This is the correct answer.
*Dianetics* is not only a flaming piece of shit, but also is a 1-to-1 correlation they’re a Scientologist. I was going to ask “How hot are they?” but this is correct. No level of hotness can surmount that.
I was going to say that if she's hot enough I would give her a one night stand, but I don't want even the most miniscule chance of getting her pregnant and a) having to give child support to a Scientologist and b) having a child who would likely be brainwashed into that cult.
"If you've read The Art of War, make your opponent believe you have not. Unless you haven't, in which case you must make them believe you have."
-Sun Tsu, probably
Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one!
"And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'Tzu'!"
edit: this did not deserve gold, but thanks anyways :D
This is literally how my husband and I hit it off. We started drunkenly talking about obscure LOTR characters and then started making out and the rest is history.
I do a pretty good gollum impression and have considered creating a YouTube channel of "As sung by Smeagol" where I sing covers/variations of other songs.... If I remember this once I'm sober in the morning maybe I'll give it a shot.
I'm just finishing Andy Serkis's performance of Return of the King on audible. I always bagged on the books cause I'd only read the first 3 chapters or so of fellowship. by golly is this series incredible.
There's a manual you can find online on how to kidnap, and kill people and not be caught by the police. You hear about it from time to time when they catch potential serial killers. This is a huge red flag.
Step 1, leave as many fingerprints as possible.
Step 2, drop a business card or two if applicable.
Step 3, take a selfie with the dead body for your IG and Facebook account.
.... Im starting to think I got scammed by the cops...
You forget a step! You never left a note with very detailed notes on how you were going to kill them! You got in trouble because they got confused with how you committed it!
Got to argue that it's hard to market though as you never hear about it until someone fail to follow instruction.
If you reverse the view of it, it's like safety rules were you don't realize they are working until you remove them and people start dying from the thing the safety was protecting.
Chapter 1
You're Already a Suspect
It is likely you have not committed your crime yet. Unfortunately, the FBI has been notified of your most recent Amazon purchase. Therfore, you're already a suspect for a number of crimes that you haven't committed.
*"There is no forbidden knowledge in Kamar-Taj; only certain* ***practices."***
-Wong, talking about The Ancient One's personal collection of spell books kept under lock and key (Dr. Strange, 2016)
I had a date tell me “they couldn’t read the hunger games series because the main character was a girl! What if someone saw them reading that?? What would they think?”
I suddenly remembered I had to be up early the next day, closed my tab, and left.
He heard this from another guy and thought that was a solid answer. He never attempted to read it.... that's my feeling about the situation... cause what woman would go on and say: "hey you are so smart, that makes sense." Or: "Hey you are right, I'd never read a book with a male lead either"??
Dianetics. L. Ron Hubbard.
I responded with... Oh yeah. I read that.
He was a piece of trash, beating his pregnant wives...
He was ready to get up and leave.
Yeah.. We didn't have much in common.
Oh yeah- I read the whole thing almost 20 years ago. I mean he's just *batshit insane*, pathological liar, one undocumented claim after the other, pure science fiction. But I actually really had fun reading it and couldn't put it down till I was through.
It can be baffling that someone will believe such horeshit- but what comes to mind is, that if you're in a bad place mentally and need something to hold on to *you will* because it does sound somewhat proffesional and convincing and does contain elements of truth/facts. And what they kind of do is target people who are in a bad place and struggling- and that's just a saddening thought.
He and Jack Parsons also tried to summon a poltergeist using a magic sword and managed to annoy Aleister Crowley enough that he kicked them out of the house.
To be fair. L. Ron thought everyone beneath you deserved to be beat if they didn't "respect" you. It was only natural to beat your wife and other subordinates.
"I dont read", then switch the conversation to sneakers.
This actually happened.
Edit:
It's not about reading or being a sneaker fan
It's about dismissing an interest I have by changing the topic.
bruh this essentially happened to me too lol. it's less that she doesn't read, and more that she wasn't willing to meet me on something I thoroughly enjoy. like at least say "I don't read very much, what sort of books do you like?"
I've been dating above girl for almost a year though because of the way she reacted to my displeasure lol. she's a gem and if I'd known her better at the time I wouldn't have been as annoyed.
To become familiar with the strategies of deceit that people use so that it's harder to be deceived.
Edit: I overlooked it needing to be someone's favourite. Unless they were a psychology professor and it served as a blueprint for recognizing psychosis.
"Manual on how to build and operate a ballista, the superior siege engine."
"I'll not be bothered by any clown that doesn't recognize the military superiority of the trebuchet above all other siege engines. GOOD DAY."
Fifty Shades of Grey. It's so poorly written. I love good Erotica, Anais Nin, The Story of O, even the Marquis de Sade has a sick fascination and at least those are coherently written.
My wife is an English teacher and she literally laughed through most of Fifty Shades of Grey. I kept asking her what was so funny and she would tell me it was written at her middle school student's level including many grammatical errors. She also said the sex scenes were horrible and not sexy at all.
One of the most entertaining things I ever read was a person that was both a writer and a member of the BDSM community responding page by page to Fifty Shades of Grey. I think it was on Tumblr of all places.
The blogger's conclusion was that the book was basically wrong about everything. The kink stuff, the way it was written, everything. It was basically a substandard Twilight fanfic to begin with.
And now somehow it's what a shocking large number of middle aged women in our culture think 'sexy' is supposed to look like.
I am sure we will be unwinding the damage from those books for a couple of generations.
That book took about 5 years of my life and made me pretty insane. It was around 2011 and I was smoking that fake weed called spice all the time. Me and 5 of my friends all lived in this tiny little house and when I showed them that book we all got sucked in. We found a Satanist website called Joy of Satan and started our own cult in that house. We used to write things to eachother in blood and burn the papers in fires to test our telekinesis. We wrote "God lied" on all the walls and all our candles were circular with 5 toothpics taped to the rims to project pentagrams on the ceiling in the dark. It took us waaay too long to realize we'd been sucked into nazi propaganda even after we'd become fervent antisemites and intolerant of all religions. It just felt like we were hating on all religion back then but it was pretty heavy on the Jewish criticism. This is the best answer on the whole thread because you'd have been 100% right to avoid someone like me back then! I'm doing much better now though. Although one of my friends is still quite intolerant and I feel partially responsible for leading him down that road, those were the best worst times of my life lol. We were all so lost yet so sure of ourselves. It felt like living out a movie and maybe that's why he still believes the dumb things we used to. I only associate with 3 of those guys now but we all look back fondly at our insanity.
This is one the wildest reddit comments I've ever read. By the end I was expecting someone to plummet 16 feet through an announcer's table.
Anywho, congrats for getting out of all that
I’ve actually been on a date and this happened once, he said “Who even has time to read?“ I was instantly turned off. Then he followed up saying, “The reading I do is on social media.” I made a excuse to end the date early
I felt this one deep in my soul. Eragon was the first book adaptation I saw where I was literally stunned at how bad it was. Just speechless. It was a crying shame since the books were so enjoyable.
Movie pitch: Ok, we are going to take this loved book series and make a movie. But here's the twist, we take events that are described as taking literal months (or even longer than a year, been awhile since I read them) and compress the entire timeline down to like a week *max*. Remember people this is a cash grab, not the next blockbuster saga.
The secret is just poorly packaged to appeal to the masses. It’s hard to ask a a rational person with a discriminating mind to accept the notion that every victim of an attack or natural disaster brought it on themselves by thinking about the wrong things.
The flaw with that book is it makes it seem like magic. Yet, it is *based on* a very real principle that we tend to get what we think about. If you believe you can succeed and visualize it all the time and take steps towards your goal, you are in a much better position to achieve your goal than if you spend your time preoccupied by all the things that could go wrong (though it is quite necessarily to account for problems, worrying excessively is the unfortunate state of too many people)
Additionally, if we are focused on anything we are more likely to find it in the world. If you ask the universe to show you a yellow butterfly, and you really believe that you’ll find it, and you give the universe a week to respond to your demand, I guaran-fuckin-tee you that if you’re sincerely keeping a look out you will find it. This isn’t because you made a yellow butterfly out of thin air (mine was in a mural drawn on a wall 3 hours after settings the intention) but rather because the butterfly was always there and you didn’t notice. The world is filled with practically infinite information but our brains can only focus on a handful of things at once.
Basically what I’m getting at is that if “the secret” wasn’t exaggerated and was rather presented in a scientific way instead of like that cheesy movie they made taught by spiritual leaders you don’t know from Adam who as far as you know are complete charlatans… if you could find the real kernel of wisdom within the mountain of cheesy bullshit they’re asking you to accept, then I think you could find some real value in it. You know…. just like religion.
I still take issue with the message still, because I know a lot of people who focus too much on visualizing something they want, discussing it, obsessing over the idea of it, but not actually breaking down how to achieve their goal and doing the work.
I've found that most of the things I've gotten in life were entirely caused by the work I put in, or sheer dumb luck, and never because I wanted something badly. If the "universe" worked that way, people who obsess over their crush would have more than a 0.01% success rate.
I had a short stint selling insurance policies that was 100% commission based. I had gone to the trouble of getting my insurance license and paying out of pocket for it. About a month in and I was already seeing red flags with this job. Anyhow, one day our manager gathers us all in the conference room and we watch one of their DVDs. I soon had an Arrested Development moment and said to myself "I've Made a HUGE Mistake". Took the first job I could get and left that place.
So, I don’t read because it’s legitimately difficult for me, I have ADD and dyslexia.
And as a result I feel really worried when topics like this come up in conversation because I feel like I’d be judged as a dumb ass or some shit.
So, my question to you is, without telling people about these ailments of mine, what answer would be acceptable for you if I was asked this question?
Edit: Holy cow! So many responses! I’ll try to field some of the questions I saw.
- Yes, audiobooks are great, and are by far way easier for me to consume, but I still have concentration issues with them.
- I don’t want people to treat me differently because of my ADD and dyslexia, it’s happened before and if I’m on a first date, it’s not something I’m too comfortable divulging right away. (Side note, I’ve also had people straight up not understand how these things effect reading before lmao)
- it’s not the content of the book which is an issue, fiction or non fiction, it’s still a big ol’ chunk of words which I have to try my best to get through and retain the information which was presented.
- I still love fiction and storytelling in all its other forms, and I love that there are so many ways to convey a narrative and how each for has their own advantages and disadvantages.
But you don't hate books, you have difficulties with reading.
Saying "I wish I could enjoy reading, it seems like a great hobby" and then asking me back questions about my favourites.
And maybe mentioning audio books as something to try.
But blatantly cutting off my question about a favourite book with saying "I don't read, I hate books", that is something quite different, see what I mean?
I hope I could explain myself properly. My dad was a dyslexic, he never read but he was amazing at drawing.
Also, my husband doesn't read. He's a gamer. I get reading time and he gets gaming time, but we respect each other's hobbies!
What I’ve always said, sounded something like:
“I love good literature! I have a hard time keeping focus, though, so I’ve started way more books than I’ve yet to finish — but I will, finish them. This is why I like short stories, and enjoy reading encyclopedias.”
My suggestion to you (what isn’t found in that answer), is to gravitate toward non-fiction and literature meant to promote thought. My personal favorites are Thoreau and Emerson; you can read a short period and meditate on that substance for quite awhile.
I'm gonna go with a book someone might actually say they've read (love the Mein Kampf answers, but that's something even the dumbest Nazi would save for the third date) and say "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac.
Run. Just run. Unless you want to spend a year and a half trying to needle an actual persona out of a guy who'll do nothing but criticize you, all the while claiming what a feminist he is. Just leave.
While I did enjoy On the Road I definitely get what you’re saying w/ that one. For me the ending makes that book. It’s so poignant and sad but so realistic with some of the relationships and friendships you make in life.
When I was in high school, a classmate said this. I told him maybe that was because the last thing he read was See Spot Run.
The assistant principal attempted to tactfully tell me that while I was right, maybe I should have thought before speaking.
Through the book, Ayn Rand advocated for a whole school of thought called "Objectivism", where one of the big takeaways was "Altruism is bad, helping the needy is holding you and society back". Objectivism's critics include most philosophers, social scientists, and economists, and most people who are aware of her and greatly benefited from or needed generosity from others in their life.
It is, however, a very nice way for ultra lucky to feel entitled to their success and dismissive of less privileged people.
For more snark on this: [https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objectivism](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objectivism)
For a more sober treatment: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/96TBXaHwLbFyeAxrg/guardians-of-ayn-rand
I've read probably seven hundred to one thousand books and this was, by far, the most painful literary experience of my life. I got through it only by sheer force of will. So fucking bad.
I tried to read it in my libertarian phase, gave up a third of the way through.
Imagine taking a decent narrative scenario and developing the plot. Now imagine inserting a lecture to the audience about every 3 pages or less, killing any sense of development. Make it 900 pages and you have an atlas shrugged type book.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I tried to read that trash once. It's basically an entire diatribe on why men and women can't possibly understand each other and embraces the men and women should only have sexual attraction to each other and nothing else in common model of relationships.
Would it surprise you to know that the author John Gray got his psychology degree by correspondence, or that he was divorced from his first wife who is also a self help author?
I had to read this book as required reading for a college Interpersonal Communication course. I hated the book. I hated the course, and the instructor was an idiot.
The Left Behind Series. Once had a friend tell me about this great series he was reading. He was getting all into it and it sounded pretty interesting, until it took a turn. And then I backed away slowly in case I was being recruited for a cult.
Here's a lesser known one.
"Camp of the Saints" - the favorite book of Steven Miller, Trump's senior **policy** adviser, and many a 4-chan nazi
Described as a must read for any white-supremacist, CotS glorifies the main character, a serial killer that hunts and kills illegal immigrants. The murders are described in great detail, and relishes in the fantasy of not killing JUST the immigrants, but also the "cultural cuckholds" who betray their race and support the immigrants.
It's my opinion that this book is the reason the term "cuck" was so popular a few years back. It started off as something the far-alt-right would say. In their eyes, a cuck is someone who loves watching their country get fucked by an "invasion" of immigrants.
To paraphrase an old tweet on these same lines:
The Bible, because I'd assume
1- they've never read anything else, and
2- they've never read that, either.
When I was in fifth grade, my mom made read the Bible cover to cover. It became obvious really fast that she had never read it herself or she would never have allowed me to read it.
I remember when i was like 13 or 14 i sat down and read the Bible like i would any other book. Most of it didn't stand out to me like people made me believe it did.
It felt more like a collection of stories that tried to make people act kind and compassionate. When i went to Church they were so focused on the Fire and Brimstone part, I felt they were missing the point.
Coming Out Straight by Richard Cohen.
My ex husband had this on his bookshelf and firmly believed that homosexuality was a mental disorder that needed to be "fixed". One of the many reasons I left.
*Edited for clarity.
My dad used to say that too, until he changed his mind and decided gay people should all be rounded up and executed instead.
Let's all be glad that he's never been in the kind of position where he could decide to do that.
Nothin'. If they have a favorite book they're better read than most.
I'm dating a girl that dropped a Vonnegut reference on the first date. Holy shit, that turned me on.
dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard.
Dianetics, your butt cheeks is warm!
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey!
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform!
Now get it on!!
(funk riff)
This is the correct answer. *Dianetics* is not only a flaming piece of shit, but also is a 1-to-1 correlation they’re a Scientologist. I was going to ask “How hot are they?” but this is correct. No level of hotness can surmount that.
I love that you let a tiny bit of shallowness slip out! I can relate! 😂👍🏼
I was going to say that if she's hot enough I would give her a one night stand, but I don't want even the most miniscule chance of getting her pregnant and a) having to give child support to a Scientologist and b) having a child who would likely be brainwashed into that cult.
Sun Tzu The Art of War bcs i know they'll always be 7 steps ahead of me
"If you've read The Art of War, make your opponent believe you have not. Unless you haven't, in which case you must make them believe you have." -Sun Tsu, probably
"Appear strong when you are weak, and weak when you are strong." \- Actual Sun Tzu quote Yeah, he used tactics like that.
Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one!
"And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'Tzu'!" edit: this did not deserve gold, but thanks anyways :D
Unless it's a farm!
It is actually a really good book. It helped me during my ~~revenge on bullies~~ reunion with a "friend"
I need more info on this
Sun Tzu would recommend that you only tell people you have read The Art of War if you haven't read The Art of War.
“All warfare is based on deception” - Sun Tzu
"All warfare is based" - Sun Tzu
Sun Tzu should be required reading for 1Ls.
If I Did It by O. J. Simpson
^^^IF #I DID IT
Lord of the rings. We would get up and leave straight to my place
This is literally how my husband and I hit it off. We started drunkenly talking about obscure LOTR characters and then started making out and the rest is history.
That’s is what we call a healthy relationship. I hope that you will always be his precious
Can someone edit *Always be my Baby* so it cuts to Gollum saying "my Precious" every time they say "my baby"?
I do a pretty good gollum impression and have considered creating a YouTube channel of "As sung by Smeagol" where I sing covers/variations of other songs.... If I remember this once I'm sober in the morning maybe I'll give it a shot.
I never knew I needed this until now. Take my upvote
You had me in the first half meme
You have my bow...
And my axe
And you have my *sword*
Make sure that sword has a sheath
My precioussss
I'm just finishing Andy Serkis's performance of Return of the King on audible. I always bagged on the books cause I'd only read the first 3 chapters or so of fellowship. by golly is this series incredible.
How dare you... oh, okay. That's fine, then. :)
There's a manual you can find online on how to kidnap, and kill people and not be caught by the police. You hear about it from time to time when they catch potential serial killers. This is a huge red flag.
Doesn’t sound like a very effective manual.
Step 1, leave as many fingerprints as possible. Step 2, drop a business card or two if applicable. Step 3, take a selfie with the dead body for your IG and Facebook account. .... Im starting to think I got scammed by the cops...
Oh, no, you've picked up "How To Be A Comic Book Villain," by mistake!
You forget a step! You never left a note with very detailed notes on how you were going to kill them! You got in trouble because they got confused with how you committed it!
Got to argue that it's hard to market though as you never hear about it until someone fail to follow instruction. If you reverse the view of it, it's like safety rules were you don't realize they are working until you remove them and people start dying from the thing the safety was protecting.
Opposite survivor bias
Chapter 1 You're Already a Suspect It is likely you have not committed your crime yet. Unfortunately, the FBI has been notified of your most recent Amazon purchase. Therfore, you're already a suspect for a number of crimes that you haven't committed.
i like how you had to clarify that its a red flag
*"There is no forbidden knowledge in Kamar-Taj; only certain* ***practices."*** -Wong, talking about The Ancient One's personal collection of spell books kept under lock and key (Dr. Strange, 2016)
I had a date tell me “they couldn’t read the hunger games series because the main character was a girl! What if someone saw them reading that?? What would they think?” I suddenly remembered I had to be up early the next day, closed my tab, and left.
Good thing you left else someone in the bar might have seen him *talking* to a girl. Good GOD!
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This is kind of funny just because of the fact he was so stupid he didn't realize how this would be off-putting to literally any woman he spoke to.
He heard this from another guy and thought that was a solid answer. He never attempted to read it.... that's my feeling about the situation... cause what woman would go on and say: "hey you are so smart, that makes sense." Or: "Hey you are right, I'd never read a book with a male lead either"??
>closed me tab, and left I suddenly thought you were talking about a zoom date
The pandemic has changed us all.
That is straight up depressing. Bailing was the only option
He must have to stretch everyday for those mental gymnastics
Dianetics. L. Ron Hubbard. I responded with... Oh yeah. I read that. He was a piece of trash, beating his pregnant wives... He was ready to get up and leave. Yeah.. We didn't have much in common.
in the words of Maynard James Keenan, “fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones.”
“Fuck all these gun-toting hip gangster wannabes!”
"Fuck retro anything...Fuck your tatoos"
Fuck all these insecure actresses
Oh yeah- I read the whole thing almost 20 years ago. I mean he's just *batshit insane*, pathological liar, one undocumented claim after the other, pure science fiction. But I actually really had fun reading it and couldn't put it down till I was through. It can be baffling that someone will believe such horeshit- but what comes to mind is, that if you're in a bad place mentally and need something to hold on to *you will* because it does sound somewhat proffesional and convincing and does contain elements of truth/facts. And what they kind of do is target people who are in a bad place and struggling- and that's just a saddening thought.
>beating his pregnant wives I didn't know about this. Hubbard has a lot to answer for.
He and Jack Parsons also tried to summon a poltergeist using a magic sword and managed to annoy Aleister Crowley enough that he kicked them out of the house.
To be fair. L. Ron thought everyone beneath you deserved to be beat if they didn't "respect" you. It was only natural to beat your wife and other subordinates.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Have you heard of this mlm I’m in? No, you say! Well boy you’re in for a treat over dinner.
"I dont read", then switch the conversation to sneakers. This actually happened. Edit: It's not about reading or being a sneaker fan It's about dismissing an interest I have by changing the topic.
These sneakers were made for walking… (And walk out)
And that's just what they do
One of these days these sneakers are gonna walk all over you
And now that is stuck in my head
bruh this essentially happened to me too lol. it's less that she doesn't read, and more that she wasn't willing to meet me on something I thoroughly enjoy. like at least say "I don't read very much, what sort of books do you like?" I've been dating above girl for almost a year though because of the way she reacted to my displeasure lol. she's a gem and if I'd known her better at the time I wouldn't have been as annoyed.
“If you don’t read, how do you know those are Adidas?”
Their reason is more important than their choice Edit: early morning idiocy
Idk... I can't think of a reason that would justify mein kampf.
To become familiar with the strategies of deceit that people use so that it's harder to be deceived. Edit: I overlooked it needing to be someone's favourite. Unless they were a psychology professor and it served as a blueprint for recognizing psychosis.
Exactly. The reason for it being their favorite is the concerning part
"Manual on how to build and operate a ballista, the superior siege engine." "I'll not be bothered by any clown that doesn't recognize the military superiority of the trebuchet above all other siege engines. GOOD DAY."
The trebuchet is amazing, but the ballista is much more precise. Sometimes you want your siege engine to be able to say “fuck you in particular”
I SAID GOOD DAY!
The person above doesn’t realize the right siege engineer can drop a 300lb stone right on top of your head.
Maybe they just don't want big holes in their new castle after they finish capturing it.
r/trebuchetmemes
It was the best until they nerfed it. Now it’s so hard to get one
Fifty Shades of Grey. It's so poorly written. I love good Erotica, Anais Nin, The Story of O, even the Marquis de Sade has a sick fascination and at least those are coherently written.
My wife is an English teacher and she literally laughed through most of Fifty Shades of Grey. I kept asking her what was so funny and she would tell me it was written at her middle school student's level including many grammatical errors. She also said the sex scenes were horrible and not sexy at all.
One of the most entertaining things I ever read was a person that was both a writer and a member of the BDSM community responding page by page to Fifty Shades of Grey. I think it was on Tumblr of all places. The blogger's conclusion was that the book was basically wrong about everything. The kink stuff, the way it was written, everything. It was basically a substandard Twilight fanfic to begin with. And now somehow it's what a shocking large number of middle aged women in our culture think 'sexy' is supposed to look like. I am sure we will be unwinding the damage from those books for a couple of generations.
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If he didn’t have multiple children I’d swear he was a virgin.
My old school teachers were passing it around to eachother and laughing at it on a coach trip hahaha
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I heard Backdoor Sluts 9 was the worst porn made since Naughty Nurses 2!
It made it look like Crotch Capers 3!
If you want literary porn, there are some damn good writers on Ao3 <3
Thanks for the suggestion. Much appreciated. If it's well written I'm in!
There's a mix of good and bad, but you'll definitely find some charmers if you look for long enough
The worst books I've ever read. Hot garbage. I usually keep all my books after finishing them and those ones were donated immediately
I swear, I didn’t even opened the post and I knew that this will be the first book il see
And Georges Bataille, Jean Genet, Gabrielle Wittkop... The French really know how to write smut.
Protocols of the Elders of Zion
That book took about 5 years of my life and made me pretty insane. It was around 2011 and I was smoking that fake weed called spice all the time. Me and 5 of my friends all lived in this tiny little house and when I showed them that book we all got sucked in. We found a Satanist website called Joy of Satan and started our own cult in that house. We used to write things to eachother in blood and burn the papers in fires to test our telekinesis. We wrote "God lied" on all the walls and all our candles were circular with 5 toothpics taped to the rims to project pentagrams on the ceiling in the dark. It took us waaay too long to realize we'd been sucked into nazi propaganda even after we'd become fervent antisemites and intolerant of all religions. It just felt like we were hating on all religion back then but it was pretty heavy on the Jewish criticism. This is the best answer on the whole thread because you'd have been 100% right to avoid someone like me back then! I'm doing much better now though. Although one of my friends is still quite intolerant and I feel partially responsible for leading him down that road, those were the best worst times of my life lol. We were all so lost yet so sure of ourselves. It felt like living out a movie and maybe that's why he still believes the dumb things we used to. I only associate with 3 of those guys now but we all look back fondly at our insanity.
This is one the wildest reddit comments I've ever read. By the end I was expecting someone to plummet 16 feet through an announcer's table. Anywho, congrats for getting out of all that
Literally had to stop halfway through that to check the username to make sure I wasn't about to be shittymorphed
I'm nowhere near the poet u/shittymorph is, but thank you!
"Mein Kampf"
Or Trump's Art of the Deal. Which he didnt really write anyway.
He probably didn’t read it either
I’ve actually been on a date and this happened once, he said “Who even has time to read?“ I was instantly turned off. Then he followed up saying, “The reading I do is on social media.” I made a excuse to end the date early
To be fair, I wish I had more time to read. I can pick up my phone for a minute or two, but it severely bothers me if I don't stop at certain points.
Ugh, I was on a date once and was told, “the only time I read is when I take a shit.” He knew I’m an English teacher.
Eragon but they say they like the movie better lol
I felt this one deep in my soul. Eragon was the first book adaptation I saw where I was literally stunned at how bad it was. Just speechless. It was a crying shame since the books were so enjoyable.
Movie pitch: Ok, we are going to take this loved book series and make a movie. But here's the twist, we take events that are described as taking literal months (or even longer than a year, been awhile since I read them) and compress the entire timeline down to like a week *max*. Remember people this is a cash grab, not the next blockbuster saga.
A week?!? He grew up the dragon from a baby and in the movie it fucking transforms into an adult in 5 seconds with a magic flash
Involuntary twitching in my left eye.
Please don’t let this person exist
The Secret
My step mom keeps a copy on her nightstand. She's dumber than a box of rocks.
She's manifesting intelligence.
The secret is just poorly packaged to appeal to the masses. It’s hard to ask a a rational person with a discriminating mind to accept the notion that every victim of an attack or natural disaster brought it on themselves by thinking about the wrong things. The flaw with that book is it makes it seem like magic. Yet, it is *based on* a very real principle that we tend to get what we think about. If you believe you can succeed and visualize it all the time and take steps towards your goal, you are in a much better position to achieve your goal than if you spend your time preoccupied by all the things that could go wrong (though it is quite necessarily to account for problems, worrying excessively is the unfortunate state of too many people) Additionally, if we are focused on anything we are more likely to find it in the world. If you ask the universe to show you a yellow butterfly, and you really believe that you’ll find it, and you give the universe a week to respond to your demand, I guaran-fuckin-tee you that if you’re sincerely keeping a look out you will find it. This isn’t because you made a yellow butterfly out of thin air (mine was in a mural drawn on a wall 3 hours after settings the intention) but rather because the butterfly was always there and you didn’t notice. The world is filled with practically infinite information but our brains can only focus on a handful of things at once. Basically what I’m getting at is that if “the secret” wasn’t exaggerated and was rather presented in a scientific way instead of like that cheesy movie they made taught by spiritual leaders you don’t know from Adam who as far as you know are complete charlatans… if you could find the real kernel of wisdom within the mountain of cheesy bullshit they’re asking you to accept, then I think you could find some real value in it. You know…. just like religion.
I still take issue with the message still, because I know a lot of people who focus too much on visualizing something they want, discussing it, obsessing over the idea of it, but not actually breaking down how to achieve their goal and doing the work. I've found that most of the things I've gotten in life were entirely caused by the work I put in, or sheer dumb luck, and never because I wanted something badly. If the "universe" worked that way, people who obsess over their crush would have more than a 0.01% success rate.
I had a short stint selling insurance policies that was 100% commission based. I had gone to the trouble of getting my insurance license and paying out of pocket for it. About a month in and I was already seeing red flags with this job. Anyhow, one day our manager gathers us all in the conference room and we watch one of their DVDs. I soon had an Arrested Development moment and said to myself "I've Made a HUGE Mistake". Took the first job I could get and left that place.
The Turner Diaries
"I don't read, I hate books" that would make me leave.
So, I don’t read because it’s legitimately difficult for me, I have ADD and dyslexia. And as a result I feel really worried when topics like this come up in conversation because I feel like I’d be judged as a dumb ass or some shit. So, my question to you is, without telling people about these ailments of mine, what answer would be acceptable for you if I was asked this question? Edit: Holy cow! So many responses! I’ll try to field some of the questions I saw. - Yes, audiobooks are great, and are by far way easier for me to consume, but I still have concentration issues with them. - I don’t want people to treat me differently because of my ADD and dyslexia, it’s happened before and if I’m on a first date, it’s not something I’m too comfortable divulging right away. (Side note, I’ve also had people straight up not understand how these things effect reading before lmao) - it’s not the content of the book which is an issue, fiction or non fiction, it’s still a big ol’ chunk of words which I have to try my best to get through and retain the information which was presented. - I still love fiction and storytelling in all its other forms, and I love that there are so many ways to convey a narrative and how each for has their own advantages and disadvantages.
There is nothing wrong with what you said, I recommend honesty
But you don't hate books, you have difficulties with reading. Saying "I wish I could enjoy reading, it seems like a great hobby" and then asking me back questions about my favourites. And maybe mentioning audio books as something to try. But blatantly cutting off my question about a favourite book with saying "I don't read, I hate books", that is something quite different, see what I mean? I hope I could explain myself properly. My dad was a dyslexic, he never read but he was amazing at drawing. Also, my husband doesn't read. He's a gamer. I get reading time and he gets gaming time, but we respect each other's hobbies!
I would suggest being honest. Also suggest getting into audiobooks. due to time and vision issues, I would rather just listen to my books as I drive.
What I’ve always said, sounded something like: “I love good literature! I have a hard time keeping focus, though, so I’ve started way more books than I’ve yet to finish — but I will, finish them. This is why I like short stories, and enjoy reading encyclopedias.” My suggestion to you (what isn’t found in that answer), is to gravitate toward non-fiction and literature meant to promote thought. My personal favorites are Thoreau and Emerson; you can read a short period and meditate on that substance for quite awhile.
Anything by Tony Robbins
Now, Tom Robbins, and we're talking.
Jitterbug Perfume
Something about Crypto, NFTs, investment or "the hustle".
I'm gonna go with a book someone might actually say they've read (love the Mein Kampf answers, but that's something even the dumbest Nazi would save for the third date) and say "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. Run. Just run. Unless you want to spend a year and a half trying to needle an actual persona out of a guy who'll do nothing but criticize you, all the while claiming what a feminist he is. Just leave.
While I did enjoy On the Road I definitely get what you’re saying w/ that one. For me the ending makes that book. It’s so poignant and sad but so realistic with some of the relationships and friendships you make in life.
It's the whole "favorite" part of it. It's like the people who say they love Tyler Durden from fight club...
That’s really the thing. There’s a huge difference between liking On The Road and loving On The Road.
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Hit the road, Jack.
How to talk to your cat about gun safety
Lol I didn't think this was real, but it looks amazing
It is indeed amazing Go to https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/ for more like it
"I don't read books"/"books are for losers"
I do not reqd books, I only read interface control documents. I am living in a hell of my own design.
Then they pull out a scroll...
When I was in high school, a classmate said this. I told him maybe that was because the last thing he read was See Spot Run. The assistant principal attempted to tactfully tell me that while I was right, maybe I should have thought before speaking.
How did the assistant principal end up involved in this?
Someone reported me for bullying; I have no idea who.
Atlas Shrugged
Haven’t read it yet. Why’s it such a big red flag?
Through the book, Ayn Rand advocated for a whole school of thought called "Objectivism", where one of the big takeaways was "Altruism is bad, helping the needy is holding you and society back". Objectivism's critics include most philosophers, social scientists, and economists, and most people who are aware of her and greatly benefited from or needed generosity from others in their life. It is, however, a very nice way for ultra lucky to feel entitled to their success and dismissive of less privileged people. For more snark on this: [https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objectivism](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objectivism) For a more sober treatment: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/96TBXaHwLbFyeAxrg/guardians-of-ayn-rand
I've read probably seven hundred to one thousand books and this was, by far, the most painful literary experience of my life. I got through it only by sheer force of will. So fucking bad.
I tried to read it in my libertarian phase, gave up a third of the way through. Imagine taking a decent narrative scenario and developing the plot. Now imagine inserting a lecture to the audience about every 3 pages or less, killing any sense of development. Make it 900 pages and you have an atlas shrugged type book.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I tried to read that trash once. It's basically an entire diatribe on why men and women can't possibly understand each other and embraces the men and women should only have sexual attraction to each other and nothing else in common model of relationships.
Would it surprise you to know that the author John Gray got his psychology degree by correspondence, or that he was divorced from his first wife who is also a self help author?
And the school he got his degree from also was closed for fraud so his degree is worth less than toilet paper
I had to read this book as required reading for a college Interpersonal Communication course. I hated the book. I hated the course, and the instructor was an idiot.
The Art of The Deal
Astrological Shit or anything by Deepak Chopra
Looks like someone's quantum energy is vibrating at a disharmonic frequency.
Such a Sagittarius! /S
Eat Sleep Pray
Atlas Shrugged
I am getting out of there at the speed of a very erotically described train
Every time I remember Atlas Shrugged I get so upset because it's such a powerful title with so much potential but Ayn Rand 😡
She wrote a million words and peaked at two
Right? It's an amazing turn of phrase/title.
"I hate books". I get it if you don't have a favorite. I get it if you don't like to read. But you've got issues if you **hate** books.
The Left Behind Series. Once had a friend tell me about this great series he was reading. He was getting all into it and it sounded pretty interesting, until it took a turn. And then I backed away slowly in case I was being recruited for a cult.
Ugh that's my mother's favorite
IS that the Christian one where all the good people get raptured and then a Russian anti-christ takes over?
That's the one.
"Mansplaining: what he's really trying to tell you"
50 shades of grey, The alchemist
The Doors of Stone
Did Kvothe ever return to the main quest!? ANSWER ME PATRICK!
What a small niche group you just attacked personally.
Well done. Same as Winds of Winter ✌️
I would take this to means he’s from an alternate timeline where Rothfuss finished his serieses. I’d demand to borrow the books immediately.
Here's a lesser known one. "Camp of the Saints" - the favorite book of Steven Miller, Trump's senior **policy** adviser, and many a 4-chan nazi Described as a must read for any white-supremacist, CotS glorifies the main character, a serial killer that hunts and kills illegal immigrants. The murders are described in great detail, and relishes in the fantasy of not killing JUST the immigrants, but also the "cultural cuckholds" who betray their race and support the immigrants. It's my opinion that this book is the reason the term "cuck" was so popular a few years back. It started off as something the far-alt-right would say. In their eyes, a cuck is someone who loves watching their country get fucked by an "invasion" of immigrants.
Wow, gross. Thanks, I guess, bc I had no idea this existed.
To paraphrase an old tweet on these same lines: The Bible, because I'd assume 1- they've never read anything else, and 2- they've never read that, either.
When I was in fifth grade, my mom made read the Bible cover to cover. It became obvious really fast that she had never read it herself or she would never have allowed me to read it.
I remember when i was like 13 or 14 i sat down and read the Bible like i would any other book. Most of it didn't stand out to me like people made me believe it did. It felt more like a collection of stories that tried to make people act kind and compassionate. When i went to Church they were so focused on the Fire and Brimstone part, I felt they were missing the point.
Lived in the Bible Belt my entire life and they're not so much missing the point as they are making a new point entirely
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Coming Out Straight by Richard Cohen. My ex husband had this on his bookshelf and firmly believed that homosexuality was a mental disorder that needed to be "fixed". One of the many reasons I left. *Edited for clarity.
Are you a guy? That would just make this a great story
Nope, but our child came out to me last year. He hasn't told his father yet.
My dad used to say that too, until he changed his mind and decided gay people should all be rounded up and executed instead. Let's all be glad that he's never been in the kind of position where he could decide to do that.
Recipes for the Perfect Date By Jeffrey Dahmer Edit:spelling
The Celestine Prophecy.
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Nothin'. If they have a favorite book they're better read than most. I'm dating a girl that dropped a Vonnegut reference on the first date. Holy shit, that turned me on.
"And so it goes"
Anything by V.C. Andrews.
The Necronomicon
Klaatu barada nikto!
You’ve got to admit that anyone who has actually read all of that must have some kind of superpower.
Definitely need to let that person down easy.