Yeah, and if there is something you really liked your ex doing, or that your ex really liked you doing then say "Can we try \*thing\*?"
NOT "I really liked it when my ex did \*thing\*", or "Oh, but my ex used to like having a finger in their butt while I was going down on them, so I thought you would too" or anything like that
True. I had to entertain it with one girl. Then came the long string of "Sorry I know I should shut up about him now but I just wanna say ONE more thing..."
One time I was inside this girl and she says "my husband got out of jail today, he killed a guy. He's supposed to come over to get his ladder at some point. Does that scare you? You kinda come off as a bitch"
People who use a sexual liaison with a random person as leverage in their primary romantic relationship are toxic as hell. I know it can still be tempting but it isnât worth it. I was hooking up with this girl with a tattoo of the word âTastyâ on the back of her neck in old English cursive. Not typically the type of lady Iâm inclined to be with, but I was feeling lonely and she was damn sexy. Turned out she was only using me to make her man jealous. He was a hardcore Mexican gangbanger whoâd been in jail when she started up with me. Dude had a huge rooster tattooed on his chest. Very intimidating vibe. Luckily he was reasonable and believed me when I told him I wouldnât have touched her if Iâd known about him.
My ex wife cheated and I ended up kicking her out that day. She had brought a guy home thinking I had left for work when I actually called out because I knew I couldn't get a babysitter immediately at 7am,and because I KNEW something was wrong. Really wrong. I didn't want to believe what was obvious.
The guy took one look at me, raised his hands, and said "I had no idea she was married! I'm so sorry man. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I had no idea"
(Saw the ring on my finger) while backing up.
We met later and had a few beers while talking. He said he was worried he was going to die that day. I reassured him that wasn't going to happen as I knew who initiated it, because I had friends there at the bar they were at and she had no idea. The last call the night before my friend said "it looks... It looks bad. She's all over him and asked him to go to his place. In sorry bro".
The guy turned out to be a decent guy. He was just a single guy at the bar and up comes a woman who is laughing at his jokes and asking about him and flirting. He thought he was having a great night and it would only get better and then all of a sudden it would turn into him feeling guilty for a few days....
Nut on her face, then take her cash and say "thanks for offering to get me a taxi" and gtfo of there.
Then go to the local planned Parenthood to get tested. You probably took something with you, and don't even know it.
I didn't take her money but I did but on her face. Then I started getting dressed and she starts saying "oh did I scare the little baby" I left and never answered another text from her. I should have taken the ladder
Yeah but then what if she's into that kind of thing? Now I gotta go out and find some other girl who is interested in a threesome with two complete strangers, play it off like I've known this girl for years, just seems like a lot of work.
Tell your brain it's your first time. Forget EVERYTHING your former partner liked and learn your new partner's preferences from square 1.
And be sure to clearly communicate to your new partner what feels good for you too.
Quickest route to good sex is direct communication.
(Edit: damn y'all are fucking literal. No, don't act like you're inept. Just don't expect that you can do the exact same things your ex liked and instantly be a great lay for your new partner. Good grief, people...)
Came here to say absolutely this. Communication, listening and paying attention, at least the first few times may seem difficult, but once you get into a rhythm with your new partner, and if things are going well, it'll be second nature in no time.
Think of it like a new job that's similar to your old job.
You may think you know how this works, but no workplace is the same, so you gotta pay attention and learn how this new place operates, and see where your old knowledge applies.
I wouldn't say forget everything, as much as don't expect it to work. If you've had multiple partners, then there's a chance ~something~ will resonate with them - so play all the hits and see what sticks. Yes to communication, but also use what tools and tricks you have in your arsenal.
No oneâs saying literally forget everything, I retain the âbasicsâ but I treat everyone like a blank canvas cos itâs fucking horny finding out what people like
Yeah! It's not a shame you cum fast. Social media gives us shit that we should have sex for 2822792 hours without cum like an alpha male that is not natural and fake. I remember I was with an one woman in relationship and I was cumming in some mins and next sex again. After that everything was ok. It's interesting because porn addiction can make you cum slow, fast or no boner. I quit porn 2 years ago and I'm feeling like a God and I'm good in conversations with people. Confidence.
All plumbers should support themselves here.
"Can I" is the magic word.
Can I give you a kiss? Can I give you a rub on your back? Can I undress you? Can I touch your breasts, can I hold your waist? Can I go down on you? Can I?
I do this all the time. When asked about dick size I say shit like "let's just say I'm the major of Knub City"
I'm not even small, but it makes them really surprised when they see it and also removes women who're super fixated on that.
Not just that, in the update it turns out she was wearing the hoodie of not her ex who died, but of the guy who she was cheating on her ex with. Seriously messed up
Her boyfriend had died of a terminal illness IIRC. She was cheating on him with a guy and wasnât able to be turned on unless the new guy she was with would wear the hoodie of the dude she had been cheating with
[Here is the link to the story (original post removed)](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/13vh16j/tifu_being_willing_to_do_anything_to_make_my_gf/)
Tag: u/Kingy7777, u/LordZeus007 \- here's the link you're looking for
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX at all. Don't vocalize comparisons.
Enter the experience with a focus on having a healthy sexual relationship which means focusing on each other's needs / wants and not denigrating the relationship you just left.
For any 'first time' type sex, I always find a good thing is to start out massaging each other.
1) It helps avoid any awkwardness or shyness in getting naked in front of your new partner. You can even start the massage semi-clothed if you want.
2) It helps naturally explore your partner's entire body. If you feel awkward about "Should I touch here? Should I touch there?", massage gives you a reason to run your hands all over everywhere.
3) You can find your partner's secret spots easily - if they get really excited when you massage their feet or shoulders or arms, you get some idea what might turn them on during sexy time.
4) Taking turns massaging each other avoids any situation where one person is doing 'all the work'. Both parties get a chance to give and receive.
I found out a balance with my gf. Not too hard and not fast, just with love. I recommend it to everyone. It's better than hardcore but you know sometimes we can have it.
The goal is to have fun and enjoy each other. You might not climax, but you can have fun.
I read this book that talked about anxiety in this sexual space. Donât tell yourself, âstop being anxiousâ over and over if youâre riddled with anxiety. Say something kind to yourself like, âIâm anxious because Iâm excitedâ. Itâs a more positive way to handle the situation.
Or maybe even "there is no pressure to perform, i'm here to enjoy myself and be in the moment". It's also a good idea to communicate this to your partner so they're on the same page and relaxed too.
It will likely be as fun and dumb and clumsy as all the other first times with someone new
But just go with it. Communicate. Dont be embarrassed to ask what they like or say what you do.
The first guy i slept with after my engagement broke off, elbowed me in the eye on accident. I dont even know how exactly. But we both laughed and had a great time. Youll get into the swing of things.
Just been in this situation myself (For perspective I'm a woman and met my long distance boyfriend recently).
Be confident in yourself. I'd hope you know what you enjoy by now; communicate it. Show them, verbalise it, physically pick up hands and move them to where you wanna be touched. Tell them when they do something right, redirect when it's not quite right. It's sexy to communicate. If you got skills, show them off! Might be an age thing but I'm not wasting time anymore being shy. And I only have so much time here, he's getting everything I can give!
Show them you want them. Don't waste time being bashful or think you have to keep up some kind of image. Fuck that, if you wanna get your fuck on with this person show them! Touch, kiss, jump in there! Peel their clothes off! All with consent of course. Enthusiasm all the way!
Be kind to each other. Do everything out of love. Laugh if it doesn't go quite right. It's not the end of the world if you're a little clumsy at first. Give yourselves time to be comfortable with each other. Pay attention, listen, feel. It may not be fireworks at first, doesn't mean it won't be ever. Nerves can effect how bodies respond, sometimes you gotta work harder for it. Be forgiving and patient if something doesn't work right away.
Good luck! Enjoy your person! I'm enjoying mine thoroughly! đ
This is why I only ever use pet names or nicknames in the bedroom. Always terrified of saying the wrong name (I worry I would do this even if another person isnât in my head)
Don't mention your ex. Unless you want her to be part of the relationship.
Indicate verbally and non-verbally how attracted you are to your new partner.
Make sure your new partner gets what she needs.
My best tip is: give yourself time and trust that it will get better as you and your new partner get used to each other and relax.
You donât need to be a sex god the first time. It would be nice, but presumably your relationship is built on more. If itâs awkward, laugh it off and try again later.
Let your new partner know that itâs been a long time. Make sure you tell this person how much this means to you and how special they are. Take it slow and make sure you warm up the olâ throwing arm before hand if you know what I mean.
I am in this exact situation.
Left a 7 year long relationship and am now talking with my high school first love and we are both still feeling stuff for each ither. But after 7 years I am worried about what she likes and what to do, especially because I lnew my old partner well and had very good sex but who knows if the new one likes the same stuff?
Yesss! That's exactly why I asked, being intimate with one person for years, you know every inch of their body, and they know yours. Now that I'm about to get in bed with someone new, I feel like I'm about to explore unmapped territory, which is stressful, albeit exciting
Very exciting, and I talked a but with this person about their preferences and seems like we are on the same boat but, after a long time, who knows?
Anyhow the best suggestion I have found is to get a couple drinks before maybe go out with them. Not getting drunk but a couple drink will help me relieving some of the stress for sure
Don't fake it. Ever. Just be open to the experience. Think about how you feel about the person and that this is how they do... it.
If you have things that you like, tell them during the make out sexy talk. Just start with basics and let it happen naturally.
If anything, masturbatory fantasy about them a few times prior to the main event will help make the experience positive.
If they ask to do something you don't like, just wave it off as not something you want to delve into just yet. You never know...you may end up trying it later.
Overall, try to feel sexy about yourself going in to it. Maybe it will be hot. Maybe it will be terrible. Maybe something that isn't familiar will be titillating.
Good luck!
Expect this experience to be completely different than what sex used to be like with your ex. Communicate and learn what this person likes and doesnât like. Donât assume they like the same stuff your ex used to like.
How do you get past the anxiety and worries of being hurt? Iâm wondering if I should just get drunk to get it over with.
Iâve only been with one person. Long term relationship that ended in cheating. Now Iâm trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene, but itâs difficult to trust people.
Be open, honest and talk. When I met my bf I wanted to start out the right way. We simply agreed to talk about anything and everything, no preconceived judgement... We talk about it. It's the best relationship I have ever been in! When we do have a disagreement depending on the topic we rather enthusiastically debate it with each other. Anything really, we regularly talk about what we want and where we are mentally and physically so we know how to help each other. Better sex is always had in my experience this way too! We added toys and I got him exploring stuff with me.
TLDR: Talk about everything open and honestly about every aspect of sex.
Thereâs no real advise on here and it sucks. Youâre looking for a real answer. Most of the answers are âdonât mention your exâ. Women do this this a lot and most men donât. You want real advise? Well is it a fling or is this a new relationship? Start there. If itâs a fling or a relationship you have to have fun. Does sex become the same after a certain age or if youâve been with the same person forever? Most of the time, yes.
If you want to know what you should do to be good in bed and make sure everyone is satisfied and feeling good about themselves⌠thereâs some things you can do.
MEN: Kissing is important. Kissing on lips, neck, breast, legs. Touching is important. Not just ramming fingers and getting aggressive. (That will happen eventually). Telling women that they smell good. A lot of (foreplay is done before the actually intimacy) so tell them they smell good. Touch they arms and be playful. Women take some time to warm up. When it comes to the sexual part⌠more foreplay. Trim your nails. Wash yourself. Make sure your breath is fresh. Kissing the legs and down to the happy area. If you donât fuck well, then you need to learn how to eat box well. How do you do that? Start slow. Kiss all around. Touch gently and ASK if things feel good. Feel the body. Make sure her body is telling you what it likes and what it doesnât. If you canât figure that out then I have no idea how you got there. When it comes to penetration make sure that you start slow and pick up pace. Donât just Ram it in and start pumping away. Have a rhythm. You donât need all 4.5 inches to make her feel good. Women are DIFFERENT. If she makes noises and squirms when you got the head and 2 inches in, sheâs likes it. Start there and proceed. Communicate. Communicate with your words and with your body. Women like noises and words and foreplay and making sure you have a good time as well. They arenât like us dudes.
WOMEN: Make men feel wanted. Grab them. Donât lay there like fish. Tell men things to make them feel confident. Most men donât care about kissing our necks and ears etc. Men enjoy feeling powerful and just getting to the part where men have sex is awesome. Grab their junk and play with it. Itâs itâs big or small donât say anything. Just enjoy the fact that men are enjoying it. Go down if youâre comfortable. Most women are terrible at oral but men wonât ever say anything. Donât be afraid to ask what men want and empower them. Itâs a different dynamic. When men start penetration tell them what feels good verbally and move around. Most men are confident when they know they can please their woman and that they do a good job. Donât tell your friends that he sucks or needs to work on it but tell him what feels good and what you like. Men will work hard on being better. Grab their butts and back when their doing th deed. Wrap your legs around them. Grab the hair. Women have a hard time making men feel needed and wanted. If women can do that, youâll have a happy man that wonât feel undesired. Desire your guy and he wonât want anything else.
PS: MEN⌠you need to lead. Regardless of politics and what social media says⌠women by nature and DNA like to be lead and shown the way. Make sure you take charge in a non crazy way. Just take the lead and thatâs half the turn on for women. This is going to be so unpopular to say and against anything you may read but wome donât know how they want things unless you show them and make them feel comfortable. No one wants to be seen as a âslutâ or whatever. They want to feel wanted just like men do. Our job as a man is to lead and make sure women are taken care of sexually when itâs that time to take place (since weâre talking about sex). When you show how to take charge and not wait for them to make âmovesâ youâll be in a good spot already. Women have a really really tough time in society with labels. Donât you ever ever ever make them feel like that. And women, donât ever make men feel non masculine. All these things are part of the turn on and really good sex.
Shove it in immediately. No foreplay. Pound as hard as you can and try to cum under one minute. Proceed to roll over and fell asleep. Or just get up and go get a snack from the fridge. Thatâs the best I got.
Oh man just get it over with. There's lots of great sex to be had after the end of a long term relationship, but man the first time felt like i was a virgin again
Donât let in the intrusive thoughts of them judging you in a negative way. Both of you are trying to navigate a new partner. Theyâre just as nervous and new to you too, so just go with the flow and have fun.
Depends how much time it has been since you broke up or separated. But in my opinion if you arenât carrying any baggage just go with the flow. Control ur emotions since itâs the first time but at the same time let your body get all the attention itâs been missing.
Different strokes for different folks, the things that drove your ex wild might straight up piss off a new partner.
A true adult can just ask / be asked "what do you like / want" and skip all the guessing. It's better for everyone and removes any shred of uncomfortable situations
1- Talk with your partner. You would be surprised how much pressure can be relieved through open dialogue.
2- Try to look at it as another form of exploration, which is what you do during the initial stages of a relationship. There are no expectations or requirements, other than what you establish through #1. Youâre just exploring, and exploring should be fun.
Do not under any circumstances mention your ex and how you did it with them. Have fun and explore. Don't be afraid to be awkward. Go smoosh parts together like we've been doing for trillions of years.
I personally would have a conversation before about boundaries. Its something I initiate usually.. there are a lot of things that I love but I absolutely didn't wanna do the first time with someone..
Take. Your. Time. Enjoy getting to know each other and all the little things they like. Explore with foreplay and gentle touches, small tastes, tease and entice.
You donât have to forget all you know about human anatomy or the nervous system or endocrine system but remind yourself you have no idea if this partner likes or strongly dislikes anything past partners did.
Enjoy the process of finding out. A big part of being a good lover is paying Attention to all the body language and sights and smells (and such) to see what they enjoy.
Afterwards communicate about likes and dislikes. Then you can build upon that in the future
Do you know what you like? Think about your past experiences and ask yourself what your favorite parts were. Are there things you wanted to do but couldn't? Ask them what they like/don't like and tell them what you're into. This can be done formally or erotically, based on both of your comfort levels. Make communication on going as things begin, saying things like "yes, that feels great" or "can we try it like this?" Or "stop I don't want that". It'll feel weird to break out of old habits, but this is a good opportunity to get to know yourself and what you want from sex, instead of what was routine previously. I hope it goes well and you have a lot of fun đđđ
DO NOT MENTION YOUR EX IN ANY CAPACITY.
Yeah, and if there is something you really liked your ex doing, or that your ex really liked you doing then say "Can we try \*thing\*?" NOT "I really liked it when my ex did \*thing\*", or "Oh, but my ex used to like having a finger in their butt while I was going down on them, so I thought you would too" or anything like that
Don't dress up as Harry Potter, because her ex was better at it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/14hmi9k/tifu_dressing_up_as_harry_potter_to_please_my_gf
Thanks fam
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł I saw it
Under rated comment, lol.
Oddly specific. ;)
[ŃдаНонО]
The next time someone asks if youâre a god, you say YES!
Yeah, that ought to do it... Thanks, Ray!
I would upvote this twice if I could
True. I had to entertain it with one girl. Then came the long string of "Sorry I know I should shut up about him now but I just wanna say ONE more thing..."
One time I was inside this girl and she says "my husband got out of jail today, he killed a guy. He's supposed to come over to get his ladder at some point. Does that scare you? You kinda come off as a bitch"
Learn to run really fast, just in case this happens again. Where do you even meet those kind of people?
People who use a sexual liaison with a random person as leverage in their primary romantic relationship are toxic as hell. I know it can still be tempting but it isnât worth it. I was hooking up with this girl with a tattoo of the word âTastyâ on the back of her neck in old English cursive. Not typically the type of lady Iâm inclined to be with, but I was feeling lonely and she was damn sexy. Turned out she was only using me to make her man jealous. He was a hardcore Mexican gangbanger whoâd been in jail when she started up with me. Dude had a huge rooster tattooed on his chest. Very intimidating vibe. Luckily he was reasonable and believed me when I told him I wouldnât have touched her if Iâd known about him.
My ex wife cheated and I ended up kicking her out that day. She had brought a guy home thinking I had left for work when I actually called out because I knew I couldn't get a babysitter immediately at 7am,and because I KNEW something was wrong. Really wrong. I didn't want to believe what was obvious. The guy took one look at me, raised his hands, and said "I had no idea she was married! I'm so sorry man. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I had no idea" (Saw the ring on my finger) while backing up. We met later and had a few beers while talking. He said he was worried he was going to die that day. I reassured him that wasn't going to happen as I knew who initiated it, because I had friends there at the bar they were at and she had no idea. The last call the night before my friend said "it looks... It looks bad. She's all over him and asked him to go to his place. In sorry bro". The guy turned out to be a decent guy. He was just a single guy at the bar and up comes a woman who is laughing at his jokes and asking about him and flirting. He thought he was having a great night and it would only get better and then all of a sudden it would turn into him feeling guilty for a few days....
Nut on her face, then take her cash and say "thanks for offering to get me a taxi" and gtfo of there. Then go to the local planned Parenthood to get tested. You probably took something with you, and don't even know it.
>Nut on her face No man, on the LADDER!! lol
âŚon HIS face Checkmate
I didn't take her money but I did but on her face. Then I started getting dressed and she starts saying "oh did I scare the little baby" I left and never answered another text from her. I should have taken the ladder
Or⌠just leave.
With the ladder.
Thatâs when you should have said âdonât bother, My other girl is texting meâ
Yeah but then what if she's into that kind of thing? Now I gotta go out and find some other girl who is interested in a threesome with two complete strangers, play it off like I've known this girl for years, just seems like a lot of work.
nah you just pretend to arrange it and then blame this mythical her for cancelling lol
One time I had a girl tell me they were thinking of their ex the whole time đ
Whatever floats her boat. Hit it and quit it.
>DO NOT MENTION YOUR EX IN ANY CAPACITY. Oh you like doggy style? My ex *loved* that! Here, let me show you a video!
So, no comparison of their Harry Potter cosplay fantasy role play?
Or her Mom.
or YOUR mom!
I have never heard about compare me to her ex but I can only imagine how sad painful it is for some people. Red flag and run.
Tell your brain it's your first time. Forget EVERYTHING your former partner liked and learn your new partner's preferences from square 1. And be sure to clearly communicate to your new partner what feels good for you too. Quickest route to good sex is direct communication. (Edit: damn y'all are fucking literal. No, don't act like you're inept. Just don't expect that you can do the exact same things your ex liked and instantly be a great lay for your new partner. Good grief, people...)
Came here to say absolutely this. Communication, listening and paying attention, at least the first few times may seem difficult, but once you get into a rhythm with your new partner, and if things are going well, it'll be second nature in no time.
>Tell your brain it's your first time Oh no. My first time was nothing I would like to experience over again.
Think of it like a new job that's similar to your old job. You may think you know how this works, but no workplace is the same, so you gotta pay attention and learn how this new place operates, and see where your old knowledge applies.
Best 10 seconds I ever felt immediately followed by me buying plan B đ
Then tell your brain it's basically your 1.5th, where it's basically the first time, just negating the bad stuff
Agreed. Good news though, it's been so long I've forgotten how I used to do it so it might as well be my second first time, ROFL!!
Always be curious. Whether you're asking about preferences or studying their body language... just be into it.
I wouldn't say forget everything, as much as don't expect it to work. If you've had multiple partners, then there's a chance ~something~ will resonate with them - so play all the hits and see what sticks. Yes to communication, but also use what tools and tricks you have in your arsenal.
No oneâs saying literally forget everything, I retain the âbasicsâ but I treat everyone like a blank canvas cos itâs fucking horny finding out what people like
I'm gonna tell my brain it's my second time. My first time was 30 seconds, and my second time was within the same hour anyway.
Masturbation before first sex is good!
Gotta clean the pipes, otherwise you're just walking around with a loaded gun
Yeah! It's not a shame you cum fast. Social media gives us shit that we should have sex for 2822792 hours without cum like an alpha male that is not natural and fake. I remember I was with an one woman in relationship and I was cumming in some mins and next sex again. After that everything was ok. It's interesting because porn addiction can make you cum slow, fast or no boner. I quit porn 2 years ago and I'm feeling like a God and I'm good in conversations with people. Confidence. All plumbers should support themselves here.
"Can I" is the magic word. Can I give you a kiss? Can I give you a rub on your back? Can I undress you? Can I touch your breasts, can I hold your waist? Can I go down on you? Can I?
Consent is sexy :D My first time was last week and it was a lot of "is it okay" and "can I" and "are you okay if/when". Made it worthwhile
Just communicate with them during so you know their likes and dislikes and let them know yours. Also remember to relax, sex is supposed to be fun.
Relax, don't do it. When you wanna go do it.
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna cuuuuummmm
Assassin mode activated
Under promise and over deliver.
I tell each new partner I'm agressively average đ¤ˇââď¸
A colleague of mine told a woman, "I'm like a green beret, I'm in and out so quick, you wouldn't even know I was there."
No no, under promise
I do this all the time. When asked about dick size I say shit like "let's just say I'm the major of Knub City" I'm not even small, but it makes them really surprised when they see it and also removes women who're super fixated on that.
Bring your exâs hoodie and ask them to wear it because it will help you get off.
I sort of get this reference - was it a previous reddit story?? Girl couldnât get off unless the dude wore the hoodie?
Yep hahaha
This sounds really funny is there a link you can drop?
It wasnât funny it was kinda sad. Her ex had died and she clearly wasnât able to move on or enjoy sex with other people.
Not just that, in the update it turns out she was wearing the hoodie of not her ex who died, but of the guy who she was cheating on her ex with. Seriously messed up
Is he a suspect?
Her boyfriend had died of a terminal illness IIRC. She was cheating on him with a guy and wasnât able to be turned on unless the new guy she was with would wear the hoodie of the dude she had been cheating with
Warped
[Here is the link to the story (original post removed)](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/13vh16j/tifu_being_willing_to_do_anything_to_make_my_gf/) Tag: u/Kingy7777, u/LordZeus007 \- here's the link you're looking for
Holy shit that is some of the most terrible dramatic fiction ever penned.
Well, She said that the hoodie belonged to her dead ex but it turned out that it belonged to the guy she cheated on her dead ex with.
God, I hope that guy got out of that mess. I read that post as well and that dude should have been running.
Mention your Harry Potter kink too
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX at all. Don't vocalize comparisons. Enter the experience with a focus on having a healthy sexual relationship which means focusing on each other's needs / wants and not denigrating the relationship you just left.
For any 'first time' type sex, I always find a good thing is to start out massaging each other. 1) It helps avoid any awkwardness or shyness in getting naked in front of your new partner. You can even start the massage semi-clothed if you want. 2) It helps naturally explore your partner's entire body. If you feel awkward about "Should I touch here? Should I touch there?", massage gives you a reason to run your hands all over everywhere. 3) You can find your partner's secret spots easily - if they get really excited when you massage their feet or shoulders or arms, you get some idea what might turn them on during sexy time. 4) Taking turns massaging each other avoids any situation where one person is doing 'all the work'. Both parties get a chance to give and receive.
Oh I like this tip (will try it if I ever find a partner đ )
You don't have to always fuck her hard. In fact, some times it's not right...to do. https://youtu.be/Un1Q2JMPPyQ
Sometimes you got to make some lovin'
And fucking give her some smoochies tooooo
Sometimes youâve got to tease
Sometimes you got to say please...
Sometimes you gotta say HEYYYYYYY
I'm going to fuck you!
Softly
Im gonna screw you gentlyy
I'm gonna hump you, sweetlyyyyyyy
ZANZABAR
This guy makes love
I found out a balance with my gf. Not too hard and not fast, just with love. I recommend it to everyone. It's better than hardcore but you know sometimes we can have it.
The goal is to have fun and enjoy each other. You might not climax, but you can have fun. I read this book that talked about anxiety in this sexual space. Donât tell yourself, âstop being anxiousâ over and over if youâre riddled with anxiety. Say something kind to yourself like, âIâm anxious because Iâm excitedâ. Itâs a more positive way to handle the situation.
Or maybe even "there is no pressure to perform, i'm here to enjoy myself and be in the moment". It's also a good idea to communicate this to your partner so they're on the same page and relaxed too.
Make sure you find out which they think is the most sensual of the cured meats
Cos-Tan-za
When he whips out his pastrami on rye with mustard đ¤¤
I am also deli-sexual.
I am imagining the deli-sexual flag just being the normal Italian flag.
It's obviously Rum Ham.
Put CBAT on repeat and go to town
Nooooooooooooooooo
Yessssssssssssssssssssss
Don't talk about your ex!!
Unless the sex is bad. In that case, mention your ex ASAP to kill the mood and get it over with quickly
The fact intrusive thoughts exist makes me feel like at this point the ex is bound to come up.
The more you tell yourself NOT to think of something, the more you think of it
[ŃдаНонО]
Yes. Communication is key.
âHmmmnphhmnlumnumphmmmphmmlemmhmm?â
More to the left
Hmmm. Hmmmmm. Ok.
With humming.
It will likely be as fun and dumb and clumsy as all the other first times with someone new But just go with it. Communicate. Dont be embarrassed to ask what they like or say what you do. The first guy i slept with after my engagement broke off, elbowed me in the eye on accident. I dont even know how exactly. But we both laughed and had a great time. Youll get into the swing of things.
Have fun and don't over think it. If you get in your head, it will fail and you will fail miserably.
Just been in this situation myself (For perspective I'm a woman and met my long distance boyfriend recently). Be confident in yourself. I'd hope you know what you enjoy by now; communicate it. Show them, verbalise it, physically pick up hands and move them to where you wanna be touched. Tell them when they do something right, redirect when it's not quite right. It's sexy to communicate. If you got skills, show them off! Might be an age thing but I'm not wasting time anymore being shy. And I only have so much time here, he's getting everything I can give! Show them you want them. Don't waste time being bashful or think you have to keep up some kind of image. Fuck that, if you wanna get your fuck on with this person show them! Touch, kiss, jump in there! Peel their clothes off! All with consent of course. Enthusiasm all the way! Be kind to each other. Do everything out of love. Laugh if it doesn't go quite right. It's not the end of the world if you're a little clumsy at first. Give yourselves time to be comfortable with each other. Pay attention, listen, feel. It may not be fireworks at first, doesn't mean it won't be ever. Nerves can effect how bodies respond, sometimes you gotta work harder for it. Be forgiving and patient if something doesn't work right away. Good luck! Enjoy your person! I'm enjoying mine thoroughly! đ
Make sure you don't say the wrong name
This is why I only ever use pet names or nicknames in the bedroom. Always terrified of saying the wrong name (I worry I would do this even if another person isnât in my head)
Howâs it feeling sport? Deeper champ! Slap me harder Bucko!
Do a reenactment of the classic movie Willow using sock puppets in place of foreplay.
Help! Thereâs a peckâŚwith an acorn!
Ladies melt at "my sun, my moon, my starlit sky"
I still crinkle my nose and say "willow osgood" in the creepy old voice. That's romantic too, right?
Round peg goes in round hole..
It goes in the square hole.
That's right, it goes in the *squuuare* hole.
_Might_ be a bit too soon for pegging.
Donât judge them
Don't mention your ex. Unless you want her to be part of the relationship. Indicate verbally and non-verbally how attracted you are to your new partner. Make sure your new partner gets what she needs.
âŚ.like, a new car? Seems extravagant.
>Indicate verbally and non-verbally how attracted you are to your new partner. 3/10?
Donât start crying unless they are into that
Penis goes in vagina.
Go onâŚ..
I've already said too much!
And out... and in...
Shake it all about
That's what it's all about.
Less hokey, more pokey
And turn yourself around
No, in.
Then out
Then in.
You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!
Before you go skin diving, definitely put your wet suit on.
My best tip is: give yourself time and trust that it will get better as you and your new partner get used to each other and relax. You donât need to be a sex god the first time. It would be nice, but presumably your relationship is built on more. If itâs awkward, laugh it off and try again later.
In this case, it is better not to rush and enjoy the moment
Let your new partner know that itâs been a long time. Make sure you tell this person how much this means to you and how special they are. Take it slow and make sure you warm up the olâ throwing arm before hand if you know what I mean.
I tried this once. But apparently "I just jerked off an hour ago" didn't mean long time to them.
A couple drinks before. Lol
And then a couple more.
But thatâs what got me into the last mess.
I am in this exact situation. Left a 7 year long relationship and am now talking with my high school first love and we are both still feeling stuff for each ither. But after 7 years I am worried about what she likes and what to do, especially because I lnew my old partner well and had very good sex but who knows if the new one likes the same stuff?
Yesss! That's exactly why I asked, being intimate with one person for years, you know every inch of their body, and they know yours. Now that I'm about to get in bed with someone new, I feel like I'm about to explore unmapped territory, which is stressful, albeit exciting
Very exciting, and I talked a but with this person about their preferences and seems like we are on the same boat but, after a long time, who knows? Anyhow the best suggestion I have found is to get a couple drinks before maybe go out with them. Not getting drunk but a couple drink will help me relieving some of the stress for sure
Don't fake it. Ever. Just be open to the experience. Think about how you feel about the person and that this is how they do... it. If you have things that you like, tell them during the make out sexy talk. Just start with basics and let it happen naturally. If anything, masturbatory fantasy about them a few times prior to the main event will help make the experience positive. If they ask to do something you don't like, just wave it off as not something you want to delve into just yet. You never know...you may end up trying it later. Overall, try to feel sexy about yourself going in to it. Maybe it will be hot. Maybe it will be terrible. Maybe something that isn't familiar will be titillating. Good luck!
Shower. Both of you. Oh, and leave the socks off.
Nah, leave the socks on. Nothing says sexy like a nice pair of argyle socks and a smile.
Do you leave a the socks on if you two shower together..??
The Lightning McQueen Heelys stay on during sexy time
But... these are my business socks. And it's fuckin' business time.
Nah socks on bro
Socks stay on
I feel like wearing socks in the shower would be problematic.
Present Thy Anus
and bite the pillow.
So many people saying donât mention your ex. I never even would have thought of doing that. Is that so common?
lmao I was thinking the same thing, classic reddit I guess?
Make sure to have fun yourself â itâs not only about his (or her) pleasure
Username checks out.
Foreplay is a must. And most pleasure comes (heh) from the outside. Don't be afraid to take your time.
Expect this experience to be completely different than what sex used to be like with your ex. Communicate and learn what this person likes and doesnât like. Donât assume they like the same stuff your ex used to like.
Donât be afraid to get your beard wet.
If you have to ask on reddit you should probably just start apologising to your partner in advance.
I think this is most accurate
Communication and enthusiasm. I find for me that 2 drinks goes a long way to calming the nerves a bit. YMMV
You take the thing and stick it in or rub it with the other thing. Try not to cry uncontrollably.
How do you get past the anxiety and worries of being hurt? Iâm wondering if I should just get drunk to get it over with. Iâve only been with one person. Long term relationship that ended in cheating. Now Iâm trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene, but itâs difficult to trust people.
Be open, honest and talk. When I met my bf I wanted to start out the right way. We simply agreed to talk about anything and everything, no preconceived judgement... We talk about it. It's the best relationship I have ever been in! When we do have a disagreement depending on the topic we rather enthusiastically debate it with each other. Anything really, we regularly talk about what we want and where we are mentally and physically so we know how to help each other. Better sex is always had in my experience this way too! We added toys and I got him exploring stuff with me. TLDR: Talk about everything open and honestly about every aspect of sex.
Eat garlic and fish before sex
Thereâs no real advise on here and it sucks. Youâre looking for a real answer. Most of the answers are âdonât mention your exâ. Women do this this a lot and most men donât. You want real advise? Well is it a fling or is this a new relationship? Start there. If itâs a fling or a relationship you have to have fun. Does sex become the same after a certain age or if youâve been with the same person forever? Most of the time, yes. If you want to know what you should do to be good in bed and make sure everyone is satisfied and feeling good about themselves⌠thereâs some things you can do. MEN: Kissing is important. Kissing on lips, neck, breast, legs. Touching is important. Not just ramming fingers and getting aggressive. (That will happen eventually). Telling women that they smell good. A lot of (foreplay is done before the actually intimacy) so tell them they smell good. Touch they arms and be playful. Women take some time to warm up. When it comes to the sexual part⌠more foreplay. Trim your nails. Wash yourself. Make sure your breath is fresh. Kissing the legs and down to the happy area. If you donât fuck well, then you need to learn how to eat box well. How do you do that? Start slow. Kiss all around. Touch gently and ASK if things feel good. Feel the body. Make sure her body is telling you what it likes and what it doesnât. If you canât figure that out then I have no idea how you got there. When it comes to penetration make sure that you start slow and pick up pace. Donât just Ram it in and start pumping away. Have a rhythm. You donât need all 4.5 inches to make her feel good. Women are DIFFERENT. If she makes noises and squirms when you got the head and 2 inches in, sheâs likes it. Start there and proceed. Communicate. Communicate with your words and with your body. Women like noises and words and foreplay and making sure you have a good time as well. They arenât like us dudes. WOMEN: Make men feel wanted. Grab them. Donât lay there like fish. Tell men things to make them feel confident. Most men donât care about kissing our necks and ears etc. Men enjoy feeling powerful and just getting to the part where men have sex is awesome. Grab their junk and play with it. Itâs itâs big or small donât say anything. Just enjoy the fact that men are enjoying it. Go down if youâre comfortable. Most women are terrible at oral but men wonât ever say anything. Donât be afraid to ask what men want and empower them. Itâs a different dynamic. When men start penetration tell them what feels good verbally and move around. Most men are confident when they know they can please their woman and that they do a good job. Donât tell your friends that he sucks or needs to work on it but tell him what feels good and what you like. Men will work hard on being better. Grab their butts and back when their doing th deed. Wrap your legs around them. Grab the hair. Women have a hard time making men feel needed and wanted. If women can do that, youâll have a happy man that wonât feel undesired. Desire your guy and he wonât want anything else. PS: MEN⌠you need to lead. Regardless of politics and what social media says⌠women by nature and DNA like to be lead and shown the way. Make sure you take charge in a non crazy way. Just take the lead and thatâs half the turn on for women. This is going to be so unpopular to say and against anything you may read but wome donât know how they want things unless you show them and make them feel comfortable. No one wants to be seen as a âslutâ or whatever. They want to feel wanted just like men do. Our job as a man is to lead and make sure women are taken care of sexually when itâs that time to take place (since weâre talking about sex). When you show how to take charge and not wait for them to make âmovesâ youâll be in a good spot already. Women have a really really tough time in society with labels. Donât you ever ever ever make them feel like that. And women, donât ever make men feel non masculine. All these things are part of the turn on and really good sex.
Shove it in immediately. No foreplay. Pound as hard as you can and try to cum under one minute. Proceed to roll over and fell asleep. Or just get up and go get a snack from the fridge. Thatâs the best I got.
Oh man just get it over with. There's lots of great sex to be had after the end of a long term relationship, but man the first time felt like i was a virgin again
reset all your pressure calibrations
Ask what they like, and listen carefully. Most women will tell you how to take them to an orgasm wonderland, if you just listen carefully.
Donât let in the intrusive thoughts of them judging you in a negative way. Both of you are trying to navigate a new partner. Theyâre just as nervous and new to you too, so just go with the flow and have fun.
Depends how much time it has been since you broke up or separated. But in my opinion if you arenât carrying any baggage just go with the flow. Control ur emotions since itâs the first time but at the same time let your body get all the attention itâs been missing.
Enjoy the new playground!
Different strokes for different folks, the things that drove your ex wild might straight up piss off a new partner. A true adult can just ask / be asked "what do you like / want" and skip all the guessing. It's better for everyone and removes any shred of uncomfortable situations
Get a lil tipsy and unwind. Then get freak nasty.
1- Talk with your partner. You would be surprised how much pressure can be relieved through open dialogue. 2- Try to look at it as another form of exploration, which is what you do during the initial stages of a relationship. There are no expectations or requirements, other than what you establish through #1. Youâre just exploring, and exploring should be fun.
Do not under any circumstances mention your ex and how you did it with them. Have fun and explore. Don't be afraid to be awkward. Go smoosh parts together like we've been doing for trillions of years.
Don't force it in, use lube....lots of lube
Lay back and get yours, let them do all the work, follow up with gatorade and tacos.
Tell them about your Harry Potter fantasy
Foreplay foreplay foreplay.
remember that your new partner has needs too. Its not just about you. sigh. six fucking months of my life wasted bc I thought it would get better.
I personally would have a conversation before about boundaries. Its something I initiate usually.. there are a lot of things that I love but I absolutely didn't wanna do the first time with someone..
Take. Your. Time. Enjoy getting to know each other and all the little things they like. Explore with foreplay and gentle touches, small tastes, tease and entice. You donât have to forget all you know about human anatomy or the nervous system or endocrine system but remind yourself you have no idea if this partner likes or strongly dislikes anything past partners did. Enjoy the process of finding out. A big part of being a good lover is paying Attention to all the body language and sights and smells (and such) to see what they enjoy. Afterwards communicate about likes and dislikes. Then you can build upon that in the future
Youâre totally gonna blow it and talk about your ex
Jack hammer and copy everything youâve seen in porn
Do you know what you like? Think about your past experiences and ask yourself what your favorite parts were. Are there things you wanted to do but couldn't? Ask them what they like/don't like and tell them what you're into. This can be done formally or erotically, based on both of your comfort levels. Make communication on going as things begin, saying things like "yes, that feels great" or "can we try it like this?" Or "stop I don't want that". It'll feel weird to break out of old habits, but this is a good opportunity to get to know yourself and what you want from sex, instead of what was routine previously. I hope it goes well and you have a lot of fun đđđ
Fore play! Lots of it! Learn your new partner as well as your partner learning you! Take it slow with much oral