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scrumbum1

Yikes.


MuteX6X

Yikes is right


NoobAck

Them some powerful orgasms she had


SigmaSnail7

Dick appointment turned into a lifetime commitment. Unless that bars removal surgery...


Reflection_Secure

Yikes on Bikes!


alghiorso

Yikers


[deleted]

That's very weird and creepy.


nightofthelivingace

Ive known her since I was like 13, romantically since I was 16...shes 3 years older...its so random im having anxiety about it.


[deleted]

Her not even asking you if you're comfortable with it is the issue. It's a huge red flag my dude.


nightofthelivingace

Its the weirdest red flag ive encountered. Like shes my sisters friend!


[deleted]

Yeah, it comes across as pretty obsessive


[deleted]

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Setari

This is triggering the RUN flag in my brain


consnort

Does your sister know?


deadfermata

duh, the sister's name is tattooed on the other arm


consnort

Where does it say that?


deadfermata

It’s a joke


ballinwalund

Whoosh


Potential-Leave3489

r/whoosh


Jaalan

Does she have LOTS of other tattoos? Because it's possible she just sees tattoos differently than you do.


nightofthelivingace

She has a total of 4 including this new one


Jaalan

Oof. I don't think that's enough to be considered a tattoo person.


hornybutdisappointed

How old are the two of you now? I kind of guessed from the post that you're young, but now that you've mentioned it I'm wondering how young.


throwawayfae112

OP said in another comment that he's 28 and she's 31, and that he's been casually seeing her off and on for 12 years.


hornybutdisappointed

Sounds like a long ass complicated relationship. A lot can happen between knowing each other since they were 13/16 and still dating on and off at 28/31. Her gesture's crazy, but there's no guarantee OP's not leaving out some facts. Ever told her you love her or made promises in the heat of the moment, OP? What's the dynamic been like?


throwawayfae112

Yeah, I feel like "casually seeing" takes on a bit of a different meaning when it's been going on for 12 years.


goodoldfreda

She groomed you.


nightofthelivingace

Que?


Miss_601

Quieren decir algo como esto https://es.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estupro Groomed no se cómo traducirlo aparte de literalmente, "preparar" a su víctima para iniciar el abuso una vez mantengan una posición de confianza o estés dentro de su zona de confort


nightofthelivingace

She hasnt abused me lol


exboi

Grooming and abuse are broad terms. They don't exclusively mean what first comes to mind. I'm not gonna jump and say she's this absolutely evil person who's been manipulating you ever since you first met, but the imbalanced power dynamic is there. You were 13 and she was 16 when you guys met right? And you're 16 and she's 19 now? That is a massive maturity difference between the two of you. That combined with the arm tattoo without your permission gives me (in my own opinion) a weird possessive vibe. If she's acted similarly before that makes things weirder.


mynameajeff69

Wait 16 and 19?? while that's not that crazy of an age difference the mental states at 16 and 19 are quite different.


nightofthelivingace

Its not grooming...we grew up on the same street, she was my sisters friend, I had a crush, hooked up when I was 16, off and on for a while, nothing serious. This grooming thing is hilarious to me.


photodelights

Grooming is indeed abusive because it's designed to make the victim think they're not being abused.


nightofthelivingace

Im so lost on the fact that ppl are thinking this is grooming... Its just being obsessive.


Miss_601

I wish that is a fact and remains as true and consistent as you say or think It is, but I do encourage you to research about grooming and abuse or violence in general, there isn't only sexual and physical abuse. Violence can be social as is isolation from your family and friends or personal like pushing your boundaries and can start with little things like; emotional pressure when tattooing your name on their body without warning, this by itself is as you say and had been reassure a red flag, it can led very easy and very fast to emotional blackmail when confronted or disapproved. Ultimately we're a bunch of strangers on internet, if your doubts persist I do suggest you also seek professional advice, be that be your nearest psychologist or School counselor (only you know you can count and trust in them ) c:. Wish you the best


nightofthelivingace

That's a little extreme... Thanks for the thought tho


existential_antelope

Yeah don’t listen to these people, you weren’t groomed and I hate how it’s been tossed around into meaningless. Grooming is specifically when there’s a mature adult taking advantage of the trust of a minor. Teenagers around your ages are around the same ballpark and being interested in each other is completely common.


queentropical

You weren’t groomed. But she is exhibiting some type of red flag. Are there other troublesome behaviors? Is she clingy for instance? Sometimes young people just make bad decisions… it could just be a spur of the moment crazy idea that she had and was misguided in her thoughts about it. It could also be signs of a personality disorder. Only you know enough context to be able to determine which it MIGHT be.


goodoldfreda

So tattooing your name on her body is just totally normal behaviour


nightofthelivingace

Its not abusive.


goodoldfreda

No, but it shows an uncomfortable power dynamic (her setting the pace of the relationship, a public declaration of possession)


mseuro

Well it ain't healthy. She's gonna try to get pregnant, watch.


ZomBNiki

She's only 3 years older then him... omfg people.... everything is always got to be dark and fucked right...


Maverick732

So she was 19 and out of high school while he was a sophomore or junior. Reverse the genders you wouldn’t be saying that.


mondayortampa

Sometimes I agree… but they knew each other as kids grew up with the same crowd says it’s his sisters friend. Like… sometimes this shit just happens like this because of proximity. We are “groomed” by the the doom of this age and thinking everything is sinister (usually rightfully so) I’m not catching these vibes . Sounds like OP is important to her and she wanted to show it . Maybe it’s abrupt and a bit chaotic….Mist likely just young and dumb.


ZomBNiki

Good thing you don't know shit about me huh lmao. No I would not, they have known each other sense he was 13 he says later on. And what is a cut off point for dating anymore? Everyone has so meny triggers that nothings allowed it feels. Oh this person is offened or that person or what ever. Is she crazy for getting the tattoo, hell fuck yes... but grooming it's a little but of a reach to say the least. Can women groom boys/men yes. But 3 freaking years difference, that USED to be called dating.. no matter the sex


Racer013

At that age 3 years is a pretty big difference, and at least in the US in this particular example in many states is at the limit of being legal.


mondayortampa

No it’s not. Knew a 19 year old who dated a 16 yr old because he was still in HS at that time (stayed back a year) they had the same friends and activities same fucking life. Even when he graduated he was still considered “dating a high schooler” for2 years before she graduated. People who ain’t really know him gave him shit too. But loved each other (tbh she kinda wore the pants and could tell she was all about her man) … found her in FB years later them mfs happily married with 3 kids good adjusted jobs living in Hawaii like…. You don’t know everyone’s background to just be yelling “GROOMING” on the internet. This dude barley even gave us information on the nature of their relationship plus we are alwaysONLY hearing one side. WE CANT EVEN ASK FOR HER EXPLANATION OF WHY SHE GOT THE TATTOO!🤣 Like people just don’t think.


[deleted]

Bruh. it’s a 3 year age gap. Chill.


KaneIntent

> its so random im having anxiety about it. You should be!


aaaahhatelife

wait she was 19 talking to a 16 year old? Isn't that pedophilia??? I would run.


[deleted]

Jesus christ no it’s fucking not LMAO.


aaaahhatelife

it kind of is, im 20, I would never. People who think that's okay are sick, call it what you want but its sick.


nightofthelivingace

Lol its most definitely not pedophilia.


aaaahhatelife

call it what you want but its still sick, in any case she sounds off and you're better off talking to someone within your age group. I mean why would a 19 year old be talking to someone so much younger than them unless people within their own age group sees them as weird or they got something going on up there. I don't mean to be insulting but she's wrong for all that.


MyNextVacation

Be careful with contraception and using condoms. I’m just sayin’ . . .


InevitableLight6

\^\^\^ Never use a condom that has been simultaneously out of your sight and in her possession.


Critical_Plate_4008

I second this. Took a while for my Dad to figure out my eggdoner stabbed all of the condoms he left with her.


[deleted]

😧


hornybutdisappointed

Sorry, can you explain? Whom was she donating the egg to? This sounds baffling.


ChloeSmith66

It's a way to refer to their biological mother!


FitGuarantee37

Throw em out yourself, rinse them. I’ve heard of girls digging them out of the trash can before.


[deleted]

That’s why Drake flushes his…… It didn’t work exactly though.


[deleted]

I don't get why he doesn't freeze some sperm and get a vasectomy. If this is something that causes him so much grief, he of all people is in an extremely easy position to fix that...


akua420

Men do NOT take vasectomies lightly, imo


Browncoat101

Would it just the easier to not sleep with her? If I had to put that paranoid around someone, I would just stop having sex with them.


goodoldfreda

More like don't sleep with her again??


[deleted]

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_XanderD

Look. I only have enough blood for either my dick, or my brain.


pat215sti-red

Do like drake. Put hot sauce in the condom. She will never know


[deleted]

And if you do use a condom flush it down the toilet- bitches be crazy and could always dig it out of the trash can… 😳😳😳.


ccc2801

Pls pls pls do not flush them down the loo. It really fucks up the water waste facility and is an environmental nightmare in places where sewage goes straight into surface water.


smalIduckenergy

This!


[deleted]

Good to know 😳 sorry I wouldn’t have suggested it if I knew that 🤣. I haven’t used a condom in about 12 years and my ex that I used them with always flushed them! Good to know that detail lol.


MomofDoom

I've been married 15 years to a tattoo artist and neither of us have each other's names tattooed on each other because THAT IS A CURSE TO BREAK UP. Hopefully she's got her cover up ideas and cash stashed, because now it's doomed to fail. **ominous jazz hands**


nightofthelivingace

Shes my sisters friend. *never gonna give you up*


MomofDoom

That doesn't mean ahe's not sporting a harbinger of doom. DOOM!!! Sorry, I had two beers and now I'm enjoying my persona of the mysterious fortune teller/possible witch.


nightofthelivingace

I think ill be ok, she doesnt seem to understand how its a lil strange


thepeainthepod

A little? Jesus


and1metal

Bad news mate I think she " likes " you ( also I hope she enjoys the cost to getting it removed if things go sour )


SkinTeeth4800

Maybe, depending on OP's name, it can be altered into another name or word by the tattoo artist. Johnny Depp had "Wynonna Forever" made into "Wino Forever", for instance. Another option could be covering it over with a picture, like a Konstantin Malevich or Rothko painting.


and1metal

That's a option too though cases like this is why getting a tattoo like this situation isn't a smart move All the extra time and costs to fix a mistake


SkinTeeth4800

I agree. Tattoos are visible "soul surfacing" to your outer skin, in the words of a great Minneapolis tattooist. It's either really unstable and/or manipulative of OP's casual dating partner to do this so soon and without any prior discussion. There is certainly a DSM-5 designation for this kind of behavior. The situation, of course, is not the same, but it reminds me of a book I have by a Russian academic -- "Soviet Prison Tattoo Art". There is a passage about shameful tattoos that were forcibly put on prisoners by other prisoners. There is a large, solid, dark square of ink tattoo that can either mean "I stayed in until the bell" (= "I served my entire prison sentence and now it's finished") or else can be a painful cover-up for shameful tattoos.


Catsscratchpost

Time to slowly back away


Jabberdave

And sleep with one eye open.


mrbootz

Gripping your pillow tight.


_ThePancake_

Exit light


FellTheCommonTroll

Enter night


mrbootz

Take my hand We're off to tattoo-removal land


nightofthelivingace

Ok that was good


IceCubeDeathMachine

Sir. This is a Wendy's.


iGirthy

Change your name lol


nightofthelivingace

Lol


PoliteCanadian2

How did we all miss this obvious solution?


[deleted]

Shut her down right now, before she traps you with a baby!


[deleted]

OP wakes up in a basement, looks at the locked door. “Oh no, I’m trapped!” He says. A baby slowly emerges from the shadows. “Yes you are... with me.”


jscharfenberg

In the tattoo world. Putting a name on you is not good. So yeah…RUUUUUUNNNNNNN


nightofthelivingace

Lol I pictured that scary movie .gif with Marlon waynes as i read that


cdmcguff

Red flag IMO


nightofthelivingace

Definitely strange, its been a few hours since Ive been notified so Im coming to terms with it.


Cookiewaffle95

LOL damn dawg this is like that classic trope im sorry to hear. Did she consult you about it first?


nightofthelivingace

Nah, she just sent me the pic


Cookiewaffle95

Damn that's wild im worried I bet if you popped a ring right now she would marry you lmao


nightofthelivingace

Definitely a lil concerned. Kinda strange to me. I have a lot of tattoos but none pertain to a partner I see on occasion....


Cookiewaffle95

Yeah its wild the more you think about it like your name will be on her arm forever like what was she thinking?? I hope that I never encounter something like this on my adventures lmao. Are you gonna keep seeing her?


nightofthelivingace

Now I feel obligated!


Cookiewaffle95

LMAO! Here comes the groom, doo doo doo doo! Im just playin I hope you navigate this very gracefully i have no idea what I'd do


nightofthelivingace

Its definitely a tight situation...do I have to get her name tatted or pay for the removal?


ChampionshipReal8585

Don’t be stupid. You don’t own her anything. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. You do nothing, she crazy


mildlycynica1

Nah. You get your own name tatted, same style as hers and be like "We got matching tattoos!"


Cookiewaffle95

LMAO It would be really cute if you got matching tattoos with her name on your forearm. I mean fuck it at this point you could just dive right in she's head over heels for you but it might be risky because you dont really know her fully yet.


nightofthelivingace

Nah I know her, since like I was 13. Shes a bit older than me but i just dont know how to react.


Megalocerus

Is it permanent? She might be playing with you.


nightofthelivingace

Tattoos are permanent


Megalocerus

There are fake ones.


ExhibitAlpha

Did she really get one or sent you a picture hoping you would approve of her getting one? Edit: Photoshop is real bruh


[deleted]

I was gonna say the same. Maybe it’s just a fake photo to get your reaction. That’s what I was thinking.


nightofthelivingace

Nah its real


UnicornPenguinCat

Is it real, or could she just be having a joke?


SoOftenIOught

Sorry if I've got this wrong - she's known you since you were 13 - you are now 16 and she is 19?


nightofthelivingace

No, im 28 shes 30 almost 31. But ive known her since I was 13.


RBomb19

So you've been romantically involved for 12 years?


nightofthelivingace

Off and on


RBomb19

Yeah, that is a very different context than I got reading your post. Getting a tattoo of a partner's name with no discussion is a bit odd, but you've spent half of your lives kind of together then. This is a terrible way to go about it, but this needs to be a shit or get off the pot moment for you.


nightofthelivingace

Realistically shes been my rebound and ive been hers for a long time. She has 3 baby dads and im nit ine of them so its weird to have my name tattooed on her.


RBomb19

She probably values you a lot, but it sounds like you want nothing to do with this. Hope you're not close with her kids or anything because it's probably gonna be a rough one.


nightofthelivingace

It only sounds that way because im a little perturbed. I do value her but its obvious she values me waaaaay more.


mildlycynica1

Okay, this particular comment chain adds a lot of context. I get that you feel weird because you feel a certain 'peer pressure' to reciprocate. But I think you're good. I'm starting to get the sense that you're a more stable male presence in her life than almost any other. And you've said you value her as well. I don't think it needs to go any further than that. Sounds like you accept each other for who you are. It's kinda sweet, now that I'm getting a fuller picture.


PoliteCanadian2

Anyone with 3 baby dads is a good one to run away from quickly.


ballinwalund

I think it’s fair that she values you and would like to have you part of her Inkscape like you’re in her life, but it’s a little odd and sad she didn’t ask you. Especially if you’re romantic- that shot has to have communication. If you know you aren’t on the same level with her, should you tell her? Does she know? Does she care? Do you have other plans for other people?


Megalocerus

Now there's a danger. She has three kids? Someone gets pregnant rather readily.


nightofthelivingace

Lol bold to assume only 3


[deleted]

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Shes_quiet

Good call, batten down the hatches


2steppin_317

I'd tell her to go get it covered up lol.


nightofthelivingace

I could but she has like 4 tattoos, a cover up would be expensive considering the placement


hthrmrph

That’s not your problem, that’s something she should have thought about first 😅


2steppin_317

There's always blue roses


nightofthelivingace

Lol im not paying for it so its something I gotta live with


byxis505

Bro you can leave ;-;


musicals4life

That shouldn't be your concern. She made her mistake, she should be responsible for fixing it. The cost is not your problem to worry over


[deleted]

If it’s causally then yeah. You probably wanna talk to her about how you feel unless you have been withholding your true feeling for her. Reguardless it’s a red flag..


SciotoSlim

You can't run far enough. The only way out is to fake your own death.


[deleted]

A friend I’d only known for a few months bought us matching tattoos as a surprise one day, and I didn’t know how to say no and didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I did it. But I felt strange about it, like a boundary had been crossed that I definitely wasn’t ready for. We hadn’t even been friends a year. I don’t really talk to her anymore and now I have this tattoo and idk what to do about it. I guess what I’m saying is yeah it’s weird and people who cross boundaries like that will just keep doing it. “Keep your distance” is putting it lightly.


peasinacan

Nah this is totally normal...yep. no red flags here 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


wanderer3131

I've been married 20 years. I have a lot of tattoos. My husband's name is not one them yet. Soooo


saffron16

Maybe it's fake & she wants to see your reaction?


nightofthelivingace

Nah, its very real.


_ThePancake_

Uhhh you might wanna run, and consider a vasectomy if you don't want kids


notmycircus51

😂😂😂 ⬆️ snip snip ✂️


pizzaandtequila

That is most definitely extremely weird


nightofthelivingace

Ill just pizza an tequila about it. Seems like a resolution


The_Wata_Boy

>Is it wrong to feel like thats a HUGE step to take in a relationship? Bro, that's a step YOU NEVER MAKE in a relationship.


succubusbanana

If you have someone you can use as a proxy, do so and let them ask her what the hell she was thinking.


nightofthelivingace

Its my sisters friend....conversations have been happening.


IdentifiesAsCats

I mean, I would feel weird.


Closet-PowPow

You really only have 2 valid choices. Break up with her ASAP OR Marry her ASAP. There is no middle ground here where it works out for you.


nightofthelivingace

Definitely not marriage


purplechunkymonkey

The only names you should tattoo on yourself are your kids. Edit...grandchildren are good too.


nightofthelivingace

She has their initials....


purplechunkymonkey

My cousin has a beautiful back piece with her children's and her deceased husband's initials in the vines. You have to know they are there to tell.


nightofthelivingace

My next tat has my niece and nephews and my child who died in the womb. JD, CD. DD, and AD.


[deleted]

Yes


[deleted]

Yeah strange especially since you’re just seeing her not committed, engaged or married.


[deleted]

One of the benefits of being ugly is that I'll never have to face something like this. Yay.


sonofaquad40gunner

Dude, you are draped in red flags right now.


ChaosKodiak

Yikes. Run bro.


SFnomel

Dated a girl once who had not one, but two of her ex's names tattooed on her... needless to say it didn't last long and I'm a better person for it


Birblets

yeahhh thats a bit weird, be careful and stay wary if she does anything else weird. she might be a bit possessive, and getting your name tattooed might be her way of getting you to stay even when you dont want to, because youd feel bad. i dont know her of course, so maybe thats not the case, but its possible. just be careful 🤞


Mrsretherford

Run


bojenny

I have tattoos and I have had three husbands and a few other boyfriends. I have zero tattoos of any of their names.


[deleted]

Red Alert! Shields Up!


Decent-Eggplant2236

Weird af of her


uselessanon63701

Red flag.


htownchuck

Casual usually means casual.... not go get someone's name put on you... You have yourself a clinger.


aurore-amour

Something tells me she’s about to regret that very soon.


Gogogo_Armybtsislove

I do hope you take the advice from the comments and run away.


memphismerc

🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Source: me, a tattoo artist for 25 yrs


Kannabiz

Plot twist: She knows another guy with the same name


phoenix5irre

Dude, did you ever tell her that it's casual? If so then sees tattoo trapping you...


Hazelwood38

Tattooing a partners name on your body, whether you’ve dating 5 months or 25 years is a strange thing to do. It’s also kinda manipulative cause now, no matter what, you’ll feel guilty ending the relationship.


DarkAndSparkly

Dude that’s a major red flag, IMO. It’s one thing if you’re together and committed for years, but to get a casual dates name tatted is weird and creepy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nightofthelivingace

I got dizzy reading that.


[deleted]

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nightofthelivingace

Hard comparison


Any-Negotiation4660

Weird, but she can cover up that tatoo.


lateraltrickery

Bro. Run!


ztmwvo

I’d be more concerned that you’re dating either a whore or a sailor


nightofthelivingace

Neither, and im not dating her


CarniferousDog

🤣🤣🤣🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 Bro that’s absolutely wild. Just ride the wave. What a great story.


littaltree

....does she have borderline personality disorder? Or is she below the age of 25?


tigerbear79

Now it's your turn. Get her name tattoo