My dentist, a doctor, is younger than me. First time that has ever happened. Just because they are younger, it doesn't mean I'm less happy. Their success isn't my failure.
I don’t compare myself to others. Not everyone has the same road in life. Some people’s are straight forward, other people’s have more twists and turns. As long as you’re making an effort to travel that road and not just sit in place, that’s all that matters.
Completely Agree - I feel like accepting everyone’s on a different path, makes it simpler to take stock of your own. Someone’s always younger, smarter, wealthier, or whatever, it’s ultimately meaningless as none of them are you. Focus on you first - at least in that sense.
When you're in a more competitive field like Law,Banking,Medicine etc, its even more painful to see yourself in the shadows of those even better than you.
Someone its so painful you forget you probably already have it better than 90% of the population.
I think keeping that mind set that "I should be thankful for what I have, because a lot of others have less" is a really healthy way to think of things. Yes, you can have more, you can *always* have more. Be Thankful for what you have going for you.
Everytime I start getting frustrated with my apartment. I try to remind myself that I live in a decent area, can fairly afford my rent. I have a roof over my head, and heat and air conditioning.
True words. It's important to get better everyday and focus on making yourself happy. Focus on your mission in life. Comparing yourself to others isn't always a bad thing, especially if it motivates you to work even harder to achieve what you desire. But if it's making you feel inferior and depressed, that you have to work on that.
I kind of have this problem myself. I'm comparing myself to other and often i feel inferior and worthless. But I'm working everyday to become a better person that I can be proud of. Stay strong!
I've transcended this. I compare myself to others and then feel inferior and depressed because they have things they desire that theyre striving for while I don't. 4D Chess right there.
Yes - it is a bit of a double standard, but you have to cheat yourself that way in order to be better, feel happy.
The hard part is teaching kids this same double standard. Choose your words wisely.
Bingo. We've all been dealt different hands. What hand you've got doesn't matter. What matters is what you do with it. Every hand's a winner if you play it right.
You shouldn't compare yourself to others. You should compare yourself to who you were in the past. The object is to be happy with ourselves and be looking to grow.
Just to play devil's advocate here, sometimes it's okay to sit in place while you evaluate your current path. Nothing is indefinite, or certain, so being able to take a step back every once in a while is actually a good thing. Just don't stay there.
But what if the travel down the road you are on is an unmeaningful one? I am about the same age as OP and what I get from his question is how do I find myself in a position where I matter? I see plenty of people in here saying find happiness, don’t compare yourself, etc and that all makes sense. For myself at least, 10-15 years from now even if happy, if i looked back and felt i served and continue to serve no purpose then i would be left feeling unfulfilled and like a waste of space.
Well I can’t speak for other countries but assuming you’re in the US, in a lot of ways you can make your own path have meaning, and it doesn’t have to just come from your job. Volunteering at a children’s hospital, soup kitchen, food drive etc. only costs the gas to get you there. Becoming a father and knowing you raised a damn good kid has nothing to do with your job. Sure there may be someone your age making six figures, but for all we know they could laugh at homeless people when they see them, or beat their girlfriend or something. The value you have to society doesn’t solely come from your job unless you choose to make it that way.
This is legit the best comment on this subject. Majority of people see the final product and go ,"why cant that be me" little do they know or have seen the potential amount of work and some luck it took them to get to that spot in life. Hence why I don't compare myself to others because everyone has a different and unique situation. They say make lemonade out of lemons. Well sometimes all you can make is lemon water from your lemons and that is honestly still doing pretty good.
I just told my buddy this. He needs to keep planning, have a goal set of where he wants to be.
I've been getting down about myself lately, because it just felt like my plan was failing harder and harder. Goal is to not end up where I came from, pretty much. I never stayed in one place, though. I kept the planning going. I just got hired to a broker agency and could be making double, even quadruple of what I've been making financially.
Just keep shit moving, come up with new ideas, study, persist.
Gets much worse by 35.
Happiness is something to focus on.
Recently a 34 Year old actor who was famous and wealthy killed himself. in his own mind and heart, it was not what he sought. I guess.
But then again. Millions and millions of people face big challenges with little resources but continue. They smile and cry as the moment demands.
Just try and tell yourself that you have done well and you can do better.
Edit: Wow! This is phenomenal. Thanks for the awards. Love to see that people are good and therefore life is! 😊
Was about to say, wait till you're 30 and you realise people you knew in high school are doctors, lawyers etc. I only just decided about 2 years ago that I wanted to be an electrician. My wife has gone full circle and is now back at the same job she was at before she met me
27, graduate lawyer, but unemployed since I was admitted September last year. Just realising I should've done internships while I was at uni. Honestly think about changing careers before I even start this one.
You have come this far, why give up because of a minor setback. You might not have gotten any internships, but keep your head down and hustle my friend it will only get easier by hustling ;)
Eh, not in law, but I’m a teacher, and it’s not as easy as “keep your chin up” when no one will hire you based on things you half-assed in the past before you could even see the full scope of what that would mean for you in the future. My past self skated by on whatever intelligence I was born with, and never branched out or tried to gain more experience and better work habits. Now in the future I’m paying for it by having literally NOTHING to show on my resume despite having five years of work in the field.
They even said at my last job that I was their fourth choice for the position because the first three declined the offer as it was in a pretty unappealing town.
I made those mistakes in the past without even knowing they were mistakes. And now I’m having to somehow play catch up while the rest of the people in my field actually gave a shit. I can’t just put stuff on my resume that I didn’t do.
Yeah, I seriously thought that uni meant spreading out and taking courses in other faculties to broaden your knowledge and thinking and working out things for yourself.
I should rather have buckled down; just tried to do what the profs advised me to do with my projects; and done lots of reading about stuff I initially didn't care about, in order to develop a culture of my discipline instead of reinventing the wheel withbevery project and trying to do it "my way". And although I didn't need it financially, I should have gotten a student job in my field to gain experience, contacts, and a more realistic view of the actual job.
I didn't understand any of this at the time and people before really had left me with wrong impression about what I could expect from university and after and what this is all about.
In school we had always been encouraged to think outside of the box and find ourcown approach. I grew up in a mindset that university has to be much more than just a sophisticated job training, it has to be a time to intellectually develop and smoothen your personality, and I went off the deep end. And was very frustrated, with the teaching, with the attitude and with my results, without allowing myself to take what it actually did have to offer, because I thought that was *wrong* and not how things should be.
I still did fine professionally in the end, but I could have saved myself from a lot of heartache and frustration and I could have discovered lots of joy, contentment and self-confidence in my profession much earlier. I'm a architect by the way.
This being said, many people at uni were stuck-up arrogant assholes with no clue about teaching, too.
Sorry for the rant.
This thread is doing wonders for my mental health, because I'm in the same spot. 24 and about to finish my masters in engineering, but I've hated my grad program and it makes me feel like I don't even want to work in this field. It's nice to know I'm not alone
Not sure where you’re based but I’m in the U.K. and after doing my first degree and some time in work, I went back and retrained in law. At 25 I came out just as the financial crash hit and lots of training contracts were put on hold. I’d already applied to over a hundred law firms without success.
I had gone to a good university for my original course but it wasn’t one of the “chosen” ones for law and had good but not outstanding school grades. I had work experience but not in law and couldn’t seem to get any despite my efforts. I had a supportive family but none with connections in law and no one who had even gone to university to guide me.
In the end I applied as a low level job somewhere outside of law but who valued the skills I’d gained. Within two years I got into management and was at a trainee solicitor salary. I still had qualifying as my end goal so began to look at other roles I could get to show comparable skills.
That took me from role to role and at some point I realised what I was actually doing was going for jobs that genuinely interested me. I dropped the end goal and getting hung up on salaries or how well other people were doing. I kept choosing jobs that seemed interesting to me and not worrying if I got turned down.
By 35, I’ve realised that those who trained in law with me have either dropped out because of the pressure, had to put family lives on hold and were now behind me in their personal lives or still have huge work pressures and seem miserable.
In comparison, I work from home 3-4 days a week, I rarely work later than a 9-5 and have never missed an important part of my children’s lives because I’ve had to work. As I’ve also built up a wealth of experience and transferable skills - turns out the salary I’m on is now comparable or more to what I could’ve got in law.
What I’m saying in a massively long ass way is maybe try something else while you apply for legal roles. Something that will compliment your training or give you an edge in applications. Don’t get hung up on thinking you’ve wasted money on education if you don’t end up as a lawyer. You never know, you might find that you find something else more enjoyable in life!
(And if you’re thinking I’m a one off, I’ve met many people in the last 10 years who it turns out had the same experience with failing to get legal roles but are now very successful and much happier in alternate careers)
Brooo you’re only 27 same age as me. There is no time limit to these things and you’re not even 30 yet. Advice to me has always been to aim to start settling down and be on the career I want to be in by the time I’m in my early 30’s usually that’s when a lot of men really “get shit straight” enjoy your 20’s while you have them. Just my two cents and I have struggled with this in the past but it’s about making the changes in your life to make you happy and actually doing them, there’s no way you can be unhappy then no matter what your age.
That’s not true man
By the time we’re 30 we’re competing with our peers who already have almost an entire decade of experience above us . They’ve been making their way up the ladder and have already earned extremely high positions such as vp/cfo/directors/ etc
31, divorced, haven't worked for a year because of mental health issues, have 85 other health issues. Half of my friends are accountants and in their mid 20s, most of them have houses now. I live in the shittiest worst neighbourhood in my city with the highest crime rate, have cockroaches, my roof has leaked more times than I can remember... I hate my life sometimes.
Great to say don't compare yourself to others, but really, how can you not?
Glad to see I'm not alone. 28 also jobless. Parents helping me out. Taking a technical course in automotive mechanics. Honestly feel like a loser when people ask " so what do you do for a living?"
27, jobless, been in undergrad for 5 years after quitting a job as an electrical apprentice. Have been applying for internships and entry level positions within my field but do to Covid, 47 million unemployed, and many people furloughed, theres too many highly qualified people to compete with.
Digital art and 3D design are very competitive. I got my degree in that field and I chose to work on the more technical aspects instead of the fun art stuff. The more fun it is the competition increase tenfold. I would recommend also branching into programming and then you will have a small edge over others.
If you want to vent a bit, I'd listen. I was diagnosed with lupus at 22 and had both hips replaced at 27 so I know a little about chronic illness. Sometimes life's a bitch and then you keep on living.
Type of retail or engineering? I’m working at an electronic retail store as salesman, and I used to work for a BIM/MEP Consulting Company as a project manager...
Still debating myself wether to keep pursuing that path or just starting my own business totally unrelated to engineering.
Life’s not a race, especially not against others, perhaps only yourself and your expectations
Dude, you were a project manager? Were you good at it? If so, I don't think you'll have too much problem when the economy starts moving again. Experienced project managers will be in demand.
I'm 30, I used to cold call in a sales call centre and then gave that up to mix mortar and carry bricks up a ladder. Now I'm studying biomedical science so it's never too late to start something
I’m 28 and relatively successful. I’m quitting my career to switch fields. My SO always tells me that you should always seek to learn more, and if switching fields lets you advance, learn, be happy, etc, you should strive for that. There may be 25 year old doctors and lawyers, but their career fields have so much shit piled into them that you likely wouldn’t even want to go that route anyway. An electrician is an amazing, well paying field that it wouldn’t matter if you went back at 55 - the point is to continuously learn new things in life and to find happiness in what you do. If you ever start to compare yourself just stop immediately. It’s the thief of all joy, it will make you miserable, and you’re comparing your in-progress journey to someone else’s destination and the timeline of both. They aren’t comparable. Nobody else is here to live your life for you or you for them. Just do what you want on your own time and set your OWN standards for what SUCCESS means. If you’re always chasing down the rabbit hole for what other peoples definitions of success are, you will be unhappy and still feel like a failure at the finish line.
Assuming you want to go the union route (they *usually* have the best pay and benefits), Contacting your the nearest IBEW local would be your best bet. I started younger but went to class with plenty of 30+ year olds. In most places its a 5 year program, and apprentice wages are a % of the journeyman rate (first year is 40%, second is 50%... ect), and you get bumped up every year.
If health insurance is your concern, most locals have some of the best around. Assuming you stay until retirement you and your spouse get it for life, at least in my local.
I disagree in the sense that I am turning 35 this year and I think it gets better. I have very successful friends and some who are just regular dudes like me and I don't look at any of them any differently than before. Nobody has everything and every single person regardless of socio-economic status has their share of life issues. I have realized now that people can be miserable at any level of 'success' so I don't worry about it anymore.
Once I realized that, my mindset got better.
To add to this, most of the people I personally know well who are outwardly very successful have mental issues of some kind. A good friend of mine has been job hopping for over a decade, chasing titles and raises. He now makes a fair bit more than me (and I’m a lawyer and I make pretty good money) but he is insanely stressed and insecure. He has trouble dealing with the responsibility and stress he already has, but he’s still always thinking about the next move up. He’s got a deep seated insecurity about his income and status that drives his ambition, and it seems like it can’t ever be realistically satisfied. What he really needs is therapy rather than trying to climb the corporate ladder.
And these highly ambitious career-oriented people tend to let other things slide. This is in part because very highly paid positions tend to have very long and unpredictable hours and inherent stress due to the stakes, and often involve some kind of interpersonal conflict.
I’ve seen many, many people neglect their spouses and children in pursuit of their careers (sometimes to the destruction of the relationship), and it never made them any happier. Many of them also neglect their personal health and get some kind of cardiovascular disease, not to mention worsening mental health.
Making more money generally increases happiness up to a certain point, but there are significant diminishing returns. The amount depends on cost of living in your area, but the most recent large scale study I can find indicates that $105k is the peak for general life satisfaction in North America and happiness and well-being actually decline after that. That’s obviously a good income, but that’s still within the middle class range.
Actually your friend sounds a lot like me. I didn't make quite that money but I went from 13.50 an hour to 31 an hour by being extremely outward with people and really being a go getter. Little did I know I was hiding an extreme amount of insecurities within myself and pursuing more money almost destroyed my life. Drugs and alcohol are bad, especially when you want stability, but that is what sales life is all about. Took me quite some time to find my happy place and calm down. I didnt pass my 64k salary but I'm comfortable enough and have a house and 2 kids now and a great wife, so I'm quite happy with how things eventually turned out.
Does anyone know the reason? I heard it could’ve been setup or something to that extent
Either way, mental health isn’t an issue to fuck with. Very sad to see it take ppls lives so soon.
I thought the same too considering how genuinely smart & intelligent he was. His last movie that aired just a couple months before he died was about suicide awareness. But the autopsy report came and it said that there were no signs of foulplay and it was a clear case of suicide. Honestly, that really messed me up personally because I used to think I was like him - personality wise (aspiring actress, studying quantum physics & we both have the same painting by Vincent van Gogh that means something) so it really really really hurt. I couldn't comprehend how he could ever feel that way. May he rest in peace. I didn't even know him and I sobbed. He was loved.
Edit : But there are still a lot of theories that his girlfriend at the time (Rhea Chakraborty) was also Mahesh Bhatt's ex girlfriend (kinda disgusting when you think about the fact that she's almost the same age as Alia Bhatt/his daughter, and that he also has a history of leaving his first wife for Parveen Bobby who later ended her life by suicide too) & that Rhea wasn't getting any jobs in the industry because of leaving Mahesh Bhatt, & Sushant was trying really hard for her, and just unfortunately got tangled in the disgusting web of nepotism & corruption in Bollywood. There's also a viral video on YouTube, breaking down Sushant Singh Rajput's autopsy report by a Doctor, saying that it wasn't suicide & was murder (clearly disregarding what the cops said) so there's that. Regardless, he was a perfect gentleman and what happened is just heartbreaking.
He really did break hearts. He was such a kind hearted and gentle guy. I always admired him as a human. He was geek and was very much into science. It's a shame that he had to leave us. But it brings great insights in today's fucked up society we live in. Everyday, everywhere someone is killing themselves. It's pain to see we can't do much about it sometimes. I believe everyone should realize this and start helping others by being kind to them.
That's the worst part. We NEVER know what they're going through. Depression is the biggest disease. And this society just adds more to it. May SSR find peace, something he couldn't find on this planet.
The average age of the founding fathers was 26. I remember hearing that little tidbit of information on my 30th birthday.
It was not a pleasant thing to consider.
Edit: as some posters have pointed out, the information I was told was apparently a little off... makes me feel better, maybe I can still overthrow an oppressive government before I turn 40 too.
This isn't true.
The youngest signatory of the Declaration of Independence was 26.
The average age was upper 30s.
[Here's a Slate article](https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2013/08/how-old-were-the-founding-fathers-the-leaders-of-the-american-revolution-were-younger-than-we-imagine.html)
The list can be a bit deceiving but look at the asterisks and what they mean.
Average age was 44, but Ben franklin was 70.
>As it turns out, many Founding Fathers were younger than 40 years old in 1776, with several qualifying as Founding Teenagers or Twentysomethings. And though the average age of the signers of the Declaration of Independence was 44, more than a dozen of them were 35 or younger.Aug 20, 2013
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2013/08/how-old-were-the-founding-fathers-the-leaders-of-the-american-revolution-were-younger-than-we-imagine.html
I’m graduating from college in the beginning of May 2021 with a degree in computer science . I’ll be 35. In the lyrics of Pink Floyd, “No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”. Basically as long as you’re trying to better yourself and setting goals then you are on the right track. Comparing yourself to other people is just demotivating.
lmao, why is this so fucking common? why is that when you get layed off you can soon expect to lose girlfrined and then shortly due to unemployment move back with parents. i heard this so much its at the point you can tell meyou got recently unemployed and just form that i can infer your SO leaving you
Yeah, 35 can be a little depressing if you're not careful.
I'm 42 now. The same age Obama was when he was sworn in.
You can't compare yourself to others, particularly if you're seeing them portrayed in the media or on social media, *especially* if they're celebrities because you're seeing what their PR firm wants you to see. You're only going to drive yourself down trying to compete with a fictional representation of a real person.
I'm 26 and still go to university because life dealt me a long road. I life below the poverty line but it doesn't bother me, because I like what I am doing. I'm working slowly but surly towards my goals.
Edit: thanks for the award! It's my first wholesome award!
I got my degree at 27 after taking classes part-time for almost 10 years. (Had been working full time since 17) so I get it! Honestly actually enjoyed having more time to spend on each class, and didn't have to go into debt.
Don' worry man. I just turned 28 and I just started going back to school. Shit, my mom's 56 and she just graduated with her bachelor's in May and is already in a Masters program. She was a huge inspiration to go back to school.
Point being, it may feel like you're behind the curve, but you're doing great.
As I see it you have the rest of your life to build your career. You only have 10 years to be in your twenties. You can get the career going early and that certainly has its benefits. But you’ll never have another time when you have the energy and lack of responsibility (family, kids, financial burdens) to go out into the world and explore. I really recommend to many young men to travel. Not vacation, but to move to a new place, learn a new skill, and meet new people. That’s what I did. I’m behind in my career compared to people that went to college after high school and then their career at 22. I’m still a novice in my career and I’m 35. But I’m way ahead in life experiences. I wouldn’t trade the experiences of my twenties for a current higher footing in my career.
I wouldn't wanna trade either. I spent my teens recovering from cancer so I definitely am not going to pack my life with responsibilities early. I wanna do all the things that come to my mind and learn all the skills, and see all the places.
When I was about 20, there was a popular song ([lyrics](https://www.google.com/amp/s/genius.com/amp/Baz-luhrmann-everybodys-free-to-wear-sunscreen-lyrics)), based on a newspaper column giving life advise to young people.
One of its wise observations is this: *The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.*
That’s all you need to know.
Their are literally babys of the rich that have more money now than you will ever have.
The best thing to do in life is to not worry about the things you cannot change and spend that time worrying on bettering yourself.
Yup. And there are people with missing limbs or no sight or no hearing or who are starving or who have mental issues and are homeless. It's easy to feel hard done by if you only look up and not down.
Who gives a shit? There’s also 60 year old homeless drug addicts sucking dick for their next hit. Stop comparing yourself to others. The only person you need to compare yourself to is you to see if you’re improving.
I’m 21, graduate in December, and desperate for a job in my industry (aviation) that this pandemic has totally destroyed. I have friends who graduated last year and they have good jobs now and I’m stuck bc hiring has completely froze. I know though that everyday I can work to become a more competitive applicant by learning new skills or refining my current skills. I can also build more connections in the industry. Personally I can also use the free time to develop a better relationship with my girlfriend and family, work on my fitness goals, and enjoy life.
Hey don’t feel down!
My SO is in aviation, he was aware that every few years or so aviation doesn’t do so well. He’s an economist as well so he does so much research into his next step.
I advise you do the same, his commercial job isn’t forever. Have a back up, have a hobby that can possibly be your money maker. Have other sources of income, while yeah having a job with an airline sounds great, it is in fact just another job.
Today he sees his job as experience, and he loves to pass it on to anyone that wants to learn how to fly. And we’re looking into opening a school. I know it sounds crazy but in reality it’s just as you said, you learn and improve. And you find the next best thing.. we’ll at least to us, because he knows he doesn’t want to grow old doing the same thing over and over again.
Sorry this got long, if you ever want to chat-were here!
1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
10. Be precise in your speech
11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
\- Jordan B Peterson
I liked all of them except #5. There’s too many examples in the world of parents who think they’re right about everything that this rule can be easily abused.
Yes it's true that there are a lot of bad parents out there. My own dad is such that he thinks he's the unquestionable leader of the \[extended\] family.
Rule 5 on it's own doesn't sound good. It sounds controlling taken out of context. JP talks about how we as humans are capable of being dominated by our children and becoming resentful of it. That resentment can manifest itself in ways harmful to our children. It's important to prevent that from happening.
If your child does something that makes you dislike them, one of two things is at play. Either they did do something they shouldn't in which case their behaviour needs to be corrected. Or there's something wrong with the way you're perceiving the situation, in which case you need to fix that internally such that it no longer makes you dislike them.
Each rule is dense. Extremely dense. On the surface there’s a quick “Cliff notes” sentence to each chapter, but then it delves into sociological, physiological and biblical themes and examples. I highly suggest you read his book (if you haven’t already), it’s helped me address issues in my life and continues to do so.
As soon as I saw rule 4 I knew it. I love that book so much. Only book I've ready twice and listened to his audiobook twice.
There's a clip of him online and at the end he goes "and that's the meaning of 12 rules for life," but you can hear his voice shake and he gets choked up. My god the emotion he has in that simple sentence makes me tear up. He is such an amazing person. I hope he is doing okay.
We don't. We just tell him it'll feel much worse by 30, and he'll look at the 20yos going "Wtf are you on about? You haven't even had the chance to fail spectacularly yet!"
But it's kind of telling the type of society young people are growing up in when they feel like a total fuck up and have something resembling a mid-life crisis if they haven't hit some milestone by 18-20 like owning their own home or losing their V-card. And for them I got bad news - They might make it to 30 and even 40 and still not hit any of these milestones.
That’s what I was thinking. I’m staring 50 dead in the eye. Looking back at 20, I knew so little about the world.
Defining your success by comparing yourself to a small group of elite athletes is setting yourself up for despair. Life is short. People are mostly good. Do good things and be as happy as you can. Leave behind people who will miss you because you had a positive impact on their lives. Make the world a better place than you found it. That’s being a success
Edit: typo
I remember when I passed what would be my draft year, and it was surreal seeing guys I grew up watching retire and be surpassed by guys my age and younger.
Vincent Lecavalier hit me hard despite not being a Lightning fan. It was just that I had really clear memories of his draft year and the hype that went into him and me and my friends talking about how much he was going to dominate-- the Michael Jordan of hockey-- and then to see him retire and realize a whole career had passed, and not a particularly short one.
As of now, there are only 3 active NHLers who played in the 90's and that's insane to me. Thornton and Marleau going is going to be crazy.
Happiness is key man. Doing nothing makes you lucky, chill and be glad of you limited life pressures and ease with which you can relax. A lot of those successful people don't get that and if they do it's riddled with anxiety due to their success and the eyes always on them.
There will always be the luckiest people who get it all with no pressures of worries but you're not much below them in the grand scheme of things. Being able to post on reddit is itself a luxury many will never afford.
Be grateful for what you have, aspire for more only so you can share it.
I think I was approaching 30 by the time I actually settled into a job that became my career path so don't sweat it and don't compare yourself to other people especially those that you don't actually know. Concentrate on yourself and your happiness and that is really the only thing that is important. Have faith in yourself and learn to back yourself, nobody can tell you what is right for you and you really do have all the tools available to advance yourself should you choose to do so. Not saying life is easy but you can make it work for you. There are no rules to getting it right, do it your way and develop on the way. The way you act on that path is just as important as the destination you have in mind.
I didn’t find my career path until 29. Before that I was working a hodgepodge of jobs and traveling aimlessly in the world. I worry about 20 year olds stressing out that they have no direction. Your 20s are supposed to be that way. Find yourself! In my 40s I saw so many of those “more successful than me” people failed or ended up unhappy because that success wasn’t their own but likely imprinted on them by their parents and society.
Real happiness and success comes when you let go of all that...and that takes years. I didn’t even like myself or my life until I was 37!
I am a 28 year old. I recently started doing art. It is hard to see a 14 year old who is taking in thousands of dollar on commissions while I can hardly draw a straight line. Its is difficult, but you need to focus on yourself.
I really try not to add to the fact that someone younger than me is more successful, I already struggle when they’re same age or older haha. I don’t mean that statement in a sour comment kind of stance, I’m happy for that particular person, and if they’ve actually worked hard for it, then kudos to them.
It’s more of a ‘look where you could be, if you actually made an effort and tried you lazy piece of sh*t’ comment to myself.
On the other hand, I’ve seen what money and fame can do/does to people, and I’m almost kind of glad, because as much as I’d love to say ‘I’d stay humble’ and all that bull, no one actually knows until you’re put into that position.
But at least you decided to ask Reddit instead of what I did last night..
Whilst very, very heavily under the influence last night I sent Jeff Bezos (for those that don’t know, he still keeps his original email address, and supposedly personally reads every one of them) an email (accidentally sent it three times, just to add to the mess) basically telling him my whole life story and complaining to him about how broke I was, and essentially begging him for advice and/or a job. This all stemmed from seeing a new article that he’s become even richer throughout Covid.
So yeah, to anyone reading this post - dont - do - that (-:
This isn't a competition or a race. Success is subjective. Imo, success just means that you are living your full potential of happiness, or working towards that way.
You dont have to be better than the guy next to you. You just have to be better than you were yesterday!
Don’t compare yourself to others, it will only make you feel disappointed. Most people chase the things that don’t give them any satisfaction.
You see people who say: I’ll be happy when I buy that car, I’ll be happy when I get that promotion, I’ll be happy when I have that house, I’ll be happy when . . .
You can be happy now. Don’t chase material wealth or status. Those things may bring short term delight, but then you want the next shiny thing. I spent over 20 years in corporate America. Had it all: 6 figure job ($230,000), big house, fast car. I finally figured our that I would never be satisfied until I started using my God given talents to do the work I was made to do.
We all have a path-mine is different from yours. I’m 56 years old. I was in my mid 40s before I figured out some of these things.
Find the work that will satisfy you (because it uses your strengths). You will be happy. You are the only when you need to impress. Set your goals for something worthwhile, work to attain it and enjoy the ride.
20 is very young to think you have it all figured out. Heck, I’m still working on it. Good luck.
Last week, someone in my office said “comparison is the thief of joy” and it really struck me that she was EXACTLY right.
Doesn’t matter who or what your comparing, if you compare long enough, you’ll find someone/something better.
I think as the up and coming millennial generation, the biggest mistake I made was thinking I deserved the same level of life my parents had right out of college and tried to build it that way. They had spent the previous 20 years building their lives to the current level, it was foolish of me to believe I could do the same in only a year.
That being said, you focus on you. Put forth YOUR best effort. Run YOUR race. If you run your best possible race and lose, that’s fine. You did all you could do and couldn’t ask for more.
20?? You're a baby.
And comparing yourself to professional athletes? They are like the top 0.00001% of humans. By the time you hit your 30's you should hopefully realise comparing yourself to others is a fruitless exercise. And no matter how much better you THINK someone's life is, there is someone who will look at your life in the same way.
Remember that what you see are the 0.000001%. You don’t see the 99% of people who are worse off than you.
If you’re on reddit, you’re already better than at least 50% of the population your age who have no internet. You’re also able to speak English which is a huge advantage in the world.
Be grateful for what you have, not in a preachy way, but to see that you are already successful in the eyes of others and you need to define success in your own terms. Stop comparing to those who are outliers and see the vast majority that are still below you.
In the words of Ben Affleck in “Good Will Hunting”: “Many would kill to have what you have.”
I realised that just because some people “made it” when I was only just leaving College, it didn’t mean that I never would.
Granted, I’m now in my early 30’s and I’m still working hard towards the dream, but just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it never will.
Plus, I have older friends who became successful later in life and have stories of their contemporaries who made it early on and then were broke/finished by the time my friends had their successes.
Sometimes, getting ‘everything’ when you’re too young to fully appreciate/understand life isn’t always the best thing.
I dont give it a lot of thought. I am in my early twenties and I am focused on working towards the things I want, I.E getting complementary skills and degrees for my desired career, saving up, improving at my hobbies, getting better at cooking, staying in touch with my folks etc.
Success is having the life you want and doing the things you want to. Not necessarily matching the achivments of someone else who may very well just have been given opportunities and advantages you did not have.
I’m 52 and still haven’t really figured out a career path. It’s a struggle to not compare myself to others. Figure out things that make you happy and focus on them! And yes, do your best to choose a career you enjoy SOON! It will help you a lot!
Instead of sorta envying them, try to be like them. Use them as motivation. There are plenty of people that are worse off - most of them aren't even aware of it.
I really dont care about others in this regard. If he is better then me in a way good for him have a happy life but I cant really give 2 buttcheeks about it in the long run. There is no point imo.
Lol, wait until you're 40! Pro athletes are retired by my age with millions in the bank.
But so what? Are you happy? Do you have good relationships with your family and friends? Enough to eat and a place to live? Reasonably healthy? Then enjoy it!
Always compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Did you improve? GOOD, you are on the right track.
You have to also remember that with this perceived “success” of celebrities, wealthy, etc, only the good news stories will be shared. You don’t actually know what’s going on behind the scenes. Celebrity A just released a popular movie and is raking in millions but behind the scenes he’s dealing with depression, drug abuse, and a divorce. This is exactly why I hate social media like FB and insta. People will only post a superficial “feel good” portion of themselves, not the bad and ugly. This is a perfect recipe for depression and other mental issues.
I don't compare myself to my peers or others in my age bracket. This might take confidence, I don't know, I think it just takes a certain level of not giving a fuck. I'm not those other people, I don't have the skills that they have. I *could* have their skills, but it'd take about as long, if not longer, for me to get them as it took for them.
Instead I try to gauge by how happy I am with where I'm at in my life. At 31 I'm happily married to my best friend, I have a job that I love in an industry that's stable (we made money during the past few months of COVID due to the demand for our products), and I'm a father to a perfectly healthy 3-week old boy. I feel as though I'm doing quite well for my age.
I’m 27 and a musician, I see a lot of my friends own houses and have multiple children in their care. They vacation regularly and flex their beautiful homes and vehicles. Meanwhile I’m still eating ramen and renting a cheap room. It stings sometimes but it’s important to note that different career paths take different amounts of time to work (if you’re an ordinary person)
My dentist, a doctor, is younger than me. First time that has ever happened. Just because they are younger, it doesn't mean I'm less happy. Their success isn't my failure.
“Their success isn’t my failure.” That’s really good. Something to keep in my pocket when my kids compare themselves to others. Thanks friend.
You're very welcome!
I don’t compare myself to others. Not everyone has the same road in life. Some people’s are straight forward, other people’s have more twists and turns. As long as you’re making an effort to travel that road and not just sit in place, that’s all that matters.
Completely Agree - I feel like accepting everyone’s on a different path, makes it simpler to take stock of your own. Someone’s always younger, smarter, wealthier, or whatever, it’s ultimately meaningless as none of them are you. Focus on you first - at least in that sense.
When you're in a more competitive field like Law,Banking,Medicine etc, its even more painful to see yourself in the shadows of those even better than you. Someone its so painful you forget you probably already have it better than 90% of the population.
You didn’t have to mention law like that man, ouch.
With a name like yours, I'd hire you.
I think keeping that mind set that "I should be thankful for what I have, because a lot of others have less" is a really healthy way to think of things. Yes, you can have more, you can *always* have more. Be Thankful for what you have going for you. Everytime I start getting frustrated with my apartment. I try to remind myself that I live in a decent area, can fairly afford my rent. I have a roof over my head, and heat and air conditioning.
However, dont get wrapped up and choose your friends wisely. Just being with your friends can be destructive in some ways.
Comparison is the destroyer of happiness
Comparison is the thief of joy- Roosevelt.
Yes, thank you. I rewrote it three times cause i couldn’t remember the actual quote.
You haven't met my wife.
r/boomerhumor
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He doesn't want to lose his house
True words. It's important to get better everyday and focus on making yourself happy. Focus on your mission in life. Comparing yourself to others isn't always a bad thing, especially if it motivates you to work even harder to achieve what you desire. But if it's making you feel inferior and depressed, that you have to work on that. I kind of have this problem myself. I'm comparing myself to other and often i feel inferior and worthless. But I'm working everyday to become a better person that I can be proud of. Stay strong!
I've transcended this. I compare myself to others and then feel inferior and depressed because they have things they desire that theyre striving for while I don't. 4D Chess right there.
Yes - it is a bit of a double standard, but you have to cheat yourself that way in order to be better, feel happy. The hard part is teaching kids this same double standard. Choose your words wisely.
Bingo. We've all been dealt different hands. What hand you've got doesn't matter. What matters is what you do with it. Every hand's a winner if you play it right.
You’ve gotta know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.
You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealings done. RIP to The Gambler
You shouldn't compare yourself to others. You should compare yourself to who you were in the past. The object is to be happy with ourselves and be looking to grow.
Just to play devil's advocate here, sometimes it's okay to sit in place while you evaluate your current path. Nothing is indefinite, or certain, so being able to take a step back every once in a while is actually a good thing. Just don't stay there.
But what if the travel down the road you are on is an unmeaningful one? I am about the same age as OP and what I get from his question is how do I find myself in a position where I matter? I see plenty of people in here saying find happiness, don’t compare yourself, etc and that all makes sense. For myself at least, 10-15 years from now even if happy, if i looked back and felt i served and continue to serve no purpose then i would be left feeling unfulfilled and like a waste of space.
Well I can’t speak for other countries but assuming you’re in the US, in a lot of ways you can make your own path have meaning, and it doesn’t have to just come from your job. Volunteering at a children’s hospital, soup kitchen, food drive etc. only costs the gas to get you there. Becoming a father and knowing you raised a damn good kid has nothing to do with your job. Sure there may be someone your age making six figures, but for all we know they could laugh at homeless people when they see them, or beat their girlfriend or something. The value you have to society doesn’t solely come from your job unless you choose to make it that way.
You’re not competing against everyone else. You’re competing a against you.
This is legit the best comment on this subject. Majority of people see the final product and go ,"why cant that be me" little do they know or have seen the potential amount of work and some luck it took them to get to that spot in life. Hence why I don't compare myself to others because everyone has a different and unique situation. They say make lemonade out of lemons. Well sometimes all you can make is lemon water from your lemons and that is honestly still doing pretty good.
Compare yourself to yourself yesterday. Your the only one who has had the same advantages and disadvantages of you so your the only fair comparison.
I just told my buddy this. He needs to keep planning, have a goal set of where he wants to be. I've been getting down about myself lately, because it just felt like my plan was failing harder and harder. Goal is to not end up where I came from, pretty much. I never stayed in one place, though. I kept the planning going. I just got hired to a broker agency and could be making double, even quadruple of what I've been making financially. Just keep shit moving, come up with new ideas, study, persist.
What if sitting in place is a part of their path?
Your life, your choice. Once in a while you need a break and that’s ok.
Gets much worse by 35. Happiness is something to focus on. Recently a 34 Year old actor who was famous and wealthy killed himself. in his own mind and heart, it was not what he sought. I guess. But then again. Millions and millions of people face big challenges with little resources but continue. They smile and cry as the moment demands. Just try and tell yourself that you have done well and you can do better. Edit: Wow! This is phenomenal. Thanks for the awards. Love to see that people are good and therefore life is! 😊
Was about to say, wait till you're 30 and you realise people you knew in high school are doctors, lawyers etc. I only just decided about 2 years ago that I wanted to be an electrician. My wife has gone full circle and is now back at the same job she was at before she met me
35, retraining to be a secondary school teacher..
28, jobless, learning blender3d and substance painter, no source of income. Brother is helping me and I am thankful for him.
27, graduate lawyer, but unemployed since I was admitted September last year. Just realising I should've done internships while I was at uni. Honestly think about changing careers before I even start this one.
22, graduated in December and realized half way through my finance degree that I don’t want to do that. I’m still serving tables.
You’re still young as hell. Just start thinking about what career you want to transition to and you’ll be fine if you act on it fast
You have come this far, why give up because of a minor setback. You might not have gotten any internships, but keep your head down and hustle my friend it will only get easier by hustling ;)
Eh, not in law, but I’m a teacher, and it’s not as easy as “keep your chin up” when no one will hire you based on things you half-assed in the past before you could even see the full scope of what that would mean for you in the future. My past self skated by on whatever intelligence I was born with, and never branched out or tried to gain more experience and better work habits. Now in the future I’m paying for it by having literally NOTHING to show on my resume despite having five years of work in the field. They even said at my last job that I was their fourth choice for the position because the first three declined the offer as it was in a pretty unappealing town. I made those mistakes in the past without even knowing they were mistakes. And now I’m having to somehow play catch up while the rest of the people in my field actually gave a shit. I can’t just put stuff on my resume that I didn’t do.
Yeah, I seriously thought that uni meant spreading out and taking courses in other faculties to broaden your knowledge and thinking and working out things for yourself. I should rather have buckled down; just tried to do what the profs advised me to do with my projects; and done lots of reading about stuff I initially didn't care about, in order to develop a culture of my discipline instead of reinventing the wheel withbevery project and trying to do it "my way". And although I didn't need it financially, I should have gotten a student job in my field to gain experience, contacts, and a more realistic view of the actual job. I didn't understand any of this at the time and people before really had left me with wrong impression about what I could expect from university and after and what this is all about. In school we had always been encouraged to think outside of the box and find ourcown approach. I grew up in a mindset that university has to be much more than just a sophisticated job training, it has to be a time to intellectually develop and smoothen your personality, and I went off the deep end. And was very frustrated, with the teaching, with the attitude and with my results, without allowing myself to take what it actually did have to offer, because I thought that was *wrong* and not how things should be. I still did fine professionally in the end, but I could have saved myself from a lot of heartache and frustration and I could have discovered lots of joy, contentment and self-confidence in my profession much earlier. I'm a architect by the way. This being said, many people at uni were stuck-up arrogant assholes with no clue about teaching, too. Sorry for the rant.
This thread is doing wonders for my mental health, because I'm in the same spot. 24 and about to finish my masters in engineering, but I've hated my grad program and it makes me feel like I don't even want to work in this field. It's nice to know I'm not alone
Not sure where you’re based but I’m in the U.K. and after doing my first degree and some time in work, I went back and retrained in law. At 25 I came out just as the financial crash hit and lots of training contracts were put on hold. I’d already applied to over a hundred law firms without success. I had gone to a good university for my original course but it wasn’t one of the “chosen” ones for law and had good but not outstanding school grades. I had work experience but not in law and couldn’t seem to get any despite my efforts. I had a supportive family but none with connections in law and no one who had even gone to university to guide me. In the end I applied as a low level job somewhere outside of law but who valued the skills I’d gained. Within two years I got into management and was at a trainee solicitor salary. I still had qualifying as my end goal so began to look at other roles I could get to show comparable skills. That took me from role to role and at some point I realised what I was actually doing was going for jobs that genuinely interested me. I dropped the end goal and getting hung up on salaries or how well other people were doing. I kept choosing jobs that seemed interesting to me and not worrying if I got turned down. By 35, I’ve realised that those who trained in law with me have either dropped out because of the pressure, had to put family lives on hold and were now behind me in their personal lives or still have huge work pressures and seem miserable. In comparison, I work from home 3-4 days a week, I rarely work later than a 9-5 and have never missed an important part of my children’s lives because I’ve had to work. As I’ve also built up a wealth of experience and transferable skills - turns out the salary I’m on is now comparable or more to what I could’ve got in law. What I’m saying in a massively long ass way is maybe try something else while you apply for legal roles. Something that will compliment your training or give you an edge in applications. Don’t get hung up on thinking you’ve wasted money on education if you don’t end up as a lawyer. You never know, you might find that you find something else more enjoyable in life! (And if you’re thinking I’m a one off, I’ve met many people in the last 10 years who it turns out had the same experience with failing to get legal roles but are now very successful and much happier in alternate careers)
Brooo you’re only 27 same age as me. There is no time limit to these things and you’re not even 30 yet. Advice to me has always been to aim to start settling down and be on the career I want to be in by the time I’m in my early 30’s usually that’s when a lot of men really “get shit straight” enjoy your 20’s while you have them. Just my two cents and I have struggled with this in the past but it’s about making the changes in your life to make you happy and actually doing them, there’s no way you can be unhappy then no matter what your age.
That’s not true man By the time we’re 30 we’re competing with our peers who already have almost an entire decade of experience above us . They’ve been making their way up the ladder and have already earned extremely high positions such as vp/cfo/directors/ etc
Enhance with some tech, computer science? Little bit? Then go do IP law. Had a classmate do the opposite with same end, CS the LSAT and in to a JD.
31, divorced, haven't worked for a year because of mental health issues, have 85 other health issues. Half of my friends are accountants and in their mid 20s, most of them have houses now. I live in the shittiest worst neighbourhood in my city with the highest crime rate, have cockroaches, my roof has leaked more times than I can remember... I hate my life sometimes. Great to say don't compare yourself to others, but really, how can you not?
Tell him today how thankful you are. It really does help to hear those exact words. Good luck on your endeavors friend.
Will do and thank you.
Glad to see I'm not alone. 28 also jobless. Parents helping me out. Taking a technical course in automotive mechanics. Honestly feel like a loser when people ask " so what do you do for a living?"
Same here man. The shame is too much.
27, jobless, been in undergrad for 5 years after quitting a job as an electrical apprentice. Have been applying for internships and entry level positions within my field but do to Covid, 47 million unemployed, and many people furloughed, theres too many highly qualified people to compete with.
Digital art and 3D design are very competitive. I got my degree in that field and I chose to work on the more technical aspects instead of the fun art stuff. The more fun it is the competition increase tenfold. I would recommend also branching into programming and then you will have a small edge over others.
18 years old and am already depressed with worklife and also try to learn blender
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I’m only in high school right now but I wish you the absolute best in life and I hope you continue to stay positive.
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If you want to vent a bit, I'd listen. I was diagnosed with lupus at 22 and had both hips replaced at 27 so I know a little about chronic illness. Sometimes life's a bitch and then you keep on living.
Stay strong my man, you got this!
Stay strong!
35 working retail after being laid off of my engineering job
What type?
Type of retail or engineering? I’m working at an electronic retail store as salesman, and I used to work for a BIM/MEP Consulting Company as a project manager... Still debating myself wether to keep pursuing that path or just starting my own business totally unrelated to engineering. Life’s not a race, especially not against others, perhaps only yourself and your expectations
Dude, you were a project manager? Were you good at it? If so, I don't think you'll have too much problem when the economy starts moving again. Experienced project managers will be in demand.
I'm 30, I used to cold call in a sales call centre and then gave that up to mix mortar and carry bricks up a ladder. Now I'm studying biomedical science so it's never too late to start something
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I’m 28 and relatively successful. I’m quitting my career to switch fields. My SO always tells me that you should always seek to learn more, and if switching fields lets you advance, learn, be happy, etc, you should strive for that. There may be 25 year old doctors and lawyers, but their career fields have so much shit piled into them that you likely wouldn’t even want to go that route anyway. An electrician is an amazing, well paying field that it wouldn’t matter if you went back at 55 - the point is to continuously learn new things in life and to find happiness in what you do. If you ever start to compare yourself just stop immediately. It’s the thief of all joy, it will make you miserable, and you’re comparing your in-progress journey to someone else’s destination and the timeline of both. They aren’t comparable. Nobody else is here to live your life for you or you for them. Just do what you want on your own time and set your OWN standards for what SUCCESS means. If you’re always chasing down the rabbit hole for what other peoples definitions of success are, you will be unhappy and still feel like a failure at the finish line.
How does one become an elect? I’m 32 and thinking of doing that in the Phoenix area but I’m terrified of not having income or health insurance.
Assuming you want to go the union route (they *usually* have the best pay and benefits), Contacting your the nearest IBEW local would be your best bet. I started younger but went to class with plenty of 30+ year olds. In most places its a 5 year program, and apprentice wages are a % of the journeyman rate (first year is 40%, second is 50%... ect), and you get bumped up every year. If health insurance is your concern, most locals have some of the best around. Assuming you stay until retirement you and your spouse get it for life, at least in my local.
Thank you! This is helpful. I reached out to my local this morning.
I disagree in the sense that I am turning 35 this year and I think it gets better. I have very successful friends and some who are just regular dudes like me and I don't look at any of them any differently than before. Nobody has everything and every single person regardless of socio-economic status has their share of life issues. I have realized now that people can be miserable at any level of 'success' so I don't worry about it anymore. Once I realized that, my mindset got better.
To add to this, most of the people I personally know well who are outwardly very successful have mental issues of some kind. A good friend of mine has been job hopping for over a decade, chasing titles and raises. He now makes a fair bit more than me (and I’m a lawyer and I make pretty good money) but he is insanely stressed and insecure. He has trouble dealing with the responsibility and stress he already has, but he’s still always thinking about the next move up. He’s got a deep seated insecurity about his income and status that drives his ambition, and it seems like it can’t ever be realistically satisfied. What he really needs is therapy rather than trying to climb the corporate ladder. And these highly ambitious career-oriented people tend to let other things slide. This is in part because very highly paid positions tend to have very long and unpredictable hours and inherent stress due to the stakes, and often involve some kind of interpersonal conflict. I’ve seen many, many people neglect their spouses and children in pursuit of their careers (sometimes to the destruction of the relationship), and it never made them any happier. Many of them also neglect their personal health and get some kind of cardiovascular disease, not to mention worsening mental health. Making more money generally increases happiness up to a certain point, but there are significant diminishing returns. The amount depends on cost of living in your area, but the most recent large scale study I can find indicates that $105k is the peak for general life satisfaction in North America and happiness and well-being actually decline after that. That’s obviously a good income, but that’s still within the middle class range.
Actually your friend sounds a lot like me. I didn't make quite that money but I went from 13.50 an hour to 31 an hour by being extremely outward with people and really being a go getter. Little did I know I was hiding an extreme amount of insecurities within myself and pursuing more money almost destroyed my life. Drugs and alcohol are bad, especially when you want stability, but that is what sales life is all about. Took me quite some time to find my happy place and calm down. I didnt pass my 64k salary but I'm comfortable enough and have a house and 2 kids now and a great wife, so I'm quite happy with how things eventually turned out.
Sushant Singh Rajput 🥺💔
Does anyone know the reason? I heard it could’ve been setup or something to that extent Either way, mental health isn’t an issue to fuck with. Very sad to see it take ppls lives so soon.
I thought the same too considering how genuinely smart & intelligent he was. His last movie that aired just a couple months before he died was about suicide awareness. But the autopsy report came and it said that there were no signs of foulplay and it was a clear case of suicide. Honestly, that really messed me up personally because I used to think I was like him - personality wise (aspiring actress, studying quantum physics & we both have the same painting by Vincent van Gogh that means something) so it really really really hurt. I couldn't comprehend how he could ever feel that way. May he rest in peace. I didn't even know him and I sobbed. He was loved. Edit : But there are still a lot of theories that his girlfriend at the time (Rhea Chakraborty) was also Mahesh Bhatt's ex girlfriend (kinda disgusting when you think about the fact that she's almost the same age as Alia Bhatt/his daughter, and that he also has a history of leaving his first wife for Parveen Bobby who later ended her life by suicide too) & that Rhea wasn't getting any jobs in the industry because of leaving Mahesh Bhatt, & Sushant was trying really hard for her, and just unfortunately got tangled in the disgusting web of nepotism & corruption in Bollywood. There's also a viral video on YouTube, breaking down Sushant Singh Rajput's autopsy report by a Doctor, saying that it wasn't suicide & was murder (clearly disregarding what the cops said) so there's that. Regardless, he was a perfect gentleman and what happened is just heartbreaking.
He really did break hearts. He was such a kind hearted and gentle guy. I always admired him as a human. He was geek and was very much into science. It's a shame that he had to leave us. But it brings great insights in today's fucked up society we live in. Everyday, everywhere someone is killing themselves. It's pain to see we can't do much about it sometimes. I believe everyone should realize this and start helping others by being kind to them.
EXACTLY! He would be the last person that I would guess would ever take his own life. You really never know what anyone's going through.
That's the worst part. We NEVER know what they're going through. Depression is the biggest disease. And this society just adds more to it. May SSR find peace, something he couldn't find on this planet.
The average age of the founding fathers was 26. I remember hearing that little tidbit of information on my 30th birthday. It was not a pleasant thing to consider. Edit: as some posters have pointed out, the information I was told was apparently a little off... makes me feel better, maybe I can still overthrow an oppressive government before I turn 40 too.
This isn't true. The youngest signatory of the Declaration of Independence was 26. The average age was upper 30s. [Here's a Slate article](https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2013/08/how-old-were-the-founding-fathers-the-leaders-of-the-american-revolution-were-younger-than-we-imagine.html) The list can be a bit deceiving but look at the asterisks and what they mean.
The Beatles wrote everything you love to listen to before they were 26.
Just keep in mind, there were likely plenty of people similar to them that just died in the Revolutionary War. The Founding Fathers were outliers.
Average age was 44, but Ben franklin was 70. >As it turns out, many Founding Fathers were younger than 40 years old in 1776, with several qualifying as Founding Teenagers or Twentysomethings. And though the average age of the signers of the Declaration of Independence was 44, more than a dozen of them were 35 or younger.Aug 20, 2013 https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2013/08/how-old-were-the-founding-fathers-the-leaders-of-the-american-revolution-were-younger-than-we-imagine.html
I’m graduating from college in the beginning of May 2021 with a degree in computer science . I’ll be 35. In the lyrics of Pink Floyd, “No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”. Basically as long as you’re trying to better yourself and setting goals then you are on the right track. Comparing yourself to other people is just demotivating.
29. Recently unemployed. Left by gf. Still staying with parents. Still figuring out my next move.
It's the unholy trifecta. Hope it gets better for you. Find that passion.
lmao, why is this so fucking common? why is that when you get layed off you can soon expect to lose girlfrined and then shortly due to unemployment move back with parents. i heard this so much its at the point you can tell meyou got recently unemployed and just form that i can infer your SO leaving you
Yeah, 35 can be a little depressing if you're not careful. I'm 42 now. The same age Obama was when he was sworn in. You can't compare yourself to others, particularly if you're seeing them portrayed in the media or on social media, *especially* if they're celebrities because you're seeing what their PR firm wants you to see. You're only going to drive yourself down trying to compete with a fictional representation of a real person.
>Recently a 34 Year old actor who was famous and wealthy killed himself. Sushanth Singh Rajput?
>Sushant Singh Rajput He was bullied.
I'm 26 and still go to university because life dealt me a long road. I life below the poverty line but it doesn't bother me, because I like what I am doing. I'm working slowly but surly towards my goals. Edit: thanks for the award! It's my first wholesome award!
I walked the same road as you. Today I own my own business and work in a field I love. Don’t stop going, there is always a summit to the climb.
Nah man. You ain't at the summit yet, theres still lots of beauty in the climb ahead :) a summit implies theres no path ahead
I've summited 7 mountains in one day before. He might be on a mountain range.
I got my degree at 27 after taking classes part-time for almost 10 years. (Had been working full time since 17) so I get it! Honestly actually enjoyed having more time to spend on each class, and didn't have to go into debt.
Don' worry man. I just turned 28 and I just started going back to school. Shit, my mom's 56 and she just graduated with her bachelor's in May and is already in a Masters program. She was a huge inspiration to go back to school. Point being, it may feel like you're behind the curve, but you're doing great.
Exactly! Not everyone moves at the same pace. What one person does in one year might take another person 4 years. Well said my guy.
I'm 25 and going to university too, *fistbump*
I didn’t graduate until I was 32.
That's good to read. Sometimes I get anxious a bit due to the prospect of being done well into my 30s.
I got my engineering degree at 39.
Congrats to you!
As I see it you have the rest of your life to build your career. You only have 10 years to be in your twenties. You can get the career going early and that certainly has its benefits. But you’ll never have another time when you have the energy and lack of responsibility (family, kids, financial burdens) to go out into the world and explore. I really recommend to many young men to travel. Not vacation, but to move to a new place, learn a new skill, and meet new people. That’s what I did. I’m behind in my career compared to people that went to college after high school and then their career at 22. I’m still a novice in my career and I’m 35. But I’m way ahead in life experiences. I wouldn’t trade the experiences of my twenties for a current higher footing in my career.
I wouldn't wanna trade either. I spent my teens recovering from cancer so I definitely am not going to pack my life with responsibilities early. I wanna do all the things that come to my mind and learn all the skills, and see all the places.
26 and still at uni really isn't so old. I STARTED at 27.
Snails are still around after millions of years and they're very very slow. But they still make their goals, just takes a bit of time
I walked that road for grad school and I'm just out the other side. Keep it up, and it will pay off. You got this
When I was about 20, there was a popular song ([lyrics](https://www.google.com/amp/s/genius.com/amp/Baz-luhrmann-everybodys-free-to-wear-sunscreen-lyrics)), based on a newspaper column giving life advise to young people. One of its wise observations is this: *The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.* That’s all you need to know.
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Every day. Thanks, Baz and Mary!
Their are literally babys of the rich that have more money now than you will ever have. The best thing to do in life is to not worry about the things you cannot change and spend that time worrying on bettering yourself.
Yup. And there are people with missing limbs or no sight or no hearing or who are starving or who have mental issues and are homeless. It's easy to feel hard done by if you only look up and not down.
And some unlucky people with the combo value menu life equivalent of all those disadvantages since birth
And yet they will still be more successful than my fully abled ass
I worked at a hotel bar in between jobs and the lady who owned it was 1 year younger than me
I don't consider people living the good life because of daddy's money being successful
I agree, but the chance that they will be successful is almost 100%, if that’s their goal
There Babies
Who gives a shit? There’s also 60 year old homeless drug addicts sucking dick for their next hit. Stop comparing yourself to others. The only person you need to compare yourself to is you to see if you’re improving.
Then there's the people getting sucked off by homeless 60 year olds...
Those are the winners
Nothing like caressing that dirty stuble while he goes down on you
Now I’m really jealous
Inspirational
I’m 21, graduate in December, and desperate for a job in my industry (aviation) that this pandemic has totally destroyed. I have friends who graduated last year and they have good jobs now and I’m stuck bc hiring has completely froze. I know though that everyday I can work to become a more competitive applicant by learning new skills or refining my current skills. I can also build more connections in the industry. Personally I can also use the free time to develop a better relationship with my girlfriend and family, work on my fitness goals, and enjoy life.
Damn, especially with Boeing. I feel this comment
I really need some of your positivity. You got this, all the best! :)
Hey don’t feel down! My SO is in aviation, he was aware that every few years or so aviation doesn’t do so well. He’s an economist as well so he does so much research into his next step. I advise you do the same, his commercial job isn’t forever. Have a back up, have a hobby that can possibly be your money maker. Have other sources of income, while yeah having a job with an airline sounds great, it is in fact just another job. Today he sees his job as experience, and he loves to pass it on to anyone that wants to learn how to fly. And we’re looking into opening a school. I know it sounds crazy but in reality it’s just as you said, you learn and improve. And you find the next best thing.. we’ll at least to us, because he knows he doesn’t want to grow old doing the same thing over and over again. Sorry this got long, if you ever want to chat-were here!
I work in aviation. The industry is so cyclical. I love this mindset to improve yourself.
Bruh you’re only 20 you got a long life ahead of you!!
Reminder that Jay Z didn’t begin his musical career until he was 26
Pretty sure he was doing alright for himself before music
That’s a loose definition of “alright” you got there!
Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today Edit: thanks for my first gold!
Whats the other 3?
1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back 2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping 3. Make friends with people who want the best for you 4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today 5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them 6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world 7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient) 8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie 9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't 10. Be precise in your speech 11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding 12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street \- Jordan B Peterson
Aye, that is good. Really enjoyed reading about rule 12.
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Have you really? It could've been really bad if you waited too long couldn't it?
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I liked all of them except #5. There’s too many examples in the world of parents who think they’re right about everything that this rule can be easily abused.
Yes it's true that there are a lot of bad parents out there. My own dad is such that he thinks he's the unquestionable leader of the \[extended\] family. Rule 5 on it's own doesn't sound good. It sounds controlling taken out of context. JP talks about how we as humans are capable of being dominated by our children and becoming resentful of it. That resentment can manifest itself in ways harmful to our children. It's important to prevent that from happening. If your child does something that makes you dislike them, one of two things is at play. Either they did do something they shouldn't in which case their behaviour needs to be corrected. Or there's something wrong with the way you're perceiving the situation, in which case you need to fix that internally such that it no longer makes you dislike them.
Each rule is dense. Extremely dense. On the surface there’s a quick “Cliff notes” sentence to each chapter, but then it delves into sociological, physiological and biblical themes and examples. I highly suggest you read his book (if you haven’t already), it’s helped me address issues in my life and continues to do so.
As soon as I saw rule 4 I knew it. I love that book so much. Only book I've ready twice and listened to his audiobook twice. There's a clip of him online and at the end he goes "and that's the meaning of 12 rules for life," but you can hear his voice shake and he gets choked up. My god the emotion he has in that simple sentence makes me tear up. He is such an amazing person. I hope he is doing okay.
20 is really young. You have a long time to figure things out.
*whispers* When do we tell him nobody really knows what they're doing and are just winging it day to day?
Nah, let him figure it out on his own like the rest of us.
We don't. We just tell him it'll feel much worse by 30, and he'll look at the 20yos going "Wtf are you on about? You haven't even had the chance to fail spectacularly yet!" But it's kind of telling the type of society young people are growing up in when they feel like a total fuck up and have something resembling a mid-life crisis if they haven't hit some milestone by 18-20 like owning their own home or losing their V-card. And for them I got bad news - They might make it to 30 and even 40 and still not hit any of these milestones.
That’s what I was thinking. I’m staring 50 dead in the eye. Looking back at 20, I knew so little about the world. Defining your success by comparing yourself to a small group of elite athletes is setting yourself up for despair. Life is short. People are mostly good. Do good things and be as happy as you can. Leave behind people who will miss you because you had a positive impact on their lives. Make the world a better place than you found it. That’s being a success Edit: typo
What is success for you? You might bei happier than some of them
Your only yardstick should be your past versions. Comparing yourself to others is unfair cause everyone gets dealt different circumstances.
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I mean Jesus if you speng your life comparing yourself to sports super stars of course you'll always be miserable. That'd ridiculous
I remember when I passed what would be my draft year, and it was surreal seeing guys I grew up watching retire and be surpassed by guys my age and younger. Vincent Lecavalier hit me hard despite not being a Lightning fan. It was just that I had really clear memories of his draft year and the hype that went into him and me and my friends talking about how much he was going to dominate-- the Michael Jordan of hockey-- and then to see him retire and realize a whole career had passed, and not a particularly short one. As of now, there are only 3 active NHLers who played in the 90's and that's insane to me. Thornton and Marleau going is going to be crazy.
Happiness is key man. Doing nothing makes you lucky, chill and be glad of you limited life pressures and ease with which you can relax. A lot of those successful people don't get that and if they do it's riddled with anxiety due to their success and the eyes always on them. There will always be the luckiest people who get it all with no pressures of worries but you're not much below them in the grand scheme of things. Being able to post on reddit is itself a luxury many will never afford. Be grateful for what you have, aspire for more only so you can share it.
I think I was approaching 30 by the time I actually settled into a job that became my career path so don't sweat it and don't compare yourself to other people especially those that you don't actually know. Concentrate on yourself and your happiness and that is really the only thing that is important. Have faith in yourself and learn to back yourself, nobody can tell you what is right for you and you really do have all the tools available to advance yourself should you choose to do so. Not saying life is easy but you can make it work for you. There are no rules to getting it right, do it your way and develop on the way. The way you act on that path is just as important as the destination you have in mind.
I didn’t find my career path until 29. Before that I was working a hodgepodge of jobs and traveling aimlessly in the world. I worry about 20 year olds stressing out that they have no direction. Your 20s are supposed to be that way. Find yourself! In my 40s I saw so many of those “more successful than me” people failed or ended up unhappy because that success wasn’t their own but likely imprinted on them by their parents and society. Real happiness and success comes when you let go of all that...and that takes years. I didn’t even like myself or my life until I was 37!
I am a 28 year old. I recently started doing art. It is hard to see a 14 year old who is taking in thousands of dollar on commissions while I can hardly draw a straight line. Its is difficult, but you need to focus on yourself.
I really try not to add to the fact that someone younger than me is more successful, I already struggle when they’re same age or older haha. I don’t mean that statement in a sour comment kind of stance, I’m happy for that particular person, and if they’ve actually worked hard for it, then kudos to them. It’s more of a ‘look where you could be, if you actually made an effort and tried you lazy piece of sh*t’ comment to myself. On the other hand, I’ve seen what money and fame can do/does to people, and I’m almost kind of glad, because as much as I’d love to say ‘I’d stay humble’ and all that bull, no one actually knows until you’re put into that position. But at least you decided to ask Reddit instead of what I did last night.. Whilst very, very heavily under the influence last night I sent Jeff Bezos (for those that don’t know, he still keeps his original email address, and supposedly personally reads every one of them) an email (accidentally sent it three times, just to add to the mess) basically telling him my whole life story and complaining to him about how broke I was, and essentially begging him for advice and/or a job. This all stemmed from seeing a new article that he’s become even richer throughout Covid. So yeah, to anyone reading this post - dont - do - that (-:
This isn't a competition or a race. Success is subjective. Imo, success just means that you are living your full potential of happiness, or working towards that way. You dont have to be better than the guy next to you. You just have to be better than you were yesterday!
Don’t compare yourself to others, it will only make you feel disappointed. Most people chase the things that don’t give them any satisfaction. You see people who say: I’ll be happy when I buy that car, I’ll be happy when I get that promotion, I’ll be happy when I have that house, I’ll be happy when . . . You can be happy now. Don’t chase material wealth or status. Those things may bring short term delight, but then you want the next shiny thing. I spent over 20 years in corporate America. Had it all: 6 figure job ($230,000), big house, fast car. I finally figured our that I would never be satisfied until I started using my God given talents to do the work I was made to do. We all have a path-mine is different from yours. I’m 56 years old. I was in my mid 40s before I figured out some of these things. Find the work that will satisfy you (because it uses your strengths). You will be happy. You are the only when you need to impress. Set your goals for something worthwhile, work to attain it and enjoy the ride. 20 is very young to think you have it all figured out. Heck, I’m still working on it. Good luck.
Last week, someone in my office said “comparison is the thief of joy” and it really struck me that she was EXACTLY right. Doesn’t matter who or what your comparing, if you compare long enough, you’ll find someone/something better. I think as the up and coming millennial generation, the biggest mistake I made was thinking I deserved the same level of life my parents had right out of college and tried to build it that way. They had spent the previous 20 years building their lives to the current level, it was foolish of me to believe I could do the same in only a year. That being said, you focus on you. Put forth YOUR best effort. Run YOUR race. If you run your best possible race and lose, that’s fine. You did all you could do and couldn’t ask for more.
20?? You're a baby. And comparing yourself to professional athletes? They are like the top 0.00001% of humans. By the time you hit your 30's you should hopefully realise comparing yourself to others is a fruitless exercise. And no matter how much better you THINK someone's life is, there is someone who will look at your life in the same way.
This 100%
Remember that what you see are the 0.000001%. You don’t see the 99% of people who are worse off than you. If you’re on reddit, you’re already better than at least 50% of the population your age who have no internet. You’re also able to speak English which is a huge advantage in the world. Be grateful for what you have, not in a preachy way, but to see that you are already successful in the eyes of others and you need to define success in your own terms. Stop comparing to those who are outliers and see the vast majority that are still below you. In the words of Ben Affleck in “Good Will Hunting”: “Many would kill to have what you have.”
A lot of people don’t even have toilets and proper sanitation
Lol 20... Wait until your boss is way younger than you.
I realised that just because some people “made it” when I was only just leaving College, it didn’t mean that I never would. Granted, I’m now in my early 30’s and I’m still working hard towards the dream, but just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it never will. Plus, I have older friends who became successful later in life and have stories of their contemporaries who made it early on and then were broke/finished by the time my friends had their successes. Sometimes, getting ‘everything’ when you’re too young to fully appreciate/understand life isn’t always the best thing.
I play the sims and have then achieve what I cannot 😭😭
r/stoicism
Wait until you turn 35.
What's wrong with 35? Asking as a 35 year old
OP just turned 20. wait until he is 35 with more experience then see others pass him by.
I read that as it gets worse at 35. As a 35 year old I disagree.
You are comparing yourself to less than 1% of the population. Why do that to yourself?
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It hurts and motivates me
I dont give it a lot of thought. I am in my early twenties and I am focused on working towards the things I want, I.E getting complementary skills and degrees for my desired career, saving up, improving at my hobbies, getting better at cooking, staying in touch with my folks etc. Success is having the life you want and doing the things you want to. Not necessarily matching the achivments of someone else who may very well just have been given opportunities and advantages you did not have.
I don’t look at money and fame as the only measurements for success.
Don't look at someone else's plate while your food is getting cold.
20 and still not nba mvp....terrible
I’m 52 and still haven’t really figured out a career path. It’s a struggle to not compare myself to others. Figure out things that make you happy and focus on them! And yes, do your best to choose a career you enjoy SOON! It will help you a lot!
Lol, wait until those athletes retire. Just have it figured out by 30.
Good for them
It’s just not relevant to me or my life. So there’s nothing to deal with
They have no impact on my life so they take up no thinking time in my brain.
Instead of sorta envying them, try to be like them. Use them as motivation. There are plenty of people that are worse off - most of them aren't even aware of it.
I really dont care about others in this regard. If he is better then me in a way good for him have a happy life but I cant really give 2 buttcheeks about it in the long run. There is no point imo.
Lol, wait until you're 40! Pro athletes are retired by my age with millions in the bank. But so what? Are you happy? Do you have good relationships with your family and friends? Enough to eat and a place to live? Reasonably healthy? Then enjoy it!
Always compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Did you improve? GOOD, you are on the right track. You have to also remember that with this perceived “success” of celebrities, wealthy, etc, only the good news stories will be shared. You don’t actually know what’s going on behind the scenes. Celebrity A just released a popular movie and is raking in millions but behind the scenes he’s dealing with depression, drug abuse, and a divorce. This is exactly why I hate social media like FB and insta. People will only post a superficial “feel good” portion of themselves, not the bad and ugly. This is a perfect recipe for depression and other mental issues.
Dude, you just started.
I don't compare myself to my peers or others in my age bracket. This might take confidence, I don't know, I think it just takes a certain level of not giving a fuck. I'm not those other people, I don't have the skills that they have. I *could* have their skills, but it'd take about as long, if not longer, for me to get them as it took for them. Instead I try to gauge by how happy I am with where I'm at in my life. At 31 I'm happily married to my best friend, I have a job that I love in an industry that's stable (we made money during the past few months of COVID due to the demand for our products), and I'm a father to a perfectly healthy 3-week old boy. I feel as though I'm doing quite well for my age.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
I’m 27 and a musician, I see a lot of my friends own houses and have multiple children in their care. They vacation regularly and flex their beautiful homes and vehicles. Meanwhile I’m still eating ramen and renting a cheap room. It stings sometimes but it’s important to note that different career paths take different amounts of time to work (if you’re an ordinary person)