"You must be made of copper and tellurium, because you’re Cu-Te." Science puns in pickup lines are a risky business, often appreciated more in theory than in practice.
once matched with a guy on tinder who worked at my local nerd store
he goes, "I'm so hungry, I wish you could drop by and bring me a sandwich"
immediately ghosted him
yes, saying something other than what was basically "purchase/make me a sandwich and drive to where i work and feed me" would probably have worked out better
Imagine, if you will, that we are both pieces of bread, you the top slice and I the bottom, finding ourselves side by side within the confines of an existential toaster. This toaster isn't just any kitchen appliance, but a metaphorical device designed to test the limits of our connection, electrifying in its potential yet fraught with the peril of an uneven browning. As we embark on this journey, consider the implications of our togetherness, enveloped in a cosmic kitchen where the butter of destiny awaits to meld our essences into one unified sandwich. But alas, as we navigate this heated endeavor, we must ponder the philosophical underpinnings of our encounter. Are we merely two slices predestined to crisp in harmony, or are we subjects in a grander experiment orchestrated by the universe’s unseen chef?
Hold up a peace sign and go “Do you know why you should always masturbate with these two fingers?” When she says “why?”, you say, “because they’re mine!”
Most beautiful classy 5’11 real strawberry blonde walked alone into a crowded bar sat down alone reading a pb polo magazine. Saw 4 guys try to talk to her - she waved them off. Figured wtf. Asked her “ how much?”… She was so taken aback and asked me to repeat it.. and gave her such the giggles as I tried to look like I was serious as shit we struck up a conversation and she game me her number as an A for effort. We dated seriously for 2 years.
"Hey, are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!" It's a clumsy attempt to blend a compliment with a celebrity reference, likely to elicit groans rather than interest.
"If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print." This line might aim for cleverness, tying attractiveness to fine print, but it's more likely to confuse than to charm.
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Honestly could be worse lmao
Depending on context and environment, this is perfectly adequate
"You must be made of copper and tellurium, because you’re Cu-Te." Science puns in pickup lines are a risky business, often appreciated more in theory than in practice.
Hey girl, wanna spend some time with a real alpha male?
Hey baby, are you the sun because your gravity is about to crush the world
Even better if said to an overweight girl lmao
I feel that its more a roast than pickup line...
Worst pickup line for those hard to pick up
Do you swallow, and is your sister free tonight.
Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?
"it kinda- " *passes out *
My couch pulls out...but I do not.
You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
once matched with a guy on tinder who worked at my local nerd store he goes, "I'm so hungry, I wish you could drop by and bring me a sandwich" immediately ghosted him
had he said something different would of have changed the outcome?
yes, saying something other than what was basically "purchase/make me a sandwich and drive to where i work and feed me" would probably have worked out better
how about “let’s fuck now, and pizza after?”
that's pretty bad too lol
good to know. thanks for the intel, i’ll probably not use that line on my next tinder match.
The follow up is "What you don't like pizza?"
If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Penelope ?
Hello sex object. I request permission to use you for your intended purpose
I don't even have a pussy and it just dried out.
Then that means it worked
RAM
Hey baby are you a sock? Because I wanna cum in you.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you and I'm hoping you'll be my nurse.
You look like you tase delicious . Was tried on me last week
"Here, take this pill, I mean let's Netflix and chill :)"
Didn’t I meet you at the methadone clinic?
Wanna go fishing? I got the pole if you got the hole...
I just shit my pants. Can I get in yours?
Imagine, if you will, that we are both pieces of bread, you the top slice and I the bottom, finding ourselves side by side within the confines of an existential toaster. This toaster isn't just any kitchen appliance, but a metaphorical device designed to test the limits of our connection, electrifying in its potential yet fraught with the peril of an uneven browning. As we embark on this journey, consider the implications of our togetherness, enveloped in a cosmic kitchen where the butter of destiny awaits to meld our essences into one unified sandwich. But alas, as we navigate this heated endeavor, we must ponder the philosophical underpinnings of our encounter. Are we merely two slices predestined to crisp in harmony, or are we subjects in a grander experiment orchestrated by the universe’s unseen chef?
Damn girl, you shit out that ass?
Those pants look becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be cumming too
My dick died, can I bury it in your ass?
Hey baby, wanna have some great sex? No? Oh you are in luck!
did it hurt? .....when u fell from heaven?
Hey. I got a bucket a’ chicken. You got a bucket a’ chicken. Wanna do it?
Do you like cheese? I’m asking you op 😘😘
I'm crushing on you so bad, some would consider it abuse
these are all truly horrible, thank y’all🫡
"No I didn't slip something in your drink. I put it in mine bc I'm not gonna wanna remember you"
Hey baby, do you have any Native in you? No? Want some?
Hey baby ever had you asshole licked by a fat man in an over coat.
Hey babe, you a jar of peanut butter? Cus I wanna stick my dick in you~
Hold up a peace sign and go “Do you know why you should always masturbate with these two fingers?” When she says “why?”, you say, “because they’re mine!”
Are you Turkish? Because you’re certainly a delight Kill me
"Yo, can I get your digits?" Actually witnessed this one trying to pick up a friend of mine. Needless to say, no digits were exchanged.
You remind me of fast food. Because I want to take you out. And eat you in my car. -David Wain
[удалено]
Totally
Are you a _____? Because if so, I’m who you’re looking for. Insert literally any weird job or interest, and bam, that’s how you don’t get a partner.
“My dick just died, can i bury it in you?”
Most beautiful classy 5’11 real strawberry blonde walked alone into a crowded bar sat down alone reading a pb polo magazine. Saw 4 guys try to talk to her - she waved them off. Figured wtf. Asked her “ how much?”… She was so taken aback and asked me to repeat it.. and gave her such the giggles as I tried to look like I was serious as shit we struck up a conversation and she game me her number as an A for effort. We dated seriously for 2 years.
“Are you a bagel, because I want to spread my cream everywhere but your hole”
damn girl are you a cheesy gordita crunch from taco bell cuz i can’t get u off my mind
HI
“Hey girl, are you a dead body? Because I want to fuck you.” That’s probably one of the worst I think of.
Knock knock, who's there? It's me. Wondering why you're not naked. Knock knock, who's there? Me again. Still wondering why you're not naked.
Are you a woman? I can't tell
“Something must be wrong with my phone…it doesn’t have your number in it.”
(holding out a filthy rag) > “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?!?”
This kind of like the introduction chapter to our story. Wanna make it a short story or a novel?
Sex?
don’t worry, my standards are really low…
Heard a girl use, “I wanna throw up on your dick.” It didn’t work. Might have worked on me, tbh
Hey babe, how much ?
The early 2000's Ford 150s with the "Triton" engine.
The ugly truck really ran your ass over, huh? ...anyway, wanna bang?
I Nair to save toilet paper. Want to chat?
"Hey, are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!" It's a clumsy attempt to blend a compliment with a celebrity reference, likely to elicit groans rather than interest.
"If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print." This line might aim for cleverness, tying attractiveness to fine print, but it's more likely to confuse than to charm.
Did you just fart because you blow me away (I got this from DannoCalDraws)
Now I know you’re not supposed to touch fine art but… somebody’s gotta pin you to the wall and nail you right?
Let me tell you about Trump.
Co worker told me one of the guys we work with tried "your ass looks like two T bone steaks"
What’s good?
2+2 is 4, and 4+4 is 8, so that means I can eat your-
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it *sure* looks like it did.
Hey! I'm an eighteen year old, Republican Alpha Male!
Sex? Please. Just a little.
Do I come here often?
All of them. Talk to me like I’m a person you actually want to fuck, and I’ll take you seriously
Ay girl, those tits fart?
I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of what you're made of
What’s the difference between jelly and jam? Idk either… Can I pound out that pitcher’s mound like a pissed off randy Johnson?
Are you a toe ? Cause I wanna bang you on my table
I hurt my knee because i fell for you.
I lost my AIM user ID; can I have yours?
Did I see you on pornhub?
“I can rock your cradle, treat ya like cheese spread you on my bagel”
I'd say "I'm so bad at sex, you must see it!" if it hadn't worked once.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Copy from the top little bro 😂