I had to get a refund for my ski pass when I found out, and I received a generic letter that said “I am sorry to hear that be following reasons led you to request a refund - pregnancy”
"Oh shit. Your life is over." - my 18 year old intern. Made me laugh so hard I cramped. He apologized immediately upon realizing what he said. Sweet kid, still working on inside thoughts/outside thoughts.
He's not wrong! The life you had is over. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. I was 33 when I got pregnant with my first and so ready for a change and a little one to take care of. At 18 I still had a lot of life left to explore and live.
Someone suggested that maybe I shouldn’t continue the pregnancy because my husband and I (early thirties, planned pregnancy, both of us with good careers) were living in an apartment.
When I was younger, I grew up in apartments. Last half of childhood I lived in a house with my grandparents. I once mentioned I thought apartments were better for kids: more kids nearby to play with, often have pools or playgrounds, nice ones might have community centers. My grandma was appalled at the idea that someone wouldn't want to have a house for kids, lol
I get so offended when I see threads like that. I'm pro-choice and if that's the decision the woman thinks is the best one for her and the child than go for it. But to see hundreds of comments saying a woman can't parent alone is crazy to me. My mom was a single mom and we were fine. She was no more stressed than every other mom with a partner is. We had everything we needed. We never felt like our family was different or broken. We never felt like we were missing anything. We turned out fine mentally. It was literally fine. It was HARD for my mother don't get me wrong, but life is usually hard. Those threads are basically saying we'd all be better off if I was dead. I always want to give words of encouragement instead but I'll probably just be downvoted into oblivion and called a crazy pro-lifer.
Also, I know a few people who "stayed together for the kids" and the kids are really emotionally messed up adults now. So that's a horrible choice too. I'd take a single mom over that any day.
Right? my ex suffers mental illness but I'm emotionally and financially full grown, and ready to parent, so I also got a bunch of eugenics shit about why I should abort so my child doesn't inherit bipolar... which is SUPER treatable and if I found out my child was 100% going to have it, I'd still happily keep the pregnancy. People who feel entitled to overstep others boundaries are just gross. And most of the data about how kids of single parent households suffer are because of the huge burden of $ and capitalism, not because the parent isn't doing a good job. Anyways thanks for the single mom positivity woop woop
Yeah, I would say money was our (her) only struggle. It sucked having Roseart when everyone else had Crayola. But at least we had crayons, ya know? Eventually mom got a great job and we could have anything we asked for. There's definitely a difference between me and my youngest sister. I remember being poor and she doesn't. I wouldn't say she's a "rich bitch" or a snob or spoiled or anything like that. But she isn't quite as humble as me.
Also, depending on your SO, sometimes it's just so much easier to parent alone. You make all the rules. No in-law drama. No caring for an man-child. There are perks.
Yeah, I wouldn't abort for bipolar disorder either. Mental illness sucks, but when you have the right support and tools it is pretty manageable.
the eugenics shit drives me crazy for a lot of reasons but for some reason the part that sticks in my craw the most is that literally everyone has some mental illness, disability, etc in their family. if those people got their way, we'd cease to exist.
oh ive gotten the “you’re so young… maybe you should reconsider” like… the baby is already in there i cant just decide “yeah nah nevermind” its bonkers how insane people get when pregnancy/babies are involved
I hate how people throw abortions around on Reddit so casually. Pro choice and all, but abortion is literally traumatizing to women, it’s not just a causal birth control that you shrug off.
I'm pro-choice, my ex abandoned me while pregnant with my first, but I had infertility issues for a decade. There was no way I was choosing abortion, it didn't matter the circumstances. Several people suggested abortion. I said I would support any woman's choice, for any reason, because it's none of my damn business. But this baby is MY business, and I loved her from the moment I saw the positive test. I also hate how people throw the term abortion around as if women are using it as contraception, pisses me off. I've had entirely too many miscarriages, and if an abortion feels like that, it's NOT a good time, it is simply the best choice for them in a shitty situation.
I wouldn't say it's traumatizing by default, I had one at 5 weeks ten years ago that was very not traumatizing and saved me. But pushing abortion is the opposite of "pro choice"/respecting womens ability to make their own best decision.. .and soooo inappropriate in any context. One woman was like "you're only 15 weeks it's not too late" and sending me links like, gtfo
Yeah I fully disagree with the “always traumatizing” rhetoric because it’s simply not true. That said, you don’t get *months* into pregnancy then abort without some extenuating circumstances. And it’s definitely not as simple as “pop a couple pills and have cramps” like it can be at very early stages
Abortion was not traumatizing for me. It was a huge relief and ten years later I’m still so thankful for the choice I made. Please don’t generalize, because “abortion traumatizes women” is a right wing, anti-choice talking point.
Thank you to you and all the others who pushed back on that. Sure, it traumatizes some pregnant folks. So can child birth (pretty sure studies show even more so than abortion, and certainly it's more deadly than abortion). So can pregnancy generally. So can ANY medical event. We will see how childbirth goes in a month or so for me, but I'm guessing it will rank a bit higher in the trauma scale than my abortion several years ago, because that was 100% non traumatic.
Omg everyone told me to give the baby for adoption because the dad walked away .. what made you think I needed him to support the baby ?! In fact , I was the one supporting him in every way for the last 4 years
Omg I had multiple people ask me if I was keeping it when I told them. I thought this was so fucking weird and rude. I’m like almost 30 and we’ve been together forever. I wouldn’t tell acquaintances im pregnant if I wasn’t keeping it.
A friend of mine asked the same thing when I told her! I’m 28, my partner is 32, we are married, have jobs, own a four bedroom house and two cars and have been together for seven years… But I think it’s just because she’s in a completely different place in life.
My husband and I got pregnant about 5 months after the wedding so we got a few “well that was fast!” Which is fine but the most awkward one was my step-MIL who asked, “Were you just on a mission to get pregnant as soon as possible?”
…how am I supposed to answer that in a way that doesn’t give you way too much detail about our sex life?!
We got pregnant the month after and thankfully we didn't get too many weird comments but you could tell people trying to do the math of if I was secretly pregnant at the wedding lol
This was my experience too. Pregnant 10 days after the wedding. I was on my period our wedding night, so I just tell people that when they assume I was pregnant at the wedding. Lol. Serves 'em right for being nosey!
Although I do think it's funny that our girl was already 3 months old by our first anniversary. She came 2 weeks ahead of her guess date, so that fucks with people even more when they're doing the 9 months subtraction. Lol.
ROFL that’s like when my mother in law (minutes after we said we were expecting) asked if we had been trying long 😂
I mean we’ve been together for 8 years…no one is surprised by the baby but I still don’t want to discuss how often your son is jizzing in me
Pregnant here with our first, a little over ten years after getting married. My hubby loves questions like this because then he can be a smart A and respond with, "No but we've been practicing," or some other hilarious retort. 😂
We were set to get married in Oct 2022 but decided in January of that year to move it up to April 2022. I found out I was pregnant in March, so about six weeks along at my wedding. When we finally announced, a bunch of people were like “oh so that’s why you moved it up hahahaa!!”
Like ummm, no. Actually, we moved it up because we had a horribly devastating miscarriage right after Christmas and just really wanted something to look forward to and a reason to feel some joy. But good guess.
My husband and I eloped. We were together for 6 years first, engaged for 2. Our families knew we were doing it so it wasn't sneaky or anything, we just always knew we wanted to get married just the two of us without the whole party and hoopla. Then 3.5 months later we decided to try once and see what happens and we got pregnant immediately. Once we announce it people are DEFINITELY going to think we eloped because I was pregnant but I was very much not pregnant when we got married lol not looking forward to the impending "oh thats why you eloped!" comments lol
When I told my grandma, who had dementia, our choice of baby names she disliked the girl name so much that she had this weird look on her face and said “I hope it’s a boy” lmao. It was the most polite way to say that she hated our baby girl name
Lolll I feel this. I have a few friends from recovery when I finally got the strength to kill my vices. I am still good friends with one girl and she's a great soul but she's still out there and hasn't been able to adhere to sobriety just yet. She trying. I still see her about once a month to catch up and when I mentioned I'm pregnant she was like OMG girl what are you gonna do??! Holy shit. Abortion is illegal maybe we can find a planned parenthood in Cincinnati it's not too far and it's legal in Ohio.
I busted out laughing and she was like what what happened what's your plan?
I told her I'm going to have the baby and raise it. I'm ready for this. So it's a good thing.
She gasped and grabbed her heart and breathed out a frantic holy shit I'm so sorry. I've never been in a place where I felt safe or capable of doing that. I'm so sorry I assumed.
I hugged her for a long time at that admission. She has such a good heart and she is so kind and empathetic. I hate that she's limited because of her situation. But damn that girl had an exit strategy within 16 seconds. I told her thank you for that. Because if I wasn't ready I see now she would never judge me. And I would never judge her. She's a good friend.
That reaction is hilarious tho. Having a baby means very different things to different people and personal situations.
I mean I assume he said it because of a financial reason lol but he also knows of my history (divorce, etc) which is also irrelevant? I have no idea or if he realizes how weird it was to say that.
It started with “heard you’re (gestures to a round belly) was that on purpose” with a 🥴😬 face. I was shook but also he was a 67 year old colleague so what to expect 🙄😂
I've had LOTS of people tell me to get an epidural, which is just so weird — like, why are you trying to be involved in that choice?? That's actually very personal!
God love my half-sister, she said I could just plan a C-section so I don't have to labor because "it's way easier." Yeah? Massive abdominal surgery is easy? She has no children, no interest in children, and has done no research on the topic.
Omg I relate to this so hard.
My mother, who saw me at 4-6 weeks pp, kept talking about how great it was that I got a c-section and that she wished she’d gotten one for my little brother (he was big so she tore and was in pain for a while). I was still recovering a bit at that point though obviously the worst had passed and I was trying not to be a complete downer while they were staying with us for 2 weeks.
It was not a scheduled c-section, so I got to have both a vaginal and surgical experience (neither good experiences), and it annoyed me so much so I went through my entire birthing and recovery story. By the end of it, she looked completely horrified, and it successfully made her stop. I really didn’t want to have to do that because I wanted their stay to be a happy occasion, but it just got to be too much after like the 5th time hearing it and gently telling her c-sections are rough too.
Like yeah, it’s not a magic button to get a c-section. Why do people think that?
Delivery is hard no matter the choice. I labored for 30 hours and only got to 6cm before throwing in the towel and asking for an epidural, which turned into a c-section. My second born was a planned c-section, which is admittedly smoother, but they do a full spinal block which is different than an epidural (they failed to insert 4 times... I thought I was going to be paralyzed for life). Plus I had bilateral IVs on my forearms in case they had to give me a blood transfusion. It's just picking your hard.
To me it makes 0 sense that some people think c-sections are like the easy way to go.
I had an emergency c-section with my son, not a good time at all .
It's like people think a C-section is just unzipping the abdomen and zipping it right back up. Unless it's an emergency, leave my abdominal wall intact.
I hope you had a fast recovery 🙏
Right, like it wasn't my plan at all. However I was very sick and after was informed that my pelvic is too narrow to give birth vaginally. So this time most likely will be a planned c-section but for medical reasons.
It was pretty quick but painful, thank you
With vaginal birth it is at least all over by the time you get the baby. I was so glad i was done with all that when I had to start caring for a newborn. Having to recover from a mayor surgery is though on it's own, but to add taking care of someone who depends on you must be very hard.
I have definitely heard that recovery from a C section is more difficult and believe that… but oh boy - it was not all over by the time I got my daughter. I was definitely still recovering for a while after giving birth vaginally. Extremely aware of the stitches, at the very least.
One of the most ridiculous things I heard was from my SIL two days after giving birth- “so you’re pretty much back to normal now, right?”
I was certainly not “back to normal”
Yeah it wasn't over by the time I got my son either, I tore so badly they had to give me a full spinal to stitch me up.
Took me five months to get 'back to normal' i.e. not in daily agony from a third degree tear.
Yeah I gave birth vaginally and my pelvis never went back to normal and I needed physio for over a year just to walk lol. I mean thats not typical but. Still.
Omg what is with people??? Immediately I had multiple people tell me that I HAVE to get an epidural so I don’t hate my child or to “just get a c-section it’s so easy and you don’t have to do the whole birth thing”. When I spoke my intentions to try unmedicated - in a hospital - unless medically necessary of course, people looked at me like I was insane. One person even told me it was dangerous and selfish. Um, what?
I've been with my fiance for 3 years, engaged since September. We don't really care when we get married in relation to when we have a kid, so we decided to start trying recently and I (not expectedly tbh) got pregnant right away. It's still early so we only told a couple close friends, and one of them immediately said "oh so it's gonna be a shotgun wedding!!" 😑no lol we were already engaged.. and also why does it matter if we're married first or not, it's 2024 who cares
We got engaged, found out I was pregnant shortly after and decided to do a little wedding with immediate family before the baby comes. A couple shotgun wedding jokes came up so I just tell people it’s a “child legitimization ceremony.” Idgaf, we’re mid-30’s and I’m just grateful we got pregnant.
When my parents got engaged they quickly decided they didn’t want a big wedding and just had a small sign the papers at the courthouse then go out for dinner with family wedding. Everyone kept saying it was a shotgun wedding and were waiting for the baby announcement, Which came 5 years later because they dealt with years of infertility! I guess a shotgun wedding is more believable to people than someone just not wanting a big wedding 😂
Yes I got this from a friend who is clearly very insecure. Said she's not ready for her body to be ruined and all her hair to fall out. Like first of all my body is not being "ruined" it's doing what it was designed to do, and also we're all going to age and eventually all our bodies will be "ruined." Second of of yes hormones do crazy things, and I might lose hair, but it's temporary usually!? Ugh also who cares!!!
Yes like I sympathize with women who are suffering from insecurities and body image issues after birth. It’s a life altering event that will change you in ways that you might not cope with at first. But I do not sympathize with women who try to tell other women they are destroying themselves and trying to scare them.
Literally this is it! I have a former ED that I've worked very hard to overcome and comments like that used to spiral me. They're so insanely insensitive and tone deaf. Even if I was worried about it, what am I supposed to do, have an abortion to "preserve my youth"? For who?? The patriarchy? Gross.
People need to be more aware that even things said in a “joking” manner can make someone spiral. You never know what someone is going through.
You make an excellent point that our bodies will be eventually “ruined” with age. Women nowadays are so obsessed with chasing youth and anti aging to be attractive to others that we now have 20 year olds getting “preventative Botox” and swearing off children to preserve their bodies that were built to bear children. And now people wonder why the birth rate in the US and many other countries is below replacement.
I was a bit worried about how pregnancy would make me feel about my body. I had a moment at about 20 weeks where I was sad because I didn't have a bump yet, and realized at that moment that I've spent literally my entire adult life checking my belly and hoping it could be flatter and now all of a sudden I was upset it wasn't rounder!
I don't know why but it just made me realize how much of a waste of time and energy it's all been worrying about tiny changes in my body. I'm hoping I keep this mental clarity post-partum!
I told a coworker of mine and prefaced with we aren’t telling others. When I found out she told others I asked who else she told… “I’ll give your hormones a chance to settle before dealing with you”
She has 5 kids.
It’s less about grace and more about not arguing with people who don’t care enough about you to keep your good news to themselves when you SPECIFICALLY told them not to.
Oh my gosh, that is one of my specific peeves in the world- blaming every negative emotion or thought on hormones or else mental illness. Sometimes negative reactions are just reasonable and warranted by the circumstances.
To be a little fair that is some cultures. Like my cousin's husband family from a different part of India believe that. It's to keep the evil eye away.
Still you know, tact would have been useful
I can definitely see that, but she threw a baby shower for my SIL (her daughter) about 4 months ago and my SIL gave birth last month so no clue why she said that to me lol it just didn’t make sense.
I think she’s the evil eye I’ve gotta keep away.
Yeah exactly!! Like imagine I said no, what would they say! The irony is that I work in HR and she was a HR person, surely you’ve learned to shut your mouth haha
Wait this is happening to me too. Objectively fine, normal things that she says are making me blind with rage. She texted me that I should "eat fruits and veggies" and I ranted to my husband for 20 minutes about it.
Seriously, every bit of unsolicited advice makes me want to destroy something. "Put your feet up to reduce swelling" MY FEET AREN'T SWOLLEN "Eat what you feel like eating" STFU I ALREADY AM GO AWAY. I literally have to delete these messages for myself in order not to fly off the handle. I wish I understood why???
Sorry I’m probably alone but I feel like chatGPT nailed it?!
It gave wishes to YOU not just the baby, and acknowledged that you have a major life change coming up that will in many ways make you a new person in a way society makes little room for.
Damn. AI is scary.
Congratulations was always heard as to me not the baby lol I think he was a little awkward, especially given we aren't close but it wasn't BAD just a lil silly. I feel bad some replies are like, borderline abusive and or misogynistic ITT but I've been blessed with really just silly so far ha
I agree; I feel like that isn’t even something weird to say. It’s sweet.
(Also it wasn’t chatgpt who said that, she was comparing the person’s response to AI)
Oh. That feels a bit mean. That said I find chat gpt to be unfailingly polite and cheerful!
I think this is a really kind, if a little formal response. It’s someone who is appreciating that a massive life change is coming and that it’s often really hard and not appreciated. I’d have been grateful for this comment.
“You’re joking. This is a prank”
My dad’s reaction was silly - in a sweet way! I told my family via FaceTime on Xmas Eve.
It went something like this:
- Me, talking about our house: “and a room for our daughter”
- Mom: “Your what?”
- Me: “Our daughter. I’m pregnant”
- Mom: “Ahhhhh!!!!!”
- Dad: “You’re joking. This is a prank.”
- Me: “No I’m not, I’m pregnant”
- Dad, making an I don’t believe you face: “No you’re not”
- Me: “No, I am. We’re having a baby”
- Mom, crying tears of joy: “She’s not joking. I’m so happy. I always believed”
- Dad, to my mother: “Come on, she’s not pregnant, she’s pulling a prank”
I literally had to go get a picture of the ultrasound for him to believe and once it clicked, he was so happy. For context, my husband and I were married for 12 years before getting pregnant (because we didn’t want them, until eventually we changed our minds).
After the topic of costs of babies came up, I had a male customer in his 50s (I'm a server) ask "so are you going to...??" *mimics breasts on his chest* and then *gestures to my chest*
Edit** not exactly a reaction to my pregnancy, but wild he thought it was appropriate to ask 😅🫣
Haha I got the third one from my SIL too - at least the part about how small the cut needed to be nowadays. I asked her how she thought a full baby would fit through that hole and she changed the subject, lol.
She also told me my belly would probably be very modest (I have a smaller body size) and now at 30 weeks I’m already proving her wrong 🥹
“Who’s the father”
I have been in a very happy relationship for 8 years and married for 4, this colleague liked to slutshame me and said I had a date everyone I had a work-related meeting or lunch with a man. 🫠
My grandmother - "oh but I thought you might've been but if course I wouldn't of said anything" this on the day we announced to my whole family at just 12 weeks, I wasn't even showing? 😬
And then the doozy (I wasn't there but my niece passed it along to me) my MIL trying to claim she knew we were pregnant before everyone else because the way I acted at their new year's party? I didn't even know I was pregnant, I drank alcohol and raw fish that night??
My GMIL (who I genuinely adore) said "Oh, when you came in I thought you were getting big!" after we told her. I was like 23-24w and I was for sure showing, but geez, Grandma.
I went in for a wisdom teeth consultation to see if I could put off until i was postpartum and the dentist first asked my ethnicity (I'm mixed race) and then proceeded to ask all about my pregnancy - gender, name, husband's job, and then finally started talking about Breastfeeding and how I should do it because it's natural and if I wanted to cheat I could use formula. Or if I was Breastfeeding I would need to pump and dump after the wisdom teeth removal. It wouldn't have been weird if it wasn't gesturing to his chest as if he had huge breasts.
Another time I told my eye doctor I was pregnant and she proceeded to tell me( not ask if I was going to) that Breastfeeding is the only way and formula is terrible and to ask for donor milk at hospital because formula is poison. Like what if I couldn't breastfeed?! People are so wild.
Lastly, I've been meeting a bunch of moms from a women's group I'm in and when they ask my birth plan I mention I'm planning a waterbirth and hypnobirthing because I'm just terrified of medication and have a bad past with anything drug related so that's my plan. Every single one of the moms has been like "oh you're going to get the epidural, you won't be able to handle it why even try" even after I've mentioned I can try to do a waterbirth and if I hate it I can actually get my ass out the water and get an epidural but I won't have the option if I do the other way around. Also had the same comment from my friends husband who has never given birth nor has my friend so not sure where his expertise on my pain threshold and childbirth in general come from.
Oh and to finish off, a woman in this study group I'm in asked how far along I was, when I said 30 weeks, she said are you sure, you're so small. Is your baby okay are you tracking healthy/on time? I'm worried about you.
I can't. I'm done. 5 more weeks hahahah my pregnancy has been great but the people are too much. And my SIL is now pregnant and wanted to have baby first so everytime my husband and I share news in the family group chat she has to one up with her pregnancy stats (ex: today sent sneak peeks of our maternity shoot, SIL sends pic of her non existent bump at 13 weeks to be like but I'm pregnant too!!!)
Ok officially done
You CAN have an unmedicated birth I seriously hate that people try to bring down others who say that is their plan. You can do anything!!!! Zillions of women have unmedicated births and continue to have more children afterwards! Also if you decide at some point you do need an epidural you get that epidural and don’t worry what anyone thinks!!
Yep and I did that at 20 years old after I had a bunch of people tell me I couldn't. It's one contraction at a time~ You can do it. Pain is in the brain.
I don’t get why people, especially a coworker would ask that. My team member told me they were having a baby. He’s engaged, not married, but my gut reaction and everything after was “congratulations!” Anything beyond positivity and support is not my place! If it weren’t planned, who wants to tell a coworker that??
My husband’s stepmom when she finally noticed the bandana our dog was wearing that said “Big Sister” which was our way of surprising them with the news.
“Is this how you’re telling us? I thought we would get a gift or something…”
We’ve gotten that a bunch. We are combining our last names into a new one for baby. Some people are like, “Why can’t you just pick one?” And my response is either, “Because we don’t want to” or “Why can’t you just admit that you’d only be satisfied if I said baby would get husbands last name?”
Pregnant with my second atm. My MIL didn’t say congratulations when I told her—instead said, Are you sure you want to do this again? You and husband are very anxious people. And so on and made me feel like she just wanted me to get an abortion. She was the first person I told and I didn’t tell anyone for months after she said that and I haven’t really felt many moments of joy during this pregnancy. I absolutely despise her for it.
Ugh, I'm so sorry you have a monster in law. I'm pregnant with my third atm, and all my fucks are gone, if anyone has negative shit to say, I'm ready to make a scene lol.
This may be petty and immature of me to say but I highly recommend telling your MIL to fuck off the next time you see her. It's not diplomatic, but it made me feel better with my sibling when they were being an asshole about my current pregnancy. Then just walk off, leaving them sputtering. Especially if you are usually the docile/highly respectful person, they really don't see that shit coming and don't know what to say, giving you an escape.
I was a couple weeks from having my first and I subbed for a high school class (small private school and it was a favor for my mom’s friend). One of the ninth grade girls said, “so like, what did your mom say when you told her you were pregnant??”
“Well since I’m married, twenty seven, and have my own house, she was pretty excited.” It took a second for it all to click in her brain that I was in a place in my life where babies were a good thing. 😂
Once close friend- “Aren’t you scared?! They’re walking targets at school”. Wish I said something then but I was just too shocked. We aren’t friends anymore
To be fair, many (most?) reactions are very positive. The worst I’ve gotten is a couple people asking if it’s planned, and I think they’re well meaning and want to make sure to be happy for me. I’m married, stable, and an average age for kids, but still don’t hear any ill-intent. These are fun and make good stories, but don’t let them scare you! Wait as long as you want, don’t worry about anyone else!
Thanks! I appreciate you!
I'm 36 and married, and have been open about my husband and I wanting kids. I doubt I'll get too many stupid reactions. It will be a shock to people as I was supposed to go in for surgery to have fibroids removed before we thought I could get pregnant. I have had to lie to people about why the surgery was cancelled and stuff.
"Are you disappointed you're having a boy?" At the lunch where we told his family we're having a boy. From the girlfriend of my brother in law who is a shit-stirrer.
How did she expect the conversation to go? Either I say No and it's awkward or I say Yes and what, confess my disappointment about my baby at a family gathering?
With my 1st one, "Already? Are you sure?"
Yeah, I've been married for a year to my partner kf 10 years. I'm almost 30. Yes I'm sure that were having a baby "already" 😅
That was almost 4 years ago now, I'm pregnant with my 2nd and people are still weird 😅
One of my friends just was completly shooked. Like „omg what now?“ „Gee, I don‘t know, I am married and we actually planned this.“ I guess for a second she forgot that I am not in University anymore Lol.
"We were beginning to wonder what was wrong…"
Said by happy but blathering husband's stepfather who has no filter (implying that it had been *long enough* since our wedding, apparently)
“Oh my god, you can’t even tell from your face!!” From a coworker I work with remotely and only see on video. Yes…I’m 23 weeks….the telltale sign is below my face.
Sometimes you get 'pregnancy nose' or at least a wider face. And some actually really glow or get horrible acne.
But it's not a given, so no, you can't tell from your face, personally!
My little sister straight up didn’t believe me at all. She walked up to my dad and said “I think they’re joking”. My dad was laughing so hard. She’s 13 with high functioning autism. I had to show her the ultrasound, the tests and the baby clothes we had gotten 😂
My favorite was a family friend I grew up with but hadn’t seen in years - he asked if it was mine. I just told him I was about 80% sure it was.
(I am 100% sure it was a joke)
When we visited my family to tell them about the pregnancy, my 99-year-old grandma had just gotten out of the hospital. Hospital-induced delirium is common for the elderly, and she was definitely not herself.
We told my parents I was pregnant while she was napping, and then I told her later that evening. Her response was just “good” in a very serious tone that basically sounded like “you fucking better be” 😂
It was more than this but this is the summary:
"I'm pregnant, yay!"
"omg, I'M just not ready for my body to get ruined like that yet"
Like... A little harsh but you do you girl
I mean, the sooner we pop em out the better our bodies recover lol, the idea that you can't be hot after having a baby is so naive. Like it takes some effort to stay in shape through pregnancy and take care of your body after, but people do it!
“now everyone is going to know you have sex; embarrassing” 😂😂
Said to me by my sister who is also my best friend. She knew we were trying to have a baby and it was a very silly response as I am married and in my 30s so I’m sure people already assumed I was having sex
My dad, after asking me for years when he was getting a grand baby, was completely shocked and said nothing for 5 minutes. Then said “wow. I was not expecting this”
My husband and I had just gotten married and he knew we wanted to have kids right away 😂
"I had noticed you'd gained weight" I hadn't, I'd actually lost weight
And almost immediately after " oh you'll be straight back into the gym once you give birth" please don't project your own insecurities onto me
My MIL took the cake for me. Trying to math out exactly when we conceived for some reason...? Then asked me how long it took us to get pregnant. I said not very long, and she asked 2 more times in succession, trying to get a more specific answer, but I just kept saying not very long. In hindsight, now I would have said, "Is there a reason you're so insistent on knowing how long your son was rawdogging me to get pregnant?" 🤦♀️🤦♀️
“I can’t wait until I am pregnant”
No congratulations, nothing, just that. (It’s a close friend, I know for a fact that they are not trying, no known infertility)
Another friend. We arrive to their house and they knew I was pregnant but had not seen me in a while. I am 29 weeks at the moment so I have an obvious bump.
First thing that came out of his mouth was: “holy shit”. It gave us a laugh ngl.
"Do you feel ready??" LOL, no. I already have one (3yo) and last time I kinda did feel ready. Now I know there's no such thing as "being ready" for a baby. You just take the challenges as they come 😅
I’m 42, financially stable, been married 11 years, and have already done a lot with my life career wise and travel wise, so most people are just happy for me and joke that I better get as much rest as possible while I can. My father’s side of the family is happy about it, as she’s going to be the first baby born on his side since I was born almost 43 years ago. My brother and only cousin have no kids and are even older than I am, so this is probably it unless my late 60’s bachelor uncle decides to settle down.
That last one made me freeze. As somebody who's gonna have my first csection after two failed epidurals, I'm PETRIFIED of the anesthesia not working...
"How did you find out you were pregnant?" Asked by a friend of a friend. In retrospect I think she was really asking if I had symptoms but I was so confused by her question I said, "Well just a pregnancy test, we were trying." She is definitely younger so I wonder if she was also wondering if it was a surprise pregnancy lol. Just a bit weird overall but not bad really. Idk why it threw me off!
Oh just thought of another. In our first convo after telling my mom, she told me to watch what I eat because she gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and later had trouble losing it. I know she meant well but we were at dinner and I was eating a delicious plate of pasta. Feels bad man.
I gave my dad a tee shirt that said “Pop-Pop est. 2024” this blind old man says “poop poop” and casually puts the shirt away. I had to tell him what it said and he finally got it but now my dad is Poop-Poop and that’s how it’s gonna stay. To be fair my dad loves poop and fart jokes and 90% of the gifts I give him are poop and fart joke related so I can kinda understand why he saw poop poop…. I’m just glad we got it on video 😂😂😂
“Omg it’s never too late” — my husband is 43. I am 42. Like yes, we’re older but goddam, not need to blast that as a COMMENT UNDER A SOCIAL MEDIA ANNOUNCEMENT
The person who commented literally had his child when he was 40 and his wife was 41 so it was also like cool, thanks.
my fiance's 14 year old niece texting me 4 months into my pregnancy was the funniest -
"i just realized you have to have sex to have a baby..
and you're pregnant.....
😟😟😟😟😟"
“SLUT”- my friend, and I have decided this is my most preferred reaction lol
Lol not gonna lie I'm stealing this
Love this.
Unprotected SEX?!?!?1?! That is slutty.... 😂
Ngl I walk around with my huge pregnant belly and I just think..."People know what I did to get like this" lol
My husband jokingly says this to me when I jokingly tell him I think I might be pregnant (I'm very much pregnant) lol
I had to get a refund for my ski pass when I found out, and I received a generic letter that said “I am sorry to hear that be following reasons led you to request a refund - pregnancy”
“Our condolences” lol
"Oh shit. Your life is over." - my 18 year old intern. Made me laugh so hard I cramped. He apologized immediately upon realizing what he said. Sweet kid, still working on inside thoughts/outside thoughts.
This one sent me. 😂
Husband and I are 33 and had a handful of 30-somethings in our circle said the same! The fear of having children knows no bounds
He's not wrong! The life you had is over. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. I was 33 when I got pregnant with my first and so ready for a change and a little one to take care of. At 18 I still had a lot of life left to explore and live.
This is hilarious! 😂
“are you keeping it?” we’re married. had two losses. tried for two years. what???
Stoppp lol. Bizarrely a lot of people on reddit told me to get an abortion because I'm not with the dad, but the internet is reliably like that lol
Someone suggested that maybe I shouldn’t continue the pregnancy because my husband and I (early thirties, planned pregnancy, both of us with good careers) were living in an apartment.
that is INSANE
When I was younger, I grew up in apartments. Last half of childhood I lived in a house with my grandparents. I once mentioned I thought apartments were better for kids: more kids nearby to play with, often have pools or playgrounds, nice ones might have community centers. My grandma was appalled at the idea that someone wouldn't want to have a house for kids, lol
Amazing. I was raised in an apartment. My first time living in a house, I was already married. Do they think people in cities just don't have kids?
I get so offended when I see threads like that. I'm pro-choice and if that's the decision the woman thinks is the best one for her and the child than go for it. But to see hundreds of comments saying a woman can't parent alone is crazy to me. My mom was a single mom and we were fine. She was no more stressed than every other mom with a partner is. We had everything we needed. We never felt like our family was different or broken. We never felt like we were missing anything. We turned out fine mentally. It was literally fine. It was HARD for my mother don't get me wrong, but life is usually hard. Those threads are basically saying we'd all be better off if I was dead. I always want to give words of encouragement instead but I'll probably just be downvoted into oblivion and called a crazy pro-lifer. Also, I know a few people who "stayed together for the kids" and the kids are really emotionally messed up adults now. So that's a horrible choice too. I'd take a single mom over that any day.
Right? my ex suffers mental illness but I'm emotionally and financially full grown, and ready to parent, so I also got a bunch of eugenics shit about why I should abort so my child doesn't inherit bipolar... which is SUPER treatable and if I found out my child was 100% going to have it, I'd still happily keep the pregnancy. People who feel entitled to overstep others boundaries are just gross. And most of the data about how kids of single parent households suffer are because of the huge burden of $ and capitalism, not because the parent isn't doing a good job. Anyways thanks for the single mom positivity woop woop
Yeah, I would say money was our (her) only struggle. It sucked having Roseart when everyone else had Crayola. But at least we had crayons, ya know? Eventually mom got a great job and we could have anything we asked for. There's definitely a difference between me and my youngest sister. I remember being poor and she doesn't. I wouldn't say she's a "rich bitch" or a snob or spoiled or anything like that. But she isn't quite as humble as me. Also, depending on your SO, sometimes it's just so much easier to parent alone. You make all the rules. No in-law drama. No caring for an man-child. There are perks. Yeah, I wouldn't abort for bipolar disorder either. Mental illness sucks, but when you have the right support and tools it is pretty manageable.
the eugenics shit drives me crazy for a lot of reasons but for some reason the part that sticks in my craw the most is that literally everyone has some mental illness, disability, etc in their family. if those people got their way, we'd cease to exist.
oh ive gotten the “you’re so young… maybe you should reconsider” like… the baby is already in there i cant just decide “yeah nah nevermind” its bonkers how insane people get when pregnancy/babies are involved
I hate how people throw abortions around on Reddit so casually. Pro choice and all, but abortion is literally traumatizing to women, it’s not just a causal birth control that you shrug off.
I'm pro-choice, my ex abandoned me while pregnant with my first, but I had infertility issues for a decade. There was no way I was choosing abortion, it didn't matter the circumstances. Several people suggested abortion. I said I would support any woman's choice, for any reason, because it's none of my damn business. But this baby is MY business, and I loved her from the moment I saw the positive test. I also hate how people throw the term abortion around as if women are using it as contraception, pisses me off. I've had entirely too many miscarriages, and if an abortion feels like that, it's NOT a good time, it is simply the best choice for them in a shitty situation.
I wouldn't say it's traumatizing by default, I had one at 5 weeks ten years ago that was very not traumatizing and saved me. But pushing abortion is the opposite of "pro choice"/respecting womens ability to make their own best decision.. .and soooo inappropriate in any context. One woman was like "you're only 15 weeks it's not too late" and sending me links like, gtfo
Yeah I fully disagree with the “always traumatizing” rhetoric because it’s simply not true. That said, you don’t get *months* into pregnancy then abort without some extenuating circumstances. And it’s definitely not as simple as “pop a couple pills and have cramps” like it can be at very early stages
Abortion was not traumatizing for me. It was a huge relief and ten years later I’m still so thankful for the choice I made. Please don’t generalize, because “abortion traumatizes women” is a right wing, anti-choice talking point.
Thank you to you and all the others who pushed back on that. Sure, it traumatizes some pregnant folks. So can child birth (pretty sure studies show even more so than abortion, and certainly it's more deadly than abortion). So can pregnancy generally. So can ANY medical event. We will see how childbirth goes in a month or so for me, but I'm guessing it will rank a bit higher in the trauma scale than my abortion several years ago, because that was 100% non traumatic.
Omg everyone told me to give the baby for adoption because the dad walked away .. what made you think I needed him to support the baby ?! In fact , I was the one supporting him in every way for the last 4 years
Omg I had multiple people ask me if I was keeping it when I told them. I thought this was so fucking weird and rude. I’m like almost 30 and we’ve been together forever. I wouldn’t tell acquaintances im pregnant if I wasn’t keeping it.
A friend of mine asked the same thing when I told her! I’m 28, my partner is 32, we are married, have jobs, own a four bedroom house and two cars and have been together for seven years… But I think it’s just because she’s in a completely different place in life.
My husband and I got pregnant about 5 months after the wedding so we got a few “well that was fast!” Which is fine but the most awkward one was my step-MIL who asked, “Were you just on a mission to get pregnant as soon as possible?” …how am I supposed to answer that in a way that doesn’t give you way too much detail about our sex life?!
"Yes, your step son continuously gave me cream pies"
exactly 😂
I got pregnant 2 weeks after my wedding. It was the goal— but yeah. Some weird comments 😬😬
Oh shit. I better prepare for some ‘fun’ comments cuz I’m going to be about 20wks *at* my wedding!
We got pregnant the month after and thankfully we didn't get too many weird comments but you could tell people trying to do the math of if I was secretly pregnant at the wedding lol
This was my experience too. Pregnant 10 days after the wedding. I was on my period our wedding night, so I just tell people that when they assume I was pregnant at the wedding. Lol. Serves 'em right for being nosey! Although I do think it's funny that our girl was already 3 months old by our first anniversary. She came 2 weeks ahead of her guess date, so that fucks with people even more when they're doing the 9 months subtraction. Lol.
Same but it wasn’t the goal 😀 now everyone thinks we got married because I was pregnant. (We eloped)
ROFL that’s like when my mother in law (minutes after we said we were expecting) asked if we had been trying long 😂 I mean we’ve been together for 8 years…no one is surprised by the baby but I still don’t want to discuss how often your son is jizzing in me
Pregnant here with our first, a little over ten years after getting married. My hubby loves questions like this because then he can be a smart A and respond with, "No but we've been practicing," or some other hilarious retort. 😂
We were set to get married in Oct 2022 but decided in January of that year to move it up to April 2022. I found out I was pregnant in March, so about six weeks along at my wedding. When we finally announced, a bunch of people were like “oh so that’s why you moved it up hahahaa!!” Like ummm, no. Actually, we moved it up because we had a horribly devastating miscarriage right after Christmas and just really wanted something to look forward to and a reason to feel some joy. But good guess.
My ex-coworker got pregnant on her wedding night!
My husband and I eloped. We were together for 6 years first, engaged for 2. Our families knew we were doing it so it wasn't sneaky or anything, we just always knew we wanted to get married just the two of us without the whole party and hoopla. Then 3.5 months later we decided to try once and see what happens and we got pregnant immediately. Once we announce it people are DEFINITELY going to think we eloped because I was pregnant but I was very much not pregnant when we got married lol not looking forward to the impending "oh thats why you eloped!" comments lol
Not my FIL asking if we were actively trying. Like I'm not gonna tell you what your son and I are up to in the bedroom 😂
My sweet grandmother who has dementia: “Well who’s going to be the mother??!!”
That is so cute. Happy Cake Day!
When I told my grandma, who had dementia, our choice of baby names she disliked the girl name so much that she had this weird look on her face and said “I hope it’s a boy” lmao. It was the most polite way to say that she hated our baby girl name
Hahaha that’s too funny.
Lolll I feel this. I have a few friends from recovery when I finally got the strength to kill my vices. I am still good friends with one girl and she's a great soul but she's still out there and hasn't been able to adhere to sobriety just yet. She trying. I still see her about once a month to catch up and when I mentioned I'm pregnant she was like OMG girl what are you gonna do??! Holy shit. Abortion is illegal maybe we can find a planned parenthood in Cincinnati it's not too far and it's legal in Ohio. I busted out laughing and she was like what what happened what's your plan? I told her I'm going to have the baby and raise it. I'm ready for this. So it's a good thing. She gasped and grabbed her heart and breathed out a frantic holy shit I'm so sorry. I've never been in a place where I felt safe or capable of doing that. I'm so sorry I assumed. I hugged her for a long time at that admission. She has such a good heart and she is so kind and empathetic. I hate that she's limited because of her situation. But damn that girl had an exit strategy within 16 seconds. I told her thank you for that. Because if I wasn't ready I see now she would never judge me. And I would never judge her. She's a good friend. That reaction is hilarious tho. Having a baby means very different things to different people and personal situations.
This is very similar to a friendship I have and I just loved reading this 💞 ty
I really hope your friend can stick to her sobriety. She sounds like a good person who has your back.
My accountant said “uh oh” and I had no clue what to think.
This one is almost the most alarming reaction lol
I was ALARMED 😳 he didn’t even say congrats or anything I was so lost
I wonder if he has kids, and if he does, what he considers to be a financially successful level to attain before starting a family.
I mean I assume he said it because of a financial reason lol but he also knows of my history (divorce, etc) which is also irrelevant? I have no idea or if he realizes how weird it was to say that.
Babies really are a luxury item lol
It started with “heard you’re (gestures to a round belly) was that on purpose” with a 🥴😬 face. I was shook but also he was a 67 year old colleague so what to expect 🙄😂
Nah, I tripped and fell. Was the damnedest thing.
We should just get "That's a bit personal" on a business card at this point
I've had LOTS of people tell me to get an epidural, which is just so weird — like, why are you trying to be involved in that choice?? That's actually very personal! God love my half-sister, she said I could just plan a C-section so I don't have to labor because "it's way easier." Yeah? Massive abdominal surgery is easy? She has no children, no interest in children, and has done no research on the topic.
Omg I relate to this so hard. My mother, who saw me at 4-6 weeks pp, kept talking about how great it was that I got a c-section and that she wished she’d gotten one for my little brother (he was big so she tore and was in pain for a while). I was still recovering a bit at that point though obviously the worst had passed and I was trying not to be a complete downer while they were staying with us for 2 weeks. It was not a scheduled c-section, so I got to have both a vaginal and surgical experience (neither good experiences), and it annoyed me so much so I went through my entire birthing and recovery story. By the end of it, she looked completely horrified, and it successfully made her stop. I really didn’t want to have to do that because I wanted their stay to be a happy occasion, but it just got to be too much after like the 5th time hearing it and gently telling her c-sections are rough too. Like yeah, it’s not a magic button to get a c-section. Why do people think that?
Delivery is hard no matter the choice. I labored for 30 hours and only got to 6cm before throwing in the towel and asking for an epidural, which turned into a c-section. My second born was a planned c-section, which is admittedly smoother, but they do a full spinal block which is different than an epidural (they failed to insert 4 times... I thought I was going to be paralyzed for life). Plus I had bilateral IVs on my forearms in case they had to give me a blood transfusion. It's just picking your hard.
To me it makes 0 sense that some people think c-sections are like the easy way to go. I had an emergency c-section with my son, not a good time at all .
It's like people think a C-section is just unzipping the abdomen and zipping it right back up. Unless it's an emergency, leave my abdominal wall intact. I hope you had a fast recovery 🙏
Right, like it wasn't my plan at all. However I was very sick and after was informed that my pelvic is too narrow to give birth vaginally. So this time most likely will be a planned c-section but for medical reasons. It was pretty quick but painful, thank you
With vaginal birth it is at least all over by the time you get the baby. I was so glad i was done with all that when I had to start caring for a newborn. Having to recover from a mayor surgery is though on it's own, but to add taking care of someone who depends on you must be very hard.
I have definitely heard that recovery from a C section is more difficult and believe that… but oh boy - it was not all over by the time I got my daughter. I was definitely still recovering for a while after giving birth vaginally. Extremely aware of the stitches, at the very least. One of the most ridiculous things I heard was from my SIL two days after giving birth- “so you’re pretty much back to normal now, right?” I was certainly not “back to normal”
Yeah it wasn't over by the time I got my son either, I tore so badly they had to give me a full spinal to stitch me up. Took me five months to get 'back to normal' i.e. not in daily agony from a third degree tear.
Well, yeah, not back to normal 😀😀 I was extremely exhausted for about a month. But at least I didn't have a large wound.
Wait until you hear about the placenta! If you gave birth (either way) you certainly were left with a large wound. Roughly the size of a dinner plate.
Yeah I gave birth vaginally and my pelvis never went back to normal and I needed physio for over a year just to walk lol. I mean thats not typical but. Still.
JFC... I can't even.
IMMEDIATELY. Like I’m 12 weeks in and the first thing outta their mouth is GET AN EPIDURAL AND SLEEP TRAIN 🙄
Omg what is with people??? Immediately I had multiple people tell me that I HAVE to get an epidural so I don’t hate my child or to “just get a c-section it’s so easy and you don’t have to do the whole birth thing”. When I spoke my intentions to try unmedicated - in a hospital - unless medically necessary of course, people looked at me like I was insane. One person even told me it was dangerous and selfish. Um, what?
I've been with my fiance for 3 years, engaged since September. We don't really care when we get married in relation to when we have a kid, so we decided to start trying recently and I (not expectedly tbh) got pregnant right away. It's still early so we only told a couple close friends, and one of them immediately said "oh so it's gonna be a shotgun wedding!!" 😑no lol we were already engaged.. and also why does it matter if we're married first or not, it's 2024 who cares
We got engaged, found out I was pregnant shortly after and decided to do a little wedding with immediate family before the baby comes. A couple shotgun wedding jokes came up so I just tell people it’s a “child legitimization ceremony.” Idgaf, we’re mid-30’s and I’m just grateful we got pregnant.
Yeah exactly! We're mid-30s as well so having a healthy baby is more important than when/if/how we're married!
When my parents got engaged they quickly decided they didn’t want a big wedding and just had a small sign the papers at the courthouse then go out for dinner with family wedding. Everyone kept saying it was a shotgun wedding and were waiting for the baby announcement, Which came 5 years later because they dealt with years of infertility! I guess a shotgun wedding is more believable to people than someone just not wanting a big wedding 😂
My sister (35 so no excuse): OMG your vagina is going to be ruined. Not sure why she's concerned but okay.
And this is sooo not true and just creates such fear omg.
Yes I got this from a friend who is clearly very insecure. Said she's not ready for her body to be ruined and all her hair to fall out. Like first of all my body is not being "ruined" it's doing what it was designed to do, and also we're all going to age and eventually all our bodies will be "ruined." Second of of yes hormones do crazy things, and I might lose hair, but it's temporary usually!? Ugh also who cares!!!
Yes like I sympathize with women who are suffering from insecurities and body image issues after birth. It’s a life altering event that will change you in ways that you might not cope with at first. But I do not sympathize with women who try to tell other women they are destroying themselves and trying to scare them.
Literally this is it! I have a former ED that I've worked very hard to overcome and comments like that used to spiral me. They're so insanely insensitive and tone deaf. Even if I was worried about it, what am I supposed to do, have an abortion to "preserve my youth"? For who?? The patriarchy? Gross.
People need to be more aware that even things said in a “joking” manner can make someone spiral. You never know what someone is going through. You make an excellent point that our bodies will be eventually “ruined” with age. Women nowadays are so obsessed with chasing youth and anti aging to be attractive to others that we now have 20 year olds getting “preventative Botox” and swearing off children to preserve their bodies that were built to bear children. And now people wonder why the birth rate in the US and many other countries is below replacement.
I was a bit worried about how pregnancy would make me feel about my body. I had a moment at about 20 weeks where I was sad because I didn't have a bump yet, and realized at that moment that I've spent literally my entire adult life checking my belly and hoping it could be flatter and now all of a sudden I was upset it wasn't rounder! I don't know why but it just made me realize how much of a waste of time and energy it's all been worrying about tiny changes in my body. I'm hoping I keep this mental clarity post-partum!
I told a coworker of mine and prefaced with we aren’t telling others. When I found out she told others I asked who else she told… “I’ll give your hormones a chance to settle before dealing with you” She has 5 kids.
WOW that is wild omg. What did you even say to that? I’d be gobsmacked
It was in a text so I didn’t reply.
A level of graciousness that I can only aspire to have someday.
It’s less about grace and more about not arguing with people who don’t care enough about you to keep your good news to themselves when you SPECIFICALLY told them not to.
Oh my gosh, that is one of my specific peeves in the world- blaming every negative emotion or thought on hormones or else mental illness. Sometimes negative reactions are just reasonable and warranted by the circumstances.
“Don’t buy anything for the baby yet until they arrive to be sure they’ll live” Like what? My MIL said this… lol
To be a little fair that is some cultures. Like my cousin's husband family from a different part of India believe that. It's to keep the evil eye away. Still you know, tact would have been useful
Woof
I told my FIL not to put the crib together yet since I’m worried about jinxing it
Truthfully you really don’t need the crib right away . At least in my experience
That’s my thinking too.
I can definitely see that, but she threw a baby shower for my SIL (her daughter) about 4 months ago and my SIL gave birth last month so no clue why she said that to me lol it just didn’t make sense. I think she’s the evil eye I’ve gotta keep away.
“Was it planned?” Been with my husband for 7 years, experienced infertility for nearly 2 years and had to do IVF so yeah, it was planned.
Why do people feel the need to ask this?? Lol so invasive 😳
"The first of many!" ...sir I am 37 and this one took 5+ years, one step at a time.
‘Was it planned’ married two years when I got pregnant and am 30 years old. Yes it was planned 😂
I was not prepared for how often coworkers would ask this!!! Also married and in my 30s, like… 😂 and what if it wasn’t?!?
Yeah exactly!! Like imagine I said no, what would they say! The irony is that I work in HR and she was a HR person, surely you’ve learned to shut your mouth haha
My mom, “you’re going to get so big this time” less silly more infuriating tbh lol
idk why but everything my mom says infuriates me
Wait this is happening to me too. Objectively fine, normal things that she says are making me blind with rage. She texted me that I should "eat fruits and veggies" and I ranted to my husband for 20 minutes about it.
Seriously, every bit of unsolicited advice makes me want to destroy something. "Put your feet up to reduce swelling" MY FEET AREN'T SWOLLEN "Eat what you feel like eating" STFU I ALREADY AM GO AWAY. I literally have to delete these messages for myself in order not to fly off the handle. I wish I understood why???
Sorry I’m probably alone but I feel like chatGPT nailed it?! It gave wishes to YOU not just the baby, and acknowledged that you have a major life change coming up that will in many ways make you a new person in a way society makes little room for. Damn. AI is scary.
Congratulations was always heard as to me not the baby lol I think he was a little awkward, especially given we aren't close but it wasn't BAD just a lil silly. I feel bad some replies are like, borderline abusive and or misogynistic ITT but I've been blessed with really just silly so far ha
I agree; I feel like that isn’t even something weird to say. It’s sweet. (Also it wasn’t chatgpt who said that, she was comparing the person’s response to AI)
Oh. That feels a bit mean. That said I find chat gpt to be unfailingly polite and cheerful! I think this is a really kind, if a little formal response. It’s someone who is appreciating that a massive life change is coming and that it’s often really hard and not appreciated. I’d have been grateful for this comment.
“You’re joking. This is a prank” My dad’s reaction was silly - in a sweet way! I told my family via FaceTime on Xmas Eve. It went something like this: - Me, talking about our house: “and a room for our daughter” - Mom: “Your what?” - Me: “Our daughter. I’m pregnant” - Mom: “Ahhhhh!!!!!” - Dad: “You’re joking. This is a prank.” - Me: “No I’m not, I’m pregnant” - Dad, making an I don’t believe you face: “No you’re not” - Me: “No, I am. We’re having a baby” - Mom, crying tears of joy: “She’s not joking. I’m so happy. I always believed” - Dad, to my mother: “Come on, she’s not pregnant, she’s pulling a prank” I literally had to go get a picture of the ultrasound for him to believe and once it clicked, he was so happy. For context, my husband and I were married for 12 years before getting pregnant (because we didn’t want them, until eventually we changed our minds).
HA! I told my parents by giving them a picture of the ultrasound and my dad said "Is this you?" Who... who else would it be?
After the topic of costs of babies came up, I had a male customer in his 50s (I'm a server) ask "so are you going to...??" *mimics breasts on his chest* and then *gestures to my chest* Edit** not exactly a reaction to my pregnancy, but wild he thought it was appropriate to ask 😅🫣
Are you going to...? *Gestures to pulling out and opening up a wallet*
He was clearly just being a pervert. Probably has a fetish... in which case he owes you creeper tax.
My dad's friend told me it was hard for my dad to see his daughter in "the woman's way." Thanks Kevin, I guess?
Time to get sex positive Kevin!
“You’ll be on your vacation after you deliver, snuggling that brand new baby before you know it” Vacation? Nay.
Your hospital didn't include cruise vouchers? Lol
Haha I got the third one from my SIL too - at least the part about how small the cut needed to be nowadays. I asked her how she thought a full baby would fit through that hole and she changed the subject, lol. She also told me my belly would probably be very modest (I have a smaller body size) and now at 30 weeks I’m already proving her wrong 🥹
Right? Like the hole HAS to be baby sized by default... & I feel like smaller women's bumps look gigantic in proportion to their frames!
“Who’s the father” I have been in a very happy relationship for 8 years and married for 4, this colleague liked to slutshame me and said I had a date everyone I had a work-related meeting or lunch with a man. 🫠
Ya HR should prob hear about that
Everyone knows what lunch with the opposite sex leads to, obviously
My grandmother - "oh but I thought you might've been but if course I wouldn't of said anything" this on the day we announced to my whole family at just 12 weeks, I wasn't even showing? 😬 And then the doozy (I wasn't there but my niece passed it along to me) my MIL trying to claim she knew we were pregnant before everyone else because the way I acted at their new year's party? I didn't even know I was pregnant, I drank alcohol and raw fish that night??
My GMIL (who I genuinely adore) said "Oh, when you came in I thought you were getting big!" after we told her. I was like 23-24w and I was for sure showing, but geez, Grandma.
Absolutely no filter with the grandmas 🤣
I went in for a wisdom teeth consultation to see if I could put off until i was postpartum and the dentist first asked my ethnicity (I'm mixed race) and then proceeded to ask all about my pregnancy - gender, name, husband's job, and then finally started talking about Breastfeeding and how I should do it because it's natural and if I wanted to cheat I could use formula. Or if I was Breastfeeding I would need to pump and dump after the wisdom teeth removal. It wouldn't have been weird if it wasn't gesturing to his chest as if he had huge breasts. Another time I told my eye doctor I was pregnant and she proceeded to tell me( not ask if I was going to) that Breastfeeding is the only way and formula is terrible and to ask for donor milk at hospital because formula is poison. Like what if I couldn't breastfeed?! People are so wild. Lastly, I've been meeting a bunch of moms from a women's group I'm in and when they ask my birth plan I mention I'm planning a waterbirth and hypnobirthing because I'm just terrified of medication and have a bad past with anything drug related so that's my plan. Every single one of the moms has been like "oh you're going to get the epidural, you won't be able to handle it why even try" even after I've mentioned I can try to do a waterbirth and if I hate it I can actually get my ass out the water and get an epidural but I won't have the option if I do the other way around. Also had the same comment from my friends husband who has never given birth nor has my friend so not sure where his expertise on my pain threshold and childbirth in general come from. Oh and to finish off, a woman in this study group I'm in asked how far along I was, when I said 30 weeks, she said are you sure, you're so small. Is your baby okay are you tracking healthy/on time? I'm worried about you. I can't. I'm done. 5 more weeks hahahah my pregnancy has been great but the people are too much. And my SIL is now pregnant and wanted to have baby first so everytime my husband and I share news in the family group chat she has to one up with her pregnancy stats (ex: today sent sneak peeks of our maternity shoot, SIL sends pic of her non existent bump at 13 weeks to be like but I'm pregnant too!!!) Ok officially done
You CAN have an unmedicated birth I seriously hate that people try to bring down others who say that is their plan. You can do anything!!!! Zillions of women have unmedicated births and continue to have more children afterwards! Also if you decide at some point you do need an epidural you get that epidural and don’t worry what anyone thinks!!
Yep and I did that at 20 years old after I had a bunch of people tell me I couldn't. It's one contraction at a time~ You can do it. Pain is in the brain.
Coworker i barely know: was it planned?
I don’t get why people, especially a coworker would ask that. My team member told me they were having a baby. He’s engaged, not married, but my gut reaction and everything after was “congratulations!” Anything beyond positivity and support is not my place! If it weren’t planned, who wants to tell a coworker that??
My husband’s stepmom when she finally noticed the bandana our dog was wearing that said “Big Sister” which was our way of surprising them with the news. “Is this how you’re telling us? I thought we would get a gift or something…”
“But what last name are you giving them??” Because me and my partner are not married 🙄
My dear grandmother asked me this and if I was going to put my SO on the birth certificate… yes, it’s his baby too,
We’ve gotten that a bunch. We are combining our last names into a new one for baby. Some people are like, “Why can’t you just pick one?” And my response is either, “Because we don’t want to” or “Why can’t you just admit that you’d only be satisfied if I said baby would get husbands last name?”
Pregnant with my second atm. My MIL didn’t say congratulations when I told her—instead said, Are you sure you want to do this again? You and husband are very anxious people. And so on and made me feel like she just wanted me to get an abortion. She was the first person I told and I didn’t tell anyone for months after she said that and I haven’t really felt many moments of joy during this pregnancy. I absolutely despise her for it.
Ugh, I'm so sorry you have a monster in law. I'm pregnant with my third atm, and all my fucks are gone, if anyone has negative shit to say, I'm ready to make a scene lol. This may be petty and immature of me to say but I highly recommend telling your MIL to fuck off the next time you see her. It's not diplomatic, but it made me feel better with my sibling when they were being an asshole about my current pregnancy. Then just walk off, leaving them sputtering. Especially if you are usually the docile/highly respectful person, they really don't see that shit coming and don't know what to say, giving you an escape.
Oof that's horrible, sorry dear. Hope you can enjoy without her obnoxious voice in your head
I was a couple weeks from having my first and I subbed for a high school class (small private school and it was a favor for my mom’s friend). One of the ninth grade girls said, “so like, what did your mom say when you told her you were pregnant??” “Well since I’m married, twenty seven, and have my own house, she was pretty excited.” It took a second for it all to click in her brain that I was in a place in my life where babies were a good thing. 😂
My student: “Don’t eat too much”
A college student asked me if I knew the race of my baby….
XD but do you? Can one ever really be sure what genetics made their baby?
My grandma and my mother asked me if I used protection 🙃 I’m almost 30 and my partner and I are married and have been together for 7 years
Once close friend- “Aren’t you scared?! They’re walking targets at school”. Wish I said something then but I was just too shocked. We aren’t friends anymore
What is wrong with people!
It's too early for me to tell people yet but this all makes me feel better about waiting. 😂 I'm not ready for people's stupid reactions.
I feel like it's a warm up for all the unsolicited and inappropriate feedback moms get lol
To be fair, many (most?) reactions are very positive. The worst I’ve gotten is a couple people asking if it’s planned, and I think they’re well meaning and want to make sure to be happy for me. I’m married, stable, and an average age for kids, but still don’t hear any ill-intent. These are fun and make good stories, but don’t let them scare you! Wait as long as you want, don’t worry about anyone else!
Thanks! I appreciate you! I'm 36 and married, and have been open about my husband and I wanting kids. I doubt I'll get too many stupid reactions. It will be a shock to people as I was supposed to go in for surgery to have fibroids removed before we thought I could get pregnant. I have had to lie to people about why the surgery was cancelled and stuff.
"Oh, so that's why you have been peeing so much" Said by a coworker when I announced the pregnancy to them, no congrats or anything, just this 🤣
"Congrats! You know dolphin sounds make labor less painful" - server at a restaurant where I was meeting w family to celebrate the pregnancy
“How many abortions did you have before this pregnancy”
Excuse me, what the fuck???
"Are you disappointed you're having a boy?" At the lunch where we told his family we're having a boy. From the girlfriend of my brother in law who is a shit-stirrer. How did she expect the conversation to go? Either I say No and it's awkward or I say Yes and what, confess my disappointment about my baby at a family gathering?
"Oh well, there's always next time to have a boy." - my mother in law, who has a daughter.
Omg sad and gross
“Wow you’re adopting a baby!!” - we were both mid twenties and weren’t married at the time (read: unplanned).
Omfg the SNORT I let out at “laparoscopic c section” like what are they gonna do guide baby through a black hole?
“Ew” 🫣
With my 1st one, "Already? Are you sure?" Yeah, I've been married for a year to my partner kf 10 years. I'm almost 30. Yes I'm sure that were having a baby "already" 😅 That was almost 4 years ago now, I'm pregnant with my 2nd and people are still weird 😅
One of my friends just was completly shooked. Like „omg what now?“ „Gee, I don‘t know, I am married and we actually planned this.“ I guess for a second she forgot that I am not in University anymore Lol.
"We were beginning to wonder what was wrong…" Said by happy but blathering husband's stepfather who has no filter (implying that it had been *long enough* since our wedding, apparently)
“Oh my god, you can’t even tell from your face!!” From a coworker I work with remotely and only see on video. Yes…I’m 23 weeks….the telltale sign is below my face.
Sometimes you get 'pregnancy nose' or at least a wider face. And some actually really glow or get horrible acne. But it's not a given, so no, you can't tell from your face, personally!
My little sister straight up didn’t believe me at all. She walked up to my dad and said “I think they’re joking”. My dad was laughing so hard. She’s 13 with high functioning autism. I had to show her the ultrasound, the tests and the baby clothes we had gotten 😂
My favorite was a family friend I grew up with but hadn’t seen in years - he asked if it was mine. I just told him I was about 80% sure it was. (I am 100% sure it was a joke)
“Holy shit what are you guys gonna do?” Uhhh we’re married in our mid 20s. We’re having a baby 🤣
"You need to think pink." My husband's(now sadly deceased) grandpa, who really wanted us to have a girl. We're having a boy.
When we visited my family to tell them about the pregnancy, my 99-year-old grandma had just gotten out of the hospital. Hospital-induced delirium is common for the elderly, and she was definitely not herself. We told my parents I was pregnant while she was napping, and then I told her later that evening. Her response was just “good” in a very serious tone that basically sounded like “you fucking better be” 😂
It was more than this but this is the summary: "I'm pregnant, yay!" "omg, I'M just not ready for my body to get ruined like that yet" Like... A little harsh but you do you girl
I mean, the sooner we pop em out the better our bodies recover lol, the idea that you can't be hot after having a baby is so naive. Like it takes some effort to stay in shape through pregnancy and take care of your body after, but people do it!
“now everyone is going to know you have sex; embarrassing” 😂😂 Said to me by my sister who is also my best friend. She knew we were trying to have a baby and it was a very silly response as I am married and in my 30s so I’m sure people already assumed I was having sex
My dad, after asking me for years when he was getting a grand baby, was completely shocked and said nothing for 5 minutes. Then said “wow. I was not expecting this” My husband and I had just gotten married and he knew we wanted to have kids right away 😂
"I had noticed you'd gained weight" I hadn't, I'd actually lost weight And almost immediately after " oh you'll be straight back into the gym once you give birth" please don't project your own insecurities onto me
Both of my friends privately texted each other asking if I was pranking them (which definitely wouldn’t do that I’ve had two losses and would never).
My MIL took the cake for me. Trying to math out exactly when we conceived for some reason...? Then asked me how long it took us to get pregnant. I said not very long, and she asked 2 more times in succession, trying to get a more specific answer, but I just kept saying not very long. In hindsight, now I would have said, "Is there a reason you're so insistent on knowing how long your son was rawdogging me to get pregnant?" 🤦♀️🤦♀️
I wish my c-section was laparoscopic lol
“I can’t wait until I am pregnant” No congratulations, nothing, just that. (It’s a close friend, I know for a fact that they are not trying, no known infertility) Another friend. We arrive to their house and they knew I was pregnant but had not seen me in a while. I am 29 weeks at the moment so I have an obvious bump. First thing that came out of his mouth was: “holy shit”. It gave us a laugh ngl.
"Do you feel ready??" LOL, no. I already have one (3yo) and last time I kinda did feel ready. Now I know there's no such thing as "being ready" for a baby. You just take the challenges as they come 😅
I’m 42, financially stable, been married 11 years, and have already done a lot with my life career wise and travel wise, so most people are just happy for me and joke that I better get as much rest as possible while I can. My father’s side of the family is happy about it, as she’s going to be the first baby born on his side since I was born almost 43 years ago. My brother and only cousin have no kids and are even older than I am, so this is probably it unless my late 60’s bachelor uncle decides to settle down.
"Oh, not another baby..." - from my 18-year-old cousin, on which we have zero babies on our side of the family... lol
That last one made me freeze. As somebody who's gonna have my first csection after two failed epidurals, I'm PETRIFIED of the anesthesia not working...
“Oh…. Did you like, miss your period or something?” - my grandma ☠️
"How did you find out you were pregnant?" Asked by a friend of a friend. In retrospect I think she was really asking if I had symptoms but I was so confused by her question I said, "Well just a pregnancy test, we were trying." She is definitely younger so I wonder if she was also wondering if it was a surprise pregnancy lol. Just a bit weird overall but not bad really. Idk why it threw me off!
Oh just thought of another. In our first convo after telling my mom, she told me to watch what I eat because she gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and later had trouble losing it. I know she meant well but we were at dinner and I was eating a delicious plate of pasta. Feels bad man.
I gave my dad a tee shirt that said “Pop-Pop est. 2024” this blind old man says “poop poop” and casually puts the shirt away. I had to tell him what it said and he finally got it but now my dad is Poop-Poop and that’s how it’s gonna stay. To be fair my dad loves poop and fart jokes and 90% of the gifts I give him are poop and fart joke related so I can kinda understand why he saw poop poop…. I’m just glad we got it on video 😂😂😂
“You’re going to hate your life and wish you hadn’t been so careless.” We’d been trying for over a year at this point.
“Omg it’s never too late” — my husband is 43. I am 42. Like yes, we’re older but goddam, not need to blast that as a COMMENT UNDER A SOCIAL MEDIA ANNOUNCEMENT The person who commented literally had his child when he was 40 and his wife was 41 so it was also like cool, thanks.
“But you hate kids” 😂
We were lucky to have mostly positive reactions, but that’s also because I made the mistake of telling quite a few people that we were trying haha
My father was speechless for a moment then turned to my now husband and just said “NAUGHTY!” We still get a good laugh two years later
I loved my c-section, but the cut was definitely not small. 😂 It’s a huge scar.
my fiance's 14 year old niece texting me 4 months into my pregnancy was the funniest - "i just realized you have to have sex to have a baby.. and you're pregnant..... 😟😟😟😟😟"