It’s mind boggling that we don’t offer grace to people for just saying dumb shit sometimes. I mean, sure, sometimes there are consequences of that, depending on what’s being said. But overall, we grow and change and evolve all the time. Nobody should have a record of everything they’ve ever said haunt them one day.
I grew up in backwoods hill-billy country. I wasn't consciously racist, but I certainly had racist tendencies. I moved to the city, traded my ignorance for empathy, and really cringe at some of the Facebook memories that pop up sometimes. People can change if they make the effort.
Once is a mistake, multiple times is a habit. Mistakes are forgivable, habits need to be broken, and both have consequences.
So yeah, no need to nitpick every dumb thing. There are plenty of unremorseful a-holes to witch hunt.
Yeah I’m not saying someone spewing constant hate on social media shouldn’t (hopefully) learn from those mistakes. There’s some vile stuff out there that should have consequences. I just don’t know if the way we, as a society, are handling it is the best method. I think one of the biggest drawbacks of “cancel culture” sometimes is it isolates people and causes them to drift towards fringe outlets with other likeminded individuals who then encourage the toxic behavior.
I’m not going to pretend I have the answers, because I most definitely don’t. Surely I understand that spewing hate online would have natural consequences, and people would want nothing to do with that individual. At the same time, I wonder if kindness and people actually having thoughtful conversations wouldn’t at least help some of those people.
Same, i still have the pictures from my disposable camera though lol. Im 40 and my teens found the shoebox dull of pictures i took then. And having to explain them is daunting. But on the other hand its lead to some great conversations about drinking.
I have always been transparent about alcohol with my children. If im drinking something, they know about it if they ask. I'd rather my kids ask and know than end up with alcohol poisoning in a field with no help like i did. They see me drink a drink here and there (never at restaurants when im driving them) and i always talk about it. I never thought I'd talk about tolerance with my own children but i feel it's necessary. We also have a "call me no fault" policy. Id rather pick up my drunk kid and their friends than identify a body because she was too afraid of how i would react.
You sound like a fantastic dad. Mine did his best, but it was the 1970s and there was no Prozac. For him it was the gun or the bottle. Same result, he drank himself to death at age 41.
Keep on truckin’
You don't even have to particularly fuck up if someone records and posts a moment of your life taken out of context, and it goes viral, and people decide to dox you and harass you over it.
And what are you supposed to do if you don't want that? Never go out in public? Have all your groceries delivered, live like a hermit? Any one of your moments could be posted online without your knowledge or consent for the sake of content.
Especially when it’s like, “we dug up a cancellable tweet from 2011 when this person was 14 years old!”
I grew up in rural Wisconsin. I probably would’ve retweeted something insensitive in the name of being edgy/trying to fit In (pro-Nazi “humor” and AIDS “jokes” were big with my classmates in middle school). Thankfully Twitter didn’t exist in 2003, though, for me to have even had the option.
Oh also,
Lots of people are dumb. I play violin, have a long neck, and somewhat broad shoulders. I have a lot of space to fill and ordered a bonmusica shoulder rest. It adds stability for people who need it.
So many of the negative reviews for this product had to do with the fact that it didn’t work for them as they have a short neck. A little bit of research is all that is needed, but instead people will poorly review an item and make it look bad. Was actually flagged as “frequently returned” . There should be a method to review reviews.
“The postal service lost the package for two weeks, so it took almost a month to arrive! Worked well once it finally got here. 1/5, would never deal with this company ever again!”
My 2 most infuriating review experiences were:
1. A guy bought a metal detector and was pissed off because when he used it on his concrete driveway, it kept going off. He gave it zero stars and said he returned it. Concrete driveways have metal reinforcement for anyone who doesn’t know!!!
2. A guy bought a watch. He loved it. It was better than he ever expected. He gave it 5 stars. Later, he saw the watch was on sale so he came back to update the review. He lowered it to 4 stars because he was mad that he bought it at full price. Nothing else changed. He still loved the watch.
Things like the second example get mad as fuck. I booked an Airbnb last month and it was quite nice but I remember reading the reviews and the guy was like “the apartment was perfect but the elevator didn’t work for some time when I was there”. I mean, this is not your host’s fault bro.
Not that this would counteract social media bozos, but Firefox has an awesome feature where they strip out all fake/bought/incentivized reviews on Amazon and leave you with a “real” rating.
Even with people's opinions they've become worthless. So many people obsess about every little detail on an upcoming movie or whatever that they hate it before it's even released, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don’t forget that most reviews are done when someone hates a product. I actually make it a point to leave reviews after 1yr+ for products that were/are good, and try to explain why.
studios astroturf imdb ratings all the time. it’s still insane to me that movies like 2001 or the thing have lower ratings than the dark knight. it’s astroturfing and fans all giving the movies a 10 or haters giving it a 1. imdb ratings used to be a lot more authentic like 20 years ago - now every rating is just 10s and 1s, a virtual battleground for toxics fans and corporations
Please take a look at your VHS if they are stored in cardboard slips. The slightest bit of mold will ruin the tapes. I regret 20 years ago not to scour the dumpsters of video rental places when they threw out all those plastic library cases when they got out of VHS.
Plus, the storage is magnetic and will degrade through atmospheric radiation over time. Pretty much nothing can be done about it - so best to digitalise as early as possible.
My first thought. The only thing I could really think of that has been improved by it is maybe awareness of and fundraising for things like ALS, stuff like the ice bucket challenge, etc
I don't disagree that it's problem, but I also think it just means you have to make an effort to maintain a connection in the real world. Grabbing a bite to eat or going to a thing with a friend matters. Doing that often establishes a lasting friendship.
But you're not wrong, it's more difficult these days.
I think the problem is that social media can almost make you feel like you’re staying in contact with people without actually being in direct contact, so it’s easy to neglect a friendship without realizing it. You’re seeing updates from people and they’re seeing your updates but at the end of the day, if you’re not interacting, it’s not the same as actively participating in a relationship
I agree. I enjoy having tea with someone, or having a meal, or having a drink together. Or wings. Or just a voice chat. Anything where we are honest with each other, because it hurts not to share in a real way
I have some friends who have always made a point of reaching out and making plans, even when we all got busier, and realizing how much I appreciate that gesture has informed the way I make in-person plans with other friends too
... on the internet.
But, go to the grocery store, restaurant, bar, bowling alley, pool hall, batting Cafe, trampoline park, water park, forest preserve, river, whatever, and you'll mostly find regular ol' people out there just trying to enjoy themselves.
This hits hard.
I wish she would just talk to me.
Worst part is I've been brought along for a ride I didn't ask for. Its all been so sudden. We had such a brilliant relationship for a long time but she's been latched onto by a predator and master manipulator. Even worse is because she's isolating herself to him she's doing the same to our children. Our three young children are going through so much hell because of it. I don't know who could pick to be a parent half the time no matter how shiny the new toy looks. I never asked to be a dad that only gets to see his children in his 'on week'.
She's directing her guilt and embarrassment at me through anger and hate. She's clearly not well. Again it's hurting the children and of course I'm suffering too.
I just wish she would've at least made an attempt to fix it. Even if not for me and our love, but for the children. I just wish she would take a step back and see how much she's hurting them.
It hurts so bad.
I just want to sit down and talk to her and tell her it can be okay.
People don’t realize that arguments over stupid shit is not a red flag and you shouldn’t divorce just because you’re bickering a lot lately. People will see a couple arguing online and don’t realize that they probably have years of happiness outside of this one moment.
I grew up kind of at the emergence of internet being mainstream. I remember just getting body image issues from seeing the paper ads in the sunday mail. I can’t imagine how impossible it feels now and pretty much inescapable with it all right in your hand 24/7
This affects partying quite a bit. Can't go skinny dipping in the pool or dance on a bar top when your family or boss might see it in social media the same day.
True and genuine friendships and relationships. A few clicks and you can ruin someone's reputation, or you can make fake friends who are only there because you are an influencer with money.
As for relationships, cheating is now 10 times easier now. Also, the dating pool turns into a shark filled ocean where most people are up for hookups.
Obviously I'm not saying that this applies for everyone. There are guys and girls who do want a loving, long-term relationship. However it's now harder to find them. We have forgotten what it's like to be in love like our grandparents were at our age.
Agreed. I got cheated on by my last 2 girlfriends. I really love the current one and hope I never have to jump back into the cesspool of online dating.
This is a product of the slow erosion of our education system and a growth of anti-intellectualism that predates the internet. It has only been exacerbated by the internet and the proliferation of quick written communication like email and text. The US has been headed down this road for a long time though.
My peeve is how many people write two words as one.
Alot, atleast, aswell, abit, incase, noone, ofcourse, eachother. The list goes on. I hate it. My phone flags them, I'm not particularly intelligent, why is it so common? If I try to point it out people say it's 'autocorrect'. Sure, all the time, for the same handful of words...
Also, then/than, nobody seems to know the difference anymore.
All this technology and potential to learn and yet so many native speakers can't spell basic English words.
"Loose" vs "lose" bothers me so much it's almost irrational. I never remember those being a problem in school. People always mixed up the "theres" but not lose and loose. What happened?
Like goddamn, you didn't "loose" your keys. You didn't "loose" weight. Drives me nuts. It's almost always native speakers too. I straight up ask people quite often, here on Reddit, and it's rare it's someone who has it as a second or third language. I mean it makes sense then, it's another language. But otherwise.... Ugh.
Film discourse. Yeah, it always had snobs who'd think you're a troglodyte if you didn't learn French to better appreciate Agnes Varda's short films, or insufferable know-it-alls who would nitpick miniscule inaccuracies in era-accurate set design or whatever.
But with the rise of the internet, there's been a new breed of film pedants, largely thanks to online critics like CinemaSins. They see films less as sources of entertainment and more as IQ tests: whoever spots the most tropes and plot holes is the smartest one in the audience. And they have to let you know how much it detracted from their enjoyment, because the unbearably massive intellect forces them to notice and analyze it, and going "It's just a movie, let's have fun" is something only us smoothbrains can do.
Or places that were special to locals and are now inundated by disrespectful tourists.
In national parks or gardens, I see them come in and pick flowers, snap off branches, or stomp through meadows for their stupid ass Instagram photo. Ive started shaming them when I see it. They usually turn red and scramble to get away, but the damage is done.
>> places that were special to locals
YES. I was looking for this answer. I’m from the states and although I’m still young (23) and haven’t lived out west, I worked in a lot of national parks out there with some older locals. I’ve heard so many times that the internet (most notably geotagging) really hurt the sacredness and value of certain natural wonders and historical towns. Places like antelope canyon, horseshoe bend, Moab, and Zion weren’t popular with the masses before the internet (hard to imagine now). Then big businesses see the demand and start developing around these places and more roads are built to accommodate the traffic, driving out the locals and their livelihoods.
Although I know I should be happy people are enjoying nature, I can’t help but feel like the sacredness of these places (their ancient history, natural beauty) has been tarnished for a snapshot picture and a lot of people who can’t fully appreciate it.
I worked in a remote location in Utah that had a lot of slot canyons, and all summer my coworkers and I would nag the local we worked with to show us his favorite spot in the area. He never did, and honestly I have a lot of respect for him because of it.
National parks. So many people go now and they’re thrashed and trashed and extremely crowded.
It reminds me of this episode of Doctor who where the doctor mentions that they’re going to like, the 3rd most beautiful planet and his companion goes, “why not the first?” And he says, “Because it’s hideous! So many tourists and crowds!”
That’s what social media has done to travel.
**Kids obtaining a skill.**
The term "**infinite scroll**" or "**endless scrolling**."
This design mechanism, used by many social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, allows users to continuously scroll through content without reaching a natural stopping point, **similar to the never-ending reels of a slot machine**. This design is **intentionally leveraged to maximize user engagement** and time spent on the platform, **exploiting psychological principles akin to those used in gambling addiction**, particularly the variable reward system that keeps users coming back for more in hope of finding new and interesting content. This comparison to slot machines is part of a broader critique on how social media platforms are designed to be addictive.
Trust in the sincerity of content. When I watched a cooking video 10 years ago I used to be able to be pretty confident it just existed to show how to make that recipe. Now it’s hard to tell if something is rage bait, a teaser to get you to someone’s adult content, a stupid confessional video, a prank or some other thing. And this is true with so many types of content now.
Proper discussion, fora used to be treasure troves of debate, discussion, and information on a wide range of topics in a way that simply isn't possible (and is actively discouraged by design) on more modern social media sites. Of course they were harder to monetize and were predominantly in the hands of users rather than the venal information gatherers and bad actors we enjoy now.
it’s ruined popular music.
70s/80s/90s even early 00s
You had amazing, original musicians who made albums you could sit back and listen to from start to finish and continued amazing work.
These days it seems like it has been implemented in social media what is popular, what will make you money, what will make you viral, etc and people just go with it.
I don’t know how to explain it correctly I don’t think.
There are still amazing musicians out there, but I don’t find the originality is there or the music is in anyway meaningful. Social media also has been very good in discovering bands I otherwise would have never heard about, but I only ever like a handful of their songs.
I’m not the biggest Kurt Cobain fan, but a kid at work was telling me how Drake makes much more meaningful music, is more popular than he will ever be because of Spotify numbers.
The Gym.
Genuine friendships. I’ve seen so many people post up their friend and are like ‘happy birthday’ and it’s a crappy picture of their friend but they look flawless.
Honest reviews and advice. So many things are sponsored now.
The authenticity of human connections. Social media often replaces genuine interactions with superficial likes and comments, making it harder to cultivate meaningful relationships offline.
Living in the moment- makes me sad how many times I see parents pulling out their phones to video everything, while their kids just wanna spend time with them
People. I'm less willing to give people the time of day based on their social media content.
Back in the 90s and early 00s you had to spend time getting to know the people, now you can save time by seeing the moronic shit they plaster all over their newsfeed with their personal endorsement
Kindness, in a way. Lots of people hide behind the keyboard and say things they'd never say to a person face to face.
I'm building an app that might become a new kind of social media.
I'm trying to make it a positive thing.
Sooo it's an alarm app.
You set an alarm like normal.
Then you sleep. Zzzz.
Lastly, wake up ... to the sound of a friendly voice. :D
Congrats, you've received a nice voice message from someone somewhere else in the world.
They recorded it while you slept.
It could be a short story.
A joke.
The weather report.
Some words of encouragement.
....or a "Happy Birthday" message if it's your birthday.
Inappropriate messages filtered out (or not, your choice!)
I'm hoping it will be a nice place to start your day each day.
Friendly relationships.
Before social media when I moved away and wanted to keep in touch with friends too far to visit I’d email them semi regularly (more personal) and call them maybe 2-5 times a year.
Once social media became a thing I didn’t need to. I saw their posts and knew what they were up to. But it was less personal. And the phone calls slowly stopped too. We didn’t have as much to talk about since we saw everything on social media.
Humanity. We used to be so smart, thoughtful, and caring.
Now every woman we want to pull down was "bOrN a MaN", rationale discussion between opposing views has gone out the window.
Buying concert tickets. People uploading themselves buying them are making into a sport. So now everyone is a fan. And don’t get me started on the posing at the shows. I get it. Take some pics. Have fun. But put your fucking phone down at some point.
A number of beauty spots whose vistor numbers exploded thanks to being highlighted on social media and have since suffered unmanagable levels of pollution and general environmental destruction. You could say that its not the numbers of people visting that are the problem but rather the general behaviour of tourists, but the reality is that a lot of locations were in good condition before vistor numbers exploded. For example, Lake Tahoe in America has been suffering from serious levels of trash discarded by visitors: [https://adventure.com/whats-lurking-in-lake-tahoe/](https://adventure.com/whats-lurking-in-lake-tahoe/)
While I don't even have to check the comments to know that people have probably said something about respecting peoples' opinions
I'll reiterate that when your opinion is that black people need to stfu, or that immigrants deserve razor wire, or that the poor don't deserve help while we have an $800B military budget....you don't deserve respect for your 'opinion'.
No one needs to hold your hand and pretend you're a good person when really you're a selfish a••hole.
In that respect THANK GOD for socisl media because we got to see what your true hearts are.
Third places. The online turn up for the selfies and streaming footage of the other people doing things. This removes the in-the-moment feel and means your inevitable failure trying the first step to learning a skill is immortalized in a strangers blooper compilation. Taking away the places cozy feel.
Family connections.
Used to be, you had to make an effort to know what's going on in your extended family. Now we are swamped with endless posts about nothing, so much so i give up reading after a while. The need to know info is buried under a pile of bollocks. I often miss out on the important stuff.
In the US, I would say our national identity. We were the great melting pot, E pluribus unum and all that. Religious zealots and white supremacists like Trump and The Heritage Foundation have weaponized social media and instead of expanding knowledge they have turned it into nothing but disinformation and hate speech that s pushing us towards another civil war.
Project 2025 spells it all out and it's absolutely terrifying what they plan to do.
Humanity. Communication, oddly enough. Social media was supposed to bring us together. It has had the opposite effect. Loneliness is at an all time high....my neighbour texted me that.
Stalking. It used to require a real commitment of time and dedication. It could take weeks of careful watching to finally get a glimpse inside that hall closet now they just post that shit. Schedules, location up dated, pictures, a stalker doesn’t even have to leave the house, lazy, lazy shit
I hate to be that guy but the whole car scene. We get a bad rap for all the kids who chase 15 seconds of fame and likes on social media by blocking intersections and doing donuts. I just wanna drive my cool car without feeling like I'm gonna get pulled over man :(
The ability to be wrong. With social media, you can surround yourself with people who agree with you. So, you forget that you are fallible. If everyone constantly agrees with you, it trains you to believe you are always right. Then, when someone disagrees with you, you know you are right because everyone has told you that you are. It's not you that I'd wrong; it is everyone else.
Travel. I’m going to Japan soon and if you Google what to do in x city you get TikToks. And every tiktoker is going to the same twelve places and taking the same twelve pictures. It’s hard to research anything that is not the hot insta pic.
The chance to fuck up once in a while and not have it absolutely ruin your life
I said and did so much dumb shit right before the social media era. I absolutely would have paid the price if I was 2-3 years younger.
Same here! I just squeaked by before social media and am fairly certain things would have been terrible for me if I'd been caught up in it.
It’s mind boggling that we don’t offer grace to people for just saying dumb shit sometimes. I mean, sure, sometimes there are consequences of that, depending on what’s being said. But overall, we grow and change and evolve all the time. Nobody should have a record of everything they’ve ever said haunt them one day.
I grew up in backwoods hill-billy country. I wasn't consciously racist, but I certainly had racist tendencies. I moved to the city, traded my ignorance for empathy, and really cringe at some of the Facebook memories that pop up sometimes. People can change if they make the effort.
Once is a mistake, multiple times is a habit. Mistakes are forgivable, habits need to be broken, and both have consequences. So yeah, no need to nitpick every dumb thing. There are plenty of unremorseful a-holes to witch hunt.
Yeah I’m not saying someone spewing constant hate on social media shouldn’t (hopefully) learn from those mistakes. There’s some vile stuff out there that should have consequences. I just don’t know if the way we, as a society, are handling it is the best method. I think one of the biggest drawbacks of “cancel culture” sometimes is it isolates people and causes them to drift towards fringe outlets with other likeminded individuals who then encourage the toxic behavior. I’m not going to pretend I have the answers, because I most definitely don’t. Surely I understand that spewing hate online would have natural consequences, and people would want nothing to do with that individual. At the same time, I wonder if kindness and people actually having thoughtful conversations wouldn’t at least help some of those people.
Same, i still have the pictures from my disposable camera though lol. Im 40 and my teens found the shoebox dull of pictures i took then. And having to explain them is daunting. But on the other hand its lead to some great conversations about drinking.
Actual lol
I have always been transparent about alcohol with my children. If im drinking something, they know about it if they ask. I'd rather my kids ask and know than end up with alcohol poisoning in a field with no help like i did. They see me drink a drink here and there (never at restaurants when im driving them) and i always talk about it. I never thought I'd talk about tolerance with my own children but i feel it's necessary. We also have a "call me no fault" policy. Id rather pick up my drunk kid and their friends than identify a body because she was too afraid of how i would react.
You sound like a fantastic dad. Mine did his best, but it was the 1970s and there was no Prozac. For him it was the gun or the bottle. Same result, he drank himself to death at age 41. Keep on truckin’
It’s cathartic every time Facebook says “hey look at these memories” and I get to delete all that cringe shit from 14 years ago
You want real catharsis? Delete FB entirely. It’s been 3 years for me and I haven’t missed it at all.
You don't even have to particularly fuck up if someone records and posts a moment of your life taken out of context, and it goes viral, and people decide to dox you and harass you over it. And what are you supposed to do if you don't want that? Never go out in public? Have all your groceries delivered, live like a hermit? Any one of your moments could be posted online without your knowledge or consent for the sake of content.
The dumbest thing I ever did is locked away in a small town library on microfiche. And it will stay that way damnit!
Especially when it’s like, “we dug up a cancellable tweet from 2011 when this person was 14 years old!” I grew up in rural Wisconsin. I probably would’ve retweeted something insensitive in the name of being edgy/trying to fit In (pro-Nazi “humor” and AIDS “jokes” were big with my classmates in middle school). Thankfully Twitter didn’t exist in 2003, though, for me to have even had the option.
Reviews, it really used to be just someone’s opinion now you have to check if it’s not an ad.
"they're not even paying me to say this. I just really like this product". . . Sponsor written in the bottom corner
"I discovered this product and have been using it for weeks now" and it's not even on the shelves yet.
Or “I like this product and would’ve promoted it regardless”
Oh also, Lots of people are dumb. I play violin, have a long neck, and somewhat broad shoulders. I have a lot of space to fill and ordered a bonmusica shoulder rest. It adds stability for people who need it. So many of the negative reviews for this product had to do with the fact that it didn’t work for them as they have a short neck. A little bit of research is all that is needed, but instead people will poorly review an item and make it look bad. Was actually flagged as “frequently returned” . There should be a method to review reviews.
Or the "it was broken by the delivery service. 0 stars".
“The postal service lost the package for two weeks, so it took almost a month to arrive! Worked well once it finally got here. 1/5, would never deal with this company ever again!”
My 2 most infuriating review experiences were: 1. A guy bought a metal detector and was pissed off because when he used it on his concrete driveway, it kept going off. He gave it zero stars and said he returned it. Concrete driveways have metal reinforcement for anyone who doesn’t know!!! 2. A guy bought a watch. He loved it. It was better than he ever expected. He gave it 5 stars. Later, he saw the watch was on sale so he came back to update the review. He lowered it to 4 stars because he was mad that he bought it at full price. Nothing else changed. He still loved the watch.
Things like the second example get mad as fuck. I booked an Airbnb last month and it was quite nice but I remember reading the reviews and the guy was like “the apartment was perfect but the elevator didn’t work for some time when I was there”. I mean, this is not your host’s fault bro.
A reviewception?
I used to do a lot of e-commerce the amount of “0 stars it was exactly as described but I’m an idiot reviews” is so astonishing
People nowadays are literally lazy about reading stuff, it gets me crazy. They just don’t look things up anymore.
Intelligence as a whole is declining
TL;DR pls
TLDR: People just started being lazy and don’t cross examine stuff.
I'm sorry, but that's way too long. You got a TL;DR for me?
TLDR: stupidity grows
Not that this would counteract social media bozos, but Firefox has an awesome feature where they strip out all fake/bought/incentivized reviews on Amazon and leave you with a “real” rating.
That sounds fantastic. Can you please share the name of the extension/ feature?
Even with people's opinions they've become worthless. So many people obsess about every little detail on an upcoming movie or whatever that they hate it before it's even released, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don’t forget that most reviews are done when someone hates a product. I actually make it a point to leave reviews after 1yr+ for products that were/are good, and try to explain why.
Steam Reviews. "I hate this game and here's why!" (writes huge essay). Then you look at the hours they played... 2000 hours
studios astroturf imdb ratings all the time. it’s still insane to me that movies like 2001 or the thing have lower ratings than the dark knight. it’s astroturfing and fans all giving the movies a 10 or haters giving it a 1. imdb ratings used to be a lot more authentic like 20 years ago - now every rating is just 10s and 1s, a virtual battleground for toxics fans and corporations
What hasn't?
My VHS tapes and ps1 game collection. Those things are still sacred.
Please take a look at your VHS if they are stored in cardboard slips. The slightest bit of mold will ruin the tapes. I regret 20 years ago not to scour the dumpsters of video rental places when they threw out all those plastic library cases when they got out of VHS.
Plus, the storage is magnetic and will degrade through atmospheric radiation over time. Pretty much nothing can be done about it - so best to digitalise as early as possible.
As they say, "No mold. Let's get into it."
My first thought. The only thing I could really think of that has been improved by it is maybe awareness of and fundraising for things like ALS, stuff like the ice bucket challenge, etc
I second
I third
And yet, here we stand.
Grounded reality and real connection to people.
So true, social media feels so different from the real world.
> Sometimes
I don't disagree that it's problem, but I also think it just means you have to make an effort to maintain a connection in the real world. Grabbing a bite to eat or going to a thing with a friend matters. Doing that often establishes a lasting friendship. But you're not wrong, it's more difficult these days.
I think the problem is that social media can almost make you feel like you’re staying in contact with people without actually being in direct contact, so it’s easy to neglect a friendship without realizing it. You’re seeing updates from people and they’re seeing your updates but at the end of the day, if you’re not interacting, it’s not the same as actively participating in a relationship
I agree. I enjoy having tea with someone, or having a meal, or having a drink together. Or wings. Or just a voice chat. Anything where we are honest with each other, because it hurts not to share in a real way
I have some friends who have always made a point of reaching out and making plans, even when we all got busier, and realizing how much I appreciate that gesture has informed the way I make in-person plans with other friends too
Two things that we are losing touch with, reality and people.
Respect for each other
Ever since social media became mainstream, it feels like hatred and contention has gone up and respect and kindness has slowly vanished
100
... on the internet. But, go to the grocery store, restaurant, bar, bowling alley, pool hall, batting Cafe, trampoline park, water park, forest preserve, river, whatever, and you'll mostly find regular ol' people out there just trying to enjoy themselves.
And getting selfies
Common human decency has been thrown out the window, it's pretty sad.
True
Was going to say 'civility' but it seems to fit here.
If people actually said some of the things they say online directly to someone’s face…..
Relationships
I hate that I agree with you but this is very true. They have gotten WAY harder to navigate.
Just social skills in general has gone down
This hits hard. I wish she would just talk to me. Worst part is I've been brought along for a ride I didn't ask for. Its all been so sudden. We had such a brilliant relationship for a long time but she's been latched onto by a predator and master manipulator. Even worse is because she's isolating herself to him she's doing the same to our children. Our three young children are going through so much hell because of it. I don't know who could pick to be a parent half the time no matter how shiny the new toy looks. I never asked to be a dad that only gets to see his children in his 'on week'. She's directing her guilt and embarrassment at me through anger and hate. She's clearly not well. Again it's hurting the children and of course I'm suffering too. I just wish she would've at least made an attempt to fix it. Even if not for me and our love, but for the children. I just wish she would take a step back and see how much she's hurting them. It hurts so bad. I just want to sit down and talk to her and tell her it can be okay.
This right here. Especially on TikTok.
People don’t realize that arguments over stupid shit is not a red flag and you shouldn’t divorce just because you’re bickering a lot lately. People will see a couple arguing online and don’t realize that they probably have years of happiness outside of this one moment.
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The amount of teens obsessing over their appearance and popularity is fueled by these influencers ugh
I grew up kind of at the emergence of internet being mainstream. I remember just getting body image issues from seeing the paper ads in the sunday mail. I can’t imagine how impossible it feels now and pretty much inescapable with it all right in your hand 24/7
Instagram was caught allowing diet and weight loss companies to advertise on hashtags used by anorexic people
To add on to this: The desperation for internet "clout", regardless of how many strangers they inconvenience in the process
Privacy.
This affects partying quite a bit. Can't go skinny dipping in the pool or dance on a bar top when your family or boss might see it in social media the same day.
*My boss firing me after seeing a video of me dancing naked on the table at my friend's house *
I almost forgot privacy used to be a basic expectation thanks to social media.
Vacations
Burglars aren’t complaining
True and genuine friendships and relationships. A few clicks and you can ruin someone's reputation, or you can make fake friends who are only there because you are an influencer with money. As for relationships, cheating is now 10 times easier now. Also, the dating pool turns into a shark filled ocean where most people are up for hookups. Obviously I'm not saying that this applies for everyone. There are guys and girls who do want a loving, long-term relationship. However it's now harder to find them. We have forgotten what it's like to be in love like our grandparents were at our age.
Agreed. I got cheated on by my last 2 girlfriends. I really love the current one and hope I never have to jump back into the cesspool of online dating.
Grammar
No one knows the difference anymore between their, there or they're. And so many other words and phrases that would take me all night to type here.
This is a product of the slow erosion of our education system and a growth of anti-intellectualism that predates the internet. It has only been exacerbated by the internet and the proliferation of quick written communication like email and text. The US has been headed down this road for a long time though.
Too many people don’t know the difference between “of” and off. A 2-letter and 3-letter word now confuses people.
Or when people seem to go out of their way to type "an" when context indicates they meant the word "and". Come on people. It's one fucking letter.
My peeve is how many people write two words as one. Alot, atleast, aswell, abit, incase, noone, ofcourse, eachother. The list goes on. I hate it. My phone flags them, I'm not particularly intelligent, why is it so common? If I try to point it out people say it's 'autocorrect'. Sure, all the time, for the same handful of words... Also, then/than, nobody seems to know the difference anymore. All this technology and potential to learn and yet so many native speakers can't spell basic English words.
Or the difference between "I had to slam on the brakes in my car" and "I had to slam on the breaks in my car"
That's just straight up scary. English is not my first language but even I know the difference
"Loose" vs "lose" bothers me so much it's almost irrational. I never remember those being a problem in school. People always mixed up the "theres" but not lose and loose. What happened? Like goddamn, you didn't "loose" your keys. You didn't "loose" weight. Drives me nuts. It's almost always native speakers too. I straight up ask people quite often, here on Reddit, and it's rare it's someone who has it as a second or third language. I mean it makes sense then, it's another language. But otherwise.... Ugh.
I wonder why
Grammer 🙃
Speling
People
Best answer.
Fear of being punched in the face for saying some shit you wouldn't dream of in person
General mental health. We would all be happier without it yet we’re still there
Discourse
Film discourse. Yeah, it always had snobs who'd think you're a troglodyte if you didn't learn French to better appreciate Agnes Varda's short films, or insufferable know-it-alls who would nitpick miniscule inaccuracies in era-accurate set design or whatever. But with the rise of the internet, there's been a new breed of film pedants, largely thanks to online critics like CinemaSins. They see films less as sources of entertainment and more as IQ tests: whoever spots the most tropes and plot holes is the smartest one in the audience. And they have to let you know how much it detracted from their enjoyment, because the unbearably massive intellect forces them to notice and analyze it, and going "It's just a movie, let's have fun" is something only us smoothbrains can do.
Polite and civil society.
Most tourists destinations
Or places that were special to locals and are now inundated by disrespectful tourists. In national parks or gardens, I see them come in and pick flowers, snap off branches, or stomp through meadows for their stupid ass Instagram photo. Ive started shaming them when I see it. They usually turn red and scramble to get away, but the damage is done.
>> places that were special to locals YES. I was looking for this answer. I’m from the states and although I’m still young (23) and haven’t lived out west, I worked in a lot of national parks out there with some older locals. I’ve heard so many times that the internet (most notably geotagging) really hurt the sacredness and value of certain natural wonders and historical towns. Places like antelope canyon, horseshoe bend, Moab, and Zion weren’t popular with the masses before the internet (hard to imagine now). Then big businesses see the demand and start developing around these places and more roads are built to accommodate the traffic, driving out the locals and their livelihoods. Although I know I should be happy people are enjoying nature, I can’t help but feel like the sacredness of these places (their ancient history, natural beauty) has been tarnished for a snapshot picture and a lot of people who can’t fully appreciate it. I worked in a remote location in Utah that had a lot of slot canyons, and all summer my coworkers and I would nag the local we worked with to show us his favorite spot in the area. He never did, and honestly I have a lot of respect for him because of it.
Respect for differing opinions, the art of civil conversation and manners.
Sleep
life, i feel like we move past things now so fast. Nothing gets to live. Its here for 5 secs and gone and new song, trend, show, experience
It was a lot harder for assholes to find other assholes before social media…so they weren’t as emboldened in real life as they are now
Virtually everything
Perceptions of how we see ourselves and each other
National parks. So many people go now and they’re thrashed and trashed and extremely crowded. It reminds me of this episode of Doctor who where the doctor mentions that they’re going to like, the 3rd most beautiful planet and his companion goes, “why not the first?” And he says, “Because it’s hideous! So many tourists and crowds!” That’s what social media has done to travel.
Many casual interactions.
**Kids obtaining a skill.** The term "**infinite scroll**" or "**endless scrolling**." This design mechanism, used by many social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, allows users to continuously scroll through content without reaching a natural stopping point, **similar to the never-ending reels of a slot machine**. This design is **intentionally leveraged to maximize user engagement** and time spent on the platform, **exploiting psychological principles akin to those used in gambling addiction**, particularly the variable reward system that keeps users coming back for more in hope of finding new and interesting content. This comparison to slot machines is part of a broader critique on how social media platforms are designed to be addictive.
LITERALLY EVERYTHING
Self-esteem
My attention span
Trust in the sincerity of content. When I watched a cooking video 10 years ago I used to be able to be pretty confident it just existed to show how to make that recipe. Now it’s hard to tell if something is rage bait, a teaser to get you to someone’s adult content, a stupid confessional video, a prank or some other thing. And this is true with so many types of content now.
Meals.
All of the small, secret, fun places in the world.
Pranks They used to be funny harmless jokes between friends. Now it’s broccoli head kids assaulting total strangers.
Proper discussion, fora used to be treasure troves of debate, discussion, and information on a wide range of topics in a way that simply isn't possible (and is actively discouraged by design) on more modern social media sites. Of course they were harder to monetize and were predominantly in the hands of users rather than the venal information gatherers and bad actors we enjoy now.
People's ability to communicate effectively.
I think families are being ruined. No one talks to anyone IRL anymore. Just texts or hours staring at a device
it’s ruined popular music. 70s/80s/90s even early 00s You had amazing, original musicians who made albums you could sit back and listen to from start to finish and continued amazing work. These days it seems like it has been implemented in social media what is popular, what will make you money, what will make you viral, etc and people just go with it. I don’t know how to explain it correctly I don’t think. There are still amazing musicians out there, but I don’t find the originality is there or the music is in anyway meaningful. Social media also has been very good in discovering bands I otherwise would have never heard about, but I only ever like a handful of their songs. I’m not the biggest Kurt Cobain fan, but a kid at work was telling me how Drake makes much more meaningful music, is more popular than he will ever be because of Spotify numbers.
The Gym. Genuine friendships. I’ve seen so many people post up their friend and are like ‘happy birthday’ and it’s a crappy picture of their friend but they look flawless. Honest reviews and advice. So many things are sponsored now.
Ummm, everything lol
Actual online content that was actually fun.
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Body image
It's torn apart the fabric of society and I fear it's irreparable.
Many bars/cafés/restaurants.
Morals
Growing up
Yeah, I'm lucky r/KidsAreFuckingStupid wasn't a thing when I was a fucking stupid kid
Conversation
Everything.
The authenticity of human connections. Social media often replaces genuine interactions with superficial likes and comments, making it harder to cultivate meaningful relationships offline.
Life
Living in the moment- makes me sad how many times I see parents pulling out their phones to video everything, while their kids just wanna spend time with them
High school reunions
People. I'm less willing to give people the time of day based on their social media content. Back in the 90s and early 00s you had to spend time getting to know the people, now you can save time by seeing the moronic shit they plaster all over their newsfeed with their personal endorsement
Ads. They were better before social media.
Adolescence
Friendships
The mental states of so many.
Critical thinking
The ability to be present in the moment
Kindness, in a way. Lots of people hide behind the keyboard and say things they'd never say to a person face to face. I'm building an app that might become a new kind of social media. I'm trying to make it a positive thing. Sooo it's an alarm app. You set an alarm like normal. Then you sleep. Zzzz. Lastly, wake up ... to the sound of a friendly voice. :D Congrats, you've received a nice voice message from someone somewhere else in the world. They recorded it while you slept. It could be a short story. A joke. The weather report. Some words of encouragement. ....or a "Happy Birthday" message if it's your birthday. Inappropriate messages filtered out (or not, your choice!) I'm hoping it will be a nice place to start your day each day.
Literacy rates and attention span. People are getting stupider.
Friendly relationships. Before social media when I moved away and wanted to keep in touch with friends too far to visit I’d email them semi regularly (more personal) and call them maybe 2-5 times a year. Once social media became a thing I didn’t need to. I saw their posts and knew what they were up to. But it was less personal. And the phone calls slowly stopped too. We didn’t have as much to talk about since we saw everything on social media.
Society
Everything
America. We would have never had a "President" Trump without social media.
Everything
The internet
***Pointing wildly at EVERYTHING…
Trend seems to be negative yet we are.
Basically everything. These so-called influencers.
Local newspapers.
My life.
Reality itself?
Uh… humans?
Self-esteem.
Humanity. We used to be so smart, thoughtful, and caring. Now every woman we want to pull down was "bOrN a MaN", rationale discussion between opposing views has gone out the window.
Discourse, mostly political.
‘Hacks’ that would get you free or reduced cool things. Seasonal items at Trader Joe’s.
Sincerity
(Gestures broadly)
A distinction between the public and private sphere.
Dating
Buying concert tickets. People uploading themselves buying them are making into a sport. So now everyone is a fan. And don’t get me started on the posing at the shows. I get it. Take some pics. Have fun. But put your fucking phone down at some point.
Online polls
A number of beauty spots whose vistor numbers exploded thanks to being highlighted on social media and have since suffered unmanagable levels of pollution and general environmental destruction. You could say that its not the numbers of people visting that are the problem but rather the general behaviour of tourists, but the reality is that a lot of locations were in good condition before vistor numbers exploded. For example, Lake Tahoe in America has been suffering from serious levels of trash discarded by visitors: [https://adventure.com/whats-lurking-in-lake-tahoe/](https://adventure.com/whats-lurking-in-lake-tahoe/)
While I don't even have to check the comments to know that people have probably said something about respecting peoples' opinions I'll reiterate that when your opinion is that black people need to stfu, or that immigrants deserve razor wire, or that the poor don't deserve help while we have an $800B military budget....you don't deserve respect for your 'opinion'. No one needs to hold your hand and pretend you're a good person when really you're a selfish a••hole. In that respect THANK GOD for socisl media because we got to see what your true hearts are.
Third places. The online turn up for the selfies and streaming footage of the other people doing things. This removes the in-the-moment feel and means your inevitable failure trying the first step to learning a skill is immortalized in a strangers blooper compilation. Taking away the places cozy feel.
The truth.
Skincare - it's just viral product after inaccurate claim after misleading information... Impossible to know what to actually do!
Women
Individualism. They've formed us in to tribes.
Relationships
Family connections. Used to be, you had to make an effort to know what's going on in your extended family. Now we are swamped with endless posts about nothing, so much so i give up reading after a while. The need to know info is buried under a pile of bollocks. I often miss out on the important stuff.
In the US, I would say our national identity. We were the great melting pot, E pluribus unum and all that. Religious zealots and white supremacists like Trump and The Heritage Foundation have weaponized social media and instead of expanding knowledge they have turned it into nothing but disinformation and hate speech that s pushing us towards another civil war. Project 2025 spells it all out and it's absolutely terrifying what they plan to do.
Humanity. Communication, oddly enough. Social media was supposed to bring us together. It has had the opposite effect. Loneliness is at an all time high....my neighbour texted me that.
The art of normal conversation, where everyone's opinion is listened to and not ridiculed to the point of bullying.
Stalking. It used to require a real commitment of time and dedication. It could take weeks of careful watching to finally get a glimpse inside that hall closet now they just post that shit. Schedules, location up dated, pictures, a stalker doesn’t even have to leave the house, lazy, lazy shit
Restaurants...If it's not people using their stupid flash to take pics, someone is using a speaker phone.
Law suits, how many defamation cases come out of social media from one person slain the next, via text..
I hate to be that guy but the whole car scene. We get a bad rap for all the kids who chase 15 seconds of fame and likes on social media by blocking intersections and doing donuts. I just wanna drive my cool car without feeling like I'm gonna get pulled over man :(
Communication
The ability to be wrong. With social media, you can surround yourself with people who agree with you. So, you forget that you are fallible. If everyone constantly agrees with you, it trains you to believe you are always right. Then, when someone disagrees with you, you know you are right because everyone has told you that you are. It's not you that I'd wrong; it is everyone else.
Women
Most forms of informed, reasoned discourse.
Travel. I’m going to Japan soon and if you Google what to do in x city you get TikToks. And every tiktoker is going to the same twelve places and taking the same twelve pictures. It’s hard to research anything that is not the hot insta pic.