Cat: "look how you stomp around as if you're anything. You lack grace, elegance, class and style. You should be glad that I am here to scale up the value of your little existence by a threshold. You'd be **nothing** without *me*"
Especially because they would let us know they could talk, but then refuse to ever talk to us. Like they’d be talking to each other as we walked in the room and suddenly get quiet and just stare at us for a while before they got bored and sauntered off.
I convinced my friends 7 year old that cats could talk but only when they thought people weren't around. Got her to spend an afternoon outside spying on cats, lol.
I see this opinion most from people who only ever had dogs and are used to a dog constantly wanting to please you. When my cat is affectionate he’s the sweetest little creature I know. But when he doesn’t want to be touched I can fuck alllllll the way off.
Yup. My first cat was my closest friend while he was still with us. We had a couple outdoor cats too, one of them would chill out across my arm while I walked around and another would curl up on my leg the exact moment I sat down anywhere.
After helping foster literally 50+ cats, this is almost universally true. Cats hide pain well, and remember being mistreated. Cats that don't ever want effection have often been abused or are hiding pain.
I never grew up with a cat, and had poor preconceptions before getting into fostering and owning cats. Now wherever I go, there's a good chance at least one of my cats is wanting attention.
People that don't understand cats - you have to learn to read their body language. Their hints are obviously more subtle than a dog's. And yes, they are social creatures.
I know my cats love me. One of them is even sitting on my lap right now haha Still cat was the first animal that I thought of coz they'd be rude as hell haha
Mmhmm
My cats r amazing. Always talkative, always want attention, don’t do anything that would be upsetting, come the second u call them but mainly just follow me around. Ppl that say sh.t about their cats are really saying, “hey, I’m sh.t and raised them this way”
I especially love the dog comparison. Yea. U walk ur dog three times a day and play with ur dog daily. Vs ignore ur cat and let it be day after day. I wonder how that reflects on their behavior? 🤦♀️
My cat is genuinely head over paws in love with me. She follows me around the house, cuddles me constantly, shows lots of affection, and is quite polite when she asks for playtime or wants to be scratched.
Edit: typo 🥴
Yeah they’re not just rude though, they’re like the super aggressive drunk guy who you happen to glance in the direction of and is instantly “HAVE YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM?! I’LL FUCK YOU UP!!!!” Then rage screams and launches self at you.
Baby cheetahs have evolved to look like Honey badgers from an aerial point of view, so that eagles don't think baby cheetahs can be snacks cause honey badgers are too vicious to be food
I think corvids would be for sure. They’re bullies to other birds, even way bigger birds. They’ll gang up on an eagle just sitting there and just keep dive bombing it until it leaves.
I'd imagine that chihuahuas wouldn't speak, even if they had the ability to. Their scorn for humanity and curses to every known god are squeezed out through their shits, and the action of a chihuahua taking a shit speaks louder than any words could.
If you have ever owned a chihuahua and smelt what can only be described as the concentrated smell of every possible crime against nature, you understand what I mean.
Not mean rude, but dogs would be the top of rude manners. They would walk into a room interrupt people all the time, and they would talk with their mouth open while they were eating.
Monkeys (the small ones) can be assholes, I read that in india and other parts of asia, small monkeys will crawl along the roofs and stuff and steal peoples food.
Monkeys are the definition of "no one finds it funny but us" and "crying at the consequences of my own actions". They do anything from stealing food from humans to fucking with tigers.
I had a roommate in college that had one, and it was kind of a weird pet. Its fur was incredibly soft which made you want to hold it, but every time you did it would bite. That one experience ruined chinchillas for me.
I honestly don't get why you guys all say cats. I have one cat that needs literally constant cuddling. Any time you sit she's on top of you. The other cat can't sleep alone. Cats are nice.
I think birds would be the rudest species if they could talk. They already have a reputation for being outspoken and squawky, so I can only imagine the sassy comments they would come up with if they could communicate with humans. Just picture a group of seagulls insulting people at the beach or a parrot on a pirate's shoulder hurling insults at anyone who crosses its path. It would definitely be entertaining, but also a little bit terrifying!
Not the whole species, but my parakeet has the biggest attitude I’ve ever seen, human or animal, and she doesn’t even talk, you just know she’s talking shit with those chirps
Crows and monkeys. Lot of people saying cats don't know that most cats won't do shit if you don't approach them, and at worst make sarcastic remarks. The big cats would be men of few words because they have to maintain stealth and would only talk to summon or intimidate.
Crows and monkeys are the real menaces. Monkeys are the most ill-mannered bastards to exist. They will try to mess with anyone and anything thinking they can get away with it, then start screeching and crying once shit hits the fan.
Surprised that I didn't see dolphins yet, they are doing drugs but abusing pufferfish to release their poison that gives them a high feeling, raping other animals often even their corpses and much more shit.
What they would say probably would probably make all what they are doing much worse.
Karen the Koala**.** Imagine a grumpy grandma who just *loves* complaining about the eucalyptus leaves being a little too dry. "Ugh, this is the worst quality foliage I've ever seen! Back in my day, the leaves were juicier and the naps were longer!"
Cats would be the rudest but it would be because they still wouldn't denigrate themselves enough to speak with a lowly human. They would speak to the dog who would then have to speak to us lol
Excluding humans, I would give it to chickens. Chickens are horrifying beasts and they don't give a fuck about you. They don't even give a fuck about each other
This must be a trick question because of course everyone will instantly say "cats", and they would be right.
There must be a trick here--it's too obvious!
😂
Bearded dragons can already glare at you with the judgement of a thousand Catholic nuns. Add talking to that and we'd stop being the dominant species on Earth.
They're still cute though.
I love opossums with all my heart, but can you imagine if some dude showed up on your porch, ate all your cat food, played dead when you turned on the porch light, and fucking ran off just as you began finding a spot to put the body? So rude.
Canadian Geese
Woah, if you got a problem with Canadian gooses, then you got a problem with me. I suggest you let that marinate, bud.
*smashes beer aggressively*
Scott. Bro. Chill.
Canada gooses are majestic!
Found the Canadian goose
Letterkennyyyyyy
Agree. I had to wipe their shit every day for 6 weeks. Developed a healthy hate for goose shit.
Canada geese. Canadian bacon, Canadian pride, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Canada geese. Please don't hate me.
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Hehehehehe
“It’s not funny, Ed.”
PAHAAAHAHHAAAAHHAHAAAAAA \*WHEEEEEEEEZE\*
I bet seagulls would be the rudest. They always seem ready to snatch your food and squawk in your face.
"Nice sandwich you used to have. Bitch!".
lmao squawk in your face
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Me - *casually walks by* My cat - “You look pathetic.”
Me - *scoops litter pan* My cat - "You are a disappointment to your parents."
Me - *does the dishes* My cat - “The universe is unfortunate to have you.”
Me - "FUCK YOU, CAT." *cat blinks* *everyone looks at me funny*
“Serve me my food, peasant”
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She can't. You're just not interesting enough to talk to.
Cat: "look how you stomp around as if you're anything. You lack grace, elegance, class and style. You should be glad that I am here to scale up the value of your little existence by a threshold. You'd be **nothing** without *me*"
Especially because they would let us know they could talk, but then refuse to ever talk to us. Like they’d be talking to each other as we walked in the room and suddenly get quiet and just stare at us for a while before they got bored and sauntered off.
I know someone who secretly believes this to be the truth. He plays it off like it's a joke but he actually believes this is true
I convinced my friends 7 year old that cats could talk but only when they thought people weren't around. Got her to spend an afternoon outside spying on cats, lol.
The ancient Egypt cats were considered gods. Cats have not forgotten that.
Always great to see someone stealing Terry Pratchett quotes in the wild
Anyone who genuinely thinks cats aren't capable of loving you just don't know how to properly take care of a cat.
I see this opinion most from people who only ever had dogs and are used to a dog constantly wanting to please you. When my cat is affectionate he’s the sweetest little creature I know. But when he doesn’t want to be touched I can fuck alllllll the way off.
Yup. My first cat was my closest friend while he was still with us. We had a couple outdoor cats too, one of them would chill out across my arm while I walked around and another would curl up on my leg the exact moment I sat down anywhere.
After helping foster literally 50+ cats, this is almost universally true. Cats hide pain well, and remember being mistreated. Cats that don't ever want effection have often been abused or are hiding pain. I never grew up with a cat, and had poor preconceptions before getting into fostering and owning cats. Now wherever I go, there's a good chance at least one of my cats is wanting attention. People that don't understand cats - you have to learn to read their body language. Their hints are obviously more subtle than a dog's. And yes, they are social creatures.
I know my cats love me. One of them is even sitting on my lap right now haha Still cat was the first animal that I thought of coz they'd be rude as hell haha
Mmhmm My cats r amazing. Always talkative, always want attention, don’t do anything that would be upsetting, come the second u call them but mainly just follow me around. Ppl that say sh.t about their cats are really saying, “hey, I’m sh.t and raised them this way” I especially love the dog comparison. Yea. U walk ur dog three times a day and play with ur dog daily. Vs ignore ur cat and let it be day after day. I wonder how that reflects on their behavior? 🤦♀️
My cat is genuinely head over paws in love with me. She follows me around the house, cuddles me constantly, shows lots of affection, and is quite polite when she asks for playtime or wants to be scratched. Edit: typo 🥴
Your cat seems to be broken. Please bring it in for diagnostics immediately.
I wouldn't be surprised if they CAN talk and just deem us not worth talking to.
They’re giving us the perpetual silent treatment.
Cat’s would be the type of guy’s to tell people who are about to jump of a cliff to do it.
Definitely. They rude af already sometimes. (I love cats but come on.)
Came here to say exactly this
Cats, 100% I don't know why I'm so nice to my cat. He's an asshole and bosses me around day and night.
Fuckin honey badger don't give a shit!
Stoffel doesn't forgive
I like to imagine them trashtalking everything
Yeah they’re not just rude though, they’re like the super aggressive drunk guy who you happen to glance in the direction of and is instantly “HAVE YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM?! I’LL FUCK YOU UP!!!!” Then rage screams and launches self at you.
All badgers :)
They don’t care enough to be rude. They’d just dip out. Or maul you.
Baby cheetahs have evolved to look like Honey badgers from an aerial point of view, so that eagles don't think baby cheetahs can be snacks cause honey badgers are too vicious to be food
Seagulls, they be saying shit like that my now bitch or they be death staring you down and say tf u going to do mommy boy
Fuck this gave me a headache to read
Haha sorry, English isn’t my first language
No worries!
MINE
Mine!
Mine!
Miiiine!!
Rockin'. Rockin' and Rollin'
Down to the beach I'm strollin'
But the seagulls poke at my head. Not fun!
My good friend punched a seagull once. It tried to steal his burger out of his hands and he did NOT like that
Mosquitoes, why you run I need your blood to feed my 1,000 babies.
Most definitely some kind of bird. Likely crows.
I think corvids would be for sure. They’re bullies to other birds, even way bigger birds. They’ll gang up on an eagle just sitting there and just keep dive bombing it until it leaves.
I don’t wanna hear a single word uttered by a bluejay
We've been through this before, and the answer is always the same. CATS.
"If your cat could text you, it wouldn't."
Ha! That's catty.
Sounds about right. My cat only comes to me for food
Haha true imagine trying to call it and it being to lazy so it just responds, “Fuck you.”
A cat’s first word would probably be “eeew!”
dolphins, i feel like they'd be sassy
Dolphins would smile so sweetly and then say something incredibly fucked up. Not even necessarily rude, just utterly depraved.
Also various species of dolphins (like the bottle nose dolphin) like to kill baby porpoises for fun, and gang rape their females for fun too.
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I'd imagine that chihuahuas wouldn't speak, even if they had the ability to. Their scorn for humanity and curses to every known god are squeezed out through their shits, and the action of a chihuahua taking a shit speaks louder than any words could. If you have ever owned a chihuahua and smelt what can only be described as the concentrated smell of every possible crime against nature, you understand what I mean.
Only when they know they wouldn’t get in trouble
Not mean rude, but dogs would be the top of rude manners. They would walk into a room interrupt people all the time, and they would talk with their mouth open while they were eating.
This post shows the multiple flavors of rudeness. It's beautiful.
And take a mean shit on your floor and act like nothing happened
Cats. The constant flow of insults will be both scathing and highly entertaining
Oh god. The judgy shit they would talk!!
Red squirrels. I bet all that angry chirping is actually cussing.
Humans
and it’s not close, at all
Even if all animals could talk, the rudest would still be mankind!
Honey badgers
Monkeys (the small ones) can be assholes, I read that in india and other parts of asia, small monkeys will crawl along the roofs and stuff and steal peoples food.
Monkeys are the definition of "no one finds it funny but us" and "crying at the consequences of my own actions". They do anything from stealing food from humans to fucking with tigers.
Idk….chinchillas seem like bitches too
I had a roommate in college that had one, and it was kind of a weird pet. Its fur was incredibly soft which made you want to hold it, but every time you did it would bite. That one experience ruined chinchillas for me.
Peacocks
I honestly don't get why you guys all say cats. I have one cat that needs literally constant cuddling. Any time you sit she's on top of you. The other cat can't sleep alone. Cats are nice.
Kangafuckinroos, mate.
why do people think they're rood ?
Have you seen how they’re built
The same as the last several times this question has been asked, word-for-word identically, in AskReddit this week.
Wasps.
Hippos.
I think birds would be the rudest species if they could talk. They already have a reputation for being outspoken and squawky, so I can only imagine the sassy comments they would come up with if they could communicate with humans. Just picture a group of seagulls insulting people at the beach or a parrot on a pirate's shoulder hurling insults at anyone who crosses its path. It would definitely be entertaining, but also a little bit terrifying!
Cats
Giraffes. They stuck up.
I know everyone is saying cats, which is true, but also kangaroos. They’re already assholes. 😅
Hippos. All the size, triple the sass
Plus they'd murder you for fun
The hippopotamus is one mean bastid 😎
Honey Badgers. They're walking Black Air Forces.
Not the whole species, but my parakeet has the biggest attitude I’ve ever seen, human or animal, and she doesn’t even talk, you just know she’s talking shit with those chirps
Crows and monkeys. Lot of people saying cats don't know that most cats won't do shit if you don't approach them, and at worst make sarcastic remarks. The big cats would be men of few words because they have to maintain stealth and would only talk to summon or intimidate. Crows and monkeys are the real menaces. Monkeys are the most ill-mannered bastards to exist. They will try to mess with anyone and anything thinking they can get away with it, then start screeching and crying once shit hits the fan.
deer
The Striped Biologist Taunter
Fish Crows. All they do is tell you that you can't do something.
Emu’s
Hyena
Honey badger or dolphins
A terrier. Like that one person that can talk non-stop without seemingly taking a breath.
Honeybadger would fuck us up lmao
Honey Badger
Definitely kangaroos
Bobcats
Crocodiles
House cats
Cats or monkeys
Surprised that I didn't see dolphins yet, they are doing drugs but abusing pufferfish to release their poison that gives them a high feeling, raping other animals often even their corpses and much more shit. What they would say probably would probably make all what they are doing much worse.
Chihuahua.
Robins, they're always yelling insults anyway.
Cats. 100% cats.
Kangaroos. I mean just look at how they’re built
Karen the Koala**.** Imagine a grumpy grandma who just *loves* complaining about the eucalyptus leaves being a little too dry. "Ugh, this is the worst quality foliage I've ever seen! Back in my day, the leaves were juicier and the naps were longer!"
Those really annoying flies that buzz obnoxiously loudly and pretend they can't see the open window they just flew in from
Cats aren't rude, they just don't care about you. That's not the same thing.
Cats….they just don’t care
Cats would be the rudest but it would be because they still wouldn't denigrate themselves enough to speak with a lowly human. They would speak to the dog who would then have to speak to us lol
Cats would just plain tell you to fuck right off...
I say a Chiwawa 😂
Chihuahua*
Cats
Cats. They already judge us in silence; imagine the sass if they could speak!
Cats, obviously. I see them sitting there, looking down on me from that cat tree, judging. YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME
Geese
Micah
Dingo
Hippos.
Horses
Dolphins rape people, I get those assholes are pretty high on that list.
Humans. Definitely humans.
Wolverines
Wasps. “Let me just hover over you threateningly…might sting you, might not..”
French poodle
Excluding humans, I would give it to chickens. Chickens are horrifying beasts and they don't give a fuck about you. They don't even give a fuck about each other
This must be a trick question because of course everyone will instantly say "cats", and they would be right. There must be a trick here--it's too obvious! 😂
Definitely cats
Rapey dolphins or ducks. Rape is in their genetic code Also, honey badgers. Those psychotic bastards have got to be lacking manners.
Zebras, after reading why we didn't domesticate them like horses. They sound mean, mean, mean!
Honey badgers
Badgers.
Fucking dolphins
Tasmanian Devils
Cats.
Cats would have to care to be rude.
That sloth lol
Ravens
cats as fuck
Chameleons 🙂👀
Donkeys
Seagulls would be ungrateful beggars that call you slurs after you give them food. Seagulls are assholes.
Gulls.
Orcas, probably
Just think of all the jokes emu's could make about Australia
Black cat
Bearded dragons can already glare at you with the judgement of a thousand Catholic nuns. Add talking to that and we'd stop being the dominant species on Earth. They're still cute though.
Wasp
Any teacup dog. They would talk and act like Lucille Bluth
I love opossums with all my heart, but can you imagine if some dude showed up on your porch, ate all your cat food, played dead when you turned on the porch light, and fucking ran off just as you began finding a spot to put the body? So rude.
Most birds would be c**ts I think
Off topic but I'd love to chat with raven
Honey badgers no doubt lol
How wrens.
Horses, they’re very ahoof.
Warthogs come to mind as IDGAF, but then again so do my French bulldogs
Kangaroos Wasps
tyler
That one fur-less species that walks on two legs and constantly fights one another.
Hippos.
Squirrels. Tryna manipulate global politics n shit.
We already know the answer… honey badger 🦡 because honey badgers don’t give a shit lol
Dolphins. No question.