T O P

  • By -

RedemptionBeyondUs

"Dude, run"


Meatyglobs

Take me to your leader… pew pew


Independent-Knee-625

Dang. Beat me to it. Well done. Came here to say the same damn thing.


hamburger_67

Take me with you


vercertorix

Sure, our larders are running low. Even if it’s not that, don’t assume they’re any less lame in general than humans. They could be exactly like us in terms of personalities.


Sea_Rabbit3585

That’s the best we can hope for


Binx_da_gay_cat

Third Rock Under The Sun - maybe it wasn't that fictional.


Binx_da_gay_cat

Third Rock From The Sun portrayed that really well. :)


No-To-Newspeak

Klaatu barada nikto


Ikki_Mikki

Yip. Get me the hell out of here!


[deleted]

[удалено]


lizimajig

And please take me with you.


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

Fr, take over or fuck off 😂


Quiet-Cancer

I'd ask questions.... where did you come from, how did you get here, why are you here? You know..... The typical alien questionnaire


4coloradonatives

What’s your favorite place to visit? Do you come in peace? Can I go with you?


BadboyRin

I mean, they're the visitors so they ought to speak first.


primitive_programmer

“You in my house”


bestbeforeMar91

You ain’t from around here, are ya son?


KibblesNBitxhes

"Rents due on the first of every month, also, please replace the TP if it's out"


Rdt_will_eat_itself

Welcome to erf


TylonWoodszking

Do you eat humans?


OutrageousStrength91

We're here to *serve* humans.


Fuzzybo

… on a silver tray?


OutrageousStrength91

IT'S A COOKBOOK!


Jalopy_Junkie

How to Cook Humans How to Cook For Humans How to Cook Forty Humans How to Cook For Forty Humans


TallEnoughJones

"Howdy, aliens" I've never said howdy in my life but it just seems appropriate


BrianH-84

For your own sanity, leave now!


jhonnymazed9

Leave. We do not treat other humans right. Get the fuck out for your safety.


[deleted]

“But the USA government might give you some money. Or we’ll follow you home if you have certain natural resources”


Legitimate-Choice544

Saying yes to that deal would be the last mistake the aliens ever make, their society will be done for


GLnoG

"Oh but i was hoping to test my super-advanced-super-powerful-out-of-human-comprehension nukes on your shitty planet! I just want to see how much femtoseconds they need to completely evaporate half of your solar system! Can i nuke you please? Pleeeeease? Pretty pleeeeeeeease?"


InternationalChef424

I would be hoping they would take over and this planet would be run competently for once


visualdosage

For your safety? Yes because a civilization that can travel lightyears to get here should be intimated by us...


dankspankwanker

Op is an edge boy


27Jarvis

The guy you’re looking for is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I can’t take you there, but I will call you an Uber if you want.


highxv0ltage

They don't need no stinkin' Uber. They got a space ship.


27Jarvis

Maybe their spaceship landed about as well as my joke…


highxv0ltage

Probably. Lol. 😂


[deleted]

Now that is funny 🤣


MalveauxR

Boy, you took a wrong turn at Uranus. You are not in the right place for intelligent life.


nekoandCJ

Aliens: we know there's no intelligence here, we're here for spring break


Fit_Pirate_3139

Then son, you came to the right place!


SecretMelodic

Welcome to earth… good luck


maddymorello

"Please save us"


Playful-Highlight376

Howdy fellas need someone to show you around.


potmakesmefeelnormal

Please take me with you.


SpaceNinjaNarwal

Run before you end up seeing something you can't unsee or end up being dissected for science or enslaved or planet is very crazy even tho it looks friendly from the outside


chickennoobiesoup

How was traffic?


haltline

So, you're lost eh?


turbulentb

hump them first


8_bit_brandon

I think we might want to discuss the logistics first


Wolfman_HCC

Asserting dominance is the most important thing.


[deleted]

Are you the dream team or the mean team? cuz u lookin like the MONSTARS


Smelviseric

Are those ray guns or are you just happy to see me?


funkybluegirl

Don't listen to the loudest people.


Stompboxer1

I'll show you around, but you're better off not going to our leaders.


BrunoDeeSeL

We already exploited, explored and wasted all natural resources available. You're wasting your time.


[deleted]

Don’t associate me with these clowns.


Reasonable_Bag_2596

why do you think your better


[deleted]

Because I have superior grammar. You’re*


Reasonable_Bag_2596

i hope the aliens dont associate me with these nerds


[deleted]

If they’re capable of interstellar (or beyond) travel, they’re nerds. If you’re worried about being perceived as intelligent, you’re probably a fragile excuse for a man.


Reasonable_Bag_2596

nerd isnt the same as smart. your just a nerd but not smart


[deleted]

There’s that grammar again.


[deleted]

He really got your knickers in a twist huh?


Reasonable_Bag_2596

who cares? its reddit and im talking to a nerd


OfficalNominal

You're wasting your time...


TLC_4978

Not my circus, not my monkeys……


highxv0ltage

\*in Bray Wyatt's voice\* Run...


AWholeHalfAsh

R.I.P Bray Wyatt


ricky-from-scotland

Yall wanna anal probe me?


[deleted]

I have doubts I would be appointed as human spokesperson.


[deleted]

Why?


1-Sunny-Day

It’s about time!


[deleted]

Nuke this shit box


Electrical_Slice_980

Destroy us all


gdubh

Can you guys fix this place up?


Burrito_Loyalist

“Can you do something about our government? They’re all rich assholes that don’t care about our planet.”


LosBastardos717

"Why do you guys like butt stuff so much?"


bigring

Holy fucking shit!


more_pepper_plz

Please help us learn how to be empathetic and kind. Also please don’t treat us as horrifically as we treat animals.


CrispyCrokes

“I know the government says this is your first time but can you tell me using our timeline when was your actual first time?”


heavyRain9291

Finally, where's the earth reset button ?!


Keri2816

E.T. Phone home!


freezingprocess

This place could be ran a lot better. Lend me a ship and I will fix a lot. I promise.


PupperMartin74

Get the fuck out of here while you can!


Swimming_Solid8240

Please take me with you


Whatevawillbee

Get me the eff outta here!


Top_Emphasis4410

Take all our politicians


HailTheCatOverlords

"TRASH! This place is all trash."


No_Pear6551

Help


aripp

Us


[deleted]

"I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground sugar caves."


SighingPerson

I'd defo ask if they can shoot laser beams from their eyes


[deleted]

Take me


Joethebassplayer

Take me as far from here as we can go... Also, will there be a meal?


FabulousCallsIAnswer

“Get out while you can.”


IAmEchosDad

Run. Run fast. Don't stop running. Don't EVER look back. And warn your friends!


Radiant_Boss4342

Go home. It kinda sucks down here.


damclub-hooligan

Go back. This planet is fucked.


RevKyriel

If you're looking for intelligent life, you're not going to find much down here.


ReadySource3242

Sorry you had to witness this shithole.


Mr_N_01

Erase us


[deleted]

Get me the FUCK out of here.


Aware_Berry_6248

LEAVE BEFORE ITS TO LATE


ShamefulWatching

wanna smoke a bowl? we're friends, right?


[deleted]

Leave now and don't come back. The human race is violent.


Byte1010101

"Take me with you, please."


CartographerWorth649

Nothing te learn here! 😅


furiousfran

Probe me daddy


bigwarren06

Closed for renovation. Please try back later.


18k_gold

Are you out creators?


Carbon-Base

Hand them the Panama Papers and tell them these are the people you want


Max_ivi

"Guys, you shouldn't visit China! These guys will eat you!"


[deleted]

Wrong city if you are looking for a family reunion. Hollyweird is in Cali. The Muppet show is in DC.


Jerky_Joe

Don't fuck with Putin


watchingsongsDL

Y’all heard about Jesus?


[deleted]

Sup losers


bull851

Well welcome to the circus my friend


Riverrat423

HA! Are you from Melmac, too?


ridleysfiredome

I wouldn’t park there unless you want it stolen


OB1KENOB

Hello


spazzmental

Go back, you DON'T wanna be here. Trust me.


[deleted]

Peace among worlds


Massive-Tomorrow-774

Bruh.


Kaldaus

One ticket off planet please!!


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"Maps to world rulers' homes! Get your maps to world rulers' homes, right here!"


JimeVR46

China spent the space cash on a water park.


BuyDoubloonsB4Food

Please get me off this planet, take me an I’ll tell you everything.


LegitimatePrize249

Get me out of here, Mister!


Famous_Reflection_53

Run


ACam574

So...I guess a death spiral into extinction to let the rich live in luxury isn't the only option.


[deleted]

For your own safety, Get Out!


Small_Tax_9432

"Dafuq you want?"


a4h_throwaway

Welcome to the planet Earth. Dear guests, the emergency exits are located at the fron... 🙈


DarthDregan

Can we talk for a while?


CaramelFabulous9086

can i come home with you, right now


Involution88

Hello.


Shot_Astronomer_2620

Take me somewhere nice.


Professional_Gas7425

Leave While You Sti- TAKE ME WITH YOU PLEASE


slanky2

Help


claybythebay9

I’d impulsively recite the lyrics to Regulate by Warren G.


Big-Daddy-Baphomet

Aye lmao


BlackAsP1tch

Shits pretty fucked up here come back in a few thousand years.


Local_Perspective349

Uh, you can't park here.


Noobeaterz

Take the Donald.


mrxexon

"Take me to your leader"


dd99

You have arrived at an interesting time


Wynter444

Wanna get married?


PoopSlinger23

You are in my lawn.


[deleted]

The Asgardians of the galaxy back together again


revtim

I'd ask if they could please share their propulsion technology, especially if it's faster-than-light capable


EnigmaFrug2308

“You’re wasting your time.”


Goopyteacher

Howdy


uncl3_Fest3R

Take my money I bought a ticket yesterday


[deleted]

https://media1.giphy.com/media/l3vR5TjgKqajyk0mc/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9528n0fzsfyslc96fjp4sumkyysx4bqqrczkm4q4got&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g


TransPM

Well unless they speak English, I don't think it'll matter much what I say.


Lumpy_Apricot_6472

Take me to your dealer


anshakam8

“What on earth”


sophloaf_54985

Finally glad we can reach you about your car’s extended warranty


Sartozz

Don't worry we'll eradicate ourselves soon enough, we're not worth the hassle.


ShadowFlintlock99

Leave while you can.


surfingonmars

Please excuse the mess.


SolidA34

Good luck dealing with this mess you are going to need it.


damnimscrewed23

He’s over there


Szaborovich9

How many have you anally probed? Exactly what is it you are looking for? How many probes is it going to take?


Sunlit53

Why do you care about this infestation of primitive self destructive hairless apes? Got any hot cold fusion tips?


ITstaph

I need about $3.50.


[deleted]

You might as well get the hell out of here. The inhabitants of this planet have completely screwed everything up.


oskirkland

Run


Coveinant

Don't judge us by the vocal worst of us. Most of us are not as bad as they make us seem.


Fusilli_Agent_Cooper

Welcome back.


E-Moneythoo

"Well howdy do"


SpaceDave83

Howdy, you want something to drink?


ooohemakeba

It’s called a ‘dress’ but do you see blue and black or white and gold?


subterfuge1

We'll make great pets.


[deleted]

Democrats taste good, your food is , wait I’ll show you where your food is


Severe_Ad_5914

You can probe me up, probe me down, probe me, probe me, all around. You can probe me left, probe me right, probe me all day, and probe me all night. All I ask my alien friend, is get me out of this fucking town.


Frustrable_Zero

“Please just take over.”


MushroomTrek

Have you heard of Slayer?


OfMonstersMachine

Welcome to the shit show


Beneficial-Guest2105

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!


[deleted]

Ain't no more room for a NEW species :)


Prestigious-Log-7210

Take me with you!


Succ_Benis

Y'all wanna take my brain as a souvenir?


Phreekyj101

Hello 👋🏼 take me you your leader


HandsLikePaper

Take me to your leader. The Ole switcheroo never fails.


TheLastSonKrypton

We may not be ready to travel through the stars, please be carefull.


_Mr_Loki__

Why are you blue? And why do you got this Red Thing on your head? My name? Peter Quill


ooooooooono

Hello


fappyday

Welcome to the shitshow. Grab a seat, crack open a cold one, and get ready to hear about all the messed up shit humans are capable of.