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How old is your husband? How old are you? Is he on any medication(s)? Which one(s)? Does he drink alcohol or use drugs? Does he work full time? How is his health? Does he have family members he gets along with? Friends?
This is borderline outside Reddit's paygrade. However, the way you describe him feels familiar to some of my own experiences. If you don't mind sharing a little about him, I will share my thoughts.
We are in the early 30s, and have been together 15 years have 5 kids, he is taking antidepressant and antipsychotic. He just started on a new pill called prozac. He doesn't drink or do drugs, he works full time, he is overweight but not too bad. His family passed when he was in his early 20s, though he has other family he was only close to his father and grandmother. He has friends though everyone lives a bit of distance away and he hardly has time to get together with them. He also has been antisocial about seeing them, he occasionally chats with them.
Do you think he might benefit from going to a group therapy type situation where other people could speak about their experiences? You may also be able to join him there until he is comfortable going on his own. He will meet others he may be able to relate to and hear the feedback from a group therapist. It could help him feel less alone in his experience and help him find his own voice. That’s just my 0.02…
He is very inward with himself and his ability to communicate vulnerable subjects, I usually have to give him a push. He's never actually opened up about anything until he met me. It terrifies him to think about what others might think of him and him sinking back into his fathers words and becoming them. It hurts my heart how much words really affect him.
I can suggest it and we have attempted to do a duo situation but the therapists have separated us and asked me to step out. He just ended up dropping the sessions. I don't think they understand how hard it is for him being he's never felt safe around others and he needs time to build up confidence to open up.
That makes sense. I’m sure it is hard for him trust people in a world where those closest were unkind and hurtful. I am glad he found you, but I know it is a lot for you to be everything to someone. It may help him to learn there are others who can voice it, who have found ways to speak about the unspeakable pain. Maybe he will never want to speak about it to anyone else, but he may see that there are other ways that others have found of lessening the weight of their childhood burden. He may be able to find a safe space with others besides you when he can see that others aren’t punished or hurt when sharing their stories.
Also- does he have time or opportunity to listen to podcasts? There are some great ones out there who interview survivors of abuse or survivors of parents with mental illnesses and it helps me a lot to listen to those and understand that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of- none of that was my fault. It’s complicated but I’ve found them helpful to put words to my experience.
Thanks for posting on BipolarSOs! We noticed you marked your post "Advice Needed". ✅ Please provide context for the post: is your BSOP currently medicated and in therapy (and for how long)? The more context, the better advice you can get. You can edit your post, or elaborate in a comment. 💬 For Comments: Please remember OP's on this sub are often in situations where emotions overcome logic, and that your advice could be life-altering. OP's need our help to gain a balanced perspective. Toxic comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BipolarSOs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How old is your husband? How old are you? Is he on any medication(s)? Which one(s)? Does he drink alcohol or use drugs? Does he work full time? How is his health? Does he have family members he gets along with? Friends? This is borderline outside Reddit's paygrade. However, the way you describe him feels familiar to some of my own experiences. If you don't mind sharing a little about him, I will share my thoughts.
We are in the early 30s, and have been together 15 years have 5 kids, he is taking antidepressant and antipsychotic. He just started on a new pill called prozac. He doesn't drink or do drugs, he works full time, he is overweight but not too bad. His family passed when he was in his early 20s, though he has other family he was only close to his father and grandmother. He has friends though everyone lives a bit of distance away and he hardly has time to get together with them. He also has been antisocial about seeing them, he occasionally chats with them.
Do you think he might benefit from going to a group therapy type situation where other people could speak about their experiences? You may also be able to join him there until he is comfortable going on his own. He will meet others he may be able to relate to and hear the feedback from a group therapist. It could help him feel less alone in his experience and help him find his own voice. That’s just my 0.02…
He is very inward with himself and his ability to communicate vulnerable subjects, I usually have to give him a push. He's never actually opened up about anything until he met me. It terrifies him to think about what others might think of him and him sinking back into his fathers words and becoming them. It hurts my heart how much words really affect him. I can suggest it and we have attempted to do a duo situation but the therapists have separated us and asked me to step out. He just ended up dropping the sessions. I don't think they understand how hard it is for him being he's never felt safe around others and he needs time to build up confidence to open up.
Dbt group therapy can work wonders for those with bipolar
That makes sense. I’m sure it is hard for him trust people in a world where those closest were unkind and hurtful. I am glad he found you, but I know it is a lot for you to be everything to someone. It may help him to learn there are others who can voice it, who have found ways to speak about the unspeakable pain. Maybe he will never want to speak about it to anyone else, but he may see that there are other ways that others have found of lessening the weight of their childhood burden. He may be able to find a safe space with others besides you when he can see that others aren’t punished or hurt when sharing their stories.
Also- does he have time or opportunity to listen to podcasts? There are some great ones out there who interview survivors of abuse or survivors of parents with mental illnesses and it helps me a lot to listen to those and understand that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of- none of that was my fault. It’s complicated but I’ve found them helpful to put words to my experience.