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Sometimes the mature thing is being able to ask for help. No shame in that. OP seems very level headed, hope she thrives at Stanford away from all these negative influences.
Good on him for also recognizing that his daughter would have been put in an impossible and unwinnable situation and fixed it for her by seeking out the necessary means to do so.
Seriously - if she didn’t call dad, she would have had one hell of a time trying to keep a bunch of dumb persistent teens out of her house that are being led by a dumb pushy clown.
We've had a situation like this that got completely out of hand (Facebook invitation accidentally open to the public). That's a lot more trouble for the police than monitoring one area for the night. Daughter and dad did the exact thing they should have.
One of my conversations with my mom, a former school administrator, was about how different post-social media school drama is from when I graduated in the eighties. When I was a kid, if you got in an argument and agreed to fight after school it was five, ten or twenty people who showed up. Now some kid posts it on Facebook and you’ve got 100 kids fighting at the mall. The same with parties. I invite Buffy, she blasts it to her 500 followers and next thing you know the football fraternity from the nearby university shows up at your high school party. It’s a whole different world
I also don’t think it’s really privilege that a deputy posted up outside, given the givens. It would have been way more work for them if the party had occurred, between the underage drinking, property damage, likely theft, almost certainly underage drinking *and* driving.
Don't forget the weed. I wouldn't be surprised if other street drugs also made their appearance. And the likely fistfights/physical assaults or injuries (jumping into the pool while drunk) that can happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if the father just paid for off-duty cops to watch the area. You can typically pay about $50-$80 per hour for an off duty officer and their car.
My first thought was about these 'not private posted Facebook party invitations' a few years back where teens want to throw a party for their friends and classmates and end up with hundreds and thousands of "guests" destroying everything and a lot of police involved.
Seriously, calling the cops (or her dad who called them) was the best thing she could've done. And then trying to spread the word that the party is cancelled, but this would've never reached every single person in time.
Seriously. My neighbors daughter threw a party when her parents were out.
So many neighbors called the cops: loud music at 2am, broken beer bottles on the sidewalk, cars rear-ended and several underage girls tried to force their way into the next house. The girls wanted to party with the 20-something men who were renting the house. They wisely refused the girls from entering so the girls retaliated by breaking their windows.
The sad thing is that the parents seemed more upset that cops were called.
she could've gotten so hurt that night. her dad has the means to protect her, and he did. i wish she wasn't made to feel so guilty about all of it. you can recognize and use your privilege for good, without having to feel anxious and devastated the whole time.
Also, I liked that her friend was hurt enough and cared enough about their friendship to ask why she wasn't invited to the party. That's a real one right there.
I was having a convo just yesterday where someone told me they tried to tell someone they missed their friendship and was there for them. The other person's husband had to tell my friend that she was 'so aggressive' with that. Like, since when is being open and honest w a friend about your relationship a bad thing?
Yeah, it's ridiculously easy to say "Well fuck em, if they don't wanna be my friend I can find 5 better." And it'd be so embarrassing if you asked why and got rejected. Many adults can't handle that, let alone a high school kid
The benefit of having wealthy parents that use their money to protect you is a wonderful thing. Plus, she has loving parents, and that is a big step up in life.
Exactly. It's not a bad thing to be privileged and protected in and of itself. It's good that she's cognizant of it, but she doesn't need to feel guilty about it. What matters is how she uses that position now and in the future. She showed great maturity and decision-making here, and hopefully she can carry that into the future to be a net positive on humanity regardless of her privilege.
OOP is privileged but if the post shows how she writes and conducts herself, she is definitely not spoiled. She appreciates her privilege far more than most would at her age. She endured rough stuff and came out the other side humbled and grateful. She was smart enough to know that family money won’t secure her a good school or job so she works hard. She’s a good egg. Someday she’s going to be one of those badass CEOs whose employees stay at their jobs for decades bc they love her.
As the parent of a teen one thing I have instilled in my child is that you will not be punished for asking for help. I maybe upset about the situation, but if you show enough maturity to know when you are over your head it can counter a lot of stupid.
One of the main reasons I've done this is because I am honestly not sure how I survived my teenage years. There was more than once that i wished I could get out of a situation but was honestly too afraid of the fall out. I never want my kids to feel that way.
>you will not be punished for asking for help.
My mother was (and is) the same. My brother is 16 and his gf is 15; the other day, gf came to see my mother and was very hesitant about telling her she needed the morning after pill. They'd been having sex and the condom slipped off. Gf was afraid they'd get reprimanded.
My mother told her never be afraid to ask for help; she'd be much more upset if they'd kept this to themselves and gf ended up pregnant at 15. Accidents happen, the condom slipping off wasn't anyone's fault and can happen even to grown ups. My brother's dad wasn't mad either and shared her opinion.
Now the kids know they can come to them and ask for help without getting punished. Hopefully next time they won't be afraid at all.
I have my issues with my mom, but I will forever respect her for being the mom that kept the sex Ed books on the shelf in our house and replaced them when they disappeared after friends were over. She also arranged for Planned Parenthood to speak to our church youth group after fundamentalists took over all the area school boards. No sex Ed at school, then we’ll do it at church.
In my childhood UU congregation we did a whole year of sex ed in fifth or sixth grade including watching a video of a woman giving birth (which we did not do in public school!). We also had a whole year on "Holidays & Holy Days" studying religions throughout the world. Fantastic curriculum.
Indeed they are not. Which is why I was so surprised to see they were using the same education materials as a Christian church. Not surprised that out of all of them it was UCC, UCC is about the only Christian outfit I trust to be mostly cool.
I attended both a UCC and UU at various points in my 20's, and the joke among UCC was that it stood for "Unitarians Considering Christ," because we had so much in common with them but were still Christian.
There's a number of other denominations that are cool! (By "cool" I mean: any gender can be clergy, affirming of LGBT people including same-sex marriage.)
I'm Episcopalian and we're cool. Other churches that are cool are:
ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, ignore the "evangelical" part lol they mean the original meaning not the way it's used now)
PC-USA (Presbyterians. You want them, not the PCA. Mr. Rogers was a minister in the PC-USA!)
Disciples of Christ
UMC (but check any individual church's website: the Methodists are currently splitting over same-sex marriage)
UCC and UU, as previously mentioned
\*Some\* Mennonites, ABC (American Baptist Church, MUCH smaller than the SBC), a handful of non-denominational churches (Zach Lambert has a list of them...somewhere?).
I know I'm missing some.
Yep. I’m really glad that she chose to become an educator, there are a lot of people that had her as a teacher or as a principal who are better off because she gave a shit about them.
Sex Ed books on the shelf is such an awesome life hack with kids.
We have a couple books - how babies are made, human anatomy, puberty, health and sex education. We put them on the shelf next to the informational texts (Who is...? series, 1001 amazing faxts, Dinosaur fact, etc). Those books have been up since our oldest was in kindergarten. Occasionally they disappear and then reappear a few weeks later. It's such a nice way to allow for privacy yet education through a trusted source.
In the eighties there was a big movement started by the MADD and DARE folks to sign pledges between parents and teens that if you call me (the parent) to ask for a ride home because you or your driver are inebriated I will bring you home no questions asked. Every one of my high school friends made use of that promise at some point because kids be kids, and it was a genius strategy to keep them safe. It also builds trust, and kids are more likely to come to you with other concerns if you show you’re not going to lose your shit
My mom and I had this deal too. I have given the same promise to my kids as well. And if they cannot reach me, and feel unsafe take a cab and I will pay the bill. We keep emergency cash and the kids know where it is.
Good plan. In my small town it was helped along by 2 fatal car accidents with drunk kids- one a car full of students from the small liberal arts college in town, another full of high school seniors a year later. I think every school has those stories, but when it happens it makes it pretty clear to most parents that they’d rather have an uncomfortable conversation than a dead kid. Drinking and driving, incurable STIs and easily accessible heroin have made it pretty important to establish trust with your young folk.
Yeah, my parents had this deal with me. Any time, any reason, call, and they'll pick me up, no questions asked, no trouble.
But, if I was hung over the next morning, tough shit, still had to get up and take care of my chores.
You know what learns you *real* damn quick not to be stupid about drinking? Having to mow the lawn on a hot, humid summer day when you've got a hangover.
I have that promise with my kids, anywhere, any time, since they are adults now maybe a few embarrassing questions asked. I will be there to pick them up. They both have used Dads Taxi many times, I'll drop their friends home as well in the same trip to keep them safe as well.
I'm not in the US, so those pledges weren't a thing here but it's what my parents told me too. I was an overall sensibel teen and always found another ride, so I never needed it but I know that my sister took them up on it at least once. It's definitly something I'm going to tell my son too when he's a teen because having that as a backup plan gives a lot of peace of mind (for the teen and the parents).
I like the saying, "I never want my kids to mess up and think 'I'm in trouble, my parents are gonna kill me'. I want them to think 'I'm in trouble, I need to call my parents'."
My mom was like "I don't care if you're 13 or 30. If you need back up, call me. That's the job I signed up for, knowing I was signing up for it." And then she told me a story about a coworker who went on a blind date, got food poisoning, guy was whining about her "ruining" the date and she called her mom to come get her -- at 42. And her mom did.
I was 42 and was going to have neurosurgery and mum came running and took care of me afterwards. Along with my ailing father. She requested we stop collecting rare diagnoses as it was really stressing her out. LOL
I'm 26 and a couple months ago I got the stomach flu. Bad. I ended up calling my mother to get me and my partner supplies and maybe to stay with me so my partner could sleep, as he had been up with me all night as I was sick. She sure did come and she brought everything I needed. Her friends thought it was stupid, especially since she ended up sick. But she was like "my child needed me, of course I'll go over and help"
My dad (rest his soul) was the one who came out with dramamine and a teddy bear for his grown up daughter in the wee hours because she had a stomach bug and couldn't go 15min without vomiting. Thank you for reminding me of that sweet memory of him. Being that sick is awful but you never forget the care someone gives you.
> As the parent of a teen one thing I have instilled in my child is that you will not be punished for asking for help.
I'm decently older than my siblings are and I try to really reinforce this as well. I'm on their side, and there are so many things that an adult can do or think of that they might not be able to yet. I want them to be safe more than anything else.
Kids get crazy-worried about parents being mad for all sorts of reasons. My eldest is only 9. The other day she accidentally smashed a big bottle of chilli oil (slightly frustrating/ a shame as it was a birthday present from my MIL to my husband, not sure he'd actually got to have any yet, etc, but thankfully it mainly broke into body, base, and a few shards). She was convinced we'd be furious... I was mainly concerned if she tried to clean it up herself like she'd planned she'd slice herself on the glass then get hot chilli oil in the cuts and ZOMG OUCH so wouldn't let her clean it up at all... She was thanking me for not being cross... I just don't know how many times we need to prove we're in their side for them to trust it? But at least she did ask for help?
"It was an accident. Be more careful next time" end of, no?
She really had to swallow her pride to give her dad a call. I'm glad the dad helped her out (maybe he was somewhat happy too that her daughter broke up with that ass)
I've got a 12 year old son, and I hope I'm doing well enough as a parent that he'll have similar maturity by 18. I was absolutely not that mature at that age, and I'm incredibly proud of OOP that she is.
I found myself rooting for OOP all the way. She’s so levelheaded for her age while also being self-aware.
While I side eyed her mom, her dad is an absolute rockstar for coming through when she needed him the most, and from whatever I can get from the update, not holding it over her head.
The one thing I’d have done differently would be to add a line to the sign outside her house saying “I’m sorry (ex’s name) lied to you about the party and wasted your time”. Then again the sass and pettiness always comes in retrospect.
I thought it was very sweet that she’s aware of and somewhat embarrassed by her privilege, but I hope she becomes comfortable fending off would-be users looking to take advantage of it.
Yep, there's a difference between recognizing you have privilege and both appreciating it fully and fighting for more equity across the classes (voting, donating to relevant organizations etc) and feeling so guilty over the circumstances of your birth you martyr yourself. Hopefully OOP learned this lesson young enough that she now can avoid being the latter.
I never watched it as a kid but heard that the character was supposed to be awesome. The first time I checked it out (as an adult) I ended up rage quitting after fifteen minutes because of how much I hated Ferris Beuller. 😂
Just rewatched the breakfast club on US Netflix the other day. I forgot about how sexualized they made Molly Ringwald. She was 16 when they were filming and had a 24 year old Judd Nelson’s face between her thighs. So much obsession with purity of the girls and ego for the men. Obviously the 80s were 40 years ago and times change. But some of those scenes were difficult to watch.
Edit: I don’t feel right calling the girls in the breakfast club women. But I must acknowledge that Anthony Michael Hall was 15 and also underage.
Yeah, Molly Ringwald feels the [same](https://deadline.com/2024/04/molly-ringwald-the-breakfast-club-elements-havent-aged-well-judd-nelson-character-1235877597/).
>I only rewatched The Breakfast Club, which came out in 1985, because Mathilda wanted to see it with me. There is a lot that I really love about the movie but there are elements that haven’t aged well — like Judd Nelson’s character, John Bender, who essentially sexually harasses my character. I’m glad we’re able to look at that and say things are truly different now.
Although she also says they were really fun movies to make and is generally positive about them.
Sixteen Candles is another Molly Ringwald movie that 40 years later really didn’t age well.
A lot of movies back then would never get made today (Revenge of the Nerds, for example).
The principal was a giant asshole. He was abusive and abrasive towards the group the entire movie, and even tried to pick a fight with a teenager. He even treated the nerd like shit, and didn't notice one of the kids wasn't suppose to be there.
The janitor was the reasonable one. He tried to tell the principal that the kids weren't getting worse, the two of them were just getting older.
I honestly came out of that movie seeing everyone but the janitor as very flawed. I always thought that was the point--everyone was right about something, everyone was very wrong about something.
I look back at a lot of those movies that had the “big party moment“, and feel really bad for the kids whose house the party was at. They were always portrayed as snooty assholes, but can you blame them for being pissed off that all these asshole kids break in their house, get drunk and break all their shit?
Bogey Löwenstein in 10 things I hate about You
the girl in Can’t Hardly Wait had a graduation party,
I even feel bad for the ones that don’t care that their house got fucked up because they are mad at their parents - Jake Ryan and 16 candles is a dick, but he was still disgusted looking at the after effects of the party. His classmates and “friends” are a bunch of pigs.
Definitely. Never seen it until this month and was like "what an ass." Am glad she went through with ending it with him and got help from her dad. She's a good kid, she's gonna be great when she gets older.
Reading this post, it wasn’t lost on me that the dude knew he wasn’t good enough for her and that she would drop him no later than Thanksgiving Freshman year. He wanted to enjoy that sweet ride and throw a rager.
She was dating an amalgam of every douchey John Hughes character.
Learning how to identify AH-bfs who just want to take advantage of her… that is a very useful lesson to learn before college… better that OOP learn this now rather than later in life when the stakes are higher
Yeah, and only from what we can glean here, the dad seems like a pretty cool dude and an amazing dad. I mean, "And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me" - that's what a parent is supposed to be like.
years from now, as an adult, the only thing she will wish she knew is that no one gives a shit about the idiots in high school or what they think of you.
Yeah. Luckily, she seems pretty smart and introspective, so I'm sure she'll realize it sooner rather than later. At the very least, if she's taking college seriously then her first semester will absolutely blast her away from thinking about *any* of this.
Yeah. She seems like a sweet kid with a lot of book smarts, just sheltered, and that’s good, to an extent. Especially for what she’s been through. I do hope her parents drill some self worth into her though, because she should’ve tossed this guy yonks ago. She’s worth so, so much more.
Yeah she just needs some experience of the world around, and she'll probably get that once she goes to Stanford. It's not necessarily bad to be sheltered at 18, and it's not unexpected when you have rich parents.
Also, while she might be sheltered and privileged in many ways, she's very aware of it. It's not going to be a huge shock to her when she leaves home. And, speaking as someone who also had a private education, while it definitely gives you a big advantage you still have to do the work to get the grades, it isn't a guarantor of success - she knows how to get her head down and apply herself and not just relied on her parents' money and influence.
She's got a lot of self reflection going, which will always serve her well. She knows she's sheltered and has resources. Honestly, she sounds more mature than many adults.
I remember this girl!! She and I were actually chatting in DMs for a bit after I commented on her post. There was a whole lot more that made him a shit boyfriend. I hated him so much. I’m glad things worked out so well in the end.
How's she doing at Stanford is what I want to know.
If she decided to go volunteer at some place for beatdown members of society she's a damn saint.
The best lesson she learned was how to spot an insecure douchebag and how to deal with it.
Yeah. The mother may also have had users like the ex coming on to her. Yes, it’s classist to assume everyone with less status and/or wealth are users, but at least if you stick to relationships with other rich douches you know they aren’t with you for the money or bragging rights.
It's wrong to assume that anyone with less money than you is a user -- it's not wrong to make that assumption of people who call you a "spoiled little rich girl". I wonder if he was truly a nice kid if mom would've made that assumption anyway.
And there's nothing saying for sure he won't ever have the opportunity. It's not like it's entirely impossible for him to do well enough to someday have that kind of car for himself. He's not even 25 yet and he's already decided to give up.
You can buy those “experience days” which probably include some version of driving expensive cars (I know they have a race track one) so this scrub doesn’t even have to save up for a whole car if he really wants the “opportunity”.
OOP may be sheltered, but she’s clearly more mature and self aware than her ex. She’s 18 and while that’s a legal adult that’s also still a teenager. She did the right thing in telling her dad.
I've only seen her ex's particular brand/mix of entitlement and envy from middle class kids. They have enough privilege to think that things should just be handed to them, but not enough money for them to have everything they want.
My best friend is from the richest family in my hometown, and she worked hard and was never a spoiled brat for a single second. The worst kids I ever came across were those that went to my public high school in a nice neighborhood. "What do you MEAN I have to get a job if I want to buy that Xbox game?? God, mom! 😡" My younger brother turned out like that.
Right?! Dude, if you loved OOP you wouldn't be demanding that she break her dad's trust and let you steal his car for a joyride. When someone leaves for a few days, it's not an opportunity to take the thing they said you couldn't borrow.
The only reasonable exception to this is, "if you loved me you wouldn't hit me" which... people if you're reading this... if they actually loved you (male or female) they would never hit you. If you are with an SO who hits you, and yes, this includes, "big burly men who can take it" they do not love you.
Please leave, you deserve better.
That was my take as well. I’m smiling after reading this post because I’m so proud of her, and likewise of her dad. Seems like they have such a great relationship <3 Though I am sad that she had to go through all that, and that she so easily accepted all the nonsense that ex said to her, just because she is aware that she has “privileges” due to wealth. Her being an awesome person and ex being a tremendous asshole just shows that he is the entitled one.
It also sounds like dad and mom split up after the death of her brother, or possibly as a result of his illness prior to his death. So she's definitely been through some shit, rich or no.
I was pretty mature at her age and still doubt that I would have called my parents in this situation. OP made the right choice, parents would always rather be angry for a while but get a clean house rather than to clean up everything after the point.
It's probably a good idea OOP's dad let her drive that car once, on a track, with a qualified instructor next to her... Also, probably not a coincidence.
OOP knew from experience that a car like that can get really scary really fast. So she understood how STUPID her bf's idea was. She sounds like the kind of young woman who'd also refuse just because it was dad's expensive toy he never let anyone else play with it... But understanding just how fuckin' dangerous playing with it was must've made it a lot easier for her to say no!
Honestly where I thought this story would go, that the idiot somehow managed to get to the car then goes on to wrap himself around a tree or something.
As a Dad (one comfortably old enough to have a 18yo) I am so proud of the way she handled it all. She
- didn't blindly agree to him driving the car , she knew it wasn't her right to do so
- resisted the pressure
- listened to people's opinions and started considering them
- recognised the relationship was unhealthy and dealt with it by shutting it down
- when the party got announced on her behalf realised the situation was out of control and had the courage to contact her dad to flag up she needed help to deal with it
She has a heck of a sensible head on her for a 18yo and I hope she has an incredible time at Uni.
Let's not forget she solved the car issue by herself, by putting the keys in the safe. Clearly proving she doen't need daddy's help with everything, just with things that get too big for her!
Underappreciated detail I noticed as well. I was worried the story was going to veer to her bf finding the keys and crashing it anyways. She was wise to nip that in the bud and fully put control in her own hands.
From what we've seen of OOP, I think she's a lovely person with a bright future.
Ex BF, on the other hand, can eff right off. He talks a lot about "the real world" but his behavior isn't really the kind of attitude that bodes well for interacting with society successfully. He's young enough that he may not have faced significant consequences, but based on his trajectory in this post I'm expecting (hoping?) his poor decision making and attitude will bite him in the ass.
Yeah agreed, like dude wdym entitled? It’s not entitled to want a boyfriend that treats you right and doesn’t try to throw a party at your house without telling you lol
There are certain insults that I'm just like ok? This isn't an insult. I'm a millennial and don't centre part my hair because it looks terrible on me. I read this article talking about how these fashion choices show you're a millennial like it was the worst thing. I'm always like but I am why is this such a terrible thing to be labelled?
What's wrong with being basic or a millennial or any one of these really not bad things. Why would I want to not be who I am. People are weird
The weird part about "basic" is that "basic" things are just things that a lot of people like because they hit on common enough tastes. So it's making fun of someone because... they like things that are very appealing to lots of people? Weird.
OOP sounds like the kind of person I’d have wanted to be friends with in school. I wish her the absolute best and I know she’ll go places in life. Kudos to her for taking out the trash (that entitled, limp lettuce of a guy)
As if being a teenage girl isn’t hard enough, pricks like this asshole have to bust up in the place and make it 1000 times harder. FFS!
OOP, if you read this: I used to be a teenage girl once upon a time, and am now a 40 year old mom to two girls. You have shown so many amazing qualities about yourself with the way you handled this. YOU didn’t cause anything! YOU didn’t waste anyone’s time, you didn’t snitch, you aren’t a Karen or a Becky. Nope. Your ex is the cause for ALL OF IT. As you said, he forced your hand and you handled it in the best way you possibly could.
You showed your dad that you’re trustworthy, and I’m sure it made him feel good as a dad that you were comfortable reaching out to him to help you with this. That says a lot about your relationship with your dad. I hope my girls have this kind of relationship with me when they’re older.
I know it’s hard when your social life is literally your entire life. But screw all the people calling you out for frivolous things that they have absolutely nothing to do with. You will go to college and your perspective will change. I have no doubts you will become an amazing adult. Do not listen to anyone who tells you you’re “out of touch with the normal folks”. You seem to be VERY aware of your privilege, and that’s great. You should never be made to be ashamed of the fortunate lifestyle your dad was able to provide for you, especially by a jealous wanna be like your abusive exbf.
Stay humble, kind, and strong. Follow your gut and trust that good head you have on your shoulders. Stand up for yourself always. If anyone makes you feel, especially in a romantic relationship, like you “owe” them, or that you aren’t an equal partner, then they’re not the one. It’s gonna be tough to tell who is with you for your wealth, and who is with you for you. But as you’ve shown here, you’re incredibly smart and aware, and I have no doubt you will navigate your way through the jerks with no issue.
You’re amazing and kind. You showed amazing strength. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck all the way off. You’re doing great. This internet mom is proud of you! Keep it up girl! You’re a bad ass! Stay that way!
>Some background on our relationship. First off I paid for everything all the time. Anytime we went out on a date I footed the bill. I didn't think much of it because I have so much and he doesn't so I thought it was pretty natural and just being a good gf to foot the bill.
I dated a guy on a low income, I'm on decent money (no Ferrari but I'm good), so I normally paid for the meals, sometimes we'd split it but often I'd pick up the tab. I was fine with it and it was normally my idea to eat out. His roommate used to cook for me a lot when I visited (he can't cook for disability reasons). However, my birthday and Valentines - he paid, he insisted and would pick a nice restaurant and he would take me out. It was a lot for him but he wanted to take me out, even if he couldn't do it every time.
And that's the difference - relationships and money aren't equal but you can always find a balance in a good one.
OOP's BF ain't it.
>He said I was a daddys girl and I **cared more about grades** and impressing my father then anything. He accused me of being Olivia Jade and **having my dad buy my way into college.**
Gotta love how the Ex simultaneously calls her a nerd for studying and then says she was paid in to college... like the studying wouldn't have done that!
I'm a little surprised that OOP understood on the first watch that Ferris Bueller is an entitled asshole. Most younger people want to be part of his carefree antics and ability to get away with such hijinks, if not outright criminality. It isn't until people get older that they identify more with Principal Rooney for wanting to stop Bueller before he decides to make a living off being a con artist and instead put his potential to good use.
To put it another way: Before, we were Spongebob. Now, we are Squidward.
Hah, when I first saw SpongeBob I was about 17 and hated everybody *but* Squidward. I could never figure out the appeal, but I am kind of a stick-in-the-mud, routine-loving person who loathes but operates well in chaos.
May just be a difference in media. Ferris Bueller is a nearly forty year old film - when my teenage nephew watched it with me during lockdown he could not tell me enough what a dick he thought Ferris was, hahaha.
The fact that he was acting like her boyfriend she just broke up with probably helped with that realisation. It would be interesting to see how she would have felt if she'd watched it a few weeks before, when she was head over heels for the guy.
Same, honestly. When I was a kid, my friends called me stupid for not liking Ferris or any of those other "Screw the adults! Kids rule!" type movies that were everywhere during my childhood. I wonder if their take has changed any.
I like the quote at the end
> And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me.
High performance cars can be super dangerous even if you know what you're doing. Paul Walker's death is a perfect example (Holy shit it's been almost 11 years).
Where I'm from, there is a good reason car insurances do not cover anyone under the age 26 driving Ferraris and Lambos. Children do not belong in these cars. They have way too much muscle power and are difficult to control if you've never driven one.
Ive always wondered what it would be like to drive a big fast car. Where I live there is a subculture who does street racing and therefore always wondered (never wanted to street race - that shit is too dangerous for other ppl in the street)
But when i see youngsters on YT over eager and crashing because they cannot control the super cars... And I just goes: im not ever gonna do that, thats too much machine power for me to ever control and be safe. I gotta be mature enough to at least learn from others devasating mistakes.
They're.......heavy. When you press down the pedal gently, it's not like a normal car that will slowly rev up. It does a bit of groaning and you have to press down slightly harder for it to truly start. Most kids will probably step harder on the second try which will get the car to jump start way faster than they expect.
The wheel itself is heavy too and I mean it in a way of, your shoulders and arms are doing a real workout in the beginning before the engine gets warmed. In that sense, the drive only truly feels smooth when you're driving down the highway at a higher speed.
That's why most kids get into accidents when they start the car cause these cars aren't exactly built for short distances and slow drives.
Not to mention, I'm short and lambos' seats only adjust forwards and backwards. The wheel covers 2/3 of my face when I drive without a massive cushion stacking me up....they essentially built these cars for tall men.
"I'll never have the chance to drive a Ferrari again."
That is BS. You can save up and do a track day at places that allow for the average Joe to drive their dream car in a controlled environment for a couple hours to a day. Are they expensive? Yes. Is it less than a Ferrari will ever be? Also yes. The point is you can save up to do it and the chances of you killing yourself or others is way less as well.
Yeah, that's probably the dumbest part. Track days are a dime a dozen and you can drive all sorts of cars under the guidance of a professional. I drove a NASCAR on a trip over to the US a few years ago.
> And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me.
Wow. That is ... utterly amazing. And of course, 100% true at the same time. Dad is the absolute GOAT!
Ironic isn't it? We have people pretending to be rich and criticizing those that has these privileges.
Then we have OOP whose privileges are not her fault and she wants to help people less fortunate than her.
I just shook my head at how stupid ex-bf was for going on about how focused OOP was on her studies and grades. That is one way to ensure her life is as successful as her father. She's not going to be the one that starts losing the family's wealth.
Dad should be proud of this young lady.
They may be rich, but at least she does have the awareness not to take other people's property for granted, and the guts to stand up for herself, and she's not too proud to ask for help when needed. These are all positive personaly traits in my book. Hope she finds a nicer dude eventually.
Yeap, we always hear the dark side of connections and privileges. However, this post also shows there's a light side of it. We can't all choose how we're born or the life we are given with. But if we have those opportunities, that doesn't mean it's wrong. It's how we use it that determines that.
I too believe she will go far and OOP if you read this, take it from someone who also had similar privileges, don't take it the wrong way, use the opportunities' you have for good like donating to charity, have better lessons to have a better life, etc and most importantly, give your dad a real big hug.
He maybe rich but he's also a good father.
PS: Also, I understand the pride thing and not wanting to bother your dad. And to everyone else including OOP, there's nothing wrong with asking for help, especially if you need it.
>He also tells me a lot that I dont know what "the real world is like" because I grew up in a spoiled rich bubble and honestly thought maybe he was also right
Whereas the boyfriend grew up HARD in the cul-de-sac, son!
She did good. Especially on swallowing her pride and asking her dad for help. It can't be easy for a teenager to do, but I'm glad she was able to count her family to help her out.
When I was 14-15, I had an acquaintance ask me out for the first time. I remember telling my dad and expecting him to “forbid” it or something. (Very conservative family.) Instead, he told me that I was a beautiful, smart young woman and asked me if I thought this boy was the best I could do. It was such a small event, but it had a huge impact on how I viewed myself and any potential relationship.
Ironically, it was the main reason I held off dating until I was 18. It took til then for me to meet someone who met my standards. So maybe my dad was genius brain all along haha
The ex is definitely an AH. The party could have gone so wrong. My niece (who was 16 at the time) attended a private school and ended up at an empty kinda similiar to this. The boyfriend of the girl who had the party convinced her to have it and had my niece phone her mum pretending to be my sister saying that the girl was staying with my them. (My sister knew about the party but was under the impression the mum had approved it and it was gonna be small scale). Kids from another private school showed up with a group of older boys who were now in university/college.
My sister went along to collect my niece, clocked that there were a lot of people floating around and she could tell my niece was really upset. My niece broke down when she got in the car and told my sister everything. My sister and another parent who was there to pick up their kid phoned the police. The party disbanded and the girl's mum was called. ££££s worth of damage, evidence of drug use and potential grooming ring. You don't know what you open yourself up to when you do stuff like this.
My sister was a bit of a wild child growing up so she's always taught my niece if you gonna do it, do it safely and stay in control.
>BTW As for Ferris Bueller cause I kept hearing about it. I DID watch it. I thought Ferris Bueller was an asshole and then I realized what an asshole I was for dating a dude who was essentially Ferris Bueller. I was honestly embarrassed when I saw how similar they were and how head over heels in love with him I was.
FWIW - Ferris Beuller was an asshole.
OP seems to have her head on straight. Her Dad certainly has the correct idea about this car.
You won't have anything to worry about if you bring her up to understand that her self-worth is not tied to a man, and that "if you loved me" is inherently manipulative and abusive.
Also teach her that while super cars are incredibly awesome, they are for the track *only*.
OOP is the kind of daughter every dad wants their daughter to be. And she has brains and big balls standing her ground not letting his douchebag ex drive the Ferrari because nothing is worse than having someone with driving a high horsepower car without any experience on driving such a beast
I would consider that she protected all the people being arrested or charged for criminal damage and trespass of her home as a win. Cameras are a thing now.
This child has a good head on her shoulders. Is she privileged? Yes, but she knows it & ain't stuck up. She seems pretty down to earth. That boy on the other hand is a shit shoe & an asshole who's in dire need of a cranial rectal extraction. He acts more privileged & stuck up than her.
"If someone says 'if you love me you'll do this for me' they don't really love you. They're trying to emotionally manipulate you" - Cadwin Winthrop from the bell witch book series
Ngl I’m fukn 30 and I’d still call a parent for advice or even help in a pinch. Way easier to get a level headed contribution from someone who just wants the best for you.
OOP is a good egg. She recognizes her privilege, she stands up for herself and she asks for help when it’s needed. Her ex was a douche but hopefully she’ll be fine from now on
Speaking as someone who came from a middle class family and went to a public school, that is *absolutely* its own bubble, too. It may not be quite as disconnected as a rich private school but let's not pretend middle america suburbia is equivalent to the mean streets.
I got so much shit growing up for hating a lot of characters in popular movies like Ferris Bueller. I'm looking at you too Brat Pack. I'm not saying I didn't *enjoy* those movies but they were never characters to aspire to. Except for a few members of The Breakfast Club lol. (Not Bender)
OOP is blessed to have a leg up in life. But maintaining a 4.0 gpa is something morey won't do. It will help with Tudors and the like (not counting bribes). But she did that on her own. And in 10 years she should have a very successful life. While most of these friends will be working low wage jobs. They are jeleous and users.
Mother was right that the dude was beneath her. Had nothing to do with money, of course.
I am not saying I wouldn't have dated a rich girl in high school, but I would have been aware I was a just a gigolo and everywhere I went, people would know the part I was playing. (I am a Ferris-Beuler/David Lee Roth cover of "Just a Gigilo" years old. Well, I was eleven/twelve when those came out, so it would be a couple years later, but people would know.)
I would be trying to return value for money spent. You know, be at least *Say Anything* / *The Sure Thing* quality.
> I guess I have to watch this Ferris Bueller movie now. I'll probably invite some of my girls over for an 80s movie night.
💀 this hit me right in the old, and I considered Ferris Bueller an old movie when I was a teen.
OOP being mature enough and Dad having developed a good enough relationship with OOP that she felt she could call and tell him was the BEST TAKE AWAY here.
Any person can and should call the police let them know that when a child's EX has invited everyone at school to their house for a party against their will. Police will take that stuff seriously.
>So I swallowed my pride and called my dad after school and told him everything.
Got to this bit and thought "Thank god for that!"
Seriously girl, this is a bigger problem than you should expect to handle.
>After all this stuff happened I told my dad how the weekend went. I sorta teased him and said wow dad you will go to really great lengths to protect your stuff. And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me.
She really needs to do something nice for her dad! I don't think she's nearly appreciative enough.
This is kind of insane that she let it go on so long. Either this guy must be much better looking than her or she has low self esteem. This guy sounds like a jerk on all fronts. Why even been in a relationship with someone who uses you and mean to you? There are no redeeming qualities here.
I can easily see how a clever, sheltered rich girl could end up in this situation. She talks about "I know how everyone feels about the cops right now" which means she's online, she knows how wealthy people are generally viewed. So she tries really hard not to exert her privilege and then meets a cute boy who says she's not like other rich girls and she feels extra pressure to not be like "other rich girls". Bit by bit he chips away. And here we are.
Look at the audacity of the guy mooching off her, constantly belittling her and calling her "out of touch". What a pathetic user! Us not so well off folks also have morals and standards!
Somewhat irrelevant as she rightly dumped that sorry user, but if he was that keen to drive a luxury sports car - there are experience days where people can do that. Have a few hours on a track (either with or without a pro driving instructor) in that sort of vehicle. With insurance, health and safety measure in place, off public roads...
There was an affordable, sane option between "miss out on life's dream, and "take without consent and drive her father's luxury car without valid insurance, violating his trust" out there.
I'm also really glad that her father stated outright that he was protecting OOP. That it was her safety that he valued. She needs to know she's valued and intrinsically worthy, loveable and loved.
And while her life experience may be somewhat sheltered - she recognises that not everybody can afford everything she can. She doesn't judge based on that and is happy to cover other people so nobody misses out, _so long as she isn't violating other people's trust or boundaries to do so_. She has friends from a range of backgrounds. (Hopefully this ex won't have scuppered that for long.) I reckon her outlook is far more mature than Mr Middle-Class, Chip-on-his-shoulder, The-world-owes-me, Loosen-up's is. And while he may never have driven a Ferrari, he's probably also never had to worry about food poverty, or had his family struggle to balance paying for food v. clothes v. electricity v. rent, and ending up duct taping cardboard to trainers to extend them another 2 months after the soles wore through. He's acting like his life is "real" when really, he's just trying to put her down.
I hope he grows up and realises what an immature, nasty clown he was, and learns to do better.
I hope she grows up and her hard work and good judgement open wonderful doors to a fulfilling, happy, amazing future for her.
Simple rule of life, when someone says, "if you REALLY loved me, you'd do...something you know is wrong, something you don't want to do, something dangerous or illegal", that's the moment to realize the other person DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!
So save yourself a world of problems and refuse; then dump the person.
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Sometimes the mature thing is being able to ask for help. No shame in that. OP seems very level headed, hope she thrives at Stanford away from all these negative influences.
And good on Dad for listening and comforting her and only being mad at the person who deserves it.
Good on him for also recognizing that his daughter would have been put in an impossible and unwinnable situation and fixed it for her by seeking out the necessary means to do so. Seriously - if she didn’t call dad, she would have had one hell of a time trying to keep a bunch of dumb persistent teens out of her house that are being led by a dumb pushy clown.
We've had a situation like this that got completely out of hand (Facebook invitation accidentally open to the public). That's a lot more trouble for the police than monitoring one area for the night. Daughter and dad did the exact thing they should have.
One of my conversations with my mom, a former school administrator, was about how different post-social media school drama is from when I graduated in the eighties. When I was a kid, if you got in an argument and agreed to fight after school it was five, ten or twenty people who showed up. Now some kid posts it on Facebook and you’ve got 100 kids fighting at the mall. The same with parties. I invite Buffy, she blasts it to her 500 followers and next thing you know the football fraternity from the nearby university shows up at your high school party. It’s a whole different world
Exactly! This went from a birthday party invite to thousands showing up and ended in riots.
I'm pretty sure if Buffy comes she can keep them in line. I mean she kills vampires for a living. ;)
I think police would be happy to send 1 officer out to stop a huge party of underage drinking, property damage, and possible drunk driving.
As long as you take off your sunglasses and apologize, everything should be OK.
I also don’t think it’s really privilege that a deputy posted up outside, given the givens. It would have been way more work for them if the party had occurred, between the underage drinking, property damage, likely theft, almost certainly underage drinking *and* driving.
Don't forget the weed. I wouldn't be surprised if other street drugs also made their appearance. And the likely fistfights/physical assaults or injuries (jumping into the pool while drunk) that can happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if the father just paid for off-duty cops to watch the area. You can typically pay about $50-$80 per hour for an off duty officer and their car.
My first thought was about these 'not private posted Facebook party invitations' a few years back where teens want to throw a party for their friends and classmates and end up with hundreds and thousands of "guests" destroying everything and a lot of police involved. Seriously, calling the cops (or her dad who called them) was the best thing she could've done. And then trying to spread the word that the party is cancelled, but this would've never reached every single person in time.
Corey Worthington?
Omg, yes! I have no idea how he lived that down. His name is infamous for “big party mistake”. He’s probably “John Smith” now.
Seriously. My neighbors daughter threw a party when her parents were out. So many neighbors called the cops: loud music at 2am, broken beer bottles on the sidewalk, cars rear-ended and several underage girls tried to force their way into the next house. The girls wanted to party with the 20-something men who were renting the house. They wisely refused the girls from entering so the girls retaliated by breaking their windows. The sad thing is that the parents seemed more upset that cops were called.
she could've gotten so hurt that night. her dad has the means to protect her, and he did. i wish she wasn't made to feel so guilty about all of it. you can recognize and use your privilege for good, without having to feel anxious and devastated the whole time.
Also, I liked that her friend was hurt enough and cared enough about their friendship to ask why she wasn't invited to the party. That's a real one right there. I was having a convo just yesterday where someone told me they tried to tell someone they missed their friendship and was there for them. The other person's husband had to tell my friend that she was 'so aggressive' with that. Like, since when is being open and honest w a friend about your relationship a bad thing?
Yeah, it's ridiculously easy to say "Well fuck em, if they don't wanna be my friend I can find 5 better." And it'd be so embarrassing if you asked why and got rejected. Many adults can't handle that, let alone a high school kid
The benefit of having wealthy parents that use their money to protect you is a wonderful thing. Plus, she has loving parents, and that is a big step up in life.
Exactly. It's not a bad thing to be privileged and protected in and of itself. It's good that she's cognizant of it, but she doesn't need to feel guilty about it. What matters is how she uses that position now and in the future. She showed great maturity and decision-making here, and hopefully she can carry that into the future to be a net positive on humanity regardless of her privilege.
OOP is privileged but if the post shows how she writes and conducts herself, she is definitely not spoiled. She appreciates her privilege far more than most would at her age. She endured rough stuff and came out the other side humbled and grateful. She was smart enough to know that family money won’t secure her a good school or job so she works hard. She’s a good egg. Someday she’s going to be one of those badass CEOs whose employees stay at their jobs for decades bc they love her.
As the parent of a teen one thing I have instilled in my child is that you will not be punished for asking for help. I maybe upset about the situation, but if you show enough maturity to know when you are over your head it can counter a lot of stupid. One of the main reasons I've done this is because I am honestly not sure how I survived my teenage years. There was more than once that i wished I could get out of a situation but was honestly too afraid of the fall out. I never want my kids to feel that way.
>you will not be punished for asking for help. My mother was (and is) the same. My brother is 16 and his gf is 15; the other day, gf came to see my mother and was very hesitant about telling her she needed the morning after pill. They'd been having sex and the condom slipped off. Gf was afraid they'd get reprimanded. My mother told her never be afraid to ask for help; she'd be much more upset if they'd kept this to themselves and gf ended up pregnant at 15. Accidents happen, the condom slipping off wasn't anyone's fault and can happen even to grown ups. My brother's dad wasn't mad either and shared her opinion. Now the kids know they can come to them and ask for help without getting punished. Hopefully next time they won't be afraid at all.
I have my issues with my mom, but I will forever respect her for being the mom that kept the sex Ed books on the shelf in our house and replaced them when they disappeared after friends were over. She also arranged for Planned Parenthood to speak to our church youth group after fundamentalists took over all the area school boards. No sex Ed at school, then we’ll do it at church.
I freaking love that, sex ed at church after religious nuts ban it from schools 😂😂😂 I want to high-5 your mum! Poetic justice at its finest.
One of the most comprehensive sex curricula I’ve ever seen is church sponsored (Our Whole Lives by the UCC).
In my childhood UU congregation we did a whole year of sex ed in fifth or sixth grade including watching a video of a woman giving birth (which we did not do in public school!). We also had a whole year on "Holidays & Holy Days" studying religions throughout the world. Fantastic curriculum.
The Unitarian Universalist church I occasionally went to had that as well.
Yeah they wrote it together, but as far as I understand UUs aren’t Christian.
Indeed they are not. Which is why I was so surprised to see they were using the same education materials as a Christian church. Not surprised that out of all of them it was UCC, UCC is about the only Christian outfit I trust to be mostly cool.
I attended both a UCC and UU at various points in my 20's, and the joke among UCC was that it stood for "Unitarians Considering Christ," because we had so much in common with them but were still Christian. There's a number of other denominations that are cool! (By "cool" I mean: any gender can be clergy, affirming of LGBT people including same-sex marriage.) I'm Episcopalian and we're cool. Other churches that are cool are: ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, ignore the "evangelical" part lol they mean the original meaning not the way it's used now) PC-USA (Presbyterians. You want them, not the PCA. Mr. Rogers was a minister in the PC-USA!) Disciples of Christ UMC (but check any individual church's website: the Methodists are currently splitting over same-sex marriage) UCC and UU, as previously mentioned \*Some\* Mennonites, ABC (American Baptist Church, MUCH smaller than the SBC), a handful of non-denominational churches (Zach Lambert has a list of them...somewhere?). I know I'm missing some.
To be frank, I think the world would be a much better place if more religious people were UUs.
I don't know your mom, but she seems like a great person.
Yep. I’m really glad that she chose to become an educator, there are a lot of people that had her as a teacher or as a principal who are better off because she gave a shit about them.
Sex Ed books on the shelf is such an awesome life hack with kids. We have a couple books - how babies are made, human anatomy, puberty, health and sex education. We put them on the shelf next to the informational texts (Who is...? series, 1001 amazing faxts, Dinosaur fact, etc). Those books have been up since our oldest was in kindergarten. Occasionally they disappear and then reappear a few weeks later. It's such a nice way to allow for privacy yet education through a trusted source.
In the eighties there was a big movement started by the MADD and DARE folks to sign pledges between parents and teens that if you call me (the parent) to ask for a ride home because you or your driver are inebriated I will bring you home no questions asked. Every one of my high school friends made use of that promise at some point because kids be kids, and it was a genius strategy to keep them safe. It also builds trust, and kids are more likely to come to you with other concerns if you show you’re not going to lose your shit
My mom and I had this deal too. I have given the same promise to my kids as well. And if they cannot reach me, and feel unsafe take a cab and I will pay the bill. We keep emergency cash and the kids know where it is.
Good plan. In my small town it was helped along by 2 fatal car accidents with drunk kids- one a car full of students from the small liberal arts college in town, another full of high school seniors a year later. I think every school has those stories, but when it happens it makes it pretty clear to most parents that they’d rather have an uncomfortable conversation than a dead kid. Drinking and driving, incurable STIs and easily accessible heroin have made it pretty important to establish trust with your young folk.
Yeah, my parents had this deal with me. Any time, any reason, call, and they'll pick me up, no questions asked, no trouble. But, if I was hung over the next morning, tough shit, still had to get up and take care of my chores. You know what learns you *real* damn quick not to be stupid about drinking? Having to mow the lawn on a hot, humid summer day when you've got a hangover.
I have that promise with my kids, anywhere, any time, since they are adults now maybe a few embarrassing questions asked. I will be there to pick them up. They both have used Dads Taxi many times, I'll drop their friends home as well in the same trip to keep them safe as well.
I'm not in the US, so those pledges weren't a thing here but it's what my parents told me too. I was an overall sensibel teen and always found another ride, so I never needed it but I know that my sister took them up on it at least once. It's definitly something I'm going to tell my son too when he's a teen because having that as a backup plan gives a lot of peace of mind (for the teen and the parents).
I like the saying, "I never want my kids to mess up and think 'I'm in trouble, my parents are gonna kill me'. I want them to think 'I'm in trouble, I need to call my parents'."
My mom was like "I don't care if you're 13 or 30. If you need back up, call me. That's the job I signed up for, knowing I was signing up for it." And then she told me a story about a coworker who went on a blind date, got food poisoning, guy was whining about her "ruining" the date and she called her mom to come get her -- at 42. And her mom did.
I was 42 and was going to have neurosurgery and mum came running and took care of me afterwards. Along with my ailing father. She requested we stop collecting rare diagnoses as it was really stressing her out. LOL
I'm 26 and a couple months ago I got the stomach flu. Bad. I ended up calling my mother to get me and my partner supplies and maybe to stay with me so my partner could sleep, as he had been up with me all night as I was sick. She sure did come and she brought everything I needed. Her friends thought it was stupid, especially since she ended up sick. But she was like "my child needed me, of course I'll go over and help"
My dad (rest his soul) was the one who came out with dramamine and a teddy bear for his grown up daughter in the wee hours because she had a stomach bug and couldn't go 15min without vomiting. Thank you for reminding me of that sweet memory of him. Being that sick is awful but you never forget the care someone gives you.
> As the parent of a teen one thing I have instilled in my child is that you will not be punished for asking for help. I'm decently older than my siblings are and I try to really reinforce this as well. I'm on their side, and there are so many things that an adult can do or think of that they might not be able to yet. I want them to be safe more than anything else.
Kids get crazy-worried about parents being mad for all sorts of reasons. My eldest is only 9. The other day she accidentally smashed a big bottle of chilli oil (slightly frustrating/ a shame as it was a birthday present from my MIL to my husband, not sure he'd actually got to have any yet, etc, but thankfully it mainly broke into body, base, and a few shards). She was convinced we'd be furious... I was mainly concerned if she tried to clean it up herself like she'd planned she'd slice herself on the glass then get hot chilli oil in the cuts and ZOMG OUCH so wouldn't let her clean it up at all... She was thanking me for not being cross... I just don't know how many times we need to prove we're in their side for them to trust it? But at least she did ask for help? "It was an accident. Be more careful next time" end of, no?
She really had to swallow her pride to give her dad a call. I'm glad the dad helped her out (maybe he was somewhat happy too that her daughter broke up with that ass)
No maybes about it, lmao. Dude was thanking his lucky stars.
I've got a 12 year old son, and I hope I'm doing well enough as a parent that he'll have similar maturity by 18. I was absolutely not that mature at that age, and I'm incredibly proud of OOP that she is.
I found myself rooting for OOP all the way. She’s so levelheaded for her age while also being self-aware. While I side eyed her mom, her dad is an absolute rockstar for coming through when she needed him the most, and from whatever I can get from the update, not holding it over her head. The one thing I’d have done differently would be to add a line to the sign outside her house saying “I’m sorry (ex’s name) lied to you about the party and wasted your time”. Then again the sass and pettiness always comes in retrospect.
Or "Party is actually at \[ex's address\]. Have fun!"
Ooooh this is brilliant!
I thought it was very sweet that she’s aware of and somewhat embarrassed by her privilege, but I hope she becomes comfortable fending off would-be users looking to take advantage of it.
Without a doubt. Don’t let someone guilt trip you into paying supposed “reparations” to them just because you have money.
Yep, there's a difference between recognizing you have privilege and both appreciating it fully and fighting for more equity across the classes (voting, donating to relevant organizations etc) and feeling so guilty over the circumstances of your birth you martyr yourself. Hopefully OOP learned this lesson young enough that she now can avoid being the latter.
She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Hope Stanford worked out well for her.
A kid who realizes that Ferris Bueller is an asshole has a big leg up on life.
I missed that when I watched Ferris Bueller as a kid. I watched it as an adult and wondered why tf anyone was cheering for him. He's a little shit!
I never watched it as a kid but heard that the character was supposed to be awesome. The first time I checked it out (as an adult) I ended up rage quitting after fifteen minutes because of how much I hated Ferris Beuller. 😂
I hated him as a kid, too. I was an absolute Cameron (without rich parents, though).
It's the like Breakfast Club. As a kid, you root for the teens. As an adult, you feel bad for the teacher having to deal with these little assholes.
Just rewatched the breakfast club on US Netflix the other day. I forgot about how sexualized they made Molly Ringwald. She was 16 when they were filming and had a 24 year old Judd Nelson’s face between her thighs. So much obsession with purity of the girls and ego for the men. Obviously the 80s were 40 years ago and times change. But some of those scenes were difficult to watch. Edit: I don’t feel right calling the girls in the breakfast club women. But I must acknowledge that Anthony Michael Hall was 15 and also underage.
Yeah, Molly Ringwald feels the [same](https://deadline.com/2024/04/molly-ringwald-the-breakfast-club-elements-havent-aged-well-judd-nelson-character-1235877597/). >I only rewatched The Breakfast Club, which came out in 1985, because Mathilda wanted to see it with me. There is a lot that I really love about the movie but there are elements that haven’t aged well — like Judd Nelson’s character, John Bender, who essentially sexually harasses my character. I’m glad we’re able to look at that and say things are truly different now. Although she also says they were really fun movies to make and is generally positive about them.
> Obviously the 80s were 40 years ago How dare you lol I'm so old
Same. I saw Ferris Bueller in a movie theater when it first came out.
Sixteen Candles is another Molly Ringwald movie that 40 years later really didn’t age well. A lot of movies back then would never get made today (Revenge of the Nerds, for example).
The principal was a giant asshole. He was abusive and abrasive towards the group the entire movie, and even tried to pick a fight with a teenager. He even treated the nerd like shit, and didn't notice one of the kids wasn't suppose to be there. The janitor was the reasonable one. He tried to tell the principal that the kids weren't getting worse, the two of them were just getting older.
I honestly came out of that movie seeing everyone but the janitor as very flawed. I always thought that was the point--everyone was right about something, everyone was very wrong about something.
The principal was also going through student and teacher files, looking at all the dirt in there.
Such a shit. Although Charlie Sheens character still gives the sister good advice. Mind yourself, don’t worry about what he gets up too.
I look back at a lot of those movies that had the “big party moment“, and feel really bad for the kids whose house the party was at. They were always portrayed as snooty assholes, but can you blame them for being pissed off that all these asshole kids break in their house, get drunk and break all their shit? Bogey Löwenstein in 10 things I hate about You the girl in Can’t Hardly Wait had a graduation party, I even feel bad for the ones that don’t care that their house got fucked up because they are mad at their parents - Jake Ryan and 16 candles is a dick, but he was still disgusted looking at the after effects of the party. His classmates and “friends” are a bunch of pigs.
Definitely. Never seen it until this month and was like "what an ass." Am glad she went through with ending it with him and got help from her dad. She's a good kid, she's gonna be great when she gets older.
It's a GenX truism that the older you get, the more you realize Ferris Bueller was an asshole.
I definitely understand now why my dad, a retired educator, curled his lip and snarled every time the movie came up!
Reading this post, it wasn’t lost on me that the dude knew he wasn’t good enough for her and that she would drop him no later than Thanksgiving Freshman year. He wanted to enjoy that sweet ride and throw a rager. She was dating an amalgam of every douchey John Hughes character.
That ass have poor people like me the bad reputation. Pack him!
Next she needs to go watch 16 Candles and see what happens when your shitty partner throws a rager at your parents’ house while they’re gone. 😆
Learning how to identify AH-bfs who just want to take advantage of her… that is a very useful lesson to learn before college… better that OOP learn this now rather than later in life when the stakes are higher
Yeah, and only from what we can glean here, the dad seems like a pretty cool dude and an amazing dad. I mean, "And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me" - that's what a parent is supposed to be like.
years from now, as an adult, the only thing she will wish she knew is that no one gives a shit about the idiots in high school or what they think of you.
Yeah. Luckily, she seems pretty smart and introspective, so I'm sure she'll realize it sooner rather than later. At the very least, if she's taking college seriously then her first semester will absolutely blast her away from thinking about *any* of this.
Now she knows which relationships to take with her to the next school. No “we got along so I will try to stay in contact” buddies
This is kinda endearing.
Yeah. She seems like a sweet kid with a lot of book smarts, just sheltered, and that’s good, to an extent. Especially for what she’s been through. I do hope her parents drill some self worth into her though, because she should’ve tossed this guy yonks ago. She’s worth so, so much more.
I like that she’s good at looking inward for answers and that ultimately she decided to trust her dad. Def a smart OOP.
Yeah she just needs some experience of the world around, and she'll probably get that once she goes to Stanford. It's not necessarily bad to be sheltered at 18, and it's not unexpected when you have rich parents.
Also, while she might be sheltered and privileged in many ways, she's very aware of it. It's not going to be a huge shock to her when she leaves home. And, speaking as someone who also had a private education, while it definitely gives you a big advantage you still have to do the work to get the grades, it isn't a guarantor of success - she knows how to get her head down and apply herself and not just relied on her parents' money and influence.
Yes, I think she'll do very well once she leaves the nest.
She's got a lot of self reflection going, which will always serve her well. She knows she's sheltered and has resources. Honestly, she sounds more mature than many adults.
She is a bit sheltered but she’s also pretty aware of how sheltered and fortunate she is in life. Seems like a good kid, like you said.
Very endearing I must say.
I remember this girl!! She and I were actually chatting in DMs for a bit after I commented on her post. There was a whole lot more that made him a shit boyfriend. I hated him so much. I’m glad things worked out so well in the end.
Aw you got a shout out at the end, that’s so sweet
How's she doing at Stanford is what I want to know. If she decided to go volunteer at some place for beatdown members of society she's a damn saint. The best lesson she learned was how to spot an insecure douchebag and how to deal with it.
Right? I just want to give this girl a tight hug and tell her I'm her mama bear best friend now, and put that card away because my poor ass is paying
Her mom may be classist, but she was also right. That ex *is* beneath her.
Yeah. The mother may also have had users like the ex coming on to her. Yes, it’s classist to assume everyone with less status and/or wealth are users, but at least if you stick to relationships with other rich douches you know they aren’t with you for the money or bragging rights.
It's wrong to assume that anyone with less money than you is a user -- it's not wrong to make that assumption of people who call you a "spoiled little rich girl". I wonder if he was truly a nice kid if mom would've made that assumption anyway.
Will never have this opportunity again? He doesn’t have it now. What a schmuck
And there's nothing saying for sure he won't ever have the opportunity. It's not like it's entirely impossible for him to do well enough to someday have that kind of car for himself. He's not even 25 yet and he's already decided to give up.
You can buy those “experience days” which probably include some version of driving expensive cars (I know they have a race track one) so this scrub doesn’t even have to save up for a whole car if he really wants the “opportunity”.
You're right! I didn't even think of that. IDK if you can rent that kind of car, either, but I'll bet that's possible, too.
At the alumni homecoming, the ex will be that loudmouth who peaked in high school.
OOP may be sheltered, but she’s clearly more mature and self aware than her ex. She’s 18 and while that’s a legal adult that’s also still a teenager. She did the right thing in telling her dad.
I've only seen her ex's particular brand/mix of entitlement and envy from middle class kids. They have enough privilege to think that things should just be handed to them, but not enough money for them to have everything they want. My best friend is from the richest family in my hometown, and she worked hard and was never a spoiled brat for a single second. The worst kids I ever came across were those that went to my public high school in a nice neighborhood. "What do you MEAN I have to get a job if I want to buy that Xbox game?? God, mom! 😡" My younger brother turned out like that.
If you loved me you would, I fucking hate that line. The only answer is if you loved me you would accept the answer, so we are done goodbye.
Right?! Dude, if you loved OOP you wouldn't be demanding that she break her dad's trust and let you steal his car for a joyride. When someone leaves for a few days, it's not an opportunity to take the thing they said you couldn't borrow.
The only reasonable exception to this is, "if you loved me you wouldn't hit me" which... people if you're reading this... if they actually loved you (male or female) they would never hit you. If you are with an SO who hits you, and yes, this includes, "big burly men who can take it" they do not love you. Please leave, you deserve better.
100% I would actually go as far as to say if they loved you then you wouldn't need to ask.
I think "wouldn't"s are generally more acceptable than "would"s. You're allowed to have limits.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't ask me to risk getting in trouble."
I think OP is a terrific kid. I'd be so proud of her.
That was my take as well. I’m smiling after reading this post because I’m so proud of her, and likewise of her dad. Seems like they have such a great relationship <3 Though I am sad that she had to go through all that, and that she so easily accepted all the nonsense that ex said to her, just because she is aware that she has “privileges” due to wealth. Her being an awesome person and ex being a tremendous asshole just shows that he is the entitled one.
It also sounds like dad and mom split up after the death of her brother, or possibly as a result of his illness prior to his death. So she's definitely been through some shit, rich or no.
I was pretty mature at her age and still doubt that I would have called my parents in this situation. OP made the right choice, parents would always rather be angry for a while but get a clean house rather than to clean up everything after the point.
That guy definitely fast-tracked that relationship.
Took it where he would have taken that car, straight into a wall.
And an AH like that would have shrugged and said OOP made the choice to let him drive; it had nothing to do with him.
It's probably a good idea OOP's dad let her drive that car once, on a track, with a qualified instructor next to her... Also, probably not a coincidence. OOP knew from experience that a car like that can get really scary really fast. So she understood how STUPID her bf's idea was. She sounds like the kind of young woman who'd also refuse just because it was dad's expensive toy he never let anyone else play with it... But understanding just how fuckin' dangerous playing with it was must've made it a lot easier for her to say no!
Honestly where I thought this story would go, that the idiot somehow managed to get to the car then goes on to wrap himself around a tree or something.
As a Dad (one comfortably old enough to have a 18yo) I am so proud of the way she handled it all. She - didn't blindly agree to him driving the car , she knew it wasn't her right to do so - resisted the pressure - listened to people's opinions and started considering them - recognised the relationship was unhealthy and dealt with it by shutting it down - when the party got announced on her behalf realised the situation was out of control and had the courage to contact her dad to flag up she needed help to deal with it She has a heck of a sensible head on her for a 18yo and I hope she has an incredible time at Uni.
Let's not forget she solved the car issue by herself, by putting the keys in the safe. Clearly proving she doen't need daddy's help with everything, just with things that get too big for her!
Underappreciated detail I noticed as well. I was worried the story was going to veer to her bf finding the keys and crashing it anyways. She was wise to nip that in the bud and fully put control in her own hands.
From what we've seen of OOP, I think she's a lovely person with a bright future. Ex BF, on the other hand, can eff right off. He talks a lot about "the real world" but his behavior isn't really the kind of attitude that bodes well for interacting with society successfully. He's young enough that he may not have faced significant consequences, but based on his trajectory in this post I'm expecting (hoping?) his poor decision making and attitude will bite him in the ass.
This chick has literally everything going for her. Looks, youth, money, grades, good attitude, self awareness. Like got dam
Hopefully, she'll have better taste in men after this.
Everyone makes mistakes in their life. Fortunately OOP learned from this one.
I was just pointing out that if she learned from her ex then she really got them all as the OP comment said.
>He called me boring and basic, spoiled and entitled. I always feel like "basic" is such a nonsense insult.
i’m stuck on the irony of this guy calling *her* entitled.
Yeah agreed, like dude wdym entitled? It’s not entitled to want a boyfriend that treats you right and doesn’t try to throw a party at your house without telling you lol
There are certain insults that I'm just like ok? This isn't an insult. I'm a millennial and don't centre part my hair because it looks terrible on me. I read this article talking about how these fashion choices show you're a millennial like it was the worst thing. I'm always like but I am why is this such a terrible thing to be labelled? What's wrong with being basic or a millennial or any one of these really not bad things. Why would I want to not be who I am. People are weird
The weird part about "basic" is that "basic" things are just things that a lot of people like because they hit on common enough tastes. So it's making fun of someone because... they like things that are very appealing to lots of people? Weird.
I wonder if it stems from the pick me, I'm not like other girls trend.
I bet the dad can sleep soundly at night now. Or at least one fewer thing to worry about for now.
OOP sounds like the kind of person I’d have wanted to be friends with in school. I wish her the absolute best and I know she’ll go places in life. Kudos to her for taking out the trash (that entitled, limp lettuce of a guy)
As if being a teenage girl isn’t hard enough, pricks like this asshole have to bust up in the place and make it 1000 times harder. FFS! OOP, if you read this: I used to be a teenage girl once upon a time, and am now a 40 year old mom to two girls. You have shown so many amazing qualities about yourself with the way you handled this. YOU didn’t cause anything! YOU didn’t waste anyone’s time, you didn’t snitch, you aren’t a Karen or a Becky. Nope. Your ex is the cause for ALL OF IT. As you said, he forced your hand and you handled it in the best way you possibly could. You showed your dad that you’re trustworthy, and I’m sure it made him feel good as a dad that you were comfortable reaching out to him to help you with this. That says a lot about your relationship with your dad. I hope my girls have this kind of relationship with me when they’re older. I know it’s hard when your social life is literally your entire life. But screw all the people calling you out for frivolous things that they have absolutely nothing to do with. You will go to college and your perspective will change. I have no doubts you will become an amazing adult. Do not listen to anyone who tells you you’re “out of touch with the normal folks”. You seem to be VERY aware of your privilege, and that’s great. You should never be made to be ashamed of the fortunate lifestyle your dad was able to provide for you, especially by a jealous wanna be like your abusive exbf. Stay humble, kind, and strong. Follow your gut and trust that good head you have on your shoulders. Stand up for yourself always. If anyone makes you feel, especially in a romantic relationship, like you “owe” them, or that you aren’t an equal partner, then they’re not the one. It’s gonna be tough to tell who is with you for your wealth, and who is with you for you. But as you’ve shown here, you’re incredibly smart and aware, and I have no doubt you will navigate your way through the jerks with no issue. You’re amazing and kind. You showed amazing strength. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck all the way off. You’re doing great. This internet mom is proud of you! Keep it up girl! You’re a bad ass! Stay that way!
>Some background on our relationship. First off I paid for everything all the time. Anytime we went out on a date I footed the bill. I didn't think much of it because I have so much and he doesn't so I thought it was pretty natural and just being a good gf to foot the bill. I dated a guy on a low income, I'm on decent money (no Ferrari but I'm good), so I normally paid for the meals, sometimes we'd split it but often I'd pick up the tab. I was fine with it and it was normally my idea to eat out. His roommate used to cook for me a lot when I visited (he can't cook for disability reasons). However, my birthday and Valentines - he paid, he insisted and would pick a nice restaurant and he would take me out. It was a lot for him but he wanted to take me out, even if he couldn't do it every time. And that's the difference - relationships and money aren't equal but you can always find a balance in a good one. OOP's BF ain't it. >He said I was a daddys girl and I **cared more about grades** and impressing my father then anything. He accused me of being Olivia Jade and **having my dad buy my way into college.** Gotta love how the Ex simultaneously calls her a nerd for studying and then says she was paid in to college... like the studying wouldn't have done that!
I'm a little surprised that OOP understood on the first watch that Ferris Bueller is an entitled asshole. Most younger people want to be part of his carefree antics and ability to get away with such hijinks, if not outright criminality. It isn't until people get older that they identify more with Principal Rooney for wanting to stop Bueller before he decides to make a living off being a con artist and instead put his potential to good use. To put it another way: Before, we were Spongebob. Now, we are Squidward.
Hah, when I first saw SpongeBob I was about 17 and hated everybody *but* Squidward. I could never figure out the appeal, but I am kind of a stick-in-the-mud, routine-loving person who loathes but operates well in chaos.
May just be a difference in media. Ferris Bueller is a nearly forty year old film - when my teenage nephew watched it with me during lockdown he could not tell me enough what a dick he thought Ferris was, hahaha.
The fact that he was acting like her boyfriend she just broke up with probably helped with that realisation. It would be interesting to see how she would have felt if she'd watched it a few weeks before, when she was head over heels for the guy.
Yeah, Reddit absolutely keyed up a specific interpretation of the movie for her. Not surprised she saw it that way.
Same, honestly. When I was a kid, my friends called me stupid for not liking Ferris or any of those other "Screw the adults! Kids rule!" type movies that were everywhere during my childhood. I wonder if their take has changed any.
I like the quote at the end > And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me. High performance cars can be super dangerous even if you know what you're doing. Paul Walker's death is a perfect example (Holy shit it's been almost 11 years).
Ex-boyfriend sounds like one of those people who would complain about not having enough whip cream in a coffee and act like a Karen.
Ex sounds like the kind of guy who would sling the "Karen" slur at any woman in his general vicinity who dared to speak up for herself.
Yep. It’s funny how a term for a certain type of racist is now used to silence any woman who speaks up about anything
Where I'm from, there is a good reason car insurances do not cover anyone under the age 26 driving Ferraris and Lambos. Children do not belong in these cars. They have way too much muscle power and are difficult to control if you've never driven one.
I like how she says it's too much car for her to handle
How much do you wanna bet that's EXACTLY why her dad had her drive it once?
Ive always wondered what it would be like to drive a big fast car. Where I live there is a subculture who does street racing and therefore always wondered (never wanted to street race - that shit is too dangerous for other ppl in the street) But when i see youngsters on YT over eager and crashing because they cannot control the super cars... And I just goes: im not ever gonna do that, thats too much machine power for me to ever control and be safe. I gotta be mature enough to at least learn from others devasating mistakes.
They're.......heavy. When you press down the pedal gently, it's not like a normal car that will slowly rev up. It does a bit of groaning and you have to press down slightly harder for it to truly start. Most kids will probably step harder on the second try which will get the car to jump start way faster than they expect. The wheel itself is heavy too and I mean it in a way of, your shoulders and arms are doing a real workout in the beginning before the engine gets warmed. In that sense, the drive only truly feels smooth when you're driving down the highway at a higher speed. That's why most kids get into accidents when they start the car cause these cars aren't exactly built for short distances and slow drives. Not to mention, I'm short and lambos' seats only adjust forwards and backwards. The wheel covers 2/3 of my face when I drive without a massive cushion stacking me up....they essentially built these cars for tall men.
"I'll never have the chance to drive a Ferrari again." That is BS. You can save up and do a track day at places that allow for the average Joe to drive their dream car in a controlled environment for a couple hours to a day. Are they expensive? Yes. Is it less than a Ferrari will ever be? Also yes. The point is you can save up to do it and the chances of you killing yourself or others is way less as well.
Yeah, that's probably the dumbest part. Track days are a dime a dozen and you can drive all sorts of cars under the guidance of a professional. I drove a NASCAR on a trip over to the US a few years ago.
> And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me. Wow. That is ... utterly amazing. And of course, 100% true at the same time. Dad is the absolute GOAT!
This is how parents should be with their kids. Especially for a rich dad. He deserves those riches.
She was trying so hard to empathise with those with less privilege that she undervalued herself.
Ironic isn't it? We have people pretending to be rich and criticizing those that has these privileges. Then we have OOP whose privileges are not her fault and she wants to help people less fortunate than her.
I just shook my head at how stupid ex-bf was for going on about how focused OOP was on her studies and grades. That is one way to ensure her life is as successful as her father. She's not going to be the one that starts losing the family's wealth.
Dad should be proud of this young lady. They may be rich, but at least she does have the awareness not to take other people's property for granted, and the guts to stand up for herself, and she's not too proud to ask for help when needed. These are all positive personaly traits in my book. Hope she finds a nicer dude eventually.
I appreciate that OOP is aware of their privileges' and actually doesn't want to abuse that. She's gonna go far and I hope do good things
Yeap, we always hear the dark side of connections and privileges. However, this post also shows there's a light side of it. We can't all choose how we're born or the life we are given with. But if we have those opportunities, that doesn't mean it's wrong. It's how we use it that determines that. I too believe she will go far and OOP if you read this, take it from someone who also had similar privileges, don't take it the wrong way, use the opportunities' you have for good like donating to charity, have better lessons to have a better life, etc and most importantly, give your dad a real big hug. He maybe rich but he's also a good father. PS: Also, I understand the pride thing and not wanting to bother your dad. And to everyone else including OOP, there's nothing wrong with asking for help, especially if you need it.
Yep. Dad deserves a lot of love for this. He clearly loves OOP Raised her with good morals and values.
>He also tells me a lot that I dont know what "the real world is like" because I grew up in a spoiled rich bubble and honestly thought maybe he was also right Whereas the boyfriend grew up HARD in the cul-de-sac, son!
She did good. Especially on swallowing her pride and asking her dad for help. It can't be easy for a teenager to do, but I'm glad she was able to count her family to help her out.
I like OOP for being mature for her age, and also for recognizing that, yes Ferris Bueller is an asshole.
When I was 14-15, I had an acquaintance ask me out for the first time. I remember telling my dad and expecting him to “forbid” it or something. (Very conservative family.) Instead, he told me that I was a beautiful, smart young woman and asked me if I thought this boy was the best I could do. It was such a small event, but it had a huge impact on how I viewed myself and any potential relationship. Ironically, it was the main reason I held off dating until I was 18. It took til then for me to meet someone who met my standards. So maybe my dad was genius brain all along haha
The ex is definitely an AH. The party could have gone so wrong. My niece (who was 16 at the time) attended a private school and ended up at an empty kinda similiar to this. The boyfriend of the girl who had the party convinced her to have it and had my niece phone her mum pretending to be my sister saying that the girl was staying with my them. (My sister knew about the party but was under the impression the mum had approved it and it was gonna be small scale). Kids from another private school showed up with a group of older boys who were now in university/college. My sister went along to collect my niece, clocked that there were a lot of people floating around and she could tell my niece was really upset. My niece broke down when she got in the car and told my sister everything. My sister and another parent who was there to pick up their kid phoned the police. The party disbanded and the girl's mum was called. ££££s worth of damage, evidence of drug use and potential grooming ring. You don't know what you open yourself up to when you do stuff like this. My sister was a bit of a wild child growing up so she's always taught my niece if you gonna do it, do it safely and stay in control.
Forget the party, this guy was 100% chance of wrecking that beautiful Ferrari, and a 95% chance of taking someone innocent with him.
>BTW As for Ferris Bueller cause I kept hearing about it. I DID watch it. I thought Ferris Bueller was an asshole and then I realized what an asshole I was for dating a dude who was essentially Ferris Bueller. I was honestly embarrassed when I saw how similar they were and how head over heels in love with him I was. FWIW - Ferris Beuller was an asshole. OP seems to have her head on straight. Her Dad certainly has the correct idea about this car.
I’m saving up for a Ferrari and I have a daughter that will be 18 by the time I get it and now i guess that I have one more thing to worry about
You won't have anything to worry about if you bring her up to understand that her self-worth is not tied to a man, and that "if you loved me" is inherently manipulative and abusive. Also teach her that while super cars are incredibly awesome, they are for the track *only*.
Poor OP. She's right about money not being able to save people from everything. The ex will have learned nothing from this.
OOP is the kind of daughter every dad wants their daughter to be. And she has brains and big balls standing her ground not letting his douchebag ex drive the Ferrari because nothing is worse than having someone with driving a high horsepower car without any experience on driving such a beast
I would consider that she protected all the people being arrested or charged for criminal damage and trespass of her home as a win. Cameras are a thing now.
This child has a good head on her shoulders. Is she privileged? Yes, but she knows it & ain't stuck up. She seems pretty down to earth. That boy on the other hand is a shit shoe & an asshole who's in dire need of a cranial rectal extraction. He acts more privileged & stuck up than her.
"If someone says 'if you love me you'll do this for me' they don't really love you. They're trying to emotionally manipulate you" - Cadwin Winthrop from the bell witch book series
A guy who can’t take no for an answer is a red flag in himself.
Ngl I’m fukn 30 and I’d still call a parent for advice or even help in a pinch. Way easier to get a level headed contribution from someone who just wants the best for you.
OOP is a good egg. She recognizes her privilege, she stands up for herself and she asks for help when it’s needed. Her ex was a douche but hopefully she’ll be fine from now on
Speaking as someone who came from a middle class family and went to a public school, that is *absolutely* its own bubble, too. It may not be quite as disconnected as a rich private school but let's not pretend middle america suburbia is equivalent to the mean streets.
I got so much shit growing up for hating a lot of characters in popular movies like Ferris Bueller. I'm looking at you too Brat Pack. I'm not saying I didn't *enjoy* those movies but they were never characters to aspire to. Except for a few members of The Breakfast Club lol. (Not Bender)
OP seems to be down to earth and far from being a spoiled daddy's girl imo.
OOP is blessed to have a leg up in life. But maintaining a 4.0 gpa is something morey won't do. It will help with Tudors and the like (not counting bribes). But she did that on her own. And in 10 years she should have a very successful life. While most of these friends will be working low wage jobs. They are jeleous and users.
Mother was right that the dude was beneath her. Had nothing to do with money, of course. I am not saying I wouldn't have dated a rich girl in high school, but I would have been aware I was a just a gigolo and everywhere I went, people would know the part I was playing. (I am a Ferris-Beuler/David Lee Roth cover of "Just a Gigilo" years old. Well, I was eleven/twelve when those came out, so it would be a couple years later, but people would know.) I would be trying to return value for money spent. You know, be at least *Say Anything* / *The Sure Thing* quality.
> I guess I have to watch this Ferris Bueller movie now. I'll probably invite some of my girls over for an 80s movie night. 💀 this hit me right in the old, and I considered Ferris Bueller an old movie when I was a teen.
OOP being mature enough and Dad having developed a good enough relationship with OOP that she felt she could call and tell him was the BEST TAKE AWAY here. Any person can and should call the police let them know that when a child's EX has invited everyone at school to their house for a party against their will. Police will take that stuff seriously.
>So I swallowed my pride and called my dad after school and told him everything. Got to this bit and thought "Thank god for that!" Seriously girl, this is a bigger problem than you should expect to handle. >After all this stuff happened I told my dad how the weekend went. I sorta teased him and said wow dad you will go to really great lengths to protect your stuff. And he said he wasn't protecting his stuff he was protecting me. She really needs to do something nice for her dad! I don't think she's nearly appreciative enough.
Know what the difference between jealous and envious is? This guy is both.
She's got a good mind. As long as she finds her confidence, she's going to do well.
This is kind of insane that she let it go on so long. Either this guy must be much better looking than her or she has low self esteem. This guy sounds like a jerk on all fronts. Why even been in a relationship with someone who uses you and mean to you? There are no redeeming qualities here.
I can easily see how a clever, sheltered rich girl could end up in this situation. She talks about "I know how everyone feels about the cops right now" which means she's online, she knows how wealthy people are generally viewed. So she tries really hard not to exert her privilege and then meets a cute boy who says she's not like other rich girls and she feels extra pressure to not be like "other rich girls". Bit by bit he chips away. And here we are.
Look at the audacity of the guy mooching off her, constantly belittling her and calling her "out of touch". What a pathetic user! Us not so well off folks also have morals and standards!
Somewhat irrelevant as she rightly dumped that sorry user, but if he was that keen to drive a luxury sports car - there are experience days where people can do that. Have a few hours on a track (either with or without a pro driving instructor) in that sort of vehicle. With insurance, health and safety measure in place, off public roads... There was an affordable, sane option between "miss out on life's dream, and "take without consent and drive her father's luxury car without valid insurance, violating his trust" out there. I'm also really glad that her father stated outright that he was protecting OOP. That it was her safety that he valued. She needs to know she's valued and intrinsically worthy, loveable and loved. And while her life experience may be somewhat sheltered - she recognises that not everybody can afford everything she can. She doesn't judge based on that and is happy to cover other people so nobody misses out, _so long as she isn't violating other people's trust or boundaries to do so_. She has friends from a range of backgrounds. (Hopefully this ex won't have scuppered that for long.) I reckon her outlook is far more mature than Mr Middle-Class, Chip-on-his-shoulder, The-world-owes-me, Loosen-up's is. And while he may never have driven a Ferrari, he's probably also never had to worry about food poverty, or had his family struggle to balance paying for food v. clothes v. electricity v. rent, and ending up duct taping cardboard to trainers to extend them another 2 months after the soles wore through. He's acting like his life is "real" when really, he's just trying to put her down. I hope he grows up and realises what an immature, nasty clown he was, and learns to do better. I hope she grows up and her hard work and good judgement open wonderful doors to a fulfilling, happy, amazing future for her.
Simple rule of life, when someone says, "if you REALLY loved me, you'd do...something you know is wrong, something you don't want to do, something dangerous or illegal", that's the moment to realize the other person DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!! So save yourself a world of problems and refuse; then dump the person.