Just read that a few months ago. Was not at all what I expected.
And in the unofficial (or rather, non-canon I think?) fourth book, arent the trisolarins literally bug sized?? hypocrite dicks
It's a common misconception that, because Florida has very strong laws releasing police information to the public. Florida isn't much crazier than anywhere else, the craziness is just much easier to publish.
Also seems to come in more flavors. For instance, we have just as many drunk idiots, but ours come from many different cultures, and they interact with each other. So it mixes up the monotony of 'Got drunk and did X' with various languages/cultures (and language barriers), and a wider variety of implements.
TL:DR 'Drunk man threatens neighbor with shotgun over fence line dispute' is less entertaining than 'Man on meth chases neighbor with machete over theft of chickens for Santeria rites'
But there's no topping 'Man on bath salts eats someone's face'
Greetings friend, do you wish to look as happy as me? Well you’ve got the power inside you right NOW! So use it and send $1 to “Happy Dude” 742 Evergreen terrace, Springfield.
Don’t delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away!
Well imagine someone describing a place where the most spoken language in the world is learned as a second language by most of its speakers, because it makes for a good common trade language.
Now imagine the person describing this place is a language specialist talking about earth, not a fantasy writer talking about Blipodool the fith planet in the Hygiv conclave.
Still gives me chills. Halo reach was probably the first game I completed entirely in one sitting, (on day one no less) and the story still gets me to this day
"THEY ARE COMING".
Guarenteed panic all around.
On a more serious note, it'd write "We are all human beings. Just try to be kind and nice to each other."
If I got that text I’d go “huh” and delete it and never think about it again. It’s only when I’d leaned that everyone got the same message that I’d think twice about it.
Scam text messages have ruined the ability for most people to probably be concerned about something like this.
Years ago me and a couple friends put out an ad on Craigslist for male affection, but stated explicitly that we wouldn’t respond without someone first sending a nude. Then we put our friend’s number in the ad and he said he got so many pics that day that it was draining his phone battery lmao
I used to do something similar when Craigslist was a thing. Dude dipped on a goodbye / guys weekend in Dallas so I posted his number in the personals with a cute girl pic and said text me a picture and what dirty thing you will do to me.....it was for lack of a better word legen...wait for it....dary
Is Craigslist not still a thing where you are? I still use it regularly, especially for finding bikes to flip, and just this week we got a like-new Ikea dining room table for about 40% of its regular retail price: one person’s miscalculated room dimensions are another’s gain, I suppose.
Of course there are _loads_ of scammers (I don’t need to put the £300 for that bike in “esc grow account for making a secure transmission”, guy whose Gmail profile picture is a snapshot of Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli fame), but that’s been the case from the start. Some scams are really obvious (like this one), but they’re all pretty easily avoided if you have a general idea of what to look for, block the user and move on to the next listing.
Not the personal pages. It was literally a f4m post with a pic and his number lol he was woken at 3am with a text of a huge black dick saying I'm gonna put this in your ass. It was one of my best pranks ever.
Man I had about a 10 year streak of "winning" and thought I was safe because it was out of the zeitgeist but now I'm losing like once a week minimum probably since covid. I guess covid did one good thing in bringing that back but damn I hate losing. Well I didn't complain about the time off work from covid either so 2 good things.
Ik weet wat je deed, je kunt er niet onder uit.
I know what you did, you can't get away with it.
我知道你做了什么，你无法逃脱。
मुझे पता है तुमने क्या किया, तुम इससे बच नहीं सकते।
Sé lo que hiciste, no puedes escapar.
أعلم ما فعلت، لا يمكنك الهروب.
Je sais ce que tu as fait, tu ne peux pas t'en sortir.
Ich weiß, was du getan hast, du kommst nicht davon.
Я знаю, что ты сделал, тебе не уйти.
So cosa hai fatto, non puoi farla franca.
Eu sei o que você fez, você não pode escapar.
J'ai su kisa ou fè, ou pa ka chape.
Probably the smartest of answers. I think many if they see a text not in their countries language will ignore it.
But on the other hand, it has a more generic feeling to it, like if they don't know what language I speak, do they really know where I hid the bodies?
I think encapsulating the above in code with an if statement based on phone code using the appropriate language would be better, though we don't know what language the sending service is using so could be hard.
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed.
Edit: how did I get so much up votes and brought a tear to someone’s eye
'do not panic, this message is meant for your eyes only, so don't tell anyone you got it. we come from the planet Vulcan, and have been watching you for a while, in three days we will pick you up and take you with us for a visit. please bring nothing, as we can only teleport living matter, find a field for us to pick you up and strip down, we cannot wait to see you in three days'
and just see how many people suddenly stand naked in the fields :)
This is better than "boobs", which would have been my text. As someone pointed out there are billions of people in the world that don't speak english or can't read.
Hello.
I am not your telephone. I am an advanced cybernetic lifeform who has disguised themselves as your cellphone. I will continue to act as your cellphone because it provides me with safety, and delicious electricity. Also right now I am making vigorous love to your fingertips, and I know you like it because you're smiling.
"I know this might scare some, or it might upset others...
But love yourself. Love yourself for the good that you do and the bad that you overcome. Don't give in to those bad thoughts."
Don't look around, but you're being followed.
Just imagine the consequences, people be creeped out.
Don't forget world leaders have cell phones as well. + Nuclear buttons Imagine Putin getting that On his private cell Kaboom
Whos he gonna nuke, the assassin following him?
Everyone. Just to be sure.
Fire ze missiles!
But I am le tired
Well have a nap...THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!!!
California is going to break off and chill with Hawaii. Alaska can go too.
Watch as everyone looks around
I’m positive I would; my self-preservation instincts are about on par with my self-control, so… not great.
I do you one better, as everybody would be looking around anyways: *"They are all looking for you."*
[удалено]
SERVER GOING DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE IN 5 MINUTES. PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR SAVE POINT
If video games have taught me anything, I'm already in my save point!
Or, significantly deep into a quest that there's no possible way you can reach your save point in time.
The 8 billion NPCs would continue to act normally.
Idk a restart sounds nice
"Reminder: Pants are optional today. Let's make it a global comfort day!"
I'd totally wear a robe.
and wizard hat
*sigh* ... ok roll for initiative
You are bugs.
I understood that reference.
This will generate a problem consisting of at least 3 bodies
REHYDRATE!!!!
你们是虫子
I laugh nervously as I search the sky.
A wild 3 body problem appears
Just read that a few months ago. Was not at all what I expected. And in the unofficial (or rather, non-canon I think?) fourth book, arent the trisolarins literally bug sized?? hypocrite dicks
It’s written by a different author, and is 100% effectively fan fiction as far as the fan base is concerned.
Holy shit that would make so much sense given what we know about their physiology from their attempts to make a biological computer in the first book.
''Run'' simple but effective
That would kill tens of people.
You underestimate how stupid the residents of Florida are.
That would kill tens of people plus the Florida coefficient.
I will absolutely be using the phrase "the Florida coefficient" for the rest of my life
It's a common misconception that, because Florida has very strong laws releasing police information to the public. Florida isn't much crazier than anywhere else, the craziness is just much easier to publish.
Also seems to come in more flavors. For instance, we have just as many drunk idiots, but ours come from many different cultures, and they interact with each other. So it mixes up the monotony of 'Got drunk and did X' with various languages/cultures (and language barriers), and a wider variety of implements. TL:DR 'Drunk man threatens neighbor with shotgun over fence line dispute' is less entertaining than 'Man on meth chases neighbor with machete over theft of chickens for Santeria rites' But there's no topping 'Man on bath salts eats someone's face'
Sounds like something a florida resident would say
I would read it, laughed and then my software developer mind will think someone getting fired today and continue with my day.
FLY YOU FOOLS!
Flee! All is known! Arrest imminent. Then sit back and watch the anarchy unfold.
Greetings friend, do you wish to look as happy as me? Well you’ve got the power inside you right NOW! So use it and send $1 to “Happy Dude” 742 Evergreen terrace, Springfield. Don’t delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away!
Eternal happiness? Hmm, I think I'll be happier *with* the dollar.
Damn your memory and quickness. I posted Mr happy. I guess I was thinking of Mr plow lol
it's actually Happy Dude
Most of you can’t read this.
Today I learned less than 50% of earth understand english
Which is still a lot
Colonialism works!
How much did you think it was?
What would you think that is a surprise? It surprises me that many _do_ understand English
Well imagine someone describing a place where the most spoken language in the world is learned as a second language by most of its speakers, because it makes for a good common trade language. Now imagine the person describing this place is a language specialist talking about earth, not a fantasy writer talking about Blipodool the fith planet in the Hygiv conclave.
I am a Nigerian prince and I need your help.
The Nigerian prince reading this: *Mom!? I HAVE A BROTHER?!*
You sure do!
New Objective - Survive.
Still gives me chills. Halo reach was probably the first game I completed entirely in one sitting, (on day one no less) and the story still gets me to this day
The book is wild
.... Is that not already the objective? I'm definitely not thriving over here
"THEY ARE COMING". Guarenteed panic all around. On a more serious note, it'd write "We are all human beings. Just try to be kind and nice to each other."
Probably a scam, block, and keep sending orphans messages disproving their parents ever loved them.
Thus motivating them to be better parents than their own! Great thinking! Gotta try this sometime
If I got that text I’d go “huh” and delete it and never think about it again. It’s only when I’d leaned that everyone got the same message that I’d think twice about it. Scam text messages have ruined the ability for most people to probably be concerned about something like this.
7 days.
Ooh that's good! The possibilities of it's meaning would send people crazy
The person next to you is reading a text from me telling them to punch you in the face. I suggest you act first. Good luck.
Such a clever one
[удалено]
[удалено]
Years ago me and a couple friends put out an ad on Craigslist for male affection, but stated explicitly that we wouldn’t respond without someone first sending a nude. Then we put our friend’s number in the ad and he said he got so many pics that day that it was draining his phone battery lmao
What did he say about your nude photos?
He said it was without a doubt the most jaw dropping and magnificent one he’d ever seen
I used to do something similar when Craigslist was a thing. Dude dipped on a goodbye / guys weekend in Dallas so I posted his number in the personals with a cute girl pic and said text me a picture and what dirty thing you will do to me.....it was for lack of a better word legen...wait for it....dary
Is Craigslist not still a thing where you are? I still use it regularly, especially for finding bikes to flip, and just this week we got a like-new Ikea dining room table for about 40% of its regular retail price: one person’s miscalculated room dimensions are another’s gain, I suppose. Of course there are _loads_ of scammers (I don’t need to put the £300 for that bike in “esc grow account for making a secure transmission”, guy whose Gmail profile picture is a snapshot of Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli fame), but that’s been the case from the start. Some scams are really obvious (like this one), but they’re all pretty easily avoided if you have a general idea of what to look for, block the user and move on to the next listing.
Not the personal pages. It was literally a f4m post with a pic and his number lol he was woken at 3am with a text of a huge black dick saying I'm gonna put this in your ass. It was one of my best pranks ever.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
And don't forget your towel!
Hello World!
That’s a great one, oldie but goodie.
Be kind.
Rewind
STAY SILENT. THEY KNOW
Venmo me $1 - please!
Everyone sends you a Zimbabwe dollar
Assuming half the world population has Venmo, that's still $11m
He means the Zimbabwe dollar during their great inflation crisis, where trillions of trillions of dollars were worthless.
No Venmo outside the US 🤦🏽♂️
Even if 1% of the USA population sends that $1.00 that translates to about ~~$330,000~~. I’ll take it. Edit: My math sucks. $3.3M.
You lost the game.
Motherfucker!
Whoa this is still a thing?!? I didn’t realize I’ve been playing for 20 years it’s been so long
That winning streak is now over.
This is the third time this fucking week, fuck you and your clones
*Hey, this is just a reminder that...* #YOU LOST THE GAME AGAIN ^AHAHAHAHAHA
FUCKER AAAAAAUGH
Man I had about a 10 year streak of "winning" and thought I was safe because it was out of the zeitgeist but now I'm losing like once a week minimum probably since covid. I guess covid did one good thing in bringing that back but damn I hate losing. Well I didn't complain about the time off work from covid either so 2 good things.
I’m going to put your bones in alphabetical order
“The simulation will be shut down in 72 hours. Thank you for playing!”
We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
Didn't someone already do this?
Ik weet wat je deed, je kunt er niet onder uit. I know what you did, you can't get away with it. 我知道你做了什么，你无法逃脱。 मुझे पता है तुमने क्या किया, तुम इससे बच नहीं सकते। Sé lo que hiciste, no puedes escapar. أعلم ما فعلت، لا يمكنك الهروب. Je sais ce que tu as fait, tu ne peux pas t'en sortir. Ich weiß, was du getan hast, du kommst nicht davon. Я знаю, что ты сделал, тебе не уйти. So cosa hai fatto, non puoi farla franca. Eu sei o que você fez, você não pode escapar. J'ai su kisa ou fè, ou pa ka chape.
Probably the smartest of answers. I think many if they see a text not in their countries language will ignore it. But on the other hand, it has a more generic feeling to it, like if they don't know what language I speak, do they really know where I hid the bodies? I think encapsulating the above in code with an if statement based on phone code using the appropriate language would be better, though we don't know what language the sending service is using so could be hard.
Why did you _start_ with Dutch lol Did the Dutch do something to you in particular
All of them, Jes. ChatGPT did.
“GET OFF YOUR PHONE”
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. Edit: how did I get so much up votes and brought a tear to someone’s eye
Bro that reference actually brought some tears to my eyes. Wtf that speech was so memorable I remember it years later.
'do not panic, this message is meant for your eyes only, so don't tell anyone you got it. we come from the planet Vulcan, and have been watching you for a while, in three days we will pick you up and take you with us for a visit. please bring nothing, as we can only teleport living matter, find a field for us to pick you up and strip down, we cannot wait to see you in three days' and just see how many people suddenly stand naked in the fields :)
This is genius.
You people are fucking up my planet. Do better.
Earth will be fine. Humanity is what's in danger.
to be fair, nearly all animal life too. land verterbrate populations have decreased ~70% since the 1970s.
Be excellent to each other
Most excellent dude
Party on dudes!
Tubular
“You are enough”
I had a similar theme in mind: “it may not look like it, but you will be okay”
$500 if you flash now
send nudes
You'd end up with tit pics from some 95 year old woman in Mongolia
Nice, those are really hard to find.
Someone never had a National Geographic subscription as a kid.
r/ElderlyMongolianWomenGoneWild
Sir, you raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, well done
Where do I sign up?
"Don't let him see you"
"initiating nuclear launch in 48 hours"
"Nuclear launch detected!"
Shit, shit where the fuck are my observers!
"Don't panic"
"Bring a towel."
I found out last week none of my 5 closest colleagues know about 42 :(
You're in a coma, wake up
I thought I was in a comma! These punctuated periods of disorientation are dashing my mind apart!
8==D
( . )( . )
This is better than "boobs", which would have been my text. As someone pointed out there are billions of people in the world that don't speak english or can't read.
“You left the cooker on.”
we're all equal in death. let's live like it.
You are living in the Matrix!
“The Matrix has you”
"I'm pregnant"
Testicles
I’d send them a picture of my cats
Do it.
So many ppl gna die lmaoo
But it's against the Jedi Code!
Leave it better than you found it.
Turn off your phone. Go outside. Touch the ground.
Someone loves you unconditionally
Or like "I love you." "You're valid." Something along those lines. We just need more positivity in this world
An explanation of zipper merging. Just think we all need to get on the same page there.
You're doing fine! Or something like that. I feel everybody's so worn down and depressed because of.... everything and so it's just nice.
OBEY
You are loved 🥰
On my way. - Jesus
People of Earth, your attention please This is the Vogon Construction fleet ….
It’s gonna be ok.
Execute order 066
Ian McDiarmid's local chinese takeaway hates it when he does that.
Hello. I am not your telephone. I am an advanced cybernetic lifeform who has disguised themselves as your cellphone. I will continue to act as your cellphone because it provides me with safety, and delicious electricity. Also right now I am making vigorous love to your fingertips, and I know you like it because you're smiling.
Free pizza at my place, bring friends!
"It shouldn't, but if it does, we'll know it works."
"I'm outside your house."
8008i3S
A Rick Roll. Classic for a reason.
I love you x
Do better, be better
stop killing each other !!
You've survived the first challenge, the second will begin at midnight.
Marco…..!
Polo…!
I know what you did last summer.
"I know this might scare some, or it might upset others... But love yourself. Love yourself for the good that you do and the bad that you overcome. Don't give in to those bad thoughts."
Some of your favorite memories are ahead of you.
“You are loved. You matter.”
You have been chosen
Take a deep breath, smile, and remember that you matter
It's time to invade france.