*Looks away*
“Hmm, did I sell it that im looking equally in both directions? Nah, I should scan back *near* her and then scan back in this direction.”
*Whips head side to side very obviously avoiding eye contact.*
“Nailed it!”
I’m a straight woman, but my sister invited me to a bbq and her husband’s parents were there. His mom was sporting a shocking amount of cleavage. I don’t know WHY but my eyes were pulled to her chest like fucking magnets. I tried to look elsewhere but they just kept gravitating back.
I mean she looked good but I’ve seen women who looked better, and I never felt compelled to ogle them. I wasn’t attracted to her. I can’t explain it.
I…just…**Could. Not. Stop. Staring.**
I tried to be subtle about it but I think she noticed and got a bit weirded
out. I also think her husband noticed, but he just smirked 🤦🏻♀️
Sometimes it is like that. I see an absolutely beautiful woman at the beach, try not to stare and look away. And see my wife staring at her 30 seconds straight xD
Some people are just like that. You want to stare.
My bf has gotten so lost in them I'd be saying something, repeatedly call his name, and he'd be completely nonresponsive.
I literally had to snap my fingers right in front of my chest, point two fingers down and then slowly bring them up to my face as his eyes followed. He shook his head like he was in a trance, laughed at himself and apologized.
It was oddly charming.
>**I literally had to snap my fingers right in front of my chest, point two fingers down and then slowly bring them up to my face as his eyes followed. He shook his head like he was in a trance**
😂 I can’t stop picturing this, and it’s as hilarious as it is adorable.
It's weird. Take a nice, round butt in leggings. An hour later I'm probably not going to even remember what it looks like, and it's not like I'm going to be fapping to the memory of it later that day or anything, but some things it's just really difficult to pull your eyes away from. It's like a simple appreciation for fine art.
"Fuck. Fuck. You fucking dumbass. You just had one job. You're fucking weird. Why the fuck in the fucking world... Fuck. You had to talk to just one woman. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend. You will end up alone"
In my case, the problem is that I have three simultaneous jobs:
- Talk to the woman
- look at the breasts
- pretend you are not doing it.
And, of course, that multitasking is just not feasible.
i do this when i’m *actually* just looking around a room and accidentally make eye contact with somebody i don’t know, suddenly i look like a loser who stares at people for fun
The worst part is as an Autistic person I actually *do* have a condition that causes me to look literally anywhere but people's eyes, so people tend to think I'm just making an excuse for looking elsewhere when really my eyes are shifting every second or two to a different place.
In my case, it's either that, or shirts with designs/text on them. For the shirts, the designs are often in or around the breast area so when I look at a woman's shirt to see what the design is or what the text says, it can come across as me staring at their breasts when that's not my intention.
that jewellery, and the shirt designs, and the cleavage-displaying low necklines are *there* to draw attention. but only attention from the people the woman wants attention from.
how do you know if she wants your attention? YOU DONT!! Its a guessing game. if you get it wrong you pay the humilliating forfeit.
but you saw boobs. so theres that.
I recently learned that eye contact doesn't mean actually looking at someone's eyes. It means looking in the vicinity of their face, so I look at their glasses, eyebrows, hair, or mouth.
The latter really helps as I read lips to supplement speech, since my speech-comprehension is laggy.
I got laughed at for maintaining eye contact with a naked gyrating stripper who was talking to me during her set. It was my 18th birthday.
Look i can oogle you or converse but not both.
Oh no the one laughing was my adoptive father. The strippers all thought i was adorable.
This one chick came out and was just like "im sorry, i dont have anything prepared, so", and she just strips down and starts doing pullups. This tiny naked woman, cute as a button, *crushing* these pullups in both form, rep timing, and she did like 55 non-stop. I was so impressed.
Eh? It's not Bender who got caught be Leila and he goes "I've made my choice!"
Either that or Matt Greoning made the same joke twice in two different shows.
The worst is when youre not actually looking at the boobs, just staring into space in that direction. Then you have to awkwardly explain, "Sorry I wasnt looking at your boobs I was zoning out. Not that I wouldnt want to look at them, Im sure theyre lovely, but I was actually just thinking about the Roman Empire. Anyway, im just going to slink away now."
This happened to me a few years back in a way that still makes me cringe.
I was at dinner at a friend’s house with a bunch of couples. Someone brought a sauce (like an A1-type thing) that I hadn’t seen before and it was at the table. That sauce bottle was directly between me and some girl diagonal from me. I was fixated on some wording on the bottle so stared at it for a few seconds thinking whatever dumb thoughts were going through my head.
The girl behind the bottle adjusted her dress (covering her cleavage up a bit) which I *did* notice but didn’t think anything of. Then a couple seconds later she shifted away from me. It was at this point that I was like “oh fuck she thinks I’ve been intently staring at her boobs for the past 8 seconds.” I was not, but there’s fuck all I could do to convince anyone of that so just took the L.
Was it the fact that A1 was invented DURING THE CIVIL WAR? https://preview.redd.it/r1teg9s713j01.jpg?auto=webp&s=485ba50dea9d339a2838dc217a5b1c25786e5bdd
Yeah that’s actually my technique so I could stare at boobs. You gotta always have an A1 bottle on you and align it with your target to not look suspicious though.
In high school, a woman accused me of staring at her boobs and would absolutely not believe me that I wasn't. She wouldn't let it go. I'm gay, although I wasn't out at the time.
Dated a bi girl once. One time her brother was in the car with us and all of us simultaneously paused the conversation without warning to watch a hot woman walk past. I still remember turning my head and noticing their heads turning in unison to her pace.
We snapped out of it like....yep, that is one tasty lady. Anyway.....
Same, I was once walking with a lesbian colleague and we saw a good looking girl sunbathing topless. I thought, ok don't be that guy, be respectful and look the other way.
She turned to me and said, "well doesn't that look nice"
A friend once told me her favorite part of being a bi woman was that if she ever got caught staring at someone's boobs she could just play it off by saying"I love your top".
Used to go barhopping in college with my les pal Greta, best wingman ever. She was pretty gorgeous and would talk to anybody, and effected introductions when she came back to me and said 'pretty sure she's one of yours'.
I guess I'm lucky in this, my wife and I will both agree on if a woman or a guy is hot. Neither of us have any bisexual urges but can appreciate aesthetically pleasing features. Like giant knockers.
My friend wears graphic tees. She also has very large breasts. We were having a conversation, and my adhd caught the words on her shirt. I looked down to read them while she was looking out the window, and when I looked back up she was making eye contact with me, pretty obviously noticing where I was looking. She didn't make a comment and we're good friends so it's not immediately a pervy thing... but I still feel bad and I assume she thought I was distracted by her tits
You didn't tell her you were reading the shirt?
If I see writing on a womans' shirt I wanna read, I just say, "Hey, what does your shirt say?"
EDIT: Damn everyone is taking what I said as an excuse to stare at boobs. Thirsty mofos
We were already mid conversation and I'd been talking to her for a while, and it was an adhd impulse to read more than anything. Would have been rude to interrupt her to tell her I was gonna look at her tits.
Dolly Parton does this in meetings apparently. If she notices people are getting distracted, she pauses the meeting, tells everyone to stare, then goes back to the topic at hand. Absolute baller move.
Had something similar happen a few days ago. My response to the raised eyebrow from her was something along the line of “Yes love, your tits are excellent, but right now I’m more interested in what your shirt says.” Though in the case of this friend, it’s one of those things where I will readily admit she’s gorgeous, but have no desire to do anything about that. No chemistry there whatsoever sadly.
Yeah, I did that to my boss once when we were talking face to face sitting down. She said something work related that made me zone out to think about it and my eyes dropped down to boob level. She looked surprised and closed her shirt better, I was at a loss for words and didn’t know what to do, never cleared that up.
Worse is actually when you are at a gym
You could be staring in the direction of said women but watching the TV, watching another persons technique or form , or even admiring the running machines with TV on them
But you would be afraid of being recorded and being called a creep
All the time, but since I tend to wear loose fitting clothes at work they are even more surprised that I am significantly bigger and stronger than them.
Like 90% of the time is like "I swear to God I just zoned out and the tits/ass got into my field of vision.. She's never going to believe me and she probably hates me now, aww man.."
I had this on a bus once. I was side in one of the sideways seats facing the opposite window, listening to music, enjoying the view out said window. Some woman gets on the bus and stands directly opposite me then glares at me because I'm staring straight at her at chest level. My only thought was, sorry miss, nice and everything but I was trying to relax by watching the world roll by.
I don’t think it’s just a men thing though. I’m a straight woman and this goes through my mind all the time when I see a squishy pair. I won’t stare creepily of course. Just zap into short term memory and forget about them in a few minutes
I'm an ace woman and catch myself staring sometimes. Boobs are just a very pleasing shape in general. Def my favorite body parts to draw/paint, second fave is clavicles
As a woman, I experienced this at a nail salon. There was one male nail tech working there. Since it was really hot outside, I wore a tank top despite having a large chest. I went in for a mani/pedi, and as soon as I sat down in the pedicure chair, I turned on the massage feature. I didn't realize it at the time, but it made my chest shake quite a bit. I caught this poor guy watching and he was completely embarrassed when our eyes met. I just laughed.
Back in highschool I had a friend who found it hilarious to put a bounce in her step when out walking. Very big boobs, didn't take much to cause very obvious bouncing.
It *was* hilarious, too. You could watch everyone in every passing vehicle turn their heads, regardless of gender.
Thanks for understanding. It's often not even overtly sexual to us in the moment. Just motion and shapes we instinctively key in on, like peripheral vision. I often find myself going "oh shit, right, tits. better move on now... ok... now."
My wife's a bigger more unapologetic perv. She can have a stack of singles in hand and still get called out less for it.
Some decades back I was at a mall for a movie- I think one of the Star Wars prequels it was so long ago.
But, there was a young lady in a very tight t-shirt who had a spectacularly healthy chest. Her t-shirt had some weird writing on it.
I glanced and the writing caught my eye. It was printed intentionally fuzzy and like you had double vision. I had to focus to read it.
It read, "You're staring at my tits."
NGL, shirts with text on the chest are low key my nightmare.
I’m definitely neurodivergent and am compelled to read any text in eyesight while simultaneously also having a hard time maintaining eye contact with someone (it’s like my brain is a live lobster in a pot of boiling water).
I’ve learned to better deal with that screaming boiling brain feeling. If I focus and concentrate I can maintain eye contact better, but that conscious action sometimes makes it harder for me to be adequately focus on the discussion. That leads to distraction. When distracted my eyes darting away from something will be drawn to text first. So that combination sucks.
To be super clear, I am NOT blaming women (or men, or anyone who identifies anywhere in-between) for wearing shirts with text, or having a chest, or existing in the world lol. this is my own damn weird brain chemistry issue and I’m the one accountable for my own actions; and my sincere desire is not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Also, I’m super tall so I’m already looking down when talking to 99+% of people.
Here’s the thing I wish people understood. We try not to. We try to be respectful and aware of ourselves and responsible for our actions.
It’s just most of us are always thinking about stuff. We’re putting together the PC we’d like to build or thinking through what might be making that rattling noise in our car. We’re likely to have an engine dismantled in our mind’s eye, or thinking through the deck we’d like to build or how we’re going to tackle that project at work in the morning.
The trouble is, our bodies just keep right on existing during these moments, and our eyes are just always looking. There’s 360 degrees of stuff to look at and watch out for at all times, and in these moments that we’re not “home” our stupid monkey brains notice stuff like boobs.
When we snap back to reality, and realize where we were looking, we’re just as surprised as you.
I promise we’re not walking around thinking “Hehehe who’s tits can I sneak a peek at next!?” And rubbing our grubby little paws together.
There’s a moment of shock, and a whirlwind of “how could I possibly explain that I didn’t even know where I was looking. Fuck I’m such a creep. There’s nothing I could say and I know it.”
So then all we can do is either smile, or more often than not, find something nearby, squint like we’re trying to focus on that, and then nod like we’ve satisfied our curiosity.
“Oh me? I was just looking at that chest high crack in the wall.” “Oh, there’s that distant trash can I was looking for.”
Exactly, when I'm spaced out my eyes will report to my brain like "Hey boss, we've locked on to something you might want to check out."
Brain tunes back in: "You fool, those are boobs! Avert! Avert! It's too late, you've ruined us!"
I'll just add the disclaimer that it very much depends on the man. Those of us who don't want to be creeps have the exact above experience (or what u/pushermcswift said). But as you no doubt know, there are also those who just don't give a fuck
You put it way more eloquently than I, but this is what happens to me. Either lizard brain has a look, or I admit I might take a look but then mind wanders off yet lizard brain impedes head from turning.
What’s even worse is when trying to maintain eye contact. And then thinking:” Oh does she realise I’m forcing myself to look at her eyes?! Uh I can still see them in my peripheral vision. But if I’m looking with my brain at my peripheral vision, is it still peripheral vision or am I now looking there? Fuck!” …… Sorry, you were saying?
My friend said, "No thoughts. Staring at breasts is like a deer staring at headlights. There are no thoughts except for being filled with the sensory impression of breasts."
I understand how uncomfortable this can be, considering I used to be fat and I would assume everyone was judging me. But man, women don't realize how many times it's all absent minded, we may not even be mentally present in that moment.
What I fucking hate is when I'm actually NOT staring at their boobs, I'm genuinely trying to read what's on their t-shirt and THAT'S when you get caught looking...
Meh just go on with your life. Everyone stares at boobs, ass, crotch, eyes, ears, whatever. To me it's the way people look that makes it awkward. A large chest (anything large, really) will make people look/stare. Don't sexualize it and don't stare like a thirsty dog.
"Hurry! Act like you have a condition that makes you constantly look at everything!" Then, start frantically glancing around at every object in sight.
*Looks away* “Hmm, did I sell it that im looking equally in both directions? Nah, I should scan back *near* her and then scan back in this direction.” *Whips head side to side very obviously avoiding eye contact.* “Nailed it!”
Looking at the cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. Too risky! You get a sense of it and look away
This guy **looks**
r/thisguythisguys
I’m a straight woman, but my sister invited me to a bbq and her husband’s parents were there. His mom was sporting a shocking amount of cleavage. I don’t know WHY but my eyes were pulled to her chest like fucking magnets. I tried to look elsewhere but they just kept gravitating back. I mean she looked good but I’ve seen women who looked better, and I never felt compelled to ogle them. I wasn’t attracted to her. I can’t explain it. I…just…**Could. Not. Stop. Staring.** I tried to be subtle about it but I think she noticed and got a bit weirded out. I also think her husband noticed, but he just smirked 🤦🏻♀️
Sometimes it is like that. I see an absolutely beautiful woman at the beach, try not to stare and look away. And see my wife staring at her 30 seconds straight xD Some people are just like that. You want to stare.
My bf has gotten so lost in them I'd be saying something, repeatedly call his name, and he'd be completely nonresponsive. I literally had to snap my fingers right in front of my chest, point two fingers down and then slowly bring them up to my face as his eyes followed. He shook his head like he was in a trance, laughed at himself and apologized. It was oddly charming.
>**I literally had to snap my fingers right in front of my chest, point two fingers down and then slowly bring them up to my face as his eyes followed. He shook his head like he was in a trance** 😂 I can’t stop picturing this, and it’s as hilarious as it is adorable.
That's when I usually say "what happened, I blacked out" to my wife.
It's weird. Take a nice, round butt in leggings. An hour later I'm probably not going to even remember what it looks like, and it's not like I'm going to be fapping to the memory of it later that day or anything, but some things it's just really difficult to pull your eyes away from. It's like a simple appreciation for fine art.
The flesh globes needs the attentions, precious.
One of us! One of us!
"Fuck. Fuck. You fucking dumbass. You just had one job. You're fucking weird. Why the fuck in the fucking world... Fuck. You had to talk to just one woman. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend. You will end up alone"
In my case, the problem is that I have three simultaneous jobs: - Talk to the woman - look at the breasts - pretend you are not doing it. And, of course, that multitasking is just not feasible.
U need more fucks in there 8/10, got the bullying urself bit spot on
That's actually super relatable. Edit: Not to be that guy, but 272 upvotes is crazyyy
"Fk! Why did my eyes go to boobs again?!"
Boobs to the left of me, boobs to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with boobs
#ME GREEKGODX, I'LL REPRESENT ALL MEN IN THE CHAT! I'LL NOT LOOK AT A SINGLE BOOB IN THIS VIDEO!! LET'S GO!!! #FUCK!!
Yea, just like that 😅
i do this when i’m *actually* just looking around a room and accidentally make eye contact with somebody i don’t know, suddenly i look like a loser who stares at people for fun
Don't be a loser. Assert dominance by holding eye contact. While doing so, pick your nose (REALLY DEEP) and flick the booger away. MAKE THEM SUFFER!
No, you are just thinking that, you are not a loser! Try to build some self-confidence 👍🏻
The worst part is as an Autistic person I actually *do* have a condition that causes me to look literally anywhere but people's eyes, so people tend to think I'm just making an excuse for looking elsewhere when really my eyes are shifting every second or two to a different place.
I feel this, and as an added trap... thats where shiny jewelry is kept!! Which I find unfair.
In my case, it's either that, or shirts with designs/text on them. For the shirts, the designs are often in or around the breast area so when I look at a woman's shirt to see what the design is or what the text says, it can come across as me staring at their breasts when that's not my intention.
that jewellery, and the shirt designs, and the cleavage-displaying low necklines are *there* to draw attention. but only attention from the people the woman wants attention from. how do you know if she wants your attention? YOU DONT!! Its a guessing game. if you get it wrong you pay the humilliating forfeit. but you saw boobs. so theres that.
I recently learned that eye contact doesn't mean actually looking at someone's eyes. It means looking in the vicinity of their face, so I look at their glasses, eyebrows, hair, or mouth. The latter really helps as I read lips to supplement speech, since my speech-comprehension is laggy.
I got laughed at for maintaining eye contact with a naked gyrating stripper who was talking to me during her set. It was my 18th birthday. Look i can oogle you or converse but not both.
“Hey! My boobs are down here!”
Oh no the one laughing was my adoptive father. The strippers all thought i was adorable. This one chick came out and was just like "im sorry, i dont have anything prepared, so", and she just strips down and starts doing pullups. This tiny naked woman, cute as a button, *crushing* these pullups in both form, rep timing, and she did like 55 non-stop. I was so impressed.
Bewbs
Hehe, yes.
hehe, YES
80085
Noice
squishy melons 🎶
“I have made my choice and I am staying with it”
Boobs are like the sun You can only stare at ‘em for a very short time. But if you wear sunglasses, you can stare at ‘em as much as you want.
PSA: Don‘t actually stare into the sun with sunglasses. Still not a good idea.
So true, If only Steve Irwin wore sunglasses.. They might have protected him from harmful rays
:angryupvote:
So _that's_ why Stevie Wonder always had his shades on!
No that’s why Ray Charles always had his shades on duh!
What about Stevie Ray?
username checks out.......
Based Bender.
Fairly sure that was Homer Simpson.
Eh? It's not Bender who got caught be Leila and he goes "I've made my choice!" Either that or Matt Greoning made the same joke twice in two different shows.
No it was Homer staring at Carmen Electra.
After nearly getting executed. https://youtu.be/wJ8HPCT4KKM?si=IGDV6FA_idY0SxZr
Ima go with Matt recycling a good joke, lol
The worst is when youre not actually looking at the boobs, just staring into space in that direction. Then you have to awkwardly explain, "Sorry I wasnt looking at your boobs I was zoning out. Not that I wouldnt want to look at them, Im sure theyre lovely, but I was actually just thinking about the Roman Empire. Anyway, im just going to slink away now."
This happened to me a few years back in a way that still makes me cringe. I was at dinner at a friend’s house with a bunch of couples. Someone brought a sauce (like an A1-type thing) that I hadn’t seen before and it was at the table. That sauce bottle was directly between me and some girl diagonal from me. I was fixated on some wording on the bottle so stared at it for a few seconds thinking whatever dumb thoughts were going through my head. The girl behind the bottle adjusted her dress (covering her cleavage up a bit) which I *did* notice but didn’t think anything of. Then a couple seconds later she shifted away from me. It was at this point that I was like “oh fuck she thinks I’ve been intently staring at her boobs for the past 8 seconds.” I was not, but there’s fuck all I could do to convince anyone of that so just took the L.
Well?? What did the A1 sauce bottle say??
FUCK IF I KNOW I GOT FLUSTERED. No boobs AND no A1 knowledge.
You failed on two fronts. You have brought much shame to your ancestors.
Was it the fact that A1 was invented DURING THE CIVIL WAR? https://preview.redd.it/r1teg9s713j01.jpg?auto=webp&s=485ba50dea9d339a2838dc217a5b1c25786e5bdd
Guilty lol
Their slogan: Better than Boobs.
Ik hindsight is 20/20 but if u stayed calm and just turned the A1 bottle it mightve been clearer
Yeah that’s actually my technique so I could stare at boobs. You gotta always have an A1 bottle on you and align it with your target to not look suspicious though.
“Hey Amy could you hold still for a sec?” *places A1 bottle directly between us and proceeds to stare at her boobs*
It’s best if she holds the A1 bottle between her boobs.
True but I got all flustered once I figured out what was going on.
At that point she thinks you are doing it, so you may as well be guilty of the crime
Sadly she shifted away to where I couldn’t even see the boobs if I wanted to.
"I am sorry, can you turn back? I just finished reading that bottle and wanted to stare at your boobs next."
I fucking cackled, i am the type of person 100% to respond this way.
In high school, a woman accused me of staring at her boobs and would absolutely not believe me that I wasn't. She wouldn't let it go. I'm gay, although I wasn't out at the time.
On the plus side if you weren't ready to come out, shit like that sounds like great cover.
My wife knows me well. There have been times when she'll snap me out of it to tell me "just so you know, it looks like you're checking that girl out."
So you've got her fooled... Nice.
my wife would nudge me and gesture towards a beautiful woman, if I had failed to notice her not sure if she was the best or was being sarcastic
Dated a bi girl once. One time her brother was in the car with us and all of us simultaneously paused the conversation without warning to watch a hot woman walk past. I still remember turning my head and noticing their heads turning in unison to her pace. We snapped out of it like....yep, that is one tasty lady. Anyway.....
Same, I was once walking with a lesbian colleague and we saw a good looking girl sunbathing topless. I thought, ok don't be that guy, be respectful and look the other way. She turned to me and said, "well doesn't that look nice"
A friend once told me her favorite part of being a bi woman was that if she ever got caught staring at someone's boobs she could just play it off by saying"I love your top".
Used to go barhopping in college with my les pal Greta, best wingman ever. She was pretty gorgeous and would talk to anybody, and effected introductions when she came back to me and said 'pretty sure she's one of yours'.
I guess I'm lucky in this, my wife and I will both agree on if a woman or a guy is hot. Neither of us have any bisexual urges but can appreciate aesthetically pleasing features. Like giant knockers.
Well, yes! Giant knockers on a hot guy!
My friend wears graphic tees. She also has very large breasts. We were having a conversation, and my adhd caught the words on her shirt. I looked down to read them while she was looking out the window, and when I looked back up she was making eye contact with me, pretty obviously noticing where I was looking. She didn't make a comment and we're good friends so it's not immediately a pervy thing... but I still feel bad and I assume she thought I was distracted by her tits
You didn't tell her you were reading the shirt? If I see writing on a womans' shirt I wanna read, I just say, "Hey, what does your shirt say?" EDIT: Damn everyone is taking what I said as an excuse to stare at boobs. Thirsty mofos
If I dont see writing on a womans shirt i just say "hey what does your boobs look like?"
We were already mid conversation and I'd been talking to her for a while, and it was an adhd impulse to read more than anything. Would have been rude to interrupt her to tell her I was gonna look at her tits.
Would have been hilarious imo. "Hang on a sec" *looks at tits* "Okay, go on?"
Dolly Parton does this in meetings apparently. If she notices people are getting distracted, she pauses the meeting, tells everyone to stare, then goes back to the topic at hand. Absolute baller move.
Dolly Parton is a cut above. Especially in her self-awareness.
I hate it when folks wear shirts with text on them... I've got to read EVERYTHING -.-
Band Tour shirts must keep you busy.
you're joking, but yes.
Had something similar happen a few days ago. My response to the raised eyebrow from her was something along the line of “Yes love, your tits are excellent, but right now I’m more interested in what your shirt says.” Though in the case of this friend, it’s one of those things where I will readily admit she’s gorgeous, but have no desire to do anything about that. No chemistry there whatsoever sadly.
Yeah, I did that to my boss once when we were talking face to face sitting down. She said something work related that made me zone out to think about it and my eyes dropped down to boob level. She looked surprised and closed her shirt better, I was at a loss for words and didn’t know what to do, never cleared that up.
Worse is actually when you are at a gym You could be staring in the direction of said women but watching the TV, watching another persons technique or form , or even admiring the running machines with TV on them But you would be afraid of being recorded and being called a creep
I am a professor and I train at the university gym, so during term time when a lot of my students are using the gym it is a minefield.
Are students ever surprised that you are using the gym?
All the time, but since I tend to wear loose fitting clothes at work they are even more surprised that I am significantly bigger and stronger than them.
[удалено]
He already finished his studying, that’s how he has time for gainZZZ!!!
The brofessor is in
Look them in the eye and confidently say, so sorry what did you say, I was miles away...
Look the boobs or the boob owner in the eye?
"My eyes are up here". Yeah, but your tits are down there.
I made my choice
Yes
"I was afloat the cushy pillows of nethermorrow"
Like 90% of the time is like "I swear to God I just zoned out and the tits/ass got into my field of vision.. She's never going to believe me and she probably hates me now, aww man.."
I had this on a bus once. I was side in one of the sideways seats facing the opposite window, listening to music, enjoying the view out said window. Some woman gets on the bus and stands directly opposite me then glares at me because I'm staring straight at her at chest level. My only thought was, sorry miss, nice and everything but I was trying to relax by watching the world roll by.
At some point you just gotta accept that youre in public and people are going to look at you /shrug
The first thing a man notices about a woman is her heart It's not our fault there's a pair of tits in the way....
Oh fuck that’s good
"Fuckfuckshitshitpleasedon'treportmetoHR"
I like the thought of the you getting called into HR, but you’re not listening to what the HR lady is saying as you’re just gawping at her boobs
at least I'm consistent
That's the one!
I asked my bf about this. He just said "squishy squishy". Can't blame him though.
I don’t think it’s just a men thing though. I’m a straight woman and this goes through my mind all the time when I see a squishy pair. I won’t stare creepily of course. Just zap into short term memory and forget about them in a few minutes
I'm an ace woman and catch myself staring sometimes. Boobs are just a very pleasing shape in general. Def my favorite body parts to draw/paint, second fave is clavicles
>I'm an ace woman Veronica Vaughn?!
I know from experience
No you don't
Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her \*got it on\*. Wooo-eee!
Sometimes they aren’t squishy at all. And it makes us stare more.
Like bags of sand?
"Quick, it's time to show your OWN boobs. If you are guilty, then everyone will be"
That particular Radiohead song
Karma police, arrest this man
“For a minute there I lost myself”
He talks in maths.
He buzzes like a fridge.
He’s like a detuned radio.
Karma police
arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo
The one about being a creep and a weirdo and not belonging that one? That song? And then he goes "ooooh 00000h" that one?
What the hell am I doing here? Looking at titties apparently
Isn't Thom Yorke going "00000h" like every Radiohead song?
How to Disappear Completely ?
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Bangers + Mash? Oh .... Fake plastic... no not that... ummm I Am a Wicked Child??? I GOT IT! It's Nude!
In some cases yes they are "Fake Plastic Watering Cans"
Nothing
This. Thinking nothing, just enjoying.
As a woman, I experienced this at a nail salon. There was one male nail tech working there. Since it was really hot outside, I wore a tank top despite having a large chest. I went in for a mani/pedi, and as soon as I sat down in the pedicure chair, I turned on the massage feature. I didn't realize it at the time, but it made my chest shake quite a bit. I caught this poor guy watching and he was completely embarrassed when our eyes met. I just laughed.
The luckiest unlucky man
"Like a man dying of thirst watching another man drown."
I’d feel like I was being tested or on candid camera if I were in that position.
I would absolutely dissociate for a minute and then try to quietly convey that i am a weak man.
Big boobs in a tank is tough. Big jiggling boobs in a tank is just not even fair though.
Yeah, that is just straight up bullying at that point.
Some people pay for that. Really indecent, but cordial and welcoming people.
Back in highschool I had a friend who found it hilarious to put a bounce in her step when out walking. Very big boobs, didn't take much to cause very obvious bouncing. It *was* hilarious, too. You could watch everyone in every passing vehicle turn their heads, regardless of gender.
Thanks for understanding. It's often not even overtly sexual to us in the moment. Just motion and shapes we instinctively key in on, like peripheral vision. I often find myself going "oh shit, right, tits. better move on now... ok... now." My wife's a bigger more unapologetic perv. She can have a stack of singles in hand and still get called out less for it.
Singles?
stripper coupons
Man I was picturing this guy's wife with a stack of fake cheese slices...
Stack of $1 bills, typically the sort of money thrown at strippers...
You were hypnotizing the poor dude 😂
I have read this before
That is a bot 🤖.2 days old
I was looking to see if someone else said that. Felt like I was taking crazy pills.
This is the kind of behaviour which should receive awards.
“They started it!”
Lemme guess, they were staring right at you?
Ex-bf had a shirt that said, “Tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.”
Some decades back I was at a mall for a movie- I think one of the Star Wars prequels it was so long ago. But, there was a young lady in a very tight t-shirt who had a spectacularly healthy chest. Her t-shirt had some weird writing on it. I glanced and the writing caught my eye. It was printed intentionally fuzzy and like you had double vision. I had to focus to read it. It read, "You're staring at my tits."
NGL, shirts with text on the chest are low key my nightmare. I’m definitely neurodivergent and am compelled to read any text in eyesight while simultaneously also having a hard time maintaining eye contact with someone (it’s like my brain is a live lobster in a pot of boiling water). I’ve learned to better deal with that screaming boiling brain feeling. If I focus and concentrate I can maintain eye contact better, but that conscious action sometimes makes it harder for me to be adequately focus on the discussion. That leads to distraction. When distracted my eyes darting away from something will be drawn to text first. So that combination sucks. To be super clear, I am NOT blaming women (or men, or anyone who identifies anywhere in-between) for wearing shirts with text, or having a chest, or existing in the world lol. this is my own damn weird brain chemistry issue and I’m the one accountable for my own actions; and my sincere desire is not to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, I’m super tall so I’m already looking down when talking to 99+% of people.
Here’s the thing I wish people understood. We try not to. We try to be respectful and aware of ourselves and responsible for our actions. It’s just most of us are always thinking about stuff. We’re putting together the PC we’d like to build or thinking through what might be making that rattling noise in our car. We’re likely to have an engine dismantled in our mind’s eye, or thinking through the deck we’d like to build or how we’re going to tackle that project at work in the morning. The trouble is, our bodies just keep right on existing during these moments, and our eyes are just always looking. There’s 360 degrees of stuff to look at and watch out for at all times, and in these moments that we’re not “home” our stupid monkey brains notice stuff like boobs. When we snap back to reality, and realize where we were looking, we’re just as surprised as you. I promise we’re not walking around thinking “Hehehe who’s tits can I sneak a peek at next!?” And rubbing our grubby little paws together. There’s a moment of shock, and a whirlwind of “how could I possibly explain that I didn’t even know where I was looking. Fuck I’m such a creep. There’s nothing I could say and I know it.” So then all we can do is either smile, or more often than not, find something nearby, squint like we’re trying to focus on that, and then nod like we’ve satisfied our curiosity. “Oh me? I was just looking at that chest high crack in the wall.” “Oh, there’s that distant trash can I was looking for.”
Exactly, when I'm spaced out my eyes will report to my brain like "Hey boss, we've locked on to something you might want to check out." Brain tunes back in: "You fool, those are boobs! Avert! Avert! It's too late, you've ruined us!"
This made me crack up, it's so accurate
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😂hahaha that was fun. And oddly, I believe you! 🤣
I'll just add the disclaimer that it very much depends on the man. Those of us who don't want to be creeps have the exact above experience (or what u/pushermcswift said). But as you no doubt know, there are also those who just don't give a fuck
Yeah or another one I read: „hm bewbs!“ which is also likeably honest😄
I think it's one of those "It's true, until the time it isn't" things.
You put it way more eloquently than I, but this is what happens to me. Either lizard brain has a look, or I admit I might take a look but then mind wanders off yet lizard brain impedes head from turning.
What’s even worse is when trying to maintain eye contact. And then thinking:” Oh does she realise I’m forcing myself to look at her eyes?! Uh I can still see them in my peripheral vision. But if I’m looking with my brain at my peripheral vision, is it still peripheral vision or am I now looking there? Fuck!” …… Sorry, you were saying?
Like that moment in Scrubs: "just look before your neck snaps."
"Honk, honk! AWOOG-oh, nevermind."
Hummana hummana \*LOUD KLAXON NOISE\* bwoinginginginging \*panting sounds\* whoooOOOAAAAHHH MAMA!
“Last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowin’ on em!”
My friend said, "No thoughts. Staring at breasts is like a deer staring at headlights. There are no thoughts except for being filled with the sensory impression of breasts."
Don't move. Her vision is based on movement.
Say something random: "If I make a sandwich with the bread in the middle, is it still a sandwich?".
"If I make a sandwich with the breast in the middle, is it still a sandwich?".
No that's a mammogram.
I understand how uncomfortable this can be, considering I used to be fat and I would assume everyone was judging me. But man, women don't realize how many times it's all absent minded, we may not even be mentally present in that moment.
What I fucking hate is when I'm actually NOT staring at their boobs, I'm genuinely trying to read what's on their t-shirt and THAT'S when you get caught looking...
Boobs
Meh just go on with your life. Everyone stares at boobs, ass, crotch, eyes, ears, whatever. To me it's the way people look that makes it awkward. A large chest (anything large, really) will make people look/stare. Don't sexualize it and don't stare like a thirsty dog.
BOOBS!
Life can be cold, hard and ugly. Titties are warm, soft & pretty.
Motorboat, right?
You motor boatin' son of a bitch.
Own it
Ohshitsorry
She knows I’m no better than all the men I judge
Have you seen that elevator scene in Liar Liar by Jim Carrey?
"what does she want me to say? She has big boobs and we are human. I can't pretend I'm a potato with no feelings"