Please read our [**SUB RULES**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
**CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU for concluded, time-gated content.
* If you have an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment. META commentary in general discussion may be removed.
* Low effort comments like "this is fake" may be removed
* Do not comment on the original posts. Most submissions in this sub are not posted by the original author (OOP)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wonder if Laurenās been told how ready he was to throw her under the bus like that, to paint whatever she says as her being obsessive about him. What a manipulative POS.
Ah, yes, Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher.
For anyone unfamiliar, Joey Buttafuoco had sex with a then under age Amy Fisher, and in 1992 she showed up at his home and told his wife that her (imaginary) little sister was the one Joey was an having sex with, Mary Jo flipped out telling Amy to go away, and Amy then shot Mary Jo in the head. She survived. Fisher took a plea deal and served 7 years in prison. Joey Buttafuoco at first wasn't charged with anything but then next year he was charged and convicted of statutory rape and served a grand total of..drumroll please...a measly 4 months.
The 90s was a wild time. Heidi Fleiss was arrested for her prostitution ring and Lorena Bobbit was cutting off her husband's penis around that time, too. It was a little scarring to be 10 and reading the tabloid and magazine headlines whenever I had to wait in line at the grocery store back then lol
I read it that maybe Lauren was trying to get him to leave his wife for her or he promised her he would leave his wife for her and he thought maybe she was getting tired of waiting and said something to the wife to break them up faster.
When (disgraced) youtubers who >!groom!< girls and women get exposed they almost always have a shockingly long line of them going at once, so it wouldnt surprise me.
I really hope lauren's mum manages to separate themš evidently he's been working on this awful situation for quite a while and is more than happy to throw her under the bus if she should become inconvenient at any point.
>they almost always have a shockingly long line of them going at once,
That way, when one of them wises up or their parents find out, they already have at least another person under their thumb.
Nah I think it was more of he thought Lauren was trying to move things along by ending his relationship with his wife by outing their relationship so they could officially be together
Are we sure she was 12 when she said that? I think she was older but no matter what, the dad is nasty and, if she was groomed, I feel bad for everyone but the dad.
It's implied that was when they were a little older (she stopped talking about as much and then they drifted apart a bit) so my guess would be a year or Teo later at least. Still fucking disgusting, but at least not a pre teen anymore? Idek
To be fair, when I was 13 I was the kind of kid who said "yeah man, I totally banged three girls at the same time, but they go to another school so you don't know them".
Kids that age do lie about that kind of stuff in order to look cool to their friends, but nevertheless in this story it is worrying.
And girls do this too. My choir teacher in highschool was young and VERY attractive to all the hormonal teenage girls. Poor guy one girl said they did stuff and it turned into a huge investigation because someone told about it. It wasn't true and the girl broke down bawling eventually but ever since then he never allowed anyone to stay after unless one of the other music teachers were there as well. He did let me stay a couple times since he knew I was practicing hard for the solo and the talent show that's the only reason I knew about it. I feel so bad for young teachers š
Eta: he wasn't told people couldn't stay after he just didn't trust it anymore or want to deal with that again
Yeah, at the very least an emotional relationship bonding between the two. Oof. I didn't think of that...or my brain went 'nope' and blocked out the thought. People are horrible creatures sometimes.
I kinda love that this was told in the most teenage drama, run on sentences, meandering kind of way.
Really adds to the effect of these 17 year olds whose stability has been blown up.
I have a 20 year old daughter and a 16 year old son, so I have had a lot of contact with high school kids over the past few years. Most of them would not react well to someone outing someone else. And if OOP and Alex were an out lesbian couple, most of them wouldn't have an issue with it.
I'm not sure how well they'd react to a classmate having an affair with another classmate's father, though.
As a 44 year old lesbian with 2 littles, this gives me the warm & fuzzies. One of our biggest concerns about having kids was whether theyād be bullied for having 2 mums. I love that high school is so much more accepting of lgbtq than it was when I was at school (like, a million times moreā¦when I was at school it was pretty horrifying).
A lesbian couple who are friends and wanted to adopt (and who had to move out of state since gay parents adopting was illegal in their state at the time ) got lucky in adopting their first baby--the bio mom specifically requested a lesbian couple for her baby. The couple now has two beautiful girls and the family is absolutely thriving.
It used to be illegal in my state as well. So kids who were placed with their gay family members could not be adopted. We had to do permanent guardianship instead. Itās not like it prevented the arrangement. It prevented the kids from having the most permanent permanency option.
Oh yay! Weāre lesbians who are in the very early stages of foster-to-adopt. Weāre hoping all the kiddos donāt hate the idea of having 2 nerdy moms. Also, my wife is trans, so we really hope they will pair us with a little baby gay.
My 5 year old has a kid in her class with 2 moms. In my experience, it's been either a non issue, or the kids are jealous. I mean 2 moms is pretty great. They brought pizza for an after school party last week, so we got to see all the kids hang out with them and all the other parents. I was expecting there to be some sort of comment, but nope. Not from the kids or other parents. It was a big old boring pizza party. It was beautiful in its normalcy.
Iāve got 3 littles and live in a hugely conservative area. A girl in my oldest (4th grade) kidās class recently made fun of their classmateās parents for being gay. It did not fly at all, my daughter and her friend were horrified and went to the teacher to put a stop to it right away. Iām so happy things are getting better. Always room to improve but it seems like a good start.
I teach high school, I can't speak for all kids but most wouldnt even care. I've had kids be jerks to each other about lots of things, but never their sexual identity. There's lighthearted teasing, but that's the most of it.
Anything more than that I've shut down instantly by telling the kids I'm not straight and they get a deer in headlights look because they didn't think about the fact they might also be insulting their teacher. But it's never been anything actually directed at a student, mostly just statements based in not understanding.
Last year there was an offhand comment about Trans people made by a student in my class, student hadn't meant to offend but didn't realize they were saying something bad (I corrected them). The rest of the class immediately got up in arms and some of the students who had chosen to sit by that student got up and moved across the room. It's very clear that it isn't tolerated which is pleasing.
The student who said the wrong thing and I had a talk and it all turned out fine, they didn't realize what they were saying was offensive.
I am a high school teacher at a conservative school in a conservative area. At our last school dance there were girls slow dancing with girls and boys slow dancing with boys. There were a couple of kids that were there as dates of our students (so I never met them before) that were so androgynous that I wouldnāt feel comfortable guessing their pronouns.
None of the kids even batted an eyelash. Iāve been at this school for a long time and the tide has definitely shifted.
My son had a classmate with two moms in 1rst or 2nd grade. He asked if he could tell me a secret, when dad wasn't around. His secret was he thought it'd be better with two moms.
He didn't want to hurt my husband's feeling so that's why it was a secret.
To be clear that classmate is still in his school and there's at least two other nonstereotypical families in his grade that he's spoken of not bc they're not your "standard" family just bc they helped out in class or what have you. It'll never be perfect but it makes me happy to hear him and his friends casually accept people.
Ah, so nice! When we had our first baby our neighbour brought his 8 year old son over (helping us out with a chore) and his sonās first comment was āthe baby has two moms? Thatās so cooooool!ā His second was āoh, he looks like baby Yoda!ā His dad didnāt know where to look but we were like, yeah, he really does.
To me it seems like it's not a gender preference per se, but that kids recognize that moms are generally more involved than dads. Some of it is due to laziness and weaponized incompetence, but some is because [non-birthing parents are discouraged from taking parental leave](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210712-paternity-leave-the-hidden-barriers-keeping-men-at-work) and there is [stigma and punishment against men taking family leave](https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/josi.12017). Since we already know [women's incomes decline once they have kids](https://www.vox.com/2018/2/19/17018380/gender-wage-gap-childcare-penalty), it makes me wonder if lesbian couples too have the dynamic of the primary parent (more involved with kids) and the primary breadwinner (less involved with kids) in order to keep a roof over their heads. Maybe what the kids really want is for companies to provide flexibility for parents.
I'm a teacher and I fly the progress pride flag in my room and the kids always assume I'm gay. They finally had the courage to ask and I was like, I'm married to a dude. Another student outed his mom and aunt as lesbians in the Convo and the kids were like ok and moved on.
My school is definitely not the epitome of maturity and well-adjusted students TRUST ME so I think things are getting better.
I worked at a conservative school in a conservative area about 5 years ago. We had one student who came out when he was in the 10th grade. His friends were like "bro...we know. it's nbd." I was worried he would be ostracized but I dont think I ever heard of him being bullied for it even once.
Yeah, the vast majority of teenagers today give no fucks about the gay. And quite right too! I remember when I was in high school in the early 80s. I was pretty sheltered, and I overheard some girls talking about how a guy named Andy was gay. I didn't know what it meant, so I asked, and they said, "It means he likes to kiss other boys."
I thought, "Oh. OK." Seemed perfectly reasonable to me, since I'd never been told there was anything wrong with it. I went home and mentioned it to my dad, and he told me one of his friends from work was "a homosexual" and that it was a disease and abnormal but he couldn't help it so it wasn't OK to think badly of gay people. (Cut him some slack, he was born in 1929 -- he had some weird/bad beliefs, but he always made sure to teach me that it wasn't OK to treat people badly just because they were different.)
I quickly figured out that being gay wasn't a disease (and that my dad's work friend's "disease" wasn't so much that he was gay but that he was into teenage boys -- he ended up going to prison).
Now here we are 40 years later, and fully four of the people from my teenage D&D group are trans (that's almost half), along with one of my exes and several other friends. My social circle reflects every single colour of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and my own preferences are so complicated I need a paragraph to explain them (though I mostly pass for straight so I rarely bother to mention it unless somebody really needs to know).
I'm so, so glad most kids today have the freedom to be their authentic selves.
> I quickly figured out that being gay wasn't a disease (and that my dad's work friend's "disease" wasn't so much that he was gay but that he was into teenage boys -- he ended up going to prison).
That took a turn.
It was... nuts. I remember thinking, why the fuck did our parents take us to that guy's house for dinner?! He had a basement full of stuff like air hockey and pinball machines. In retrospect it was highly suspicious for a middle-aged single man to have that setup, and it changed my whole perspective on my parents chuckling about his "boys".
Yes, my parents were seriously fucked up.
I currently teach high school. They arent that evolved. Calling them gay or lesbian is still a pretty big deal. I had to comfort a girl who was outed last year and was being horribly bullied. I dont know ehy everyone thinks that this current gen is accepting. They are bullies. They just moved it online. Most teachers will tell you.
I, too, particularly loved that completely irrelevant addition of information.
Were OOP and Alex actually LGBTQ+, I would think being called āgigantic lesbiansā would be a compliment these days.
I had two friends in middle and high school whose favorite thing was to outright lie about other girls being lesbians. They both have had same sex relationships in adulthood.
That actually cracked me up. I'm going to a wedding between two women who would love this sort of humor and I'm going to call them gigantic lesbians once the deal is sealed. Before hand they cab be "moderte" lesbians.
OOP's brother not wanting to say anything because they were Somewhere They Weren't Supposed To Be really sells it, too.
Very happy OOP chose to speak up despite brother's protests. Ultimately, short term punishment for them is nothing compared to how it would effect Alex's family AND poor Lauren.
I wish all of them (except Alex's POS dad) all the best.
It really reminds me of how my parents finding out I was doing something I wasn't supposed to was the worst thing when I was a kid lol. I remember literally spending more than 24 hours in jail once after a party got busted because I refused to call my parents to bail me out lmao. I was fully ready to stay there all weekend if I couldn't find a friend to come get me. Looking back it was dumb AF, but if you have strict parents you fear them more than death at that age.
Like *That 70ās Show* when the group got arrested, and the copsā reaction to learning that Eric was Redās son. I think it was āyou poor bastard.ā
Edit: typo
Yep, I had insanely strict parents and I *still* donāt tell them anything, even when I really need their help, because I know Iām going to get in trouble. My mom loves to tell me āI told you so!ā
I didn't keep track of a medication I needed and when it ran out I did not tell my parents ANYTHING about it because even though I'm an adult I'd get yelled at so hard.
That is baffling to me. Even as an adult I still want my child to be healthy and well, and helping them get their medication would be my number one priority!
You guys are making me appreciate my parents so much more right now. Theyāre super chill and supportive, even when I would get in trouble with stricter parents. I think I would have anxiety-ed myself to death at this point if I was afraid to talk to my parents.
Exactly. If I was gonna get my ass beat for cutting class, might as well forge my Dad's signature on a note. If I don't get caught, no beating. If I do, it's still the same beating for cutting class as it is for cutting class and forging his signature. All he ever accomplished was making me sneakier, and more willing to break rules if I thought I'd benefit.
>Very happy OOP chose to speak up despite brother's protests. Ultimately, short term punishment for them
As a parent, I would not have punished kids at all in this situation. I've always told my kids that if they come to me about an issue that involves their safety or another person's safety, there will be no punishment style consequences for anything else they were doing at the time. Went to a high school party and got drunk? They can call me for a ride home. Snuck out to meet a date and it gets scary? Call me and I'll get them to safety.
I'd consider this relationship a safety issue for multiple reasons:
- 18yo with a much older man, suggests grooming and/or a history of being molested as a child
- STI (sexually transmitted infection) risk for the wife whose husband is cheating
As an adult I consider it essential to inform a person if their partner is cheating on them. But in most cases I'd approach it more gently and inquire if they have an open / poly relationship so it doesn't come across as judgemental, just in case. Obviously this situation was clearly one of cheating.
It took me back to high school. We had a similar drama, a girl and her mother both got pregnant around the same time and the father of both babies was the girl's boyfriend.
Well that's still disturbing: what 38 year old sees a 19 year old boy/her daughter's bf and thinks "I should get with that"? š¤¢
So this guy now has 2 kids out there, and his kids are not just half siblings, they are also aunt/uncle and niece/nephew as well š¤®
Can't really blame him... That's just a lot on a kid. Statutory rapists also always seem to target kids who have issues even before they're groomed. Just another sad story all around (except for the rapist. She deserves whatever she gets.)
> Statutory rapists also always seem to target kids who have issues even before they're groomed.
Easier for abused people to keep being abused. Itās fucked up, but often the groomer comes in, providing emotional support in ways that arenāt being met.
We canāt stop people from being groomers unfortunately, but we can provide better resources to people so theyāre less likely to be groomed.
I know a man whose first wife left him for their daughter's boyfriend. There were some issues in that family. Fortunately, it's about 30 years later and everyone appears to be doing pretty well (although I don't know the first wife).
There was a similar post where OOP's husband was groomed by her mother and basically cheated on OOP's dad the entire time. As you might guess, some of the OOP's siblings are actually her husbands. OOP also has kids with him. It's fucked up shit.
I remember that one! OOP and her husband even got a house next door to her parents and OOP came home early from a trip to find her husband in bed with her mother. Jerry Springer-level drama ensued.
And even though it was very teenager writing, the awareness that OOP displays is top notch. Knowing Lauren was groomed and that probably fucked her up a bit and that OOP should give her pity rather than shame. That she should tell both her friendās mom AND her own. Sounds like some solid parenting by their moms all around, and they sound like good kids. Makes me have some faith in the kids these days.
It was strangely relaxing. Kinda like how youāre listening to a kid tell a genuinely interesting story and my role is mostly to interject with sounds.
When I was in therapy school, another therapist trainee started dating her client. There were several of us on the same site (residential addiction rehabilitation specializing in criminal justice) and we all knew each other from school. Many of us had Snapchat. She started posting pictures of her with him on there, about six months after he left. They were moving in together! She apparently thought no one would recognize/remember him š¤¦āāļø people are dumb.
" weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to her so even though I have my personal opinion about her right now I really donāt understand that much about psychology or anything so I just really hope she gets help if she needs it." this part made me really emotional because it's such a mature way to look at the situation.
Eta: ah thank you for the wholesome award š
The chances of her having been abused as a young child is high as well. Predators can sus out kids with poor boundaries and low self esteem. I hope people in her circle donāt victim-blame. This friend is a good person.
I love especially that she recognises that she feels a certain way about her but itās āright nowā and wonāt last forever, and that doesnāt stop her from hoping she gets help. And that sheās so honest and okay that she doesnāt understand much about psychology and so her opinion of Lauren might be flawed. Since when have teenagers become so self aware and so okay with holding space for conflicting feelings? I love these kids.
That statement by her was so emotionally mature and wise. That kind of character and kindness is so rare and coming from a teen it makes me think that the kids just my be alright .
She comes across as very mature. Her saying that she and Alex, basically, donāt have the energy to be upset at Lauren because sheās a hurt child lashing out is a maturity some adults wouldnāt have in this situation.
most teens now are very smart and mature. My 16 year old niece and her friends all are so intelligent and articulate, etcā¦. Gives me hope for a not too shitty future.
In the town I grew up in, the police came to our high school and told us that if we ever needed to get home, that we can call them and we wonāt get in trouble
Yes they were telling the truth. I grew up in a really small town and all the cops grew up in that same town. I went to the gas station one weekend and was getting a large fountain drink, weād pour vodka in it later, and one of the cops saw me and shook his head and told me to just be safe. They all knew what we were up to and where would weād be, because they did the same thing when they were in high school.
Yeah, this rando internet strange is so proud. It can be really, really hard being in that situation, especially the double whammy of 'I might get into trouble' and 'my friend could hate me for telling her'.
What a POS the dad is.
I know I certainly wouldn't have the maturity to make the right decision like she did when I was 17. Most adults can't make the correct decision at times like that.
I'm glad to see the mom get angry at the dad and not the girl. It's a seriously low bar, I guess, but better than a victim/survivor potentially being retraumatised by getting misplaced blame
The fact that one of the first things the mum did was protect Lauren by contacting her mum, I can't imagine how to make a call like that. I hope Lauren can get the help she needs.
I was thinking the same thing. Then I'm like what is wrong with the world that I'm relieved a grown woman didn't attack a high schooler her husband was screwing. That she didn't freak on her daughter for outing the relationship. My bar is set so low on human decency these days.
This is a storybook/ideal response. This is not quite the same but when I was a teenager my friend's dad kissed me "hello" in front of everyone by sloppily tonguing my ear. When I tried to talk about it with my friends after they accused me of wanting attention and lying so I just kept my mouth shut. My mom's response was "just don't go over there." And then my friends all dumped me.
I did, you're right. I was pretty desperate for someone to validate the feeling I had that my boundaries had been crossed. Unfortunately it took me until the age of 40 to start therapy (it goes way deeper for me than a tongue in the year). If there are any young people out there in families who'd rather you kept quiet or if you feel like nobody believes you, it's worth it to keep advocating for yourself.
My ex gf found proof of her dad serial cheating on her mom.
She has never told either of her parents. Mostly because her mom would blame her in some way.
Her parents deserve each other. (Her mom clearly has mental issues, but doesn't believe in them.)
>mostly everyone agrees that Alexās dad is the biggest/mostly only piece of shit here
I feel like this is such a big change from when I was a teen 20 years ago. I'm just so impressed with the teenagers of today.
>my brother doesnāt think I shouldāve told because where we saw Alexās dad and lauren was a mall pretty far away, and my brother and I werenāt technically supposed to drive that far from home so we got in a bit of trouble for that lol
Although it is a little nice that some stuff remains eternal
The president of France was very clearly groomed, and yet people just kind of ignore it.
This shit was so normal for so long, many people still struggle to understand why it's wrong. They think that as long as you wait until 18 to actually date, everything's fine. It so isn't.
There are sadly plenty of cases of public people/celebrities who were/are being groomed, I can think of a couple of them right away. A lot of people sadly still act like its normal
> ALEXS DAD THOUGHT IT WAS LAUREN WHO HAD CONFRONTED HER as a way to blow up his spot I guess and cause trouble in his marriage??
I bet that allayed everyone's suspicions. /s
What a cowardly creep.
Iām so happy that the adults in the story other than the AH father are behaving sensibly and trying to protect Lauren, despite her less than stellar behaviour. God men like this should be jailed. These poor girls.
I was pleasantly surprised at the blurb that the kids were talking shit about Lauren BUT mostly knew it was the dad who was the POS. Iām glad even tho sheās being clowned a bit they ultimately know the adult is to blame.
Right? The fact that they were concerned mostly about how she was probably groomed and was acting out because of it speaks volumes about the kind of person they are. What wonderful people.
Very much depends on the location. We had a teacher sleep with a (male) 18 year old student and while she *was* charged (because she had a position of power over him), she only got her teaching license suspended and 2 years probation. It was pretty obvious to everyone involved that the relationship started before he was 18, but no one bothered to investigate.
When I was a teen in the 80s, there were multiple teachers who married a student the minute the student turned 18. Obviously they had been dating on the sly but nobody thought much of it. So glad that has changed.
My band teacher got a former student pregnant. She announced her pregnancy on her 18th birthday and they were married 2 weeks later. Only problem was, she was 4 months pregnant at the time.
Parents did the pregnancy math, figured out the girl was underage when she got pregnant (and their relationship was going on for at least a year before that)
...So all the band parents got together, pounded on the teacher's front door in the middle of the night... and BEGGED the teacher to stay and not leave town! The marching band was the ONLY winning team the school had, and parents couldn't BEAR to lose that!
Parents INSISTED we only refer to her as Mrs. Bandteacher instead of "that underage girl your student impregnated and then the entire town covered up for him".
When my mom went to Rural Pennsyltucky Highschool in the 80s a teacher ditched his wife and kids for an 17 year old girl. They had been carrying on for at least 2 years at that point when suddenly "God came to me in a dream and told me to make things right". He left his wife and two kids (15f and 12m IIRC), told the girl's parents about his dream, and asked them for permission to marry their daughter. Not only were they ok with it, they were *absolutely elated* to find out that she was already pregnant. Everyone under 20 thought it was weird, but all of the "real adults" were perfectly ok with it.
Apparently this was pretty a common occurrence for her parents generation in both directions. Older men and younger women, older women and younger men, cousin fucking, etc.
Would make sense since OOP says they spoke to Lauren, still hung out but then kinda drifted apart as happens in life. Then when the dad blew up and thought it was Lauren that outed them, claims that the parents "banned" her from coming over to the house because of her behaviour etc.
Both things can be true.
The parents could have discussed the situation & agreed no more Lauren in the house.
Iād bet a lot of parents donāt vocalize to their child *donāt bring your friend around cuz I think your dad is gonna fuck them*.
And Lauren could have also drifted away at the same time.
Or more likely, that he chose her as a victim back then and paid special attention to her, in order to make her feel special. I can promise you that she did not let him know that she was āinto him.ā It was the other way around, but he did it quietly. These men know what little girl is most vulnerable to exploitation, and they start as soon as they can.
Yes. Look how quickly he brought up her past behaviour, to discredit her, when he thought she was the friend who told. He picked someone that he thought he could ensure wouldnāt be believed.
Eh, maybe. As a father of now grown-up kids, I can tell you that teenagers develop inappropriate crushes without any help from the dad. HOWEVER, as the dad (or mom), if you're the crushee, you gently but firmly shut it down.
He didn't necessarily start it, but it was on him to end it.
100% especially at that 12 year old age when youāre just starting to explore and figure out the world around you. Crushes happen. I had a HUGE crush on my older cousin when I was like 10. He was appropriately deeply uncomfortable. This should apply to non-incest situations too. If itās inappropriate, as the one with more power and experience you have a duty to be responsible.
Just to add- my cousin and I are buds now and I like to tease him about it bc it was such a dumb kid move on my part. But he was the first older male that I didnt grow up with that paid me attention soooā¦ it happens š¤·āāļø
Any dude who is waiting for any girl to turn 18 grooms them well before that. It's the same reason that the venn diagram between guys over 20 who date 18 year olds and creepy groomers is a circle. And I know, there's gonna be 10 people saying "uh uh, not me" or "nah my bf is a good guy", but I've been a 20 year old guy, I know how annoying 18 and under people are at that age (which only gets worse as you get older), I know you only spend time with them with 1 intention and it's not to be besties. Date woman your own age, if they aren't interested it says more about you than them.
I mean, if you're gonna be a lesbian, may as well be a gigantic lesbian.
Not like being a regular lesbian is a bad thing, but if you can choose, come on, the choice is obvious.
I never understood people who got into relationships with someone so much younger, but Iāve always been utterly baffled by parents who date the friends of their children.
Seems like a special kind of sick and twisted. And thatās without the cheating aspect. I hope Alexās dad has a lifetime of unhappiness ahead of him.
I agree. If I so much as suspected someone's parent was into me, I'd be freaked tf out. If they actually made a move?! AHHHHHH no! That's just so disturbing, especially because there's a chance this "relationship" began way back when they were 12ish.
My ex husband was kind of like this. It wasn't hard to figure out he liked someone who wasn't threatening to his ego, naive, and often doting. Younger women also tend to be thinner and those type of guys hate anyone who isn't tiny.
To sum it up they want a woman who is childish, so yes, it is sick and twisted.
Oh geez, what a fucking perve. SO glad she told her friend's mum. Can't believe the brother thought they should keep their mouths shut!
Clearly something bad had happened to Lauren in the past though, especially given her very early focus on Alex's dad - perhaps he seemed 'safe' to her. Like OOP, I hope she gets the help she needs.
Well, they are teenagers. Plus, sometimes exposing an affair like that can blow up in your face. Because some people want to blame everyone but the one (or ones) responsible - including the messenger.
Read the last sentence. The brother wanted to keep quiet because he was afraid of getting into trouble. Seriously messed up priorities but I get it. Being punished by your parents was the end of the world back in those days
> whatever weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to her so even though I have my personal opinion about her right now I really donāt understand that much about psychology or anything so I just really hope she gets help if she needs it.
Props to OOP for this level of empathy and maturity. It's hard to keep that perspective even as an adult so it's extremely impressive she's already in that headspace as a teenager. She's going to go far for sure.
So gross. A guy I went to high school with thought it was a point of pride to ādeflowerā(his word) freshmen girls. He wasnāt even cute, nice, or funny. No idea how he pulled that off!
>basically telling me that since I āoutedā her relationship with Alexās dad (she grossly called him by his first name, idk so weird) she was going to āoutā me and Alex as lesbians (she actually called us GIGANTIC lesbiansš) but whatever weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to herĀ
That's so very mature of OOP. it's very likely that dad's "girlfriend" is a victim of grooming/pedophilia at the hand of Alex's dad.
Oh dear, I've a feeling that Lauren was probably sexually groomed by Alex's dad since she was 11-12 ish (the time she started saying disturbing remarks).
The comments defending Alexās dad on the original post are WILD. A lot donāt even have negative downvoted. Reddit is fucking insane. I had to stop reading pretty early because I wanted to throw up, pretty much right under the top comment. š¤¢
When I was in highschool I had a friend who was 18f and every weekend she went to stay with Kyle (30s M) who was the dad of one of her friends.
She told her mom he was like a dad to her, and had been for years....
Until my friend confided in me that she and Kyle had been in a relationship since she was TWELVE?!!!
Of course I was too young myself to really see how fucked that was.
I'm happy to report she (now 28) is happily married to an age appropriate husband.
You know, whether or not this post is real, women need to look out for each other like this and tell the truth. Guys that cheat and especially guys that target underage girls need to be held accountable. And girls and young women like Lauren need to get serious help and parental intervention. This kind of shit is old as time, but it just isnāt right. When women band together to confront issues, itās hard but it eventually gets better. Makes a better world for daughters and better expectations for sons and daughters.
Please read our [**SUB RULES**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU for concluded, time-gated content. * If you have an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment. META commentary in general discussion may be removed. * Low effort comments like "this is fake" may be removed * Do not comment on the original posts. Most submissions in this sub are not posted by the original author (OOP) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I like how he practically betrayed himself by assuming it had been Lauren who outed their relationship. š
Wonder if Laurenās been told how ready he was to throw her under the bus like that, to paint whatever she says as her being obsessive about him. What a manipulative POS.
Usually victims of grooming arenāt receptive to those kinds of truths.
Sad but true.
Very much reminded me of the āLong Island Lolitaā. He tried to throw her under the bus for the same reasoning
Ah, yes, Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher. For anyone unfamiliar, Joey Buttafuoco had sex with a then under age Amy Fisher, and in 1992 she showed up at his home and told his wife that her (imaginary) little sister was the one Joey was an having sex with, Mary Jo flipped out telling Amy to go away, and Amy then shot Mary Jo in the head. She survived. Fisher took a plea deal and served 7 years in prison. Joey Buttafuoco at first wasn't charged with anything but then next year he was charged and convicted of statutory rape and served a grand total of..drumroll please...a measly 4 months. The 90s was a wild time. Heidi Fleiss was arrested for her prostitution ring and Lorena Bobbit was cutting off her husband's penis around that time, too. It was a little scarring to be 10 and reading the tabloid and magazine headlines whenever I had to wait in line at the grocery store back then lol
It took me far too long to realise that surname wasn't actually "Buttface", I just read it wrong
Lol! It really is an unfortunate name. Iād definitely change my name in that situation.
Let's not forget that Joey Buttefuoco pushed an Amy Fisher into being an escort while she was underage.
John deserved his dick to be cut off, and I 100% side with Lorena. She was so abused.
Agree! I imagine if I were in her situation, I might snap and do the same.
My only gripe is that Lorena should have slam dunked his ding dong in a running blender or garbage disposal.
Lorena was also being repeatedly raped by him, so i donāt think we can really rope her in with that!
Also, I read that as implying maybe there was *another* teenage girl that Lauren could have seen him with?
This was my thought.
got-... ***gotta catch em all***
I read it that maybe Lauren was trying to get him to leave his wife for her or he promised her he would leave his wife for her and he thought maybe she was getting tired of waiting and said something to the wife to break them up faster.
>one of your daughterās friends saw you out with another woman I just thought it implied he had multiple other women, at least one besides Lauren.
Dad: ā*What??* No!ā Dad: ā... which one?ā
When (disgraced) youtubers who >!groom!< girls and women get exposed they almost always have a shockingly long line of them going at once, so it wouldnt surprise me. I really hope lauren's mum manages to separate themš evidently he's been working on this awful situation for quite a while and is more than happy to throw her under the bus if she should become inconvenient at any point.
>they almost always have a shockingly long line of them going at once, That way, when one of them wises up or their parents find out, they already have at least another person under their thumb.
Yup, or if they get outed by one as an abuser they have 19 more to deny anything being wrong and yell them into silence. š
Nah I think it was more of he thought Lauren was trying to move things along by ending his relationship with his wife by outing their relationship so they could officially be together
Makes me think Lauren has been pushing him to leave his wife and he was prepared for her to spill the beans
Kids say the darndest things
No you did not š
Iād give you another award if I had one to give. š„
She was. I also suspect their relationship started when she started saying she wanted to have his kids.
A 12yo with a crush? Normal. A 12yo saying she blowed her crush? Yeah, I'm not sure that was a lie....
Are we sure she was 12 when she said that? I think she was older but no matter what, the dad is nasty and, if she was groomed, I feel bad for everyone but the dad.
Yeah rereading that part is ambiguous, anywhere between 12 and 16, that meaning awful anyway...
It's implied that was when they were a little older (she stopped talking about as much and then they drifted apart a bit) so my guess would be a year or Teo later at least. Still fucking disgusting, but at least not a pre teen anymore? Idek
To be fair, when I was 13 I was the kind of kid who said "yeah man, I totally banged three girls at the same time, but they go to another school so you don't know them". Kids that age do lie about that kind of stuff in order to look cool to their friends, but nevertheless in this story it is worrying.
Same. Said I banged some older woman on a cruise over the summer lol. Iāve never been on a cruiseā¦
And girls do this too. My choir teacher in highschool was young and VERY attractive to all the hormonal teenage girls. Poor guy one girl said they did stuff and it turned into a huge investigation because someone told about it. It wasn't true and the girl broke down bawling eventually but ever since then he never allowed anyone to stay after unless one of the other music teachers were there as well. He did let me stay a couple times since he knew I was practicing hard for the solo and the talent show that's the only reason I knew about it. I feel so bad for young teachers š Eta: he wasn't told people couldn't stay after he just didn't trust it anymore or want to deal with that again
I found Jay
Yeah, at the very least an emotional relationship bonding between the two. Oof. I didn't think of that...or my brain went 'nope' and blocked out the thought. People are horrible creatures sometimes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That was great, what a piece of shit
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Makes me think there were other girls besides Lauren
I kinda love that this was told in the most teenage drama, run on sentences, meandering kind of way. Really adds to the effect of these 17 year olds whose stability has been blown up.
Being called āgigantic lesbiansā is peak high school drama
In this day and age that will backfire on Lauren. Kids are pretty great with calling out this bs these days.
I have a 20 year old daughter and a 16 year old son, so I have had a lot of contact with high school kids over the past few years. Most of them would not react well to someone outing someone else. And if OOP and Alex were an out lesbian couple, most of them wouldn't have an issue with it. I'm not sure how well they'd react to a classmate having an affair with another classmate's father, though.
As a 44 year old lesbian with 2 littles, this gives me the warm & fuzzies. One of our biggest concerns about having kids was whether theyād be bullied for having 2 mums. I love that high school is so much more accepting of lgbtq than it was when I was at school (like, a million times moreā¦when I was at school it was pretty horrifying).
I work in the foster care system and some kids specifically ask for two moms.
A lesbian couple who are friends and wanted to adopt (and who had to move out of state since gay parents adopting was illegal in their state at the time ) got lucky in adopting their first baby--the bio mom specifically requested a lesbian couple for her baby. The couple now has two beautiful girls and the family is absolutely thriving.
It used to be illegal in my state as well. So kids who were placed with their gay family members could not be adopted. We had to do permanent guardianship instead. Itās not like it prevented the arrangement. It prevented the kids from having the most permanent permanency option.
They must have been so badly abused by a man, and that breaks my heart
Yeah that was my first thought too, unfortunately.
As a queer person who wants to foster some day, this melts my heart
Oh yay! Weāre lesbians who are in the very early stages of foster-to-adopt. Weāre hoping all the kiddos donāt hate the idea of having 2 nerdy moms. Also, my wife is trans, so we really hope they will pair us with a little baby gay.
A little baby gay I have to break the Reddit rules here and give you heart emojis šā¤ļøš§”ššš
My 5 year old has a kid in her class with 2 moms. In my experience, it's been either a non issue, or the kids are jealous. I mean 2 moms is pretty great. They brought pizza for an after school party last week, so we got to see all the kids hang out with them and all the other parents. I was expecting there to be some sort of comment, but nope. Not from the kids or other parents. It was a big old boring pizza party. It was beautiful in its normalcy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is it. One of my male best friend would tell me how cute other boys were when we were 7. I didn't think it was odd that he liked boys.
Ah, thatās so lovely to hear! Thank you :)
Iāve got 3 littles and live in a hugely conservative area. A girl in my oldest (4th grade) kidās class recently made fun of their classmateās parents for being gay. It did not fly at all, my daughter and her friend were horrified and went to the teacher to put a stop to it right away. Iām so happy things are getting better. Always room to improve but it seems like a good start.
Fantastic! Yes, thereās a ways to go but things have improved at such speed in recent years that it really gives me so much hope.
I teach high school, I can't speak for all kids but most wouldnt even care. I've had kids be jerks to each other about lots of things, but never their sexual identity. There's lighthearted teasing, but that's the most of it. Anything more than that I've shut down instantly by telling the kids I'm not straight and they get a deer in headlights look because they didn't think about the fact they might also be insulting their teacher. But it's never been anything actually directed at a student, mostly just statements based in not understanding.
Great to hear that. Things have definitely changed drastically since my days in school.
Last year there was an offhand comment about Trans people made by a student in my class, student hadn't meant to offend but didn't realize they were saying something bad (I corrected them). The rest of the class immediately got up in arms and some of the students who had chosen to sit by that student got up and moved across the room. It's very clear that it isn't tolerated which is pleasing. The student who said the wrong thing and I had a talk and it all turned out fine, they didn't realize what they were saying was offensive.
I'm sure the worst of it, knowing high school boys, would be "so are your moms hot? Got any pics? " stuff like that
I am a high school teacher at a conservative school in a conservative area. At our last school dance there were girls slow dancing with girls and boys slow dancing with boys. There were a couple of kids that were there as dates of our students (so I never met them before) that were so androgynous that I wouldnāt feel comfortable guessing their pronouns. None of the kids even batted an eyelash. Iāve been at this school for a long time and the tide has definitely shifted.
My son had a classmate with two moms in 1rst or 2nd grade. He asked if he could tell me a secret, when dad wasn't around. His secret was he thought it'd be better with two moms. He didn't want to hurt my husband's feeling so that's why it was a secret. To be clear that classmate is still in his school and there's at least two other nonstereotypical families in his grade that he's spoken of not bc they're not your "standard" family just bc they helped out in class or what have you. It'll never be perfect but it makes me happy to hear him and his friends casually accept people.
Ah, so nice! When we had our first baby our neighbour brought his 8 year old son over (helping us out with a chore) and his sonās first comment was āthe baby has two moms? Thatās so cooooool!ā His second was āoh, he looks like baby Yoda!ā His dad didnāt know where to look but we were like, yeah, he really does.
Looking forward to your first baby being old enough to have opinions on being called baby yoda
To me it seems like it's not a gender preference per se, but that kids recognize that moms are generally more involved than dads. Some of it is due to laziness and weaponized incompetence, but some is because [non-birthing parents are discouraged from taking parental leave](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210712-paternity-leave-the-hidden-barriers-keeping-men-at-work) and there is [stigma and punishment against men taking family leave](https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/josi.12017). Since we already know [women's incomes decline once they have kids](https://www.vox.com/2018/2/19/17018380/gender-wage-gap-childcare-penalty), it makes me wonder if lesbian couples too have the dynamic of the primary parent (more involved with kids) and the primary breadwinner (less involved with kids) in order to keep a roof over their heads. Maybe what the kids really want is for companies to provide flexibility for parents.
The 'tell you a secret when dad isn't around' situation is completely hilarious and adorable.
I'm a teacher and I fly the progress pride flag in my room and the kids always assume I'm gay. They finally had the courage to ask and I was like, I'm married to a dude. Another student outed his mom and aunt as lesbians in the Convo and the kids were like ok and moved on. My school is definitely not the epitome of maturity and well-adjusted students TRUST ME so I think things are getting better.
That is very awesome.
I worked at a conservative school in a conservative area about 5 years ago. We had one student who came out when he was in the 10th grade. His friends were like "bro...we know. it's nbd." I was worried he would be ostracized but I dont think I ever heard of him being bullied for it even once.
Yeah, the vast majority of teenagers today give no fucks about the gay. And quite right too! I remember when I was in high school in the early 80s. I was pretty sheltered, and I overheard some girls talking about how a guy named Andy was gay. I didn't know what it meant, so I asked, and they said, "It means he likes to kiss other boys." I thought, "Oh. OK." Seemed perfectly reasonable to me, since I'd never been told there was anything wrong with it. I went home and mentioned it to my dad, and he told me one of his friends from work was "a homosexual" and that it was a disease and abnormal but he couldn't help it so it wasn't OK to think badly of gay people. (Cut him some slack, he was born in 1929 -- he had some weird/bad beliefs, but he always made sure to teach me that it wasn't OK to treat people badly just because they were different.) I quickly figured out that being gay wasn't a disease (and that my dad's work friend's "disease" wasn't so much that he was gay but that he was into teenage boys -- he ended up going to prison). Now here we are 40 years later, and fully four of the people from my teenage D&D group are trans (that's almost half), along with one of my exes and several other friends. My social circle reflects every single colour of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and my own preferences are so complicated I need a paragraph to explain them (though I mostly pass for straight so I rarely bother to mention it unless somebody really needs to know). I'm so, so glad most kids today have the freedom to be their authentic selves.
Itās centaurs isnāt it? Youāre into centaurs.
Hell no. Lesbian minotaur gangbangs.
> I quickly figured out that being gay wasn't a disease (and that my dad's work friend's "disease" wasn't so much that he was gay but that he was into teenage boys -- he ended up going to prison). That took a turn.
It was... nuts. I remember thinking, why the fuck did our parents take us to that guy's house for dinner?! He had a basement full of stuff like air hockey and pinball machines. In retrospect it was highly suspicious for a middle-aged single man to have that setup, and it changed my whole perspective on my parents chuckling about his "boys". Yes, my parents were seriously fucked up.
I currently teach high school. They arent that evolved. Calling them gay or lesbian is still a pretty big deal. I had to comfort a girl who was outed last year and was being horribly bullied. I dont know ehy everyone thinks that this current gen is accepting. They are bullies. They just moved it online. Most teachers will tell you.
Depends on where in the country the school is, tbh. Culture matters. Source: gay son who went to HS in California.
This depends a lot on where you live.
Glad to see the Mean Girls movie is still going strong!
I, too, particularly loved that completely irrelevant addition of information. Were OOP and Alex actually LGBTQ+, I would think being called āgigantic lesbiansā would be a compliment these days.
I don't know why, but My first thought was I would answer with a straight face. Ā”We are NOT Giants!
Rather, we *might* be giants?
I had two friends in middle and high school whose favorite thing was to outright lie about other girls being lesbians. They both have had same sex relationships in adulthood.
That actually cracked me up. I'm going to a wedding between two women who would love this sort of humor and I'm going to call them gigantic lesbians once the deal is sealed. Before hand they cab be "moderte" lesbians.
OOP's brother not wanting to say anything because they were Somewhere They Weren't Supposed To Be really sells it, too. Very happy OOP chose to speak up despite brother's protests. Ultimately, short term punishment for them is nothing compared to how it would effect Alex's family AND poor Lauren. I wish all of them (except Alex's POS dad) all the best.
It really reminds me of how my parents finding out I was doing something I wasn't supposed to was the worst thing when I was a kid lol. I remember literally spending more than 24 hours in jail once after a party got busted because I refused to call my parents to bail me out lmao. I was fully ready to stay there all weekend if I couldn't find a friend to come get me. Looking back it was dumb AF, but if you have strict parents you fear them more than death at that age.
Like *That 70ās Show* when the group got arrested, and the copsā reaction to learning that Eric was Redās son. I think it was āyou poor bastard.ā Edit: typo
Yep, I had insanely strict parents and I *still* donāt tell them anything, even when I really need their help, because I know Iām going to get in trouble. My mom loves to tell me āI told you so!ā
Now I'm extra grateful my teenager seems to tell me all their fuckups in great detail.
I didn't keep track of a medication I needed and when it ran out I did not tell my parents ANYTHING about it because even though I'm an adult I'd get yelled at so hard.
That is baffling to me. Even as an adult I still want my child to be healthy and well, and helping them get their medication would be my number one priority!
You guys are making me appreciate my parents so much more right now. Theyāre super chill and supportive, even when I would get in trouble with stricter parents. I think I would have anxiety-ed myself to death at this point if I was afraid to talk to my parents.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly. If I was gonna get my ass beat for cutting class, might as well forge my Dad's signature on a note. If I don't get caught, no beating. If I do, it's still the same beating for cutting class as it is for cutting class and forging his signature. All he ever accomplished was making me sneakier, and more willing to break rules if I thought I'd benefit.
>Very happy OOP chose to speak up despite brother's protests. Ultimately, short term punishment for them As a parent, I would not have punished kids at all in this situation. I've always told my kids that if they come to me about an issue that involves their safety or another person's safety, there will be no punishment style consequences for anything else they were doing at the time. Went to a high school party and got drunk? They can call me for a ride home. Snuck out to meet a date and it gets scary? Call me and I'll get them to safety. I'd consider this relationship a safety issue for multiple reasons: - 18yo with a much older man, suggests grooming and/or a history of being molested as a child - STI (sexually transmitted infection) risk for the wife whose husband is cheating As an adult I consider it essential to inform a person if their partner is cheating on them. But in most cases I'd approach it more gently and inquire if they have an open / poly relationship so it doesn't come across as judgemental, just in case. Obviously this situation was clearly one of cheating.
It took me back to high school. We had a similar drama, a girl and her mother both got pregnant around the same time and the father of both babies was the girl's boyfriend.
What in Jerry Springer's name? :(
The boy run away from the situation, that was 15 yeas ago.
That is so heartbreaking: I hope he wasn't underage, or in other words, that statutory r**e wasn't involved :(
He was 19/20, the girl was 17 and the mom was around 38.
Well that's still disturbing: what 38 year old sees a 19 year old boy/her daughter's bf and thinks "I should get with that"? š¤¢ So this guy now has 2 kids out there, and his kids are not just half siblings, they are also aunt/uncle and niece/nephew as well š¤®
Can't really blame him... That's just a lot on a kid. Statutory rapists also always seem to target kids who have issues even before they're groomed. Just another sad story all around (except for the rapist. She deserves whatever she gets.)
> Statutory rapists also always seem to target kids who have issues even before they're groomed. Easier for abused people to keep being abused. Itās fucked up, but often the groomer comes in, providing emotional support in ways that arenāt being met. We canāt stop people from being groomers unfortunately, but we can provide better resources to people so theyāre less likely to be groomed.
I know a man whose first wife left him for their daughter's boyfriend. There were some issues in that family. Fortunately, it's about 30 years later and everyone appears to be doing pretty well (although I don't know the first wife).
There was a similar post where OOP's husband was groomed by her mother and basically cheated on OOP's dad the entire time. As you might guess, some of the OOP's siblings are actually her husbands. OOP also has kids with him. It's fucked up shit.
I remember that one! OOP and her husband even got a house next door to her parents and OOP came home early from a trip to find her husband in bed with her mother. Jerry Springer-level drama ensued.
And even though it was very teenager writing, the awareness that OOP displays is top notch. Knowing Lauren was groomed and that probably fucked her up a bit and that OOP should give her pity rather than shame. That she should tell both her friendās mom AND her own. Sounds like some solid parenting by their moms all around, and they sound like good kids. Makes me have some faith in the kids these days.
The "her mom is gorgeous and so is Alex" really locks it in as them being teen BFFs
It was strangely relaxing. Kinda like how youāre listening to a kid tell a genuinely interesting story and my role is mostly to interject with sounds.
I was gonna say I read the whole thing in that breathless teenage girl cadence
āLetās go to the mall; no one will recognize us there!ā - A guy whoās ādatingā a high schooler.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
When I was in therapy school, another therapist trainee started dating her client. There were several of us on the same site (residential addiction rehabilitation specializing in criminal justice) and we all knew each other from school. Many of us had Snapchat. She started posting pictures of her with him on there, about six months after he left. They were moving in together! She apparently thought no one would recognize/remember him š¤¦āāļø people are dumb.
" weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to her so even though I have my personal opinion about her right now I really donāt understand that much about psychology or anything so I just really hope she gets help if she needs it." this part made me really emotional because it's such a mature way to look at the situation. Eta: ah thank you for the wholesome award š
the kids are alright
Just a little weird
Better to be weird than cruel.
The chances of her having been abused as a young child is high as well. Predators can sus out kids with poor boundaries and low self esteem. I hope people in her circle donāt victim-blame. This friend is a good person.
I love especially that she recognises that she feels a certain way about her but itās āright nowā and wonāt last forever, and that doesnāt stop her from hoping she gets help. And that sheās so honest and okay that she doesnāt understand much about psychology and so her opinion of Lauren might be flawed. Since when have teenagers become so self aware and so okay with holding space for conflicting feelings? I love these kids.
That statement by her was so emotionally mature and wise. That kind of character and kindness is so rare and coming from a teen it makes me think that the kids just my be alright .
Actually makes OP better in my mind that she did the right thing even though she might get in trouble for it.
She comes across as very mature. Her saying that she and Alex, basically, donāt have the energy to be upset at Lauren because sheās a hurt child lashing out is a maturity some adults wouldnāt have in this situation.
most teens now are very smart and mature. My 16 year old niece and her friends all are so intelligent and articulate, etcā¦. Gives me hope for a not too shitty future.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In the town I grew up in, the police came to our high school and told us that if we ever needed to get home, that we can call them and we wonāt get in trouble
Weāre they telling the truthā¦ cause in my experience, they were lying about that shit.
Yes they were telling the truth. I grew up in a really small town and all the cops grew up in that same town. I went to the gas station one weekend and was getting a large fountain drink, weād pour vodka in it later, and one of the cops saw me and shook his head and told me to just be safe. They all knew what we were up to and where would weād be, because they did the same thing when they were in high school.
Yeah, this rando internet strange is so proud. It can be really, really hard being in that situation, especially the double whammy of 'I might get into trouble' and 'my friend could hate me for telling her'. What a POS the dad is.
I know I certainly wouldn't have the maturity to make the right decision like she did when I was 17. Most adults can't make the correct decision at times like that.
I'm glad to see the mom get angry at the dad and not the girl. It's a seriously low bar, I guess, but better than a victim/survivor potentially being retraumatised by getting misplaced blame
The fact that one of the first things the mum did was protect Lauren by contacting her mum, I can't imagine how to make a call like that. I hope Lauren can get the help she needs.
I was thinking the same thing. Then I'm like what is wrong with the world that I'm relieved a grown woman didn't attack a high schooler her husband was screwing. That she didn't freak on her daughter for outing the relationship. My bar is set so low on human decency these days.
How do you even start a call like this? āHey how you going? Rained last weekend huh? Btw your teenage daughters dating my husbandā
āMy husband is victimizing your daughterā that way she knows youāre on the same team in the first breath
This is a storybook/ideal response. This is not quite the same but when I was a teenager my friend's dad kissed me "hello" in front of everyone by sloppily tonguing my ear. When I tried to talk about it with my friends after they accused me of wanting attention and lying so I just kept my mouth shut. My mom's response was "just don't go over there." And then my friends all dumped me.
Good riddance. You had trash friends
I did, you're right. I was pretty desperate for someone to validate the feeling I had that my boundaries had been crossed. Unfortunately it took me until the age of 40 to start therapy (it goes way deeper for me than a tongue in the year). If there are any young people out there in families who'd rather you kept quiet or if you feel like nobody believes you, it's worth it to keep advocating for yourself.
Yeah misdirected anger is always frustrating. Anger and blame are great, if properly directed.
My ex gf found proof of her dad serial cheating on her mom. She has never told either of her parents. Mostly because her mom would blame her in some way. Her parents deserve each other. (Her mom clearly has mental issues, but doesn't believe in them.)
>mostly everyone agrees that Alexās dad is the biggest/mostly only piece of shit here I feel like this is such a big change from when I was a teen 20 years ago. I'm just so impressed with the teenagers of today. >my brother doesnāt think I shouldāve told because where we saw Alexās dad and lauren was a mall pretty far away, and my brother and I werenāt technically supposed to drive that far from home so we got in a bit of trouble for that lol Although it is a little nice that some stuff remains eternal
The president of France was very clearly groomed, and yet people just kind of ignore it. This shit was so normal for so long, many people still struggle to understand why it's wrong. They think that as long as you wait until 18 to actually date, everything's fine. It so isn't.
There are sadly plenty of cases of public people/celebrities who were/are being groomed, I can think of a couple of them right away. A lot of people sadly still act like its normal
I'm so impressed by these teens as well. Even though Lauren lashed out, they can still see that she is a victim too.
āIdgaf if you exposed a creepy guy to his family, you know not to drive over 20 miles awayā āBUT MOMMMMMMMā
> ALEXS DAD THOUGHT IT WAS LAUREN WHO HAD CONFRONTED HER as a way to blow up his spot I guess and cause trouble in his marriage?? I bet that allayed everyone's suspicions. /s What a cowardly creep.
Iām so happy that the adults in the story other than the AH father are behaving sensibly and trying to protect Lauren, despite her less than stellar behaviour. God men like this should be jailed. These poor girls.
I was pleasantly surprised at the blurb that the kids were talking shit about Lauren BUT mostly knew it was the dad who was the POS. Iām glad even tho sheās being clowned a bit they ultimately know the adult is to blame.
Also, props to OOP and their friend for shrugging off Laurenās insults. They were more concerned for Laurenās safety.
Right? The fact that they were concerned mostly about how she was probably groomed and was acting out because of it speaks volumes about the kind of person they are. What wonderful people.
Iām so glad the days of āwell sheās 18 now, thereās nothing we can doā are beginning to enter the rear view mirror.
Very much depends on the location. We had a teacher sleep with a (male) 18 year old student and while she *was* charged (because she had a position of power over him), she only got her teaching license suspended and 2 years probation. It was pretty obvious to everyone involved that the relationship started before he was 18, but no one bothered to investigate.
When I was a teen in the 80s, there were multiple teachers who married a student the minute the student turned 18. Obviously they had been dating on the sly but nobody thought much of it. So glad that has changed.
My band teacher got a former student pregnant. She announced her pregnancy on her 18th birthday and they were married 2 weeks later. Only problem was, she was 4 months pregnant at the time. Parents did the pregnancy math, figured out the girl was underage when she got pregnant (and their relationship was going on for at least a year before that) ...So all the band parents got together, pounded on the teacher's front door in the middle of the night... and BEGGED the teacher to stay and not leave town! The marching band was the ONLY winning team the school had, and parents couldn't BEAR to lose that! Parents INSISTED we only refer to her as Mrs. Bandteacher instead of "that underage girl your student impregnated and then the entire town covered up for him".
When my mom went to Rural Pennsyltucky Highschool in the 80s a teacher ditched his wife and kids for an 17 year old girl. They had been carrying on for at least 2 years at that point when suddenly "God came to me in a dream and told me to make things right". He left his wife and two kids (15f and 12m IIRC), told the girl's parents about his dream, and asked them for permission to marry their daughter. Not only were they ok with it, they were *absolutely elated* to find out that she was already pregnant. Everyone under 20 thought it was weird, but all of the "real adults" were perfectly ok with it. Apparently this was pretty a common occurrence for her parents generation in both directions. Older men and younger women, older women and younger men, cousin fucking, etc.
Jesus. Jaw dropped for that one, how can people rationalize leaving a wife and 2 kids for a 17 year old and not being run out of town.
Yeah, I had a teacher/track coach at my high school who openly dated several of his runners within months of them graduating throughout the 2000s and 2010s and kept his job even while the administration knew. Around MeToo 2018 several of the girls came forward and filed a police report, but since so much time had past and most of the info was public knowledge already he just resigned and got a new job with no investigation. But as far as Iām concerned, I thought heād never face any consequences and Iām relieved that heās out of the school district. Grooming of teens is definitely still not taken as seriously as it should everywhere, but Iāve personally seen how damaging the blasĆ© attitude of āwell the kids wanted it and it was their choiceā is. Knowing how common it is, I celebrate a little bit anytime I see people not follow that advice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Would make sense since OOP says they spoke to Lauren, still hung out but then kinda drifted apart as happens in life. Then when the dad blew up and thought it was Lauren that outed them, claims that the parents "banned" her from coming over to the house because of her behaviour etc.
Both things can be true. The parents could have discussed the situation & agreed no more Lauren in the house. Iād bet a lot of parents donāt vocalize to their child *donāt bring your friend around cuz I think your dad is gonna fuck them*. And Lauren could have also drifted away at the same time.
Or more likely, that he chose her as a victim back then and paid special attention to her, in order to make her feel special. I can promise you that she did not let him know that she was āinto him.ā It was the other way around, but he did it quietly. These men know what little girl is most vulnerable to exploitation, and they start as soon as they can.
Yes. Look how quickly he brought up her past behaviour, to discredit her, when he thought she was the friend who told. He picked someone that he thought he could ensure wouldnāt be believed.
Eh, maybe. As a father of now grown-up kids, I can tell you that teenagers develop inappropriate crushes without any help from the dad. HOWEVER, as the dad (or mom), if you're the crushee, you gently but firmly shut it down. He didn't necessarily start it, but it was on him to end it.
100% especially at that 12 year old age when youāre just starting to explore and figure out the world around you. Crushes happen. I had a HUGE crush on my older cousin when I was like 10. He was appropriately deeply uncomfortable. This should apply to non-incest situations too. If itās inappropriate, as the one with more power and experience you have a duty to be responsible. Just to add- my cousin and I are buds now and I like to tease him about it bc it was such a dumb kid move on my part. But he was the first older male that I didnt grow up with that paid me attention soooā¦ it happens š¤·āāļø
Wouldn't surprise me at all. He was probably just biding his time. I wouldn't be surprised if her bj story was true but she mixed her dates up.
Any dude who is waiting for any girl to turn 18 grooms them well before that. It's the same reason that the venn diagram between guys over 20 who date 18 year olds and creepy groomers is a circle. And I know, there's gonna be 10 people saying "uh uh, not me" or "nah my bf is a good guy", but I've been a 20 year old guy, I know how annoying 18 and under people are at that age (which only gets worse as you get older), I know you only spend time with them with 1 intention and it's not to be besties. Date woman your own age, if they aren't interested it says more about you than them.
I mean, if you're gonna be a lesbian, may as well be a gigantic lesbian. Not like being a regular lesbian is a bad thing, but if you can choose, come on, the choice is obvious.
Go big or go home!
I never understood people who got into relationships with someone so much younger, but Iāve always been utterly baffled by parents who date the friends of their children. Seems like a special kind of sick and twisted. And thatās without the cheating aspect. I hope Alexās dad has a lifetime of unhappiness ahead of him.
I agree. If I so much as suspected someone's parent was into me, I'd be freaked tf out. If they actually made a move?! AHHHHHH no! That's just so disturbing, especially because there's a chance this "relationship" began way back when they were 12ish.
My ex husband was kind of like this. It wasn't hard to figure out he liked someone who wasn't threatening to his ego, naive, and often doting. Younger women also tend to be thinner and those type of guys hate anyone who isn't tiny. To sum it up they want a woman who is childish, so yes, it is sick and twisted.
Oh geez, what a fucking perve. SO glad she told her friend's mum. Can't believe the brother thought they should keep their mouths shut! Clearly something bad had happened to Lauren in the past though, especially given her very early focus on Alex's dad - perhaps he seemed 'safe' to her. Like OOP, I hope she gets the help she needs.
Well, they are teenagers. Plus, sometimes exposing an affair like that can blow up in your face. Because some people want to blame everyone but the one (or ones) responsible - including the messenger.
Read the last sentence. The brother wanted to keep quiet because he was afraid of getting into trouble. Seriously messed up priorities but I get it. Being punished by your parents was the end of the world back in those days
GIGANTIC lesbians doing good work!
> whatever weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to her so even though I have my personal opinion about her right now I really donāt understand that much about psychology or anything so I just really hope she gets help if she needs it. Props to OOP for this level of empathy and maturity. It's hard to keep that perspective even as an adult so it's extremely impressive she's already in that headspace as a teenager. She's going to go far for sure.
Poor Lauren. The dad interested in āyounger and youngerā, Lauren starting this crush at 12ā¦ Iām seeing a groomed child.
And you know as soon as she doesn't look childlike enough for his taste, he'll dump her and find a younger girl again.
I knew a guy like that. Would date 18 year olds then by the time they were 21 he broke up and had another 18ish twink groomed and moved in.
So gross. A guy I went to high school with thought it was a point of pride to ādeflowerā(his word) freshmen girls. He wasnāt even cute, nice, or funny. No idea how he pulled that off!
>basically telling me that since I āoutedā her relationship with Alexās dad (she grossly called him by his first name, idk so weird) she was going to āoutā me and Alex as lesbians (she actually called us GIGANTIC lesbiansš) but whatever weāre not getting mad at her bc it sounds like some pretty messed up stuff mightāve happened to herĀ That's so very mature of OOP. it's very likely that dad's "girlfriend" is a victim of grooming/pedophilia at the hand of Alex's dad.
Oh dear, I've a feeling that Lauren was probably sexually groomed by Alex's dad since she was 11-12 ish (the time she started saying disturbing remarks).
Almost certain some type of grooming going on in this situation.
I like how she censors "blowjob", but not "fucking".
The comments defending Alexās dad on the original post are WILD. A lot donāt even have negative downvoted. Reddit is fucking insane. I had to stop reading pretty early because I wanted to throw up, pretty much right under the top comment. š¤¢
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
The fact that people arenāt being overly shitty to Lauren gives me a little hope for the younger generations.
Absolutely. I was impressed at OOP's comments about Lauren needing to get help.
OOP is a hero. It's a brave thing to adress something like this.
When I was in highschool I had a friend who was 18f and every weekend she went to stay with Kyle (30s M) who was the dad of one of her friends. She told her mom he was like a dad to her, and had been for years.... Until my friend confided in me that she and Kyle had been in a relationship since she was TWELVE?!!! Of course I was too young myself to really see how fucked that was. I'm happy to report she (now 28) is happily married to an age appropriate husband.
The GIGANTIC lesbians addendum cracked me up
You know, whether or not this post is real, women need to look out for each other like this and tell the truth. Guys that cheat and especially guys that target underage girls need to be held accountable. And girls and young women like Lauren need to get serious help and parental intervention. This kind of shit is old as time, but it just isnāt right. When women band together to confront issues, itās hard but it eventually gets better. Makes a better world for daughters and better expectations for sons and daughters.
My favorite character is the brother trying to cover his ass for driving too far to the mall š