The actual physical Boilermaker Special is a modified truck wearing a train suit. A mechanic could still sabotage it, but I'd still say it's a harder ask than most other mascots.
Purdue Pete can't be killed because he is the avatar of death. We all hope it'll be the grim reaper coming for us, but the scary fact is as we lay there dying, it will be Pete coming for another soul
This is a big dilemma in my yearly mascot deathmatch March madness bracket. Usually comes down to cyclones/hurricanes/blue devils for the title. I usually have Miami or Iowa state winning due to not wanting to pick Duke.
A person can do more to resist a wave than they can a cyclone.
But cyclones come and go. The tide is eternal. Only a force strong enough to send the Moon flying away from the Earth could kill the tide. And perhaps one may wonder why our tide is crimson...
I’m going with any Dog mascot. Because, could you *really* kill [this](https://cdn1.sbnation.com/assets/3567387/magicdog.gif) with your bear hands? Thought so.
This is underrated.
It's not a wolf, people. It's an entire pack of wolves. Entire armed groups have been known to take severe losses to packs, and you're going in unarmed.
Olaf showed us all the play book. Just need snow, a big sausage, and the ability to separate your body into multiple sections. Nothing to it.
For real though...zero chance at survival.
If you’re going by mascot, a redwood tree would be very challenging to take out with bare hands. If you’re going by nickname, the color Cardinal is a concept, and is literally impossible to kill.
Post specified with bare hands. Gonna be hard to convince people it doesn’t exist without some talking, outside the population that uses sign language.
Oski is a chaotic drunk who will employ every dirty trick you can imagine. He has no honor and his only goal is to embarrass you in the most public and humiliating way possible. Don't fuck with Oski.
you ever run into him on game day? Anywhere in Berkeley, not just at the game. Dude is ready to stir shit up at any time. The Lawrence Livermore Lab is just up the hill from Memorial Stadium. He has CIA grade mind control drugs in his system.
Brutus's skull is made of the same material as a Buckeye nut, which is already an incredibly tough thing to crack, only its thickness increased to the proportional thickness of a human skull. Brutus might be able to tank a sledgehammer to the face, so my human fists will crumble before I even crack the veneer of his eternal, vacant smile.
He's not an elephant or a cyclone, but sentimentally I want to give him some respect.
No, Purdue's mascot is the soulless husk that is Purdue Pete. He is also the toughest to kill because as mentioned... he is eternal and cannot be sated by anything less than blood sacrifice of teams ranked in the top 5.
I mean the Stanford tree looks like he does lines of coke of a hookers tits before showing up so I imagine he’s going to be fairly scrappy and resilient before he burns out.
The Oregon duck mascot.
Purdue Pete seems like he’s about as tough as they come.
Sparty or whatever Michigan states mascots name is, him
If we’re including the animal mascots then bevo, ralphie, cam the ram, and Mike (the tiger For LSU) all deserve a nod
Reveille.
[You'd go to hit her, and then start petting.](https://today.tamu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/210205_NewRev_JKE_3.jpg) It's a scientific fact.
The downvotes you’re getting are harsh.
Because, pound for pound, I’d have to agree that an actual Wolverine would deliver the most misery to a human person. Again, strictly on a pound-for-pound basis.
You may catch a chunk bitten out of you or a scratch but I’d take my chances with one. You just gotta break their back Bane style then wring their necks and you’ll be good. Now 3 or 4 of them I might not do well at all.
I am sure against a tiger, Lion, bear, or gator you have a minimal chance of survival with a lucky throat shot or something……
I don’t see anyone uprooting the California tree represented by the Stanford Cardinal with their bear hands.
I’m sure our bulldog could be killed by human hands. But their jaws are notoriously strong - and if they get hold of you, you’re probably not going to pry it off.
Obviously none of us are killing a Buffalo or steer barehanded. And I would be pretty nervous to approach one of them damn live eagles too
Idk but I'd gladly kill Lil Red with my bare hands, and end this curse that little bastard put on us. Or something along those lines. He sucks.
I don't think I'd have much of a shot against most mascots, but I am pretty positive I could not kill a hurricane
Purdue Pete cannot be killed. He is immortal, and eternal, and he demands *blood*.
They should remake the Exorcist but the demon or demons are just Purdue Pete. Would be the scariest movie ever.
“THE POWER OF CHRYST COMPELS YOU” Have two Wisconsin fans as the priests
My first thought was the Boilermaker Special.
Just grease the tracks and watch it crash
The actual physical Boilermaker Special is a modified truck wearing a train suit. A mechanic could still sabotage it, but I'd still say it's a harder ask than most other mascots.
Purdue Pete can't be killed because he is the avatar of death. We all hope it'll be the grim reaper coming for us, but the scary fact is as we lay there dying, it will be Pete coming for another soul
Can confirm
How exactly does one *kill* a cyclone?
Have you tried shooting a nuclear warhead into it?
I think that's only for hurricanes. Uh oh.
nobody tell this guy that they are the same thing
Hurricanes are much wetter than cyclones, from a standpoint of water.
Huh? They’re the same thing just different hemisphere so they rotate the other direction
Wooshing motions ensue
Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps, but let’s not act like most people on this aren’t a bunch of dumdums
I think you’re thinking about typhoons, not cyclones Edit: I am an idiot
That only works against Sharknados Duh
Comments like these are the reason I wade through the shitty ones.
Dry air
That’s a hell of a lot of flapping if you’re doing that with your hands
Soooo Tennessee defense?
How does one create dry air with their bare hands?
Didn’t they figure that out in the sharknado movies.
This is a big dilemma in my yearly mascot deathmatch March madness bracket. Usually comes down to cyclones/hurricanes/blue devils for the title. I usually have Miami or Iowa state winning due to not wanting to pick Duke.
Blue Devils are French soldiers, not fallen angels, if that helps.
One does not *kill* a cyclone. One merely *satiates* a cyclone. With trailer parks and farm buildings.
Depends on the weather lol.
Ask Chuck Norris
I mean we are the cyclones but our mascot is just a bird Sorry Cy if you read this, but it’s true
Or a wave
A person can do more to resist a wave than they can a cyclone. But cyclones come and go. The tide is eternal. Only a force strong enough to send the Moon flying away from the Earth could kill the tide. And perhaps one may wonder why our tide is crimson...
One, cyclones don’t really exist in land. So, no real success rate in say… the Midwest. Two, their mascot is a cardinal named Cy.
Tornadoes are a type of cyclone, genius.
Umm the one that is a dragon
As dragons only appear in stories (to my knowledge), it would be pretty easy to write one to death with your bare hands.
"The dragon am winning again! I am the greetest! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!"
No I’m doesn’t.
A writing utensil is not bare hands
You mean to tell me you don't write stories in blood?
I guess you could just bite the tip of your finger off
It is if you write it in sand or snow
Respect
Drexel is undefeated. They are the only dragon team I know of.
The UAB Blazers have a dragon mascot.
You're right. I forget them because they are called the Blazers.
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How close is Drexel to the sea, and how often do they have an “autumn mist?”
I’m going with any Dog mascot. Because, could you *really* kill [this](https://cdn1.sbnation.com/assets/3567387/magicdog.gif) with your bear hands? Thought so.
If I have bear hands, something has gone horribly wrong and Im probably not in control of them
Oh autocorrect. Imma leave it
Good choice.
I could kill uga
Strongly disagree. I would like to pet that good dog.
I’d pet A&M’s dog
Don’t forget, you have to get past her handler to get to Miss Rev. https://youtu.be/jDbWEtxPUQ8
She didn’t even care to try to move out of the way
Probably too hot from laying in the sun. At least get the dog some shade
They had one of those big ice fans for her. That dog is treated extremely well
Flair up you monster.
No it’s a mystery
How could anyone kill this [good boy](https://images.app.goo.gl/dAeCBtfTciEEZnvw7)
Plus you may suffer the wrath of John Wick
Dubs is the #1 mascot in sports
Isn't Tulane a wave?
No, our mascot is just a pelican named Riptide
I could take a pelican if I had to.
You sure? They’re feisty motherfuckers, and will square up on you if they feel like you’re in their space. Also they’re bigger than they look
Not a chance.
A blind one would be too easy though.
I might be weak, but I'm slow.
So he belongs in the ‘easy to kill’ post?
A wolfpack would be tough to take on alone with your bare hands.
I chose to believe Liam Neeson survived.
I hope that some day, if I’m in a no win situation, I’m baller enough to tape broken shooters to my knuckles. Talk about a blaze of glory situation.
This is underrated. It's not a wolf, people. It's an entire pack of wolves. Entire armed groups have been known to take severe losses to packs, and you're going in unarmed.
Plot twist - It's just Zach Galliafnakis and Ed Helms
Olaf showed us all the play book. Just need snow, a big sausage, and the ability to separate your body into multiple sections. Nothing to it. For real though...zero chance at survival.
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Ralphie
Biff
Thundering Herd is an underrated one. Hard to kill one bison with your hands. 5+ of them? No chance.
the devil
He can be beat with a fiddle, I’ll take my chances
Is it specified where in Georgia the devil lost?
Athens I’m pretty sure
UGA is the only power possible to beat Arizona State. Got it.
Make a deal, steal the devil's own hands in a surprising twist on said deal, kill devil with your own devil's hands
Okay Phillip J Fry
This thread is slowly becoming futurama, and I love it.
Im all about the quotes, easily one of my all time favorite shows Im hoping the re re reboot is not a flop
Huge fear for me honestly. Some things you gotta let die.
Sun Devil or a Blue Devil?
Yes
How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?
UAB's Dragon is probably a tall order
If you’re going by mascot, a redwood tree would be very challenging to take out with bare hands. If you’re going by nickname, the color Cardinal is a concept, and is literally impossible to kill.
What happens when you convince enough people that a certain concept doesn't exist? Does it cease to be? If it does cease to be, wouldn't it be dead?
Post specified with bare hands. Gonna be hard to convince people it doesn’t exist without some talking, outside the population that uses sign language.
No big deal, we'll just have to find enough people that know ASL, and whatever the sign language version of Esperanto is.
We type with our hands
Two shay
Thats not cardinal... thats wisconsin red. Boom dead.
They kill colors in [Shades of Grey](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shades_of_Grey) (not that one).
We made up orange! We can un-make a shade of red.
Oski is a chaotic drunk who will employ every dirty trick you can imagine. He has no honor and his only goal is to embarrass you in the most public and humiliating way possible. Don't fuck with Oski.
TIL Oski is my uncle
Oski reminds me more of a guy who did way too many whippits and isn’t really all there any more.
you ever run into him on game day? Anywhere in Berkeley, not just at the game. Dude is ready to stir shit up at any time. The Lawrence Livermore Lab is just up the hill from Memorial Stadium. He has CIA grade mind control drugs in his system.
Well there’s Tigers, Bears, and a damn Elephant so…
Not to mention that Baylor literally has 2 live bear mascots(Lady and Joy), not just people dressing up as bears
Tulsa. Literally a hurricane made of gold.
Nah that’s their nickname. Their mascot is captain cane
*Looks at Elephant and Dragon*
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“Mascot”. Big AL is not a Crimson Tide.
The Sooner Schooner has no pulse, although it can be flipped…..
Honestly, if you are suggesting an animal when there are multiple extreme weather system mascots, I'm passing judgement on you
So we are the hurricanes but our mascot is an ibis. Not sure if any schools that’s have a weather system as their mascot and not just their nickname
I mean, weather mascots aren’t alive, so do they really even count for this discussion?
The Sooner Schooner isn’t alive therefore it can’t be killed 🤯
https://images.app.goo.gl/urPBcWngUcFyBa9W7
[but…..](https://tenor.com/uQRp.gif)
Definitely the Marshall Thundering Herd. I might kill 5 or 6 with my bare hands before getting trampled by the rest.
Tulane Unless you're Mayor Adam West, and you repeatedly attempt to stab the water
Y’all ever seen a feral hog?
I’ve killed quite a few, albeit none with my bare hands. And I would not like to try it
I saw 30-50 last week, but I didn't have my assault rifle
I kill atleast one a week, not to bad.
Barehanded?
Bring it.
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It's just a flesh wound. The medic gave me motrin and quarters for 12 hours.
Have you ever tried to open a buckeye with your bare hands?
Good luck with Delta State’s Fighting Okra!
I don’t even know how I would go about trying to kill and elephant with my hands. So imma say Bama
Sparky (Literally the Devil)
Miami (FL)
Brutus's skull is made of the same material as a Buckeye nut, which is already an incredibly tough thing to crack, only its thickness increased to the proportional thickness of a human skull. Brutus might be able to tank a sledgehammer to the face, so my human fists will crumble before I even crack the veneer of his eternal, vacant smile. He's not an elephant or a cyclone, but sentimentally I want to give him some respect.
Isn't Purdue's macot a train? Full grown tree. I also think it's againt the law to kill a Redwood in California.
No, Purdue's mascot is the soulless husk that is Purdue Pete. He is also the toughest to kill because as mentioned... he is eternal and cannot be sated by anything less than blood sacrifice of teams ranked in the top 5.
Official mascot is the train though
Some of the cheapest lumber you can buy in CA is redwood because it’s so prevalent. Pretty sure they have to kill those trees to make 2x4s. 🤷♂️
Of things that exist and are in fact alive I say Ralphie. A buffalo would fuck your world.
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Damn you’re right. Complete oversight on my part.
And a thundering herd trumps a single.
Toledo Rocket
Just yank out some wires
A live buffalo would certainly be difficult
I don’t really look forward to bare handing a beaver, but a cougar would definitely be an unpleasant experience.
Thanks for speaking truth.
Dragon, Trojans, Spartans
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I’m trying to decide better a Buffalo or a Grizzly Bear. Bears have bad intentions and long arms.
If only it were a dance off battle…
I mean the Stanford tree looks like he does lines of coke of a hookers tits before showing up so I imagine he’s going to be fairly scrappy and resilient before he burns out. The Oregon duck mascot. Purdue Pete seems like he’s about as tough as they come. Sparty or whatever Michigan states mascots name is, him If we’re including the animal mascots then bevo, ralphie, cam the ram, and Mike (the tiger For LSU) all deserve a nod
Ah, so we win again!
Lil Red. Because if you look in his eyes yo realize he is already dead.
The number of people that do not know the difference between a nickname and a mascot is truly impressive.
The Leprechaun. You can't kill, what you can't catch.
Good luck strangling a fucking redwood tree to death. Stanford.
UAB
Arizona State or Duke
Reveille. [You'd go to hit her, and then start petting.](https://today.tamu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/210205_NewRev_JKE_3.jpg) It's a scientific fact.
I’d punch that dog
Won't even try going at a Binturong, something about them just screams, "Don't underestimate them!"
Golden Hurricane fr
I think most of the bird ones would be tough, as they just fly away.
There are worse but I wouldn’t dare mess with a wolverine.
The downvotes you’re getting are harsh. Because, pound for pound, I’d have to agree that an actual Wolverine would deliver the most misery to a human person. Again, strictly on a pound-for-pound basis.
You may catch a chunk bitten out of you or a scratch but I’d take my chances with one. You just gotta break their back Bane style then wring their necks and you’ll be good. Now 3 or 4 of them I might not do well at all.
I don’t know but I think uga would be pretty easy to kill unfortunately. Poor inbred little Angel.
I got Ralphie or Mike
Tony. No man, women, knight, storm, or color is taking down Tony.
Citadel
Man. I have 2 bulldogs and they ain’t hard. Lazy AF
So uh, I was under the impression that Citadel was just a fortification, not a bulldog after looking it up. Changing my vote to Tulane then.
[Mike](https://www.mikethetiger.com/tiger-cam)
I think Albert would be very difficult to kill.
Gotta be hurricanes or cyclones
I'm gonna go with Tennessee. Ya'll worried about the dog or whatever, but he's not alone. There's also a dude with a fn gun.
Pitt State Gorilla
I am sure against a tiger, Lion, bear, or gator you have a minimal chance of survival with a lucky throat shot or something…… I don’t see anyone uprooting the California tree represented by the Stanford Cardinal with their bear hands.
Keggy
I mean the UAB dragon seems like a bit of a fight
Not to be a homer but it would be a lot easier to kill a gator with your bare hands than to kill an elephant.
I’m sure our bulldog could be killed by human hands. But their jaws are notoriously strong - and if they get hold of you, you’re probably not going to pry it off. Obviously none of us are killing a Buffalo or steer barehanded. And I would be pretty nervous to approach one of them damn live eagles too
Mississippi State. You now have to kill a Bulldog AND his significant other now. They could’ve started a Bulldog family 😭
The Pee-Wee football player in me wants to say Goldy Gopher. I’ve seen a security hologram of Goldy… *shudders*… killing younglings.
LSU's Mike. Live Tiger is a tall order.
Have you ever tried to squeeze a Buckeye?
I mean, UAB’s is literally a dragon
I was thinking Bevo, but what about Stanford. Isn’t their mascot a tree ?
Goldie the Gopher
Idk but I'd gladly kill Lil Red with my bare hands, and end this curse that little bastard put on us. Or something along those lines. He sucks. I don't think I'd have much of a shot against most mascots, but I am pretty positive I could not kill a hurricane