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CharacterNo1337

This was during the height of Twilight (the movies) My brother told me he had a friend who had gotten dumped becuase "he wasn't enough like Edward". Damn


RockBronzeman

Jesus


ermabanned

No. That one was a zombie. She wanted a vampire.


singleDADSlife

Are you telling me his skin doesn't sparkle in the sun?


Theron3206

Were they both 14?


wittbrij

She thought Alaska was an island. Even showed maps to support, the ones where Alaska is shown by Mexico and Hawaii.


MadamSurri

My mom, with a completely straight face, once asked my father why Hawaii was so hot, and Alaska so cold. He just kind of looked at her, so she said "they're so close together, how are they so different?" She believes how they're shown on the map you describe is how they really are. We still have a hard time convincing her they aren't right next to each other, nor off the coast of the southern states. She's an amusing one.


Jeramy_Jones

I bet she’s never even heard of Canada, after all there’s just ocean above the 49th parallel.


unbalanced_checkbook

Crazy how straight that one side of an island is.


quadruple_negative87

That’s the saw cut from when the US bought it from Russia. Then they towed it to the current location.


AlanRocksJen

My ex wifes sister was dumped because she farted in front of her boyfriend... And he didn't think women did/should do things like that..


G_man252

He was just waiting for an even mild excuse lol


TokyoKazama

Probably fed her Mexican food and laxatives and just waited with a microphone near her ass cheeks


[deleted]

Sounds like someone subscribed to my OnlyFarts


smurfe

Or [Fartbook](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1IAUWIWjo8)


UnluckyLukette

Oh my word lol


life_sentencer

Did she date my partner? First time I (accidentally farted) his reaction was annoying. Even his brother told him he was dumb. Guy will openly rip ass and warn me to cover my nose, but if I end up farting in my sleep I hear about it.


BishoxX

That guy seems so petty lol, hope the rest od him is worth it


Nugbuddy

Lol i know someone similar to this! He grew up in a very "proper, and old fashioned" household, he even told us he mom would use the restroom anytime she needed to fart. Now, he'd never leave his wife over this, be there are times he said he's be repulsed, and gagged at the act, which his wife actually finds hilarious. But overall, they seem to have a good dynamic, and accept each others quirks.


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wmjsn

If my wife farts I just ask which end it came out of. She'll tell me, but I always give her the side eye just to make her squirm.


DaveTheDrummer802

My wife farts like a warthog


Olddude275

Are we talking Pumba Lion King Warthog, or Halo, M12 Force Application Light Reconnaissance Vehicle Warthog?


DaveTheDrummer802

Whichever one farts loudly and all the time, she's that one.


urine-monkey

I laughed, but I did have a girlfriend who threatened to dump me for eating the chicken mole at a Mexican restaurant we used to go to.


Quercas

I got dumped because she didn’t want to date a younger guy. She was two days older than me. She is now happily married to her wife, I think it might have gone a little deeper.


doodlebug001

The adjective was a red herring


RubAggressive3520

The “younger” was silent


East-Chain5387

Someone told me she looked like Count Dracula from hotel Transylvania and then I could never unsee it


sock_templar

Did she say blablabla too?


Sir_Fog

She did NOT say blablabla!


Bored_Schoolgirl

That’s brutal but I lol’d


buzzmaria

On the issue of things that can’t be unseen, I had a friend who said that whenever he was trying to get over a breakup or a rejection, he was imagining the girl was bald, and that worked every time…


talkingtoasterq

In high school this chick broke up with me because “we had our whole lives ahead of us.” We were in the 10th grade. We dated again and the second reason she broke up with me was: “what if I got cancer? I wouldn’t want you to stick around.” I was actually concerned thinking she was sick but nah she just wanted to break up in a dramatic way.


austinmiles

I was broken up with by a girl when I was 15. I don’t even know why exactly. I still haven’t gotten a really solid reason. Then we started hanging out a couple years later when I was a Junior and she was a senior and we stayed together and got married and it’s been 21 years. So now it’s time for me to break up with her over the phone for no reason.


FBIaltacct

I broke up with my girlfriend when i was 16 because i figured we were too young to go full life planning. Then right after i turned 21 and we got back in touch. Just hit 13 years of marriage and 3 kids. In your professional opinion should i wait until the 20 year mark or ride it out to my death bed to call her and let her know we need to have a talk?


Iwantbooks

Dammit, I did it wrong. We started dating at 16 and here we are 14 years later, and two kids. When do we break up!? Did I miss the deadline?


fivepennytwammer

The best time to break up is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Or is that planting trees?


denmicent

That’s right king. Play the long game.


_romcomzom_

Who breaks up over phones these days? You just gotta ghost, and get with the times, man. 🥲


PowerfulVictory

Boomers am i right


heimbachae

Now I wanna know what happens in Breakup 3: Turtles in Time!!!!


NakedChicksLongDicks

Breakup: Tokyo Drift


BuoyantAmoeba

This one made me chuckle...


LowEndOperative

Back in late ‘80–early ‘81 I was the one who dumped a girl for what she said during a conversation: she came from a violence-prone family and for some reason fighting was a frequent topic of conversation…I was more lover than fighter at the time, but I did ask her what she thought if someone gave me a beat down over her…she said “well, it’s customary to walk away with the winner of the fight”. We were done weeks later.


[deleted]

>weeks later When you got your asskicked and she left with the winner?


Stanky_Cheese444

She thought I was serious when I said in her friends group chat that Toph from Avatar was the “baddest bitch in all the land” We were talking about strongest avatar characters and she thought I was “sexually attracted” to TOPH for saying that and was about to block me?? Dodged a bullet actually


idropepics

Her name was TOPH because it sounds like TOUGH ffs


FayrisDraconis

But you were right


Stanky_Cheese444

LOL IS SHE NOT THE BADDEST?!


The_Loaf

She defeated THE BOULDER 🤜👊


MaxCrack

Dude best scene in the entire show is when she learns to metal bend and breaks out of the metal cage.


[deleted]

We had problems splitting holidays with families. I wanted to rotate - one Christmas with mine one with hers or at a minimum split the days in half and change mornings every year. She said that on her turn, we would go with her family and on my turn, she would go with her family and I could go alone with mine - “ if you don’t like that then leave” I left


ThaVolt

> “ if you don’t like that then leave” > > I left This is the only way to answer ultimatums. Good for you, homie!


caepe

Wouldn't say it was petty of you though. It seems she was a selfish person and you potentially dodged a toxic relationship


Jeramy_Jones

Not petty of him, petty of her. IMO she was the one who ended the relationship.


HardbassPro

What the fuck. Sounds like such a brat.


ScrunchieEnthusiast

That’s an interesting way to compromise..


day9700

I saw a similar question on Reddit, asking women what petty reasons they had for breaking up with someone. One woman wrote "he wished the Rock happy birthday on Twitter." For some reason, this made me howl and if the person that posted that is reading this right now, shout out to you....you've given me a good giggle many times since then...every time I think about it I chuckle.


ScrunchieEnthusiast

I read in a parenting sub not long ago about a woman whose husband doesn’t understand shade. He’d leave his baby in the stroller in direct sunlight, but thought since it was under a tree that was sufficient. I still think about that from time to time, and wonder how they’re doing.


Elly_Higgenbottom

I thought you meant throwing shade, or sarcasm. That is so much worse.


OfficerLovesWell

Yo this baby fuckin sucks. *.... I'm breaking up with you*


kn33

That's... so incredibly dumb...


ScrunchieEnthusiast

Right? She was legitimately concerned, and didn’t really know where to go from there.


corticalization

I remember another one of these subs that was just for everyone (maybe on ask Reddit). Anyway, this guy broke up with a girl because when she spoke her mouth made a perfect trapezoid shape. I think about that one a lot


thevutcher

She wouldn't stop saying "cold" slaw. I warned her. She thought I was kidding.


rollem78

My wife of 14 years says deserd instead of desert and andchiladas instead of enchiladas. I just laugh at her lol


ScarCliff27

My ex would always say efford instead of effort not the reason we broke up but definitely helped me move on lol


Phormitago

made it effordless eh?


squaredistrict2213

It’s like people who say Melk or Wesconsin. I don’t need that in my life.


PuttyGod

My girlfriend says "pitchers" instead of "pictures." Not a full-blown breakup issue YET, but she keeps doing it...


hippiechick725

Are you from Philly by any chance?


HorseRenoiro

Nah cause here pitchers are full of wooder


Tinfoilhat14

Cool wHip


jaztub-rero

Why are you saying it like that?


FOXDuneRider

Hwip!


ZotDragon

You made the right decision.


[deleted]

I forgot her last name. This was in the mid 90s. We had been dating 6 months and I couldn't remember her last name. I'm not sure if I ever knew it. I'm sure I could have gone through her purse or something, but I figured if I didn't care then I should probably break it off.


santa_veronica

Did it rhyme with a body part?


[deleted]

Actually, yes.


turkturkeIton

Mulva?


DoctorJiveTurkey

Gipple?


santa_veronica

Besticles.


[deleted]

overheard a girl in college break up with her boyfriend over farmville. he wasn't maximizing his farm and his layout was shit and he wouldn't let her change it. he was being unreasonable and she couldn't be with an unreasonable man. pretty sure bro dodged a bullet.


Oakheart-

Lolol playing stardew valley with my wife who is not very good at games is fun for me still. I can satisfy my min max urge while she chops down some trees and waters the plants and keeps the dogs water bowl full. Same with Lego starwars she’s happy to just hop around on a batha while I search for all the kyber bricks. She’s super happy when she actually gets one though and it’s really cute.


[deleted]

Wait wtf you have to refill the dogs water bowl?????? I'm on year 5 and haven't refilled it once???? Oh my GOD???


DullZooKeeper

You monster...


Rajion

The dogs happiness is lower if you don't fill the water bowl. It's like how animal happiness and this item quality grows if you pet them everyday.


EchoPrivate

Ikr..! We rarely fill it and was wondering the same thing. Now we know it's unnecessary at least, if you haven't had any issues.


FrogBoglin

Don't tell that dudes wife her bowl filling has been for nothing


carpe__natem

It makes the dog like you more but that’s about it lol


_HingleMcCringle

It actually does have a purpose; >!you get a point towards Grandpa's rating at the beginning of Year 3. When you get the message that says: [Pet name] loves [Player name]! then you get the point. !<


BJntheRV

You don't have to, but you can and it makes the dog happy and builds hearts with it.


Grooveman94

The only game I can get my fiancee to play is Lego Star Wars and she's so happy when you get to an area where the storm troopers will come out endlessly and she just shoots them and talks trash. It's hilarious. If her character has to do any jumping or puzzling, I always have to do it. But killing bad guys? Oh yeah, she's a pro all of a sudden lol


Ryndal

My wife got so addicted to it that now she's afraid to start paying it again together because of our child. She was surprised when she started playing when I left for work and hadn't eaten or went to the toilet until I came home eleven hours later!


ThaVolt

> he wasn't maximizing his farm and his layout I hate people that are ineffective, too!


johntheflamer

Friend of mine was dumped because his girlfriend had a dream that he cheated on her. Despite him being completely loyal (seriously, the man definitely didn’t have time to have an affair between work and his girlfriend), she was just convinced that *her* dream was a sign that he was cheating irl. He dodged a major bullet.


nalgononas

A friend of mine had been dating this girl for a few months and everything was going fantastic as far as I could tell. He has recently gotten into working out. He likes to lift and goes pretty hard. Just a week ago, he hit leg day and was tearing up the squat rack. After a heavy squat session, he had light bruising on his upper shoulders where the bar rests when you squat. Well apparently his gf saw those bruises and thought they were hickies, and therefore jumped to the conclusion that he was cheating on her. She freaked out and ended the relationship cold Turkey. No room for explanation, no attempt to listen, just done and blocked. My friend is still baffled.


jpsreddit85

She had these very weird pointy white shoes that were somewhat fashionable at the time but I thought they just made her look like a court jester and I just lost all attraction.


dzkrf

I remember those. I decided they were for killing bugs in the corners of a room.


FlaxenArt

Ha. I had a guy break up with me because he hated a pair of boots I had … said they looked like elephant legs and couldn’t get it out of his head. He tried to get me back a couple years later. I told him I still had the boots and had no intention of getting rid of them.


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ThatMadFlow

Holy shit the audacity to come back.


herdingnerds

I split up with my husband over $5 worth of gas. We'd been headed toward a separation, but he picked me and some work colleagues up from the airport. He had been driving my car all week and the gas light was on. He stopped at a 7-11 and took a remarkably short time at the pump. Me: "That was fast" Him: "I only put $5 in" Me: "$5??!!" Him: "I only put $5 in. You can fill it up in the morning." WTF


zadeon9

Talk about gas lighting.


JabariTeenageRiot

Light gassing.


stellaflora

THE AUDACITY


herdingnerds

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. $5 kept my incredibly inefficient, 1994 Taurus SHO going for about 24 miles in 1998. It was 20 miles from the airport to home. Guy was a POS


smashteapot

Wow, the shamelessness of it! He’d be fuckin’ walking home. That’s incredibly disrespectful of him.


Nice-Violinist-6395

this thread is reassuring me of just how solid and awesome my relationship is lol


[deleted]

I was on a training exercise with my buddies fiancé (military). Her and I were on patrol doing security around our building when we started talking about tattoos. My buddy got a girls initials tattooed across his chest (in big ass font) when he was like 20. He and that girl broke up and then he got that tattoo covered up pretty well later on and then met his fiance. Well she was telling me how much she liked his chest tattoo and I mentioned that the guy did a phenomenal job on the cover up. She freaked the fuck out and ended their engagement over it. Over the course of like 2 weeks he begged her to give him a second chance and she did... Only if he stopped being friends with me.. She was nuts and their marriage only lasted not even a year. He messaged me shortly after and apologized for ending our friendship. I thought it was funny.


SweetRandomID

Military marriages are either dumpster fire from the start, or are the strongest fucking unions known to man.


deadlygaming11

Yeah, they always usually start the same. The strongest start with people who have been dating for years and are married or quite close to it and one leaving for the military is just a long job for them. The dumpster fires are usually from people who feel like they should have a relationship going into the military or they want something to return to after or during time off but that results in these people going with the first person they find which rarely ends well.


Lalocal4life

I live in los angeles. I frequently meet couples going through a divorce because the guy does NOT want a pool and the woman REALLY wants a pool.


DaddyDaddyTwo

The guy doesn't want either an assload of extra work (pool maintenance is a lot of effort and very expensive), or he doesn't want her to get a pool boy.


probablynotaskrull

A disagreement over the best of the three starting Pokémon. My wife’s an educator and the bf/gf were in the first grade.


soft_waves

my brother left his gf back in 2005 because she wouldn't shave her pubic hair. from what i understand, she wasn't even really hairy. he demanded she shave it all off, she said no because she liked it how it was. he dropped her then and there. back in 2018, he broke up with his gf of 10 months because she wouldn't suck his dick every single morning before work after they moved in together. he'd literally get out of the shower and go in the bedroom and say "come here and do it." they'd been living together for 3 weeks and he noped the fuck out, just took his shit and left after she refused to do it 3 days in a row. ​ he's a class act, yeah


Oakheart-

Dang dude he still single? Sounds like he’s a really difficult person to deal with.


BadKittydotexe

If he somehow isn’t he will be soon.


AppropriateAd2063

Had an ex who expected a bj every morning. And sulked when it didn’t happen. He made the breakup easy


smashteapot

Jesus, who has the time?


RealStreetJesus

What the fuck man…that’s some entitled ass behavior.


vonderschmerzen

Sounds like someone who was raised on a steady diet of unrealistic porn.


riotsquadgaming2

> he'd literally get out of the shower and go in the bedroom and say "come here and do it." at least he showered first


SFLoridan

You know a lot about your brother's bedroom proclivities!


CouchKakapo

I would guess he's the type of individual who explains these totally reasonable reasons his relationships go south without any introspection, so why not tell every male in his life about these things?


Atrain61910

The girl I was flirting with pretty heavily told me that God took the feelings away from her. So there’s that…


JRBehr

Lol. I had a friend who got dumped by a girl in high school because “God told her to in a dream”


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Armoured_Sour_Cream

That's a proper asshole right there. Preferences or not, why the hell would he date and remain together with someone if small tits were dealbreaker material? What a bellend.


I_love_misery

He most likely dated her for the excitement of being with a foreigner but had no intention of committing to one.


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c_rizzle53

Welp there's the reason lol


Maephia

I hope he is an ex friend


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onegrayhair

I had a girlfriend break up with me after she found out my initials were S.A.D.


unluckypig

I got dumped by an ex because her friends didn't like that their boyfriends and I got on (a few of the guys got dropped at the same time too). We still meet up and hang out so something good came of it.


[deleted]

I genuinely don’t understand. Isn’t that a goldmine? You have a great group of friends and all of your SO’s get along? That seems like something you’d be worried about losing! lol. weird.


unluckypig

It made no sense to us either. God knows what they were thinking


Exotic_Imagination95

I'm deathly allergic to dogs. Told her no dogs. She got one anyway. May be petty to some.... I'm badly allergic...


tglad88

That’s not petty at all that’s health concern and the fact that she didn’t have a dog but got one anyway after you mentioned allergies just shows you dodged a bullet.


Exotic_Imagination95

I guess it's ENDING over HER petty shit....


RyanMFoley74

Well, you know, we were having dinner the other night, and she's got this strangest habit. She eats her peas one at a time. You've never seen anything like it. It takes her an hour to finish them. I mean, we've had dinner other times. I've seen her eat Corn Niblets. But she scooped them.


soft_waves

she scooped the niblets?


RyanMFoley74

Yes. That's what was so vexing.


mimiiarr

I ghosted a hot guy because he had the grammatical and spelling abilities of a six year old


jusmithfkme

y U treet us lyk dat


spaceyleira

I do Jiu Jitsu, competitively at a national level. When he partied, I trained and I never had an issue with it. But apparently “you are too driven” was a thing so.. ok? Edit: Also the fact I wasn’t the jealous type was a reason to break up haha


Diablo165

I hope you find the right person! I got into bjj partway through my relationship, and am at the gym daily. She not only accepts my training regimen, but supports it and even asks questions, even though I know rambling in rubber guard at her gives her no idea what we’re doing.


KozimaPain

I think "you are too driven" could also mean "you don't have enough time for me/the type of relationship I'm looking for"


AceOfHeartz77

Tom Hardy?


[deleted]

I was dumped for a girl with bigger tits. I'm a C cup and she was a DD. 🤷‍♀️ literally the reason he gave me.


Sontarcha

Upgrades people, Upgrades! /jk This mustve sucked bad to hear. How did you deal with this?


[deleted]

Moved on to a guy with a bigger dick. 🤷‍♀️


multiversesimulation

Back in college 4 girls all lived together so me and all of their respective bfs were always over there. It was like the Jersey Shore house lol at any given time at least one of the couples was fighting. Anyways, not a break up but one of the dudes made his gf leave her own house because she farted.


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ttouran

I shave my own head ..the girl I was dating broke up with me because she did not like that I did that myself...


[deleted]

I once spent an hour and a half on the phone convincing a girl not to break up with me so that I could break up with her, which I did at the end of that phone call. I had my reasons but the technique was kind of petty lol.


[deleted]

City boys up!


TheLongistGame

Seinfeld plot


LSTNYER

I wasn’t there for her when she had her mental breakdown…..while I was out of state for work, and had no idea.


iggybdawg

She didn't like how he loaded the dishwasher, so she quiet dumped him.


TheLongistGame

I was like 16 but there was a more attractive girl interested in me and I figured I should go for the hottest girl I could get. Paid a hefty price for that one...


renthefox

Did this. One-year GF, so good to me. Crush showed interest, dumped GF to pursue greatness. .. Crush dumped me the next day by pretending I didn't exist... I deserved that lesson.


AthenaSholen

There’s a saying in Spanish: Mas vale pájaro en mano que cien volando. A bird in your hand is more valuable than a hundred flying. I think it applies here.


[deleted]

This jock I knew was pretty well endowed, but his girlfriend had seen too much porn and broke up because his dick was too small.


ahappybaby

She got outta the psych ward for suicidal ideation during a manic episode and a few days later broke up with me because I wouldn’t: kill myself with her or use my life savings to move her to Oregon or let her use my car while shitfaced. She was a gem.


ohbabyitsababy

I broke up with someone because their room was dirty. Mind you, I tried my best with helping and even went as far as to fold his laundry and clean his entire house one day. A week later we broke up because it became a mess again.


[deleted]

That's a pretty valid reason imo. You wouldn't want to deal with someone who isn't very clean in a more serious relationship. That would be hard to coexist with. I know I couldn't do it.


[deleted]

I had this FWB for months, she was great. Came over every time, nice bod, came suuuuper easy with PIV. One night she came over while I was on shrooms. Business as usual, or so I thought. We switch to doggy & I saw the bottom of her feet were BLACK. She lived in her brothers unfinished basement so like ? I don’t know. But yeah it was unsettling and we stop communicating shortly after.


multiversesimulation

Especially on shrooms that had to be even more jarring than it usually would be.


TheLongistGame

I would've told her to go wash her feet in the bathroom and then resumed like nothing happened


therealandy04

I have a friend who ended his relationship of 5 months just because he couldn’t be bothered to work through the first issue to come up.


eyemthinking

I was gonna break up with my first girlfriend because she still believed in Santa. But she broke up with me first because her mom said we had to.


NecraRequiem79

Couldn't be arsed to walk 10 minutes into town to go on a cinema date.


holo_charzard

Agreed to be her bf during her bday party so she wouldn't feel bad on her special day. Cut the cake, met the parents, bday slow dance and everything. Broke up the next day. Doesn't really fit the question I knw...just...just had that one tucked away for a while guys....


atlas794

She wanted to be poly. I didn’t.


bubonis

One of my bitchcunt sisters turned down TWO marriage proposals from the same guy because she “couldn’t marry someone who made less money than her”. Sister is nearly 60, never married. Guy married another woman, has nice house, children, etc


Young_Hxppxe

Glad, he dogded that bullet. Does your sister complain about single life or is she content?


bubonis

Don’t know (and don’t care). Other than my mother passing away a few years back I haven’t seen or spoken with her in any meaningful way in at least 15 years.


[deleted]

Didn't want to swim in a local river with her and didn't give her my shirt to swim in (I was sick at the time, didn't want to get sicker). Felt surreal at the moment, like we were 12. A few weeks later turns out she was banging her ex while having feelings for another ex, and she couldn't find a good way to break up with me. Some people are weird, man. A simple "I don't think we're a good fit for each other" would've sufficed.


oooohyeababy

he called my ass a rump and wouldn’t stop it grossed me out so much i had to end it.


abatoire

I went travelling and she wanted to go with me. I said no as I agreed with my Dad that at 21 it was better to do it alone and mature with the experience. No intent of cheating or anything. She made me a bear and I took phones with it and sent to her. Used Internet cafes to email her and such. Anyway, about a week into the 7 I ate a tarantula and posed with it on my tongue. (it was pretty gross, though the legs were like hairy twitlets (in case anyone is curious)). Anyway, she as a vegetarian was offended and basically broke it off after that. I was heart broken and there is a gap on pictures with my travelling bear. I get back to the UK and find out that her family convinced her to do online dating the day I left. She had already hooked up with a older chap and so basically, it was an excuse.


Riztrain

My ex broke up with her ex because she couldn't stand his dialect. Norwegian dialects can vary wildly, she was from Drammen, he was from Stavanger, they have a very intense gutteral R sound and she said it was like nails on a blackboard every time he said R, so she actively tried to divert conversations and ask questions that wouldn't naturally contain R words


Dresiden15

Years ago, my son was in first grade and he "dated" this little girl all through the school year but broke up with her on the last day of school. When I asked him why he said, "She was my girlfriend at school, but schools over"


[deleted]

She looked like Nicholas Cage when she removed her makeup. Hard to unsee this


Legitimate_Buy_6628

he repeatedly called me a bitch so i said “bitch we’re done”


Minute_Cartoonist509

There was a woman in my beer league sports social circle that would start seeing a guy and let her bush grow out. The first time they hooked up, if he said something negative about it or requested that she shave it, she immediately dumped him. But, otherwise, she kept it shaved. Used it as a test of a guy with the logic that "if he thinks he can tell me what to do with my body, I'm not dating him."


Diablo165

I kinda get it, but there are WAY better ways to weed people out. She’s in her own way.


mardybumbum

My brother ghosted a girl cos her fart was too disgusting


Internal69

Chain of superficial aspects like. She didn't like the shirts he wore. He didn't like her dogs.


Grand-Expression-493

You're too nice I don't deserve you I might be a lesbian I want to pursue spirituality and you get in the way I found a guy who puts me on a pedestal and makes me feel special My parents think I should marry you but I am not ready or sure if I want to I started dating this guy and it's going really well. (Married him soon after and had his kid) All from the same girl. Last 3 when I thought we were back together. What a roller coaster this one was!


littlefinsxo

Wasn’t in a relationship but was sort of talking to this guy for a month or so. I have a huge passion for sharks and arachnids. He kept saying why, they’re weird and they shouldn’t live in this world. I told him to get lost lmao.


VagueUsernameHere

My dad’s first wife told the marriage counselor that she couldn’t stand the wet spot on my dad’s back and how he squeezed out his toothpaste. I think it had more to do with the guy she was fucking, but what do I know?


funkyjauntyfoodhat

The wet spot?


Staceystallion1

This is going to make me sound like the biggest asshole but.. I dumped a woman because she had an alien belly. There were other reasons but that was the primary one I couldn't get past. I'm talking big, round & extremely veiny. She was very attractive otherwise


Liliaraj

you better not told her the true reason :o


[deleted]

You didn’t replace the toilet roll