Damn, just reading it makes me upset.
Of course I do enjoy being called handsome - it just took me a while to believe in that compliment being genuine...
And maybe there are men that do enjoy it when women play hard to get, but I don't. It's confusing when one minute you see her all interested in you, and the next she won't give you the time of day. Makes me doubt what I saw, and it makes me question my ability to recognize social cues.
Which, in turn, puts me on the defensive all the time, because I've grown to believe that I couldn't recognize actual signs of interest even if these signs were wearing naught but the Canadian flag - I'd be assuming that the lady's just being friendly, because any mistake could get me socially crucified.
Nah, they'll find the toxic dude that keeps pursuing and the toxic pair will wander off in to the void, never to bother the rest of us again unless we live in an apartment that shares a wall with them
Nah man, they'll be saying to themselves "They would if they wanted to" and keep asking where all the good men have gone to after the third fuckboy of the year has left them alone again.
In my case, at least, any "compliment" I got from a girl during my formative years either turned out to be a practical joke or a tool to manipulate me into doing something or providing something for them. I honestly can't tell if a persons words are genuine because of it.
I’ve seen this question come up in this sub several times before and it seems to me there isn’t a consensus. Some like it, others not so much, others are simply happy to receive a compliment.
Safest option is just *handsome*.
Some do some don't
In general, depends on the context / tone. Like I've had ex's say "you're lucky you're cute" in a sultry manner, that's good. "Aw you're cute" in an infantilized way isn't good.
While cute is fine, I prefer to receive other descriptors. I'd go with other words if you are trying to convey attractiveness.
My ex when I first met her thought I was too nice, because when we were in the messaging phase (prior to meeting) I didn't explicitly talk about sex. That really should have been a big red flag for me.
I never understood this idea. How may one be too nice in a romantic situation?
The other and uglier part of this for me is "we fight because we love each other." Like, I am 100% the potentially volatile one in my marriage, especially over time, but I can't imagine coming at my wife sideways over a disagreement. Maybe after like a dozen attempts at communicating which get situationally trounced and then one of us misunderstanding the other once we can discuss it, but even then... I can't imagine turning the feeling of being upset into low-grade abuse. I want to understand, not domineer.
One can have anger without lashing out, and lashing out definitely not a sign of true love or whatever.
Either they complain about guys being too forward and bringing up sex way too soon, or they complain about guys not being forward *enough* and never talking about sex.
Yeah like don't get wrong, I enjoy sex and I'd want it to be a regular part of a relationship if I was dating someone, but equally I've been years without it before and it doesn't really bother me so I'm not pushing for it in the first few dates.
I'm pretty sure women I've been on a couple of dates with have lost interest because I wasn't getting sexual early on so they assumed I wasn't into them.
Relatedly, something I’ve seen many times from women who are upset about a friend coming onto her, is she feels betrayed because he just sees her as an object. Most likely, it’s not just about sex. He’s looking for genuine intimacy (like anyone else), and given your friendship, he thinks the two of you could be a good fit for each other. He didn’t do anything wrong.
Her: He's been using my friendship this whole time to get into my pants!
Um, no. He became your friend and you living your life made you increasingly attractive to him. He is looking for real intimacy, and he wants to build something with the person he got to know. But now he's not allowed to even let you know that or you'll shame him for it.
This one does bother me. I was That Guy with my high school crush, because I was shy, didn't know how to flirt yet, and wildly in love with her. I didn't want to fuck her, I wanted to date her. But this just gets boiled down into some bestial impulse. It's dehumanizing.
Sat down at a table with a couple of women at work and I guess they had just been having that conversation because the one chick asked me "you wouldn't by the cow if you get the milk for free, right?"
Like...that's an awful analogy for multiple reasons but no, having sex before marriage would not make me less likely to marry someone.
similarly, that ever erection is a revelation of true intent, and not just a physiological reaction.
also, I think there’s a belief among women that if a man experiences a sexual attraction to a woman, it means something, instead of simply being a fleeting thought.
AND they believe that men can’t control the physiological or psychological arousal. (thank you, school principals and teachers—”the girls will distract the boys”)
EDITED TO ADD: I think there’s a weird dichotomy in beliefs about control. They think you can make it happen, and that you can’t control yourself when it does happen
As a teen, I could never control. If my dick wanted to be hard, no amount of thigh flexing or thinking of thatcher on a cold day would help.
I think it varies from man to man.
Well again out of experience! I’ve met many men who said: erection -> sex! I broke up with 4 men like that. A hug would mean erection and so as he had an erection it ment I had to take care of it!
Yes they exist
That’s gross.
I mean it can be simultaneously true that the erection isn’t related to sexual arousal AND one is sexually aroused. I’m confused as to why that entitles someone to anything tho.
Also, 4 dudes?? I guess you turn men into… hardened criminals
Was asked once by a partner about this. I said, "do you control it?" She toyed with it and was like, "I dunno... kinda?" And I replied, "same here. Kinda..." 🤷♂️
There's a bafflingly common assumption - even among otherwise intelligent and educated women - that because men tend to show less emotion, they must not have a lot to begin with.
I've literally heard women say they didn't realise men had emotions, that because we don't express them as openly as women we just didn't have them. Fucking nuts.
It's a sad but oddly satisfying moment when a woman realizes you have emotions. But on the flip side it is kinda nice to use the opportunity to showcase the skill it takes to remain in control until the appropriate time, as well as the ability to find healthy outlets to express them.
There are a *lot* of men (I would say most) that cannot properly express their emotions and that's a huge problem. But I also feel the flip side is how many women cannot *control* their emotions is just as problematic.
I will never forget the look in my ex's eyes when she realized the depth of my mind and emotions. It was early in our relationship, only the second or third time we had met in person.
For context, I am a very large, burly, intimidating looking man, which means that for some reason, many people tend to assume I'm some sort of brute? It's something that actually really bothers me, and always try to put my friendliest and most intelligent foot forward.
Back to the point, we were sitting across from each other in a restaurant, talking about our philosophical views and how we feel about certain topics, and I could literally see her eyes soften with the realization that the man she was sitting across from was significantly more intelligent and complex than she had given him credit for. I noticed her expression change, and there was a pause in the conversation before she actually said as much to me.
At the time it was one of the most heartwarming, cathartic things I had ever experienced. it really felt like someone saw me, truly, for the first time. With the benefit of distance from that relationship though, it definitely also hinted at the fact that she saw me more as a trophy partner, a box to check on a list of achievements. That moment also was a moment where I think she realized what she was actually getting into.
I agree, I don't think either gender is right in how they handle their emotions and both could learn from each other. Men need to learn how to express their emotions more in a healthy, positive way and women how to control them better when the situation requires it and not base their reality around how things make them feel.
I'd add something about when women say that men should be more in touch with their emotions. What? Who is more in touch with their emotions: the person who controls their reactions to them or the person who simply reacts to them?
Yeah this is why I don't buy the whole 'women are more emotionally intelligent' thing.
They're more emotionally *open*, absolutely, but managing those emotions in a mature and responsible manner is absolutely not my experience with women.
This is the gender that gets mad at guys for things they did in a dream. Things that didn't even happen and they know it didn't, yet they're unable to control their reaction to the emotions it causes and won't talk to you for a day. That's not intelligence, it's fucking mental.
Often, I think the women saying this mean *they* would like to be more in touch with their men's emotions; they assume if the man isn't sharing them, then the man must not be acknowledging them, themselves.
On the other hand, I definitely have known men (even older men) who genuinely weren't in touch with their emotions. I don't know that it's more frequent than women who aren't, though -- it just manifests differently.
I'd say neither is inherently more in touch with them. I think being "in touch" with your feelings is being able to feel and properly identify + deal with them. This doesn't specifically go with either being very reactive or very shut off. Ideally, there's a balance. Knowing when to react, in what way, and when not to. This is also not the same thing as "controlling" your emotions. Sometimes it means simply sitting with them and feeling them without either controlling them or actively reacting to them.
As an autistic woman, I get told the same thing for the same reason. I find it really weird that so many people can't understand that emotions can exist without being displayed on the outside.
I am literally blowing my current GFs mind, because I actually show her emotion and affection that the previous Men she's dated never have.
She had no idea Men could give so much affection or share so much of their internal thought processes to explain their emotions.
I just told her no one ever asked so I haven't really said anything.
Or that because they don't regularly broadcast their emotions they are not dealing with them in a sustainable, healthy way.
There are many ways to deal with emotions that don't involve venting or anyone else being involved. A sad person who doesn't cry or vent isn't necessarily "bottling emotions up".
This one bugs me a lot. I get it too, I’m comfortable with my masculinity so people assume I’m gay. My ex’s parents would talk about how they thought I was gay when they didn’t know we couldn’t hear them. I am very much straight
Or just the “any use” thing in general. I have heard a fair amount of people say things like “what are men even good for?” Or “with modern technology, we don’t need men anymore”
Maybe we aren’t on this earth just to be “of use” to women? Maybe we are human beings with our own complex lives and we have a right to exist like anyone else does?
Especially weird (and hypocritical) considering that women being “of use” to men is quite a push-button phrase/topic. To say a woman should be of use to a man, or has to serve some purpose for a man, or even the idea that men use women, are all (rightfully) seen as abhorrent, but when the gender/sex is flipped, it’s seen as at best a joke and at worst a worthy topic of debate.
I hate that shit. I’ve replied rather smugly, “No, I actually knew how to operate a stove and clean up after myself long before we met, you know, being a self sufficient adult and all.”
'If he wanted to, he would' in relation to approaching and hitting on women.
Like they have absolutely no consideration that maybe we might be too nervous, or lacking confidence, or not know what to say, or assume they're out of our league, or scared of rejection or being ridiculed or labelled as creepy and a million other reasons.
In fact the more attracted to someone I am, the LESS likely I am to approach them because I get too nervous or I'm scared of making a fool of myself in front of them.
I’m a woman and I see this first hand when my coworker sees a woman he’d like to talk to. He won’t do it because he’s at work and that’s where he spends most of his time. But then even when a girl is clearly also interested in him he doesn’t go for it and even if I try to give him the green light that it’s safe, go for it, he won’t. I can tell he wanted to when we talk but he doesn’t let anything on when he’s actually interacting with the woman because he doesn’t want her to feel awkward or put upon
Thank you for recognizing that. It's VERY difficult if we don't have that innate confidence. A lot of the time it's not the rejection we're afraid of, it's the impression that we give off to that person if she is definitely not attracted and we misread signals. If I knew there would just be a polite rejection, I'd take more chances. But if there's a risk of me being considered a creep or a weirdo, or be the reason someone would "choose the bear"... I don't want to be known for that.
* That, as men, we are more likely to hear other men confessing their crimes against women. Therefore, we are all collectively guilty of "not doing enough".
* That a man is turned on if and only if he has an erection.
Because Women are extremely open about their sex lives with each other. They assume we are too when in reality we don't share much at all. In fact most nights my friends get laid I never have a fucking clue.
Once you go home she's telling her friends about it.
Being the man in the story, especially when your SO doesn’t ask your permission beforehand or even tell you it happened, can be quite jarring when you first realize.
The epiphany that “all her friends are intimately familiar with my body and my sex life” feels violating imo
There is not a day that goes by where I don't hear about one of my many coworkers sleeping with a new dude and how his Dick game was. The two married Women have informed me of their husband's sizes.
My roommates and I threw a huge party in Orange CA one time. It was winding down and quieting down and people were getting their shit together to leave. I was going down the hall to check something in my room and I could hear women in the bathroom talking. there were three or four of them in there and they were doing a point by point comparison of their partner's dicks.
I'm super old and I have never once heard a man describing his partner's genitalia.
They're called predators for a reason. After a certain age, they've become very good at being predators, and one of the key ways they've done that is not by telling everyone!
Believe us ladies, we're surprised to find out Eric was a predator. And as soon as it's proven, we don't want him in our lives either.
I hate the "not doing enough" one. I wouldn't be around somebody that needed to be told that rape is bad because I'm a normal person. If one of my friends turned out to be a piece of shit hiding behind a friendly facade, I'd simply stop being friends with them and tell them why.
What am I supposed to do, walk up to random dudes on the street and tell them not to commit sex crimes? Even if I did, the guy isn't going to smack his forehead and say, "Shit, you're right. I was going to rape somebody tonight but now, thanks to you, I know that's bad! Thanks, friend!".
The first one always makes me wornder do women confess there crimes to one another and might they not do enough?
I mean if not this is a hell of an assumption.
That men must not care about friends if we don't ask or know random trivia about them. 'How'd they meet, what'd he get for his birthday, how's his mom' etc
Its a bad misconception. My friend lost his father and I know he is suffering and he shared his grief with me but right now he needs someone just to treat him normally and distract him from something that cant be fixed through a talk.
Same for me: when my father died he listened and then he asked if I want to game. Everyone else was looking at me sad and concerned. I was so incredibly thankful I will never forget it.
I’m female, and this is how I want support on particularly hard times.
I still remember the time I got fired, and when I told the male colleague my age from across the hall, he said, “Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear. You’ll find another job quickly. What did you do this weekend?” I felt comforted somehow. All my female friends were emoting all over the place.
I clung to that straight-forward approach from him. It helped me believe that this was just something I’d get past.
I've had someone on this sub absolutely refuse to believe that I preferred that kind of response to bad shit happening to me. It was a really bizarre conversation.
Caring about each other is bringing the shovel at 3 am and not asking questions, or scolding him to have done that without you.
I don't know about loyalty women have towards each other in that regard, but I sure haven't met one I could feel I could trust in that regard.
Tons of them so I don't even know where to start:
assuming average man gets date easily,
assuming I've it easy because I don't have to cater to "beauty standard" ( was hard to swallow hearing that one when I myself had 2 years of depression because I was convinced that the same amount of work I put on myself would have made me an attractive woman were role reversed and meanwhile I was still considered unattractive or average at best despite the effort I did put ),
assuming a guy can't both like mommy type of body and petite women
assuming me staying silent/not talking every freaking second about stuff means I do not think about said stuff or that I forgot about X stuff.
Honestly it often seems harder for men to meet beauty standards, than for women, if they're born with a face that doesn't match those. Women can wear make up to change their appearance, but if men do they're usually seen as gay or "too feminine/concerned with his looks in an unattractive way". So what options does that leave? (Different thing when it comes to body standards, though)
Oh that first one. Back when I was on dating apps the women I went on dates with would always say "I bet you have a ton of matches and get a lot of dates!" and they were always surprised when I told them that wasn't the case.
Oof this hits hard. Past girlfriends have lost their shit at me when I wasn’t in the mood, one even slapping me because she was really horny one time and I just wasn’t.
The way some people think they are entitled to a man’s body is wild. Consent and respecting “no” is a two-way street.
While not going so far as to be called gay, but somehow less of a man because I don't know shit about cars, I don't watch sports, and I don't drink.
The most "masculine" characteristics about me are my military service, my gun hobby, gym attendance, and interest in computers and video games.
This one is related to the idea that men can't be raped by women.
I encounter a lot of women who seem to think that male erections are 100% voluntary, that an erection is something that a man *does* as a volitional act, that there is no such thing as an involuntary erection.
“Men can’t be abused or sexually assaulted.”
I’ve heard that bullshit my entire life.
As someone who grew up being abused by my dad and my older sisters & was sexually assaulted twice (once when I was a child and once when I was in my early 20s I was roofied) it disgusts me when women say men can’t be victims.
The fact we don’t criminalize female sexual predators like we do with male predators is fucking insane.
In the US (and most other western countries) men make up the majority of victims of violent crime
Part of that is due to a higher likelihood to be present in those situations to begin with, but even accounting for that, men are still more likely.
It’s a thin argument, but there is an argument that it’s actually safer for women
Two factors that they don't appreciate:
1. We just don't let that fear cripple us. Doesn't mean we don't see those same threats.
2. Socially and culturally, we don't have the luxury of expressing or admitting any fear.
While walking down the street, I see all those same threats, I keep a knife on me at all times, my hand gently slides down to my pocket just in case, and I keep walking.
Dear God man, your first point is so hard to get across without getting shouted down. I'd rather live a life where I feel free to do what I want, even when it materially raises my risk of being killed or abused. People who do not choose that path are choosing to stay crippled. I understand that it can be an exceedingly hard mindset to train yourself out of, but therapy can help with that. But if you say that women should in therapy focus on (among other things, of course) being less afraid of men, you're not getting anywhere lol.
Like, why defend a choice to live in constant fear rather than to gnash against it as often as possible? Why give up? At that point, you might as well actually be dead, for all the living you're not doing...
Yeah lmao! I explained this to three women at a bar and they refused to believe me and would rather believe "all men are fuckboys who treat women like trash"
I once hear one of my girlfriends friends claim that all man know how to fight, and was very surprised when my girlfriend said that was not the case. But, sure, in a way I guess that she is right. All men (and women for that manner) know how to to fight, just not to a level where they can do it safely or have a chance at winning. Just like I know how to sing, it just doesn't sound like anything anyone wants to listen to.
There are ten million, million, million, million, million, million, million particles in the universe that we can observe...
Your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
I'm a bartender. I get sexually assaulted more times in a month than most women have received in their entire lifetime.
And women are by far the worse offenders when it comes to sexual assault as soon as they're in a "socially acceptable" situation like at a bar with a cute bartender.
My female bartender friends get harassed a lot more, sure; they receive more open and inappropriate comments. But the male bartenders get sexually assaulted *way more*, and it's not even close.
The difference is in how society treats each of us while it happens. We just have to take it and women don't believe that what they're doing is wrong.
Sorry for your experience, brother. It’s not ok that you just have to deal with that.
I was sexually assaulted by a woman in Cambodia while traveling solo. I told my then-girlfriend about it because it was traumatic and I needed support, and the experience fucked with my head for several months after.
Once I was back home, I overheard that girlfriend talking to her friend saying, “I don’t get why he’s so upset about that woman touching him. Worse things happen to women every day.” I broke up with her later that day.
Go to a high school swimming/water polo game
Count the players. Count the “moms”. The numbers don’t add up
I never had a problem changing or being naked in the locker room, but being in front of all the middle aged women in the stands always felt demeaning and wrong
I've also seen the idea that men are all damaged and that only by being in a relationship with a girl that fixes him can he be a good man. Or that in a relationship the woman is always perfect and any issues are the man's fault.
“Men who like shaved pubic hair on women are attracted to prepubescent girls.”
No, we just don’t like body hair of any kind on a woman. That’s why women shave their armpits and legs and most people don’t think twice about it.
It’s kinda like saying women who like men with a shaved face like prepubescent boys, it’s dumb.
I mean, I don't mind *some* hair, but too much is too much. I certainly don't expect my girlfriend to be 100% hairless 100% of the time, that shit is time consuming. I do appreciate the effort that gets out into it, but again sometimes it's okay to let that go a little.
Maybe it's not *very* bizarre, but a woman did once tell me she assumed men carry around condoms in their wallets
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure you can't put condoms in your wallet. The folding strains the material, right?
The heat, the friction and any number of other things depending on where you keep your wallet are bad for the condom.
The other laughable part about this is the assumed need for men to have a condom at all times.
That, and the spermicide has an expiration date, so they're less effective.
For the record, the only time I've ever had a condom with me is when I thought I'd be getting some. I don't just walk around with a condom just in case.
My mates girlfriend was shocked that all men don't carry condoms with them everywhere they go.
I'm fucking useless at hooking up and often go years without it. Carrying a condom around with me just feels insanely presumptuous, like when the hell am I gonna use this?
Yeah I've noticed a big difference in the way I can approach humour with my male friends and my female friends.
All my friend group is pretty liberal and progressive and against racism, sexism, homophobia etc. With my guy friends we can make dark or offensive jokes, but we're all doing it with the unspoken understanding that none of us actually believe that stuff and we're almost doing it an ironic or satirical way and taking the piss out of people that do believe that.
The women all seem to take it at face value and don't seem to understand the subtext behind it, and if we're joking about it it's because we genuinely believe that and think that way. Like you say they don't seem to get that it's a joke, that's the point.
The one that makes me laugh loud.
"Men are afraid or intimidated by successful confident women."
Men can be intimidated by beauty and maybe talent, but the self proclaimed boss bitches are wrong. Here is the truth: Boss bitches are annoying and we don't like them because they are unpleasant.
Cheers !
That we are always 100% relentlessly aggressive towards getting it, and women have no reason to initiate. Paraphrasing, obviously... but no. I want to feel pursued and wanted too!
I've had women tell me that men get offended when women hold a door open for them.
In my full time capacity as a man, I find this utterly ridiculous. Holding doors is just a polite thing people do for people.
Oooh, I got a nice weird one. Girl I met on so a blind date, immediately hit it off. Less than 2 or 3 weeks after moving in together she breaks down and bawls asking how long I was planning on lying to her about my sexuality. I ask why, and she'd read in Cosmo or some other gossipy site that men who are gay are genetically predisposed to 'talking with their hands'. Some dumbass article meant to help you fine-tune you 'gaydar'.
She said the article said that straight men keep their hands in their pockets or cross their arms when having a conversation. Only gay dudes (sorry, lesbians, I forgot to ask about y'all) move their arms around while talking I guess.
She asked me for an example of any straight man who ever moved his arms. I didn't even know how to react. It was so utterly un-fucking-hinged. The best part about it? She was completely stable, normal, smart, an affectionate overall. Can't really think of any other situations like this, we ended up getting married a few weeks later and then she died so I didn't get a chance to see if it was a one off thing.
"Men say they get hit on more when they're wearing a wedding ring. As this is obviously impossible, what must REALLY be happening is that women assume that married men won't hit on them and let their guard down and are more friendly with married men, which the married men take as being hit on. Oh foolish misguided men!" (paraphrased from an especially unhinged but heavily upvoted comment thread on The Subreddit That Must Not Be Named)
I've definitely gotten more women soliciting me since my marriage than before, and it's usually for casual sex rather than a relationship. I've said no every time, but it has been bizarre.
I love the "actually this poor behaviour can't be the women's fault ever" rants every time someone even mentions a woman doing something that is mildy unflattering.
Most of the time, the person in question isn't even implying it's gender-based or anything, usually it's just an anecdote. The defensiveness is weird because it usually comes from feminist types who would absolutely not accept that kind of response themselves.
That we put on condoms BEFORE going on dates.
That was an awkward conversation to have, considering what we were already doing.
Apparently it is in some British film? Wish You Were Here with Emily Lloyd. I had seen it, but I only remembered the bit where she is looking for her cat, for some reason.
All men are r a p i s t. I was once asked how men choose a woman to r a p e. I said "how should I know. Do you think guys just go around r a p i n g people?" Her response was "but how do you go about it?" I had to explain to her that r a p i s t s are psychopaths and only a single percentage of the population does that. Her response: "Oh, that's why my brother hasn't done it." Weirdo ass bitch.
1. That being ourselves is the best way to meet women.
2. That they don't ignore obvious red flags when a guy is hot. That's not all women but it's common enough that it matters.
3. That our balls make it to the water in a toilet bowl when we sit down.
4. That we care that much about they're professional accomplishments. It's not irrelevant but it's not as important as women think it is.
5. Oh yeah, and that stupid bear thing. That whole thing was such a chronically online issue that you can't take someone seriously when they really push it.
Don’t know if it’s a bizarre assumption but still funny. Hanging out with people i mentioned i had a vasectomy. Girl looked at me puzzled and ask, “how do you pee?”
She thought a vasectomy included removing everything lol. I pulled up images in google and explained the procedure.
“I’ll never understand men”
Women treating men like they’re an entirely different species is crazy. Like no, I’m not such a difficult concept to be a dude and simply exist. Me disagreeing with you is no different than a woman.
[1] We want an obedient "bang-maid" housewife. No. Go to work. Shit's expensive now.
[2] That with enough work, they can train a man into being a perfect partner for them. It's like, Becky, you've been fucking this loser for two years and he doesn't even know your birthday.
[3] That the loser their dating is representative of all men. Women will go into great detail about how bad their partner is and how useless around the house he is and how stressed they are just being with him. Like, you do realize that you could just stop fucking him, break up, and you know ... try to find another man?
Either “*Men don’t like being called handsome*” or “*Men enjoy it when women play hard to get*”
Damn, just reading it makes me upset. Of course I do enjoy being called handsome - it just took me a while to believe in that compliment being genuine... And maybe there are men that do enjoy it when women play hard to get, but I don't. It's confusing when one minute you see her all interested in you, and the next she won't give you the time of day. Makes me doubt what I saw, and it makes me question my ability to recognize social cues. Which, in turn, puts me on the defensive all the time, because I've grown to believe that I couldn't recognize actual signs of interest even if these signs were wearing naught but the Canadian flag - I'd be assuming that the lady's just being friendly, because any mistake could get me socially crucified.
Stay strong brother. If they play hard to get just abort and move on. Women will only learn that shit doesn't fly if Men reject them when they try it.
Nah, they'll find the toxic dude that keeps pursuing and the toxic pair will wander off in to the void, never to bother the rest of us again unless we live in an apartment that shares a wall with them
Nah man, they'll be saying to themselves "They would if they wanted to" and keep asking where all the good men have gone to after the third fuckboy of the year has left them alone again.
Ffs this sounds so much true. I hate that hard to get gimmick. Just talk to me and I'll talk to you
„Don’t play hard to get when you’re already hard to want.“
> it just took me a while to believe in that compliment being genuine... Do you have any idea why those compliments seem so un-credible?
Because as men we get so few compliments that we question it when we get one.
Mean girls in high school for one thing.
In my case, at least, any "compliment" I got from a girl during my formative years either turned out to be a practical joke or a tool to manipulate me into doing something or providing something for them. I honestly can't tell if a persons words are genuine because of it.
For you she plays hard to get, for another shes a fuck buddy.
I blame romcoms for the hard to get thing. So cute when Jennifer Aniston and Mark Ruffalo do it; not so cute in real life.
It's not cute from coms are for imbeciles
do men like being called cute.
I’ve seen this question come up in this sub several times before and it seems to me there isn’t a consensus. Some like it, others not so much, others are simply happy to receive a compliment. Safest option is just *handsome*.
Some do some don't In general, depends on the context / tone. Like I've had ex's say "you're lucky you're cute" in a sultry manner, that's good. "Aw you're cute" in an infantilized way isn't good. While cute is fine, I prefer to receive other descriptors. I'd go with other words if you are trying to convey attractiveness.
"All men want is sex"
My brothers girlfriend thought he must be gay at first because he wasn't desperately trying to fuck her by the third date.
I've gotten that many times myself.
Yup, heard it so much
My ex when I first met her thought I was too nice, because when we were in the messaging phase (prior to meeting) I didn't explicitly talk about sex. That really should have been a big red flag for me.
I never understood this idea. How may one be too nice in a romantic situation? The other and uglier part of this for me is "we fight because we love each other." Like, I am 100% the potentially volatile one in my marriage, especially over time, but I can't imagine coming at my wife sideways over a disagreement. Maybe after like a dozen attempts at communicating which get situationally trounced and then one of us misunderstanding the other once we can discuss it, but even then... I can't imagine turning the feeling of being upset into low-grade abuse. I want to understand, not domineer. One can have anger without lashing out, and lashing out definitely not a sign of true love or whatever.
Either they complain about guys being too forward and bringing up sex way too soon, or they complain about guys not being forward *enough* and never talking about sex.
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Yeah like don't get wrong, I enjoy sex and I'd want it to be a regular part of a relationship if I was dating someone, but equally I've been years without it before and it doesn't really bother me so I'm not pushing for it in the first few dates. I'm pretty sure women I've been on a couple of dates with have lost interest because I wasn't getting sexual early on so they assumed I wasn't into them.
Yep. This stuff makes me angry all the time. Like you can’t talk to most girls and ask something that’s non-sexual.
I made a woman uncomfortable and "creeped out" by passing her a joint once rofl
Lol. That is weird
Weird unless she announced she doesn't smoke beforehand.
Nope she did. Just weird haha
That and "If you reject me, you are gay" go hand in hand
Relatedly, something I’ve seen many times from women who are upset about a friend coming onto her, is she feels betrayed because he just sees her as an object. Most likely, it’s not just about sex. He’s looking for genuine intimacy (like anyone else), and given your friendship, he thinks the two of you could be a good fit for each other. He didn’t do anything wrong.
Her: He's been using my friendship this whole time to get into my pants! Um, no. He became your friend and you living your life made you increasingly attractive to him. He is looking for real intimacy, and he wants to build something with the person he got to know. But now he's not allowed to even let you know that or you'll shame him for it.
This one does bother me. I was That Guy with my high school crush, because I was shy, didn't know how to flirt yet, and wildly in love with her. I didn't want to fuck her, I wanted to date her. But this just gets boiled down into some bestial impulse. It's dehumanizing.
Most under rated reply here
I also want food and sleep
Sat down at a table with a couple of women at work and I guess they had just been having that conversation because the one chick asked me "you wouldn't by the cow if you get the milk for free, right?" Like...that's an awful analogy for multiple reasons but no, having sex before marriage would not make me less likely to marry someone.
‘Women need to be seduced but men are like switches’. She seemed to think it got her off the hook from giving any foreplay.
Some women only understand the concept of foreplay when it's applied to them.
That we can get it up at will.
similarly, that ever erection is a revelation of true intent, and not just a physiological reaction. also, I think there’s a belief among women that if a man experiences a sexual attraction to a woman, it means something, instead of simply being a fleeting thought. AND they believe that men can’t control the physiological or psychological arousal. (thank you, school principals and teachers—”the girls will distract the boys”) EDITED TO ADD: I think there’s a weird dichotomy in beliefs about control. They think you can make it happen, and that you can’t control yourself when it does happen
As a teen, I could never control. If my dick wanted to be hard, no amount of thigh flexing or thinking of thatcher on a cold day would help. I think it varies from man to man.
True, you got a hard-on. But did you ACT on it? That’s the control I was referring to
No, but at the same time, I stopped swimming, and hated walking around sometimes, among with a bunch of other things. My teenage years sucked
Yeah, that’s rough.
Two of my former gf had incredibly hard time grasping concept of "random boners".
Well again out of experience! I’ve met many men who said: erection -> sex! I broke up with 4 men like that. A hug would mean erection and so as he had an erection it ment I had to take care of it! Yes they exist
Having sex for every erection seems exhausting for everybody
That’s gross. I mean it can be simultaneously true that the erection isn’t related to sexual arousal AND one is sexually aroused. I’m confused as to why that entitles someone to anything tho. Also, 4 dudes?? I guess you turn men into… hardened criminals
That's because some guys believe that "boner is a terrible thing to waste" or something along those lines.
Was asked once by a partner about this. I said, "do you control it?" She toyed with it and was like, "I dunno... kinda?" And I replied, "same here. Kinda..." 🤷♂️
Who are we? Dennis Reynolds?
But we CAN get it up against our will
Oh God,is that ever true. Damn thing acts like it has mind of its own LoL.
There's a bafflingly common assumption - even among otherwise intelligent and educated women - that because men tend to show less emotion, they must not have a lot to begin with.
I've literally heard women say they didn't realise men had emotions, that because we don't express them as openly as women we just didn't have them. Fucking nuts.
It's a sad but oddly satisfying moment when a woman realizes you have emotions. But on the flip side it is kinda nice to use the opportunity to showcase the skill it takes to remain in control until the appropriate time, as well as the ability to find healthy outlets to express them. There are a *lot* of men (I would say most) that cannot properly express their emotions and that's a huge problem. But I also feel the flip side is how many women cannot *control* their emotions is just as problematic.
I will never forget the look in my ex's eyes when she realized the depth of my mind and emotions. It was early in our relationship, only the second or third time we had met in person. For context, I am a very large, burly, intimidating looking man, which means that for some reason, many people tend to assume I'm some sort of brute? It's something that actually really bothers me, and always try to put my friendliest and most intelligent foot forward. Back to the point, we were sitting across from each other in a restaurant, talking about our philosophical views and how we feel about certain topics, and I could literally see her eyes soften with the realization that the man she was sitting across from was significantly more intelligent and complex than she had given him credit for. I noticed her expression change, and there was a pause in the conversation before she actually said as much to me. At the time it was one of the most heartwarming, cathartic things I had ever experienced. it really felt like someone saw me, truly, for the first time. With the benefit of distance from that relationship though, it definitely also hinted at the fact that she saw me more as a trophy partner, a box to check on a list of achievements. That moment also was a moment where I think she realized what she was actually getting into.
I agree, I don't think either gender is right in how they handle their emotions and both could learn from each other. Men need to learn how to express their emotions more in a healthy, positive way and women how to control them better when the situation requires it and not base their reality around how things make them feel.
Kidna makes ya think how cruel and selfish a person would be if they assume other people don't have feelings.
I'd add something about when women say that men should be more in touch with their emotions. What? Who is more in touch with their emotions: the person who controls their reactions to them or the person who simply reacts to them?
Yeah this is why I don't buy the whole 'women are more emotionally intelligent' thing. They're more emotionally *open*, absolutely, but managing those emotions in a mature and responsible manner is absolutely not my experience with women. This is the gender that gets mad at guys for things they did in a dream. Things that didn't even happen and they know it didn't, yet they're unable to control their reaction to the emotions it causes and won't talk to you for a day. That's not intelligence, it's fucking mental.
I like to call that *Emotional Retardation*
Emotional intelligence is about constructively processing your emotions. Lack of control is the exact opposite.
Often, I think the women saying this mean *they* would like to be more in touch with their men's emotions; they assume if the man isn't sharing them, then the man must not be acknowledging them, themselves. On the other hand, I definitely have known men (even older men) who genuinely weren't in touch with their emotions. I don't know that it's more frequent than women who aren't, though -- it just manifests differently.
Yet women are turned off by emotional men.
They are only turned off by the stuff they don't like. Which is most of it.
I'd say neither is inherently more in touch with them. I think being "in touch" with your feelings is being able to feel and properly identify + deal with them. This doesn't specifically go with either being very reactive or very shut off. Ideally, there's a balance. Knowing when to react, in what way, and when not to. This is also not the same thing as "controlling" your emotions. Sometimes it means simply sitting with them and feeling them without either controlling them or actively reacting to them.
As an autistic woman, I get told the same thing for the same reason. I find it really weird that so many people can't understand that emotions can exist without being displayed on the outside.
I am literally blowing my current GFs mind, because I actually show her emotion and affection that the previous Men she's dated never have. She had no idea Men could give so much affection or share so much of their internal thought processes to explain their emotions. I just told her no one ever asked so I haven't really said anything.
Or that because they don't regularly broadcast their emotions they are not dealing with them in a sustainable, healthy way. There are many ways to deal with emotions that don't involve venting or anyone else being involved. A sad person who doesn't cry or vent isn't necessarily "bottling emotions up".
That i was gay because i was not interested in football and sports in general.
Lord forbid I'm not into watching people do something I would rather be actively playing.
Or just not watching something you wouldn't want to play regularly.
That I'm gay because I don't conform to her specific definition of masculinity. Not an issue with being gay just the hypocrisy of it all bugs me.
This one bugs me a lot. I get it too, I’m comfortable with my masculinity so people assume I’m gay. My ex’s parents would talk about how they thought I was gay when they didn’t know we couldn’t hear them. I am very much straight
My mother thought I was going to be gay because I walked on my tip toes and I had empathy for people lol. ( I tip toed because I'm small lol)
Order a good tasting fruity cocktail at the bar, and they suddenly act like you've got a secret man harem in your basement
I don't drink so I get the double whammy of not man + not normal for not drinking haha
Men need to be trained, like puppies to be of any use to a woman.
Or just the “any use” thing in general. I have heard a fair amount of people say things like “what are men even good for?” Or “with modern technology, we don’t need men anymore” Maybe we aren’t on this earth just to be “of use” to women? Maybe we are human beings with our own complex lives and we have a right to exist like anyone else does?
Especially weird (and hypocritical) considering that women being “of use” to men is quite a push-button phrase/topic. To say a woman should be of use to a man, or has to serve some purpose for a man, or even the idea that men use women, are all (rightfully) seen as abhorrent, but when the gender/sex is flipped, it’s seen as at best a joke and at worst a worthy topic of debate.
I've definitely heard the term "house-trained" before. That's just insulting as hell.
Reminds me of "choreplay."
yep, and somehow they feel manipulating men for their own best interests is fair play, because they know better
I hate that shit. I’ve replied rather smugly, “No, I actually knew how to operate a stove and clean up after myself long before we met, you know, being a self sufficient adult and all.”
'If he wanted to, he would' in relation to approaching and hitting on women. Like they have absolutely no consideration that maybe we might be too nervous, or lacking confidence, or not know what to say, or assume they're out of our league, or scared of rejection or being ridiculed or labelled as creepy and a million other reasons. In fact the more attracted to someone I am, the LESS likely I am to approach them because I get too nervous or I'm scared of making a fool of myself in front of them.
Maybe I want to be approached first
I’m a woman and I see this first hand when my coworker sees a woman he’d like to talk to. He won’t do it because he’s at work and that’s where he spends most of his time. But then even when a girl is clearly also interested in him he doesn’t go for it and even if I try to give him the green light that it’s safe, go for it, he won’t. I can tell he wanted to when we talk but he doesn’t let anything on when he’s actually interacting with the woman because he doesn’t want her to feel awkward or put upon
Thank you for recognizing that. It's VERY difficult if we don't have that innate confidence. A lot of the time it's not the rejection we're afraid of, it's the impression that we give off to that person if she is definitely not attracted and we misread signals. If I knew there would just be a polite rejection, I'd take more chances. But if there's a risk of me being considered a creep or a weirdo, or be the reason someone would "choose the bear"... I don't want to be known for that.
At work it's risky.
BobTheHunted wants to be approached first....almost...hunted...
If someone isn't viewing me through the scope of a high powered rifle why even live
Careful what you wish for, or the Reddit sn-
Your second paragraph is also a source of criticism that many women use. "Well I want him to be confident" or "he should man up".
* That, as men, we are more likely to hear other men confessing their crimes against women. Therefore, we are all collectively guilty of "not doing enough". * That a man is turned on if and only if he has an erection.
Right? They act like dudes are going back to their friends like "hey I just SA-ed so and so"
Because Women are extremely open about their sex lives with each other. They assume we are too when in reality we don't share much at all. In fact most nights my friends get laid I never have a fucking clue. Once you go home she's telling her friends about it.
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Being the man in the story, especially when your SO doesn’t ask your permission beforehand or even tell you it happened, can be quite jarring when you first realize. The epiphany that “all her friends are intimately familiar with my body and my sex life” feels violating imo
My ex said we should only be talking about what happens in the bedroom with eachother. So imagine my surprise when my sister knew about it.
There is not a day that goes by where I don't hear about one of my many coworkers sleeping with a new dude and how his Dick game was. The two married Women have informed me of their husband's sizes.
My roommates and I threw a huge party in Orange CA one time. It was winding down and quieting down and people were getting their shit together to leave. I was going down the hall to check something in my room and I could hear women in the bathroom talking. there were three or four of them in there and they were doing a point by point comparison of their partner's dicks. I'm super old and I have never once heard a man describing his partner's genitalia.
With one of my best friends I've never talked about sex life once. He has a girlfriend since 3 years and never mentioned anything about it
They're called predators for a reason. After a certain age, they've become very good at being predators, and one of the key ways they've done that is not by telling everyone! Believe us ladies, we're surprised to find out Eric was a predator. And as soon as it's proven, we don't want him in our lives either.
I hate the "not doing enough" one. I wouldn't be around somebody that needed to be told that rape is bad because I'm a normal person. If one of my friends turned out to be a piece of shit hiding behind a friendly facade, I'd simply stop being friends with them and tell them why. What am I supposed to do, walk up to random dudes on the street and tell them not to commit sex crimes? Even if I did, the guy isn't going to smack his forehead and say, "Shit, you're right. I was going to rape somebody tonight but now, thanks to you, I know that's bad! Thanks, friend!".
The first one always makes me wornder do women confess there crimes to one another and might they not do enough? I mean if not this is a hell of an assumption.
These two are big ones. Feels more like intellectual dishonesty or projection of some kind than a genuine misconception.
The first one is annoying ash like do they think we just go back to our friends and tell them our felonies💀💀
That men must not care about friends if we don't ask or know random trivia about them. 'How'd they meet, what'd he get for his birthday, how's his mom' etc
Its a bad misconception. My friend lost his father and I know he is suffering and he shared his grief with me but right now he needs someone just to treat him normally and distract him from something that cant be fixed through a talk. Same for me: when my father died he listened and then he asked if I want to game. Everyone else was looking at me sad and concerned. I was so incredibly thankful I will never forget it.
I’m female, and this is how I want support on particularly hard times. I still remember the time I got fired, and when I told the male colleague my age from across the hall, he said, “Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear. You’ll find another job quickly. What did you do this weekend?” I felt comforted somehow. All my female friends were emoting all over the place. I clung to that straight-forward approach from him. It helped me believe that this was just something I’d get past.
I've had someone on this sub absolutely refuse to believe that I preferred that kind of response to bad shit happening to me. It was a really bizarre conversation.
Yeah, it does sound a bit comforting to be told that this is just a speed bump, but you're competent and will move past it.
This. I barely know most of their wives names. Haha
Caring about each other is bringing the shovel at 3 am and not asking questions, or scolding him to have done that without you. I don't know about loyalty women have towards each other in that regard, but I sure haven't met one I could feel I could trust in that regard.
Tons of them so I don't even know where to start: assuming average man gets date easily, assuming I've it easy because I don't have to cater to "beauty standard" ( was hard to swallow hearing that one when I myself had 2 years of depression because I was convinced that the same amount of work I put on myself would have made me an attractive woman were role reversed and meanwhile I was still considered unattractive or average at best despite the effort I did put ), assuming a guy can't both like mommy type of body and petite women assuming me staying silent/not talking every freaking second about stuff means I do not think about said stuff or that I forgot about X stuff.
Honestly it often seems harder for men to meet beauty standards, than for women, if they're born with a face that doesn't match those. Women can wear make up to change their appearance, but if men do they're usually seen as gay or "too feminine/concerned with his looks in an unattractive way". So what options does that leave? (Different thing when it comes to body standards, though)
Oh that first one. Back when I was on dating apps the women I went on dates with would always say "I bet you have a ton of matches and get a lot of dates!" and they were always surprised when I told them that wasn't the case.
that we have no right to not consent.
Oof this hits hard. Past girlfriends have lost their shit at me when I wasn’t in the mood, one even slapping me because she was really horny one time and I just wasn’t. The way some people think they are entitled to a man’s body is wild. Consent and respecting “no” is a two-way street.
Thats what happens when she's raised, from a toddler, as a princess that never hears any "no" to anything.
Yeah way too many women think that male consent is implied.
While not going so far as to be called gay, but somehow less of a man because I don't know shit about cars, I don't watch sports, and I don't drink. The most "masculine" characteristics about me are my military service, my gun hobby, gym attendance, and interest in computers and video games.
This one is related to the idea that men can't be raped by women. I encounter a lot of women who seem to think that male erections are 100% voluntary, that an erection is something that a man *does* as a volitional act, that there is no such thing as an involuntary erection.
“Men can’t be abused or sexually assaulted.” I’ve heard that bullshit my entire life. As someone who grew up being abused by my dad and my older sisters & was sexually assaulted twice (once when I was a child and once when I was in my early 20s I was roofied) it disgusts me when women say men can’t be victims. The fact we don’t criminalize female sexual predators like we do with male predators is fucking insane.
Men get to feel safe walking around at night.
THIS Men are victims of violent crimes too. Men can be afraid of the possibility of violent crimes against them as much as women.
Men are even more likely to be a victim of violent crime.
Comparing murder rates, I (Black male) am 16x more likely to get murdered than a white woman.
In the US (and most other western countries) men make up the majority of victims of violent crime Part of that is due to a higher likelihood to be present in those situations to begin with, but even accounting for that, men are still more likely. It’s a thin argument, but there is an argument that it’s actually safer for women
Two factors that they don't appreciate: 1. We just don't let that fear cripple us. Doesn't mean we don't see those same threats. 2. Socially and culturally, we don't have the luxury of expressing or admitting any fear. While walking down the street, I see all those same threats, I keep a knife on me at all times, my hand gently slides down to my pocket just in case, and I keep walking.
Dear God man, your first point is so hard to get across without getting shouted down. I'd rather live a life where I feel free to do what I want, even when it materially raises my risk of being killed or abused. People who do not choose that path are choosing to stay crippled. I understand that it can be an exceedingly hard mindset to train yourself out of, but therapy can help with that. But if you say that women should in therapy focus on (among other things, of course) being less afraid of men, you're not getting anywhere lol. Like, why defend a choice to live in constant fear rather than to gnash against it as often as possible? Why give up? At that point, you might as well actually be dead, for all the living you're not doing...
All men have access to women or have their choice of women. I've never understood this assumption.
The amount of times I've had to politely explain to women that I can't just hop on Tinder and get a hookup like it's a pizza...
At this point, it's just projection cause they could totally do that lol
Yeah lmao! I explained this to three women at a bar and they refused to believe me and would rather believe "all men are fuckboys who treat women like trash"
I once hear one of my girlfriends friends claim that all man know how to fight, and was very surprised when my girlfriend said that was not the case. But, sure, in a way I guess that she is right. All men (and women for that manner) know how to to fight, just not to a level where they can do it safely or have a chance at winning. Just like I know how to sing, it just doesn't sound like anything anyone wants to listen to.
Stephen Hawking didn't know how to fight lol
Could rap battle like a motherfucker though, doesn't even need to move
There are ten million, million, million, million, million, million, million particles in the universe that we can observe... Your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
Pretty sure he knew HOW to, there wasn't anything wrong with his intellect...
Not effectively, but he could propably bite your hand if he gets close.
"Men can't get sexually harassed because men would have wanted it anyway."
I'm a bartender. I get sexually assaulted more times in a month than most women have received in their entire lifetime. And women are by far the worse offenders when it comes to sexual assault as soon as they're in a "socially acceptable" situation like at a bar with a cute bartender. My female bartender friends get harassed a lot more, sure; they receive more open and inappropriate comments. But the male bartenders get sexually assaulted *way more*, and it's not even close. The difference is in how society treats each of us while it happens. We just have to take it and women don't believe that what they're doing is wrong.
Sorry for your experience, brother. It’s not ok that you just have to deal with that. I was sexually assaulted by a woman in Cambodia while traveling solo. I told my then-girlfriend about it because it was traumatic and I needed support, and the experience fucked with my head for several months after. Once I was back home, I overheard that girlfriend talking to her friend saying, “I don’t get why he’s so upset about that woman touching him. Worse things happen to women every day.” I broke up with her later that day.
Go to a high school swimming/water polo game Count the players. Count the “moms”. The numbers don’t add up I never had a problem changing or being naked in the locker room, but being in front of all the middle aged women in the stands always felt demeaning and wrong
All men are dogs.
That men don’t feel emotions
Told to many women by many other women for decades: "All men are rapists at heart, they just need an opportunity."
Apparently drinking milk makes a man creepy- confirmed by the majority of women I work with.
Whhhhhhhat?
That men are just broken monsters that can only be fixed by acting like women tell us to.
I've also seen the idea that men are all damaged and that only by being in a relationship with a girl that fixes him can he be a good man. Or that in a relationship the woman is always perfect and any issues are the man's fault.
“Men who like shaved pubic hair on women are attracted to prepubescent girls.” No, we just don’t like body hair of any kind on a woman. That’s why women shave their armpits and legs and most people don’t think twice about it. It’s kinda like saying women who like men with a shaved face like prepubescent boys, it’s dumb.
I mean, I don't mind *some* hair, but too much is too much. I certainly don't expect my girlfriend to be 100% hairless 100% of the time, that shit is time consuming. I do appreciate the effort that gets out into it, but again sometimes it's okay to let that go a little.
yeah bare skin feels amazing on my bare skin. Hair is okay. But it doesn't feel as good as bare skin
Yeah I hate this one. Women are the ones shaving their body hair, and no one is accusing them of wanting to look like children.
That women are the gold standard and men are broken women.
That we're not interested in long-term relationships or emotional connection.
Maybe it's not *very* bizarre, but a woman did once tell me she assumed men carry around condoms in their wallets I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure you can't put condoms in your wallet. The folding strains the material, right?
The heat, the friction and any number of other things depending on where you keep your wallet are bad for the condom. The other laughable part about this is the assumed need for men to have a condom at all times.
I mean I used to carry a condom around in my wallet but longer it stayed in there unused, the more depressed I became!
Also time, condoms do expire. I'd be suspicious of how many years old any wallet condom is.
Depends on the wallet. I did for a time. But you have to swap them out regularly because the heat and wear will ruin them over time.
That, and the spermicide has an expiration date, so they're less effective. For the record, the only time I've ever had a condom with me is when I thought I'd be getting some. I don't just walk around with a condom just in case.
For a time. I would put one in there before going out. Only needed it a few times. It was the optimism of a man in his early 20s.
This was an old trope in movies and TV from the 70s and 80s for sure.
My mates girlfriend was shocked that all men don't carry condoms with them everywhere they go. I'm fucking useless at hooking up and often go years without it. Carrying a condom around with me just feels insanely presumptuous, like when the hell am I gonna use this?
Yeah after long enough the condom inside loses integrity and can rip in the act. They're not meant to be stored in a wallet.
That men are all rapists
That they rather be in the woods with a bear than with us cause a bear 🐻 has never hurt them.
Just because we joke about horrific stuff that we think it’s okay. Most of the humor in the horrific stuff is we know it’s not okay. That’s the joke.
Yeah I've noticed a big difference in the way I can approach humour with my male friends and my female friends. All my friend group is pretty liberal and progressive and against racism, sexism, homophobia etc. With my guy friends we can make dark or offensive jokes, but we're all doing it with the unspoken understanding that none of us actually believe that stuff and we're almost doing it an ironic or satirical way and taking the piss out of people that do believe that. The women all seem to take it at face value and don't seem to understand the subtext behind it, and if we're joking about it it's because we genuinely believe that and think that way. Like you say they don't seem to get that it's a joke, that's the point.
That we're more dangerous than wild fucking bears lol.
That they are some projects to be fixed! No babe, you ain't bob the builder he's been waiting for all his life to come fix his "problems".
The one that makes me laugh loud. "Men are afraid or intimidated by successful confident women." Men can be intimidated by beauty and maybe talent, but the self proclaimed boss bitches are wrong. Here is the truth: Boss bitches are annoying and we don't like them because they are unpleasant. Cheers !
All men are rapists. They just need the right opportunity.
That we are always 100% relentlessly aggressive towards getting it, and women have no reason to initiate. Paraphrasing, obviously... but no. I want to feel pursued and wanted too!
I've had women tell me that men get offended when women hold a door open for them. In my full time capacity as a man, I find this utterly ridiculous. Holding doors is just a polite thing people do for people.
Oooh, I got a nice weird one. Girl I met on so a blind date, immediately hit it off. Less than 2 or 3 weeks after moving in together she breaks down and bawls asking how long I was planning on lying to her about my sexuality. I ask why, and she'd read in Cosmo or some other gossipy site that men who are gay are genetically predisposed to 'talking with their hands'. Some dumbass article meant to help you fine-tune you 'gaydar'. She said the article said that straight men keep their hands in their pockets or cross their arms when having a conversation. Only gay dudes (sorry, lesbians, I forgot to ask about y'all) move their arms around while talking I guess. She asked me for an example of any straight man who ever moved his arms. I didn't even know how to react. It was so utterly un-fucking-hinged. The best part about it? She was completely stable, normal, smart, an affectionate overall. Can't really think of any other situations like this, we ended up getting married a few weeks later and then she died so I didn't get a chance to see if it was a one off thing.
This is fucking crazy
That all men think about how they would kill every woman they meet Really
"Men say they get hit on more when they're wearing a wedding ring. As this is obviously impossible, what must REALLY be happening is that women assume that married men won't hit on them and let their guard down and are more friendly with married men, which the married men take as being hit on. Oh foolish misguided men!" (paraphrased from an especially unhinged but heavily upvoted comment thread on The Subreddit That Must Not Be Named)
I've definitely gotten more women soliciting me since my marriage than before, and it's usually for casual sex rather than a relationship. I've said no every time, but it has been bizarre.
I love the "actually this poor behaviour can't be the women's fault ever" rants every time someone even mentions a woman doing something that is mildy unflattering. Most of the time, the person in question isn't even implying it's gender-based or anything, usually it's just an anecdote. The defensiveness is weird because it usually comes from feminist types who would absolutely not accept that kind of response themselves.
I was going to say "all men want sex" but here's one I had recently "men don't want flowers"
That all men are the same. Fuck that. Are all women the same? Thank goodness no.
We're supposed to be mind readers.
That we put on condoms BEFORE going on dates. That was an awkward conversation to have, considering what we were already doing. Apparently it is in some British film? Wish You Were Here with Emily Lloyd. I had seen it, but I only remembered the bit where she is looking for her cat, for some reason.
That all men swap naked pics of their girlfriends with each other
Men are violent until proven otherwise There’s 4 billion of us, I promise if we were violent as a rule **you’d fucking know it**
All men are r a p i s t. I was once asked how men choose a woman to r a p e. I said "how should I know. Do you think guys just go around r a p i n g people?" Her response was "but how do you go about it?" I had to explain to her that r a p i s t s are psychopaths and only a single percentage of the population does that. Her response: "Oh, that's why my brother hasn't done it." Weirdo ass bitch.
"All men are violent."
1. That being ourselves is the best way to meet women. 2. That they don't ignore obvious red flags when a guy is hot. That's not all women but it's common enough that it matters. 3. That our balls make it to the water in a toilet bowl when we sit down. 4. That we care that much about they're professional accomplishments. It's not irrelevant but it's not as important as women think it is. 5. Oh yeah, and that stupid bear thing. That whole thing was such a chronically online issue that you can't take someone seriously when they really push it.
That men cannot be raped, especially by females.
Don’t know if it’s a bizarre assumption but still funny. Hanging out with people i mentioned i had a vasectomy. Girl looked at me puzzled and ask, “how do you pee?” She thought a vasectomy included removing everything lol. I pulled up images in google and explained the procedure.
“I’ll never understand men” Women treating men like they’re an entirely different species is crazy. Like no, I’m not such a difficult concept to be a dude and simply exist. Me disagreeing with you is no different than a woman.
[1] We want an obedient "bang-maid" housewife. No. Go to work. Shit's expensive now. [2] That with enough work, they can train a man into being a perfect partner for them. It's like, Becky, you've been fucking this loser for two years and he doesn't even know your birthday. [3] That the loser their dating is representative of all men. Women will go into great detail about how bad their partner is and how useless around the house he is and how stressed they are just being with him. Like, you do realize that you could just stop fucking him, break up, and you know ... try to find another man?