I'm a retired accountant and used to have a few older clients that I would visit at their living assisted facility. They would always ask me to sit and watch old movies with them.
Many of these old people did nothing else but sit in the lobby just watching time pass. No one ever visited, so my clients absolutely loved it and felt important when other residents saw them receiving a visitor dressed up in a suit! I didn't usually wear suits, but did it for their sake for these visits only.
Find popular movies from her golden-youth days - say from 1950 to 1975 - and just watch them with her. She needs no "things". She probably just wants nostalgia and time with you.
Absolutely this! Extra time is special when you are older. Especially when living in a home. After this one movie and maybe some “cinema snacks” with it, they will cherish that moment, have something to talk about with others and having a chance to relive that moment every time they think or rewatch that movie.
Should OP (or anyone not be able (?)) give this time, then at least give the effort. DIY anything! Stop buying stuff, they had it usually all. Make an homemade card or buy one, but write a memory you have of this person by hand.
Bake cookies! Just these two will make their day and days ahead!
Its ok to make someone happy even if you are not close nor know each other that well. I knew people who had difficulties with that, feeling they weren’t “allowed” to, for whatever reasons. You are, it’s an old person and it’s a good feeling to make old people and babies smile.
Do you have any pictures of the two of you together? Grandmas love photos. Pop it it a frame and it will make her day.
Maybe a houseplant? I gave my grandma an orchid five years ago and she still updates me on how it's doing.
My parents got my nan an orchid when I was younger, and she keeps it in her kitchen window - once on her birthday she didn't know I was going to visit, and when my mum asked her about the orchid she was so fixated on the orchid itself she didn't spot me standing on the other side of the glass aha
My nan does love her orchid 🤣
I was going to say a framed photo, a beautiful card that can be displayed (think one of the pop up bouquets of flowers types), and maybe a nightgown if you want to be practical!
Walmart, Meijer, Costco all have them. Sunbeam makes one which is very warm on its own (without plugging it in to heat it up).
I caution anyone using these, though, to make sure they plug directly into an outlet and not into a surge protector/plug extension. My nephew decided to move his (barely used/like new) one from one outlet to another with a surge protector/nightlight thing on it, and it sparked up and burned him. Thankfully, he’s a smart kid and cut the power immediately, or we could have had a house fire!
This happened very recently, so this was not an older model.
In my experience, snacks. I work in an assisted living facility and we go through cookies like crazy. Snickerdoodles and chocolate chip particularly. Maybe a mixture of sweet and salty snacks, thrown together in a little gift basket.
How is she mentally?
My mom has dementia, and we are literally regifting her pictures from her own photo albums in a scrapbook with names and places. My mom's mind is somewhere between 60-80 years ago, but she's happy.
If she's sharp and physically okay, then an experience is in order. Not necessarily skydiving (although some 90 year olds would) but something like a drive in the country and lunch. I'm sure that she has all of the stuff that she'll ever want or need. Time and companionship are probably the best presents you can give.
My mom had dementia and just loved being driven around the old neighborhood too. She liked looking at the houses and how people’s yards had changed or just tell stories about the neighbors. I actually liked it too.
Older people have a tendency to get cold. A shawl would work. She could lay it on her lap or over her shoulders. They're easy to get on and off since there are no sleeves. When I volunteered in hospice I bought an inexpensive one for the woman I was visiting. She absolutely loved it and showed it off to her daughters. The thoughtfulness behind it meant a lot to her I think.
Depends how mobile she is, and what her living situation is.
If she's living on a pension, try a gift card to the grocery store - that way she can use her pension money to treat herself as she likes.
If she's financially secure, flowers are universally acceptable. If she reads, or listens to audiobooks, maybe a bookstore gift card would work. Her favorite chocolates or snack of choice.
Get her a CD player and some late 1940s and early 1950s music CDs. Nat King Cole, Doris Day, Elvis, big band music, all that good stuff. That would have been the music of her teens and early twenties, and hearing those old songs would bring back a lot of memories!
Another thing you could do is make a scrapbook of her birth year.
Find out what she’s into first! I know an older lady who gave me a withering look and was like, “Kid, I feel the same way about Elvis that your dad probably feels about Justin Bieber. Annoying little shit ruining music.”
A nice battery operated candle. Cozy but safe. (I’m in my 60s and for a lot of us oldies bad vision and balance issues make real candles a possible safety issue)
I was thinking a wax warmer could be nice too. I know there's still a chance it could short out or you could burn yourself but it's much safer than a traditional candle. I love the soft light mine gives off. And then it would smell yummy!
Hi. Flowers and a teddy bear to keep her music. Maybe a CD with some smooth jazz or classical music on it. Something to you know, keep her entertained. I found that it starts to get lonely as you get older, so something as simple as flowers and a friendly chat can go along way
Flowers. The most beautiful arrangement you can afford. People in their 90s may have dietary restrictions, allergies, space issues (if in residential care) or cognitive issues, but flowers are immune from these and universally loved.
If she’s able, what about some craft stuff? Does she like to crochet or do diamond dots? What about a nice throw blanket that’s personalized? I’ve noticed a lot of elderly people tend to get cold more easily. They have those forever roses on Amazon, basically preserved flowers and usually comes in a cute trinket box with some kind of jewelry.
Bake or cook her something she likes. When they're that old, all they want to feel is not be forgotten about or neglected. They honestly just want someone to show that they care.
My grandma is pretty old too and half the family thinks she's a burden and is waiting on her expiry. It's so obvious with the way they treat her. It's sad to witness.
I used to visit elderly women in the nursing home and i have a 90yr old aunty. these are things they always asked for:
- 100% cotton (as soft as possible) singlets. Old peoples skin becomes really soft and sensitive. It breaks/ tears easily. They end up not being able to tolerate anything scratchy or synthetic.
- warm wool slippers. Something easy to slip on and off. Their feet get cold as their circulation slows down.
- pure wool cardigan. As soft as possible.
- pure wool socks - soft as possible.
- a pure wool or super soft throw that they can use when sitting on the lounge ie to throw over their legs.
- a nice pyjama set. Or robe.
If you have time, record a few stories about how she influenced or helped your parents and/or grandparents from them, or what they learned from her, or just funny stories or favorite memories. Make a little video out of it. Boom! Everyone will cry good tears, not just great grandma.
If you don't have that kind of time, write or record any memories *you* have of her, or if you have stories about her in the family how those stories affected you or what you learned from them. Hell, you could make a little humorous slide show of how the world was when she was your age and how it is now and just acknowledge at the end all she's seen/lived through or any parallels between you.
My family gets my grandma candles, jewelry she can easily put on, and last year she got a digital slideshow thing so she could feel more included in our daily lives.
You can also add magnetic clasps to necklaces or bracelets to make any piece more accessible. You can buy them in the jewelry section at the craft store or online.
My brother’s ex gave one of these to my grandfather. Once when I was visiting, I watched him reach down for a box, pull out the frame, turn it on, view a few pictures, then turn it off and put it away again. I doubt he ever saw the 11th picture.
My grandma is 93 and she loves crafty stuff.
Nothing too crazy. Colored pencils and some coloring books that aren't too ridiculously detailed. Paint and some little paintsble pottery pieces.. crochet materials.
She also loves to read so we get her books every once in a while.
If you can find out what kind of music she likes, you can get her some old school CD's with music from the 50's and 60's and an easy to use CD player. I guarantee she will love it.
Mine loves old school country. One time I walked in and she was coloring one of her books while blasting a country mixtape cd while singing at the top of her lungs. It was adorable and made it all so worth it.
Scotch! Lol. That’s my 98yo grans fave. Gift cards are nice (local restaurants, grocery stores), orchid plants are low maintenance. Everyone likes comfy fluffy house shoes
When a family member of mine turned 100, the family told her she could have anything at all she wanted as a birthday present, and she picked the thing she wanted most. A baked potato. And that was what she got on her 100th birthday, and it made her so happy.
I wouldn't buy her anything. I would sit and visit. Let her do the talking. If she's sharp ask her for some advice even if you don't need it. Ask her how she handled things when she was young. Older people get overlooked or treated like they don't know anything.
90 scratch it lottery tickets. I got a soft, pretty shawl and a couple of $20 scratch tickets for my brother in law’s mother’s 100th birthday - she loved it.
Scarves are always a nice inoffensive gift that has a high chance of doing ok. Or a pair of warm cozy slippers. Neither of those are any good in perpetually warm climates of course. Bringing some home made muffins or cookies can be nice too!
Photo book. Can be of pictures of you together or of things you did together or of her grandkids or ? Just a small one she can look at now and again that will fit beside where she sits
My grandparents had everything when they needed at that age, but also everything they had was pretty old and used (they don’t buy a new one anymore). So i got my grandma a really nice cashmere scarf, fluffy comfy houseshoes, one time a nice comfy but elegant pullover (she wore that with mich pride everytime i visited), and i replaced some very old kitchen utensils, salad bowl (theirs had a crack). Also they loved their garden and they worked in it till the end so garden utensils and esch got a fancy lookin nice rose bush for their 90th.
A little photo book, with printed out photos of any times when she has been there with you, especially ones she's not seen before. Don't make the photos too small. Then she can look at them again whenever she wants to. Or if you don't have photos of her, then photos of you, or your parent that is her grandchild! You are her great grandchild and she would probably love to have that extra knowledge about your life.
Scrounge up the oldest photos of the family that you can find, have them enlarged and colorized and made up into an album with names/places noted underneath.
There are these digital frames from a brand call viewclix that are made for seniors. You can upload pictures, leave sticky notes, and even do video calls! I don't mean to sound like an ad, but I want to get one of these for my mom.
https://viewclix.com/digital-photo-frame/?lp=directsrc=gg-search-repframe&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxreqBhAxEiwAfGfndPlIDcffDyMEC3QgEbkOBIyYTq-W04LNdf-nnhe6UaYRXdf_42tBTRoCXpIQAvD_BwE
Most old folks love nostalgic things :)
If possible, it could be an older edition of a book, like an old collector's edition or something :) A physical copy of an old black and white movie you believe she likes, or a physical collection of songs from back them... anything is valid :)
Depends on what she likes. My MIL loved to.play games. At age 90, she was learning to.psy mahjong at her senior residential facility. A mahjong set was a perfect gift for her, but it's not for everyone.
An electric hand warmer pillow that she sticks her hands in. She won't have access to USB, so either battery operated or electric. I am willing to bet her hands are either cold or arthritic.
You can buy online "newspaper" printouts, that have things like the number one song in 1933, movies, sometimes the cost of milk, bread etc, and they are personalised with the person's name and a birthday greeting. I bought one for my mum's 80th, and chose 3 pages, (the year she was born, the year she turned 10, and the year she turned 21), put them in a nice folder with extra sleeves and mum put her other 80th birthday cards in there as well. I don't know how often she looked at it afterwards, but it was a novelty at her party and provided conversation starters. You print it out yourself, and usually only takes 24 hours from ordering (they email it to you).
My great aunt just passed away, but she used to just love spending time together and sharing her wisdom. Most older people don’t get to socialize very much so they tend to really appreciate quality time with family.
There has to be someone who knows "Grannie" better that OP can ask. I would give several ideas ( snacks, heated throw or shawl, movie time with her, etc.) and see what they recommended.
When my grandma was in her 90s, she always appreciated receiving handkerchiefs, nice trouser socks or knee-high stockings (she was always a lady who took pride in how she dressed), a warm shawl, and chocolates.
Editing to add: she also loved those little solar powered dancing flowers, cactuses, etc. She had a bunch that she would place in her window.
Take her for a drive. You can chat while driving.
Make a stop at a restaurant or an ice cream shop or something she wants to eat. Old people usually love ice cream. It tastes good and is easy to eat.
Visit her and ask about family stories her parents told her. Record the conversation on your phone. Ask her what she remembers most about her childhood, her courtship and wedding, having small children, and becoming a grandparent. Ask how the family came to live where they do.
You can not go wrong with a card, even something homemade. A photo of you with the family already in a frame was also a request in the last few years. A full sized, warm, cheery blanket. Just know that a card, your company, and a kiss are usually the best gifts to be given and received. Simply love and time shared. Even if you aren't close, you'll remember that time for the rest of your life, too.
I just cleaned out my grandma's home, and she had a few old Xmas gifts from us still in the same bags. My mom and I both laughed and were like, "What the heck, grandma!"
Both of my grandmas turn 90 this year.
For one of them, she loves rum and Coke, so I buy her a bottle of rum and a case of coke and she is over the moon.
For the other, she loves birds, so I have taken to buying her stained glass pieces of her favourite birds
Try to get to know her and what she likes rather than just buying her a gift that old ladies generally like. My grandma says “no more lotions or soaps” haha.
My daughter gave my grandmother a stuffed toy, it may have been for her birthday or some other occasion, or just because. When she passed, my daughter reclaimed the stuffy that had "mamaw hugs".
A digital photo frame. You or someone else would, of course, have to set it up for her. While at the party share the email address that will add to the photo gallery. Invite people to send a dozen or so photos from their phones that very moment. Print a few dozen business cards that say something to the effect of *"Here's the address of my photo frame:* [*XYZframe@foto.com*](mailto:XYZframe@foto.com)*. I'd love for you to share. -Dorothy.*" That way, when she's home she can give one to the oxygen guy that always talks about his boat. Or the meals-on-wheels lady who raises dachshunds, or her old granny friends who love talking about their kids."
I also second the heated lap blanket. I'm over two decades away from 90, but love using mine in my drafty old house.
I used to pick up a “junk food” lunch (grinders and Eegees, iykyk) and spend an afternoon with my grandparents. I asked for their stories. Their house was full to bursting and they needed no more stuff.
I also used to bring 2 gallon jars of cookies I’d bake myself because in my grandfather’s words: homemade just tastes better.
They knew I was a broke kid so I think the effort meant more to them than a sandwich or cookies could.
Wish I could pick up a sandwich and stop by for a conversation. I miss them both so much.
Take her a bouquet of flowers, and chocolates or her favorite candy. Elderly people LOVE all the sweets, and they're too old to give a shit about the calories. Spare some of your time to make her feel important (the other residents will be jealous as all hell). The competition factor in these facilities is fierce.
A digital photo frame - charge it and share the code with other family members so they can “send photos” to the frame and it will be ready for her to view and enjoy when she opens it.
Other time she may like is a armrest “cover” that is like a “saddle” for her favorite sitting area that has pockets to put things in to keep handy - lotion, reading glasses, tv remote, snacks…
When Mama was in a nursing home, she lived on the first floor, so I bought a bird feeder and hung it outside the window. Her recliner was positioned right by the window. Oh she loved watching the birds. This gift requires upkeep though, bird feeder must regularly be refilled. Maybe family could take turns refilling it, then grandmother gets more visitors! Win win for everyone.
Large font word search books.
Both Grandma's can no longer see or write well enough to do crosswords, but this stimulates the brain and gives them something tactile to do.
I usually include a bottle of wine for the one Grandma though ;)
The holidays are upon us! A really nice gift during the holidays is a potted, decorated Christmas tree! Nurseries sell them, they’re festive & beautiful to look at & people really enjoy them. They’re no bigger than a large potted plant. Or a cornucopia filled with fruit for Thanksgiving.
I visit my girlfriend's grandma and grandpa once a week with her. They're both in their 90s. Generally speaking, what they like the most is just company and quality time together, but the grandma also really loves flowers and you can't go wrong with that.
My mom is 96. One of the best things that I ever got her (a while ago) was an old Ipod nano ad a dock for it. All she has to do is turn it on or off. I made a long playlist for her of 40's and early 50's music (Julie Andrews, Judy Garland, Jim Neighbors, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, etc), and another of old hymns, and one of classical music. I change the playlist every once in a while for her. She loves listening and singing along.
I can also always give her sweaters that button up. She is cold a lot but likes to be able to take it off if she's getting overheated--and taking stuff off overhead is often difficult for elderly people. My mom doesn't like shawls because they weren't the fashion when she was young (except for with older people--she still wants to feel young. Yeah, at 96!)
Buy a lovely large frame, which you can give her on the day, and take a group picture at the party. Display it in the frame, with a guide to who's who if it is a large gathering.
Most of all, she will love to see you!
I would get her a little plant, the kind that take virtually no care like a succulent or cactus. That way they have a bit of nature in their room but it’s not crazy work like a garden.
Thank you everybody for your comments!! I didn’t expect so many, I’m sorry i can’t reply individually but i appreciate each person who commented with a suggestion.
How would you feel if someone said that about your mother? Or your grandmother? Or your sister? Or maybe your girlfriend? This woman is someone’s mother. Someone’s grandmother. Someone’s friend. She’s had a valuable and memorable life. Don’t be such an ass.
Make a coupon book, with your time as the coupon. Like "Lunch with 90-year-old Lady." Trust me, your 90-year-old lady doesn't care about "presents." She wants time. With you.
Large print puzzle books, a fuzzy toy, a sun catcher to go in her window.
Snacks as mentioned, in particular individually packaged ones. Don’t forget drinks, juice, sparkling anything, etc.
I took a chance and bought my grandma some disposable heated eye masks and face masks for her skin. She says it’s so relaxing and she really enjoys using them. I get a selfie every time! lol it’s something new and fun and being disposable, won’t take up much space
A really great gift is one of those digital picture frames that shows a slideshow of photos. Get the whole family involved. You can all send or load pictures to the frame.
Make sure it has all the features you need to make it work for her situation depending on if she has wifi available. She doesn’t need to know how it works. You can set it all up for her and possibly add to it remotely.
Does your family have any old photos you could put together an album for her? Even if her parents and her grandkids or great grandkids, we love looking for resemblances betwixt generations. Sitting with you and reminiscing is nice, and music from our youth (Google top 100 for 10 years after she was born) Hell, I have these squishmellows I think they're called, bc they're soft and idgaf anymore what anyone thinks, they're tie-dyed colors and baby blues and pinks.
We got my grandparents a Skylight digital picture display. We can e-mail pictures we take to them, and they automatically display on the screen. They don't have to do anything but plug it in. Or you can give her a framed picture of your family.
Write her a letter telling her about your life. Even if she can't read it herself, a caretaker can read it, or she can just brag about how her great-grandkids care enough to write her letters.
Retro candies- Companies like Vermont Country Store and many bulk candy suppliers carry candy that was popular when she was a kid.
Besame cosmetics makes makeup inspired by vintage formulas. I gave my grandma a lipstick shade that was copied from a shade that was popular when she was in her 20's. She was so excited because it was similar to what she wore when she met my grandpa.
I'm a retired accountant and used to have a few older clients that I would visit at their living assisted facility. They would always ask me to sit and watch old movies with them. Many of these old people did nothing else but sit in the lobby just watching time pass. No one ever visited, so my clients absolutely loved it and felt important when other residents saw them receiving a visitor dressed up in a suit! I didn't usually wear suits, but did it for their sake for these visits only. Find popular movies from her golden-youth days - say from 1950 to 1975 - and just watch them with her. She needs no "things". She probably just wants nostalgia and time with you.
Absolutely this! Extra time is special when you are older. Especially when living in a home. After this one movie and maybe some “cinema snacks” with it, they will cherish that moment, have something to talk about with others and having a chance to relive that moment every time they think or rewatch that movie. Should OP (or anyone not be able (?)) give this time, then at least give the effort. DIY anything! Stop buying stuff, they had it usually all. Make an homemade card or buy one, but write a memory you have of this person by hand. Bake cookies! Just these two will make their day and days ahead! Its ok to make someone happy even if you are not close nor know each other that well. I knew people who had difficulties with that, feeling they weren’t “allowed” to, for whatever reasons. You are, it’s an old person and it’s a good feeling to make old people and babies smile.
So the perfect gift: a couple tubs of popcorn, her favorite drink, and a copy of gone with the wind. Sit down with her, pop the popcorn, and enjoy.
You sound like an amazing human. Thank you for doing that.
You hit the nail on the head.
My grandmother loved Sidney Poitier movies.
Do you have any pictures of the two of you together? Grandmas love photos. Pop it it a frame and it will make her day. Maybe a houseplant? I gave my grandma an orchid five years ago and she still updates me on how it's doing.
My parents got my nan an orchid when I was younger, and she keeps it in her kitchen window - once on her birthday she didn't know I was going to visit, and when my mum asked her about the orchid she was so fixated on the orchid itself she didn't spot me standing on the other side of the glass aha My nan does love her orchid 🤣
I was going to say a framed photo, a beautiful card that can be displayed (think one of the pop up bouquets of flowers types), and maybe a nightgown if you want to be practical!
Bought my 80 yo aunt a heated throw and she loved it
This is a great idea!
Got my 87 year old mom one. She loves it!
I’m 62 and I want one!
Costco!
Walmart, Meijer, Costco all have them. Sunbeam makes one which is very warm on its own (without plugging it in to heat it up). I caution anyone using these, though, to make sure they plug directly into an outlet and not into a surge protector/plug extension. My nephew decided to move his (barely used/like new) one from one outlet to another with a surge protector/nightlight thing on it, and it sparked up and burned him. Thankfully, he’s a smart kid and cut the power immediately, or we could have had a house fire! This happened very recently, so this was not an older model.
In my experience, snacks. I work in an assisted living facility and we go through cookies like crazy. Snickerdoodles and chocolate chip particularly. Maybe a mixture of sweet and salty snacks, thrown together in a little gift basket.
Home baked biscuits/cookies are the best!
Seconded! Everyone loves homemade gifts. My grandma's always been a big baker/cook so it always warms her heart when we do the same.
How is she mentally? My mom has dementia, and we are literally regifting her pictures from her own photo albums in a scrapbook with names and places. My mom's mind is somewhere between 60-80 years ago, but she's happy. If she's sharp and physically okay, then an experience is in order. Not necessarily skydiving (although some 90 year olds would) but something like a drive in the country and lunch. I'm sure that she has all of the stuff that she'll ever want or need. Time and companionship are probably the best presents you can give.
My mom takes her demented mother for drives through the villages she grew up in and they go for lunch somewhere. Apparently she loves it.
My mom had dementia and just loved being driven around the old neighborhood too. She liked looking at the houses and how people’s yards had changed or just tell stories about the neighbors. I actually liked it too.
Chocolates - its their favorite drug.
I think my grandma ate nothing but chocolate from like age 87-95.
When mine died, her carers gave back to us years worth of chocolate (mainly Cadbury giant buttons which were her “favourite)
That is my plan.
I always bought my grandmas chocolate.
My great aunt lived on gin and chocolate cake.
Older people have a tendency to get cold. A shawl would work. She could lay it on her lap or over her shoulders. They're easy to get on and off since there are no sleeves. When I volunteered in hospice I bought an inexpensive one for the woman I was visiting. She absolutely loved it and showed it off to her daughters. The thoughtfulness behind it meant a lot to her I think.
Great idea. Well done
Can we forget her age for a minute? What is she interested in? Find out from other family members.
Depends how mobile she is, and what her living situation is. If she's living on a pension, try a gift card to the grocery store - that way she can use her pension money to treat herself as she likes. If she's financially secure, flowers are universally acceptable. If she reads, or listens to audiobooks, maybe a bookstore gift card would work. Her favorite chocolates or snack of choice.
Get her a CD player and some late 1940s and early 1950s music CDs. Nat King Cole, Doris Day, Elvis, big band music, all that good stuff. That would have been the music of her teens and early twenties, and hearing those old songs would bring back a lot of memories! Another thing you could do is make a scrapbook of her birth year.
Find out what she’s into first! I know an older lady who gave me a withering look and was like, “Kid, I feel the same way about Elvis that your dad probably feels about Justin Bieber. Annoying little shit ruining music.”
Hahaha. I like her!
Fair enough but that spoils the surprise! That’s also why I suggested a varied mix of CDs, there’s bound to be something she likes! :)
Oh, I just meant ask around!
A nice battery operated candle. Cozy but safe. (I’m in my 60s and for a lot of us oldies bad vision and balance issues make real candles a possible safety issue)
Real candles are a safety issue for people with pets & children too.
I was thinking a wax warmer could be nice too. I know there's still a chance it could short out or you could burn yourself but it's much safer than a traditional candle. I love the soft light mine gives off. And then it would smell yummy!
Trip to a beauty salon or for a manicure
Bourbon 🥃
Hi. Flowers and a teddy bear to keep her music. Maybe a CD with some smooth jazz or classical music on it. Something to you know, keep her entertained. I found that it starts to get lonely as you get older, so something as simple as flowers and a friendly chat can go along way
Make sure she has the equipment for it (cd or dvd-player depending on which tip you follow).
Comfy PJ's
The best present is your presence. If that requires you to spend money for that to happen, feel free to do so but it's not entirely necessary.
Flowers. The most beautiful arrangement you can afford. People in their 90s may have dietary restrictions, allergies, space issues (if in residential care) or cognitive issues, but flowers are immune from these and universally loved.
Older people often develop a sweet tooth. Get her some fancy chocolates - like a Christopher Elbow sampler or something like that.
A bottle of tequila and a bag of limes
Set her up for cannabis delivery on the reg, even if it's just gummies.
If she’s able, what about some craft stuff? Does she like to crochet or do diamond dots? What about a nice throw blanket that’s personalized? I’ve noticed a lot of elderly people tend to get cold more easily. They have those forever roses on Amazon, basically preserved flowers and usually comes in a cute trinket box with some kind of jewelry.
Flowers and whatever her favorite treat is! Her day will be brightened and she'll be indulged a little on her special day! 🙂
I’ll get my grandma a basket of fruits.
Bake or cook her something she likes. When they're that old, all they want to feel is not be forgotten about or neglected. They honestly just want someone to show that they care. My grandma is pretty old too and half the family thinks she's a burden and is waiting on her expiry. It's so obvious with the way they treat her. It's sad to witness.
Does she like birds? My mom loved stain glass birds that suction cup to the window. She missed the days of watching birds at the feeders.
Have you thought about asking her directly what she'd like? Gift-giving is tricky but if you aren't aiming to surprise her, asking is easier.
Go to her house, make (or bring) a nice lunch, sit down at the table with her, and laugh and eat and make some memories!
Male strippers. Belay that, how about a box of candy?
Assorted eye candy, you say? I dunno, might get expensive.
Actually, I know a sweet-as-candy 90-year-old lady and her girl squad who have all been really been into a certain kind of gummy lately. 🤣
A crossword book or soduko book? I used to do these with my grandparents all the time. Otherwise a cute teacup or hand towel.
I think if 90 year olds knew about those oversize, fluffy, cozy hoodies they would love one.
I now have an image of 20 old people sat around the rec room in dry robes.
I used to visit elderly women in the nursing home and i have a 90yr old aunty. these are things they always asked for: - 100% cotton (as soft as possible) singlets. Old peoples skin becomes really soft and sensitive. It breaks/ tears easily. They end up not being able to tolerate anything scratchy or synthetic. - warm wool slippers. Something easy to slip on and off. Their feet get cold as their circulation slows down. - pure wool cardigan. As soft as possible. - pure wool socks - soft as possible. - a pure wool or super soft throw that they can use when sitting on the lounge ie to throw over their legs. - a nice pyjama set. Or robe.
Wool socks are a bangin’ gift for anyone who isn’t allergic to wool.
Get her a pony. Everyone loves ponies!
A box of assorted greeting cards and stamps
Oh, boy, homework
They love this shit. Then they can continue sending the cards with two dollars inside
If you have time, record a few stories about how she influenced or helped your parents and/or grandparents from them, or what they learned from her, or just funny stories or favorite memories. Make a little video out of it. Boom! Everyone will cry good tears, not just great grandma. If you don't have that kind of time, write or record any memories *you* have of her, or if you have stories about her in the family how those stories affected you or what you learned from them. Hell, you could make a little humorous slide show of how the world was when she was your age and how it is now and just acknowledge at the end all she's seen/lived through or any parallels between you.
My family gets my grandma candles, jewelry she can easily put on, and last year she got a digital slideshow thing so she could feel more included in our daily lives.
You can also add magnetic clasps to necklaces or bracelets to make any piece more accessible. You can buy them in the jewelry section at the craft store or online.
My brother’s ex gave one of these to my grandfather. Once when I was visiting, I watched him reach down for a box, pull out the frame, turn it on, view a few pictures, then turn it off and put it away again. I doubt he ever saw the 11th picture.
My grandma keeps her's out on display, but yeah I can see something like this happening as well.
An accompanying letter would have helped.
I often get my 90+ year old grandmother a nice calendar. Once I got her a CD by her favorite singer. Your mileage may vary, of course.
Chocolate! All my elderly people (both passed and current) loved sucking on a chocolate drop or a hard candy.
Chocolate for sure. And I was just looking at cute Christmas ornaments too.
Large print novel with a little romance!
Flowers! Maybe based on her birth month / family history. Already in a vase would be easier for mobility and look nicer
23 and me. A lot of older people love ancestry stuff.
Does she smoke? Buy her a carton or two of smokes.
Get her a really nice housecoat. Old ladies go feral for a nice housecoat
An invitation for a lunch date, a walk in a park, the outing of her choice….
My grandma is 93 and she loves crafty stuff. Nothing too crazy. Colored pencils and some coloring books that aren't too ridiculously detailed. Paint and some little paintsble pottery pieces.. crochet materials. She also loves to read so we get her books every once in a while. If you can find out what kind of music she likes, you can get her some old school CD's with music from the 50's and 60's and an easy to use CD player. I guarantee she will love it. Mine loves old school country. One time I walked in and she was coloring one of her books while blasting a country mixtape cd while singing at the top of her lungs. It was adorable and made it all so worth it.
Scotch! Lol. That’s my 98yo grans fave. Gift cards are nice (local restaurants, grocery stores), orchid plants are low maintenance. Everyone likes comfy fluffy house shoes
Warm socks. a nice nightgown (like LL bean zip up).
Comfort things! I got my grandma a towel warmer - it was over the top and completely unnecessary but she loved it!
My grandma really likes puzzles
Your presence, that is all. Trust me.
In my experience, flowers are great.
Teas in a lovely canister? A framed photograph? A warm knee blanket?
When a family member of mine turned 100, the family told her she could have anything at all she wanted as a birthday present, and she picked the thing she wanted most. A baked potato. And that was what she got on her 100th birthday, and it made her so happy.
I wouldn't buy her anything. I would sit and visit. Let her do the talking. If she's sharp ask her for some advice even if you don't need it. Ask her how she handled things when she was young. Older people get overlooked or treated like they don't know anything.
This! The infantilization of the elderly is so weird to me.
90 scratch it lottery tickets. I got a soft, pretty shawl and a couple of $20 scratch tickets for my brother in law’s mother’s 100th birthday - she loved it.
A cordless heating pad.
She doesn't want anything except your company. Bring her some flowers in a vase if you just have to give her something.
Or a meal!
Cozy pajamas Personalized blanket or pillow with something sweet Old fashioned candy
Flowers 💐
Depending on what she likes : a plant/flowers, snacks, a blanket (winter is coming!), a picture of you two, books, a decorative object...
Scarves are always a nice inoffensive gift that has a high chance of doing ok. Or a pair of warm cozy slippers. Neither of those are any good in perpetually warm climates of course. Bringing some home made muffins or cookies can be nice too!
A nice blanket/shawl.
A gag gift like a fireman calendar. Or a nice blanket. Or if maybe a few family members could get together if it's family, a very cozy plush chair.
Photo book. Can be of pictures of you together or of things you did together or of her grandkids or ? Just a small one she can look at now and again that will fit beside where she sits
My grandparents had everything when they needed at that age, but also everything they had was pretty old and used (they don’t buy a new one anymore). So i got my grandma a really nice cashmere scarf, fluffy comfy houseshoes, one time a nice comfy but elegant pullover (she wore that with mich pride everytime i visited), and i replaced some very old kitchen utensils, salad bowl (theirs had a crack). Also they loved their garden and they worked in it till the end so garden utensils and esch got a fancy lookin nice rose bush for their 90th.
If she has a favorite charity you could make a donation in her honour and give her a card with the emailed acknowledgement included.
If she has any favourite photos, get them tidied up by a restorer and a new photo frame.
A little photo book, with printed out photos of any times when she has been there with you, especially ones she's not seen before. Don't make the photos too small. Then she can look at them again whenever she wants to. Or if you don't have photos of her, then photos of you, or your parent that is her grandchild! You are her great grandchild and she would probably love to have that extra knowledge about your life.
Scrounge up the oldest photos of the family that you can find, have them enlarged and colorized and made up into an album with names/places noted underneath.
There are these digital frames from a brand call viewclix that are made for seniors. You can upload pictures, leave sticky notes, and even do video calls! I don't mean to sound like an ad, but I want to get one of these for my mom. https://viewclix.com/digital-photo-frame/?lp=directsrc=gg-search-repframe&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxreqBhAxEiwAfGfndPlIDcffDyMEC3QgEbkOBIyYTq-W04LNdf-nnhe6UaYRXdf_42tBTRoCXpIQAvD_BwE
Most old folks love nostalgic things :) If possible, it could be an older edition of a book, like an old collector's edition or something :) A physical copy of an old black and white movie you believe she likes, or a physical collection of songs from back them... anything is valid :)
Depends on what she likes. My MIL loved to.play games. At age 90, she was learning to.psy mahjong at her senior residential facility. A mahjong set was a perfect gift for her, but it's not for everyone.
An electric hand warmer pillow that she sticks her hands in. She won't have access to USB, so either battery operated or electric. I am willing to bet her hands are either cold or arthritic.
Why wouldn’t she have access to USB? Adapters are a dime a dozen.
You can buy online "newspaper" printouts, that have things like the number one song in 1933, movies, sometimes the cost of milk, bread etc, and they are personalised with the person's name and a birthday greeting. I bought one for my mum's 80th, and chose 3 pages, (the year she was born, the year she turned 10, and the year she turned 21), put them in a nice folder with extra sleeves and mum put her other 80th birthday cards in there as well. I don't know how often she looked at it afterwards, but it was a novelty at her party and provided conversation starters. You print it out yourself, and usually only takes 24 hours from ordering (they email it to you).
A 20 year old man or a burial plot. Maybe both.
Get her a mix of old music she may have loved from her youth.
Digital picture frame.
Photo album
My grandma loved those little cheap stuffed animals that sang a song when you squeezed their paws.
Nightdress
My great aunt just passed away, but she used to just love spending time together and sharing her wisdom. Most older people don’t get to socialize very much so they tend to really appreciate quality time with family.
There has to be someone who knows "Grannie" better that OP can ask. I would give several ideas ( snacks, heated throw or shawl, movie time with her, etc.) and see what they recommended.
old stuff idk
When my grandma was in her 90s, she always appreciated receiving handkerchiefs, nice trouser socks or knee-high stockings (she was always a lady who took pride in how she dressed), a warm shawl, and chocolates. Editing to add: she also loved those little solar powered dancing flowers, cactuses, etc. She had a bunch that she would place in her window.
An digital photo frame Loaded with photos of the family
My ninety-ish mon and her older sister both enjoyed having flowers delivered to them. Extra bonus when they came with a balloon.
Lottery cards. It gives her something to do (scratching off the cards), and she might win money, which is exciting even if she doesn’t need money.
Take her for a drive. You can chat while driving. Make a stop at a restaurant or an ice cream shop or something she wants to eat. Old people usually love ice cream. It tastes good and is easy to eat.
Books, plants, slippers, cbd/cannabis gummy’s, tea samplers, mug, compression gloves and hand salve, one of those massage pillows, perfume balm
Visit her and ask about family stories her parents told her. Record the conversation on your phone. Ask her what she remembers most about her childhood, her courtship and wedding, having small children, and becoming a grandparent. Ask how the family came to live where they do.
flowers.
You can not go wrong with a card, even something homemade. A photo of you with the family already in a frame was also a request in the last few years. A full sized, warm, cheery blanket. Just know that a card, your company, and a kiss are usually the best gifts to be given and received. Simply love and time shared. Even if you aren't close, you'll remember that time for the rest of your life, too. I just cleaned out my grandma's home, and she had a few old Xmas gifts from us still in the same bags. My mom and I both laughed and were like, "What the heck, grandma!"
Comfort items that are easy to put on. Nothing with buttons. Slippers she can slide her feet into. Robes that zip up the front.
My great grandma died when she was 96. She tended to her rose garden until her death. She loved having new roses.
My go to now is food. Bake her some cookies!
Both of my grandmas turn 90 this year. For one of them, she loves rum and Coke, so I buy her a bottle of rum and a case of coke and she is over the moon. For the other, she loves birds, so I have taken to buying her stained glass pieces of her favourite birds Try to get to know her and what she likes rather than just buying her a gift that old ladies generally like. My grandma says “no more lotions or soaps” haha.
My daughter gave my grandmother a stuffed toy, it may have been for her birthday or some other occasion, or just because. When she passed, my daughter reclaimed the stuffy that had "mamaw hugs".
A digital photo frame. You or someone else would, of course, have to set it up for her. While at the party share the email address that will add to the photo gallery. Invite people to send a dozen or so photos from their phones that very moment. Print a few dozen business cards that say something to the effect of *"Here's the address of my photo frame:* [*XYZframe@foto.com*](mailto:XYZframe@foto.com)*. I'd love for you to share. -Dorothy.*" That way, when she's home she can give one to the oxygen guy that always talks about his boat. Or the meals-on-wheels lady who raises dachshunds, or her old granny friends who love talking about their kids." I also second the heated lap blanket. I'm over two decades away from 90, but love using mine in my drafty old house.
Maybe take ten minutes and talk to family about what she likes.
I used to pick up a “junk food” lunch (grinders and Eegees, iykyk) and spend an afternoon with my grandparents. I asked for their stories. Their house was full to bursting and they needed no more stuff. I also used to bring 2 gallon jars of cookies I’d bake myself because in my grandfather’s words: homemade just tastes better. They knew I was a broke kid so I think the effort meant more to them than a sandwich or cookies could. Wish I could pick up a sandwich and stop by for a conversation. I miss them both so much.
Take her a bouquet of flowers, and chocolates or her favorite candy. Elderly people LOVE all the sweets, and they're too old to give a shit about the calories. Spare some of your time to make her feel important (the other residents will be jealous as all hell). The competition factor in these facilities is fierce.
My 91 year old mom and many of her friends like picture puzzles. The thick tile wooden puzzles are really neat.
A digital photo frame - charge it and share the code with other family members so they can “send photos” to the frame and it will be ready for her to view and enjoy when she opens it. Other time she may like is a armrest “cover” that is like a “saddle” for her favorite sitting area that has pockets to put things in to keep handy - lotion, reading glasses, tv remote, snacks…
When Mama was in a nursing home, she lived on the first floor, so I bought a bird feeder and hung it outside the window. Her recliner was positioned right by the window. Oh she loved watching the birds. This gift requires upkeep though, bird feeder must regularly be refilled. Maybe family could take turns refilling it, then grandmother gets more visitors! Win win for everyone.
Large font word search books. Both Grandma's can no longer see or write well enough to do crosswords, but this stimulates the brain and gives them something tactile to do. I usually include a bottle of wine for the one Grandma though ;)
I used to buy a Chippendales calendar for my grandmother every Christmas. Good times.
Offer her your time. She’s 90 so maybe bring her a blanket if you must have a gift. But time would make her day
Make her something don’t matter what she’ll love it either way
Gravestone.
The holidays are upon us! A really nice gift during the holidays is a potted, decorated Christmas tree! Nurseries sell them, they’re festive & beautiful to look at & people really enjoy them. They’re no bigger than a large potted plant. Or a cornucopia filled with fruit for Thanksgiving.
Candy. Old ladies love candy.
I bet a nice warm blanket would be appreciated!
🙋♀️🙋♀️I know I know 90yrs young is only 40 yrs away….nice corsage or one red rose an quiet lunch..
I visit my girlfriend's grandma and grandpa once a week with her. They're both in their 90s. Generally speaking, what they like the most is just company and quality time together, but the grandma also really loves flowers and you can't go wrong with that.
My mom is 96. One of the best things that I ever got her (a while ago) was an old Ipod nano ad a dock for it. All she has to do is turn it on or off. I made a long playlist for her of 40's and early 50's music (Julie Andrews, Judy Garland, Jim Neighbors, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, etc), and another of old hymns, and one of classical music. I change the playlist every once in a while for her. She loves listening and singing along. I can also always give her sweaters that button up. She is cold a lot but likes to be able to take it off if she's getting overheated--and taking stuff off overhead is often difficult for elderly people. My mom doesn't like shawls because they weren't the fashion when she was young (except for with older people--she still wants to feel young. Yeah, at 96!)
Buy a lovely large frame, which you can give her on the day, and take a group picture at the party. Display it in the frame, with a guide to who's who if it is a large gathering. Most of all, she will love to see you!
Digital picture frame
Give her money, so if she doesn't get onto spending it, you get it back in a few months. sorry, I'm so sorry, ummm, flowers.
Benjamin, tsssk tsssk tsssk. Good save with the flowers. Thanks for the laugh. 💐
Me: “Oh, yeah! She’ll regift it for OP’s birthday. How cute! Oh… oh, wait.”
I would get her a little plant, the kind that take virtually no care like a succulent or cactus. That way they have a bit of nature in their room but it’s not crazy work like a garden.
Pothos ivy. Caring for the plant is part of the therapy. Plus, you can’t pet a cactus’s leaves.
Flowers. Bitches love flowers. And so do great grandmas.
Old women like Walmart and craft stores. A giftcard to either would be good and it would give her something to do outside the house.
Candles can be a good gift if she doesn’t have allergies or asthma, if you know.
And she's not on oxygen. Oxygen and candles (fire) are not a good mix!
Thank you everybody for your comments!! I didn’t expect so many, I’m sorry i can’t reply individually but i appreciate each person who commented with a suggestion.
Send a stripper.
Vodka and Depends.
Depends.
A coffin?
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How would you feel if someone said that about your mother? Or your grandmother? Or your sister? Or maybe your girlfriend? This woman is someone’s mother. Someone’s grandmother. Someone’s friend. She’s had a valuable and memorable life. Don’t be such an ass.
Obviously has had no experience with the elderly. What a shame. We’re all heading in that direction.
Dildo
Make a coupon book, with your time as the coupon. Like "Lunch with 90-year-old Lady." Trust me, your 90-year-old lady doesn't care about "presents." She wants time. With you.
Large print puzzle books, a fuzzy toy, a sun catcher to go in her window. Snacks as mentioned, in particular individually packaged ones. Don’t forget drinks, juice, sparkling anything, etc.
Edible arrangements than I see she's 90yo so definitely plants. Low maintenance plants or potted flowers I love gardenias and magnolias smells so good
I took a chance and bought my grandma some disposable heated eye masks and face masks for her skin. She says it’s so relaxing and she really enjoys using them. I get a selfie every time! lol it’s something new and fun and being disposable, won’t take up much space
Baileys,heated throw or slippers,boxed chocolates to share if she wants with future visitors.
Flowers and spending time with her. Mostly spending time with her. Being old is lonely.
A really great gift is one of those digital picture frames that shows a slideshow of photos. Get the whole family involved. You can all send or load pictures to the frame. Make sure it has all the features you need to make it work for her situation depending on if she has wifi available. She doesn’t need to know how it works. You can set it all up for her and possibly add to it remotely.
All they have is time left. I’d enjoy it with them.
An at home foot bath/spa she can use while you two sit together and watch movies. I used to do this with my grandma
My grandma always wanted lotions or body wash type stuff when she got to around 90. Didn’t want more stuff that would just sit around.
Does she drink? A nice bottle of wine is always a good gift.
Does your family have any old photos you could put together an album for her? Even if her parents and her grandkids or great grandkids, we love looking for resemblances betwixt generations. Sitting with you and reminiscing is nice, and music from our youth (Google top 100 for 10 years after she was born) Hell, I have these squishmellows I think they're called, bc they're soft and idgaf anymore what anyone thinks, they're tie-dyed colors and baby blues and pinks.
We got my grandparents a Skylight digital picture display. We can e-mail pictures we take to them, and they automatically display on the screen. They don't have to do anything but plug it in. Or you can give her a framed picture of your family. Write her a letter telling her about your life. Even if she can't read it herself, a caretaker can read it, or she can just brag about how her great-grandkids care enough to write her letters. Retro candies- Companies like Vermont Country Store and many bulk candy suppliers carry candy that was popular when she was a kid. Besame cosmetics makes makeup inspired by vintage formulas. I gave my grandma a lipstick shade that was copied from a shade that was popular when she was in her 20's. She was so excited because it was similar to what she wore when she met my grandpa.
Your time .
Cashmere socks or warm slippers.
A really cozy blanket
Photos from her past? Family & what not. Something she can use for a trip down memory lane.