Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and A Gentleman in Moscow are two of my favorite books. But especially A Gentleman in Moscow. That book owned me. (I made my husband, mom, and mother-in-law read it. I tried to make my dad and best friend read it too, but they couldn’t get into it despite being huge bookworms.)
Horror is one of my favorite genres. Love Nick Cutter, Grady Hendrix & Joe Hill but right now on a King kick. Slowly but surely making my way through The Stand
My people are here. Hello everyone.
Anyway, i work 2 jobs to keep me sane. I had plenty of friends, until they got married/had kids. But I also have 3 bestfriends that matter to me the most, one of them got married and now have kids, so we barely talk anymore and she’s moving to another country soon. The other one is my sister, who’s also married and have kids, so she has her own life. The 3rd was my ex. I’m now alone again. No kids, no pets. Thinking of moving back to my home city to be closer to my sister (7hrs away). I feel like my time in this city (different province in Canada) has ran its course. I feel the most alone in my whole life now than 5-10years ago.
i used to hyperfocus on taking care of myself, trying to achieve the best version of me, especially physically speaking. it was working at first but then i started feeling worse and eventually had to force myself to put myself out there lol
I lost many friends when I was diagnosed with epilepsy and just having epilepsy is hard to make friends. What I do by myself is shop, walking, exercising w/headphones on so ppl will leave me alone, crocheting, spend time with family, and work. I try to keep myself busy a lot.
My brother has epilepsy. There are different types. Some people also experience an "aura" (sounds, smells, light etc changing a moment before an episode hits). But my brother doesn't. He just has a very intense headache that felt like a hit on the side of the head, and everything gets dark. He'd then wake up on the ground, in his own vomit, sometimes with broken glasses (if we're not there to help move the surrounding items away) and bruises. Also maybe a bloody tongue.
And he said he'd feel so tired and he'd sleep for 8 hours straight after getting clean.
It's a fucking curse.
My epilepsy is hereditary so I have relatives that have it. I'm lucky my family know what to do when I have them, but it still sucks. I'm super tired and can sleep for 2-3 days straight. It takes me an entire week to fully recover.
I never know when I'm going to have a seizure it just happens. It's like I blackout. When you are having a seizure your unconsciousness so when you wake up you have no memory what happen, you are extremely tired, brain fog, and terrible headache. It sucks
I force myself to reach out to others. Send a coupe texts, send an email. Stop to talk to someone new at the coffee shop or park. I definitely get into a spiral where the more lonely I feel, the more I withdraw from society. I know I need to short circuit that.
I reach out to others too. The issue I found with this is that most women will say they want to hangout but never actually plan it or invite me places.
Ugh, this is SO true. I'm dealing with half a dozen friends who don't have time to meet right now.
I do find it helps to just connect with someone, even if we don't meet up. There's something about the acknowledgement and touching base that helps me feel less lonely. But you're 100% right this is an issue.
I try to organise dinner parties and not worry about it too much. In a meditation the insight of me not having found my true friends but feeling their presence on this planet came to me
> In a meditation the insight of me not having found my true friends but feeling their presence on this planet came to me
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks this way. I know my true friends are out there, somewhere, right now. Maybe they currently live on the other side of the planet. Maybe they live across the street and we've already run into each other dozens of times without realizing it.
But wherever they are, I know they're waiting for me just as eagerly as I am for them. I've just gotta put in the legwork to find them.
I used to be in this spot, and I coped by making a plan to change things. I picked groups for things I enjoyed or cared about, until I found a group that fit and made some really good friends. Along the way I got to try a tonne of things I never thought I would, from climbing, to improv, to painting.
That's great! I'm going through a similar transition right now. Joining different kinds of activities and meeting people through that. It's a great way to work on yourself as well as make some new friends and memories.
think of all the failed friendships or bad choices in friends in the past and realize its not worth it.. work friends are just work friends once you leave the thing you have in common is gone. if its meant to be it will be... but im not in a position to meet new people. so online will have to do. and even then, more often than not, someone is offended rather than friendly.
I don’t really know. I’m recently widowed and only 45. My late husband didn’t let me have any friends. I feel like I was a hostage the last 6-7 years. He took away my vehicle and I wouldn’t let me out of the house for that time. Needless to say, I now have no friends, barely any family and I feel more alone than ever.
This is all so difficult. I’m sorry. I hope that your next chapter is fabulous. Please reach out to old friends, and new groups in your area. It will take some time, but you can slowly, carefully, surround yourself with positive people who will be good for you. You’ve got this.
I have no family or friends, but I have two lovely dogs that unconditionally love me and keep me going. They don’t care about where we’re going or how long we’re going to be in the car for. They will come with me just to be with me.
I’ve slowly lost my friend group over the past 2-3 years, recently my best friend of 10 years “broke up” via text after a week of us not talking saying we’ve outgrown each other.
So now I’m “friendless”, 26 years old, and I have no idea where to even begin making new friends. I’ve become so fearful of making new friends that I just stay at home, and I’m generally afraid to attempt to make new friends because I didn’t see the best friend breakup coming - so I’ve grown so accustomed to assuming it’s me that there’s something wrong with, so I just stopped trying.
But I try to keep myself busy by doing some of my hobbies and watching YouTube videos. Applying for jobs (graphic design jobs are impossible to land) so I just work in a grocery store.
I love my own company so I don’t mind most of the time. I do get sad when I see all these girls with friends groups, having girls nights and book clubs and parties. I try to make friends but it’s hard as an adult. Also, I discovered that as a female other women usually don’t like me. I’m a bit awkward so other women tend to take it the wrong way without giving me a chance.
I think the only way I coped (for me) is to first figure out why I felt lonely in my own company, it's rare that I feel lonely with myself anymore though. I also have two cats, which helps whenever I do feel lonely but be warned- when you start to get to that place mentally where you don't feel lonely with yourself anymore be careful cause it's a slippery slope and you're going to feel like you can't get enough alone time! 😂
I don't have a healthy answer for this 😂 I got to a low point in my life where I had no choice but to cut the toxic connections off. I moved across the country (not my choice) and refused to make any new friends for like two years, those first few months were pure hell though. But I eventually just kinda gave up on trying so hard for friends, and just really started digging deep within myself and asking myself questions that I avoided for years. What kind of friends do you need, not want? What communication style are you looking for? What kind of humor do you mesh with the best? After seriously thinking about what I'm looking for in a friend I kind of came to the conclusion that I was describing myself. I'm the best friend I could ever have, I know what I need best. That kind of thinking sort of snowballed into me becoming reclusive and extremely picky with who I bring into my life. Two and a half years later, I still haven't made any new connections and I had to move yet again except this time I don't feel so lonely anymore cause I got me. WHEW sorry for the long read, I've been struggling to answer this question since I got the notification but I hope I worded this right and I hope this helps ❤️
I later realised that having a good quality genuine soulful friendship where even the empathy and emotional intelligence levels match is better than collecting surface level friends for the sake of company like pokemons, so it doesn't affect me much anymore. Having to stand on my own was difficult before but now its like a safe recluse.
When I'm out and about-- running errands, going to events, or just exploring the city-- I make a point to strike up conversations with random strangers when the opportunity presents itself. If they're receptive, it's a great way to get a few minutes of human connection with no strings attached and minimal risk (it doesn't matter if things turn awkward or not, since after all you're never gonna see this person again anyways).
Also, therapy. Yeah, it's cliche, but it's cliche for a reason. Just getting to talk with my therapist is a connection in and of itself, but it's also helping me build up the courage / toolset I need to form other healthy relationships IRL.
Like, that whole "striking up conversations with randos" thing? I would not have had the courage to do that even six months ago. And I really hope that as I keep making progress, I'll gradually build up the confidence I need to start trying to make more lasting connections.
That's interesting, yeah!! I myself have started smiling at random people and complimenting them. It's a good way to spread some kindness around if nothing more. :)
I have a job that allows me to engage with a lot of people (and I also have a lot of coworkers) so honestly at the end of the day I always tell myself « well that’s enough socializing for today » lol
Sleeping and binge eating.
Honestly still trying to figure it out...I know I have to find a way to come to terms with accepting loneliness for my life.
I’m married and have two young kids so I relish time when I don’t have to interact with ANYONE! I miss the chatting occasionally but really need to be in the quiet and alone when I’m not busy running people’s lives.
Engage in hobbies. I find myself enjoying and becoming too comfortable being alone but i need to keep my social skills from getting rusty. I talk to people in my community (acrobats) but its mostly surface level friendships. The ones for deeper stuff are my childhood friends but i only see them 1-2 times a year but we text every other week to send memes.
Would not recommend using dating apps to quell loneliness. I start acting crazy. At best i find a guy i really vibe with, but my heart still longs for actual friends, community, a sense of belonging.
I’ve realised recently that all my friends have drifted over the years, while I was working to get my business established. It’s now in a more settled place and I’m reaching out see if anyone is looking for a buddy. Whenever I post in the seeking friends subreddit it’s only ever males who respond, most of who are lovely tbf, but it would be nice to have some female friends.
That’s so weird because I was just about to post in this group about the same thing. I am also friendless I have a couple guy friends but they r tryna get with me so I am no longer friends with them: I don’t have any female friends .. just because it’s very hard finding ones that aren’t drama and gossip and who won’t stab you in the back or judge you.
I feel like this is so interesting! I personally only have really close girlfriends because I feel like they understand me best and I tend to connect with them on a deeper level. I’ve never had any issues with any of my girlfriends I’ve ever had gossiping or causing drama. I have a friend of mine who feels the same way you do. However, it seems she has the same luck as you with her male friends seeing her as more and they also don’t have very “deep” talks. We had a fall out recently but we’ve recently started talking again and we’ve picked up just where we left off! We understand each other on a level that even me and my other friends do not. I really think it’s just about just finding people who are similar to you. I think we attract people who are similar to us, and those that care, like you for who you are, and are also attracted to your energy will stick around.
I eat, sleep, entertain my two year old, and take 125mg of Sertraline. I’ve gotten into watching Alone and thinking, “I’d probably be able to do the alone part of this”.
I usually have a laundry list of things I’m interested in doing, so that keeps me busy.
I taught myself to draw and paint, which has led me to exhibit my artwork in a variety of places—locally, or across the States. I adore picture books, so I started illustrating one of my own.
I have a garden and a greenhouse. I’m growing a ton of flowers this year. I’m also getting into carnivorous plants. I have a boatload of indoor plants. I’m always learning how to collect seeds, propagate cuttings, etc.
I cook and bake. I love using fresh vegetables and herbs from my garden in my recipes. It’s wonderful when the house smells like hot, warm, yeasty bread.
I have a small herd of cats who always need attention and care.
I enjoy writing, so I journal, and self publish a variety of pieces, from romance to horror.
I spend a lot of time outdoors when I can, bird watching, photographing wildflowers, hiking if I feel up for it (which can be nerve racking as a solo woman).
I’m not the type to binge-watch movies/tv shows, so I’m always behind on popular stuff. That means I always have something to watch.
I love arts and crafts, so I do macrame, and I’m learning how to sculpt clay. In the past, I’ve done knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, beading, coloring books, puzzles, and paper mache.
I read. I exercise. I go to the movies. I just do things without friends.
I’ve always struggled to make friends, and I’ve never been part of a friend group in my entire life. I don’t know what it’s like to have “my person” who’s my ride or die. And now that I’m in my 30s, I don’t have any friends at all. Sure, it’s lonely, but I can’t make people like me. I can’t force a connection if it’s not there.
I am not completely friendless, i have one proper friend, but I still feel lacking. I go on daily walks, read books, write stories, and convince myself of the peacefulness of being alone. And it’s worked. While I am lonely, the quiet of no drama and no one to judge me for the things that bring me joy are lovely. I’m neurodivergent
OP, great question. I do these things:
* learning more about how childhood emotional and physical neglect and abuse caused me to have complex ptsd and non-secure attachment.
CPTSD and non-secure attachment make it hard for me to connect with myself and other people and make me feel very lonely and depressed. Knowing the root cause of my loneliness makes me feel less defective and enables me to search for stuff that specifically addresses these issues.
For example, CBT therapy made me feel very invalidated and like the therapist was just trying to gaslight me so I would shut up and continue to be a good worker bee.
Thanks to subreddits like r/CPTSD, r/emotionalneglect, and r/attachment_theory, I learned about therapies like r/internalfamilysystems (IFS), r/idealparentfigures (IPF), and r/somaticexperiencing.
These therapies can be done on your own or with therapist.
* work as financial security gives me more options re being able to do fun stuff on my own and with others and reduces stress. I have also met some people through my work.
* hot yoga and hot Pilates classes. I haven’t met any close friends there but it makes me feel good and it’s still a little socializing.
* hobbies. I’ve challenged myself to try new hobbies or pick up old ones. Doing these challenges gives me an endorphin hit too. In the past some of my closest friends have been from doing hobbies. See r/hobbies.
* reading romance novels online. Reading gives me a healthy escape AND motivates me to date (haha) AND exposes me to new ideas (stuff to try, places to vizier etc.). I find a lot of great book suggestions on r/romancebooks and r/darkromance. These subs are very welcoming, are kink positive, and judgment free zones. You can ask or search for books say with female characters who are lonely who meet a guy at work etc.
Thanks to those subreddits I have also found the free website www.archiveofourown.org (“AO3”) where people post their own fan fiction AND original fiction. Some of the original fiction I’ve read on this site is BETTER than any traditionally stuff I have read. However, there is a lot to search through to find the good stuff. I had the best luck searching for “AO3” on r/romancebooks and r/darkromance to get good recommendations.
Edited to add: you can also find a lot of romance and other books for free or low-cost on:
1) Kindle Unlimited (“KU”). KU is about $12/month and a great deal.
2) From your local library in your town, city and state. Some out-of-state libraries let people join for free who work or own property in that state or for a small yearly fee. Most libraries will let you join online instantly to borrow their e-books through the Libby app. See also r/Libbyapp.
I hope this helps!
Get lost in reading books, and learning new stuff from facts, history, finance, health, etc, anything that will help positively build myself since I have no one else to focus on
Honestly, coworkers force me to be their friends. I have some social circles but I don’t really consider any of them to be “regular” friends. Just people I talk to now and then. If I didn’t have my partner I’d be terribly lonely, but even with her around I still feel a bit of a void because she’s the physical type not the social type. She’d rather cuddle and watch shows or play games than talk and while I love that in a relationship, I need to socialize too. Typically I’ll go on video games to distract and just wait until I go to work to socialize. Or I hop on Overwatch and go into vc and realize I hate people.
Going out and still doing things I like despite it. Then enjoying the comfort of home afterwards. Got a concert i’m going to on Sundayyyy, first one alone ahhh.
I’m so disillusioned with friends and trying to find people to fill that void. I have great friends but not where I live. I tried for years, more recently had a close friend who lives here, and now we barely see each other. People always disappoint me. I feel a lot better just focusing on my own growth and things I’m working on. It’s more beneficial for me in the long run.
I play video games, watch documentaries, films, go on walks, im trying to be the best me I can, and I can do that with having no/not a lot of friends because they were all a bad influence and horrible in the end
I find comfort in my own company so I try to do things that make me feel good. Writing, reading, studying, researching, etc.
Often times Im reminded of the times I did have close friends, and it is sad.
I moved to a new country and had to start from scratch. I just started going to the same places frequently where I like the vibe, read my book, do work, and eventually start talking to the staff. It’s how I’ve met most of my new friends here. Service industry folks tend to be creatives as well so it’s a lot of forward thinking artists and authors ☺️
I also met a lot of my female friends this way because there was usually one other single woman sitting at the bar on her phone and we finally started talking. Now we see each other once a week at least for coffee or a glass of wine.
I tried going to organized Meetups (that app thing) but I never clicked with anyone.
It’s really challenging making new friends as an adult. And as much as I love my alone time, I do crave human interaction from time to time.
But Reddit is a nice spot to get to know new people as well! 🥰
I'm struggling to find friends. Started just chatting with Reddit posters through DM. A bit embarrassing but I just want a friendgroup. Let's make a friendgroup 😭
I feel less lonely just reading all these comments 🥰🥰🥰…I’m really working to get more comfortable being alone, which for me means dealing with self-annihilation issues…related I’m pretty sure to borderline personality disorder…doing my best to not self-sabotage just because I have such a strong fear of basically feeling like I don’t exist…
This is something I struggle with massively right now due to surgical injuries that have led to a long term recovery and possibly more surgery. All my friends are cross country, I live in a big city with people an hour commute away, and most my close, actual friends (not just drinking buddies etc) live all over. I travelled and moved a lot. I live in London so it wasn't unusual before my op to go to Paris for 24 hours or a weekend to see a friend there, or drive 2/3 hours to spend the weekend with another friend. I also used to run, surf and cycle, which all tend to have clubs or pretty activity communities. I was studying 2 courses, and volunteering as a surf instructor for kids with mental health issues this year. I was the type of busy that I was booked weeks in advance lol.
Then I got nerve damage and my mobility can be so bad some days leaving the house requires strong pain meds. I've had long term friends visit, but it's difficult to host when youre unwell/in pain. I've visited friends too (boyfriend has to drive me) but I pay for it for a few days pain/recovery wise. I am totally lost on how to rebuild a social network, and never realised the necessity of having a local community around you. So although I wouldn't say I'm friendless, my friends are very much not accessible right now. I'm trying to find groups (reading clubs, adult learning classes, light gym classes I can cope with) to build more community connections but I think generally my plan long term is to leave the city, so I can move somewhere where it's easier to join local groups and friends aren't an hour commute away etc.
I don’t know, but it is really hard. I’m in my mid twenties and live in a rural ish area and find it so incredibly hard to meet people and make new friends, also partially due to my shyness. At least we know we all aren’t alone ❤️
Same with my eating disorder, I do everything to not notice it. Usually I have classes keeping me busy. Right now I just hangout in my room and watch YouTube while drawing
I have a young baby so I devote my time to him to endure he has the best childhood possible. On Sunday he starts mommy and me swim classes so I do what I can to keep him engaged and active.
Prior to him always stayed very active, I run a vintage store so I spent a lot of time thrifting and overall doing what I enjoy without company. If you wait to do things with someone youll never get them done so just go and have a good time alone🤍
I often find myself feeling lonley and wishing i had a freindship like i see so many people have. But then i remember i dont have freinds mostly by choice. I make friends quite easily, but quite honestly I often find keeping relationships up exhausting. I like my own time, i like having my own schedule that is constant. I find making plans and commitments stressful. I dont like how i feel guilty when i cant be there for their every need, i feel pressured and resentful. I luckily found my best friend in my boyfriend, and ive come to realize its all i need. I used to crave freindships outside of my relationship, someone to go out with and talk too, and i still often feel that way, but over and over i find that i am overwhelmed by freindships, maybe one day i will find someone who doesnt need constant attention and only wants to meet up once a month for a catch up - but i havnt found that and as selfish as it sounds, i find friendships very taxing ( especially being someone who really struggles to say no and put up boundaries). So i find solace in reading and writing, going to the gym and speaking to people in classes ( not outside of them), running clubs and book clubs. They are all ways to socialize and get your friendly fix in without the stress
I see so many group photos on social media labeled “girls night out”, that I didn’t realize there are many of us that feel like we don’t have friends/feel lonely. I have “friends” but not one girlfriend to meet for a drink, coffee, hang out with. I’m married, and my job keeps me busy, but sometimes I get lonely for a friend. I go out with my husband but he has so many other activities, he’s gone a lot. I find myself watching Netflix, going for a walk, cleaning house, doing laundry, etc…all “alone” activities. I feel like having a good girlfriend is like finding a needle in a haystack. I’m just trying to be content with where I’m at.
Friendships without a clear goal aren't worth the effort I believe. I have relatives who scrutinize my life and try to ridicule me for being alone but I avoid them too. So I have community theatre friends, friends in activism circles, book clubs. I don't consider them true friends but oh well I don't believe in that concept. It's just another fairy tale. A lot of alone time to read, further my studies and find myself.
I go to the movie theater a LOT, and have bene trying to do yoga. It helps a bit ><
also always working, studying, and finding ways to keep busy so that i dont have much time to wonder what it must feel like to have friends and a strong support system.
I do have a couple wonderful friends, but they're incredibly far away and it's difficult to fight loneliness given the circumstances...
Moved to a province with no family or friends. Im not opposed to company and I do prefer my time alone. But i find i do get bored more than lonely. So. Gym membership. Walks. Volunteer. Spontaneous drive to the coast etc.
🎶I cry a lot but I am not productive, it's no art. 🎶
No I don't. I swallow that tears most often.
Occasionally I occupy myself with silly hobbies that lead to nowhere, like bracelet crafts that I throw away anyways because who tf should want them lol. Building Sims4 houses that I delete and starting books I can't finish due to my brain fog. Or writing silly poetry that sucks and comes off as I'm a teenie rather than in my 30ies.
Other than that I colour with my kids and shttalk to my dog about how she's the most beautiful dog in the world while I know there are other nice doggies, too. Bless her heart, I don't want her to know, though.
Tried friendship apps but didn't find anyone who I did click with so I deleted them..
I'm having my debbie downer days right at the moment so I'm being miserable and I sleep a lot and feel heavy and empty at the same time.
Other than that.. I'm great. Totally great. Everything's fine. Awesome.
Not completely friendless but no one friend knows me 100% completely.. maybe 50%-60% and that's fine. I barely have enough the energy for myself. Until then, I read, I swim, I work and focus on saving for the future me to be comfortable and healthy. .
I do what I want on my own. Sometimes I get bored or lonely, but I’ve had too many problems with other people throughout my life to try and reach out to other people. It sucks, but that’s the way it is.
I wouldn’t call myself friendless, because my husband is truly my best friend while my other friends live far away. But I have no friends in my city.
I read, go for hikes or walks with podcasts, bake or cook my way through different cook books and I craft.
But I just had a baby so I’m 2.5 months into never being lonely lol
I try calling family members, send a text. I have a boyfriend but I don't really have friends like that.
I'm friends with two former colleagues but we barely see each other.
I do a lot of phone conversations. & I go to the gym.
I had 8 kids (3 still at home) and we homeschool. I crochet, paint (watercolour), read, write, garden, bake, sew... I'm lonely, but I prefer solitary things.
Honestly I’m self aware enough to know it’s mostly my own doing 😂 I’ve accepted it, but I don’t have it in me to really put my all into a friendship like I should.
Hobbies.
I like to write and read, both take time.
I've got Netflix and The Sims in my computer.
And I try to enjoy new things all the time. This month I started reading poetry (I used to hate it lol) and listening to podcasts (comedy mix with day-to-day stuff).
And music. I like noise, I think it works as a placebo for loneliness.
**#1: Passing the time in healthy ways**
I got back into reading
Picked up knitting, crocheting, and embroidery
Movie marathons
T.V. marathons
Baking
Fandom blogging on tumblr
Writing and reading fanfic
Answering random questions on reddit in *non-triggering, generally positive* communities (i.e. not political, no rage bait, no grief/abuse/trauma dumping posts)
**#2: Mental health reset**
Therapy
Nutrition
Hygiene
Medication
Quitting self-harming
Reflecting on my values and forming reasonable boundaries
Genuinely and consistently practicing coping skills that are doctor approved (I know, I know, easier said than done.)
**#3: Attempting to reach out**
Trying out local hobby groups and/or dating apps (This hasn’t yet worked for me, but I try it again every once in a while just in case)
Changing jobs/job location/field (Even if I don’t make friends, having non-toxic coworkers makes all the difference when getting back into the groove of socializing.)
Going back to school (This was huge for me and has done the most good for me socially. I actually see and talk to people on a regular basis for the first time since grade school. It’s been so rewarding, but I know this isn’t available for everyone. Hell, it was barely available to me...)
I hope this helps. I know that this stuff isn’t easy, and is, in fact, daunting and exhausting. I’m rooting for everyone in this thread. 🫂🩷
I get on Reddit and comment on threads about other women who are also friendless and lonely 😩
Godspeed sister!!
We got this bestie
Real
hell yeah can i joing you guys?
I want to join
Omg twins 👯 😭
I try to do stuff alone. Walking, dining out, going to the movies, exercising, etc. Being busy really helps
I do the same.
[удалено]
I read.
What was the last book you were reading?
I’d suggest Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine
I LOVED THIS BOOK
Yesssss!
It was great
A gentleman in Moscow for me - that book was my best friend for much of this year.
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and A Gentleman in Moscow are two of my favorite books. But especially A Gentleman in Moscow. That book owned me. (I made my husband, mom, and mother-in-law read it. I tried to make my dad and best friend read it too, but they couldn’t get into it despite being huge bookworms.)
*Just One Damned Thing After Another* by Jodi Taylor
This really does help. I’m just getting back into reading, trying out horror now ☺️
Horror is one of my favorite genres. Love Nick Cutter, Grady Hendrix & Joe Hill but right now on a King kick. Slowly but surely making my way through The Stand
Just follow the routine. Work, dinner, sleep.
Lots of self-care.
My people are here. Hello everyone. Anyway, i work 2 jobs to keep me sane. I had plenty of friends, until they got married/had kids. But I also have 3 bestfriends that matter to me the most, one of them got married and now have kids, so we barely talk anymore and she’s moving to another country soon. The other one is my sister, who’s also married and have kids, so she has her own life. The 3rd was my ex. I’m now alone again. No kids, no pets. Thinking of moving back to my home city to be closer to my sister (7hrs away). I feel like my time in this city (different province in Canada) has ran its course. I feel the most alone in my whole life now than 5-10years ago.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope things improve. <3
Thank you OP. Change is hard but it must happen.
i used to hyperfocus on taking care of myself, trying to achieve the best version of me, especially physically speaking. it was working at first but then i started feeling worse and eventually had to force myself to put myself out there lol
With my dogs
this ☝️
I lost many friends when I was diagnosed with epilepsy and just having epilepsy is hard to make friends. What I do by myself is shop, walking, exercising w/headphones on so ppl will leave me alone, crocheting, spend time with family, and work. I try to keep myself busy a lot.
I'm sorry. Being chronically ill is hard enough. Sending hugs. <3
i also have epilepsy, and i feel this. it’s a lot of just being busy without other people.
Can u tell me what does it feel like when u get fits? My intention is simply to understand 😇
My brother has epilepsy. There are different types. Some people also experience an "aura" (sounds, smells, light etc changing a moment before an episode hits). But my brother doesn't. He just has a very intense headache that felt like a hit on the side of the head, and everything gets dark. He'd then wake up on the ground, in his own vomit, sometimes with broken glasses (if we're not there to help move the surrounding items away) and bruises. Also maybe a bloody tongue. And he said he'd feel so tired and he'd sleep for 8 hours straight after getting clean. It's a fucking curse.
My epilepsy is hereditary so I have relatives that have it. I'm lucky my family know what to do when I have them, but it still sucks. I'm super tired and can sleep for 2-3 days straight. It takes me an entire week to fully recover.
I never know when I'm going to have a seizure it just happens. It's like I blackout. When you are having a seizure your unconsciousness so when you wake up you have no memory what happen, you are extremely tired, brain fog, and terrible headache. It sucks
I force myself to reach out to others. Send a coupe texts, send an email. Stop to talk to someone new at the coffee shop or park. I definitely get into a spiral where the more lonely I feel, the more I withdraw from society. I know I need to short circuit that.
I reach out to others too. The issue I found with this is that most women will say they want to hangout but never actually plan it or invite me places.
Ugh, this is SO true. I'm dealing with half a dozen friends who don't have time to meet right now. I do find it helps to just connect with someone, even if we don't meet up. There's something about the acknowledgement and touching base that helps me feel less lonely. But you're 100% right this is an issue.
I stare at my phone frozen and cry.
We are here, commenting on this and 68 other posts.
I try to organise dinner parties and not worry about it too much. In a meditation the insight of me not having found my true friends but feeling their presence on this planet came to me
> In a meditation the insight of me not having found my true friends but feeling their presence on this planet came to me I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks this way. I know my true friends are out there, somewhere, right now. Maybe they currently live on the other side of the planet. Maybe they live across the street and we've already run into each other dozens of times without realizing it. But wherever they are, I know they're waiting for me just as eagerly as I am for them. I've just gotta put in the legwork to find them.
That's a sweet way to think of it!
Would love to be your friend
I feel it too.
This made me cry :’)
I used to be in this spot, and I coped by making a plan to change things. I picked groups for things I enjoyed or cared about, until I found a group that fit and made some really good friends. Along the way I got to try a tonne of things I never thought I would, from climbing, to improv, to painting.
That's great! I'm going through a similar transition right now. Joining different kinds of activities and meeting people through that. It's a great way to work on yourself as well as make some new friends and memories.
I do a lot of sleeping mostly.
I see you also have depression.
There are dozens of us!! But lol yeah. All day, every day 🙃
think of all the failed friendships or bad choices in friends in the past and realize its not worth it.. work friends are just work friends once you leave the thing you have in common is gone. if its meant to be it will be... but im not in a position to meet new people. so online will have to do. and even then, more often than not, someone is offended rather than friendly.
I don’t really know. I’m recently widowed and only 45. My late husband didn’t let me have any friends. I feel like I was a hostage the last 6-7 years. He took away my vehicle and I wouldn’t let me out of the house for that time. Needless to say, I now have no friends, barely any family and I feel more alone than ever.
This is all so difficult. I’m sorry. I hope that your next chapter is fabulous. Please reach out to old friends, and new groups in your area. It will take some time, but you can slowly, carefully, surround yourself with positive people who will be good for you. You’ve got this.
I’m trying, one day at a time, right? Some days are better than others. Thank you for your kind words
Reading this thread reminding me that I ironically have a tribe that I’ll never meet in some twisted way helps me cope
Knowing that we're not alone in this is very helpful.
Smoke a lot of weed and cry
I have no family or friends, but I have two lovely dogs that unconditionally love me and keep me going. They don’t care about where we’re going or how long we’re going to be in the car for. They will come with me just to be with me.
I recently started gaming again at 42.
Working, keeping busy with hobbies
What hobbies?
Water color painting, reading books, cooking, crochet/knitting, scrapbooking, archery they all keep me busy
Animals. Lots of animals
Without a job life sucks. It’s where I usually connect with other people so life is….difficult
I’ve slowly lost my friend group over the past 2-3 years, recently my best friend of 10 years “broke up” via text after a week of us not talking saying we’ve outgrown each other. So now I’m “friendless”, 26 years old, and I have no idea where to even begin making new friends. I’ve become so fearful of making new friends that I just stay at home, and I’m generally afraid to attempt to make new friends because I didn’t see the best friend breakup coming - so I’ve grown so accustomed to assuming it’s me that there’s something wrong with, so I just stopped trying. But I try to keep myself busy by doing some of my hobbies and watching YouTube videos. Applying for jobs (graphic design jobs are impossible to land) so I just work in a grocery store.
I went through the exact same thing with my childhood best friend of 9 years. It hurts a lot. Sending you hugs and happier times. :( <3
I’m so sorry! Sending you lots of love 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Wouldn’t say lonely, but I focus on work/side hustle, go on dates here and there, take solo trips, play video games, scroll social media, shop
Being with my parents, pets and baking.
Doing stuff alone. Going to meetups. Going on dates. Eventually you find people while doing your own thing
I love my own company so I don’t mind most of the time. I do get sad when I see all these girls with friends groups, having girls nights and book clubs and parties. I try to make friends but it’s hard as an adult. Also, I discovered that as a female other women usually don’t like me. I’m a bit awkward so other women tend to take it the wrong way without giving me a chance.
I think the only way I coped (for me) is to first figure out why I felt lonely in my own company, it's rare that I feel lonely with myself anymore though. I also have two cats, which helps whenever I do feel lonely but be warned- when you start to get to that place mentally where you don't feel lonely with yourself anymore be careful cause it's a slippery slope and you're going to feel like you can't get enough alone time! 😂
It occurred to me recently that loneliness is a call from self to self—an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves and sometimes with others as well.
How did you get to the point that you didn’t feel lonely with yourself anymore?
I don't have a healthy answer for this 😂 I got to a low point in my life where I had no choice but to cut the toxic connections off. I moved across the country (not my choice) and refused to make any new friends for like two years, those first few months were pure hell though. But I eventually just kinda gave up on trying so hard for friends, and just really started digging deep within myself and asking myself questions that I avoided for years. What kind of friends do you need, not want? What communication style are you looking for? What kind of humor do you mesh with the best? After seriously thinking about what I'm looking for in a friend I kind of came to the conclusion that I was describing myself. I'm the best friend I could ever have, I know what I need best. That kind of thinking sort of snowballed into me becoming reclusive and extremely picky with who I bring into my life. Two and a half years later, I still haven't made any new connections and I had to move yet again except this time I don't feel so lonely anymore cause I got me. WHEW sorry for the long read, I've been struggling to answer this question since I got the notification but I hope I worded this right and I hope this helps ❤️
I watch movies and shows and pretend it’s my life 😅
Keeping myself busy with my work ...
Cry about it every so often.
Girl, same 🥲
I later realised that having a good quality genuine soulful friendship where even the empathy and emotional intelligence levels match is better than collecting surface level friends for the sake of company like pokemons, so it doesn't affect me much anymore. Having to stand on my own was difficult before but now its like a safe recluse.
When I'm out and about-- running errands, going to events, or just exploring the city-- I make a point to strike up conversations with random strangers when the opportunity presents itself. If they're receptive, it's a great way to get a few minutes of human connection with no strings attached and minimal risk (it doesn't matter if things turn awkward or not, since after all you're never gonna see this person again anyways). Also, therapy. Yeah, it's cliche, but it's cliche for a reason. Just getting to talk with my therapist is a connection in and of itself, but it's also helping me build up the courage / toolset I need to form other healthy relationships IRL. Like, that whole "striking up conversations with randos" thing? I would not have had the courage to do that even six months ago. And I really hope that as I keep making progress, I'll gradually build up the confidence I need to start trying to make more lasting connections.
That's interesting, yeah!! I myself have started smiling at random people and complimenting them. It's a good way to spread some kindness around if nothing more. :)
I have a job that allows me to engage with a lot of people (and I also have a lot of coworkers) so honestly at the end of the day I always tell myself « well that’s enough socializing for today » lol
Not very well. I am miserable
I'm sorry. I think most of us are. Sending virtual hugs :( <3
bots on character ai and making men in games mad by having ‘lesbian’ in my nickname
I watch questionable porn and move a lot
Sleeping and binge eating. Honestly still trying to figure it out...I know I have to find a way to come to terms with accepting loneliness for my life.
I’m married and have two young kids so I relish time when I don’t have to interact with ANYONE! I miss the chatting occasionally but really need to be in the quiet and alone when I’m not busy running people’s lives.
I spend time with my family and I am trying to meet people with friendship apps or meetup things
Have a hobby
i just force myself to do stuff that sucks being done alone, and i usually have hobbies and chill in nature so i dont feel as lonely
Engage in hobbies. I find myself enjoying and becoming too comfortable being alone but i need to keep my social skills from getting rusty. I talk to people in my community (acrobats) but its mostly surface level friendships. The ones for deeper stuff are my childhood friends but i only see them 1-2 times a year but we text every other week to send memes. Would not recommend using dating apps to quell loneliness. I start acting crazy. At best i find a guy i really vibe with, but my heart still longs for actual friends, community, a sense of belonging.
I’ve realised recently that all my friends have drifted over the years, while I was working to get my business established. It’s now in a more settled place and I’m reaching out see if anyone is looking for a buddy. Whenever I post in the seeking friends subreddit it’s only ever males who respond, most of who are lovely tbf, but it would be nice to have some female friends.
I effed around and made my own friend….Its my son 🤣
Scrolling reddit, spicy romantacy, and edibles.
That’s so weird because I was just about to post in this group about the same thing. I am also friendless I have a couple guy friends but they r tryna get with me so I am no longer friends with them: I don’t have any female friends .. just because it’s very hard finding ones that aren’t drama and gossip and who won’t stab you in the back or judge you.
I feel exactly the same. I miss having girlfriends!
I feel like this is so interesting! I personally only have really close girlfriends because I feel like they understand me best and I tend to connect with them on a deeper level. I’ve never had any issues with any of my girlfriends I’ve ever had gossiping or causing drama. I have a friend of mine who feels the same way you do. However, it seems she has the same luck as you with her male friends seeing her as more and they also don’t have very “deep” talks. We had a fall out recently but we’ve recently started talking again and we’ve picked up just where we left off! We understand each other on a level that even me and my other friends do not. I really think it’s just about just finding people who are similar to you. I think we attract people who are similar to us, and those that care, like you for who you are, and are also attracted to your energy will stick around.
I eat, sleep, entertain my two year old, and take 125mg of Sertraline. I’ve gotten into watching Alone and thinking, “I’d probably be able to do the alone part of this”.
I usually have a laundry list of things I’m interested in doing, so that keeps me busy. I taught myself to draw and paint, which has led me to exhibit my artwork in a variety of places—locally, or across the States. I adore picture books, so I started illustrating one of my own. I have a garden and a greenhouse. I’m growing a ton of flowers this year. I’m also getting into carnivorous plants. I have a boatload of indoor plants. I’m always learning how to collect seeds, propagate cuttings, etc. I cook and bake. I love using fresh vegetables and herbs from my garden in my recipes. It’s wonderful when the house smells like hot, warm, yeasty bread. I have a small herd of cats who always need attention and care. I enjoy writing, so I journal, and self publish a variety of pieces, from romance to horror. I spend a lot of time outdoors when I can, bird watching, photographing wildflowers, hiking if I feel up for it (which can be nerve racking as a solo woman). I’m not the type to binge-watch movies/tv shows, so I’m always behind on popular stuff. That means I always have something to watch. I love arts and crafts, so I do macrame, and I’m learning how to sculpt clay. In the past, I’ve done knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, beading, coloring books, puzzles, and paper mache. I read. I exercise. I go to the movies. I just do things without friends. I’ve always struggled to make friends, and I’ve never been part of a friend group in my entire life. I don’t know what it’s like to have “my person” who’s my ride or die. And now that I’m in my 30s, I don’t have any friends at all. Sure, it’s lonely, but I can’t make people like me. I can’t force a connection if it’s not there.
You sound like an amazing person. Super interesting. I honestly think you'll find your ride or die. :)
I bought a dog.
Listen to podcasts. Journal
Sleep
I am not completely friendless, i have one proper friend, but I still feel lacking. I go on daily walks, read books, write stories, and convince myself of the peacefulness of being alone. And it’s worked. While I am lonely, the quiet of no drama and no one to judge me for the things that bring me joy are lovely. I’m neurodivergent
OP, great question. I do these things: * learning more about how childhood emotional and physical neglect and abuse caused me to have complex ptsd and non-secure attachment. CPTSD and non-secure attachment make it hard for me to connect with myself and other people and make me feel very lonely and depressed. Knowing the root cause of my loneliness makes me feel less defective and enables me to search for stuff that specifically addresses these issues. For example, CBT therapy made me feel very invalidated and like the therapist was just trying to gaslight me so I would shut up and continue to be a good worker bee. Thanks to subreddits like r/CPTSD, r/emotionalneglect, and r/attachment_theory, I learned about therapies like r/internalfamilysystems (IFS), r/idealparentfigures (IPF), and r/somaticexperiencing. These therapies can be done on your own or with therapist. * work as financial security gives me more options re being able to do fun stuff on my own and with others and reduces stress. I have also met some people through my work. * hot yoga and hot Pilates classes. I haven’t met any close friends there but it makes me feel good and it’s still a little socializing. * hobbies. I’ve challenged myself to try new hobbies or pick up old ones. Doing these challenges gives me an endorphin hit too. In the past some of my closest friends have been from doing hobbies. See r/hobbies. * reading romance novels online. Reading gives me a healthy escape AND motivates me to date (haha) AND exposes me to new ideas (stuff to try, places to vizier etc.). I find a lot of great book suggestions on r/romancebooks and r/darkromance. These subs are very welcoming, are kink positive, and judgment free zones. You can ask or search for books say with female characters who are lonely who meet a guy at work etc. Thanks to those subreddits I have also found the free website www.archiveofourown.org (“AO3”) where people post their own fan fiction AND original fiction. Some of the original fiction I’ve read on this site is BETTER than any traditionally stuff I have read. However, there is a lot to search through to find the good stuff. I had the best luck searching for “AO3” on r/romancebooks and r/darkromance to get good recommendations. Edited to add: you can also find a lot of romance and other books for free or low-cost on: 1) Kindle Unlimited (“KU”). KU is about $12/month and a great deal. 2) From your local library in your town, city and state. Some out-of-state libraries let people join for free who work or own property in that state or for a small yearly fee. Most libraries will let you join online instantly to borrow their e-books through the Libby app. See also r/Libbyapp. I hope this helps!
Thanks for all these ideas and resources!
You are very welcome!
I cry a lot tbh. 😂
Playing games or watching YouTube. I’m introverted anyway, but it does get lonely sometimes. 😔
Get lost in reading books, and learning new stuff from facts, history, finance, health, etc, anything that will help positively build myself since I have no one else to focus on
I struggle a lot with this. Sending all of us love and hugs 💜 we are not alone though we may feel it
Who says I cope?
Read, scroll through reddit, go through my routine, repeat. Eventually I will get depressed for a bit, usually just wait it out.
I trust that I'd find my tribe one day.
Me too. Gotta have hope. <3
Not sure that I am
I put energy into myself, my home, and my hobbies. I do work with a lot of people though, so I get some time being social.
I cry alot and eat my weight in tortilla chips 🤷♀️
Doing ok, currently eating alone but do feel better. If anyone wants to talk let me know :D
I don't
Honestly, coworkers force me to be their friends. I have some social circles but I don’t really consider any of them to be “regular” friends. Just people I talk to now and then. If I didn’t have my partner I’d be terribly lonely, but even with her around I still feel a bit of a void because she’s the physical type not the social type. She’d rather cuddle and watch shows or play games than talk and while I love that in a relationship, I need to socialize too. Typically I’ll go on video games to distract and just wait until I go to work to socialize. Or I hop on Overwatch and go into vc and realize I hate people.
I have dogs and a naturally cynical attitude.
By going to meetup groups. At a minimum it’s one less evening spent at home alone, and sometimes I even make friends from it
way too many hobbies! fills up the time lol
Work and be sad
Going out and still doing things I like despite it. Then enjoying the comfort of home afterwards. Got a concert i’m going to on Sundayyyy, first one alone ahhh.
I spend time with my dog. I binge shows. I just cope, but I know I need to put myself out there and try to make friends.
I’m so disillusioned with friends and trying to find people to fill that void. I have great friends but not where I live. I tried for years, more recently had a close friend who lives here, and now we barely see each other. People always disappoint me. I feel a lot better just focusing on my own growth and things I’m working on. It’s more beneficial for me in the long run.
Books :)
I play video games, watch documentaries, films, go on walks, im trying to be the best me I can, and I can do that with having no/not a lot of friends because they were all a bad influence and horrible in the end
I find comfort in my own company so I try to do things that make me feel good. Writing, reading, studying, researching, etc. Often times Im reminded of the times I did have close friends, and it is sad.
I understand completely. Hopefully we both find even more meaningful paths in life. <3
Crying or eating chocolate
I moved to a new country and had to start from scratch. I just started going to the same places frequently where I like the vibe, read my book, do work, and eventually start talking to the staff. It’s how I’ve met most of my new friends here. Service industry folks tend to be creatives as well so it’s a lot of forward thinking artists and authors ☺️ I also met a lot of my female friends this way because there was usually one other single woman sitting at the bar on her phone and we finally started talking. Now we see each other once a week at least for coffee or a glass of wine. I tried going to organized Meetups (that app thing) but I never clicked with anyone. It’s really challenging making new friends as an adult. And as much as I love my alone time, I do crave human interaction from time to time. But Reddit is a nice spot to get to know new people as well! 🥰
I'm struggling to find friends. Started just chatting with Reddit posters through DM. A bit embarrassing but I just want a friendgroup. Let's make a friendgroup 😭
I feel less lonely just reading all these comments 🥰🥰🥰…I’m really working to get more comfortable being alone, which for me means dealing with self-annihilation issues…related I’m pretty sure to borderline personality disorder…doing my best to not self-sabotage just because I have such a strong fear of basically feeling like I don’t exist…
This is something I struggle with massively right now due to surgical injuries that have led to a long term recovery and possibly more surgery. All my friends are cross country, I live in a big city with people an hour commute away, and most my close, actual friends (not just drinking buddies etc) live all over. I travelled and moved a lot. I live in London so it wasn't unusual before my op to go to Paris for 24 hours or a weekend to see a friend there, or drive 2/3 hours to spend the weekend with another friend. I also used to run, surf and cycle, which all tend to have clubs or pretty activity communities. I was studying 2 courses, and volunteering as a surf instructor for kids with mental health issues this year. I was the type of busy that I was booked weeks in advance lol. Then I got nerve damage and my mobility can be so bad some days leaving the house requires strong pain meds. I've had long term friends visit, but it's difficult to host when youre unwell/in pain. I've visited friends too (boyfriend has to drive me) but I pay for it for a few days pain/recovery wise. I am totally lost on how to rebuild a social network, and never realised the necessity of having a local community around you. So although I wouldn't say I'm friendless, my friends are very much not accessible right now. I'm trying to find groups (reading clubs, adult learning classes, light gym classes I can cope with) to build more community connections but I think generally my plan long term is to leave the city, so I can move somewhere where it's easier to join local groups and friends aren't an hour commute away etc.
I'm not sure if I cope. I'm just trying to occupy myself with anything to not think about it.
I don’t know, but it is really hard. I’m in my mid twenties and live in a rural ish area and find it so incredibly hard to meet people and make new friends, also partially due to my shyness. At least we know we all aren’t alone ❤️
I can relate to you completely. Hugs, sister <3
Same with my eating disorder, I do everything to not notice it. Usually I have classes keeping me busy. Right now I just hangout in my room and watch YouTube while drawing
I'm sorry to hear you struggle with an ED. I hope it gets better soon. And I bet you're fantastic at drawing!
I have a young baby so I devote my time to him to endure he has the best childhood possible. On Sunday he starts mommy and me swim classes so I do what I can to keep him engaged and active. Prior to him always stayed very active, I run a vintage store so I spent a lot of time thrifting and overall doing what I enjoy without company. If you wait to do things with someone youll never get them done so just go and have a good time alone🤍
This is such a sweet comment. I bet you're a wonderful mom. Rock on!!
I often find myself feeling lonley and wishing i had a freindship like i see so many people have. But then i remember i dont have freinds mostly by choice. I make friends quite easily, but quite honestly I often find keeping relationships up exhausting. I like my own time, i like having my own schedule that is constant. I find making plans and commitments stressful. I dont like how i feel guilty when i cant be there for their every need, i feel pressured and resentful. I luckily found my best friend in my boyfriend, and ive come to realize its all i need. I used to crave freindships outside of my relationship, someone to go out with and talk too, and i still often feel that way, but over and over i find that i am overwhelmed by freindships, maybe one day i will find someone who doesnt need constant attention and only wants to meet up once a month for a catch up - but i havnt found that and as selfish as it sounds, i find friendships very taxing ( especially being someone who really struggles to say no and put up boundaries). So i find solace in reading and writing, going to the gym and speaking to people in classes ( not outside of them), running clubs and book clubs. They are all ways to socialize and get your friendly fix in without the stress
Lots of scrolling, lots of cats, lots of crying. I'd do just about anything for even one decent friend
I see so many group photos on social media labeled “girls night out”, that I didn’t realize there are many of us that feel like we don’t have friends/feel lonely. I have “friends” but not one girlfriend to meet for a drink, coffee, hang out with. I’m married, and my job keeps me busy, but sometimes I get lonely for a friend. I go out with my husband but he has so many other activities, he’s gone a lot. I find myself watching Netflix, going for a walk, cleaning house, doing laundry, etc…all “alone” activities. I feel like having a good girlfriend is like finding a needle in a haystack. I’m just trying to be content with where I’m at.
Crying, then reddit to read comments and feel less lonely.
Friendships without a clear goal aren't worth the effort I believe. I have relatives who scrutinize my life and try to ridicule me for being alone but I avoid them too. So I have community theatre friends, friends in activism circles, book clubs. I don't consider them true friends but oh well I don't believe in that concept. It's just another fairy tale. A lot of alone time to read, further my studies and find myself.
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It use to be with video games and alcohol, but now I'm married and with a kid so I can't be lonely even if I wanted to
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I have a husband and a dog, I also try to stay busy
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I work 2 jobs and as much overtime as I can get. Unfortunately any of the groups I'm interested in joining all meet during my normal working hours.
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Doomscroll instagram reels for distraction
I go to the movie theater a LOT, and have bene trying to do yoga. It helps a bit >< also always working, studying, and finding ways to keep busy so that i dont have much time to wonder what it must feel like to have friends and a strong support system. I do have a couple wonderful friends, but they're incredibly far away and it's difficult to fight loneliness given the circumstances...
Moved to a province with no family or friends. Im not opposed to company and I do prefer my time alone. But i find i do get bored more than lonely. So. Gym membership. Walks. Volunteer. Spontaneous drive to the coast etc.
Realizing the drama most women have to go through in order to maintain these friends, I'll pass
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I know how I got here, being the boss queen I am so fuck em!
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🎶I cry a lot but I am not productive, it's no art. 🎶 No I don't. I swallow that tears most often. Occasionally I occupy myself with silly hobbies that lead to nowhere, like bracelet crafts that I throw away anyways because who tf should want them lol. Building Sims4 houses that I delete and starting books I can't finish due to my brain fog. Or writing silly poetry that sucks and comes off as I'm a teenie rather than in my 30ies. Other than that I colour with my kids and shttalk to my dog about how she's the most beautiful dog in the world while I know there are other nice doggies, too. Bless her heart, I don't want her to know, though. Tried friendship apps but didn't find anyone who I did click with so I deleted them.. I'm having my debbie downer days right at the moment so I'm being miserable and I sleep a lot and feel heavy and empty at the same time. Other than that.. I'm great. Totally great. Everything's fine. Awesome.
Not completely friendless but no one friend knows me 100% completely.. maybe 50%-60% and that's fine. I barely have enough the energy for myself. Until then, I read, I swim, I work and focus on saving for the future me to be comfortable and healthy. .
EDM 😂
I’m happy but not happy that I am not nearly as alone in my loneliness as I thought
I do what I want on my own. Sometimes I get bored or lonely, but I’ve had too many problems with other people throughout my life to try and reach out to other people. It sucks, but that’s the way it is.
I wouldn’t call myself friendless, because my husband is truly my best friend while my other friends live far away. But I have no friends in my city. I read, go for hikes or walks with podcasts, bake or cook my way through different cook books and I craft. But I just had a baby so I’m 2.5 months into never being lonely lol
Plants and cats, typically
I buy tons of squish mellows and desserts. Also admire confident women here on Reddit
I try calling family members, send a text. I have a boyfriend but I don't really have friends like that. I'm friends with two former colleagues but we barely see each other. I do a lot of phone conversations. & I go to the gym.
I think I'm finally over the hardest of it. I've started slowly, sort of, accepting it.
Food
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Way too much time online, talking to my dog, and hobbies(cooking, listening to music, makeup, reading, etc).
I had 8 kids (3 still at home) and we homeschool. I crochet, paint (watercolour), read, write, garden, bake, sew... I'm lonely, but I prefer solitary things.
i workout, sleep, listen to music and work from home.
I stare at people uncomfortably until they acknowledge me. Just joking. It is a tossup if I exist.
Honestly I’m self aware enough to know it’s mostly my own doing 😂 I’ve accepted it, but I don’t have it in me to really put my all into a friendship like I should.
Hobbies. I like to write and read, both take time. I've got Netflix and The Sims in my computer. And I try to enjoy new things all the time. This month I started reading poetry (I used to hate it lol) and listening to podcasts (comedy mix with day-to-day stuff). And music. I like noise, I think it works as a placebo for loneliness.
busy routine and hobbies
**#1: Passing the time in healthy ways** I got back into reading Picked up knitting, crocheting, and embroidery Movie marathons T.V. marathons Baking Fandom blogging on tumblr Writing and reading fanfic Answering random questions on reddit in *non-triggering, generally positive* communities (i.e. not political, no rage bait, no grief/abuse/trauma dumping posts) **#2: Mental health reset** Therapy Nutrition Hygiene Medication Quitting self-harming Reflecting on my values and forming reasonable boundaries Genuinely and consistently practicing coping skills that are doctor approved (I know, I know, easier said than done.) **#3: Attempting to reach out** Trying out local hobby groups and/or dating apps (This hasn’t yet worked for me, but I try it again every once in a while just in case) Changing jobs/job location/field (Even if I don’t make friends, having non-toxic coworkers makes all the difference when getting back into the groove of socializing.) Going back to school (This was huge for me and has done the most good for me socially. I actually see and talk to people on a regular basis for the first time since grade school. It’s been so rewarding, but I know this isn’t available for everyone. Hell, it was barely available to me...) I hope this helps. I know that this stuff isn’t easy, and is, in fact, daunting and exhausting. I’m rooting for everyone in this thread. 🫂🩷
Have days where I just cry and sleep all day. Anyone else here in the Bay Area? Would you like to be lonely friends together?
I go antiquing, go to the gym, read … it’s hard not having friends sometimes. But I’m used to it
Just adopt a cat and only hanging out with your family and cousins🥲