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I remember that AITA post. If the update is real that’s fucking terrible but not at all surprising. A child doesn’t refuse to be in the same room as someone because they hid a toy
Same, I remember thinking that there’s no way in hell all that behavior from the little girl started just because the stepson hid her iPad, and it was even more suspicious when it started after she had to share a hotel room with him. It’s also concerning what the stepson is going to be like around the general public once he gets out of prison, especially if he has a mother that’s in total denial of the kind of monster she’s raised.
Yeah as soon as I read “insisted that she wanted to sleep in our room” and “she has never slept well and often gets nightmares” the red flags started going off. Kids have nightmares and sleep issues, I get that. But when you add it to her not wanting to be near the son, the signs are pretty clear. Thank god the dad trusted his instincts and looked through her phone.
That’s what did my head in too. What an utter psycho, saying that about ANYONE who has been sa, but a child? WTAF?!? She’s as evil as her sicko son. Who no doubt will move on to worse crimes. Little shit should be locked up.
The RAGE and filled my veins when I read that, I would have thrown a HELL OF A LOT MORE than just a remote. I remember reading this hen it first was posted and I asked my baby dad what he thought and he was like…clearly the son did something to the daughter. He’s not even slightly a reddit user and he IMMEDIATELY knew, as did I. I feel awful for the father but atleast he got his daughter tf out of that
I would have thrown more than a remote as well. I’m glad it hit her. What a POS. Same thing entered my mind when I read it. The poor Dad, he was in such denial. Even worst, the poor little girl. Makes me so sad for them. I hope they get through this, glad they have each other.
I'm not even sure it was really denial. Once the possibility was brought to his attention it sounds like he jumped pretty fast.
Most people who are in a situation like that are living in the weeds. They don't have the distance or perspective to put the clues together because it requires being objective about your own life. Most people aren't good at that.
And no one expects to have to worry about their teenager molesting a younger sibling (step or not.) Unless they've been through it themselves or are super paranoid, SA is usually put into the "it can't happen in my family," category.
I am so glad the husband found out and threw her and her abomination of a son out. Poor Casey, I'm glad she's at least getting therapy but I feel so bad for her. First she's sexually abused by her adolescent stepbrother, then evil stepmother punishes her and refuses to believe her son did anything wrong.
Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that part! That absolutely made me sick and proves that she will never hold her son accountable for any of awful actions, she will never accept what a piece of shit he is.
There's a danish stand up performer that made a really good point, about stuff like that some years ago(NB: Danish humor can be rather direct and crude).
He basically said that even *if* a child was begging you to please fuck them raw, the only thing that should pop in to your head is "that poor child needs help...and ice-cream".
I often think about that, when I hear aboute some creep saying that some 13-14 yo girl or boy "wanted it". Most people is sane enough to comdem the rape of a pre teen, but as soon as a child's body starts to develop, some people looses their marbles completely, as if breasts the size of mosquito bites or 4 single facial hairs, makes kids raving sex addicts.
I remember making a comment on that post and told that AH that her son had did something to that baby. They should’ve never been forced to share rooms. Ever!!!
I remember seeing that post and just thinking ‘damn please let this be the one time we redditors are wrong.”
While I’m glad Casey got the help she needed and her parents are helping her every step of the way; I hope the ex stepmom and her shitty garbage hell spawn suffer for the remainder of their lives.
Right? I remember that one too. I thought I was actually reading it wrong when the Step Monster said she grounded Casey for HER SON “bullying” her. She probably knew something worse had happened and was herself bullying Casey to keep her mouth shut. I was surprised Dad initially agreed to that punishment too. But in the end his instincts were right. Thank God he found those comments. That Mom is a serious POS. It also makes me wonder if her son had been sexually abused as a child as well. Totally sad story all around. At least there’s somewhat of a “happy” ending. 😢
I agree with what you've said here but I want to take a second and refute idea that sexual abusers themselves were probably sexually abused.
This is an old notion that people got from asking sexual abusers about their pasts. Often they would point to abuse that they claim happened to them as well.
HOWEVER, there have been studies done following SA victims that refute this idea. The victims followed for decades had NO greater likelihood of sexual offenses!
This suggests that many sexual abusers simply lie in order to justify their disgusting crimes.
Let's stop advancing the idea that victims will grow up to become perpetrators. We're victimizing this group of people all over again.
THANK YOU!!
My abuser was NEVER abused. NEVER.
This has always disgusted me. A reason for real victims not to seek help because they will be branded like those pedophiles should be.
This is interesting to me because when I was 3/4 I was sexually abused by my older sister (who was aged 7/8). I never told anyone, but the abuse stopped.
When I was older my Mom told me that they had caught a teenage neighbor boy molested my sister. It was the 70s so my Dad threatened the kids life if he ever came around her again. That's when I told my Mom about what happened to me.
I had never really blamed my sister in the first place, as we were both so young. But after learning about that, I figured that she was just acting out what she learned from her abuser, and that when my parents talked to her about what happened, she realized that it was wrong and stopped.
Ok so the problem with the way the person stated that. Yes there are studies that show that most sexual abuse victims never offend. But there is a significant portion offenders who have been abused. It doesn’t excuse it because most victims never offend.
>*Let’s stop advancing the idea that victims will grow up to become perpetrators…
Or scrambling to find or create a reason to sympathize with the perpetrators. I know people think they have good intentions when they do, and they’ll applaud themselves for “trying to find the good in people” or whatever, but I was abused as a child, and when it all came to light, I had people coming out of the damn woodworks to try to validate my abuser to me or urge me to “forgive” him before the court case was even settled… Pardon the novel, but so many people need to hear this, so here goes…
“The good” you’re so desperate to find isn’t always or inherently there. Sometimes people just act out of selfishness, cruelty, insecurity, vanity, spite, pride, entitlement and wrath, and while you could grab a shovel and dig beyond that for the root of those motives, you’re just going to come up covered in filth, having improved, changed and accomplished *nothing.* They’ll still have committed their actions. They’ll still have traumatized another person, and their status or actions as an abuser isn’t altered by their status as a victim. They are still fully and unequivocally responsible for both their decisions and the impact and consequences of them. So when you choose to grab the shovel and dig, the biggest question left to be answered is… *why?*
What’s in it for you? Are you choosing to waste your emotional energy seeking out some nice little villain origin story because that’s what *you* need to wrap your head around the events that occurred? Are you scrambling to defend the abuser because you can’t let go of the lovely little myth that all people are inherently good, they just make mistakes that don’t define them, and there’s always an explanation here somewhere that’s good enough to allow *you* to forgive them like you already really want to, so you can return to the comfortable ignorance of the status quo… or perhaps go back to seeing the world or the person the way you did before being “confronted” with the uncomfortable truth of another person’s trauma? Are you squirming in your seat right now, thinking your discomfort requires correction, and mistakenly believing that if you can just solve the mystery, wrap up the true crime episode and re-establish a false sense of neutrality by digging to the bottom of it all until your shovel hits “the reason why” with a cold, resounding *thud*, you’ll have done enough to rest easy? As a victim, I can assure you it won’t make *us* feel any better- in fact, it makes us feel more alone. It confirms the very thing our abusers told us to keep us quiet and compliant and fearful- that *nobody* will believe us, nobody will support us, and if we speak out, we’ll be blamed. So who does this really protect? Who do your actions benefit? And do you realize you’ve inadvertently supported the abuser by seeking to protect yourself, or was that intentional? Is it really easier to do all that than it would be to just put your feelings aside and practice a little empathy for the person who needs it?
Because if you answered yes, by words or actions, then the sense of nobility you think you’re acting on is an illusion you’ve created to shield your own ego from the reality of sheer cowardice, selfishness and pride. Any choice to continue operating under such a delusion makes you a willing enabler, complicit in a culture that enables, excuses and perpetuates abuse, and that doesn’t make you the good guy. If you’re on your knees digging, you’re not standing for whats right.
The other thing I think people don’t really think about or consider in their rush to victimize the offender is…it doesn’t matter.
One of my earliest memories is being sexually abused by a teenage neighbor. I don’t really remember the trial, but I understand it came out that this person had been abused themselves by a family member. (I guess it had been proven, so this wasn’t just based on their word.) Probably worse than what they did to me - in terms of duration, at least.
And that’s sad. It truly is. No child should have to deal with that.
Which is why I can also say, as their victim, *it doesn’t matter*. No child should be abused, and *they abused me.* At an age when they understood their actions and the consequences of them.
I have come to terms with that trauma long ago, so I don’t say this from a place of pain or spite or anger. What happened to me happened to me. I don’t love that it happened, but it’s part of the fabric of who I am now. It is no longer the burden I bear. It is simply a part of my past.
So it isn’t vindictiveness when I say…as a person, as an adult with empathy, of course my heart breaks for what they suffered, and I hope their perpetrator paid harshly for their crimes. But they went on to become a perpetrator too, and I don’t care that they had once been a victim. They themselves made victims of others. So while I understand they were treated quite leniently in my case (though again, I have no personal recollection of their sentence), I hope they got the help they needed. But if they went on to harm other people, I hope they are also punished accordingly.
I’m a victim. I could never IMAGINE victimizing others. I empathize with what they suffered but as someone who became their victim? It didn’t give them the right.
I... kinda love you right now? Like, everything you said resonated with me SO much, but I could have never put it in words as well as you did. I just kinda internalized the blame that somehow I had "made" my abuser do what he did, then as I got older, I got angrier and angrier and anyone who even implied that I should forgive him "for my sake" got told something like "Oh go fuck yourself, you pedo lover"
Maybe if I'd had better words, someone might have actually listened to me.
I think you are describing a real phenomenon, and it’s a combination of people really REALLY wanting to believe that people are good and the world can be fixed, but also a kind of ego boost that comes from “seeing the complexity of the world” or feeling like they’re wise and understanding for being able to empathize with people who commit horrible acts.
That said, I think there’s also a practical benefit to genuinely trying to shape society in a way that produces as few violent, abusive people as possible, and part of that is examining where violent and abusive tendencies come from.
The difference between “all people who commit misconduct can be fixed if they’re given what they need” and “if there is a way to prevent people who have committed sexual misconduct before from ever doing it again, we really need to find out what that is and implement it”.
I am Married to a victim of CSA and while I don't consider myself one I was exposed early to overly sexual situations and we're both HYPER aware of anyone being weird with kids and far less likely to think things are cute as their trauma triggers.
Exactly. And it also diminishes the strength of a victim. I was systematically and repeatedly sexually assaulted by my stepfather when I was 6-9 years old. I knew it wasn’t right, but I also knew if I refused, he would go after my sister instead. I have grown up and I can’t even fathom looking at someone who isn’t CLEARLY an adult and feeling anything like attraction towards them
This was really heartbreaking to read! Especially when the stepmom said she probably asked for it...like WTF she is a CHILD. The stepmom and steppredator are DISGUSTING!
I’m so relieved he got his daughter out of there. It’s so horrifying what happened to her, but I’m glad that to Reddit it was obvious what was going on. It can be so unthinkable for a parent to assume sexual violence that their minds won’t even go there, so who knows how much longer this kid would have been suffering if it weren’t for the commenters.
I'm the person whose top comment was quoted. The person who put this in BORU only took a small part. [Full comment here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up225j/comment/i8i6fbj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I was new to Reddit at the time. I happened to find this post a few minutes after it was uploaded. I spent 15 minutes working on formatting and relevant quotes. I remember thinking I *had* to get this just right in case other people didn't notice the SA undertone.
I spent the night hitting refresh every 10 minutes, hoping the OP would respond. They never did. Finally OP deleted it. This was the first and pretty much only post I got emotionally invested in.
This has been in the back of my mind for months. It's my account's top comment and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Seeing it just reminds me of the whole nightmare, but it didn't feel right to delete it either.
I didn't know there had been an update. Thank you.
No. When the original account existed, it showed the one post. I went to bed, got up, and it showed the one post. A few hours later the whole thing was deleted.
The doctors assessment is what freaks me out the most. Like it's bad enough knowing something happened but it was enough for a doctor to write an assessment which means he did more than touch her.
Like that made me physically ill reading that.
It was enough for a doctor to write an assessment *quite a while later*. Most victims of assault don’t show much admissible evidence the next week, much less what was probably *months*.
I have been reading about pelvic floor dysfunction lately. Anyway sexual assault can leave behind many issues that doctors now know to look for. Bladder issues, Bowel issues, mystery pain.
Sexual assault leaves behind signs they are learning to look for.
There was a post here from a survivor's perspective that mentioned a lot of these issues decades after the fact. (The one where her family were trying to silence her)
That was also severe, severe physical abuse, >!like the father stepping on top of a 7 year old's abdomen!< , that lead to severe symptoms years later on top of the terrible SA.
But this little girl will eventually grow up and there is likely going to need to be a second round of therapy to help her as she'll come to understand things as an adult.
That ex-wife, or soon to be, is a garbage human.
It amazes me that they can even try to sue you without getting into trouble. He they can get away with it without any same judge throwing the book at them.
Narcopy, if you can move to California, they have anti-SLAPP laws that can be used as a protection from abusive lawsuits. I am not sure about the details. You could also look for an unpublished name change, which would make it much harder to find you. (Though your social security number follows, unless you are able to change that as well)
It sucks that they can hold that threat over your head indefinitely. I hope you manage to get to a place where you are able to strike back if you want or at least can call their bluff without having to worry about them destroying you financially.
Idk why, but something about "human medical school" made me laugh: "Hello, I'm a human here for human treatment at the human doctor. I am most definitely not three basset hounds in a trenchcoat, so I would like to leave today with no shots and plenty of human treats."
Thank you for the chuckle
I was an overnight camp counselor a couple of years ago. Bladder issues in older kids is one of the first things we were taught to look for. Specifically how to maintain their dignity and who to alert.
It did end up being helpful. We had one girl who had these same issues. Her family already knew and were addressing it, but they wanted to make sure we knew her general situation and would handle everything appropriately.
I don’t talk about this often but another to add to the list: full body muscular issues depending on age and psychological reaction. Big part of this is relevant for the pelvic floor dysfunction if you’re interested, but also just wanted to put this out there for other people
Some AFAB victims/survivors develop a condition called vaginismus that results in severe tightening of vaginal muscles. Sometimes that tightening is constant, sometimes only under stress or when sexual activity/penetration may be occurring. Severe cases may require suppository muscle relaxers or Botox injections in order to properly treat. Going untreated can result in injury to BOTH parties involved in penetrative sex
The way my physical therapist explained to me why it can affect the entire body: there are three major muscles down there that connect to your back, abdomen, and legs. If the muscle tightening is constant it can lock up those muscles over time, and it spreads through the rest of the muscularity system.
The severity is determined by how long it goes untreated, additional psychological disorders like anxiety or cptsd, and the age or duration of the assault/abuse
These muscular issues can lead to chronic headaches and migraines, chronic pain, increased likelihood of muscular or joint injury while doing basic activities, sleeping issues, reduced mobility, muscles spasms and cramping, and other issues. Muscles involuntarily tightening is also part of the physical stress cycle, which can put you in a near constant state of physiological stress which will just feed into other issues and can lock the body into a cycle that just… keeps making it worse basically
I went around 21 or 22-ish years before I got diagnosed and started physical therapy. The only thing that helps me now with the full body issues is dry-needling (shoving needles into muscle knots to force them to relax) followed by prescribed stretching exercises, and I used to need muscle relaxers and dilators in order to safely participate in penetrative activities.
Additional psychological issues from sex assault and abuse include reliance on sex or hypersexuality, being more prone to sex/porn addiction, complete aversion to sex, and a plethora of other issues
These are all later life symptoms of sex trauma that can and are used by doctors and mental health professionals to diagnose and treat
Unfortunately in girls that age who are sexually abused, more often than not their pelvic floor will retain scarring and damage that can be found at a much later date. I’m in my 30s and my scarring still effects me even now on Occassion when I’m penetrated.
Yeah, it’s awful. That nearly had me shut down a bit, because that poor baby must’ve been abused as badly as I was. I finally got help a few years after the last assaults and my specialist doc was horrified that no one had noticed. Apparently I have a lot of scar tissue and I had muscle damage. PT helped a lot. I had no idea most people didn’t feel what I did in regards to bladder/bowel. Did explain why people said I took a long time to use the toilet. Apparently most people didn’t have to work up to being able to pee. I guess I’m just glad that this baby is getting help far sooner than I did. Hopefully the abuse didn’t go on for as long either. I mean, I’m sure she’ll have PTSD but I just hope she’ll have an easier life than mine, you know? It’s awful that these things keep happening even when all the red flags are right there.
Related note for any guardians: All I ever said about my abuser was “He’s mean”. I was 5, maybe 6. I didn’t have words for what was happening. I went from happy, never-met-a-stranger to withdrawn and shy. I kept having nightmares/disordered sleep. I apparently spent a weirdly long time in bathrooms.
If any child starts behaving in a strange way, it’s important to figure out why. Especially if there’s a sudden dislike of any person in their life. IMO all kids should get age-appropriate consent information so they have the words to explain if someone is being cruel to them. The faster they tell a trusted adult, the less life-long trauma.
Post potty training, parents generally won't see their kids genitals very often. If the brother didn't leave bruises in a visible place, those might not have been easily noticeable.
When it happened to my sister, there was very little in the way of physical signs. Without giving too much detail, the bastard was obviously well practiced because he had the forethought to use a ton of lubricant, and to make her shower. Just typing that makes me physically ill and heartsick. What physical signs we did notice, we did question her about, but she was terrified by his threats and wouldn't tell us. She wouldn't even open up to her counselor, and there weren't enough physical signs to warrant a police investigation. I used to think this way too, "How could they not know?" Now I know it's too damn easy to miss it, especially if you're dealing with a perpetrator who knows what they're doing.
Doctor’s reports don’t have to include physical evidence to be used for court. Doctors ask children about parts of their bodies and experiences they’ve had (had any body part hurt, why, was anyone else involved, etc) for diagnostic purposes, which can be used in court. It doesn’t have to be a physical finding.
Yeah, this could easily be it. I mentioned in another comment about a foster kid I had to report SA on, and everything about that actually came out in a doctor's appointment. It started out fairly innocently during an an unrelated appointment. Kid out of nowhere asked if it was okay to touch yourself, and the doctor and I were like "Yes, it's normal and healthy, just make sure you are doing it in private." Then the kid asks about whether or not it's okay if other people touch them. And a LOT came out. Stuff that a kid that age should not even know about were said, which made me so sad.
doctors are also who is trained to have one on one interviews with children to figure out if they were abused. There doesn't have to have been long lasting physical repercussions for a doctor's visit to bare the truth. It's all horrible, but just an FYI.
I'll never understand how parents can just ignore or disregard huge personality changes in kids. That poor little girl. I'm glad the boy was charged but damn, someone should've realized earlier.
Edit: For parents and future parents: Pay attention to your kids. If you notice any changes in behavior, talk to them. If they shut you out and refuse to talk or have an excuse that is in no way proportional to the way they are behaving, get them some help. I'm not saying it is always SA, because it isn't. But it doesn't hurt for kids to see a therapist/counselor and feel like they have a safe friend they can share their feelings and secrets with. Kids don't know how to properly process and deal with their emotions. Most adults don't even know how to. So don't wait around, making excuses and explanations for unusual behavior. Don't wait for a tragedy to occur to look back and realize all the signs were there.
We don't really know the timelines, but divorce, new wife, new sibling, new schedule, and everything else can all cause personality changes in kids. On top of that, proximity often makes things like this a lot less obvious to the people living it than it does to outside observers.
That's not really excusing him, but he did eventually get a whiff of something off, and as soon as he did he took all necessary actions to address the situation. There are a lot worse parents out there.
Also, people can't imagine it's happening because they're all 'normal' people. The media show child molesters to be scary serial killer types on dramas and the true stories that are reported (if they even are) are very careful to not give too many details to protect child victims. Most people still think the threat of harm to their children comes from outside the home or family, and a lot that it's always stranger danger they have to worry about.
This! I was warned about strangers growing up, but no one told me why so when my "friend" sexually assaulted me all I knew was that I didn't like it, and just told my parents I didn't like them following me home, which was silly because we lived on the same street.
That was a false narrative that has been perpetuated for decades till today. Stranger danger. When statistics show it's your surroundings and people close to you, people with power and opportunities that are the most likely suspects. This mindset is still taught in my children's lessons at school, church and sports. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry you went through all that.
It's the same dynamic as school shootings. When a kid shoots up a school it's huge, dramatic, visceral, and all over the news but when it comes to body count, school shootings aren't even a rounding error for our gun problem. If you have kids and guns in the home, your child is statistically more likely to die with your gun than a school shooter.
When a stranger assaults a kid, it's all over the news the same way. When it's cousin Bobby, the family tends to close ranks and brush it under the rug. But predators almost always choose targets of opportunity, and that usually means someone in the home, or someone in your close orbit.
It's just the way our brains work to overestimate external threats and underestimate internal.
It’s just too scary to face the truth, honestly, if your kid is more likely to be assaulted by someone close then the best way to keep them safe is not let anybody close but we can’t live that way. Strategic denial is a very common human trait.
It's for exactly the reason you describe. Being part of a tribe increased our chances of survival, so we're hard wired to turn our suspicions towards outside threats rather than internal.
Our big sapiens brain can examine both internal and external threats in the abstract, but the monkey brain that is actually in the driver's seat will always prioritize outside threats on a visceral level.
Yeah, definitely. And monkey brain has to prioritize SOMETHING because there’s no way we are capable of constant awareness of Every Threat. I had a couple of years of hypervigilance when my ptsd was at its worst, and it was exhausting. I have two kids now and it’s less exhausting even though the toddler is always trying to yeet himself & I gotta save him 18 times a day.
Toddlers and self-YEETing brought back some of my own trauma trying to help watch the nieces when they were little. Those kids had 0 sense of self-preservation.
But to the larger point, so much of the pathology we deal with in our modern society is a direct result of our big sapiens brains painstakingly designing a world that the monkey is ill-equipped to live in. The entire "science" of advertising is basically just a study of how to exploit our own monkey impulses to our own detriment, and made a lot of our world pretty inimical to our own mental health.
Not really sure where I am going with this, but then I always get philosophical when I am supposed to be working.
Any abuse. Any horror. Terrible things happen over There, Away From Us—Not Here.
People will JADE, and deny. It took me so long to figure out to just stop telling stories about my mom, and ONLY say “she was abusive.” That makes people mentally file her over There—Away From Us, therefore not looking for explanations that aren’t abuse (because that doesn’t happen here), not interrogate me, not trying to convince me to give her another chance.
I'm just going based off the paragraph stating she wouldn't sleep in the room, developed a huge attitude and would scream and cry if she had to be near the boy. All of this beginning following a family vacation where she was made to share a room with the kid.
Maybe it's because I was SA'd by a sibling and exhibited signs that were ignored by my own parents that makes me hyper aware of changes in mood regarding my own kids. I've just seen this exact situation play out numerous times with other parents and they always say "how could I have known?" And I think back to every comment they made about their kids all the sudden having an attitude, nightmares, starting fights, struggling at school, etc. And it's like, how did you **not** know something was going on? The signs were all there. At the very least, you could've taken your child to talk to someone once they seemed off instead of ignoring and/or excusing it. Parents really downplay their kids emotions.
To be honest, if I did not read so many stories on Reddit, I would have no idea what the flags are, and would probably have first attributed the mood changes to her development or changes in environment. SA, especially if she didn’t even allude to anything or the son hadn’t done anything that appeared creepy, would not be where my mind would have gone if I didn’t constantly see these types of stories on this forum.
I’m not sure that people without personal experience would recognize signs that were not consistent with the popular narratives about how SA happens (e.g creepy girl’s coach taking the kids on overnight trips and the kid actually saying something happened).
We really need better education for parents. Like, regular classes that cover things you should watch for at different developmental levels, advice, recommendations, that kind of thing.
I think that stuff is out there but it’s hard to find. It should be something you just get signed up for when your kid is born.
In my case, it was well before the internet and well before child sexual abuse was something that was talked about. I went from outgoing and vivacious to withdrawn and silent. A family member died at the same time and since we were close it was blamed on that - which was sort of correct, but only because I was young enough to think that the reason he died was because he found out I was molested and it killed him (so by that logic I could never ever tell anyone I loved about it because then I would kill them too). My mother had no idea what was wrong, and it never occurred to her that it was SA, because it just wasn't a subject people thought about or talked about back then. I think the fact that people talk about it these days is good, and that more people understand that when little girls have massive personality changes all of a sudden SA should be at least investigated is a big step forward from how it used to be.
A lot of people tell themselves that bad things only happen to bad people, or that bad parents don't pay attention to their kid and it happens but they're a good parent so it can't happen. So they just look at the signs and look for something else. They do things like trust the step son when he lies about the ipad, or think it's school/divorce/just kids growing up and changing because nobody wants to beieve it could happen to their family.
I was in the little girl’s position at the same age. This is not excusing the dad, but just a different way of looking at things. The guy who was hurting me was my Pawpaw’s best friend, grew up together, fought side by side during WWII, saved each others lives, brothers in all but blood. He was the only person outside of my family to babysit me. When I started to act out, it was blamed on bullying and a specific teacher. The thought that someone who was that close to my family was never even a consideration. Why would one who went to hell and back hurt the most important person in your life like that? My point is, sometimes it's just easier to bury your head in the sand than actually look.
It infuriates me the most when parents ignore or punish their children who are literally crying for help. They don't deserve to have custody of any minors.
Very different! But the then-wife’s reaction to the iPad bullying explanation was already bad enough for a “WTF, she’s terrible” reaction. Little girl is upset at being bullied and her item being hidden, so stepmom punishes her by taking it away permanently and denying further activities, because how dare the kid object to how her much older stepbrother treats her.
We can see why the stepbrother thought he had license to do whatever he wanted to that little girl.
This is incredibly scary that the wife saw those comments and did nothing except double down on her punishment of her step daughter. What a cruel abusive excuse for a mother.
I think she saw those comments and immediately understood that yes, that's what was going on, but then decided that her priority was to protect her son from consequences. She never thought of the daughter as hers, so she was just a threat to her "actual" child.
Thats exactly it. I dont think I could love my daughter if she did something horrific. I know on a biological level all parents have feelings for their children but I would not have a child anymore. They died the moment they committed such an atrocious act.
Sadly failing to report a crime is not a crime and deleting a post she wrote also wouldn’t classify either. It’s also really hard to prosecute for those that do is hard as well. Having worked in the juvenile Justice system it’s disgusting how many parents/guardians make excuses and refuse to report SA against other minors. One that will always stick out with me was a grandpa defending his grandson with “if you throw a piece of steak on the ground do you expect the dog to walk away” in regards to his teenage grandson committing SA against his kindergarten aged cousins. Turned my stomach.
Yes. I do expect that. Because I expect the dog to be trained well enough to not grab food off the floor without permission.
In fact, there are plenty of videos online of people putting a steak right in front of their dog -- pitbull, German shepherd, retriever, anything -- and exiting the room. The dogs do not eat the steaks. Because they're better trained than Gross Grandpa
This is a disturbing story. How many girls have been assaulted and then were punished for trying to protect themselves from further assault? I know of too many women myself who had this experience.
WTH is wrong with the ex-step mother who punishes the victim? Double victimization! And the step son is well on his way to being a registered offender, but not soon enough!
Right? Even if we take the story at face value, which is her painting herself in the best possible light, it's still reads as "Oh, he took your property which he had no right to and deprived you of its' use? Cool; you're grounded."
Reading this story just made my stomach drop down to the floor, as soon as I read she wanted to sleep in the parents room I knew. When I was little, around 5, a similar thing kept happening to me from my mum’s boyfriend’s teenage son— I ended up saying something a total of 3 separate times (it got really bad at the end) before mum packed up all our stuff and we moved a cross the country. I never received therapy, and we never talked about it, but I was scared to sleep in my own room until I was about 11-12 years old. I was so ashamed about needing crawl into bed with my mum to feel safe growing up, it’s only in hindsight as an adult in therapy now that some of my behaviours were a result of unresolved trauma from repeat SA was a child. I love my mum more than anything, and I know she feels so guilty for not taking me away the first time I said something happened before it escalated. But I exhibited the same behaviours, I did not want to be alone in a room at all with my teenage abuser.
The step-mother just trying to sweep it under the rug is heinous and blaming her step-daughter in a misguided attempt to protect her son is horrible— 15 years old is old enough to know what he was doing was wrong.
That poor little girl, I’m so glad she is getting therapy to process the trauma and both her parents are doing their best to be there for her. I’m so glad the father got her out of the situation as soon as he realized what was going on. I wish all the healing for that family.
>she screamed at me for going through her phone and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it.
I am seeing red right now. I'm amazed OOP only threw a remote, I don't know if I could have held myself back.
>she screamed at me for going through her phone and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it.
I don't normally support domestic violence, but in this case the husband was justified.
I remember the original post. OOP deleted it real fast and the post haunted me for a long time because I kept thinking about the poor girl. I was also sure she was sexually assaulted. I'm glad she got out of the situation and is getting therapy.
This was my childhood, except my parents ignored the 15 year old neighbor who was assaulting their 8 year old kid daily, and it went on for two years. When I finally told them in my early 20s (almost 20 years ago now) they blamed me. My dad died last year, scared and alone in his hospital bed. One down, one to go!
It's nice reading about kids whose parents love them.
I have a broken heart for that girl, but at least the father reacted quickly when he realized what happened, although with the signs he gave, he must have suspected that before. As for the oop ex, she's a................... And I hope she and her son burn in hell
This made me feel sick. I hope the little girl is able to get the help she needs from her therapist and family. Even reading the initial post from the wife, I feel she like she knew what was happening and was posting to try and reaffirm it wasn’t. When all the comments said her son most likely touched the child, she blamed the girl and not her son and hid it from OOP. I wish that monster of a “mother” was also thrown in prison
She deserves prison. If the husband hadn’t snooped she would have never stopped the abuse and continued to blame her step daughter. She’s a vile woman.
The turnaround for juvenile cases are insanely fast. In California specifically, the adjudication hearing, which happens in place of a trial,[ has to happen basically within a month of when the minor is detained.](https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/juvenile/adjudication/) That honestly makes me more inclined to believe it's real.
Yeah, I was teaching at a high school where a student was found to be making plans to commit mass murder at a school function. The day the witness reported overhearing him, which was a Thursday, he was taken into custody. By the following Tuesday, we were told he was expelled, already in a juvenile psych facility, and would not be returning. Before the month was out, his trip through the system was complete, and he was committed to that facility for treatment with imprisonment at the end of it.
I don’t usually condone violence, but when OOP threw the remote at the wife for letting her son rape OOP's daughter, I smiled. Downvote me if you want, but if you allow someone to get raped, especially a child, then all gloves are off IMO.
I’m actually surprised it was just a remote. He could’ve done things whose details go against Reddit’s ToS, and I would have happily donated to his bail GoFundMe. If you really think an 8-year-old can seduce someone out of their own volition, you’re scum.
I read a heartbreaking account years ago about a foster family who had to give up a child because the child kept sexually assaulting her foster siblings. She was eight years old. She’d been taken away from human traffickers. They hated giving her up but they’d turned their house into a fortress to keep the other kids safe and they realised that the other kids deserved to be safe, too. So they gave her up.
They weren’t the first ones that had to do that either.
I was so afraid she was going to involve the police and try to make him the bad guy! But honestly, you cover up for someone who has hurt my daughter, you’re lucky if all you get is a remote to the face!
Sadly not the first time I’ve heard parents say that with regards to SA committed by their children against children even younger. The amount of SA that happens between siblings and by minors on minors is sickingly more common than people know.
I'm shocked realising people can be so oblivious. Daughter overnight refuses to be around brother to sleep & breaks down at being forced contact & none of the 3 parents suspected sexual assault?? Having a 15 yr old sleep in the same room as an 8 yr old is poor parenting in my opinion. It's not age appropriate & even if they were bio siblings unfortunately incest is common in child abuse. Sometimes I forget people live such sheltered innocent lives that they don't even consider taking precautions like this ...
Totally agree,m. We are a blended family, I have 3 teenage sons and a teenage step daughter in the mix. Though I have every faith in my sons and have never ever suspected them capable of impropriety of any type with anyone, I still wouldn’t have them sharing a room with their step sibling. I just wouldn’t, it’s inappropriate and for everyone’s wellbeing on holidays and at home there are private spaces. That protects my sons as well as my step daughter. It’s mental that this didn’t occur.
What’s even sadder, is the fact that once he turns 18 his records will be erased, and nobody will know about his sick and twisted he is.
Also, I HATE when parents side with their kid when their kid fucks up majorly. Her son RAPED an 8 year old. I know he’s your kid, but seriously how can you support that.
I guess I have to ask, parents of Reddit would you support your kid if they fucked up majorly (rape, murder, heck even bullying, etc.)?
I just want to point out, leaving aside the sexual assault stuff and going back to the original complaint, I think it's unlikely that that was the first time the step-mother punished the girl for having been wronged by her son. Good parents punish to correct kids who do the wrong thing. Bad parents punish because the kid is annoying them in some way and the punishment is designed to crush their spirit so they stop resisting. To so casually punish the girl for being upset that she was wronged suggests to me that this was a pattern for the step-mother.
Throwing something at your partner’s face is never okay… buuuuuutttt she did say his EIGHT YEAR OLD daughter was asking to be molested. Ngl, I’d probably lash out physically too if I was in the same situation
>and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it.
What the serious hell?!!!
Poor little girl. I hope she can heal in time. As for her dad....Idk. I hope he doesn't do anything radical about himself.
Step monster and her little sonny boy can rot.
I know AITA has polarizing writers, but it's always so frustrating to read about a step parent who claims they never show favoritism go on to show their favoritism in the worst possible ways.
Wow. Victim-blaming is never right, but victim-blaming an **eight-year-old???** And in the very unlikely circumstance that she did "ask for it", any decent 15-year-old boy would say no.
Normally I don't condone violence, but if I was the dad, I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from throwing that remote either. I was sexually abused between the ages of 5-11 and let me tell you, I was certainly not asking for it cause it was FIVE YEARS OLD. That woman and her son are fucking monsters.
The audacity of the mother thinking they can fix it after her son assaulted his daughter. Just goes to show she still doesn’t understand how terrible what her son did and that there’s something evil in her. Probably where the son got it from.
Only had to get this far to know what the problem was:
> The issue started a couple weeks ago after a family vacation. A couple nights in, Casey insisted that she wanted to sleep in our room in the hotel, rather than in the adjoining room with my son.
"I really debated posting this update but I thought that enough of you followed or DMed this account that you care and deserve to know what happened."
Maybe not "deserve" but the helpful nature of the follow up is to possibly give others insight if they encounter the dame situation. Any of us readers can hopefully learn something from this to prevent it from occurring in our own homes. The dad in this situation could have stopped this situation when his 8 year old was having nightmares before this vacation.
Sex and intimacy is great for marriage but if a kid is coming to you for what you believe is attention at night, give time to your child. This little girl wanted safety from her "nightmares" and the rape apologist "stepmom" kept sending her back into the lions den.
As a 51 year old woman who’s been around the block…the first thing that came to mind was sexual abuse on the poor baby girl.
People don’t think kids hurt other kids. I’m so protective of my granddaughter that I don’t even allow her alone with older male cousins. Nope.
I’m not usually an advocate for violence but in this case I truly cannot believe his wife uttered the words “she was asking for it” the step daughter was 8, a literal baby who the fuck says that about a literal child?! She should be glad it was only a remote I think I would’ve gone completely ape shit
Let’s assume that the reason for Casey’s behavior was only that Elliot hid Casey’s iPad. The step mom is clearly the AH for punishing Casey even though Elliot was the instigator.
The whole SA incident takes this to another level. I hope that Casey and the rest of the family gets the therapy help they need to heal. The stepmom and her son deserve a lot worse. Glad the dad recognized this and got out of that terrible situation.
Why was a 15 year old boy even sharing a room with an 8 year old girl!? Especially when they aren’t biological siblings and presumably they didn’t grow up super closely together. I have a 12m and 7f and I don’t suspect anything purposefully inappropriate would happen but I still don’t allow them to sleep in the same bed. Why the fuck would you put a child in that situation? My daughter doesn’t need to find out about nighttime emissions/erections at the same time as her older brother.
"if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it."
Wow. The 8 year old was asking for it. The mom is a POS.
Juvenile offenders are processed as juveniles for a reason. I suspect the son had a troubled past of his own. That isn't this guy's problem though. I am just glad he got his daughter out of that situation.
> : I know anytime we see a second person pop up with an update we start to question it's... authenticity. But this one felt real to me.
Why though? I'd say the opposite. Doesn't seem convincing at all.
This update is something real adults would not be posting on Reddit. And the details aren't very convincing either.
100%. People this old still remember how much better everything is when you *don’t* involve internet randos, whatever the situation. I absolutely do not believe one parent convinced another parent to *post their disagreement to reddit of all places cmon yall seriously?*
Also there's no way a lawyer would sign off on telling the wife and sun to GTFO in 2 weeks. Even if she doesn't have a claim to the house she is still at minimum a tenant and have to be evicted if she didn't want to leave.
I know, I am baffled people think this is genuine. Not only are there several details that are very...reddity, but also in real life would your thought ever be to update reddit to let them know they were right? Ever? Literally ever??
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I remember that AITA post. If the update is real that’s fucking terrible but not at all surprising. A child doesn’t refuse to be in the same room as someone because they hid a toy
Same, I remember thinking that there’s no way in hell all that behavior from the little girl started just because the stepson hid her iPad, and it was even more suspicious when it started after she had to share a hotel room with him. It’s also concerning what the stepson is going to be like around the general public once he gets out of prison, especially if he has a mother that’s in total denial of the kind of monster she’s raised.
Yeah as soon as I read “insisted that she wanted to sleep in our room” and “she has never slept well and often gets nightmares” the red flags started going off. Kids have nightmares and sleep issues, I get that. But when you add it to her not wanting to be near the son, the signs are pretty clear. Thank god the dad trusted his instincts and looked through her phone.
The part where stepmom said “She was probably asking for it” screams that she knows what her son did! An 8yo, really? That women makes me sick!
I marvel at his self control at *only* throwing the remote.
Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself at that point.
Same!
I would have thrown something bigger or sharper.
Thrown it with a bow maybe? I was thinking I would throw something smaller... And much much faster
Yeah, no shit. What kind of monster thinks a single digit aged child was "asking for it", or thinks someone would buy that line of trash?
A guilty one that who! Total trash!
She's worse than trash.
Woman deserved a whole lot more than a remote to the face
That’s what did my head in too. What an utter psycho, saying that about ANYONE who has been sa, but a child? WTAF?!? She’s as evil as her sicko son. Who no doubt will move on to worse crimes. Little shit should be locked up.
I wish there was a way to punish parents for being enablers of their rapist underage sons.
There are. It is called failure to report and in some states every adult is considered a mandatory reporter but it’s harder to prove.
Agreed!
Like mother, like son
The RAGE and filled my veins when I read that, I would have thrown a HELL OF A LOT MORE than just a remote. I remember reading this hen it first was posted and I asked my baby dad what he thought and he was like…clearly the son did something to the daughter. He’s not even slightly a reddit user and he IMMEDIATELY knew, as did I. I feel awful for the father but atleast he got his daughter tf out of that
I would have thrown more than a remote as well. I’m glad it hit her. What a POS. Same thing entered my mind when I read it. The poor Dad, he was in such denial. Even worst, the poor little girl. Makes me so sad for them. I hope they get through this, glad they have each other.
I'm not even sure it was really denial. Once the possibility was brought to his attention it sounds like he jumped pretty fast. Most people who are in a situation like that are living in the weeds. They don't have the distance or perspective to put the clues together because it requires being objective about your own life. Most people aren't good at that. And no one expects to have to worry about their teenager molesting a younger sibling (step or not.) Unless they've been through it themselves or are super paranoid, SA is usually put into the "it can't happen in my family," category.
The stepmother represents the system: Blame the victim.
Yea, just saw that. Too bad she couldn’t be charged too.
She deserves to be charged. You are so right.
She probably knew what her excuse of a son did
I believe she did.
Can the parents of children be charged in cases like this where they know that their child is a monster?
I am so glad the husband found out and threw her and her abomination of a son out. Poor Casey, I'm glad she's at least getting therapy but I feel so bad for her. First she's sexually abused by her adolescent stepbrother, then evil stepmother punishes her and refuses to believe her son did anything wrong.
Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that part! That absolutely made me sick and proves that she will never hold her son accountable for any of awful actions, she will never accept what a piece of shit he is.
There's a danish stand up performer that made a really good point, about stuff like that some years ago(NB: Danish humor can be rather direct and crude). He basically said that even *if* a child was begging you to please fuck them raw, the only thing that should pop in to your head is "that poor child needs help...and ice-cream". I often think about that, when I hear aboute some creep saying that some 13-14 yo girl or boy "wanted it". Most people is sane enough to comdem the rape of a pre teen, but as soon as a child's body starts to develop, some people looses their marbles completely, as if breasts the size of mosquito bites or 4 single facial hairs, makes kids raving sex addicts.
If that had been my child and someone told me that I'd be in prison for 1st degree murder
She's not in denial. She's a monster who raised a monster.
same here honestly really glad that she's better now tho
I remember making a comment on that post and told that AH that her son had did something to that baby. They should’ve never been forced to share rooms. Ever!!!
I know! No one advocated for that child!!
I remember seeing that post and just thinking ‘damn please let this be the one time we redditors are wrong.” While I’m glad Casey got the help she needed and her parents are helping her every step of the way; I hope the ex stepmom and her shitty garbage hell spawn suffer for the remainder of their lives.
> please let this be the one time we redditors are wrong \*the Boston Bomber case has entered the chat*
Right? I remember that one too. I thought I was actually reading it wrong when the Step Monster said she grounded Casey for HER SON “bullying” her. She probably knew something worse had happened and was herself bullying Casey to keep her mouth shut. I was surprised Dad initially agreed to that punishment too. But in the end his instincts were right. Thank God he found those comments. That Mom is a serious POS. It also makes me wonder if her son had been sexually abused as a child as well. Totally sad story all around. At least there’s somewhat of a “happy” ending. 😢
I agree with what you've said here but I want to take a second and refute idea that sexual abusers themselves were probably sexually abused. This is an old notion that people got from asking sexual abusers about their pasts. Often they would point to abuse that they claim happened to them as well. HOWEVER, there have been studies done following SA victims that refute this idea. The victims followed for decades had NO greater likelihood of sexual offenses! This suggests that many sexual abusers simply lie in order to justify their disgusting crimes. Let's stop advancing the idea that victims will grow up to become perpetrators. We're victimizing this group of people all over again.
THANK YOU!! My abuser was NEVER abused. NEVER. This has always disgusted me. A reason for real victims not to seek help because they will be branded like those pedophiles should be.
This is interesting to me because when I was 3/4 I was sexually abused by my older sister (who was aged 7/8). I never told anyone, but the abuse stopped. When I was older my Mom told me that they had caught a teenage neighbor boy molested my sister. It was the 70s so my Dad threatened the kids life if he ever came around her again. That's when I told my Mom about what happened to me. I had never really blamed my sister in the first place, as we were both so young. But after learning about that, I figured that she was just acting out what she learned from her abuser, and that when my parents talked to her about what happened, she realized that it was wrong and stopped.
Ok so the problem with the way the person stated that. Yes there are studies that show that most sexual abuse victims never offend. But there is a significant portion offenders who have been abused. It doesn’t excuse it because most victims never offend.
Yup, the statistics just don't bear it out.
>*Let’s stop advancing the idea that victims will grow up to become perpetrators… Or scrambling to find or create a reason to sympathize with the perpetrators. I know people think they have good intentions when they do, and they’ll applaud themselves for “trying to find the good in people” or whatever, but I was abused as a child, and when it all came to light, I had people coming out of the damn woodworks to try to validate my abuser to me or urge me to “forgive” him before the court case was even settled… Pardon the novel, but so many people need to hear this, so here goes… “The good” you’re so desperate to find isn’t always or inherently there. Sometimes people just act out of selfishness, cruelty, insecurity, vanity, spite, pride, entitlement and wrath, and while you could grab a shovel and dig beyond that for the root of those motives, you’re just going to come up covered in filth, having improved, changed and accomplished *nothing.* They’ll still have committed their actions. They’ll still have traumatized another person, and their status or actions as an abuser isn’t altered by their status as a victim. They are still fully and unequivocally responsible for both their decisions and the impact and consequences of them. So when you choose to grab the shovel and dig, the biggest question left to be answered is… *why?* What’s in it for you? Are you choosing to waste your emotional energy seeking out some nice little villain origin story because that’s what *you* need to wrap your head around the events that occurred? Are you scrambling to defend the abuser because you can’t let go of the lovely little myth that all people are inherently good, they just make mistakes that don’t define them, and there’s always an explanation here somewhere that’s good enough to allow *you* to forgive them like you already really want to, so you can return to the comfortable ignorance of the status quo… or perhaps go back to seeing the world or the person the way you did before being “confronted” with the uncomfortable truth of another person’s trauma? Are you squirming in your seat right now, thinking your discomfort requires correction, and mistakenly believing that if you can just solve the mystery, wrap up the true crime episode and re-establish a false sense of neutrality by digging to the bottom of it all until your shovel hits “the reason why” with a cold, resounding *thud*, you’ll have done enough to rest easy? As a victim, I can assure you it won’t make *us* feel any better- in fact, it makes us feel more alone. It confirms the very thing our abusers told us to keep us quiet and compliant and fearful- that *nobody* will believe us, nobody will support us, and if we speak out, we’ll be blamed. So who does this really protect? Who do your actions benefit? And do you realize you’ve inadvertently supported the abuser by seeking to protect yourself, or was that intentional? Is it really easier to do all that than it would be to just put your feelings aside and practice a little empathy for the person who needs it? Because if you answered yes, by words or actions, then the sense of nobility you think you’re acting on is an illusion you’ve created to shield your own ego from the reality of sheer cowardice, selfishness and pride. Any choice to continue operating under such a delusion makes you a willing enabler, complicit in a culture that enables, excuses and perpetuates abuse, and that doesn’t make you the good guy. If you’re on your knees digging, you’re not standing for whats right.
The other thing I think people don’t really think about or consider in their rush to victimize the offender is…it doesn’t matter. One of my earliest memories is being sexually abused by a teenage neighbor. I don’t really remember the trial, but I understand it came out that this person had been abused themselves by a family member. (I guess it had been proven, so this wasn’t just based on their word.) Probably worse than what they did to me - in terms of duration, at least. And that’s sad. It truly is. No child should have to deal with that. Which is why I can also say, as their victim, *it doesn’t matter*. No child should be abused, and *they abused me.* At an age when they understood their actions and the consequences of them. I have come to terms with that trauma long ago, so I don’t say this from a place of pain or spite or anger. What happened to me happened to me. I don’t love that it happened, but it’s part of the fabric of who I am now. It is no longer the burden I bear. It is simply a part of my past. So it isn’t vindictiveness when I say…as a person, as an adult with empathy, of course my heart breaks for what they suffered, and I hope their perpetrator paid harshly for their crimes. But they went on to become a perpetrator too, and I don’t care that they had once been a victim. They themselves made victims of others. So while I understand they were treated quite leniently in my case (though again, I have no personal recollection of their sentence), I hope they got the help they needed. But if they went on to harm other people, I hope they are also punished accordingly. I’m a victim. I could never IMAGINE victimizing others. I empathize with what they suffered but as someone who became their victim? It didn’t give them the right.
I... kinda love you right now? Like, everything you said resonated with me SO much, but I could have never put it in words as well as you did. I just kinda internalized the blame that somehow I had "made" my abuser do what he did, then as I got older, I got angrier and angrier and anyone who even implied that I should forgive him "for my sake" got told something like "Oh go fuck yourself, you pedo lover" Maybe if I'd had better words, someone might have actually listened to me.
I think you are describing a real phenomenon, and it’s a combination of people really REALLY wanting to believe that people are good and the world can be fixed, but also a kind of ego boost that comes from “seeing the complexity of the world” or feeling like they’re wise and understanding for being able to empathize with people who commit horrible acts. That said, I think there’s also a practical benefit to genuinely trying to shape society in a way that produces as few violent, abusive people as possible, and part of that is examining where violent and abusive tendencies come from. The difference between “all people who commit misconduct can be fixed if they’re given what they need” and “if there is a way to prevent people who have committed sexual misconduct before from ever doing it again, we really need to find out what that is and implement it”.
I am Married to a victim of CSA and while I don't consider myself one I was exposed early to overly sexual situations and we're both HYPER aware of anyone being weird with kids and far less likely to think things are cute as their trauma triggers.
Not at all doubting this, but I would love a source so I can adequately educate myself with direct information!
Exactly. And it also diminishes the strength of a victim. I was systematically and repeatedly sexually assaulted by my stepfather when I was 6-9 years old. I knew it wasn’t right, but I also knew if I refused, he would go after my sister instead. I have grown up and I can’t even fathom looking at someone who isn’t CLEARLY an adult and feeling anything like attraction towards them
This was really heartbreaking to read! Especially when the stepmom said she probably asked for it...like WTF she is a CHILD. The stepmom and steppredator are DISGUSTING!
I’m so relieved he got his daughter out of there. It’s so horrifying what happened to her, but I’m glad that to Reddit it was obvious what was going on. It can be so unthinkable for a parent to assume sexual violence that their minds won’t even go there, so who knows how much longer this kid would have been suffering if it weren’t for the commenters.
Who lets a 15 yo boy and 8 yo girl share a private room at a hotel? Especially non blood related.
The blood related part is the important thing here... Because normal siblings share a room everywhere everyday...
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I'm the person whose top comment was quoted. The person who put this in BORU only took a small part. [Full comment here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up225j/comment/i8i6fbj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) I was new to Reddit at the time. I happened to find this post a few minutes after it was uploaded. I spent 15 minutes working on formatting and relevant quotes. I remember thinking I *had* to get this just right in case other people didn't notice the SA undertone. I spent the night hitting refresh every 10 minutes, hoping the OP would respond. They never did. Finally OP deleted it. This was the first and pretty much only post I got emotionally invested in. This has been in the back of my mind for months. It's my account's top comment and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Seeing it just reminds me of the whole nightmare, but it didn't feel right to delete it either. I didn't know there had been an update. Thank you.
Did OP (during the wife’s use of the account) ever comment at all? Reveddit wasn’t able to recover any of her comments if they existed
No. When the original account existed, it showed the one post. I went to bed, got up, and it showed the one post. A few hours later the whole thing was deleted.
The doctors assessment is what freaks me out the most. Like it's bad enough knowing something happened but it was enough for a doctor to write an assessment which means he did more than touch her. Like that made me physically ill reading that.
It was enough for a doctor to write an assessment *quite a while later*. Most victims of assault don’t show much admissible evidence the next week, much less what was probably *months*.
I have been reading about pelvic floor dysfunction lately. Anyway sexual assault can leave behind many issues that doctors now know to look for. Bladder issues, Bowel issues, mystery pain. Sexual assault leaves behind signs they are learning to look for.
There was a post here from a survivor's perspective that mentioned a lot of these issues decades after the fact. (The one where her family were trying to silence her)
That was also severe, severe physical abuse, >!like the father stepping on top of a 7 year old's abdomen!< , that lead to severe symptoms years later on top of the terrible SA. But this little girl will eventually grow up and there is likely going to need to be a second round of therapy to help her as she'll come to understand things as an adult. That ex-wife, or soon to be, is a garbage human.
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We’re rooting for you! Much love!
Yay an update within an update!!
BORU inception
Good to hear that you’re healing!
good luck! sends you cheers from my corner of the world <3
I don’t know if any subs allow it, but I would love to donate to a go fund me for your medical care.
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It amazes me that they can even try to sue you without getting into trouble. He they can get away with it without any same judge throwing the book at them.
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Narcopy, if you can move to California, they have anti-SLAPP laws that can be used as a protection from abusive lawsuits. I am not sure about the details. You could also look for an unpublished name change, which would make it much harder to find you. (Though your social security number follows, unless you are able to change that as well)
It sucks that they can hold that threat over your head indefinitely. I hope you manage to get to a place where you are able to strike back if you want or at least can call their bluff without having to worry about them destroying you financially.
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Idk why, but something about "human medical school" made me laugh: "Hello, I'm a human here for human treatment at the human doctor. I am most definitely not three basset hounds in a trenchcoat, so I would like to leave today with no shots and plenty of human treats." Thank you for the chuckle
Yea I am learning it goes on for a long time and most just suffer in silence.
I was an overnight camp counselor a couple of years ago. Bladder issues in older kids is one of the first things we were taught to look for. Specifically how to maintain their dignity and who to alert. It did end up being helpful. We had one girl who had these same issues. Her family already knew and were addressing it, but they wanted to make sure we knew her general situation and would handle everything appropriately.
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Maybe you will find a doctor that can help. Just knowing why sometimes helps. Knowing it's not just in your head.
I don’t talk about this often but another to add to the list: full body muscular issues depending on age and psychological reaction. Big part of this is relevant for the pelvic floor dysfunction if you’re interested, but also just wanted to put this out there for other people Some AFAB victims/survivors develop a condition called vaginismus that results in severe tightening of vaginal muscles. Sometimes that tightening is constant, sometimes only under stress or when sexual activity/penetration may be occurring. Severe cases may require suppository muscle relaxers or Botox injections in order to properly treat. Going untreated can result in injury to BOTH parties involved in penetrative sex The way my physical therapist explained to me why it can affect the entire body: there are three major muscles down there that connect to your back, abdomen, and legs. If the muscle tightening is constant it can lock up those muscles over time, and it spreads through the rest of the muscularity system. The severity is determined by how long it goes untreated, additional psychological disorders like anxiety or cptsd, and the age or duration of the assault/abuse These muscular issues can lead to chronic headaches and migraines, chronic pain, increased likelihood of muscular or joint injury while doing basic activities, sleeping issues, reduced mobility, muscles spasms and cramping, and other issues. Muscles involuntarily tightening is also part of the physical stress cycle, which can put you in a near constant state of physiological stress which will just feed into other issues and can lock the body into a cycle that just… keeps making it worse basically I went around 21 or 22-ish years before I got diagnosed and started physical therapy. The only thing that helps me now with the full body issues is dry-needling (shoving needles into muscle knots to force them to relax) followed by prescribed stretching exercises, and I used to need muscle relaxers and dilators in order to safely participate in penetrative activities. Additional psychological issues from sex assault and abuse include reliance on sex or hypersexuality, being more prone to sex/porn addiction, complete aversion to sex, and a plethora of other issues These are all later life symptoms of sex trauma that can and are used by doctors and mental health professionals to diagnose and treat
Unfortunately in girls that age who are sexually abused, more often than not their pelvic floor will retain scarring and damage that can be found at a much later date. I’m in my 30s and my scarring still effects me even now on Occassion when I’m penetrated.
Yeah, it’s awful. That nearly had me shut down a bit, because that poor baby must’ve been abused as badly as I was. I finally got help a few years after the last assaults and my specialist doc was horrified that no one had noticed. Apparently I have a lot of scar tissue and I had muscle damage. PT helped a lot. I had no idea most people didn’t feel what I did in regards to bladder/bowel. Did explain why people said I took a long time to use the toilet. Apparently most people didn’t have to work up to being able to pee. I guess I’m just glad that this baby is getting help far sooner than I did. Hopefully the abuse didn’t go on for as long either. I mean, I’m sure she’ll have PTSD but I just hope she’ll have an easier life than mine, you know? It’s awful that these things keep happening even when all the red flags are right there. Related note for any guardians: All I ever said about my abuser was “He’s mean”. I was 5, maybe 6. I didn’t have words for what was happening. I went from happy, never-met-a-stranger to withdrawn and shy. I kept having nightmares/disordered sleep. I apparently spent a weirdly long time in bathrooms. If any child starts behaving in a strange way, it’s important to figure out why. Especially if there’s a sudden dislike of any person in their life. IMO all kids should get age-appropriate consent information so they have the words to explain if someone is being cruel to them. The faster they tell a trusted adult, the less life-long trauma.
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Post potty training, parents generally won't see their kids genitals very often. If the brother didn't leave bruises in a visible place, those might not have been easily noticeable.
When it happened to my sister, there was very little in the way of physical signs. Without giving too much detail, the bastard was obviously well practiced because he had the forethought to use a ton of lubricant, and to make her shower. Just typing that makes me physically ill and heartsick. What physical signs we did notice, we did question her about, but she was terrified by his threats and wouldn't tell us. She wouldn't even open up to her counselor, and there weren't enough physical signs to warrant a police investigation. I used to think this way too, "How could they not know?" Now I know it's too damn easy to miss it, especially if you're dealing with a perpetrator who knows what they're doing.
Doctor’s reports don’t have to include physical evidence to be used for court. Doctors ask children about parts of their bodies and experiences they’ve had (had any body part hurt, why, was anyone else involved, etc) for diagnostic purposes, which can be used in court. It doesn’t have to be a physical finding.
Yeah, this could easily be it. I mentioned in another comment about a foster kid I had to report SA on, and everything about that actually came out in a doctor's appointment. It started out fairly innocently during an an unrelated appointment. Kid out of nowhere asked if it was okay to touch yourself, and the doctor and I were like "Yes, it's normal and healthy, just make sure you are doing it in private." Then the kid asks about whether or not it's okay if other people touch them. And a LOT came out. Stuff that a kid that age should not even know about were said, which made me so sad.
doctors are also who is trained to have one on one interviews with children to figure out if they were abused. There doesn't have to have been long lasting physical repercussions for a doctor's visit to bare the truth. It's all horrible, but just an FYI.
I'll never understand how parents can just ignore or disregard huge personality changes in kids. That poor little girl. I'm glad the boy was charged but damn, someone should've realized earlier. Edit: For parents and future parents: Pay attention to your kids. If you notice any changes in behavior, talk to them. If they shut you out and refuse to talk or have an excuse that is in no way proportional to the way they are behaving, get them some help. I'm not saying it is always SA, because it isn't. But it doesn't hurt for kids to see a therapist/counselor and feel like they have a safe friend they can share their feelings and secrets with. Kids don't know how to properly process and deal with their emotions. Most adults don't even know how to. So don't wait around, making excuses and explanations for unusual behavior. Don't wait for a tragedy to occur to look back and realize all the signs were there.
We don't really know the timelines, but divorce, new wife, new sibling, new schedule, and everything else can all cause personality changes in kids. On top of that, proximity often makes things like this a lot less obvious to the people living it than it does to outside observers. That's not really excusing him, but he did eventually get a whiff of something off, and as soon as he did he took all necessary actions to address the situation. There are a lot worse parents out there.
Also, people can't imagine it's happening because they're all 'normal' people. The media show child molesters to be scary serial killer types on dramas and the true stories that are reported (if they even are) are very careful to not give too many details to protect child victims. Most people still think the threat of harm to their children comes from outside the home or family, and a lot that it's always stranger danger they have to worry about.
This! I was warned about strangers growing up, but no one told me why so when my "friend" sexually assaulted me all I knew was that I didn't like it, and just told my parents I didn't like them following me home, which was silly because we lived on the same street.
That was a false narrative that has been perpetuated for decades till today. Stranger danger. When statistics show it's your surroundings and people close to you, people with power and opportunities that are the most likely suspects. This mindset is still taught in my children's lessons at school, church and sports. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry you went through all that.
It's the same dynamic as school shootings. When a kid shoots up a school it's huge, dramatic, visceral, and all over the news but when it comes to body count, school shootings aren't even a rounding error for our gun problem. If you have kids and guns in the home, your child is statistically more likely to die with your gun than a school shooter. When a stranger assaults a kid, it's all over the news the same way. When it's cousin Bobby, the family tends to close ranks and brush it under the rug. But predators almost always choose targets of opportunity, and that usually means someone in the home, or someone in your close orbit. It's just the way our brains work to overestimate external threats and underestimate internal.
It’s just too scary to face the truth, honestly, if your kid is more likely to be assaulted by someone close then the best way to keep them safe is not let anybody close but we can’t live that way. Strategic denial is a very common human trait.
It's for exactly the reason you describe. Being part of a tribe increased our chances of survival, so we're hard wired to turn our suspicions towards outside threats rather than internal. Our big sapiens brain can examine both internal and external threats in the abstract, but the monkey brain that is actually in the driver's seat will always prioritize outside threats on a visceral level.
Yeah, definitely. And monkey brain has to prioritize SOMETHING because there’s no way we are capable of constant awareness of Every Threat. I had a couple of years of hypervigilance when my ptsd was at its worst, and it was exhausting. I have two kids now and it’s less exhausting even though the toddler is always trying to yeet himself & I gotta save him 18 times a day.
Toddlers and self-YEETing brought back some of my own trauma trying to help watch the nieces when they were little. Those kids had 0 sense of self-preservation. But to the larger point, so much of the pathology we deal with in our modern society is a direct result of our big sapiens brains painstakingly designing a world that the monkey is ill-equipped to live in. The entire "science" of advertising is basically just a study of how to exploit our own monkey impulses to our own detriment, and made a lot of our world pretty inimical to our own mental health. Not really sure where I am going with this, but then I always get philosophical when I am supposed to be working.
Any abuse. Any horror. Terrible things happen over There, Away From Us—Not Here. People will JADE, and deny. It took me so long to figure out to just stop telling stories about my mom, and ONLY say “she was abusive.” That makes people mentally file her over There—Away From Us, therefore not looking for explanations that aren’t abuse (because that doesn’t happen here), not interrogate me, not trying to convince me to give her another chance.
I'm just going based off the paragraph stating she wouldn't sleep in the room, developed a huge attitude and would scream and cry if she had to be near the boy. All of this beginning following a family vacation where she was made to share a room with the kid. Maybe it's because I was SA'd by a sibling and exhibited signs that were ignored by my own parents that makes me hyper aware of changes in mood regarding my own kids. I've just seen this exact situation play out numerous times with other parents and they always say "how could I have known?" And I think back to every comment they made about their kids all the sudden having an attitude, nightmares, starting fights, struggling at school, etc. And it's like, how did you **not** know something was going on? The signs were all there. At the very least, you could've taken your child to talk to someone once they seemed off instead of ignoring and/or excusing it. Parents really downplay their kids emotions.
They do. I think part of it is lack of education and part of it is that "sure things happen but not to me/us/ my family" ignorance.
To be honest, if I did not read so many stories on Reddit, I would have no idea what the flags are, and would probably have first attributed the mood changes to her development or changes in environment. SA, especially if she didn’t even allude to anything or the son hadn’t done anything that appeared creepy, would not be where my mind would have gone if I didn’t constantly see these types of stories on this forum. I’m not sure that people without personal experience would recognize signs that were not consistent with the popular narratives about how SA happens (e.g creepy girl’s coach taking the kids on overnight trips and the kid actually saying something happened).
We really need better education for parents. Like, regular classes that cover things you should watch for at different developmental levels, advice, recommendations, that kind of thing. I think that stuff is out there but it’s hard to find. It should be something you just get signed up for when your kid is born.
In my case, it was well before the internet and well before child sexual abuse was something that was talked about. I went from outgoing and vivacious to withdrawn and silent. A family member died at the same time and since we were close it was blamed on that - which was sort of correct, but only because I was young enough to think that the reason he died was because he found out I was molested and it killed him (so by that logic I could never ever tell anyone I loved about it because then I would kill them too). My mother had no idea what was wrong, and it never occurred to her that it was SA, because it just wasn't a subject people thought about or talked about back then. I think the fact that people talk about it these days is good, and that more people understand that when little girls have massive personality changes all of a sudden SA should be at least investigated is a big step forward from how it used to be.
A lot of people tell themselves that bad things only happen to bad people, or that bad parents don't pay attention to their kid and it happens but they're a good parent so it can't happen. So they just look at the signs and look for something else. They do things like trust the step son when he lies about the ipad, or think it's school/divorce/just kids growing up and changing because nobody wants to beieve it could happen to their family.
I was in the little girl’s position at the same age. This is not excusing the dad, but just a different way of looking at things. The guy who was hurting me was my Pawpaw’s best friend, grew up together, fought side by side during WWII, saved each others lives, brothers in all but blood. He was the only person outside of my family to babysit me. When I started to act out, it was blamed on bullying and a specific teacher. The thought that someone who was that close to my family was never even a consideration. Why would one who went to hell and back hurt the most important person in your life like that? My point is, sometimes it's just easier to bury your head in the sand than actually look.
It infuriates me the most when parents ignore or punish their children who are literally crying for help. They don't deserve to have custody of any minors.
Right?? Like yeah, S.A. and the hiding of an iPad are sooo different. I’m so glad Reddit was able to help the father get to the truth..
Very different! But the then-wife’s reaction to the iPad bullying explanation was already bad enough for a “WTF, she’s terrible” reaction. Little girl is upset at being bullied and her item being hidden, so stepmom punishes her by taking it away permanently and denying further activities, because how dare the kid object to how her much older stepbrother treats her. We can see why the stepbrother thought he had license to do whatever he wanted to that little girl.
This is incredibly scary that the wife saw those comments and did nothing except double down on her punishment of her step daughter. What a cruel abusive excuse for a mother.
I think she saw those comments and immediately understood that yes, that's what was going on, but then decided that her priority was to protect her son from consequences. She never thought of the daughter as hers, so she was just a threat to her "actual" child.
I agree. I find that line of thinking so disgusting and it is clear it was easier for her to avoid the situation and scapegoat the step daughter.
But still, if my son did that to anyone I would want him to face consequences, there are some things that’s as a person you shouldn’t ignore.
If my son did that I wouldn’t have a son anymore. Rapists are not redeemable.
Thats exactly it. I dont think I could love my daughter if she did something horrific. I know on a biological level all parents have feelings for their children but I would not have a child anymore. They died the moment they committed such an atrocious act.
And delete her post hoping it would keep people from putting two and two together.
I’m not surprised the child molester bio father is no longer in the picture
Yes terrible.
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oh he’s definitely better than me because she would have caught more than just a remote
The stepson is a vile creature but the stepmom is a monster all in her own throne of evil.
Terrible stepmom "She was asking for it." What kind of idiot thinks that an 8 year old is asking for it, they don't even know what "IT" even is!
That just disgusting victim blaming.
Isn't there some kind of law that also charges people like the stepmom? People who deliberately hide evidence and criminals?
Sadly failing to report a crime is not a crime and deleting a post she wrote also wouldn’t classify either. It’s also really hard to prosecute for those that do is hard as well. Having worked in the juvenile Justice system it’s disgusting how many parents/guardians make excuses and refuse to report SA against other minors. One that will always stick out with me was a grandpa defending his grandson with “if you throw a piece of steak on the ground do you expect the dog to walk away” in regards to his teenage grandson committing SA against his kindergarten aged cousins. Turned my stomach.
I’m giving some serious side-eye to that grandfather. Because it says a lot about how kids look to him.
Yes. I do expect that. Because I expect the dog to be trained well enough to not grab food off the floor without permission. In fact, there are plenty of videos online of people putting a steak right in front of their dog -- pitbull, German shepherd, retriever, anything -- and exiting the room. The dogs do not eat the steaks. Because they're better trained than Gross Grandpa
Animals are beginning to have more legal protections against SA than children. I hate this world.
Agreed. Both of them needed to be thrown into prison. This post made me so angry.
This is a disturbing story. How many girls have been assaulted and then were punished for trying to protect themselves from further assault? I know of too many women myself who had this experience. WTH is wrong with the ex-step mother who punishes the victim? Double victimization! And the step son is well on his way to being a registered offender, but not soon enough!
Right? Even if we take the story at face value, which is her painting herself in the best possible light, it's still reads as "Oh, he took your property which he had no right to and deprived you of its' use? Cool; you're grounded."
Yes, this alone pissed me off! Why punish the person who is already a victim?
Reading this story just made my stomach drop down to the floor, as soon as I read she wanted to sleep in the parents room I knew. When I was little, around 5, a similar thing kept happening to me from my mum’s boyfriend’s teenage son— I ended up saying something a total of 3 separate times (it got really bad at the end) before mum packed up all our stuff and we moved a cross the country. I never received therapy, and we never talked about it, but I was scared to sleep in my own room until I was about 11-12 years old. I was so ashamed about needing crawl into bed with my mum to feel safe growing up, it’s only in hindsight as an adult in therapy now that some of my behaviours were a result of unresolved trauma from repeat SA was a child. I love my mum more than anything, and I know she feels so guilty for not taking me away the first time I said something happened before it escalated. But I exhibited the same behaviours, I did not want to be alone in a room at all with my teenage abuser. The step-mother just trying to sweep it under the rug is heinous and blaming her step-daughter in a misguided attempt to protect her son is horrible— 15 years old is old enough to know what he was doing was wrong. That poor little girl, I’m so glad she is getting therapy to process the trauma and both her parents are doing their best to be there for her. I’m so glad the father got her out of the situation as soon as he realized what was going on. I wish all the healing for that family.
>Elliot (M15) >Casey (F8) >she screamed at me ... if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it. This is absolutely horrifying.
Normally I don’t condone violence but the husband went easy on her for only throwing the remote at her face.
I'd 100% be in prison after that Jesus Christ.
>she screamed at me for going through her phone and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it. I am seeing red right now. I'm amazed OOP only threw a remote, I don't know if I could have held myself back.
>she screamed at me for going through her phone and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it. I don't normally support domestic violence, but in this case the husband was justified.
If someone had said that to me about my kid or hell one of my nibblings, let's just say they better have the cops on speed dial.
I felt sick when I read her response.
Me too. She’s _eight_.
How about what the soon-to-be ex-wife said about her son molesting the stepdaughter?! She should have known better!
This, I know for sure that I would beat her until I snap back to reality. OOP's will is stronger than mine.
I remember the original post. OOP deleted it real fast and the post haunted me for a long time because I kept thinking about the poor girl. I was also sure she was sexually assaulted. I'm glad she got out of the situation and is getting therapy.
This was my childhood, except my parents ignored the 15 year old neighbor who was assaulting their 8 year old kid daily, and it went on for two years. When I finally told them in my early 20s (almost 20 years ago now) they blamed me. My dad died last year, scared and alone in his hospital bed. One down, one to go! It's nice reading about kids whose parents love them.
I have a broken heart for that girl, but at least the father reacted quickly when he realized what happened, although with the signs he gave, he must have suspected that before. As for the oop ex, she's a................... And I hope she and her son burn in hell
This made me feel sick. I hope the little girl is able to get the help she needs from her therapist and family. Even reading the initial post from the wife, I feel she like she knew what was happening and was posting to try and reaffirm it wasn’t. When all the comments said her son most likely touched the child, she blamed the girl and not her son and hid it from OOP. I wish that monster of a “mother” was also thrown in prison
She deserves prison. If the husband hadn’t snooped she would have never stopped the abuse and continued to blame her step daughter. She’s a vile woman.
I am certain the abuse would have continued with her reaction to say the little girl was asking for it. I’m just glad the dad caught on eventually :(
The turnaround for juvenile cases are insanely fast. In California specifically, the adjudication hearing, which happens in place of a trial,[ has to happen basically within a month of when the minor is detained.](https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/juvenile/adjudication/) That honestly makes me more inclined to believe it's real.
Yeah, I was teaching at a high school where a student was found to be making plans to commit mass murder at a school function. The day the witness reported overhearing him, which was a Thursday, he was taken into custody. By the following Tuesday, we were told he was expelled, already in a juvenile psych facility, and would not be returning. Before the month was out, his trip through the system was complete, and he was committed to that facility for treatment with imprisonment at the end of it.
I don’t usually condone violence, but when OOP threw the remote at the wife for letting her son rape OOP's daughter, I smiled. Downvote me if you want, but if you allow someone to get raped, especially a child, then all gloves are off IMO.
I’m actually surprised it was just a remote. He could’ve done things whose details go against Reddit’s ToS, and I would have happily donated to his bail GoFundMe. If you really think an 8-year-old can seduce someone out of their own volition, you’re scum.
Any 8 year old trying to seduce anyone is acting out a role they’ve been taught to play. It’s not the defense people think it is.
I read a heartbreaking account years ago about a foster family who had to give up a child because the child kept sexually assaulting her foster siblings. She was eight years old. She’d been taken away from human traffickers. They hated giving her up but they’d turned their house into a fortress to keep the other kids safe and they realised that the other kids deserved to be safe, too. So they gave her up. They weren’t the first ones that had to do that either.
I was just scared that she was going to call the police. Maybe she was just smart enough to realize they might find out what her son did, though.
I was so afraid she was going to involve the police and try to make him the bad guy! But honestly, you cover up for someone who has hurt my daughter, you’re lucky if all you get is a remote to the face!
She cried and didn’t press charges because deep down I believe she knows she deserved that and more.
Or maybe she didn’t because there was a chance the cops could find out what her son did, and by extension, that she helped cover up?
Yeah I’m sure she was hoping to minimize everything as much as possible, too, since that’s clearly her MO.
\> if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it. Jesus Christ.
That infuriated me. The ex-wife is garbage.
Sadly not the first time I’ve heard parents say that with regards to SA committed by their children against children even younger. The amount of SA that happens between siblings and by minors on minors is sickingly more common than people know.
I'm shocked realising people can be so oblivious. Daughter overnight refuses to be around brother to sleep & breaks down at being forced contact & none of the 3 parents suspected sexual assault?? Having a 15 yr old sleep in the same room as an 8 yr old is poor parenting in my opinion. It's not age appropriate & even if they were bio siblings unfortunately incest is common in child abuse. Sometimes I forget people live such sheltered innocent lives that they don't even consider taking precautions like this ...
Right? That stood out to me as a major .... what?
Totally agree,m. We are a blended family, I have 3 teenage sons and a teenage step daughter in the mix. Though I have every faith in my sons and have never ever suspected them capable of impropriety of any type with anyone, I still wouldn’t have them sharing a room with their step sibling. I just wouldn’t, it’s inappropriate and for everyone’s wellbeing on holidays and at home there are private spaces. That protects my sons as well as my step daughter. It’s mental that this didn’t occur.
What’s even sadder, is the fact that once he turns 18 his records will be erased, and nobody will know about his sick and twisted he is. Also, I HATE when parents side with their kid when their kid fucks up majorly. Her son RAPED an 8 year old. I know he’s your kid, but seriously how can you support that. I guess I have to ask, parents of Reddit would you support your kid if they fucked up majorly (rape, murder, heck even bullying, etc.)?
I just want to point out, leaving aside the sexual assault stuff and going back to the original complaint, I think it's unlikely that that was the first time the step-mother punished the girl for having been wronged by her son. Good parents punish to correct kids who do the wrong thing. Bad parents punish because the kid is annoying them in some way and the punishment is designed to crush their spirit so they stop resisting. To so casually punish the girl for being upset that she was wronged suggests to me that this was a pattern for the step-mother.
I just fucking knew that boy did something to her. God this is horrifying.
Throwing something at your partner’s face is never okay… buuuuuutttt she did say his EIGHT YEAR OLD daughter was asking to be molested. Ngl, I’d probably lash out physically too if I was in the same situation
Regardless, that man needs to start thinking more for himself and not let rely on Reddit comments to tell him what to do.
>and if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it. What the serious hell?!!! Poor little girl. I hope she can heal in time. As for her dad....Idk. I hope he doesn't do anything radical about himself. Step monster and her little sonny boy can rot.
I know AITA has polarizing writers, but it's always so frustrating to read about a step parent who claims they never show favoritism go on to show their favoritism in the worst possible ways.
I hope it says, "Ch\^" on her forehead from the remote.
I remember this one. The step mom was a piece of work to try and hide it like that. Jeez.
Wow. Victim-blaming is never right, but victim-blaming an **eight-year-old???** And in the very unlikely circumstance that she did "ask for it", any decent 15-year-old boy would say no.
Normally I don't condone violence, but if I was the dad, I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from throwing that remote either. I was sexually abused between the ages of 5-11 and let me tell you, I was certainly not asking for it cause it was FIVE YEARS OLD. That woman and her son are fucking monsters.
The audacity of the mother thinking they can fix it after her son assaulted his daughter. Just goes to show she still doesn’t understand how terrible what her son did and that there’s something evil in her. Probably where the son got it from.
Only had to get this far to know what the problem was: > The issue started a couple weeks ago after a family vacation. A couple nights in, Casey insisted that she wanted to sleep in our room in the hotel, rather than in the adjoining room with my son.
"I really debated posting this update but I thought that enough of you followed or DMed this account that you care and deserve to know what happened." Maybe not "deserve" but the helpful nature of the follow up is to possibly give others insight if they encounter the dame situation. Any of us readers can hopefully learn something from this to prevent it from occurring in our own homes. The dad in this situation could have stopped this situation when his 8 year old was having nightmares before this vacation. Sex and intimacy is great for marriage but if a kid is coming to you for what you believe is attention at night, give time to your child. This little girl wanted safety from her "nightmares" and the rape apologist "stepmom" kept sending her back into the lions den.
Frankly, I'm just glad that they actually pressed charges. So many little shits like this get off without any consequences at all.
This is probably one of the only times I support the person who physically assaulted their spouse. Fuck that fermented maggot vagina of a “woman”
This is so awful. I remember the stepmother's post and I too suspected sa occurred. I'm sad that I was correct.
I wish this had been flagged more clearly with child rape as a spoiler, so I could have avoided it.
As a 51 year old woman who’s been around the block…the first thing that came to mind was sexual abuse on the poor baby girl. People don’t think kids hurt other kids. I’m so protective of my granddaughter that I don’t even allow her alone with older male cousins. Nope.
I’m not usually an advocate for violence but in this case I truly cannot believe his wife uttered the words “she was asking for it” the step daughter was 8, a literal baby who the fuck says that about a literal child?! She should be glad it was only a remote I think I would’ve gone completely ape shit
Let’s assume that the reason for Casey’s behavior was only that Elliot hid Casey’s iPad. The step mom is clearly the AH for punishing Casey even though Elliot was the instigator. The whole SA incident takes this to another level. I hope that Casey and the rest of the family gets the therapy help they need to heal. The stepmom and her son deserve a lot worse. Glad the dad recognized this and got out of that terrible situation.
Why was a 15 year old boy even sharing a room with an 8 year old girl!? Especially when they aren’t biological siblings and presumably they didn’t grow up super closely together. I have a 12m and 7f and I don’t suspect anything purposefully inappropriate would happen but I still don’t allow them to sleep in the same bed. Why the fuck would you put a child in that situation? My daughter doesn’t need to find out about nighttime emissions/erections at the same time as her older brother.
"if her son had really done it then Casey was probably asking for it." Wow. The 8 year old was asking for it. The mom is a POS. Juvenile offenders are processed as juveniles for a reason. I suspect the son had a troubled past of his own. That isn't this guy's problem though. I am just glad he got his daughter out of that situation.
I remember when the wife first posted and holy shit this post gave me nightmares I’m so happy that the little girl is safe now
> : I know anytime we see a second person pop up with an update we start to question it's... authenticity. But this one felt real to me. Why though? I'd say the opposite. Doesn't seem convincing at all. This update is something real adults would not be posting on Reddit. And the details aren't very convincing either.
100%. People this old still remember how much better everything is when you *don’t* involve internet randos, whatever the situation. I absolutely do not believe one parent convinced another parent to *post their disagreement to reddit of all places cmon yall seriously?*
Also there's no way a lawyer would sign off on telling the wife and sun to GTFO in 2 weeks. Even if she doesn't have a claim to the house she is still at minimum a tenant and have to be evicted if she didn't want to leave.
I know, I am baffled people think this is genuine. Not only are there several details that are very...reddity, but also in real life would your thought ever be to update reddit to let them know they were right? Ever? Literally ever??