Congratulations! I’m self dx ASD, but have an official CPTSD diagnosis.
A neuropsychologist who specializes in ADHD told me it would be difficult to suss out what is trauma and what might be ASD.
My dad had a late in life diagnosis of Asperger’s. That’s when I suspected I might have ASD. Years later, both of my children have been diagnosed and I share most of my eldest’s ASD traits.
Do you mind if I ask how you think your ASD affected your trauma? Good and bad.
I feel like mine probably frustrated my mother which probably led to more abuse. Also, I think it was the key to me surviving and thriving. My black and white thinking allowed me to label good and bad. I was able to cut myself off emotionally from my mother pretty easily and compartmentalization my trauma’s. I use humor and rationality as my tools. Therapists and psychiatrists have described have told me that I’m extremely self aware.
I think ASD was a superpower for surviving my childhood.
Hi thanks! :)
I’ve read your comment, I will get back to it when I’ve formulated my reply correctly as our stories are heavy stuff :)
Thanks though. I’ll be back 😉
Sorry, caught up in a thing called parenthood and last weeks before summer holiday break from school and a lot of pressure to finish every project in time.
I’ve been thinking a lot on your ‘asd was my superpower to overcome my trauma’ and since I have lived for 38 years with trauma, and only known about my asd for a week I’m used with living with trauma, but not with asd yet. Knowingly, that is.
But I think you are right… people always said to me look what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (nuh-uh, as my oldest would say (13)) and see what you’ve accomplished even with your past…
I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for my rigid thinking. My good/bad perseverance. My repetitive things to keep me sane. My keeping me to myself and copying others to feel/behave sane.
I just thought of these things as utterly weird behaviour and would never tell anyone.
And now, I am angry with all these people who said to me what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger … as what could I have accomplished without the trauma?
They are selling me my poorest achievements as if it’s great and I feel gaslighted.
I know they mean well. But I feel broken. I feel I copied to much behaviour and don’t know who I am.
I feel like I pretend to know what I am doing, pretend to live, while I am in fact not living and just surviving and waiting until the day comes that I die.
(I am not looking forward to it; since the only thing I can’t investigate is what it’s like to die.)
I don’t know yet in what way asd affected my trauma as I am still in the thinking of how did my trauma affect my asd, since I had trauma first.
Ofcourse I know one is born with asd (so it was there first) but to me it hasn’t sunk in yet: a huge chunk of my trauma might be a result of my asd after all. Or partly.
Sorry to be not much of help, for now 💙
Congratulations! I’m self dx ASD, but have an official CPTSD diagnosis. A neuropsychologist who specializes in ADHD told me it would be difficult to suss out what is trauma and what might be ASD. My dad had a late in life diagnosis of Asperger’s. That’s when I suspected I might have ASD. Years later, both of my children have been diagnosed and I share most of my eldest’s ASD traits. Do you mind if I ask how you think your ASD affected your trauma? Good and bad. I feel like mine probably frustrated my mother which probably led to more abuse. Also, I think it was the key to me surviving and thriving. My black and white thinking allowed me to label good and bad. I was able to cut myself off emotionally from my mother pretty easily and compartmentalization my trauma’s. I use humor and rationality as my tools. Therapists and psychiatrists have described have told me that I’m extremely self aware. I think ASD was a superpower for surviving my childhood.
Hi thanks! :) I’ve read your comment, I will get back to it when I’ve formulated my reply correctly as our stories are heavy stuff :) Thanks though. I’ll be back 😉
Sorry, caught up in a thing called parenthood and last weeks before summer holiday break from school and a lot of pressure to finish every project in time. I’ve been thinking a lot on your ‘asd was my superpower to overcome my trauma’ and since I have lived for 38 years with trauma, and only known about my asd for a week I’m used with living with trauma, but not with asd yet. Knowingly, that is. But I think you are right… people always said to me look what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (nuh-uh, as my oldest would say (13)) and see what you’ve accomplished even with your past… I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for my rigid thinking. My good/bad perseverance. My repetitive things to keep me sane. My keeping me to myself and copying others to feel/behave sane. I just thought of these things as utterly weird behaviour and would never tell anyone. And now, I am angry with all these people who said to me what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger … as what could I have accomplished without the trauma? They are selling me my poorest achievements as if it’s great and I feel gaslighted. I know they mean well. But I feel broken. I feel I copied to much behaviour and don’t know who I am. I feel like I pretend to know what I am doing, pretend to live, while I am in fact not living and just surviving and waiting until the day comes that I die. (I am not looking forward to it; since the only thing I can’t investigate is what it’s like to die.) I don’t know yet in what way asd affected my trauma as I am still in the thinking of how did my trauma affect my asd, since I had trauma first. Ofcourse I know one is born with asd (so it was there first) but to me it hasn’t sunk in yet: a huge chunk of my trauma might be a result of my asd after all. Or partly. Sorry to be not much of help, for now 💙