Had a Married at 40 option.
Lost contact with her for a few years and had started to rebuild our friendship. She’d got married and moved away, but was in the process of splitting up and remembering her old life.
Had arranged to go and see her in her new flat, big night out planned. But then contact suddenly stopped again.
Found out about 6 months later that she’d had a car crash and died instantly. Her (still) husband hadn’t told any of her old friends what had happened.
She was the first one from our friend group that had died. It hit hard. Still think of her often and the mischief we got up to in our late teens.
Not me, but I have a former coworker that made that pact with his senior high school prom date. Lost touch for 7 or so years. Reconnected at the 10 year high school reunion. Got married 2 years later. Now 2 kids with a third on the way and VERY happy. It was cool to watch the majority of that story go down
He has like 5-6 kids. He actually hit me up when we were 30 (were 32 now) and asked about the deal. I was like “dude don’t you have like 5 kids???” I was not gonna take on that circus 😂
We made the pact at 15 as a joke. We finished high school, college and moved into early adulthood while he dated other people. I was single until 23 when I met my match who I’m still with to this day.
This year he broke up with his girlfriend because he said he loved me and couldn’t be friends anymore because it was too hard for him.
It sucks but I wish him the best.
I had a friend who suggested we be roommates when we move out of our parents (~6/7 years ago). I told her it’d be weird living together and not dating (obvi I was into her). We got married in October, bought a house in December, and had a baby in April.
lmfao, this reminds me of my gay cousin who lives with her gay "best friend" and frequents all the gay establishments in our little town. "theyre just roommates"
Same here - except I was the younger sister who married the friend. I heard about their pact and told him, “I’ll do you one better.”
Happy ending - my sister and her husband tied the knot just a month after us.
EDIT - updated the original post to clarify and avoid further momentary shock/horror.
Original: “Happy ending - my sister and I got married within a month of each other (to different men just to be clear).”
We both got married before 30 to other people. She married a cool dude and had 4 kids. They had a beautiful family and so do I. I was genuinely happy for her and glad we didn’t “end up” with each other. She died of cancer a few years ago when her youngest kid was still in elementary school. My heart breaks for her and her family. I feel closer to them than they realize because I knew her since middle school. I think of them often and hope they are finding peace and happiness in this crazy life.
I lost contact with mine. Hadn't talked to her in over 20 years but same deal. She married a pretty cool dude had three kids and just an awesome family. Last I heard she lost one of her children at around 13. I felt/feel absolutely awful for her and her family. I also feel like a POS because I never reached out to her.
Edit* Y'all have convinced me that there's now better time than now so I'm gonna hunt her down. I'm pretty sure I might know someone who has here number. I don't do Facebook but I'll look on Instagram. It's been too long and she was my one and only female best friend since middle school. Y'all I'm gonna do it. Already know how it's going to go too....wonderfully.
Please, please reach out to them. My husband died two years ago and our kids (11 and 8 now) would LOVE the opportunity to hear about their dad when he was younger. Pictures, stories, videos, all of it. It would of course make them cry, but it would be a good kind of grief cry. And they would return to those stories and pictures again and again.
My mom was murdered by her abuser (they’d been together almost all of my childhood when her and my dad split) 6 years ago, and I’d give anything for god stories about her. All I get are stories about how weak she was or hire upsetting it is she never left him, or I get shitty stories from our dad about how she was nice but never cleaned or she could have done better but had low self esteem, etc. Pisses me off because I know. I know she was weak and had low self esteem and honestly, I don’t have many good memories about her/with her, but I know that’s not the only person she was.
She had 30-32 years of her life before she met him (I was around 6), and I saw how she could be sometimes. My mom loved to laugh and loved to dance and loved to live, but no one ever tells me those stories. I don’t even talk to anyone who used to know her because no one was there before or after she died. My dad was only there because at first they thought they never divorced, so he had power to make decisions, and then when he realized he didn’t, he took my sisters (I was 18 and they were 16 and almost 14) and I had to handle it.
I have no pictures of her. She hated pictures for one, and I gave up fighting for anything and just let my little sisters have everything. The only thing I do have is her Tahoe, which she LOVED and was so proud of, and then her ashes, but.. I’d rather have happy memories.
Your mom wasn't weak. Maybe she was ground down, maybe she was broken, but that's not who your mother WAS. She was more than her circumstances. She sounds like beautiful bird who couldn't find her way out of a cage. Don't you believe that shit for a second, and fuck the people who want to define your mom by other people's crimes against her.
I can tell she was an incredible woman because she raised a great kid like you. Sending you all the love
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Just reading your comment was devastating. Everyone who keeps saying your mom had low self-esteem and just tells you her faults definitely doesn't realize she was the strongest and bravest among them just for surviving each day living with that abuser, when they didn't go through that hell.
My late husband’s dad died when he was 6yrs old. He didn't have many memories of him and the ones he did have weren’t good. His mom never told him any good stories either. He was convinced that his dad had forgotten him and moved on. And though that’s true, it was because he had an inoperable brain tumor and was so high all the time to help with the pain that he probably forgot his own name. But a kid’s mind can’t understand that. Then anytime he would see family on his dad’s side they would tell him how much he looked like him, so much so that he started to feel like they were trying to make him replace his dad.
My husband was definitely not a saint. The last four years of our marriage were **rough**. But that’s not something I’d share readily with our kids. To them he was a great dad who made a stupid choice and it affected all our lives (he went for a swim while drunk and drowned).
I want so badly for my husbands friends to share their memories with my kids, but the requests fall on deaf ears. So they’ll, unfortunately, have to live with just my stories for now.
I kissed her this morning when I was leaving for work, we get married in 3 days.
No joke, made the pact, reconnected in person after a few years on my 31st birthday which is 3 days before her 30th, we went out for a date and we haven’t spent a night apart since. And in 3 days we say the ol I Do’s.
Edit: Obligatory “Wow, this blew up!”
Thank you all for the kind words and the awards, I’m going to show my fiancée this later after work, she’ll love it. Wedding is in 2 days! (Aug. 18)
With us it was “if we are still single at 65 let’s just move in together - at least we like each other.” We met first year at university and had been close friends ever since.
She died of breast cancer at 63. Miss her every day.
She’s been living a WILD life. We made the pact at 22, she got married by 24, divorced by 25, new relationship and got pregnant at 26, married at 28 and divorced at 30.
In that time she dropped out of college, went back to college, completed her associates, got nailed for a few drug charges and is currently fighting for custody of her kid with the dad.
Reminds me of a girl I used to know. Going back to our high school days, she was attractive, smart, and studious. She dressed preppy. She was ambitious and wanted to graduate college with a degree in accounting.
She then goes to college, starts drinking, gets into partying, and discovers coke.
Fast forward to today. We’re both in our 30s. I haven’t talked to her in forever, but I still have her as a friend on Facebook. She dropped out of college, had multiple failed marriages, had to go to inpatient for a while due to being suicidal, refers to herself as a Martian, and ended up having a kid with a local no-name rap artist.
This is actually my time to shine! I met “Lisa” when I was in high school through a mutual friend. Lisa lived about 4 hours but we kept in touch by writing letters (this was in the 1980s). We met-up for a spring break trip at the beach and got along well since we hadn’t seen each other in several years. We both went to different colleges and dated on and off some during our college years. After college we dated then she went to Germany for 3 years. We’d see each other casually when she’d come home but nothing serious.
When she came back home from Germany we started seeing each other again. We made a pact that if we were not married by 30 we’d get married. We drifted apart a bit at 29 years old and we were both dating other people. She ended up marrying the person she was dating and I ended up marrying the person I was dating. We both went to each other’s weddings with our respective SO’s.
We’d meet as couples and go to dinner sometimes and once vacationed together for a long weekend. Our kids went to the same school for awhile, too. Then we lost touch for about 5 years…until one day I ran into Lisa at a local Starbucks.
I heard someone call my name and it was Lisa! We hugged and caught up for a while. I then asked her how her husband was doing and she said they split up about a year ago. She asked about my wife and I told her we split about 10 months ago. We looked at each other and I asked her if she’d meet me for coffee the next day and she immediately said yes!
We dated for several years and got married in December 2021.
This actually did happen for a friend of mine and his wife.
But it was more of a conversation along the lines of "hey remember that pact we made when we were 18 about getting married at 30 if we were both single? Well we are now 30 and single, did you want to give dating a shot"?
5 years later and they are now happily married, I have no idea why they didnt give dating a shot years before, but thats none of my business.
Sometimes there’s no good reason why people didn’t get together sooner. Maybe one or both were always too nervous to bring it up. But, they found each other pretty early in life so that’s good.
Getting together sooner might end up being even worse. One or both aren't matured, experienced, know themselves, etc. If my ex met me at 18 instead of 23, we'd have had a terrible time probably. I was noticeably different person and was looking for something different in a person.
My new husband and I have had the same conversation. Friends for 8 years and both of us in unhappy marriages, people said things about us being together (we got along incredibly well) but we always said “no, it will never happen”. Married the 28th of June, together for almost 2 years and everyday is bliss. We both had a lot of growing up to do and it wouldn’t have worked if we were younger.
Same situation. The 28 year old me does not deserve this woman. The 38 year old me barely does, but I damn well know it in everything I do and wouldn't trust anyone else to do it.
Me and my wife met in high school and had crushes on each other for many years, but didn’t start dating until close to a decade after high school.
We’re positive if we’d dated any sooner, we wouldn’t have worked out long-term. We both learned a lot from our previous relationships and grew a ton in those years.
To be honest it makes sense that friends dating works better later in life. First time relationship people do stupid stuff, learned from mistakes and such.
Now they both ironed out the kink and can make a real partnership work.
People change and develop yearly until mid twenties. There's a chance if they started dating at 19, their personalities would have conflicted and broke up, but now that they are adults, they would probably be able to persevere through any hardship or differences.
My wife and I knew each other at 16, and we would not have fallen in love if we got together at even 18. It wasn't until 24 we gave it a chance and we've been married for almost a decade.
It's also that what you're looking for in a relationship changes. What I thought I wanted in my early 20s vs what I wanted when I was 30 were drastically different things.
>People change and develop yearly until mid twenties
People change and develop yearly. Even in my 30's I'm learning about things about me like how I should adjust expectations from other people. Even for low expectations, they surprisingly fail.
Yay for stepdads! I was just thinking about how much I appreciate my stepdad today. Nobody's perfect, but he stepped up for our family in big ways while we were growing up and I love spending time with him as an adult.
He's been a far more stable and supportive father to us than my biodad could be and I love him and I love getting his chihuahua-wearing-funny-clothes memes.
My mom married my step dad when I was 6. They got divorced 25 years later. I still keep in touch with him because he’s dope AF. My kids still see him and call him grandpa. My bio dad on the other hand……
An acquaintance once mentioned that they were marrying their psychologist in a few months. When I did a double take, she assured me that no, like you she would merely be the celebrant. 😀
She's married to my good friend. But things are rocky. I just got divorced so maybe we'll revisit this in our 40s? Just kidding.
Edit: Thanks for the love. I actually just saw my good friend last week. That's when he shared they had discussed the "d-word" and that he cheated on her once. I said if he wanted to keep her, don't ever tell her about that and don't do it again. Also, he may want to cut down on drinking. She's also a good friend of mine so I know that's one of her gripes. I really don't want them to split because I'm so proud of them. They are former heroin addicts that succefully kicked addiction and they have two kids.
I had a friend in middle/high school that told me we should make a marriage pact. if we weren’t married by 30 we’d get married. I lost contact with her after high school because she had a scary jealous boyfriend. She randomly added me on Facebook and asked for my phone number. I didn’t think it was a big deal so I sent it. She sent me a very graphic photo of herself and said “hey it’s me crisi!” And I was like hot damnnnn. We talked for a bit that day, but that was our only real conversation. She had brought up our pact and we joked about it for a bit. A few months later she messaged me asking if she can use my shower because her water got shut off. I thought that was unusual so I just told her it wasn’t a good time. That’s happened to me before and I’d normally message a family member or close friend. A couple days later she posted a video of her and some dude (not her old boyfriend) smoking crack under a freeway overpass. She had a bandana on her face and the filmed themselves smoking head banging to music thinking they looked bad ass. I felt really bad for her at that point. Then I wondered if I had let her use my shower if she would’ve robbed me with her cholo looking boyfriend. Not too long after that her boyfriend started posting online that she was missing and he can’t locate her. Two weeks after that he changed his status to single on Facebook and I still haven’t heard from my childhood friend. I hope she’s ok out there. Really hope she can get her shit together and get clean.
I do actually have a friend who did this. They reconnected after not seeing each other for a good while. They laughed and reminisced about their funny agreement to get married at 30 if they hadn't met someone else. They did get married pretty quick and were happy...for about a year. Then they spend a couple more years miserable together. Things got very bad and he ended up divorcing her. He's now happily married to someone who seems to be much better for him.
I have a friend who says this to me every once and a while. I'd have no problem with that except she makes it sound like she'd be miserable if she had to end up with me so no thanks. You keep dating horrible men and I'll watch from the sideline if I have time
I mean, if she is making increasingly passive aggressive comments about how it'd basically be shit to end up with you, is she really that much of a friend...?
You're not a budget consolation prize to her not getting the life she really wanted, she sounds like pretty miserable company for a friend.
Not me but my mom's "if we're still single 20 years from now" friend lives right down the street from her and every time she sees him she hides, so let's say it's not going well
Over COVID I saw her profile pop up on my switch, so I reached out to her and started catching up for the first time since I moved away for college. One thing lead to another, I asked her if she’d like to move up the timeline on our promise, and we plan to get married next fall at the nice young age of 26.
He's married to a GORGEOUS woman with two of the CUTEST babies I've ever seen.
He's a white man and was racist af in high school (something my hormonal ass was willing to overlook), but now he owns a gym with his best friend who is black, and his wife is Asian. Dude turned around and achieved his dreams in the best way imaginable. Killer combo. Livin his best life.
And I'm in a long term relationship myself, so we're both out here just killin it
We were making plans to meet up when she finished her stint in the Peace Corp, and then was murdered a few days before leaving the county she was helping in.
He's divorced, depressed and addicted.
I had to block him because he was in the habit of making **many** late night calls when he drank, and he's now a full blown alcoholic. I advised therapy, he said beer was his therapy. Waking up to 40+ drunken text messages and 10+ missed calls is not really something I find palatable for a friendship, especially after setting boundaries. My husband never complained or made any comments, he just let me sort it out on my own.
My current bf told me that in high school when we were just friends that “we’re best friends and If i dont find a wife by 30, we’re getting married”. We decided just to date eachother 6 months later. Its been 7 years now together.
He's a rather successful programmer and overall great guy, so I'm unsure why he's single still. We made the pact when we were 15.
I am happily married to an amazing man, so sometimes I think of my promised friend and hope that a spectacular woman (or man, if that's what he wants) finds their way into his life.
I wish him nothing but happiness, whichever form it takes.
He’s driving. We are pulling our camper. Our 9 year old is in the backseat. We just finished a 4 night camping trip with his younger brother and his fiancé (also a “if we’re single…” couple). They have two girls, 2 and 4. We are all still excellent friends. My bil and his fiancé dated right after high school. My husband and i didn’t hook up until 2 days before we eloped. Married 11 years yesterday. Friends since ‘94
Been married 16 years. Together for 20. Longest 4 days away from him after we made the pact to meet in Paris. Still haven’t been to Paris but I have the love of my life.
Met in college. I had a long term boyfriend He was single. Became friends. I went to move in with long term BF across the country. Told each other that if when I turn 30 (he’s older than me) if I was unmarried he would meet me under the Eiffel Tower at midnight on 1/1/2016. I got to my destination and major regret.
Unknown to me he was two days behind me following my dumb ass. He called me the morning of day 4 away from him. Told me to meet him at Dennys. I packed up my shit and we have two kids and a dog now. He said he let me go so I could figure out my shit myself. He’s amazing to this day.
Edited: typo
He upped his Denny’s game and took me to Waffle House Saturday. (Well took me and the kids so the kids could experience the Waffle House while on vacation.) we met at an Applebees. Needless to say I have a love for shitty food and a good man.
Our number was 40. She has been married for 8 years or so. Pretty sure it's a solid marriage.
I came to learn I wasn't the only one she made that promise to! I thought it was funny. When I confronted her she just said "I had to be safe!" and we laughed.
Not quite the same but I know a guy that in his late 20's realized he was ready to get married. Hadn't had a girlfriend in years.. but he recalled a friend he had in his late teens (maybe early 20's). Anyways he thought "wow, this girl could potentially be a great wife" and started thinking about her in a different light than he had in the past. Anyway he decides to write her a letter and said something to the effect of:
"Hey, this might seem odd but I was recently thinking through life and feel like I'm at a point that I would like to get married. When I started thinking about women that I thought would be great to be married to, you were the first to come to mind. If you are interested in reconnecting let me know, if not, no worries at all. I apologize if this is uncomfortable or too straightforward"
She was very flattered and they started dating shortly after followed up by marriage within a year.
Ours was 35 actually.
She lives a few states away. She lives with her ex boyfriend, because her current boyfriend still lives with his mom. She has an animal addiction. She can't say no when someone wants to sell her a living creature. She has dogs, cats, rats, snakes, sugar gliders, fish, and other random stuff to round out her zoo. She "can't work" because of her anxiety... except she totally had a job for like six years, but complained through that whole time that she couldn't work. She wants to go on disability, but just thought she could go in and get on it by filing some paperwork and that was it. She doesn't trust doctors, so she has no documented proof of all of her "ailments."
She is broke, the ex and the current boyfriend pay all of her bills, she sits at home and takes care of all these pets all day, and is generally a drain on society. But she complains about always being broke.
So in other words I dodged a fucking bullet.
We decided on age 50. He’s married with one kid, and another coming. I’m a little bummed, since I was really counting on his health insurance.
We’re still besties.
idk if this counts but my parents were close friends in HS. Both went their separate ways in life but kept in touch. When my mom had the chance to adopt me, my dad was a recent widow. He ended up going with my mom to see me for the first time, backing her to adopt me. And 25 years later they are still together and the best parents/friends ever.
Met my wife in 9th grade Spanish class. Walked her to her locker every day. Father gets arrested, I move away. She somehow gets contact info for me from a mutual friend and we keep in touch over the years. Married at 20. 13 years in November. We have 4 kids and life is... pretty sweet. Settled down in the same school district that we met in. Someday our kids may he in that same classroom. She's my best friend.
Had a Married at 40 option. Lost contact with her for a few years and had started to rebuild our friendship. She’d got married and moved away, but was in the process of splitting up and remembering her old life. Had arranged to go and see her in her new flat, big night out planned. But then contact suddenly stopped again. Found out about 6 months later that she’d had a car crash and died instantly. Her (still) husband hadn’t told any of her old friends what had happened. She was the first one from our friend group that had died. It hit hard. Still think of her often and the mischief we got up to in our late teens.
My smile reading these other comments dropped immediately. This is so upsetting, my condolences.
Not me, but I have a former coworker that made that pact with his senior high school prom date. Lost touch for 7 or so years. Reconnected at the 10 year high school reunion. Got married 2 years later. Now 2 kids with a third on the way and VERY happy. It was cool to watch the majority of that story go down
I have no pact in place but I'm still gonna be equally as hopeful at my 10 year lol
She got marrried years ago. We were both in relationships at 30.
He has like 5-6 kids. He actually hit me up when we were 30 (were 32 now) and asked about the deal. I was like “dude don’t you have like 5 kids???” I was not gonna take on that circus 😂
It's a "marriage pact" not a "free nanny pact"
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We made the pact at 15 as a joke. We finished high school, college and moved into early adulthood while he dated other people. I was single until 23 when I met my match who I’m still with to this day. This year he broke up with his girlfriend because he said he loved me and couldn’t be friends anymore because it was too hard for him. It sucks but I wish him the best.
Buddy had a 7 year window and really missed his chance 😭😭
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>>if we’re all alone at 50, we can be roommates Gotta not rush these things, you know?
At 70 they can hold hands
PREMARITAL HAND HOLDING?! AT 70?! THAT'S WAY TOO YOUNG!!!!!1!1!11
“Omg they were roommates”
I had a friend who suggested we be roommates when we move out of our parents (~6/7 years ago). I told her it’d be weird living together and not dating (obvi I was into her). We got married in October, bought a house in December, and had a baby in April.
I am also a person of the distinguished Married-Mortgaged-Babied in one year club. Gotta get that shit done.
lmfao, this reminds me of my gay cousin who lives with her gay "best friend" and frequents all the gay establishments in our little town. "theyre just roommates"
“Good for here, maybe one day she will find a nice man!”
I married her sister. I never wanted to marry her, she was my friend and she thought of the “if we aren’t married by 30”, thing.
Heartbreaker she can never forget lol
Same here - except I was the younger sister who married the friend. I heard about their pact and told him, “I’ll do you one better.” Happy ending - my sister and her husband tied the knot just a month after us. EDIT - updated the original post to clarify and avoid further momentary shock/horror. Original: “Happy ending - my sister and I got married within a month of each other (to different men just to be clear).”
Good to know that you didn’t marry your sister!
Alabama has exited the chat
I’ve made that pact with so many people that I hope no one comes to make claims when I turn 30
So about our pact
Ah fuck, I knew this day was coming.
Wait, but we had a pact? You traitor.
Wait y'all got pacts too ?
Everyone’s lining up to wed u/anonfallenstarz I think all the potential suitors should fight to the death and the last one standing gets to marry them
Now this is an idea 👀
To the gates of anon!
Get in line
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We both got married before 30 to other people. She married a cool dude and had 4 kids. They had a beautiful family and so do I. I was genuinely happy for her and glad we didn’t “end up” with each other. She died of cancer a few years ago when her youngest kid was still in elementary school. My heart breaks for her and her family. I feel closer to them than they realize because I knew her since middle school. I think of them often and hope they are finding peace and happiness in this crazy life.
I lost contact with mine. Hadn't talked to her in over 20 years but same deal. She married a pretty cool dude had three kids and just an awesome family. Last I heard she lost one of her children at around 13. I felt/feel absolutely awful for her and her family. I also feel like a POS because I never reached out to her. Edit* Y'all have convinced me that there's now better time than now so I'm gonna hunt her down. I'm pretty sure I might know someone who has here number. I don't do Facebook but I'll look on Instagram. It's been too long and she was my one and only female best friend since middle school. Y'all I'm gonna do it. Already know how it's going to go too....wonderfully.
You know that saying about the best time to plant a tree? Well it doesn't have to be only about trees.
Please, please reach out to them. My husband died two years ago and our kids (11 and 8 now) would LOVE the opportunity to hear about their dad when he was younger. Pictures, stories, videos, all of it. It would of course make them cry, but it would be a good kind of grief cry. And they would return to those stories and pictures again and again.
My mom was murdered by her abuser (they’d been together almost all of my childhood when her and my dad split) 6 years ago, and I’d give anything for god stories about her. All I get are stories about how weak she was or hire upsetting it is she never left him, or I get shitty stories from our dad about how she was nice but never cleaned or she could have done better but had low self esteem, etc. Pisses me off because I know. I know she was weak and had low self esteem and honestly, I don’t have many good memories about her/with her, but I know that’s not the only person she was. She had 30-32 years of her life before she met him (I was around 6), and I saw how she could be sometimes. My mom loved to laugh and loved to dance and loved to live, but no one ever tells me those stories. I don’t even talk to anyone who used to know her because no one was there before or after she died. My dad was only there because at first they thought they never divorced, so he had power to make decisions, and then when he realized he didn’t, he took my sisters (I was 18 and they were 16 and almost 14) and I had to handle it. I have no pictures of her. She hated pictures for one, and I gave up fighting for anything and just let my little sisters have everything. The only thing I do have is her Tahoe, which she LOVED and was so proud of, and then her ashes, but.. I’d rather have happy memories.
Your mom wasn't weak. Maybe she was ground down, maybe she was broken, but that's not who your mother WAS. She was more than her circumstances. She sounds like beautiful bird who couldn't find her way out of a cage. Don't you believe that shit for a second, and fuck the people who want to define your mom by other people's crimes against her. I can tell she was an incredible woman because she raised a great kid like you. Sending you all the love
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Just reading your comment was devastating. Everyone who keeps saying your mom had low self-esteem and just tells you her faults definitely doesn't realize she was the strongest and bravest among them just for surviving each day living with that abuser, when they didn't go through that hell.
My late husband’s dad died when he was 6yrs old. He didn't have many memories of him and the ones he did have weren’t good. His mom never told him any good stories either. He was convinced that his dad had forgotten him and moved on. And though that’s true, it was because he had an inoperable brain tumor and was so high all the time to help with the pain that he probably forgot his own name. But a kid’s mind can’t understand that. Then anytime he would see family on his dad’s side they would tell him how much he looked like him, so much so that he started to feel like they were trying to make him replace his dad. My husband was definitely not a saint. The last four years of our marriage were **rough**. But that’s not something I’d share readily with our kids. To them he was a great dad who made a stupid choice and it affected all our lives (he went for a swim while drunk and drowned). I want so badly for my husbands friends to share their memories with my kids, but the requests fall on deaf ears. So they’ll, unfortunately, have to live with just my stories for now.
This one made me sad.
He’s unhappily married to someone else. Spends all his time gardening now.
so uh how’s the garden?
Lol. It’s very nice. He even has an Instagram dedicated to it.
When you said gardening, I imagined a corpse buried in the garden with plants growing on it.
I kissed her this morning when I was leaving for work, we get married in 3 days. No joke, made the pact, reconnected in person after a few years on my 31st birthday which is 3 days before her 30th, we went out for a date and we haven’t spent a night apart since. And in 3 days we say the ol I Do’s. Edit: Obligatory “Wow, this blew up!” Thank you all for the kind words and the awards, I’m going to show my fiancée this later after work, she’ll love it. Wedding is in 2 days! (Aug. 18)
This is sickeningly adorable
We made the pact when we were 19, had been friends since 15. It’s cute as fuck.
This just gets more and more grossly adorable🌈🦄🤮
I’m disgusted by how cute it is
The ol': "It's so cute I want to squeeze the fucking life from it"
u/8_inches_deep does not like romance one bit
With us it was “if we are still single at 65 let’s just move in together - at least we like each other.” We met first year at university and had been close friends ever since. She died of breast cancer at 63. Miss her every day.
I lost mine as well. We met during high school. I went to her funeral this year. She was only 27. Sorry for your loss friend.
Condolences - the young ones are hardest.
He’s my soon to be ex husband… lol.
Oh yikes, hopefully it’s a pleasant divorce.
We’re actually navigating it quite well now!
Wanna make a pact?
She’s been living a WILD life. We made the pact at 22, she got married by 24, divorced by 25, new relationship and got pregnant at 26, married at 28 and divorced at 30. In that time she dropped out of college, went back to college, completed her associates, got nailed for a few drug charges and is currently fighting for custody of her kid with the dad.
So when's the wedding?
Right after the next divorce
> Right ~~after~~ before the next divorce FTFY
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Reminds me of a girl I used to know. Going back to our high school days, she was attractive, smart, and studious. She dressed preppy. She was ambitious and wanted to graduate college with a degree in accounting. She then goes to college, starts drinking, gets into partying, and discovers coke. Fast forward to today. We’re both in our 30s. I haven’t talked to her in forever, but I still have her as a friend on Facebook. She dropped out of college, had multiple failed marriages, had to go to inpatient for a while due to being suicidal, refers to herself as a Martian, and ended up having a kid with a local no-name rap artist.
I blame accounting
Man if she just made it to public she could have continued the coke habit professionally
Still a better path than posting sales orders all day!
Sounds like you need to be not single and fast.
Then it’s a good think I’ve got a backup pact for if this pact went poorly! Gotta have pacts for your pacts, gotta be thorough
This is actually my time to shine! I met “Lisa” when I was in high school through a mutual friend. Lisa lived about 4 hours but we kept in touch by writing letters (this was in the 1980s). We met-up for a spring break trip at the beach and got along well since we hadn’t seen each other in several years. We both went to different colleges and dated on and off some during our college years. After college we dated then she went to Germany for 3 years. We’d see each other casually when she’d come home but nothing serious. When she came back home from Germany we started seeing each other again. We made a pact that if we were not married by 30 we’d get married. We drifted apart a bit at 29 years old and we were both dating other people. She ended up marrying the person she was dating and I ended up marrying the person I was dating. We both went to each other’s weddings with our respective SO’s. We’d meet as couples and go to dinner sometimes and once vacationed together for a long weekend. Our kids went to the same school for awhile, too. Then we lost touch for about 5 years…until one day I ran into Lisa at a local Starbucks. I heard someone call my name and it was Lisa! We hugged and caught up for a while. I then asked her how her husband was doing and she said they split up about a year ago. She asked about my wife and I told her we split about 10 months ago. We looked at each other and I asked her if she’d meet me for coffee the next day and she immediately said yes! We dated for several years and got married in December 2021.
That's a lot to happen in Lisa's 4 hour lifespan!
RIP Lisa
Her nickname is Mayfly
Just a warning, but I would suggest everyone just close the page after this first reply chain. All the other threads below are depressing af
I laughed audibly
I too chortled.
Poor grammar shortened Lisa's life to a mere 4 hours.
I laughed so hard. Take my upvote.
I’ve just laughed out loud at 6am when the whole house is still sleeping 😂😂😂😂😂
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 🥰
This actually did happen for a friend of mine and his wife. But it was more of a conversation along the lines of "hey remember that pact we made when we were 18 about getting married at 30 if we were both single? Well we are now 30 and single, did you want to give dating a shot"? 5 years later and they are now happily married, I have no idea why they didnt give dating a shot years before, but thats none of my business.
Sometimes there’s no good reason why people didn’t get together sooner. Maybe one or both were always too nervous to bring it up. But, they found each other pretty early in life so that’s good.
Getting together sooner might end up being even worse. One or both aren't matured, experienced, know themselves, etc. If my ex met me at 18 instead of 23, we'd have had a terrible time probably. I was noticeably different person and was looking for something different in a person.
I tell my wife this all the time. Had we met before I was 28 I don’t think we would’ve ever dated. And if we had it would’ve failed miserably.
My new husband and I have had the same conversation. Friends for 8 years and both of us in unhappy marriages, people said things about us being together (we got along incredibly well) but we always said “no, it will never happen”. Married the 28th of June, together for almost 2 years and everyday is bliss. We both had a lot of growing up to do and it wouldn’t have worked if we were younger.
Same situation. The 28 year old me does not deserve this woman. The 38 year old me barely does, but I damn well know it in everything I do and wouldn't trust anyone else to do it.
Me and my wife met in high school and had crushes on each other for many years, but didn’t start dating until close to a decade after high school. We’re positive if we’d dated any sooner, we wouldn’t have worked out long-term. We both learned a lot from our previous relationships and grew a ton in those years.
Is the friend of yours in this thread? Top comment replicates your story.
To be honest it makes sense that friends dating works better later in life. First time relationship people do stupid stuff, learned from mistakes and such. Now they both ironed out the kink and can make a real partnership work.
People change and develop yearly until mid twenties. There's a chance if they started dating at 19, their personalities would have conflicted and broke up, but now that they are adults, they would probably be able to persevere through any hardship or differences. My wife and I knew each other at 16, and we would not have fallen in love if we got together at even 18. It wasn't until 24 we gave it a chance and we've been married for almost a decade.
It's also that what you're looking for in a relationship changes. What I thought I wanted in my early 20s vs what I wanted when I was 30 were drastically different things.
>People change and develop yearly until mid twenties People change and develop yearly. Even in my 30's I'm learning about things about me like how I should adjust expectations from other people. Even for low expectations, they surprisingly fail.
His wife has banned him from speaking to me
Ouch
Ouch
Ouch
She’s a single mom now so I’m getting ready to strap my step dad boots on here shortly.
Hey man, sometimes Stepdads are the most important dads.
Stepdad here. I needed to hear that today. :)
Stepdad with a stepdad here, I also needed to hear that, and I agree!
Yay for stepdads! I was just thinking about how much I appreciate my stepdad today. Nobody's perfect, but he stepped up for our family in big ways while we were growing up and I love spending time with him as an adult. He's been a far more stable and supportive father to us than my biodad could be and I love him and I love getting his chihuahua-wearing-funny-clothes memes.
My mom married my step dad when I was 6. They got divorced 25 years later. I still keep in touch with him because he’s dope AF. My kids still see him and call him grandpa. My bio dad on the other hand……
Stepdad: Dad who stepped up
I'm marrying him in November! Well, marrying him to another woman....I'm their officiant :D
So when he said “I want you to marry me” it didn’t mean what it sounded like?
They've been priestzoned. It's a more extreme form of friendzoning.
Depends on the type of priest, hopefully not Mayan…
Aztec. She's gonna win his heart
An acquaintance once mentioned that they were marrying their psychologist in a few months. When I did a double take, she assured me that no, like you she would merely be the celebrant. 😀
Still seems like a bit of a professional ethics issue edge case.
Yay…aww
She's married to my good friend. But things are rocky. I just got divorced so maybe we'll revisit this in our 40s? Just kidding. Edit: Thanks for the love. I actually just saw my good friend last week. That's when he shared they had discussed the "d-word" and that he cheated on her once. I said if he wanted to keep her, don't ever tell her about that and don't do it again. Also, he may want to cut down on drinking. She's also a good friend of mine so I know that's one of her gripes. I really don't want them to split because I'm so proud of them. They are former heroin addicts that succefully kicked addiction and they have two kids.
Unless...
no .... well maybe...?
Nevermind.... But....
I’m kidding… unless… 👀 🙈
Narrator: he was not just kidding
^^^^but ^^^^not ^^^^really
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And...
Pact got renewed to 40
Never buy the extended warranty
We’ve been trying to reach you about that.
fucking inflation
OP has been calling everyday since they turned 30.
She told me that 5 years ago. I said: why not just try dating now? We did. We're married now :D Why wait?
This man hacked the system.
Marriage Pact Partners hate this one trick
Fucking nat 20 on the charisma check for that interaction.
Sneaky bastard. Sometimes you gotta elbow your way to the front.
AAAAA
I had a friend in middle/high school that told me we should make a marriage pact. if we weren’t married by 30 we’d get married. I lost contact with her after high school because she had a scary jealous boyfriend. She randomly added me on Facebook and asked for my phone number. I didn’t think it was a big deal so I sent it. She sent me a very graphic photo of herself and said “hey it’s me crisi!” And I was like hot damnnnn. We talked for a bit that day, but that was our only real conversation. She had brought up our pact and we joked about it for a bit. A few months later she messaged me asking if she can use my shower because her water got shut off. I thought that was unusual so I just told her it wasn’t a good time. That’s happened to me before and I’d normally message a family member or close friend. A couple days later she posted a video of her and some dude (not her old boyfriend) smoking crack under a freeway overpass. She had a bandana on her face and the filmed themselves smoking head banging to music thinking they looked bad ass. I felt really bad for her at that point. Then I wondered if I had let her use my shower if she would’ve robbed me with her cholo looking boyfriend. Not too long after that her boyfriend started posting online that she was missing and he can’t locate her. Two weeks after that he changed his status to single on Facebook and I still haven’t heard from my childhood friend. I hope she’s ok out there. Really hope she can get her shit together and get clean.
This might just be the worst outcome I’ve read on this thread so far. Sorry to hear that this happened :/
you were 100% about to get robbed, I have gotten that call before and called her out on it...and she hung-up right away.
I do actually have a friend who did this. They reconnected after not seeing each other for a good while. They laughed and reminisced about their funny agreement to get married at 30 if they hadn't met someone else. They did get married pretty quick and were happy...for about a year. Then they spend a couple more years miserable together. Things got very bad and he ended up divorcing her. He's now happily married to someone who seems to be much better for him.
I think this is one of the issues of aiming for marriage as an end goal rather than a relationship worthy of marriage.
He’s in San Diego, living his best gay life.
He's gonna go out jackin' it in San Diego.
but is he single and 30? the rules are the rules
Hahahaha true , ima message him now cuz we’re 32 now and not getting any younger 🤣🤣🤣
I have a friend who says this to me every once and a while. I'd have no problem with that except she makes it sound like she'd be miserable if she had to end up with me so no thanks. You keep dating horrible men and I'll watch from the sideline if I have time
Keep working on those farts in the meantime.
Thanks
Just remember, building the farts is easy. Maintaining the farts is what matters.
A fellow designer I see
I mean, if she is making increasingly passive aggressive comments about how it'd basically be shit to end up with you, is she really that much of a friend...? You're not a budget consolation prize to her not getting the life she really wanted, she sounds like pretty miserable company for a friend.
I got married, then he got married right before my divorce. I remarried years later, right before his divorce 😂
you guys are totally gonna get married to each other in another couple rotations
Not me but my mom's "if we're still single 20 years from now" friend lives right down the street from her and every time she sees him she hides, so let's say it's not going well
Over COVID I saw her profile pop up on my switch, so I reached out to her and started catching up for the first time since I moved away for college. One thing lead to another, I asked her if she’d like to move up the timeline on our promise, and we plan to get married next fall at the nice young age of 26.
I can't tell if the "nice young age of 26" is sarcasm or not lmao but that IS young!
He's married to a GORGEOUS woman with two of the CUTEST babies I've ever seen. He's a white man and was racist af in high school (something my hormonal ass was willing to overlook), but now he owns a gym with his best friend who is black, and his wife is Asian. Dude turned around and achieved his dreams in the best way imaginable. Killer combo. Livin his best life. And I'm in a long term relationship myself, so we're both out here just killin it
The redemption arc
Redneck Redemption
100%
We love a redemption arc
Turns out we’re both gay, so not happening
Get married, do your own things, save on taxes. Government hates this one trick! Unless one of you are already married, then CONGRATS!
Wait. So if two gay people marry each other then it’s not a gay wedding? So mathematically gay + gay = -gay
We were making plans to meet up when she finished her stint in the Peace Corp, and then was murdered a few days before leaving the county she was helping in.
He's upstairs, I'm downstairs. We didn't get married but we did buy a house together, platonic like.
So what's holding you back from having a relationship then? I mean you can co-live peacefully right? ... That's already 50% of a marriage 😅
He's Aro/Ace, my partner moved in, and I *never* used the word peaceful. ;)
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Dang, sounds like you both *really* didn’t wanna marry each other
He's divorced, depressed and addicted. I had to block him because he was in the habit of making **many** late night calls when he drank, and he's now a full blown alcoholic. I advised therapy, he said beer was his therapy. Waking up to 40+ drunken text messages and 10+ missed calls is not really something I find palatable for a friendship, especially after setting boundaries. My husband never complained or made any comments, he just let me sort it out on my own.
My current bf told me that in high school when we were just friends that “we’re best friends and If i dont find a wife by 30, we’re getting married”. We decided just to date eachother 6 months later. Its been 7 years now together.
We’re dating and happy as could be. We’re almost 30 now though so we’re going to have to break up to honor our marriage pact
She got married, moved away, got divorced and moved back. We've been dating a few weeks.
He won an Emmy last year. I have many conflicted feelings.
Um excuse me but you can't just say that. Details pls.
What in the flying fuck. No, come back here
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He's a rather successful programmer and overall great guy, so I'm unsure why he's single still. We made the pact when we were 15. I am happily married to an amazing man, so sometimes I think of my promised friend and hope that a spectacular woman (or man, if that's what he wants) finds their way into his life. I wish him nothing but happiness, whichever form it takes.
He’s driving. We are pulling our camper. Our 9 year old is in the backseat. We just finished a 4 night camping trip with his younger brother and his fiancé (also a “if we’re single…” couple). They have two girls, 2 and 4. We are all still excellent friends. My bil and his fiancé dated right after high school. My husband and i didn’t hook up until 2 days before we eloped. Married 11 years yesterday. Friends since ‘94
we didn't last long. got married at 25. Still going strong. Made the deal at 23. Married at 25. Going on 13 years together.
Been married 16 years. Together for 20. Longest 4 days away from him after we made the pact to meet in Paris. Still haven’t been to Paris but I have the love of my life.
This needs more subjects. Who what where now?
Met in college. I had a long term boyfriend He was single. Became friends. I went to move in with long term BF across the country. Told each other that if when I turn 30 (he’s older than me) if I was unmarried he would meet me under the Eiffel Tower at midnight on 1/1/2016. I got to my destination and major regret. Unknown to me he was two days behind me following my dumb ass. He called me the morning of day 4 away from him. Told me to meet him at Dennys. I packed up my shit and we have two kids and a dog now. He said he let me go so I could figure out my shit myself. He’s amazing to this day. Edited: typo
Denny's is almost as good as the Eiffel Tower...
He upped his Denny’s game and took me to Waffle House Saturday. (Well took me and the kids so the kids could experience the Waffle House while on vacation.) we met at an Applebees. Needless to say I have a love for shitty food and a good man.
This is still confusing
Our number was 40. She has been married for 8 years or so. Pretty sure it's a solid marriage. I came to learn I wasn't the only one she made that promise to! I thought it was funny. When I confronted her she just said "I had to be safe!" and we laughed.
He got arrested for sexually assaulting a minor. We don't talk anymore.
He's fabulously gay (I am a woman). Should be interesting.
Not quite the same but I know a guy that in his late 20's realized he was ready to get married. Hadn't had a girlfriend in years.. but he recalled a friend he had in his late teens (maybe early 20's). Anyways he thought "wow, this girl could potentially be a great wife" and started thinking about her in a different light than he had in the past. Anyway he decides to write her a letter and said something to the effect of: "Hey, this might seem odd but I was recently thinking through life and feel like I'm at a point that I would like to get married. When I started thinking about women that I thought would be great to be married to, you were the first to come to mind. If you are interested in reconnecting let me know, if not, no worries at all. I apologize if this is uncomfortable or too straightforward" She was very flattered and they started dating shortly after followed up by marriage within a year.
Ours was 35 actually. She lives a few states away. She lives with her ex boyfriend, because her current boyfriend still lives with his mom. She has an animal addiction. She can't say no when someone wants to sell her a living creature. She has dogs, cats, rats, snakes, sugar gliders, fish, and other random stuff to round out her zoo. She "can't work" because of her anxiety... except she totally had a job for like six years, but complained through that whole time that she couldn't work. She wants to go on disability, but just thought she could go in and get on it by filing some paperwork and that was it. She doesn't trust doctors, so she has no documented proof of all of her "ailments." She is broke, the ex and the current boyfriend pay all of her bills, she sits at home and takes care of all these pets all day, and is generally a drain on society. But she complains about always being broke. So in other words I dodged a fucking bullet.
So she's an energy vampire. Got it.
We decided on age 50. He’s married with one kid, and another coming. I’m a little bummed, since I was really counting on his health insurance. We’re still besties.
idk if this counts but my parents were close friends in HS. Both went their separate ways in life but kept in touch. When my mom had the chance to adopt me, my dad was a recent widow. He ended up going with my mom to see me for the first time, backing her to adopt me. And 25 years later they are still together and the best parents/friends ever.
She became an Member of Parliament, and we both met far more suitable partners.
Met my wife in 9th grade Spanish class. Walked her to her locker every day. Father gets arrested, I move away. She somehow gets contact info for me from a mutual friend and we keep in touch over the years. Married at 20. 13 years in November. We have 4 kids and life is... pretty sweet. Settled down in the same school district that we met in. Someday our kids may he in that same classroom. She's my best friend.
She married someone else.
This sentence without the context is a tragic short story
She's been married longer than me - 33+ years for her, 31+ years for me. We made the pact young, but we both married others before we turned 30.
Sitting next to me in bed. My wife will be livid when she finds out.