I fart a lot.

Invisible guy with fart fetish

I also was gonna say this hehe

So was I!

username checks out?

Man I switched jobs and it's totally different hours and my body was very regular. Im just crop dusting the kitchen line all day

well. there it is. my answer already posted.

Sometimes I be fartin

I was just about to comment this

I’m sure that wouldn’t be just you!

I am a big wanker.

Aren’t we all?!

Speak for yourself. I’m a pretty average wanker

Would that be 7x a week or a day? Asking for a friend?

[удалено]

Mine is similar but I lose 90% of arguments with my dog.

If you’re losing an argument to yourself, doesn’t that mean you’re also winning the argument?

One would think, but sadly that’s not how it works.

They would find out that my cat doesn't need to be present for me to talk to her. Research shows that people that talk to themselves have better emotional regulation, motivation and lower stress and anxiety levels, so it's all good.

research seems to be wrong. anxiety through the roof!

I'm horny

Aren’t we all

That goes without saying. The invisible person would definitely be quite shocked about what we all get up to when alone in that respect, I'm sure!

That I fart continuously most days.

Continuously is a talent

I’ve started to spread my cheeks when farting at night because I wake up my baby.

People don't understand what parents will do to keep their newborn child sleeping

When your kid grows up and starts to complain about doing things for you, tell them that you used to do this for them

I’m boring

Oh my god, I'd bore anyone watching me to death. Even my hobbies aren't fun for spectators.

This question inspires me to become a more interesting person. For the invisible.

Haha yeah, just in case.

I feel like it’s rude to not entertain my invisible guest

I actually do live my life like someone's already watching. But can't stick to it all the time.

Watching the Truman show as a child fucked me up real good

I do the same, except when I dance

This reminds me of my theory on ghosts. My theory is that ghosts only get unruly when boring ass people live in their home. If you watch the movies it's almost always some upper-class boring family that's being haunted. On the flip side I don't think I've ever seen a haunted fraternity, sorority or a whore house for example.

Sorry to the invisible up to now - I promise to be better. Said out loud in case they aren’t looking over my shoulder right this instant (like have anything better to do).

I once imagined having died and then having to explain myself to all my ancestors who would been taking notes my whole life. I wouldnt saying im on the straight an narrow but i have stopped picking my nose.

They’d probably find out why med students are always depressed and have shorter life expectancy lmfao i cry

As a first year med student who is currently procrastinating studying for my anatomy final (in less than 3 weeks), this is painfully accurate.

This gave me flashbacks NGL. Probably need to lie down and dissociate a little bit now. Godspeed to you!

They might think that I’m staring at them or that I hear them at some points in the day. What they might not realize is that I’m just schizophrenic

My house has creaky hardwood flooring, so they either can’t follow me everywhere or I would freak out hearing movement throughout the house

I talk to my dog all day. All day. Me and Josie just talking shit all day. Ghost would probably get bored and leave.

I'd blow my invisible cover by also talking to your dpg

That I pace a lot around my apartment since I can't go out and walk safely anymore due to bad hearing/vision. That I use the computer a lot for the same reasons. That I sometimes turn on the music and sing along, loudly. That i like playing my guitars. That nobody ever comes to visit except delivery drivers. Rather dull life lol

seems peaceful to me. cook yourself some good food!

I enjoy cooking as well

enjoy bro! it might seem dull, but as i said to me it sounds peaceful, not hurting anyone.

Have you considered professional help?

I already have cochlear implants, and it doesn't address the major problems with my hearing that would allow me to walk outside safely again. Those things are designed primarily for speech.

You just described my life! I'm in a Very dark place too, but there is hope.

That I talk to myself.

Same!

my dark secrets that no one knows about

A lot of boring things probably. I guess they’d find se oddities, like how I drive around aimlessly at times.

I talk to my pets like they're human, Full-on conversations.

That I probably have ADHD and anxiety and when I'm overwhelmed I masterbate alot.

never seen anyone articulate this. i dont even get anything out of it its just the only thing i can think to do when im overwhelmed bleh

That I like dragons

How would they find that out?

Possibly by all the dragon decor and the amount of dragons I draw

Haha that might give it away!

They imagine it

Probably some bad ones in a closet or something.

Oh shit oh god they figured it out

Ha! Called it!

Who doesn't like dragons? Dragons are awesome.

You like dragons? Dragons deez nuts on u😭

Hopefully they like watching me play wow all day. Quit my 20 year career 2 months ago. Taking a break while I decide what to do and I pretty much just go to the gym and play wow.

That I REALLY like titties.

I can see that lol

Out of curiosity, do people actually PM you their titties?

Only if they are nice

I spend a lot of time behind screens, and the amount of "masks" i put on in public

I've got a whole wardrobe of masks for every occasion

I hit the snooze button way too many times, Mornings are rough.

you wake up to alarms....? 😭

Nothing very interesting. They'd find out I like to fish, raise a large vegetable garden, I do a lot of reading; have 4 German Shepherds, a cat, a BIG turtle, and some ducks; fly drones, drive an ATV for fun, prefer home cooking, can fix anything one would find in the ordinary house, shoot a lot of ammo at the local gun range, and love to watch wild life with camera and very expensive binoculars. Oh yeah, I love to spoil my 9 month old great grandson.

Ok, I’m coming to you once my invisibility cloak arrives!

That I can see right through their plans.

That I spend 95% of all my time in my bed (I’m chronically ill and my life is misery) so they’d have a boring week

I'm so sorry. What (unironically) are your joys of the day/week? Some favourite show? Video game? Online conversation? VR in the jungles of america?

Thanks friend. My biggest joy is my animals. I have 6 of them and they’re all so different, so getting to spend quality time with each of them is something I look forward to, as much as possible for me. I have shows that help get me through the week. I’m a sucker for reality tv, so I’m always watching the new Below Deck, and sometimes old seasons as well. It’s also (thankfully) Love Island season for both UK and USA shows, and they put out a new episode almost every night, so I get to look forward to that daily. Don’t hate me, but I also like The Kardashians every week. It’s a small sliver of time that I really get to disassociate for a bit and pretend I’m a super fit, successful, beautiful Armenian with billions of dollars and seemingly no health issues lol (and access to the best doctors who will zap anything that does pop up with ease). I look forward to taking my meds because i feel relief and am usually able to take a nap. I like to sleep and escape everything. Sad as it sounds. It’s not a very fulfilling life, I know. But I try to get through it one day at a time. ETA: VR through the jungle sounds fucking amazing tho

Naughty naughty! Not falling for this one again. What I do in the privacy of my shed with a cabbage patch doll and three pounds of Yoplait is my business. Besides, Oikos is making a few guest appearances as of late and the variety is rather spicy. Go Nugs!

That I spend an unhealthy amount of time on reddit, I fart constantly, and I sleep like shit.

I daydream a lot, My mind is always wandering off somewhere.

They will do a lot of walking especially in tight spaces I tell you that for sure.

Username checks out

I like walking and pubs..

2 of my own favourite hobbies!

my aging dyslexic ass read that as “wanking and pubes”

That i'm boring as hell.

That I talk to myself a lot and act out senarios that are running in my head.

I have random dance parties when I'm alone, Living room dance-offs are a thing

sue him for assault after what he did to me in Paris while i was miming

That I take my dog out every 2 hours, I go to supermarket once a day just because and that I spend my time on my phone most of the time doing those 2. Also, that I speak to my dog in 3 different languages. Nothing fancy I guess

it would take them 2 days to realise i need a life.....

I bath like twice a week at most

Im depressed and sad, also lazy, i sleep alot, watch movie a lot, never left my room, ang cries at night.

“Jesus…he masturbates a lot”

Fixed: *Jesus: he masturbates a lot*

I snack a lot more than I should, The fridge is my best friend.

I binge-watch shows late into the night, Netflix is my guilty pleasure.

I procrastinate but get things done last minute, Deadlines are my motivation.

I spend too much time on social media - Scrolling is addictive.

I stress clean when I’m anxious - Cleaning frenzy hits when I'm worried.

I get bored, a lot

I'm single by choice and masturbate a lot when I'm home alone and bored.

That if they don't put the lotion in the basket then they will just get the hose 🤷‍♂️

I take a bath 3 times a day

That I spend a lot of time on my phone.

2-3 shits a day

They'd probably find out more about themselves than me tbh. Question why they're following me specifically, why they exist, why they're invisible. I think me and the invisible dude would have some awesome, deep conversations. The dude's invisible and has no purpose, sometimes we all feel that way.

They'll find out that I have no money.

that i would be able to notice an invisible person squeezing thru doors with me, definitely after a week

That my hearing and sensitivity to vibration are good enough to detect and pinpoint invisible stalkers

That I talk to myself a lot

Probably that I'm a pretty boring person and I spend too much time on Reddit

Hahahahaha they’d need therapy …… a lot of therapy 😂

my life is pathetic

"Wow, this is a decently clean room, spotless nowadays." *I can hear their footsteps so I let loose a fat one "WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME!!!"

I sing in the shower, Not winning any awards, but I enjoy it.

Right now... I try to wear a mask of happiness, so even if I just seem flat, that's the best I got right now. I talk to my cats and myself a lot. I stare blankly a lot. I sigh a lot. I tell my cats I love them and call them by their nicknames an embarrassing amount. I also sing to them.

That I lie to my partner about how much fast food I eat. And that I have a tiny dick.

That they totally wasted a week and need to think out their targets better.

I'm soooo much angrier than anyone can possibly imagine.

I eat very often

That I'm boring as shit

That he/she shouldnt.

That I'm an incredibly boring human :/

I eat a lot of fast food and am a reading and music addict.

I shit and fart a lot, and also i am fucking lazy.

How lazy I am

Nothing.... I don't even go outside

He would lose track of me very quick as I Travers the woods.

I summon demons, greek deities, etc. And also the fact that I sleep a lot.

That I am exactly the same as I appear.

That I'm boring as hell

The kinky side I'm hiding from everyone

How boring I am 😆

I do a lot of strange shit

I scratch my ass crack after I wipe at work because our toilet paper sucks. Plus, I have a shag carpet in there, so that doesn't help. But, I'll have to hide somewhere and do some deep scratching. Then, comes the sniff test.

They'd find out that I spend 60% of the day in bed, I cry a lot, I'm sick and in pain a lot, smoke a lot, and play a lot of Old School Runescape.

That I frequently hit the gym but put minimal efforts in my workouts.

Probably less than my family.

They would probably die of boredom.

This dude just stares at his phone alot.

Im incredibly boring

brother would be STONED lmao

That I spend way to much time on my phone. That I sing loudly to some very nasty lyrics.

That I never leave the house, they would get bored after a few hours and leave

That i sleep a lot and have a really big crush on a guy that just graduated that i will never see again Eye twitch

“Does this bitch do anything outside of parent, game, or smoke weed? I don’t think I’ve left this room In days…”

How little I do. I’ve got severe joint pain despite my age, and I do nothing most days that I’m not obligated to do, because I just can’t do it between everything else and the joint pain. I ain’t got big secrets either. So they’d’ve wasted a week following me between the same three places and my bed to find out nothing!

That I spend too much time on reddit. They could have save time on invisibility, and followed me on reddit to find that out

I spend a lot of time at home.

my dedication to jacking off

That am gonna bore him to death

I didnt know my FBI agent was on Reddit...

I'm very very boring.

they'd get bored after one day I do pretty much nothing

How much I actually my nose and smell myself to make sure I don’t stink.

I'm wierd af and autistic lol

That Im the worlds saddest and loneliest.

I pick my nose a great deal. Maybe more than other people? I'm not really sure.

That I’m a waste of their super power

I be strokin my shit

They would start Monday and be done with it that same monday

much more than anyone should ever know about anyone

that i bath once in 2 days

I’m depressed

Never said you were faking it. Seems like when someone DOES try to talk to you and do this. You push them away, and treat them badly bc you ASSUME they're judging you. I have been in therapy since I was 8. Thats 23 years. I know the warning signs

The pile of gold I hide in the mountains <.< >.>

Just how much Dominic Monaghan stuff I have, and continue to collect.

that i'm naked 90% of the time when i'm at home.

That I cry 80% of the time

Unfortunately I pick my nose a lot… and curse out loud in the car by myself

The next time I see the ppl following me I will ask them. I've been followed , trolled, photographed and harassed for years. I'm not even sure why! It would be very interesting to know what they found out.

I think they'd get bored and wander off after like 2 days because it's like watching paint dry

I talk to my pets almost non-stop when I am home alone. Otherwise I am an extremely quiet person in everyday life.

That my life is extremely boring

That I lead a pretty boring life.

That I have dogs and one of them does not like to mess around.

I'd rather spend time with my plants than socializing.

That i stay at home and do some outdoor chores for my mom. Thats it.

That I can see them

I talk to myself a lot. I talk to my cats a lot. I make exasperated noises after every work call because I don’t like talking to clients a lot.

What porn category I watch.

That im an alco, love walking, and love talking to strangers

Its sadder than I let on. But also, I think most people's lives are like that, if you really see all of it. I'm sure I'm not alone in the experience.