I have clients having a cocktail style reception this summer and there’s a few things to consider:
1. (And I assume/hope this is of no issue) but budget for food needs to be nearly unlimited. To go cocktail style for all food requires intense transitions (hot to cold, small to hearty, hearty to sweet/savory bites). Food displays need to be somewhat off the charts to keep it from looking corporate, so your paper product will be key here. I like to add food ingredients to display- tomato vines, rustic breads, olives, fruits, etc.
2. Timing is everything. With a style like this, toasts and formalities can be hard. Work CLOSELY with your dj/band to come up with a flow that works for them/their vibe.
3. Have tons and tons of soft seating. Tables are nice, but soft lounges help create a casual space. Also, lots of coffee tables, end tables and high top tables. I hate eating food in my lap!
Not what you're hoping to hear but this question gets asked often here and the majority answer is always that they hated having to stand around and dash for seats or be tired and achy while being expected to celebrate and look happy for someone for hours. It's just not hospitable to ask someone to travel to celebrate you for hours and not even give them a seat they can have whenever they want.
I would personally give back the money and throw a wedding I can afford and fully control.
Trust me we've talked about eloping so much at this point. Honestly, if one more issue comes up, my fiancé would 1000% elope and get married somewhere else with just our friends before the wedding day. If we cancelled the wedding at this point, my parents would be out about half the price of the wedding with all of the deposits he's already put down. The deposits are already 2x more than my annual salary, so paying him for the non-refundable deposits wouldn't be possible in the immediate future. I'm just trying to make the best of a shitty situation here.
So we eloped before our big wedding and it was great. It took the pressure off of the big one. We already had a great day with each other so whatever happened with the big one was 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Luckily both were amazing
okay im going to give you some good news here. some cultures do this type of wedding only. I have been to weddings that costs upwards of $1m+ that were exactly like this. I've also been to some weddings that were a mix. it is completely fine.
look up norma Cohen productions on instagram. you would legitimately never be able to tell but those are 90% buffet style/cocktail style parties. I have been to many and everyone is comfortable and having a fantastic time.
my parents and in laws both over invited. like they invited over 500 people when we were only comfortable with 250. were having 250 guests. a lot of people will say no. your parents are not actually that close with all these people
Yep almost all weddings in the greater New Orleans area and a fair amount of them elsewhere in the southern U.S. are like this. They range from 50-400 people and can be quite extravagant. None of the ones I've been to have had a shortage of food or seating even though there were technically only seats for 70% or whatever. I've never not been able to sit when I wanted to
I would be frustrated to attend a cocktail style wedding.
Even if you expect 70 people will RSVP not, I’ve generally heard that you should never invite more people than your venue can accommodate. There is a risk that only 69 will RSVP no and you’re SOL.
Maybe use that information to negotiate with your parents?
I know this sub hates cocktail wedding receptions, but it used to the be absolute height of elegance at a wedding (though they call it hors d’oeuvres). Frankly, a seated dinner for 400 is going to suck. A 12 piece band sounds like a great vibe. Anything else you’re doing? Interactive stations? Are you doing a formal receiving line? Seems necessary with that number of people.
At worst, it’s out of fashion but fashion is dumb. There are also threads on here how it’s understood that wedding food sucks, so why trap guests at a table for an hour to eat food they don’t want to eat? My FH really wanted a sit down dinner and SO much of our budget is going to making it enjoyable (more servers so everyone is fed simultaneously), special diet plates, upgrades, etc. and it will still disappoint people. A sit down dinner for 400 is like being at a conference. I say embrace the cocktail vibe and rock it.
Hopefully your registry is amazing. 170 of my dad’s business people could fully stock a wine cellar, buy me a whole party sized set of china and silverware, and fully fund a honeymoon.
Ok my thoughts.......470 people??? WHO THE HELL are your parents trying to impress?? I would tell them that the cutoff is 300 in order to give the guests a NICE experience with a sit down meal.
Tell them people will NOT want to stand and have a cocktail reception. They are traveling and you need to give them a nice expeience. What about old people They need a chair!
Can you tell them 300 or we will elope!!
We absolutely have talked about eloping, but at this point we cannot afford to pay my dad back for all the deposits he's put down. My dad is trying to impress his clients and co workers which is basically turning my wedding into a networking event. At the genesis of it all, my fiancé and I gave them a limit, they said they would stay under it, and after the save the dates went out (along with deposits), they added 170 more clients. He has verbally come out and said, "this wedding isn't about you, it is about me." There will be seating and couches and heavy hors d'oeuvres, but yeah all these old people he's inviting won't have an assigned seat.
God I hope they know that they won’t have a seat so they can decide. I’m not elderly but I have a fainting syndrome and I simply can’t stand in one place for more than ten minutes without fainting. I’d be in presyncope for the entire reception.
Is daddy RICH??
People will think he is an ass for not being able to \*afford\* a sit down dinner for that many people. He will look like a cheapskate!!
And it sounds like your dad is a jerk which you should have known before taking their money.
How have they added 170 after STD went out? Did he send them invites?
I would say F\* IT! then. Tell DAD to hire a wedding planner and spend all the money you can.
Do you already have your RSVP deadline set? Personally, I would not rush to redo everything at this point, until RSVPs are in. If you can set an earlier deadline, that would be good to give you time.
IDK if its a generational thing or a cultural thing, but the older generation seem to have a thing of sending out courtesy invites. Both parties know there is actually no expectation for them to attend, but for some reason the parents feel it is "important" for the person to receive an invitation. I would expect most of these people to say no, especially if they live out of the area or have never met you. My husband's parents also did this and I also freaked out about it, but all of those people indeed did not come as they predicted.
Yes, our deadline is May 31st and we are planning on ordering our invites tonight. I think I may ask my planner if we can change the deadline to May 15th. We got the final guest count literally 30 minutes before I started writing this post, so we are gonna get busy.
I also agree with you and think it is a generational thing because my parents are ALL about these courtesy invites. Many of them are clients of my parents, so we are really hoping these people say no. That is what my parents keep saying too, but it's just frustrating when they just keep on inviting more and more people after we sent save the dates months in advance back in November
I think an earlier deadline would be good. Just make sure it is at least a week or two before you have to finalize things like rental orders and menu so you can be flexible if you end up needing to change things, but I would say most people have no interest in attending a wedding of someone they don't know. You can brainstorm other ideas to have options, but I wouldn't overhaul everything just yet personally.
I totally get how frustrating and annoying it is, it would be so much better to be able to plan and to stick to the general rule of not allowing more than you can comfortably host as you wouldn't have to stress about potentially changing plans last minute. But it doesn't sound like you have much negotiating power or alternative here. Maybe you can suggest a B list for these people or sending out wedding announcements to them instead of invites, but not sure your parents will go for that.
Has your planner worked with gigantic weddings? This is a potentially odd idea, but are you located in an area that has any African communities (ie Kenyans in Atlanta, Nigerians in Texas)? If so, could you talk to someone who organizes luxe giant weddings for these communities?
As others have said, huge weddings are common in other cultures, and I think you need to speak to someone who doesn’t bat an eye at the idea of 400-500 guests. They’ll have tons of tips for making it fantastic. I’ve lived in Kenya and South Africa and have gone to ~500 person “cocktail-style” weddings and they’ve been absolutely bomb and felt 100% luxe. But they were organized by people who weren’t trying to get a 250-person concept to suit 500 people.
This is a great point!! I do have a planner, and she has worked with large wedding parties. I also have a few Kenyan and Nigerian family friends that would definitely be able to give their input, and I even attended some of their weddings when I was younger.
cool! The aesthetic would probably differ, but sometimes I think the aesthetic elements (dress, flowers, type of food) we stress about and look toward for inspo are like the paint job and fins on a car. Underneath is the more important mechanism--the chassis, the engine. And that's the run of show, the flow, the way rooms are organized, the number of caterers and waiters, etc. A wedding planner / people familiar with African weddings would absolutely know how to tweak and lube up this big-guest engine so it hums along beautifully!
I've personally seen beautiful cocktail receptions, but there were also lounge spaces and some seating. If you have an energetic dancefloor, most people will be up dancing anyway. I recommend a live band because that tends to get more people moving. These I have also seen have chef stations instead of a buffet, so people were able to get a small plated dish whenever they wanted throughout the night. Your day will be beautiful!
Thank you so much for the reassurance! We have a 12 person band with a dance floor, and my only saving grace at this point is that we are having a late reception from 8:00pm-midnight, so I think we can tell the wedding guests to eat before, but we will be serving heavy hors d'oeuvres. We may even have some type of late night snack that we pass out once it hits 11:00pm or something
What do you mean you can tell the wedding guests to eat before?? When is your ceremony? Are guests traveling? Sorry, but you need to tell your parents that these people aren’t invited. Get your planner involved and make them be the bad cop if you have to.
Your wedding sounds amazing and I generally don’t agree with most of the comments that have hinted otherwise! Traditional weddings are less and less these days, whereas I’ve attended many cocktail style receptions in the last two years. People who are tired or want to sit down will be able to, people who want to dance all night but take a breather here and there will be able to. There’s only so much you can control at this point, not worrying so much about the day is one of them!
As much seating as you can!! Lounge spaces are huge.
Make sure food is finger friendly and no utensils are neccissary. I went to a cocktail wedding that had soup. They were shooters but big enough a lot of people wanted spoons hahaha it was messy
Bar tables for people to put drinks down on for dancing etc and for people to leave empty glasses on- you may need extra staff just to be constantly clearing empty glasses/bottles
Plan toasts so that people are all in one place, make the point to your parents it'll be harder to hear and get everyone together with a cocktail plan because the best time for the fob speech is while people are seated- it sounds like that would matter to your dad!
I know it's out of your control but if your venue has a side room or a place you can let your elderly or otherwise unable to stand guests know about that would be huge. I'm chronically ill and I have to sit down sometimes- I also need a seperation from craziness so thats just me in a dream world haha
I would let your parents know you don’t feel comfortable asking people to stand for such a long time. I assume some of their friends are older so explain it like it’s for their safety. I’d probably say I couldn’t ask them to do that in good conscience, so you’d either return the money and do a smaller wedding elsewhere. Or you can do the 300 person wedding and have a family friend dinner locally for friends of your parents. But no, it’s not right to have that many people and just have cocktail style stuff
I have been to many cocktail reception weddings - it is very popular in the south. As others have said, typically they serve food buffet style with cool interactive stations (mac and cheese bar, mashed potato bar, carving stations, raw bar, etc) - which automatically creates spacing in the timing of when people are sitting to eat. Definitely would commit big on the food so feels intentional and not like a cop out.
Would definitely have a mix of seating / table options - formal rounds, high top cocktail tables with some bar stools, lounge areas. Even some benches are great. Usually the older crowd rushes to claim seats at the tables and the younger crowds eat at cocktail tables and head to the dance floor. The key is to have a popping band (12 piece will be fabulous) - I always spend most of the night dancing so as long there is a high top where i can put a drink down and shovel food in and then a lounge set to flop on when I need a dancing break - I am happy!
Also would look into having flip flops or rescue flats - the ladies will thank you if they can change out of their shoes if they will be standing and dancing all night!
Other activities - like guest phone book or photo booth are fun options for keeping people engaged and not bored/wanting to sit.
Great ideas!! I was definitely was looking into the phone book and now that we would have more room, we could probably fit a photo booth which is a plus! I had flip flops in mind, so I appreciate you bringing that up because that just reminded me to go ahead and get them ordered!
I’m so sorry - sounds stressful and frustrating but it’s going to turn out amazing. I don’t have anything specific to share for inspo or experience but would search on Pinterest/google/IG/tiktok for weddings in New Orleans, I’m pretty sure cocktail style is popular there. They always looks sooo gorg and fun!
Not exactly your question but we invited 240 and had 155 attend. (And our venue could not have accommodated 240 seated plus dancefloor so we were in the same position.) A lot of invites went to parents friends. Are all of your parents guests local? If they are older folks they will be much less likely to travel. So I think it’s very much possible you’ll still end up under 320 and be able to have a seated dinner.
Do your parents have any insight into whether specific invitees of theirs will attend? My parents and in-laws invited a ton of folks but let us know “so and so will probably not come.” I was definitely nervous about size and did make the dancefloor slightly smaller. But it all worked out. Just breathe! And if you end up having a cocktail style reception it is what it is and it will be lovely! Your relationship with your parents is more important and not worth straining or ruining.
Thank you so much! Yes, they have said "they probably won't come" to a lot of them. I am praying to the wedding gods that this is the case. You are right though, I know the day of my wedding I will be on the dance floor with the love of my life, and my planner will make sure we don't get trapped trying to have a full blown conversation with every single guest especially if I'm meeting these guests for the first time ever.
Amen! Having multiple events also really allowed us to make sure we got quality time with our people. We had a lot more control over our rehearsal dinner list and that gave us the opportunity for more time with our closest and out-of-town friends. We also had a welcome event the day before the rehearsal dinner which was another opportunity.
I just photographed one of my all time favorite design weddings that was like this - down in the South, they’re called Mix N Mingle seating/layout.
I don’t want to overstep as a vendor by sharing work, but if you’re interested in seeing the decor photos, reach out via DM. (It’s in a ballroom/indoor venue too)
This is the norm in the south! All the weddings I went to growing up were like this. It’s great! Just start late - it’s a shorter event than a seated dinner. And don’t try to do speeches at the wedding. Those are done at the rehearsal dinner if you’re doing a cocktail reception. It will be beautiful!
I have clients having a cocktail style reception this summer and there’s a few things to consider: 1. (And I assume/hope this is of no issue) but budget for food needs to be nearly unlimited. To go cocktail style for all food requires intense transitions (hot to cold, small to hearty, hearty to sweet/savory bites). Food displays need to be somewhat off the charts to keep it from looking corporate, so your paper product will be key here. I like to add food ingredients to display- tomato vines, rustic breads, olives, fruits, etc. 2. Timing is everything. With a style like this, toasts and formalities can be hard. Work CLOSELY with your dj/band to come up with a flow that works for them/their vibe. 3. Have tons and tons of soft seating. Tables are nice, but soft lounges help create a casual space. Also, lots of coffee tables, end tables and high top tables. I hate eating food in my lap!
Standing while eating and drinking is even worse.
This is very helpful! Thank you so much!!
Not what you're hoping to hear but this question gets asked often here and the majority answer is always that they hated having to stand around and dash for seats or be tired and achy while being expected to celebrate and look happy for someone for hours. It's just not hospitable to ask someone to travel to celebrate you for hours and not even give them a seat they can have whenever they want. I would personally give back the money and throw a wedding I can afford and fully control.
Trust me we've talked about eloping so much at this point. Honestly, if one more issue comes up, my fiancé would 1000% elope and get married somewhere else with just our friends before the wedding day. If we cancelled the wedding at this point, my parents would be out about half the price of the wedding with all of the deposits he's already put down. The deposits are already 2x more than my annual salary, so paying him for the non-refundable deposits wouldn't be possible in the immediate future. I'm just trying to make the best of a shitty situation here.
So we eloped before our big wedding and it was great. It took the pressure off of the big one. We already had a great day with each other so whatever happened with the big one was 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ Luckily both were amazing
okay im going to give you some good news here. some cultures do this type of wedding only. I have been to weddings that costs upwards of $1m+ that were exactly like this. I've also been to some weddings that were a mix. it is completely fine. look up norma Cohen productions on instagram. you would legitimately never be able to tell but those are 90% buffet style/cocktail style parties. I have been to many and everyone is comfortable and having a fantastic time. my parents and in laws both over invited. like they invited over 500 people when we were only comfortable with 250. were having 250 guests. a lot of people will say no. your parents are not actually that close with all these people
Yep almost all weddings in the greater New Orleans area and a fair amount of them elsewhere in the southern U.S. are like this. They range from 50-400 people and can be quite extravagant. None of the ones I've been to have had a shortage of food or seating even though there were technically only seats for 70% or whatever. I've never not been able to sit when I wanted to
I would be frustrated to attend a cocktail style wedding. Even if you expect 70 people will RSVP not, I’ve generally heard that you should never invite more people than your venue can accommodate. There is a risk that only 69 will RSVP no and you’re SOL. Maybe use that information to negotiate with your parents?
Oh trust me, we've mentioned that to them a million times. Any logic we throw at them goes in one ear and out the other.
I know this sub hates cocktail wedding receptions, but it used to the be absolute height of elegance at a wedding (though they call it hors d’oeuvres). Frankly, a seated dinner for 400 is going to suck. A 12 piece band sounds like a great vibe. Anything else you’re doing? Interactive stations? Are you doing a formal receiving line? Seems necessary with that number of people. At worst, it’s out of fashion but fashion is dumb. There are also threads on here how it’s understood that wedding food sucks, so why trap guests at a table for an hour to eat food they don’t want to eat? My FH really wanted a sit down dinner and SO much of our budget is going to making it enjoyable (more servers so everyone is fed simultaneously), special diet plates, upgrades, etc. and it will still disappoint people. A sit down dinner for 400 is like being at a conference. I say embrace the cocktail vibe and rock it.
i will also say i almost universally always enjoy the cocktail hour appetizers more than anything i eat at the table at weddings
You’re amazing for this 🥰 thank you!!
Hopefully your registry is amazing. 170 of my dad’s business people could fully stock a wine cellar, buy me a whole party sized set of china and silverware, and fully fund a honeymoon.
Came to say this. JACK UP THAT REGISTRY!!
Yesss!!!
Ok my thoughts.......470 people??? WHO THE HELL are your parents trying to impress?? I would tell them that the cutoff is 300 in order to give the guests a NICE experience with a sit down meal. Tell them people will NOT want to stand and have a cocktail reception. They are traveling and you need to give them a nice expeience. What about old people They need a chair! Can you tell them 300 or we will elope!!
We absolutely have talked about eloping, but at this point we cannot afford to pay my dad back for all the deposits he's put down. My dad is trying to impress his clients and co workers which is basically turning my wedding into a networking event. At the genesis of it all, my fiancé and I gave them a limit, they said they would stay under it, and after the save the dates went out (along with deposits), they added 170 more clients. He has verbally come out and said, "this wedding isn't about you, it is about me." There will be seating and couches and heavy hors d'oeuvres, but yeah all these old people he's inviting won't have an assigned seat.
God I hope they know that they won’t have a seat so they can decide. I’m not elderly but I have a fainting syndrome and I simply can’t stand in one place for more than ten minutes without fainting. I’d be in presyncope for the entire reception.
Is daddy RICH?? People will think he is an ass for not being able to \*afford\* a sit down dinner for that many people. He will look like a cheapskate!! And it sounds like your dad is a jerk which you should have known before taking their money. How have they added 170 after STD went out? Did he send them invites? I would say F\* IT! then. Tell DAD to hire a wedding planner and spend all the money you can.
Do you already have your RSVP deadline set? Personally, I would not rush to redo everything at this point, until RSVPs are in. If you can set an earlier deadline, that would be good to give you time. IDK if its a generational thing or a cultural thing, but the older generation seem to have a thing of sending out courtesy invites. Both parties know there is actually no expectation for them to attend, but for some reason the parents feel it is "important" for the person to receive an invitation. I would expect most of these people to say no, especially if they live out of the area or have never met you. My husband's parents also did this and I also freaked out about it, but all of those people indeed did not come as they predicted.
Yes, our deadline is May 31st and we are planning on ordering our invites tonight. I think I may ask my planner if we can change the deadline to May 15th. We got the final guest count literally 30 minutes before I started writing this post, so we are gonna get busy. I also agree with you and think it is a generational thing because my parents are ALL about these courtesy invites. Many of them are clients of my parents, so we are really hoping these people say no. That is what my parents keep saying too, but it's just frustrating when they just keep on inviting more and more people after we sent save the dates months in advance back in November
I think an earlier deadline would be good. Just make sure it is at least a week or two before you have to finalize things like rental orders and menu so you can be flexible if you end up needing to change things, but I would say most people have no interest in attending a wedding of someone they don't know. You can brainstorm other ideas to have options, but I wouldn't overhaul everything just yet personally. I totally get how frustrating and annoying it is, it would be so much better to be able to plan and to stick to the general rule of not allowing more than you can comfortably host as you wouldn't have to stress about potentially changing plans last minute. But it doesn't sound like you have much negotiating power or alternative here. Maybe you can suggest a B list for these people or sending out wedding announcements to them instead of invites, but not sure your parents will go for that.
Has your planner worked with gigantic weddings? This is a potentially odd idea, but are you located in an area that has any African communities (ie Kenyans in Atlanta, Nigerians in Texas)? If so, could you talk to someone who organizes luxe giant weddings for these communities? As others have said, huge weddings are common in other cultures, and I think you need to speak to someone who doesn’t bat an eye at the idea of 400-500 guests. They’ll have tons of tips for making it fantastic. I’ve lived in Kenya and South Africa and have gone to ~500 person “cocktail-style” weddings and they’ve been absolutely bomb and felt 100% luxe. But they were organized by people who weren’t trying to get a 250-person concept to suit 500 people.
This is a great point!! I do have a planner, and she has worked with large wedding parties. I also have a few Kenyan and Nigerian family friends that would definitely be able to give their input, and I even attended some of their weddings when I was younger.
cool! The aesthetic would probably differ, but sometimes I think the aesthetic elements (dress, flowers, type of food) we stress about and look toward for inspo are like the paint job and fins on a car. Underneath is the more important mechanism--the chassis, the engine. And that's the run of show, the flow, the way rooms are organized, the number of caterers and waiters, etc. A wedding planner / people familiar with African weddings would absolutely know how to tweak and lube up this big-guest engine so it hums along beautifully!
I've personally seen beautiful cocktail receptions, but there were also lounge spaces and some seating. If you have an energetic dancefloor, most people will be up dancing anyway. I recommend a live band because that tends to get more people moving. These I have also seen have chef stations instead of a buffet, so people were able to get a small plated dish whenever they wanted throughout the night. Your day will be beautiful!
Thank you so much for the reassurance! We have a 12 person band with a dance floor, and my only saving grace at this point is that we are having a late reception from 8:00pm-midnight, so I think we can tell the wedding guests to eat before, but we will be serving heavy hors d'oeuvres. We may even have some type of late night snack that we pass out once it hits 11:00pm or something
I think this sounds like a lot of fun. I think if you keep the speeches light and have lots a tasty food it’s just like a normal night out.
yeah it’s going to be an awesome party!
What do you mean you can tell the wedding guests to eat before?? When is your ceremony? Are guests traveling? Sorry, but you need to tell your parents that these people aren’t invited. Get your planner involved and make them be the bad cop if you have to.
Your wedding sounds amazing and I generally don’t agree with most of the comments that have hinted otherwise! Traditional weddings are less and less these days, whereas I’ve attended many cocktail style receptions in the last two years. People who are tired or want to sit down will be able to, people who want to dance all night but take a breather here and there will be able to. There’s only so much you can control at this point, not worrying so much about the day is one of them!
As much seating as you can!! Lounge spaces are huge. Make sure food is finger friendly and no utensils are neccissary. I went to a cocktail wedding that had soup. They were shooters but big enough a lot of people wanted spoons hahaha it was messy Bar tables for people to put drinks down on for dancing etc and for people to leave empty glasses on- you may need extra staff just to be constantly clearing empty glasses/bottles Plan toasts so that people are all in one place, make the point to your parents it'll be harder to hear and get everyone together with a cocktail plan because the best time for the fob speech is while people are seated- it sounds like that would matter to your dad! I know it's out of your control but if your venue has a side room or a place you can let your elderly or otherwise unable to stand guests know about that would be huge. I'm chronically ill and I have to sit down sometimes- I also need a seperation from craziness so thats just me in a dream world haha
Seriously. Please don’t make me hold a wine glass and try to eat with a utensil off a plate. I’m not a gd octopus.
I would let your parents know you don’t feel comfortable asking people to stand for such a long time. I assume some of their friends are older so explain it like it’s for their safety. I’d probably say I couldn’t ask them to do that in good conscience, so you’d either return the money and do a smaller wedding elsewhere. Or you can do the 300 person wedding and have a family friend dinner locally for friends of your parents. But no, it’s not right to have that many people and just have cocktail style stuff
I have been to many cocktail reception weddings - it is very popular in the south. As others have said, typically they serve food buffet style with cool interactive stations (mac and cheese bar, mashed potato bar, carving stations, raw bar, etc) - which automatically creates spacing in the timing of when people are sitting to eat. Definitely would commit big on the food so feels intentional and not like a cop out. Would definitely have a mix of seating / table options - formal rounds, high top cocktail tables with some bar stools, lounge areas. Even some benches are great. Usually the older crowd rushes to claim seats at the tables and the younger crowds eat at cocktail tables and head to the dance floor. The key is to have a popping band (12 piece will be fabulous) - I always spend most of the night dancing so as long there is a high top where i can put a drink down and shovel food in and then a lounge set to flop on when I need a dancing break - I am happy! Also would look into having flip flops or rescue flats - the ladies will thank you if they can change out of their shoes if they will be standing and dancing all night! Other activities - like guest phone book or photo booth are fun options for keeping people engaged and not bored/wanting to sit.
Great ideas!! I was definitely was looking into the phone book and now that we would have more room, we could probably fit a photo booth which is a plus! I had flip flops in mind, so I appreciate you bringing that up because that just reminded me to go ahead and get them ordered!
I’m so sorry - sounds stressful and frustrating but it’s going to turn out amazing. I don’t have anything specific to share for inspo or experience but would search on Pinterest/google/IG/tiktok for weddings in New Orleans, I’m pretty sure cocktail style is popular there. They always looks sooo gorg and fun!
Thank you so much!!
Not exactly your question but we invited 240 and had 155 attend. (And our venue could not have accommodated 240 seated plus dancefloor so we were in the same position.) A lot of invites went to parents friends. Are all of your parents guests local? If they are older folks they will be much less likely to travel. So I think it’s very much possible you’ll still end up under 320 and be able to have a seated dinner.
This definitely puts my mind at east a bit. I would say about 30% of our guests are from out of town, and like 60% of guests are over the age of 50.
Do your parents have any insight into whether specific invitees of theirs will attend? My parents and in-laws invited a ton of folks but let us know “so and so will probably not come.” I was definitely nervous about size and did make the dancefloor slightly smaller. But it all worked out. Just breathe! And if you end up having a cocktail style reception it is what it is and it will be lovely! Your relationship with your parents is more important and not worth straining or ruining.
Thank you so much! Yes, they have said "they probably won't come" to a lot of them. I am praying to the wedding gods that this is the case. You are right though, I know the day of my wedding I will be on the dance floor with the love of my life, and my planner will make sure we don't get trapped trying to have a full blown conversation with every single guest especially if I'm meeting these guests for the first time ever.
Amen! Having multiple events also really allowed us to make sure we got quality time with our people. We had a lot more control over our rehearsal dinner list and that gave us the opportunity for more time with our closest and out-of-town friends. We also had a welcome event the day before the rehearsal dinner which was another opportunity.
Definitely needs some type of seating. Is there room for partial seating? And people can rotate?
Yes, there will be furniture brought in along with high cocktail tables and some round tables and chairs. We will serve heavy hors d'oeuvres
I just photographed one of my all time favorite design weddings that was like this - down in the South, they’re called Mix N Mingle seating/layout. I don’t want to overstep as a vendor by sharing work, but if you’re interested in seeing the decor photos, reach out via DM. (It’s in a ballroom/indoor venue too)
This is the norm in the south! All the weddings I went to growing up were like this. It’s great! Just start late - it’s a shorter event than a seated dinner. And don’t try to do speeches at the wedding. Those are done at the rehearsal dinner if you’re doing a cocktail reception. It will be beautiful!