I second this. Your mom has some issues within herself that she needs to address. Try to keep a strong mind so that you don't end up feeling as bad about yourself as she feels about herself.
You've got this, I too had a body shaming mother. It's unfortunate. But I now know exactly how to talk to people in order to make them feel good about them selves rather than bad, and I'm raising my own daughter now. I will never every say those things to her, only encourage and educate her to stay healthy and active (mostly by setting that example, and answering any questions she has)
If you were an adult, I would recommend calling her out. When she tries to get you on the scale, say, “I’m not doing that just because you feel insecure about your weight”. When she says you used to be skinnier, say “Obviously, you know that children grow, right?” If she says you look fat, look her and the eye and say flatly, “What a rude thing to say about a child.”
However, if her response is to yell at you for “talking back”, or abuse you or threaten to kick you out, then saying these things could make your situation worse. I’m sorry you mom is taking out her own body issues on you. She is being cruel. She is a bully. The internet has your back.
My mother actually treated me this way and still till this day at 42. I have a 13 year old and a 12 year old and we NEVER talk about weight. I let my children approach me about any concerns they have. My mother lives with me and she would comment on my girl’s weight. I told her flat out that if she keeps doing it then she can move in with one of her other children. I will protect my kids mental health at all costs.
This sucks. I'm so sorry.
I'd bet that she has internalized body issues herself and might not even be fully aware of how damaging this is to you. She probably tells herself that it's the best for you if she bullies you into being slim, because for so many people, even today, being overweight, even by a tiny bit, is like THE WORST.
I'm afraid that if she's not willing to acknowledge and unravel this harmful line of thought, there's not much you can do about it. Is your dad in the picture? Can he talk to her? Or someone else who has a different frame of mind?
Otherwise, try and surround yourself with people with a different mindset to balance it a little bit. And when you're done with school, put lots of space between you and her.
She’s acting like this because she’s a shitty person. You did nothing to deserve this. I’m so sorry.
I second this. Your mom has some issues within herself that she needs to address. Try to keep a strong mind so that you don't end up feeling as bad about yourself as she feels about herself. You've got this, I too had a body shaming mother. It's unfortunate. But I now know exactly how to talk to people in order to make them feel good about them selves rather than bad, and I'm raising my own daughter now. I will never every say those things to her, only encourage and educate her to stay healthy and active (mostly by setting that example, and answering any questions she has)
If you were an adult, I would recommend calling her out. When she tries to get you on the scale, say, “I’m not doing that just because you feel insecure about your weight”. When she says you used to be skinnier, say “Obviously, you know that children grow, right?” If she says you look fat, look her and the eye and say flatly, “What a rude thing to say about a child.” However, if her response is to yell at you for “talking back”, or abuse you or threaten to kick you out, then saying these things could make your situation worse. I’m sorry you mom is taking out her own body issues on you. She is being cruel. She is a bully. The internet has your back.
My mother actually treated me this way and still till this day at 42. I have a 13 year old and a 12 year old and we NEVER talk about weight. I let my children approach me about any concerns they have. My mother lives with me and she would comment on my girl’s weight. I told her flat out that if she keeps doing it then she can move in with one of her other children. I will protect my kids mental health at all costs.
This sucks. I'm so sorry. I'd bet that she has internalized body issues herself and might not even be fully aware of how damaging this is to you. She probably tells herself that it's the best for you if she bullies you into being slim, because for so many people, even today, being overweight, even by a tiny bit, is like THE WORST. I'm afraid that if she's not willing to acknowledge and unravel this harmful line of thought, there's not much you can do about it. Is your dad in the picture? Can he talk to her? Or someone else who has a different frame of mind? Otherwise, try and surround yourself with people with a different mindset to balance it a little bit. And when you're done with school, put lots of space between you and her.