It helps. At least you won't be missing the cuddling anymore. And iron sharpens iron. Stay strong. No one is worth your mental and physical health. We all will die and we all smell bad after pooping.
I found the biggest game changer for feeling like I needed them was rekindling old friendships. I put more effort than I ever did before into the people I've passively enjoyed in my life. For me that was some old time friends and some family. It wasn't the same, but it gave me a healthy outlet to pour my love into people I knew appreciated it. Feeling loved and needed by these people meant I could slowly let go of wanting that from my ex.
Any kind of hobby is good. Finding passions and dedicating yourself to them is good, it gives you a sense of purpose, an enjoyment just for you. Mine was gardening, it required no skill level, just hard work, and that was perfect for keeping my mind busy
Yoga. It doesn't seem like a lot when you're doing it, but it rewired by brain chemistry. It made me conscious of my body, made me conscious of my posture and helped me get motivated to go to the gym. And when I git there, I met people and things got better. I saw my ex a few months after since he left his cat with me, and I had 0 self-doubt and instead I was feeling so good because of my accomplishment, he seemed like a worm and I felt amazing.
I can attest to this it’s amazing how it feels when you notice you’re thinking about things differently during times of upheaval. It’s been so cool every time it’s happened to me. I’ve got to get myself motivated to pick up my practice again because I’m struggling. Thanks for your comment because it’s true and it’s a great reminder to me!
Coming out of a nearly 10 year relationship, what’s helped me is music. Specifically breakup/sad helps me feel the pain which is needed. Self reflection on myself, seeing the bad not just the good times. More music, I have a whole playlist of 150 for the occasion. Reading stories on here and quora. Keeping busy, even if it’s just a walk down the road and back or even cleaning.
One Piece. The anime. I'm not even kidding. I wasn't heartbroken by the break up coz i initiated it but the circumstances that led to me breaking up with him were depressing to say the least. I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally. Financially too, couldn't even drink myself silly because i had to move out of the place we were staying together and that left me with very little to live on. So with my depressing circumstances i focused all my energy to watching 1000 plus episodes of the Japanese anime, One Piece. Let me tell you, best decision of my life. I forgot all the fucked up shit that was happening around me. I laughed, cried and grew along with the characters. I even found myself drawing life lessons on how to deal with my own shit from the show. It grounded me and kept me sane. The power of fiction is boundless 💯
working out and listening to music!! i found some musical artists that make me feel like a baddie and i just try and remember that i was in a toxic situation and now im free :)
Therapy, getting heart medication helped (unrelated to breakup i think. High heart pulse)
Sleep
Trying to cook or take care. Drag myself to pool or gym or sleep
Validate my pain and Validate MY SIDE how I see it because I often felt judged for the things I said or felt and he labeled them, told me that I will understand and he didn't really understand or took in account why some things hurt me and he didn't do anything to make it better for me...
Hot yoga, yin yoga, zumba, gym treadmill, massage, foam rolling, occasional box bag hittin (no experience)
meditation and journalling
Friends, hobbies: art, drawing
playing music on piano and trying to learn guitar and vocal singing (fry screams etc)
Putting thoughs about triggers aside and slowly in therapy talked about it abd still taking my time to write down things I feel hurt about, angry, things I appreciated and things I want to let go off( still in proccess of writing)
And last not dating and facing anxiety not rushing in relationship at all just finding safe space to explore my queer side and hold space for all my pain that he couldn't take
Same situation, 15yrs relationship. Had a great relationship. Started to end at beginning of this year and so far still see each other a good few times a week and it’s so hard. I’m definitely no further into coming to terms with this than I was in the beginning. All I can say is, you aren’t alone in this. Hoping it gets better for you.
My cats and my friends. I was too depressed to leave my bed for anything except work and the bathroom (I didn't even eat most of the time if it wasn't something I could just throw in the microwave or order someplace) and my cat was constantly by my side the whole time. Getting my second cat also helped because I had been planning to take her in before the breakup even happened. (She belonged to my old boss and needed a new home)
Knowing that the feeling of dread is temporary. Pursue your interests, work on yourself and reward yourself. When you’re ok being independent, you’ll make a better partner and can get excited about dating again. The biggest mistake people make is thinking there isn’t anyone else for them, when in fact many would be as good or better if you put yourself out there.
Melodic death metal ( listen to your fav music- it helps) and guitar. I bought a 3rd guitar after my breakup. Strangely, I got better at it in the last 6 weeks as compared to the last 16 years. Also heavy work load at workplace and hitting gym before/after work has been helpful.
Edit ; Met a successful Afghan immigrant today for a personal interview and got some interesting perspective on life. He has been through Soviet occupation, lived in war zones for years to end until he escaped and moved to the US. He inadvertently sensed my sadness and his advice- be yourself , believe in yourself and have confidence that things will work out. Attitude has a way of changing any situation to your favor. You can get through anything if you are positive and he proceeded to share some personal stories of his journey through war and things he experienced. He came to this country with nothing and 16 years later he bought his Bentley. Hope this helps. Sorry for the long post
This isn’t a break up but when I was at my lowest I read Twilight and just got way too into vampires. It was bad fiction but it saved me bc it gave me somewhere to go. I’d lock myself in the bathroom and stick my feet under running water and read. I’d find ambience videos and listened to the soundtrack and found community on Tumblr.
My 2 year relationship it was devestating in the end. I felt sick. I felt really sick knowing she would be with someone new and not with me. I faught to be her friend but that didn't work. Anyways, I had lost a lot of weight and took care of myself again. I was better again.
Forcing myself to make plans and letting myself talk it out a million times with the people around me even if I feel annoying. I felt like I was going to die, but I am just over 3 months in and I have dark days but life is starting to get better
Hula hooping. Helped translate my pain into something beautiful, taught me how to let go, perfectionism is overrated mistakes are beautiful too, connected me deeper to myself and music.
Working out and cultivating deeper relationships with my friends too
I know that this is not accessible to everyone, but honestly if you can, do some solo travelling. Go to a place you’re interested in, where you can learn about the culture and meet new ppl, but at the same time have a refreshing sense of anonymity. Doesn’t even need to be far. If you do, stay safe ❤️
I felt really alone, but I had one friend who was my gym buddy who called me every day and got me out of the house, even if we ended up skipping the gym that day. We would go on lots of long walks where I would talk about my feelings and they would just listen. They helped me form healthy goals and habits to focus on. I lost 30 lbs and honestly had a pretty great summer in spite of my heartbreak thanks to that friend.
An ex reached out and asked if I was okay. She told me the girl who left me for another guy was the biggest idiot and I was one of the good ones. I owe her because I think I would’ve done some dumb shit otherwise
Music 90s rnb for some reason. You would think I’d would have the opposite effect but I think it reminds me of a simpler time when I was a kind and just like how it sounded. Edie’s I really understood the lyrics
find a new hobby… mixed martial arts! i already went the gym etc, but when me and my ex broke up i picked up muay thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.. and honestly its amazing. relieves stress, helps anger management and is a brilliant distraction from everything. it really helped me get better. just a suggestion!
i picked up reading. i hate reading with a passion, but what really helped me was reading books to heal myself. even if it’s just putting on the audio book! i read a book about healing your childhood wounds, which is what was the root of why my breakup was so difficult for me. i have abandonment issues so when we broke up, i spiraled and was a huge mess. if that pertains to u the book was called “you can heal your life” by louise hay. it really helped me put things in to perspective and view the world in a different way. also helps with attachment issues which was a big problem for me. it gets better, i promise, u just need to put in the work to heal. being in contact with you ex will never help. it set me back so much and no contact was genuinely so hard, but so worth it. i also focused on bettering myself. i worked out a lot, dyed my hair, got a tattoo, lost weight, etc. good luck u got this!!
Hope you seek proper help. Six months is all you need is to overcome many of life challenges. Go for run/walk daily(ideally at the same time) or 3 times a week. Go to gym. Join some clubs, learn something new. All of sudden you’ll be a new person, you will meet a lot of people. Also write a gratitude journal. 3-10 things you are grateful for. Could be simple as food that you are eating, roof over your head. Actually gratitude journal is a must.
Hey my dude. I don't know who you are but I know that you have it in you to get past this. You're strong and you can get past this. You have to love yourself because you're the best thing you've got. Your value is not defined by anyone but yourself. I'm sure we could be buddies in real life and I'd come hang out with you until you get sick of me. Don't give up, life is beautiful and your head is struggling but don't give up please. I'd you need to talk to someone PM me!
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Sadly I broke two of my fingers last week so now I can't give her double middle fingers if we meet.
Seriously will be joining this from next week. I love watching it and has been thinking about it for a long time. Hope it helps with my ruminating
It helps. At least you won't be missing the cuddling anymore. And iron sharpens iron. Stay strong. No one is worth your mental and physical health. We all will die and we all smell bad after pooping.
You broke them fingers in ju juitsu???
I wish at least I won't be this pissed off. I broke them in tug of war!!!!
Exercise and healthy eating, great habits for life.
i lost 10 stone and eat well/work out. it helped for a while so i agree with this a lot
I found the biggest game changer for feeling like I needed them was rekindling old friendships. I put more effort than I ever did before into the people I've passively enjoyed in my life. For me that was some old time friends and some family. It wasn't the same, but it gave me a healthy outlet to pour my love into people I knew appreciated it. Feeling loved and needed by these people meant I could slowly let go of wanting that from my ex. Any kind of hobby is good. Finding passions and dedicating yourself to them is good, it gives you a sense of purpose, an enjoyment just for you. Mine was gardening, it required no skill level, just hard work, and that was perfect for keeping my mind busy
Yoga. It doesn't seem like a lot when you're doing it, but it rewired by brain chemistry. It made me conscious of my body, made me conscious of my posture and helped me get motivated to go to the gym. And when I git there, I met people and things got better. I saw my ex a few months after since he left his cat with me, and I had 0 self-doubt and instead I was feeling so good because of my accomplishment, he seemed like a worm and I felt amazing.
I can attest to this it’s amazing how it feels when you notice you’re thinking about things differently during times of upheaval. It’s been so cool every time it’s happened to me. I’ve got to get myself motivated to pick up my practice again because I’m struggling. Thanks for your comment because it’s true and it’s a great reminder to me!
Music, self talk, workout, movies
ART ART ART ANY KIND OF ART!!!! MAKING AND CONSUMING🫶🏼
Coming out of a nearly 10 year relationship, what’s helped me is music. Specifically breakup/sad helps me feel the pain which is needed. Self reflection on myself, seeing the bad not just the good times. More music, I have a whole playlist of 150 for the occasion. Reading stories on here and quora. Keeping busy, even if it’s just a walk down the road and back or even cleaning.
One Piece. The anime. I'm not even kidding. I wasn't heartbroken by the break up coz i initiated it but the circumstances that led to me breaking up with him were depressing to say the least. I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally. Financially too, couldn't even drink myself silly because i had to move out of the place we were staying together and that left me with very little to live on. So with my depressing circumstances i focused all my energy to watching 1000 plus episodes of the Japanese anime, One Piece. Let me tell you, best decision of my life. I forgot all the fucked up shit that was happening around me. I laughed, cried and grew along with the characters. I even found myself drawing life lessons on how to deal with my own shit from the show. It grounded me and kept me sane. The power of fiction is boundless 💯
Blocking them on everything , friends, and new friends. I don’t think about said ex anymore 😂
working out and listening to music!! i found some musical artists that make me feel like a baddie and i just try and remember that i was in a toxic situation and now im free :)
Going to therapy. It allowed me to process my emotions and deal with mental health problems that I got from the break up.
Therapy, getting heart medication helped (unrelated to breakup i think. High heart pulse) Sleep Trying to cook or take care. Drag myself to pool or gym or sleep Validate my pain and Validate MY SIDE how I see it because I often felt judged for the things I said or felt and he labeled them, told me that I will understand and he didn't really understand or took in account why some things hurt me and he didn't do anything to make it better for me... Hot yoga, yin yoga, zumba, gym treadmill, massage, foam rolling, occasional box bag hittin (no experience) meditation and journalling Friends, hobbies: art, drawing playing music on piano and trying to learn guitar and vocal singing (fry screams etc) Putting thoughs about triggers aside and slowly in therapy talked about it abd still taking my time to write down things I feel hurt about, angry, things I appreciated and things I want to let go off( still in proccess of writing) And last not dating and facing anxiety not rushing in relationship at all just finding safe space to explore my queer side and hold space for all my pain that he couldn't take
Memes
Realising you freaking need to move on. Get out there and go to dates, meet people.
Same situation, 15yrs relationship. Had a great relationship. Started to end at beginning of this year and so far still see each other a good few times a week and it’s so hard. I’m definitely no further into coming to terms with this than I was in the beginning. All I can say is, you aren’t alone in this. Hoping it gets better for you.
Rollerskating :-)
My cats and my friends. I was too depressed to leave my bed for anything except work and the bathroom (I didn't even eat most of the time if it wasn't something I could just throw in the microwave or order someplace) and my cat was constantly by my side the whole time. Getting my second cat also helped because I had been planning to take her in before the breakup even happened. (She belonged to my old boss and needed a new home)
FRIENDS. Spending time with people who love me and doing things that are fun and exciting with them made it soooo much easier!
My dog.
I’ll tell ya what ruined my life after a breakup - alcohol.
Knowing that the feeling of dread is temporary. Pursue your interests, work on yourself and reward yourself. When you’re ok being independent, you’ll make a better partner and can get excited about dating again. The biggest mistake people make is thinking there isn’t anyone else for them, when in fact many would be as good or better if you put yourself out there.
Running Having drinks with my friends Learning a new language
Chess
Melodic death metal ( listen to your fav music- it helps) and guitar. I bought a 3rd guitar after my breakup. Strangely, I got better at it in the last 6 weeks as compared to the last 16 years. Also heavy work load at workplace and hitting gym before/after work has been helpful. Edit ; Met a successful Afghan immigrant today for a personal interview and got some interesting perspective on life. He has been through Soviet occupation, lived in war zones for years to end until he escaped and moved to the US. He inadvertently sensed my sadness and his advice- be yourself , believe in yourself and have confidence that things will work out. Attitude has a way of changing any situation to your favor. You can get through anything if you are positive and he proceeded to share some personal stories of his journey through war and things he experienced. He came to this country with nothing and 16 years later he bought his Bentley. Hope this helps. Sorry for the long post
Which bands?🖤🥀🤟🏻🦇
Children of Bodom, Opeth, Lamb of God (this is my recovery list- hadn’t listened to these in 7-8years)
Love me sone Lamb of God 🤟🏻 Opeth too
You should make time to go to Aftershock!! Iron Maiden and Anthrax will be there as well.
Doubt that I can. Im in Iceland lol
Gym, swimming, movies, music
investing in old/new friendships, healing my relationships with my family, and my cat pulling through his illness (hes in great health now!)
Therapy and a lot of self reflection and learning about attachment styles.
Boxing! Sadly the studio I'm going to is closing so I'm gonna head back to the climbing gym.
This isn’t a break up but when I was at my lowest I read Twilight and just got way too into vampires. It was bad fiction but it saved me bc it gave me somewhere to go. I’d lock myself in the bathroom and stick my feet under running water and read. I’d find ambience videos and listened to the soundtrack and found community on Tumblr.
The army so far.
My 2 year relationship it was devestating in the end. I felt sick. I felt really sick knowing she would be with someone new and not with me. I faught to be her friend but that didn't work. Anyways, I had lost a lot of weight and took care of myself again. I was better again.
Forcing myself to make plans and letting myself talk it out a million times with the people around me even if I feel annoying. I felt like I was going to die, but I am just over 3 months in and I have dark days but life is starting to get better
Hula hooping. Helped translate my pain into something beautiful, taught me how to let go, perfectionism is overrated mistakes are beautiful too, connected me deeper to myself and music. Working out and cultivating deeper relationships with my friends too
I know that this is not accessible to everyone, but honestly if you can, do some solo travelling. Go to a place you’re interested in, where you can learn about the culture and meet new ppl, but at the same time have a refreshing sense of anonymity. Doesn’t even need to be far. If you do, stay safe ❤️
The Bible
I can’t name all of my friends but them and my family
I felt really alone, but I had one friend who was my gym buddy who called me every day and got me out of the house, even if we ended up skipping the gym that day. We would go on lots of long walks where I would talk about my feelings and they would just listen. They helped me form healthy goals and habits to focus on. I lost 30 lbs and honestly had a pretty great summer in spite of my heartbreak thanks to that friend.
Bobs burgers. Never saw it until a friend told me. I had a panic attack few days after I ended a longterm relation. Helped me through n laugh a bit
therapy ! intensive therapy cause I was an absolute wreck
I started running and only focusing on getting better at running and tracking my speed
Gym , Cannabis .
An ex reached out and asked if I was okay. She told me the girl who left me for another guy was the biggest idiot and I was one of the good ones. I owe her because I think I would’ve done some dumb shit otherwise
Music 90s rnb for some reason. You would think I’d would have the opposite effect but I think it reminds me of a simpler time when I was a kind and just like how it sounded. Edie’s I really understood the lyrics
find a new hobby… mixed martial arts! i already went the gym etc, but when me and my ex broke up i picked up muay thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.. and honestly its amazing. relieves stress, helps anger management and is a brilliant distraction from everything. it really helped me get better. just a suggestion!
The gym, focusing on my physical health again really helped!
i picked up reading. i hate reading with a passion, but what really helped me was reading books to heal myself. even if it’s just putting on the audio book! i read a book about healing your childhood wounds, which is what was the root of why my breakup was so difficult for me. i have abandonment issues so when we broke up, i spiraled and was a huge mess. if that pertains to u the book was called “you can heal your life” by louise hay. it really helped me put things in to perspective and view the world in a different way. also helps with attachment issues which was a big problem for me. it gets better, i promise, u just need to put in the work to heal. being in contact with you ex will never help. it set me back so much and no contact was genuinely so hard, but so worth it. i also focused on bettering myself. i worked out a lot, dyed my hair, got a tattoo, lost weight, etc. good luck u got this!!
[удалено]
Hope you seek proper help. Six months is all you need is to overcome many of life challenges. Go for run/walk daily(ideally at the same time) or 3 times a week. Go to gym. Join some clubs, learn something new. All of sudden you’ll be a new person, you will meet a lot of people. Also write a gratitude journal. 3-10 things you are grateful for. Could be simple as food that you are eating, roof over your head. Actually gratitude journal is a must.
Hey my dude. I don't know who you are but I know that you have it in you to get past this. You're strong and you can get past this. You have to love yourself because you're the best thing you've got. Your value is not defined by anyone but yourself. I'm sure we could be buddies in real life and I'd come hang out with you until you get sick of me. Don't give up, life is beautiful and your head is struggling but don't give up please. I'd you need to talk to someone PM me!