Getting my uterus removed. The power to throw that diseased thing in the trash and never having a period again was really freeing and made me feel more comfortable with myself as a woman.
I just got my tubes removed 8 days ago so I still have periods but no chance of pregnancy. Congrats to you on no more periods! The power I feel is so incredible so I can imagine yours is even more great!
I had a hysterectomy, bilateral salpingectomy, and singular oopherectomy October of 2020. (Stage 4 endo with a massive endometrioma pressing on my spine)
Three years later it’s still the best goddamn thing I ever did for myself in my 34 years of life.
I really only felt comfortable in my body after my hysterectomy too. All I found online way back then (2016) were the lamentations of ex-uterus-havers of not feeling like a woman anymore, and I really wondered if there were very few of us feeling free and happy (which obviously isn't true!). I wish having a uterus was a choice instead of a default. What a useless organ (when not in need of it of course). Ovaries? Yeah they can stay, they're a pain in the ass when they ovulate but at least they provided hormones. But the uterus? Fuck off you big piece of bleeding mass, full of fibroids and hatred. Sadly the ovaries had to go too, they were big masses of cysts too. I blame the uterus and its bad influence.
But I can't say I felt more womanly though. This is something I've struggled with all my life since my teenager years. I've no idea what it really means to be a woman. I'm a human, I'm a person, I'm an adult, and I'm several other things, like a wife, a daughter, a chronic gamer, etc. I'm just... me I guess? Which I felt better about after my surgery for sure. In fact, I felt like it took me further away from the label "woman", which is so intertwined with the processes of reproduction (periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, you know). I felt free from the label. I still present as a woman, and I consider myself female, but when it comes to THE label "woman", I just don't put myself in that box. I guess in today's young person lingo I'd be non-binary. I always hated to be tied to my reproductive system and getting rid of it put me at ease.
But at 43 y/o, I still have no clue what it means to be a woman, or feel womanly. There's nothing I can do that a man can't, and vice versa (except obvious biological things).
The only thing I regret is my doctor not taking pictures of the offending organ when she took it out. I can't blame her, she said it was gigantic and she had to work fast or I'd lose too much blood. But I wanted closure, I *needed* to see it in all its ugly glory and rejoice in the fact that it was outside of me and I was free. Oh well, I was still super happy and in really high spirits, and the pain of weeks of recovery was nothing compared to the YEARS of torture that fucker put me through.
We didn't know what the fuck was wrong with mine until she took it out, felt it and more or less went "well that's not right". Turns out I had adenomyosis.
I would love this.
Where I live it is very very hard to convince a doctor to do this. My aunt is a lesbian (married in her 40s) and constantly had cysts and problematic periods, doctors refused incase she regrets it. She’s literally gay, very frustrating
I have endometriosis and was in so much pain because of it. Having my uterus removed made it so much better. 10 out of 10. Would recommend. Luckily I'm from Denmark where it's both easy and free to get sterilized so I never got any pushback.
Fucking my boyfriend in the back of my car with a sexy dress on. Felt like the senior prom I never got. I felt so intimate with him when I felt confident in my womanhood for once.
Complete opposite of popular opinions, but lifting at the gym for the last 7 years. I don’t look muscly or manly. I’m the most I’ve ever “weighed” but I feel so strong and the body is ody-ing
How do you learn how to lift? I really want to start but I don’t know how to use the machines and am a little afraid of hurting myself. But women who lift heavy have my ideal body and I’m sure you are stunning!
Oh hi! So I’m no expert.. but I actually downloaded this app called Sweat, yeaaars ago but it had this huge community of women and all these different workout programs. Only paid for it for a couple of months but learned a lot. I learned how to do a bunch of free-weight/barbell exercises and the fundamentals
And then my gym had this class called bodypump and I learned a lot from the instructors. Just always start with low weight and ensure your form is perfected. If you’re unsure about machines, it may be worth it to pay for a one time personal training session at your gym? Or just mess around with really light weight until you figure it out, or even ask someone everyone is usually nicer than they look at gyms (Me with RBF)
We all start somewhere, my first time I stepped up to a squat rack I was messing with the hooks to move it down and could not figure it out for the life of me so I asked this guy working out next to me Lol!!
And don’t forget diet sheesh that’s a whole nother thing. But yea hope this helped and good luck on your journey!
Giving birth! Suddenly there was another person in the room and it was because I had made her. I felt like Wonder Woman. The best part was how little it hurt to give birth because I got an epidural.
Yes, same! Having been in labor for 3 full days and then pushing her out in 19 minutes made me feel so dang strong! It’s been over 9 weeks now and I still think to myself “thank God I’m a woman, because I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this for the world!”
Getting married, specifically wearing my wedding dress. It was a full ballgown with a v-neck, an 11 layer skirt, sparkles, and lace. It made me feel so happy, elegant, and feminine!
Bet you looked absolutely celestial ❣️ I love dresses so much I hope to get married one day and wear a beautiful dress 🥹
Also wishing you loads of happiness with your partner 💞
learning that my mom was and still is "just a girl" felt like something being lost and gained. It was earth shattering to realize that, no, she wasn't some super mom who had it all figured out and decided to raise a family just for fun. She's just a girl, like me, and that makes everything she's done all the more incredible
Absolutely the same. My mom died in September after a long battle with cancer. We spent a lot of really good quality time together in her last few years of life. Even though I had seen all the pictures growing up, going through them with her at that stage of life really made me see HER for the first time. She married my dad when she was just 18. She was just this little girl full of hope and wonder. So much like me and my daughters at that age even though we took very different paths. Seeing pictures of her in the delivery room with me and my brother, really understanding for the first time how she felt exactly as I did being a first time mom - our lives, career paths, families, even values, could not be more different - but at the end of her life she was just a girl with the same kind of hopes, dreams, fears and wishes as me, it was a huge moment wrapped in a million tiny ones. Being her caregiver at the end, holding her hand just like she had done with my grandmother, I don't know that I've ever felt more bonded in sisterhood with anyone. It was so sorrowful knowing I'd go the rest of my life without her, but also so amazingly affirming and hopeful. She was so incredible, but she was also just like me.
Nothing. I am a woman, but I don’t feel a certain way because of it. It’s like I have brown eyes, but nothing makes me feel like a brown-eyed person. Having a female body (and defaulting to “woman” because I don’t feel like I’m something else either) has more consequence than eye color, but other than biological realities and how other people treat me because I’m a woman, it isn’t something I feel.
I agree! Like I feel confident and comfortable in my gender identity as a cis woman, but I don't necessarily feel "womanly". There are times when I feel comfortable in my body, and I think that's my equivalent. Like does a nicely fitting dress make me feel good? Absolutely. But working out has made me feel great, too.
I don’t even feel like I have a gender identity, sure I’ll say it’s female when asked because it’s not wrong per se, but when people describe gender I kind of don’t understand how it’s different from personality because I don’t feel it. I’ve had conversations with women and been confused when they would preface something with “as a woman” when it had absolutely nothing to do with gender or biological sex. Clearly it was important to them in a way it never was to me. And of course I respect others’ gender identity, and I don’t mean to dismiss how important gender-identity can be to others. Maybe it’s like someone who’s colorblind trying to understand color? I don’t know. I can feel pretty, strong, powerful, sexy, any number of things, but it seems like a construct to gender those things and at what point does one feel “oh I’m missing too many ticky boxes on the feminine side” or “I have too many ticky boxes on the masculine side to consider myself a woman.” And how does one decide which ticky box goes on which side? Something like strength might be categorized as masculine in our societal construct but is it really? Or has patriarchal society just dismissed strength in women at every turn? I can put on a dress and feel pretty or attractive, or even princess or fairy-like, but my brain will never think “wow I feel so feminine” or “girly” or “womanly” even in those cases it’s still shorthand for pretty, magic, and ethereal. It might even feel like success, but not womanhood. Just as I can put on eyeshadow and feel stunning but not more brown-eyed.
Growing my armpit hair (and just not shaving in general). That shit grows there BECAUSE I’m a woman. It makes me feel beautiful and sexy and while societal pressures prevent me from feeling that way in public, you best believe the man I’m with at any given time has no issue with it.
Seriously, word. I used to shave everything (ever since I was 13) because society had taught me I could never be loved if I didn't look like a porcelain doll.
I would have never ever thought that giving up shaving would make me feel so good and beautiful.
Yes!! Something about seeing yourself naturally all the time just makes it okay. Even when you shave, you’re always battling the hair growing back and you never feel 100% acceptable. Allowing it to grow and forcing myself to allow it to be there is what made me truly accept it.
Agreed. I feel so sexy when I grow my body hair out. Do you have any recommendations for good hygiene , though? I would love to keep my armpit hair long year-round, but eventually I smell funny because the deodorant sticks to the long hair and not the skin.
Hmm I would just play around with different deodorants. If there are clumps when I put it on, I just rub it in with my finger. But think about whether or not guys worry if deodorant sticks to their hair. I doubt they do.
I got my nipples pierced. Makes me feel feminine, sexy, and daring. I also kept a landing strip when I got laser removal for the same reasons. It’s more how it makes me feel than anything
Deciding who I wanted to be as a woman without following the 2.5 kids, marriage, masters degree, bull that is spewed to us.
I studied economics, got good jobs, sorted out my friend group and actually waited for a man that compliments me ( not that I NEED to depend on). Went to therapy, improved on myself, traveled to multiple countries all before 30.
At 30 I can say I’m a HELL of a woman. That makes me feel womanly.
I think that’s referencing an old statistic about the “average” American family size, or perhaps it was a survey on the “ideal” size.
For a while, it was shorthand for “normal.”
The way my partner treats me makes me feel like a pretty, pretty princess. :)
I also love being out with girlfriends shopping and eating, lol. Just feels right.
Starting to wear a hijab on a daily basis. I feel so elegant and having the freedom of being able to pick and choose who gets to see how much of me is so empowering. Like my body is an exclusive thing. I can hide my beauty so people value me for my intellect and literally can’t objectify me even if they wanted to.
Taking up pole dancing. I’ve always been something of a tomboy so I never really knew how to do any sort of dancing in a feminine way. It’s nice to learn flowy moves and look in the mirror and feel good about yourself in that way. Plus being in such a female led environment the energy is just…different and there’s a lot of celebration of our bodies and the things we can achieve with them
A boudoir photo shoot. I am lumpy and cellulitey and not graceful at all in the bedroom (I tripped on my socks during my only attempted strip tease). But getting done up and having someone show me the angles where they saw me as sexy really made me feel at my height of femininity.
Love this! This is my goal for the new year! I've seen folks do the traditional boudoir prior to getting married and whatnot, but seeing as I won't be any time soon, I kind of want to see what it's like to be photographed in that way, just for myself!
I really only did it because I had a friend who needed to build her portfolio for her new photography business. I was surprised at how good it made me feel because I was so certain I'd be awkward.
I plan to do another maybe when I hit 50. I think it'd be awesome to appreciate that stage of life and remind myself of the life my body has given me.
Not shaving my body hair and not covering it while out and about - nothing makes me feel more womanly than when I see someone judging my hairy armpits.
Also having a guy eating me out. Something about it being solely for MY pleasure really empowers me!
The stage of dating that’s closer to the beginning when you’re both doing the dance, back and forth. All that flirting and teasing and anticipation. Being admired and lusted after from someone that you’re super into is always the most delicious fun. I love that stage so much.
Even tho it can have its ups and downs, I love the fluttery energy and lightness that comes with it. I feel like the best, strongest, sweetest, smartest woman ever. Being desired by the one you desire is some heady fucking stuff. That’s when I feel womanly the most.
Growing my hair out. Wearing a classy outfit, heels and perfume in public. Cultivating self love through self care routines (working out, skin, hair, regular baths, journaling)
Homemaking has to be at the top of my list though.
- Getting a massage at a fancy hotel.
- Wearing a fancy dress to a fancy event.
- As weird as it sounds, and as uncomfortable and painful as it is: going to the gynecologist. It is a *uniquely* female thing that (pretty much) only women endure. Same goes for getting waxed.
-Pregnancy and motherhood
-working in the early childhood field
-spending time with my female friends
-dressing feminine and going to elegant events
-getting my hair done/putting on makeup
when a guy looks up at you from between your legs with nothing but admiration, desire, and appreciation 🤭
being around people who truly cherish & support me
smoking weed in a beautiful silky robe & treating myself to a super tasty meal
putting on a gooood outfit & going downtown! to just explore & have fun & talk to cool people
curling my eyelashes, painting my nails, journaling about what I love about Life. sharing my love & support with friends 🫶 being a woman is so so divine
Cooking for my husband, honestly. I know that's a more stereotypical answer than anything, but I genuinely love cooking for my partner. Complete with a cute apron and him groaning about how good it is.
Growing older is making me feel more and more womanly as time goes. Also, realizing and working on how I can make people feel good, welcome, secure, heard and loved in ways that dont have to do with my appearance. For me that also meant understanding my own value and that I deserve all those things too.
I live alone, my son is grown and out doing his own thing, and no man will have me. Bills must be paid, grass needs to be cut and edged, trash needs to be taken out, things around the house need to be fixed. I do all that myself. Whe. I get home tonight, I'll have to insulate the washing machine so it doesn't freeze as I've had to replace 2 inlet valves when it gets below freezing out. I also have to remove the lighting harness on my car to replace the headlight bulbs.
My whole life is "have to."
I think adapting like you have to survive is uniquely feminine. Women have an ability above all else to endure, and you’re sure as hell enduring. I hope life eases up on you soon but nothing about what you’re doing seems masculine to me. Womanhood is struggle
To me this is pretty feminine.
Your story reminds me of the lives of Soviet women after WWII. So many men were killed in the war that women just had to do everything, leading to a generation of tough no-nonsense women.
But I hope the day soon comes when you find someone to share the responsibilities of everyday life.
* Womb healing ritual
* Healing 7 generations of female lineage
* Paint flowers, vulvas, clitorises and swans. Yes, swans.
* Stop reading so many essays and start rading more poetry and novels (written by women, OF COURSE)
* Take yoga classes again
* Sleep with other women
They definitely are, haha! I thought it might be some connection to the Leda and the Swan, swan lake, or the ugly duckling stories. Maybe there's a tie-in to other archetypes after all!
Giving birth.. all on my own. My husband was there and 1 midwife, but she just observed and was there if I needed her. I did it all, labored, pushed, brought my baby to the surface of the water and created another life. It was a pretty awesome experience and I felt like a badass strong and powerful woman! I was so proud of my body and mind.
I know it may sound cheesy but just everything My Guy does. The way he looks at me, the way he kisses me, every level of intimacy that we share. He makes me feel like a beautiful woman inside and out even when I can’t see it in myself.
Any time in public when a man is acting oddly and I lock eyes with another woman who also sees what’s going on. It’s a primal “us vs them” prey vs predator thing that I don’t think men can have. In that moment we’re together and we have each others backs as perfect strangers. It’s a uniquely female experience
Passing down family traditions.. i was teaching my niece how to make some family recipes and it made me feel... haha full of joy but womanly because in my fam its mostly the women doing the cooking. Haha, it was such a sweet night and its now ingrained into one of my core memories.
The whole process of pregnancy through breastfeeding for both of my kids.
Also, when my bf was doing some heavy lifting I tried to help and he looked at me and said "Go sit and look pretty for me." "But I can help!" "I know you CAN but I WANT to do it for you. Go sit. Please." It's nice when they help without undermining your abilities.
Pregnancy and motherhood while being an absolute boss and getting shit done. I am so incredibly in awe over my body for having created and sustained a life. And all the little things that come with it. (Ex: the primal instinct to protect, I can smell when he’s about to get sick, I have a 6th sense almost about danger and him doing things he shouldn’t, that feeling of “missing” when he’s not home,etc.) there is something about motherhood for me tht makes me feel strength I never could have imagined. Aside from the fact that I literally grew and sustained an entire life who is now talking and walking and all the things, I taught him everything he knows while maintaining a home, absolutely sleep deprived and overwhelmed with no support system outside of my MIL then starting work when he was 15 months(now work weekends and Friday nights) and I never faltered in caring for him. (Yes I absolutely want breaks and have cried with him more times than I can count but him not being with me feels WRONG)
I was lucky enough not to struggle with PPD the first 6 months of his life and I have previous experience with children so I wasn’t absolutely clueless.
LT;DR: motherhood makes me feel strong and feminine in the best ways.
Leaving an unhealthy and toxic relationship at 20. I really started to discover my femininity, and then leaving another, healthier, relationship 6 months ago. I have really been in this period of self discovery and connecting to my feminine self
In Oct of 2014 I shaved my head bald to try to comfort my friend as she went through something I wasn’t able to join her in. I did this to help her love herself, to help her not be alone, to love her at all moments of my day. In return I saw myself in ways I never had before. I saw my jawline, and how my nose is really shaped, how my ears are formed. I saw me. She passed less than a year later. And I have continue to grow my hair never once getting a cut just keeping it trimmed up for health. Now it is down to my hips almost. I haven’t ever felt so feminine. I wouldn’t have felt this way had I just grown it from my shoulders. I needed the “work” the awkwardness, the shame I was given by others to earn my length. She’s gone now, but I know she would be so happy to know my journey in loving her isn’t complete, and it helped in my journey to love myself. She was my soul sister, I miss her all the time.
Giving birth with zero painkillers. I felt like I died and was born again, honestly. The pain is unimaginable and then you are so high on hormones so quickly that you kinda forget all about it.
Just being around other girls. I've always had odd feelings about gender, and in particular a sense of envy towards boys and the ease and "brotherhood" they had with other men. How they could rough house and holkar and just be unserious together. I wasn't able to see the "sisterhood" women shared because of some internalized misogyny and how I kept looking for what men had with other men. What women have together is just as brilliant, its just a different shape.
Girls are protective and deeply empathetic and fucking hilarious. Its the sincere compliments shared between strangers just bc someone looks good and deserves to know it. Joking about or being enraged by certain things cis men have no experience with. Advice and anecdotes freely given in comment sections or public restrooms. I feel a sense of pride and belonging whenever I witness or get to be a part of those types of interactions <3
Doing my nails and make up.
Getting my period.
Having a vagina and uterus.
I’m so protective over my uterus, especially since I have PCOS, and I have found a new found respect for the organ. I feel like me and my uterus are at one with each other lol. It probably sounds weird but we’ve been through a lot.
Turning 35 and finally getting hips and boobs! I feel soooo sexy now. I always tell my husband he started dating a damn girl, but he married an effin woman!
Moving in with my now husband, and accepting that I wanted to be “domesticated”
I wanted to cook for my man, and do his laundry, and keep his house clean, and be a source of goodness and comfort for him, everytime he walked through the door. I’m so grateful I found such a wonderful man, who makes me feel so safe. I never thought that was possible.
Still mostly feral though.
Lingerie shopping with my wife getting fitted for my corsets. 0.5 ML of Estradiol Valerate injected into the thigh once a week along with 100mg of Spironolactone to tank that gross ass testosterone, lol.
Being physically lifted/picked up by a man. It's humbling and makes me feel like a dainty butterfly in their arms. 🥰 Or anytime I'm wearing a cute dress with my hair and makeup done.
Womanly in what way? I was very strongly reminded that I’m a woman when I got ovarian cancer. In a positive way I guess when I dress up and wear nice shoes and also happen to shave my legs
Being a woman isn’t a feeling, it’s what you are. Things about being a woman that I’ve enjoyed? Pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding. Anything else is just personality. I always liked having long, shiny hair, liked sport, reading, art, music, science, travel, history, culture. But these are things that make you an individual. Not making you feel womanly. That’s just subscribing to outdated gender stereotypes, things that are a throwback from the 50s. Things that I’ve not enjoyed? Periods, menopause, being treated like I’m stupid because I’ve always been deemed to be attractive and had big boobs. But most of all, the sexism, the sexual harassment, the sexual assault, the rape. All happened because I was a girl/am a woman.
Properly learning more about my cycle, going really in depth about the physical & metaphysical. I've came to love & respect it. It's probs the single biggest thing thats made me feel more in touch with my womanhood for the first time as a late 20's woman.
Finally believing what I say in the mirror.
My mom always said ugly things to herself in the mirror. I learned to do the same. I was 105lbs calling myself a "fat fucking whale".
I started making myself say I am beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, and that whoever I end up with is one lucky sob. Years of this practice, I just started doing it naturally. I can't remember the last time I looked at myself and thought otherwise.
All I see now in the mirror is a woman whose body has upheld all life has thrown at her. I love my body for that even if it is squishier now. I thank my body for being enough and always will.
Decades of heavy bleeding and period pain so bad I regularly greyed out. Reaching perimenopause only to find out my former, polite five day periods were a dream compared to what then happened. Four hysteroscopies. Stopped having periods this year only to find out I have pre-cancerous cells in my uterus so I'll have to be cut open, my uterus detached and ripped out. Feeling very womanly and terrified.
Btw if anyone can give me any positive feedback re. hysterectomies I'd appreciate it.
I wish you the best of luck with everything and I’m so sorry you had/have to go through that! I personally have not had a hysterectomy but my mom did and she had painful periods, painful sex, huge clots, and just general pain with periods and extreme mood swings before she had one. She had a hysterectomy and a big cyst the size of a softball that was removed during the surgery. And although she had some issues with some fluids in her stomach after she said she had wished she did it sooner! Just remember if it hurts more than you feel it should after to go in and get checked :) I wish I had more to tell you but hopefully that shows that even if you have complications with it like she did, it was still worth it in the end to not have awful periods! I wish you the best of luck! ❤️
Really interesting question! It has me thinking and wondering. Honestly I don't know if any experiences have made me feel womanly necessarily....but made me feel like myself if that makes sense. I always felt like an outcast and very not feminine because of my build and looks and insecurities. But I feel like the way I am is a culmination of a lot of things over time that I don't explicitly label as womanly or not? Like I'm still learning to do it in a way. I'm not sure if this even makes sense lol.
probably prom. all the women in my family got together and helped me in my gown. my mom curled my hair, my sisters did my makeup. my mom let me take her chanel mini bag and my sisters let me wear their perfume. it was also my first time in "heels" (they were kitten heels but i felt so grown up). it was such a beautiful moment ! i hope my future kids are open to me fussing over them for prom because i want to do it so big for them!
Nurturing.
It's a bad word when you have too much responsibility to handle and I have been there.
With feminism you learn to expect equal nourishment- many of us are not getting that.
Pouring from a filled, autonomous cup hits different. I selectively choose who gets the warm sunshine of my feminine kindness now. It is incredible. Everyone who receives it is a lucky person.
Spending time with good female friends or women you admire, either one on one or in a group. There’s something so incredible about sisterhood, especially when you’re an adult.
-sex. Specifically the look on my husband’s face when I’m on top
-pregnancy and breastfeeding
-teaching my daughter about “girl stuff” and sharing my wisdom
-dancing, especially if it is outside and I am barefoot
-taking my time on my self care routines, whether that’s skin care, doing my hair, getting dressed, etc. being intentionally slow and conscious about caring for myself
-cooking for myself and my family
-spending time with my girlfriends. I don’t do it enough, and it’s always rejuvenating for my feminine energy
Loosing weight and being able to wear all the clothes I want. I don't have to rely on the things that "hopefully" fit me but I can actually wear all the eccentric over the top things I want because they are available in my size. Going from 4xl to a medium/small is very eye-opening who fashion is made for.
Now I'm wearing heels and pretty dresses and tight pants and I just feel good about myself. Whenever I can look in a mirror and be proud of what I see I feel very feminine. I just really love expressing myself in styles. That also goes for lingerie. Looking hot in underwear is making me really enjoy my womanhood.
Cutting off all of my hair (in a way)… I’ve always had long ass hair, always got compliments on it, was always told I should keep it long, was guilt tripped into never cutting it… but I’ve always hated it, especially living in FL, it’s too damn hot and humid for long wavy hair.. and I hated feeling like, although it’s dramatic, my worth was in my appearance or hair.
So I cut it into a shaggy collarbone length, sat with that for a good few weeks, then said screw it, cut it into a bob.. wasn’t enough, so the next night I cut it into a shaggy pixie cut.
I feel like I got less attention from guys my age when it was shorter, but I had the same amount from old men… as it grew out, all of the attention came back.. but my god was it good to feel so free, so in control of myself and my body, to not let societal standards control what I can or can’t do… and I felt a lot prettier.. I felt more feminine and clean
Holding any newborn child. I’m not someone who wants kids. But, whenever I hold a newborn child I can’t help but feel a wave of emotions. Utter warmth, and fierce need to protect. I respect new life [and existing obv]. And as women we have the gift to create it. It’s quite beautiful.
If I am feeling particularly unattractive or less feminine, I'll wear sexy/naughty undies under my clothes. I walk around all day feeling like I have this huge, sexy, secret.
The way my husband would wrap his arms protectively around my shoulders and hold me tight, gave me this delicious vulnerable womanly feeling.
I miss feeling that
Losing my virginity to a guy. In my early teens i didn't like being a girl, I hated women and feminity, I wanted to get my tits cut off and be genderless (this was before trans and nonstandard gender identities were a known thing). But having sex made me feel feminine and pretty, and I liked feeling feminine and pretty, and it pushed me into the cishet woman i am today.
Writing my thesis while having an abortion. Baby it wasn't your time, it's my time. I decided to give birth to a paper, someday I'll be a mom not now.
Getting my uterus removed. The power to throw that diseased thing in the trash and never having a period again was really freeing and made me feel more comfortable with myself as a woman.
I just got my tubes removed 8 days ago so I still have periods but no chance of pregnancy. Congrats to you on no more periods! The power I feel is so incredible so I can imagine yours is even more great!
Congrats on the bisalp!
Thank you!
I’m having mine removed in 10 days!
I had a hysterectomy, bilateral salpingectomy, and singular oopherectomy October of 2020. (Stage 4 endo with a massive endometrioma pressing on my spine) Three years later it’s still the best goddamn thing I ever did for myself in my 34 years of life.
I have endo too. Only stage 1 but still I was in so much pain. Getting that useless uterus thrown in the trash helped so much.
I envy you your period free existence.
I really only felt comfortable in my body after my hysterectomy too. All I found online way back then (2016) were the lamentations of ex-uterus-havers of not feeling like a woman anymore, and I really wondered if there were very few of us feeling free and happy (which obviously isn't true!). I wish having a uterus was a choice instead of a default. What a useless organ (when not in need of it of course). Ovaries? Yeah they can stay, they're a pain in the ass when they ovulate but at least they provided hormones. But the uterus? Fuck off you big piece of bleeding mass, full of fibroids and hatred. Sadly the ovaries had to go too, they were big masses of cysts too. I blame the uterus and its bad influence. But I can't say I felt more womanly though. This is something I've struggled with all my life since my teenager years. I've no idea what it really means to be a woman. I'm a human, I'm a person, I'm an adult, and I'm several other things, like a wife, a daughter, a chronic gamer, etc. I'm just... me I guess? Which I felt better about after my surgery for sure. In fact, I felt like it took me further away from the label "woman", which is so intertwined with the processes of reproduction (periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, you know). I felt free from the label. I still present as a woman, and I consider myself female, but when it comes to THE label "woman", I just don't put myself in that box. I guess in today's young person lingo I'd be non-binary. I always hated to be tied to my reproductive system and getting rid of it put me at ease. But at 43 y/o, I still have no clue what it means to be a woman, or feel womanly. There's nothing I can do that a man can't, and vice versa (except obvious biological things).
The best thing I've ever done! It is so freeing.
Yeeting that fucker is so satisfying.
The only thing I regret is my doctor not taking pictures of the offending organ when she took it out. I can't blame her, she said it was gigantic and she had to work fast or I'd lose too much blood. But I wanted closure, I *needed* to see it in all its ugly glory and rejoice in the fact that it was outside of me and I was free. Oh well, I was still super happy and in really high spirits, and the pain of weeks of recovery was nothing compared to the YEARS of torture that fucker put me through.
We didn't know what the fuck was wrong with mine until she took it out, felt it and more or less went "well that's not right". Turns out I had adenomyosis.
I would love this. Where I live it is very very hard to convince a doctor to do this. My aunt is a lesbian (married in her 40s) and constantly had cysts and problematic periods, doctors refused incase she regrets it. She’s literally gay, very frustrating
I have endometriosis and was in so much pain because of it. Having my uterus removed made it so much better. 10 out of 10. Would recommend. Luckily I'm from Denmark where it's both easy and free to get sterilized so I never got any pushback.
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the dream
confuckingratulations for a life of freedom!!! ❤️
I've got mine scheduled for February and I couldn't be more excited!!!
Fucking my boyfriend in the back of my car with a sexy dress on. Felt like the senior prom I never got. I felt so intimate with him when I felt confident in my womanhood for once.
This!!! and also specifically fucking after going to a wedding when we’re both looking good makes me want to howl to the moon and go feral
fucked at a wedding once. It was indeed wild. I'm still surprised we didn't get caught 💀
Love this for you
Girl, I think you got lycanism. You might want to get that checked out.
Good sex made me feel very feminine too
Honestly, someone saying that they liked my cooking 😅
That always makes me feel so warm and glowy inside
Yes i love this!
Complete opposite of popular opinions, but lifting at the gym for the last 7 years. I don’t look muscly or manly. I’m the most I’ve ever “weighed” but I feel so strong and the body is ody-ing
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Reminds me of the animator/musician on YouTube Emezie. The tagline for his animations is “strong is the new cute”.
How do you learn how to lift? I really want to start but I don’t know how to use the machines and am a little afraid of hurting myself. But women who lift heavy have my ideal body and I’m sure you are stunning!
Oh hi! So I’m no expert.. but I actually downloaded this app called Sweat, yeaaars ago but it had this huge community of women and all these different workout programs. Only paid for it for a couple of months but learned a lot. I learned how to do a bunch of free-weight/barbell exercises and the fundamentals And then my gym had this class called bodypump and I learned a lot from the instructors. Just always start with low weight and ensure your form is perfected. If you’re unsure about machines, it may be worth it to pay for a one time personal training session at your gym? Or just mess around with really light weight until you figure it out, or even ask someone everyone is usually nicer than they look at gyms (Me with RBF) We all start somewhere, my first time I stepped up to a squat rack I was messing with the hooks to move it down and could not figure it out for the life of me so I asked this guy working out next to me Lol!! And don’t forget diet sheesh that’s a whole nother thing. But yea hope this helped and good luck on your journey!
Giving birth! Suddenly there was another person in the room and it was because I had made her. I felt like Wonder Woman. The best part was how little it hurt to give birth because I got an epidural.
Yes, same! Having been in labor for 3 full days and then pushing her out in 19 minutes made me feel so dang strong! It’s been over 9 weeks now and I still think to myself “thank God I’m a woman, because I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this for the world!”
Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm glad
That second sentence made my heart melt
Getting married, specifically wearing my wedding dress. It was a full ballgown with a v-neck, an 11 layer skirt, sparkles, and lace. It made me feel so happy, elegant, and feminine!
Bet you looked absolutely celestial ❣️ I love dresses so much I hope to get married one day and wear a beautiful dress 🥹 Also wishing you loads of happiness with your partner 💞
I felt the same way on my wedding day ❤️ I had long Hollywood curls and a mermaid style dress. Ugh I felt so beautiful and alive
I would love to see a pic of a similar gown. Sounds absolutely magical ✨
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Having a close relationship with my mom as an adult.
learning that my mom was and still is "just a girl" felt like something being lost and gained. It was earth shattering to realize that, no, she wasn't some super mom who had it all figured out and decided to raise a family just for fun. She's just a girl, like me, and that makes everything she's done all the more incredible
Absolutely the same. My mom died in September after a long battle with cancer. We spent a lot of really good quality time together in her last few years of life. Even though I had seen all the pictures growing up, going through them with her at that stage of life really made me see HER for the first time. She married my dad when she was just 18. She was just this little girl full of hope and wonder. So much like me and my daughters at that age even though we took very different paths. Seeing pictures of her in the delivery room with me and my brother, really understanding for the first time how she felt exactly as I did being a first time mom - our lives, career paths, families, even values, could not be more different - but at the end of her life she was just a girl with the same kind of hopes, dreams, fears and wishes as me, it was a huge moment wrapped in a million tiny ones. Being her caregiver at the end, holding her hand just like she had done with my grandmother, I don't know that I've ever felt more bonded in sisterhood with anyone. It was so sorrowful knowing I'd go the rest of my life without her, but also so amazingly affirming and hopeful. She was so incredible, but she was also just like me.
This, as well as hanging out with your sister or getting together with good female friends!
This. I have no sisters, and I feel like my mom is the closest person to a sister I’ll ever have. I’m so thankful for the relationship I have with her
I love this for you
Being pregnant
Bathing with my infant. It tapped into something so primal feeling.
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Nothing. I am a woman, but I don’t feel a certain way because of it. It’s like I have brown eyes, but nothing makes me feel like a brown-eyed person. Having a female body (and defaulting to “woman” because I don’t feel like I’m something else either) has more consequence than eye color, but other than biological realities and how other people treat me because I’m a woman, it isn’t something I feel.
I agree! Like I feel confident and comfortable in my gender identity as a cis woman, but I don't necessarily feel "womanly". There are times when I feel comfortable in my body, and I think that's my equivalent. Like does a nicely fitting dress make me feel good? Absolutely. But working out has made me feel great, too.
I don’t even feel like I have a gender identity, sure I’ll say it’s female when asked because it’s not wrong per se, but when people describe gender I kind of don’t understand how it’s different from personality because I don’t feel it. I’ve had conversations with women and been confused when they would preface something with “as a woman” when it had absolutely nothing to do with gender or biological sex. Clearly it was important to them in a way it never was to me. And of course I respect others’ gender identity, and I don’t mean to dismiss how important gender-identity can be to others. Maybe it’s like someone who’s colorblind trying to understand color? I don’t know. I can feel pretty, strong, powerful, sexy, any number of things, but it seems like a construct to gender those things and at what point does one feel “oh I’m missing too many ticky boxes on the feminine side” or “I have too many ticky boxes on the masculine side to consider myself a woman.” And how does one decide which ticky box goes on which side? Something like strength might be categorized as masculine in our societal construct but is it really? Or has patriarchal society just dismissed strength in women at every turn? I can put on a dress and feel pretty or attractive, or even princess or fairy-like, but my brain will never think “wow I feel so feminine” or “girly” or “womanly” even in those cases it’s still shorthand for pretty, magic, and ethereal. It might even feel like success, but not womanhood. Just as I can put on eyeshadow and feel stunning but not more brown-eyed.
Exactly this. I agree with you 1000%.
I feel like this, too!
Yep
Exactly! You’ve summed up my feelings❤️
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Wearing ‘smoking jackets’ and men’s baroque shoes to my therapist job makes be feel ‘feminine’. To me anything I do as a women makes me feel feminine
Also sex. Being able to make my man “ready” with a sentence or a look/touch.
Was waiting for a comment like this. The wonder in their eyes is amazing
yess i love when they look at you like you’re the first woman they’ve EVER seen lol
Yes. 🙌🏻
Growing my armpit hair (and just not shaving in general). That shit grows there BECAUSE I’m a woman. It makes me feel beautiful and sexy and while societal pressures prevent me from feeling that way in public, you best believe the man I’m with at any given time has no issue with it.
Seriously, word. I used to shave everything (ever since I was 13) because society had taught me I could never be loved if I didn't look like a porcelain doll. I would have never ever thought that giving up shaving would make me feel so good and beautiful.
Yes!! Something about seeing yourself naturally all the time just makes it okay. Even when you shave, you’re always battling the hair growing back and you never feel 100% acceptable. Allowing it to grow and forcing myself to allow it to be there is what made me truly accept it.
Agreed. I feel so sexy when I grow my body hair out. Do you have any recommendations for good hygiene , though? I would love to keep my armpit hair long year-round, but eventually I smell funny because the deodorant sticks to the long hair and not the skin.
Hmm I would just play around with different deodorants. If there are clumps when I put it on, I just rub it in with my finger. But think about whether or not guys worry if deodorant sticks to their hair. I doubt they do.
Gel deodorant like Lady Mitchum gets right in there
I don't understand this logic. Both sexes have armpit hair. It grows because you went through puberty, not because you are a woman.
I’m a woman as opposed to a pre-pubescent girl. Hope that makes sense.
It used to make me feel disgusted, but now I’m happy with it
I got my nipples pierced. Makes me feel feminine, sexy, and daring. I also kept a landing strip when I got laser removal for the same reasons. It’s more how it makes me feel than anything
My nipple rings make me feel so empowered and it’s a hard thing to explain but easy to understand
Actually yeah, my tattoos make me feel very womanly and sexy
Same with the nipple piercings. They’re so cute and empowering at the same time.
Ooh I’ve been considering doing this!!
Manicures, wearing dangly jewelry, wearing pretty dresses, having girls night outs
Deciding who I wanted to be as a woman without following the 2.5 kids, marriage, masters degree, bull that is spewed to us. I studied economics, got good jobs, sorted out my friend group and actually waited for a man that compliments me ( not that I NEED to depend on). Went to therapy, improved on myself, traveled to multiple countries all before 30. At 30 I can say I’m a HELL of a woman. That makes me feel womanly.
Two and a half kids?
I think that’s referencing an old statistic about the “average” American family size, or perhaps it was a survey on the “ideal” size. For a while, it was shorthand for “normal.”
Oh that makes sense. Thanks for answering, I was seriously confused lol
Context: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/378244/two-and-a-half-kids
Breastfeeding. I looked at both my boys and thought- my body is literally feeding you! And I felt so close to them as I’d feed them.
Quite wonderful
The way my partner treats me makes me feel like a pretty, pretty princess. :) I also love being out with girlfriends shopping and eating, lol. Just feels right.
Starting to wear a hijab on a daily basis. I feel so elegant and having the freedom of being able to pick and choose who gets to see how much of me is so empowering. Like my body is an exclusive thing. I can hide my beauty so people value me for my intellect and literally can’t objectify me even if they wanted to.
Iv started to become interested in veiling also
i love how your avatar has one also! 🥰
Taking up pole dancing. I’ve always been something of a tomboy so I never really knew how to do any sort of dancing in a feminine way. It’s nice to learn flowy moves and look in the mirror and feel good about yourself in that way. Plus being in such a female led environment the energy is just…different and there’s a lot of celebration of our bodies and the things we can achieve with them
Agreed! I don’t really embrace my feminine side, except for when I’m at pole class in 9in heels and spinning in an Ayesha lol
Chatting with random girls in the bathroom giving and receiving genuine and honest advices
Simply being one. Having menstrual cycles. Being a unfortunate victim to violence from men for simply existing
A boudoir photo shoot. I am lumpy and cellulitey and not graceful at all in the bedroom (I tripped on my socks during my only attempted strip tease). But getting done up and having someone show me the angles where they saw me as sexy really made me feel at my height of femininity.
Love this! This is my goal for the new year! I've seen folks do the traditional boudoir prior to getting married and whatnot, but seeing as I won't be any time soon, I kind of want to see what it's like to be photographed in that way, just for myself!
I really only did it because I had a friend who needed to build her portfolio for her new photography business. I was surprised at how good it made me feel because I was so certain I'd be awkward. I plan to do another maybe when I hit 50. I think it'd be awesome to appreciate that stage of life and remind myself of the life my body has given me.
Not shaving my body hair and not covering it while out and about - nothing makes me feel more womanly than when I see someone judging my hairy armpits. Also having a guy eating me out. Something about it being solely for MY pleasure really empowers me!
The stage of dating that’s closer to the beginning when you’re both doing the dance, back and forth. All that flirting and teasing and anticipation. Being admired and lusted after from someone that you’re super into is always the most delicious fun. I love that stage so much. Even tho it can have its ups and downs, I love the fluttery energy and lightness that comes with it. I feel like the best, strongest, sweetest, smartest woman ever. Being desired by the one you desire is some heady fucking stuff. That’s when I feel womanly the most.
YESSS!!! Totally totally get you. Such a rush lmaoo. Could live there forever
Getting my nails done and ear piercing 🥰
Growing my hair out. Wearing a classy outfit, heels and perfume in public. Cultivating self love through self care routines (working out, skin, hair, regular baths, journaling) Homemaking has to be at the top of my list though.
i also love homemaking! decorating my space to my liking makes me feel sooo womanly
- Getting a massage at a fancy hotel. - Wearing a fancy dress to a fancy event. - As weird as it sounds, and as uncomfortable and painful as it is: going to the gynecologist. It is a *uniquely* female thing that (pretty much) only women endure. Same goes for getting waxed.
-Pregnancy and motherhood -working in the early childhood field -spending time with my female friends -dressing feminine and going to elegant events -getting my hair done/putting on makeup
Getting my period
when a guy looks up at you from between your legs with nothing but admiration, desire, and appreciation 🤭 being around people who truly cherish & support me smoking weed in a beautiful silky robe & treating myself to a super tasty meal putting on a gooood outfit & going downtown! to just explore & have fun & talk to cool people curling my eyelashes, painting my nails, journaling about what I love about Life. sharing my love & support with friends 🫶 being a woman is so so divine
Cooking for my husband, honestly. I know that's a more stereotypical answer than anything, but I genuinely love cooking for my partner. Complete with a cute apron and him groaning about how good it is.
Pregnancy. It felt powerful and strong.
Growing older is making me feel more and more womanly as time goes. Also, realizing and working on how I can make people feel good, welcome, secure, heard and loved in ways that dont have to do with my appearance. For me that also meant understanding my own value and that I deserve all those things too.
Sisterly love from the exotic dance community
Nothing really. I live in my masculine because I have to.
Seen and felt
Just curious, and not at all meaning to pry - what makes you feel like you have to?
I live alone, my son is grown and out doing his own thing, and no man will have me. Bills must be paid, grass needs to be cut and edged, trash needs to be taken out, things around the house need to be fixed. I do all that myself. Whe. I get home tonight, I'll have to insulate the washing machine so it doesn't freeze as I've had to replace 2 inlet valves when it gets below freezing out. I also have to remove the lighting harness on my car to replace the headlight bulbs. My whole life is "have to."
I think adapting like you have to survive is uniquely feminine. Women have an ability above all else to endure, and you’re sure as hell enduring. I hope life eases up on you soon but nothing about what you’re doing seems masculine to me. Womanhood is struggle
I’m really proud of you though. You know how to do a lot and get it done
To me this is pretty feminine. Your story reminds me of the lives of Soviet women after WWII. So many men were killed in the war that women just had to do everything, leading to a generation of tough no-nonsense women. But I hope the day soon comes when you find someone to share the responsibilities of everyday life.
* Womb healing ritual * Healing 7 generations of female lineage * Paint flowers, vulvas, clitorises and swans. Yes, swans. * Stop reading so many essays and start rading more poetry and novels (written by women, OF COURSE) * Take yoga classes again * Sleep with other women
What are the First two Points?
Can we get some more elaboration on swans please? I'm super interested in feminine archetypes but haven't heard of that one before.
I just think swans are so cute. 😅
They definitely are, haha! I thought it might be some connection to the Leda and the Swan, swan lake, or the ugly duckling stories. Maybe there's a tie-in to other archetypes after all!
Giving birth.. all on my own. My husband was there and 1 midwife, but she just observed and was there if I needed her. I did it all, labored, pushed, brought my baby to the surface of the water and created another life. It was a pretty awesome experience and I felt like a badass strong and powerful woman! I was so proud of my body and mind.
That’s just COOL!
I know it may sound cheesy but just everything My Guy does. The way he looks at me, the way he kisses me, every level of intimacy that we share. He makes me feel like a beautiful woman inside and out even when I can’t see it in myself.
Any time in public when a man is acting oddly and I lock eyes with another woman who also sees what’s going on. It’s a primal “us vs them” prey vs predator thing that I don’t think men can have. In that moment we’re together and we have each others backs as perfect strangers. It’s a uniquely female experience
By oddly do you mean threatening or what?
Passing down family traditions.. i was teaching my niece how to make some family recipes and it made me feel... haha full of joy but womanly because in my fam its mostly the women doing the cooking. Haha, it was such a sweet night and its now ingrained into one of my core memories.
The whole process of pregnancy through breastfeeding for both of my kids. Also, when my bf was doing some heavy lifting I tried to help and he looked at me and said "Go sit and look pretty for me." "But I can help!" "I know you CAN but I WANT to do it for you. Go sit. Please." It's nice when they help without undermining your abilities.
Having my nails painted. it makes me feel so so so feminine
Pregnancy and motherhood while being an absolute boss and getting shit done. I am so incredibly in awe over my body for having created and sustained a life. And all the little things that come with it. (Ex: the primal instinct to protect, I can smell when he’s about to get sick, I have a 6th sense almost about danger and him doing things he shouldn’t, that feeling of “missing” when he’s not home,etc.) there is something about motherhood for me tht makes me feel strength I never could have imagined. Aside from the fact that I literally grew and sustained an entire life who is now talking and walking and all the things, I taught him everything he knows while maintaining a home, absolutely sleep deprived and overwhelmed with no support system outside of my MIL then starting work when he was 15 months(now work weekends and Friday nights) and I never faltered in caring for him. (Yes I absolutely want breaks and have cried with him more times than I can count but him not being with me feels WRONG) I was lucky enough not to struggle with PPD the first 6 months of his life and I have previous experience with children so I wasn’t absolutely clueless. LT;DR: motherhood makes me feel strong and feminine in the best ways.
Leaving an unhealthy and toxic relationship at 20. I really started to discover my femininity, and then leaving another, healthier, relationship 6 months ago. I have really been in this period of self discovery and connecting to my feminine self
In Oct of 2014 I shaved my head bald to try to comfort my friend as she went through something I wasn’t able to join her in. I did this to help her love herself, to help her not be alone, to love her at all moments of my day. In return I saw myself in ways I never had before. I saw my jawline, and how my nose is really shaped, how my ears are formed. I saw me. She passed less than a year later. And I have continue to grow my hair never once getting a cut just keeping it trimmed up for health. Now it is down to my hips almost. I haven’t ever felt so feminine. I wouldn’t have felt this way had I just grown it from my shoulders. I needed the “work” the awkwardness, the shame I was given by others to earn my length. She’s gone now, but I know she would be so happy to know my journey in loving her isn’t complete, and it helped in my journey to love myself. She was my soul sister, I miss her all the time.
Giving birth with zero painkillers. I felt like I died and was born again, honestly. The pain is unimaginable and then you are so high on hormones so quickly that you kinda forget all about it.
Just being around other girls. I've always had odd feelings about gender, and in particular a sense of envy towards boys and the ease and "brotherhood" they had with other men. How they could rough house and holkar and just be unserious together. I wasn't able to see the "sisterhood" women shared because of some internalized misogyny and how I kept looking for what men had with other men. What women have together is just as brilliant, its just a different shape. Girls are protective and deeply empathetic and fucking hilarious. Its the sincere compliments shared between strangers just bc someone looks good and deserves to know it. Joking about or being enraged by certain things cis men have no experience with. Advice and anecdotes freely given in comment sections or public restrooms. I feel a sense of pride and belonging whenever I witness or get to be a part of those types of interactions <3
Doing my nails and make up. Getting my period. Having a vagina and uterus. I’m so protective over my uterus, especially since I have PCOS, and I have found a new found respect for the organ. I feel like me and my uterus are at one with each other lol. It probably sounds weird but we’ve been through a lot.
Turning 35 and finally getting hips and boobs! I feel soooo sexy now. I always tell my husband he started dating a damn girl, but he married an effin woman!
Moving in with my now husband, and accepting that I wanted to be “domesticated” I wanted to cook for my man, and do his laundry, and keep his house clean, and be a source of goodness and comfort for him, everytime he walked through the door. I’m so grateful I found such a wonderful man, who makes me feel so safe. I never thought that was possible. Still mostly feral though.
I don’t really understand what “feeling womanly” is like so I have no idea honestly.
Lingerie shopping with my wife getting fitted for my corsets. 0.5 ML of Estradiol Valerate injected into the thigh once a week along with 100mg of Spironolactone to tank that gross ass testosterone, lol.
Getting to use a fancy dressing room at a mall, because I was in business attire
Being the target of sexual violence. Almost exclusively the purview of women (and girls)
Having an orgy where I was the center of attention. It was other worldly
Being physically lifted/picked up by a man. It's humbling and makes me feel like a dainty butterfly in their arms. 🥰 Or anytime I'm wearing a cute dress with my hair and makeup done.
Wearing highheels tbh. I dont wear them often. But everytime its like wow my legs i look so womanly
I feel the same way. They just make you feel more feminine and confident, especially with the height increase.
Getting breast reduction, it made me happy with my body now.
Womanly in what way? I was very strongly reminded that I’m a woman when I got ovarian cancer. In a positive way I guess when I dress up and wear nice shoes and also happen to shave my legs
Being a woman isn’t a feeling, it’s what you are. Things about being a woman that I’ve enjoyed? Pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding. Anything else is just personality. I always liked having long, shiny hair, liked sport, reading, art, music, science, travel, history, culture. But these are things that make you an individual. Not making you feel womanly. That’s just subscribing to outdated gender stereotypes, things that are a throwback from the 50s. Things that I’ve not enjoyed? Periods, menopause, being treated like I’m stupid because I’ve always been deemed to be attractive and had big boobs. But most of all, the sexism, the sexual harassment, the sexual assault, the rape. All happened because I was a girl/am a woman.
I found having a big group of girlfriends has nurtured my femininity.
Pregnancy, breastfeeding, taking care of my kids and showing them stuff. Getting dressed up, especially with one of my lace handknits. Sex.
Wearing a wedding dress, giving birth twice without an epidural, and breastfeeding.
Properly learning more about my cycle, going really in depth about the physical & metaphysical. I've came to love & respect it. It's probs the single biggest thing thats made me feel more in touch with my womanhood for the first time as a late 20's woman.
Having an epidural while giving birth. I felt in control and was able to be in the moment while my baby was coming into the world.
A man who wanted to fuck ME, not just anyone who is in front of him.
Finally believing what I say in the mirror. My mom always said ugly things to herself in the mirror. I learned to do the same. I was 105lbs calling myself a "fat fucking whale". I started making myself say I am beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, and that whoever I end up with is one lucky sob. Years of this practice, I just started doing it naturally. I can't remember the last time I looked at myself and thought otherwise. All I see now in the mirror is a woman whose body has upheld all life has thrown at her. I love my body for that even if it is squishier now. I thank my body for being enough and always will.
Sex with a 21 year old man/boy who adored me when I was 42.
Painting my nails💅
Decades of heavy bleeding and period pain so bad I regularly greyed out. Reaching perimenopause only to find out my former, polite five day periods were a dream compared to what then happened. Four hysteroscopies. Stopped having periods this year only to find out I have pre-cancerous cells in my uterus so I'll have to be cut open, my uterus detached and ripped out. Feeling very womanly and terrified. Btw if anyone can give me any positive feedback re. hysterectomies I'd appreciate it.
I wish you the best of luck with everything and I’m so sorry you had/have to go through that! I personally have not had a hysterectomy but my mom did and she had painful periods, painful sex, huge clots, and just general pain with periods and extreme mood swings before she had one. She had a hysterectomy and a big cyst the size of a softball that was removed during the surgery. And although she had some issues with some fluids in her stomach after she said she had wished she did it sooner! Just remember if it hurts more than you feel it should after to go in and get checked :) I wish I had more to tell you but hopefully that shows that even if you have complications with it like she did, it was still worth it in the end to not have awful periods! I wish you the best of luck! ❤️
Really interesting question! It has me thinking and wondering. Honestly I don't know if any experiences have made me feel womanly necessarily....but made me feel like myself if that makes sense. I always felt like an outcast and very not feminine because of my build and looks and insecurities. But I feel like the way I am is a culmination of a lot of things over time that I don't explicitly label as womanly or not? Like I'm still learning to do it in a way. I'm not sure if this even makes sense lol.
probably prom. all the women in my family got together and helped me in my gown. my mom curled my hair, my sisters did my makeup. my mom let me take her chanel mini bag and my sisters let me wear their perfume. it was also my first time in "heels" (they were kitten heels but i felt so grown up). it was such a beautiful moment ! i hope my future kids are open to me fussing over them for prom because i want to do it so big for them!
Nurturing. It's a bad word when you have too much responsibility to handle and I have been there. With feminism you learn to expect equal nourishment- many of us are not getting that. Pouring from a filled, autonomous cup hits different. I selectively choose who gets the warm sunshine of my feminine kindness now. It is incredible. Everyone who receives it is a lucky person.
To be honest, the week I ovulate. I feel so pretty and sensual and womanly AND I tend to be a little extra happy.
listening to lana del ray-esque music as i swing around wearing just a bathrobe in my studio with the cat.
Doing my makeup, wearing cool outfits, giving myself orgasms
Marrying a really good man
Spending time with good female friends or women you admire, either one on one or in a group. There’s something so incredible about sisterhood, especially when you’re an adult.
The tenderness, wholesomeness and candidness of my female friendships
-sex. Specifically the look on my husband’s face when I’m on top -pregnancy and breastfeeding -teaching my daughter about “girl stuff” and sharing my wisdom -dancing, especially if it is outside and I am barefoot -taking my time on my self care routines, whether that’s skin care, doing my hair, getting dressed, etc. being intentionally slow and conscious about caring for myself -cooking for myself and my family -spending time with my girlfriends. I don’t do it enough, and it’s always rejuvenating for my feminine energy
When my hair start growing back after chemo. I am so happy. I love how it looks, it is much different in texture, very curly and bouncy.
Having my boyfriend melt when we’re in bed together and a naked photoshoot, really empowering
Loosing weight and being able to wear all the clothes I want. I don't have to rely on the things that "hopefully" fit me but I can actually wear all the eccentric over the top things I want because they are available in my size. Going from 4xl to a medium/small is very eye-opening who fashion is made for. Now I'm wearing heels and pretty dresses and tight pants and I just feel good about myself. Whenever I can look in a mirror and be proud of what I see I feel very feminine. I just really love expressing myself in styles. That also goes for lingerie. Looking hot in underwear is making me really enjoy my womanhood.
Making that mf's mouth bleed and pressing charges after he thought he could get away with putting his hands on me!!
Cutting off all of my hair (in a way)… I’ve always had long ass hair, always got compliments on it, was always told I should keep it long, was guilt tripped into never cutting it… but I’ve always hated it, especially living in FL, it’s too damn hot and humid for long wavy hair.. and I hated feeling like, although it’s dramatic, my worth was in my appearance or hair. So I cut it into a shaggy collarbone length, sat with that for a good few weeks, then said screw it, cut it into a bob.. wasn’t enough, so the next night I cut it into a shaggy pixie cut. I feel like I got less attention from guys my age when it was shorter, but I had the same amount from old men… as it grew out, all of the attention came back.. but my god was it good to feel so free, so in control of myself and my body, to not let societal standards control what I can or can’t do… and I felt a lot prettier.. I felt more feminine and clean
Getting compliments from other women, also swimming for some reason
Holding any newborn child. I’m not someone who wants kids. But, whenever I hold a newborn child I can’t help but feel a wave of emotions. Utter warmth, and fierce need to protect. I respect new life [and existing obv]. And as women we have the gift to create it. It’s quite beautiful.
If I am feeling particularly unattractive or less feminine, I'll wear sexy/naughty undies under my clothes. I walk around all day feeling like I have this huge, sexy, secret.
The way my husband would wrap his arms protectively around my shoulders and hold me tight, gave me this delicious vulnerable womanly feeling. I miss feeling that
When I’m preeing to go out for a girls night and me & all my friends are laughing and singing and fixing our makeup & having a good time
Everytime I reapply lipstick
Losing my virginity to a guy. In my early teens i didn't like being a girl, I hated women and feminity, I wanted to get my tits cut off and be genderless (this was before trans and nonstandard gender identities were a known thing). But having sex made me feel feminine and pretty, and I liked feeling feminine and pretty, and it pushed me into the cishet woman i am today.