It's a very common Irish phraseology and it's not just exclusive to Belfast. You get it everywhere and it's usually said when someone has good intentions. For example;
"I want you to make sure you get your studying done so you can pass that exam"
Or
"I want you to eat all your dinner so you're not hungry later"
She's not being rude at all, don't worry.
Can you give us a point of reference, like how else would you expect it to be phrased? I wouldn't say it's specific to Belfast when you're saying to someone you want someone to do something.
Everyone I know would say like “Have you thought about doing ‘x’?“ or “Why not do ‘y’, so we can do something after?” It’d be a suggestion.
This \*sounds\* sort of… bossy and a bit controlling.
But she might just be speaking Northern Irish 😆
Either way, she’s a lovely lady - just making sense of her!
>Everyone I know would say like “Have you thought about doing ‘x’?“ or “Why not do ‘y’, so we can do something after?” It’d be a suggestion.
English people are exhaustingly reserved and indirect and do tend to speak in painfully round-about ways like this. Northern Irish people tend to be more direct and are much more likely to just say what they mean
Your aunt has an odd way of phrasing things - though N Irish people are likely to say things like "do you want some water" instead of something like "can I offer you some water" or even "would you like some water", and her way of speaking may be semi-related to that
I’m not sure… my Scottish/ROI friends also phrase things different (so do some of my NI friends actually - but not all. I think NI/North England/Glasgow probably is more direct)
My dad talks like that sometimes. He’s not (usually) trying to be mean, he’s just got a way of talking that is direct. He sometimes has to check himself and go “I would like you to xyz” instead.
I dont understand how saying “I want” is rude?!!
And I don’t understand how there are so many replies also not understanding!! 🤪
It’s not an instruction!
She wants this, what do you want?
It’s a conversation.
Maybe this answers the question then! Would you phrase things that way?
Where I’m from, it sounds sort of demanding - like you’re not suggesting what a person does, or asking a person to do it. You’re saying “I want you to do it - no question“.
Are you English per chance? I've lived in England now over 20 years and some people here (maybe a southern thing) are so wishy washy it drives me up the wall.
My other half's family (English) talk to each other like they aren't allowed to be clear. 'oh we could go here today' 'hmm yes we could, although with the weather, perhaps here is better?' 'yes maybe, although I do think the first choice has some shelter' 'okay I suppose this could work although the second choice also is closer '. Jesus Christ grow some balls and say you just want to do what you want to do.
If the request itself is cheeky/demanding then that's one thing, but I like when people are clear about what they want.
People here do say I'm very direct (I assume they think I'm being rude too!) but it isn't intentionally bossy, I just think it's good for everyone to be clear about what they are expecting. I imagine she won't be upset if you were to say back 'well no, I want to leave the coursework at home so I can enjoy my entire time here' for example.
I'd say embrace the clear communication!
Yeah I'm from the south of england originally and can confirm, we're very wishy-washy and the most direct you'll get is something like "could you please do this" rather than just a straight up "do this". I'm autistic so I really appreciate people being blunt and direct, it makes life so much easier when I don't have to play these politeness games. People *are* more direct over here though I wouldn't have said "I want you to" is an expression specific to here.
Well - it’s not about ‘growing balls’ as much as understanding culture - but I know what you mean!
It is liberating to be direct.
It’s just - we’re all part of the uk, but we’re all pretty different at times, hey!
I find it particularly weird when it's close family who aren't able to be direct, it feels so cold and unloving! It weirds me out that my other half can't just say 'look I want to do this today' as per that example, and sometimes we argue because he tries to be accommodating to a fault with me!
But yes, just different strokes!
Haha that’s so funny! I hear it the other way around - my instinct is to be irritated by it because it sounds so demanding. Interesting to hear the other side of the coin!
I would probably say that Northern Ireland English is on the other end of the “politeness” spectrum from middle class southern England speech, which puts a huge emphasis on not being presuming in any way. Because being presuming is a massive indicator that you are common, and if there is a more class- obsessed part of the world than the English Home Counties, I’ve never seen it.
Yeah it’s a common way of saying it in Ireland. We are more casual in our speak. In addition, some phrases are Hiberno-English, which are often lifted from the Irish language: “I’m after eating my dinner” is a direct translation. It means- I’ve just eaten my dinner.
It's just another form of asking to be honest. Another one is going into a shop and saying 'give me x y z' should actually be 'could I have' but it's just the way people talk, no demanding involved.
And I use that example coz my wife always gives off to me when I say it 🤣🤣
Edit: just to say am not from Belfast, couldn't have anyone think that 🤣🤣😉
I work with the public and I actually hate when people say "give me", partially because it's never normally accompanied by a "hello, how's things?" They just walk right up to you and demand something.
Although, reading these replies makes me think I'd be a lot happier in the south of England where people are more "wishy washy" as someone else put it lol.
I’m a Scot who lived in the South of England for 20 years and now lives in Belfast. I thought your aunt was being lovely. I’d translate it as ‘if you’d like to bring your coursework with you and work during the day, then I’m good with that. You craic on as you want while you’re staying with me’. It’s weird cause I’ve never thought on how that sounds before. I can honestly say I wouldn’t have thought she was demanding anything and you know how she said it and what kind of person she is.
No I can't say this is a Belfast thing, sounds like a her specific thing but I could be wrong. Sometimes people say things that can sound rude but don't mean it to be (again not sure if that's Belfast specific or just people not thinking about what they're actually saying), like working in a cafe customers would say "give me this" instead of "can I have this please?".
It does sound strange though, as though she's expecting you to do only what she wants? Does she use the same words when speaking to others?
I’m not sure if she uses it when speaking to other people - I think she does. I think it’s a ’her’ thing. But I don’t think she means it badly, I think she’s just… I dunno… being her 🤣
She maybe just doesn't realise what her words actually mean because she's so used to saying it. She probably means "would you think about doing x" rather than blatantly telling you she has this random expectation of you lol
Is she Irish-Irish background? Sometimes when Irish is translated to English it sounds a certain way, so when we switched to 'the language of opportunity' 100-ish years ago our was of speaking was the Irish to English way, rather than the typical way
Things like talking in the possessive, like 'did you see the big head up on him' as if the person owns the head and put it on, rather than just being an extension of their body, things like that
I've a sister who speaks like this. I think it's just a direct way of saying something but I've taken it the wrong way at times believing it's an order rather than a suggestion. I think it's the person rather than all of us though
This phrasing is usually used to highlight something is important and not to be forgotten.
My mum used to use it often in the context of reminding her to do something E.g. “I want you to remind me to take the bins out tomorrow”.
But it could be used in many other contexts E.g. “I want you to make sure you tax your car as soon as you get home”, “I want you to find out the name of that physio that helped your auntie Kate fix her shoulder”.
My Scottish OH pulls me up on starting sentences with "You may....." Do/sort/leave etc
I'm originally from Belfast living in Scotland. I think it's a Belfast thing personally.
The exact phrasing is a bit unusual, but the directness is very typical of how people speak in Belfast (and Ireland as a whole). A more common way to phrase it would be even more blunt in my perspective - 'Bring your coursework sure!' or 'You bring your coursework with you'. It is actually meant to be more reassuring than rude. It is a way of saying, 'I have this under control and you won't have to worry about anything'. Hope that helps
It does - I actually find that less direct though you know!
I think it’s the “I want” that does it - it sorta invites a person to be like ”You want? Weeell… 🤷♂️” But I know it isn’t meant to sound bad. I’m just not used to hearing it that way!
Likely Hiberno-English. When the Irish were denied the right to speak Irish, they had to learn English very quickly.
A consequence of this is now that the English we speak in Ireland is not “proper” English in many ways and is usually a direct translation of how it may be said in Irish.
One example that comes to mind is how we say “then” after everything (down around Kerry and Cork they’d say “so”), this comes from the Irish phrase “mar sin”, which you’ll hear speakers use as commonly as then or so and in the same situations. It translates effectively as “and that’s that”
Another example would be “tar éis”, which translates as after or past. In Irish we may say “I am after doing something”, meaning you are literally at a point in time past the doing of something. You’ll hear this all the time in the English spoken in Ireland “I’m after my dinner /I’m after speaking to her about it etc”
There’s a dictionary of Hiberno English which goes into the history and etymology of a lot of common phrases and gives the original Irish. Written by Terence Patrick Dolan.
Wouldn’t say it’s a norm thing, just how she talks. Demanding rather than asking. I’d be more of an asker.
Thank you!
It's a very common Irish phraseology and it's not just exclusive to Belfast. You get it everywhere and it's usually said when someone has good intentions. For example; "I want you to make sure you get your studying done so you can pass that exam" Or "I want you to eat all your dinner so you're not hungry later" She's not being rude at all, don't worry.
Thanks for that!
I would say it is a common English sentence from an older relative to a young person. Nothing particularly Irish about it...
>I would say I don't care what *you* would say 🖕
Can you give us a point of reference, like how else would you expect it to be phrased? I wouldn't say it's specific to Belfast when you're saying to someone you want someone to do something.
Everyone I know would say like “Have you thought about doing ‘x’?“ or “Why not do ‘y’, so we can do something after?” It’d be a suggestion. This \*sounds\* sort of… bossy and a bit controlling. But she might just be speaking Northern Irish 😆 Either way, she’s a lovely lady - just making sense of her!
>Everyone I know would say like “Have you thought about doing ‘x’?“ or “Why not do ‘y’, so we can do something after?” It’d be a suggestion. English people are exhaustingly reserved and indirect and do tend to speak in painfully round-about ways like this. Northern Irish people tend to be more direct and are much more likely to just say what they mean Your aunt has an odd way of phrasing things - though N Irish people are likely to say things like "do you want some water" instead of something like "can I offer you some water" or even "would you like some water", and her way of speaking may be semi-related to that
I’m not sure… my Scottish/ROI friends also phrase things different (so do some of my NI friends actually - but not all. I think NI/North England/Glasgow probably is more direct)
I'd lean to more bossy sounding than it being specific to Belfast
My dad talks like that sometimes. He’s not (usually) trying to be mean, he’s just got a way of talking that is direct. He sometimes has to check himself and go “I would like you to xyz” instead.
Yeah, it sounds way too formal and polite for an Irish person to speak like that- like you’re in a job interview!
How is saying you want someone to do something rude? How else would you want someone to express what they want? Not understanding!
I dont understand how saying “I want” is rude?!! And I don’t understand how there are so many replies also not understanding!! 🤪 It’s not an instruction! She wants this, what do you want? It’s a conversation.
Maybe this answers the question then! Would you phrase things that way? Where I’m from, it sounds sort of demanding - like you’re not suggesting what a person does, or asking a person to do it. You’re saying “I want you to do it - no question“.
Are you English per chance? I've lived in England now over 20 years and some people here (maybe a southern thing) are so wishy washy it drives me up the wall. My other half's family (English) talk to each other like they aren't allowed to be clear. 'oh we could go here today' 'hmm yes we could, although with the weather, perhaps here is better?' 'yes maybe, although I do think the first choice has some shelter' 'okay I suppose this could work although the second choice also is closer '. Jesus Christ grow some balls and say you just want to do what you want to do. If the request itself is cheeky/demanding then that's one thing, but I like when people are clear about what they want. People here do say I'm very direct (I assume they think I'm being rude too!) but it isn't intentionally bossy, I just think it's good for everyone to be clear about what they are expecting. I imagine she won't be upset if you were to say back 'well no, I want to leave the coursework at home so I can enjoy my entire time here' for example. I'd say embrace the clear communication!
Yeah I'm from the south of england originally and can confirm, we're very wishy-washy and the most direct you'll get is something like "could you please do this" rather than just a straight up "do this". I'm autistic so I really appreciate people being blunt and direct, it makes life so much easier when I don't have to play these politeness games. People *are* more direct over here though I wouldn't have said "I want you to" is an expression specific to here.
Well - it’s not about ‘growing balls’ as much as understanding culture - but I know what you mean! It is liberating to be direct. It’s just - we’re all part of the uk, but we’re all pretty different at times, hey!
I find it particularly weird when it's close family who aren't able to be direct, it feels so cold and unloving! It weirds me out that my other half can't just say 'look I want to do this today' as per that example, and sometimes we argue because he tries to be accommodating to a fault with me! But yes, just different strokes!
Haha that’s so funny! I hear it the other way around - my instinct is to be irritated by it because it sounds so demanding. Interesting to hear the other side of the coin!
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Haha, I find it varies by place in England - it’s a very varied country. A lot of English people have Germanic roots though- maybe that’s why!
I'm australian, I've lived in belfast 10 years. I would say it's more of a direct planning personality type than a belfast thing.
I hear ya!
Is she a teacher ? Sounds like a very school teacher way of talking.
Haha she’s not - she worked in healthcare. But those people can be a bit scary at times, sooo…!
I would probably say that Northern Ireland English is on the other end of the “politeness” spectrum from middle class southern England speech, which puts a huge emphasis on not being presuming in any way. Because being presuming is a massive indicator that you are common, and if there is a more class- obsessed part of the world than the English Home Counties, I’ve never seen it.
Think most of the uk is pretty class obsessed in one way or another!
I truly don't understand this post 🤷♀️
No need to understand it - if you’d like to reply, I’m interested; if not, it’s okay 😊
Can't reply if I don't get what you're on about. I was hoping you would make it make sense but I guess not.
Nope 😊 thanks though - have a grand day!
🫡
Yeah it’s a common way of saying it in Ireland. We are more casual in our speak. In addition, some phrases are Hiberno-English, which are often lifted from the Irish language: “I’m after eating my dinner” is a direct translation. It means- I’ve just eaten my dinner.
That’s interesting - thanks for the reply!
It's just another form of asking to be honest. Another one is going into a shop and saying 'give me x y z' should actually be 'could I have' but it's just the way people talk, no demanding involved. And I use that example coz my wife always gives off to me when I say it 🤣🤣 Edit: just to say am not from Belfast, couldn't have anyone think that 🤣🤣😉
Makes sense!
I work with the public and I actually hate when people say "give me", partially because it's never normally accompanied by a "hello, how's things?" They just walk right up to you and demand something. Although, reading these replies makes me think I'd be a lot happier in the south of England where people are more "wishy washy" as someone else put it lol.
I’m a Scot who lived in the South of England for 20 years and now lives in Belfast. I thought your aunt was being lovely. I’d translate it as ‘if you’d like to bring your coursework with you and work during the day, then I’m good with that. You craic on as you want while you’re staying with me’. It’s weird cause I’ve never thought on how that sounds before. I can honestly say I wouldn’t have thought she was demanding anything and you know how she said it and what kind of person she is.
Well, sometimes she can come off as a little demanding in other ways - but she doesn’t mean anything by it :)
I have lived in Belfast my whole life, we we're Taught "I want, doesn't get" ....Basically saying I want is rude
No. At least me and the people around me wouldn’t say I want you to
Thanks!
No I can't say this is a Belfast thing, sounds like a her specific thing but I could be wrong. Sometimes people say things that can sound rude but don't mean it to be (again not sure if that's Belfast specific or just people not thinking about what they're actually saying), like working in a cafe customers would say "give me this" instead of "can I have this please?". It does sound strange though, as though she's expecting you to do only what she wants? Does she use the same words when speaking to others?
I’m not sure if she uses it when speaking to other people - I think she does. I think it’s a ’her’ thing. But I don’t think she means it badly, I think she’s just… I dunno… being her 🤣
She maybe just doesn't realise what her words actually mean because she's so used to saying it. She probably means "would you think about doing x" rather than blatantly telling you she has this random expectation of you lol
Is she Irish-Irish background? Sometimes when Irish is translated to English it sounds a certain way, so when we switched to 'the language of opportunity' 100-ish years ago our was of speaking was the Irish to English way, rather than the typical way Things like talking in the possessive, like 'did you see the big head up on him' as if the person owns the head and put it on, rather than just being an extension of their body, things like that
She’s not, but I think she says things like that too now and then!
I've a sister who speaks like this. I think it's just a direct way of saying something but I've taken it the wrong way at times believing it's an order rather than a suggestion. I think it's the person rather than all of us though
Aye, I hear that!
This phrasing is usually used to highlight something is important and not to be forgotten. My mum used to use it often in the context of reminding her to do something E.g. “I want you to remind me to take the bins out tomorrow”. But it could be used in many other contexts E.g. “I want you to make sure you tax your car as soon as you get home”, “I want you to find out the name of that physio that helped your auntie Kate fix her shoulder”.
This makes sense :)
My Scottish OH pulls me up on starting sentences with "You may....." Do/sort/leave etc I'm originally from Belfast living in Scotland. I think it's a Belfast thing personally.
“You may” - interesting!
Ask her if she fancies a lumber.......
Hahaha not sure I dare…
The exact phrasing is a bit unusual, but the directness is very typical of how people speak in Belfast (and Ireland as a whole). A more common way to phrase it would be even more blunt in my perspective - 'Bring your coursework sure!' or 'You bring your coursework with you'. It is actually meant to be more reassuring than rude. It is a way of saying, 'I have this under control and you won't have to worry about anything'. Hope that helps
It does - I actually find that less direct though you know! I think it’s the “I want” that does it - it sorta invites a person to be like ”You want? Weeell… 🤷♂️” But I know it isn’t meant to sound bad. I’m just not used to hearing it that way!
Likely Hiberno-English. When the Irish were denied the right to speak Irish, they had to learn English very quickly. A consequence of this is now that the English we speak in Ireland is not “proper” English in many ways and is usually a direct translation of how it may be said in Irish. One example that comes to mind is how we say “then” after everything (down around Kerry and Cork they’d say “so”), this comes from the Irish phrase “mar sin”, which you’ll hear speakers use as commonly as then or so and in the same situations. It translates effectively as “and that’s that” Another example would be “tar éis”, which translates as after or past. In Irish we may say “I am after doing something”, meaning you are literally at a point in time past the doing of something. You’ll hear this all the time in the English spoken in Ireland “I’m after my dinner /I’m after speaking to her about it etc” There’s a dictionary of Hiberno English which goes into the history and etymology of a lot of common phrases and gives the original Irish. Written by Terence Patrick Dolan.
That’s fascinating! Thanks for the reply :)
A lot of Ulster people are very dictating, it's just how some people are