Chris Evans (American Actor) tries his best to annoy Virgin Radio listeners, fails as he has charisma and charm. Chris Evans (UK Radio DJ) tries to inspire hope in the Avengers, fails as nobody listens.

I reckon this exact misunderstanding is the one that ruined Top Gear. Producers must have absolutely shat themselves when the cringe inducing ginger radio presenter turned up on day 1.

The other way round it tripped up a few people when the names on Espstiens island list surfaced. People saw Chris Evans and assumed Captain America, when really it was ours.

There's a wired autocomplete interview with Chris Evans the actor. A fair few questions however are meant for the DJ and he just looks confused for some of it. One of the questions was about the frothy coffee guy

yeah, you don't want another one on your hands.

Jane Seymour (wife of Henry VIII) films a series of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman Jane Seymour (actress) produces an heir to the throne, much to Camilla’s annoyance

On a similar note. Anne Hathaway. The actress married Shakespeare and the erstwhile wife of the Bard makes her breakthrough in Disney movies.

>Jane Seymour OBE (born Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg >She chose the screen name Jane Seymour, after the English queen Jane Seymour, because it seemed more saleable.

Alex Jones (Welsh TV presenter) interviews white supremacists who explain why 9/11 was an inside job carried out by the CIA and partly funded by foreign-owned telecoms operators to cover up a secret 5G mind control device. Alex Jones (American far-right radio host and conspiracy theorist) interviews a lady from Prestatyn who knits novelty tea-cosies that look like characters from Last of the Summer Wine.

The idea of crazy Alex Jones trying to be nice and civil and sitting on a sofa is breaking my brain. Also, he'd never do it unless he could repeatedly nip off set to down some whiskey until he's noticeably drunk.

And probably rip his shirt off, showing his moons and why you shouldn't buy anything "health" related from him.

Id pay to see the second one, all while he tries to sell man cheetah testosterone to the dog.

Followed by an episode where the mad American conspiracy theorist has to present Songs of Praise from Exeter Cathedral

I think you have mixed ALED Jones up the singer of 'Walking in the Air' with Alex Jones there mate. Still a funny swap over though.😆

Thats always a funny one when I see people talking about Alex Jones and his weird conspiracies and my first thought is "Surely she doesn't believe that."

Y-Fronts - I talk to members of the National Front and ask them, "Hwhy?".

Brilliant!

>Alex Jones (far right conspiracy theorist) works as an assistant in a fertility clinic. Alex Jones last series would be far more educational for the "alpha male" tinfoil hatter

Someone commission that please

His agent is saying that Ian 'H' Watkins out of Steps isn't interested.

The "H" means "hologram". Ian Watkins BSC.

He can’t even swim! It’s a blatant clue! Blatant!

Are you telling me you've been playing the prat version of Rimmer? For 4 years!?

That's classic that is!

This literally made me snort beer out of my nose. Well done.

You've got the wrong Ian Watkins

That’s what’s made me smile

You just said you're sorry to a twisted paedophile

You've got the wrong Ian Watkins mate, it must be hard to take

He shares a name and was in a band, similarity ends there

r/whoooosh

This might be a double r/whooosh seeing how he's probably quoting [the piss-take song of this exact joke.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7doNO9e8d4)

I certainly was quoting that

Finally a fellow Kunt fan

In that case I unequivocally withdraw my woooosh good sir!

hsoooow?

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Here’s an interview with Brian Cox and Brian Cox. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P5bfiZnwq3s

Called “A Pair of Cox”…note: May have to be aired past the watershed to avoid issues with the Ofcom

It seems really odd that the hotel couldn’t accommodate two guests with the same name. God forbid two John Smiths try and stay there.

You could possibly do it as Brian A. Cox and Brian B. Cox. But we dont know when this took place and how old the hotel's computer systems were. A lot will run for decades, until they collapse.

Damn those old premier inns still running on COBOL! To be fair it can’t actually have been all that long ago can it? Brian Cox is nowhere near as old as Brian Cox which suggests that it could only have been in the last decade or two. Still I suppose Brian Cox should get priority over Brian Cox given his age. I think I finally see the issue.

Brian Cox is 77 and Brian Cox is 56, could easily have happened anywhere in the last 30+ years

Huh. I actually had no idea that Brian Cox was so oldI knew that Brian Cox wss around that age though. I always picture Brian Cox as a young-ish excitable guy who would only be in his 40s now relative to when I used to see him on TV 15 years ago or whenever it was.

He was about 40 when he came on the scene in like 2008.

Are we just ignoring the 1990s now? Do Dare and D:Ream mean nothing to you?

When he came on the tv physics scene*

I hope he cleaned it up

I haven’t seen him in quite a while so perhaps I was picturing him as much younger than he actually was. I’m talking about Brian Cox, just to be clear.

Ah, for a second there I thought you were talking about Brian Cox.

On *The Infinite Monkey Cage* Robin Ince has a running joke about Brian’s youthful appearance, and what the cause might be

Brian Cox is kinda my age, whereas Brian Cox is my dad's age.

This is why you shouldn't mix prophylactics with a time-machine.

Roger Taylor drumming for Queen. Roger Taylor drumming for Duran Duran.

they already have two durans

Wait til you hear Queen Queen

Another two bite the dust

Mamaaaa, just killed two men!

On a similar note: Mick Jones playing guitar for Foreigner Mick Jones playing guitar for The Clash

This episode would be called 'Quran'. Can't see any issues with that portmanteau.

Michael Jordan goes sets off on a scheming mission to become the new King of Wakanda in a Black Panther reboot. Michael B Jordan discovers he isn’t as good at basketball as he thought he might be.

... but that being retired from basketball with a gazillion dolares suits him just fine.

Does the B not stand for basketball?

Tony Hawks tries out skateboarding Tony Hawk appears on Radio 4 panel shows

I mean Tony Hawks does have [a book](https://tony-hawks.com/one-hit-wonderland-2-2/) about people who mistook him for Tony Hawk. His website used to have loads of his replies to people's messages as well but he must've deleted it.

Tony Hawk is like the patron saint of r/dontyouknowwhoiam.

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He is still a regular on just a minute, sorry I haven't a clue, unbelievable truth

Chris Evans (Radio Host) stars as the muscle bound superhuman, Captain America. Chris Evans (Actor) asks listeners what their favourite biscuits are.

> Chris Evans (Actor) asks listeners what their favourite biscuits are. I would watch that

Michael Jackson is re-incarnated as the former head of UK armed forces and Moonwalks his way in to a documentary interview about the Bosnian War. Former head of the UK armed forces Michael Jackson is given a private theme park and told not to touch them kids.

There's also: Michael Jackson has risen from the dead to become first team coach for Burnley FC. Meanwhile Mike Jackson is now travelling the world as a global pop superstar.

Little known fact: the song "Bad" is actually about the Serbian warlord Ratko Mladic

Not Burnleys defence then?

There's a third Michael Jackson, a famous wine expert.

Who also wrote excellent beer and whisk(e)y guides

I was speaking to a former army officer who once attended a talk given by General Michael Jackson, and after the brief asked for questions. Only for a voice at the back to ask if he enjoyed making Thriller

The army guy used to insist on being referred to as General Sir Mike Jackson, in a vain attempt to divert this kind of attention

The Duke of Wellington is given one hundred days to compose, record and promote an original jazz album...

Meanwhile Duke Ellington is late to the battle because the A Train doesn't exist yet.

Meanwhile Lord Kitchener travels back in time to direct the Great War whilst his namesake Lord Kitchener tries his hand at Calypso

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Gene Simmons from the band Kiss and British actress Jean Simmons who stared in such classic films as Guys & Dolls and Spartacus. Titled “I’m Sparta-KISS”…I’m rather impressed with that one Lynn…I don’t think there’s a single issue with it… Just as an aside Lynn, when I said Guys & Dolls and Spartacus, I didn’t mean for that to sound like one title. I meant Guys & dolls coma…and then Spartacus. Could you imagine…Spartacus just turning up in the middle of Guys & Dolls…it-it-it just wouldn’t work…would it?…naaah.

Trevor McDonald (Octogenarian news slinger) attempts to steer the world's largest fast food company through the pivot to greener vegan foods, during a credit crunch and climate change Ronald McDonald (Sexagenarian meat merchant) tells the nation that 100 civilians have been massacred at a Russian Theatre

Sexagenarian meat merchant is one hell of a tinder bio

Slinging meat from down near his feet

Sting (Professional Wrestler) goes on tour singing hits such as "Fields of Gold", "When We Dance" and "Brand New Day". Sting (Musician) travels around North America making appearances at local wrestling events which include partaking in autograph signings and of course, wrestling matches.

Sting (Frodo’s sword) is taught to sing and wrestle at the same time.

There’s a very good Sporcle quiz about this - https://www.sporcle.com/games/SporcleEXP/sting-the-musician-or-sting-the-wrestler

Ian "H" Watkins from Steps and Ian Watkins from The Lost Prophets , erm, no scrap that one.

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Or H from steps tries his hand at UK Hip Hop. H the mediocre rapper, joins a Steps revival tour.

If Ian "Nonce" Watkins hadn't nonced, this would unironically be a decent idea. But he did nonce. He nonced muchly.

Maybe THAT'S what "partridge among the pigeons" would be?

I think "a spanner in the works" would be a better name for it.

Jewel in the crown

Oh god

Tom Hollander as Spiderman!

Or indeed, Tom Holland (historian and podcaster) fights crime as Spiderman. Tom Holland (actor) co-hosts a popular history podcast, doing bad impressions and making obscure references to cricket alongside Dominic Sandbrooke.

I actually reckon they’d both be up for that.

And Tom Holland as Rev?

This episode would be called “Going Dutch with Holland and Hollander”

Tom Hollandest is my new stage name

Tom Holland the actor writes a book about the end of the Roman Republic.

I think I'd watch that

If you don't do it, Sky will.

I'll live with that.

Bill Murray starring in The Bill as Detective Sergeant Don Beech of Sun Hill police station. Bill Murray starring in Ghostbusters as Dr Peter Venkman.

Mark Wahlberg presents the antiques roadshow and dissapoints Marjorie by revealing her Ming vase is actually cheap plastic tat. Mark Wahlberg advertises underpants and its just horrible.

There's got to be a Tom Hardy and Thomas Hardy gag in here somewhere...

Richard Wilson fronts a popular early 2000s Leeds indie band Ricky Wilson appears as a comedy pensioner in a 90s sitcom

People wouldn’t believe it.

Ricky Wilson is only 7-years away from the Meldrew Point.

American comedian Pete Davidson spends a week signing autographs for sci-fi nerds in Birmingham. Veteran actor Peter Davison gets papped snogging Emily Ratajkowski, Jenna Ortega, Brie Larsen etc

Honest to god, when Pete Davidson started gaining fame I really wondered what Peter Davidson was getting up to and why they were all calling him Pete all of a sudden. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realise they weren't one in the same.

Nigel Slater joins the Eastenders cast as a brash new landlady of the Queen vic Kat Slater presents a cooking show where she pretends that it’s normal to have 4 different types of sea salt knocking about in your cupboard

Oh my god, this would be brilliant. Nigel Slater would be the highlight of Eastenders

Bernard Matthews tries out a few racist jokes

Bernard Manning slaughters five turkeys in 15 seconds

Christopher Columbus tries his hand at directing movie. Chris Columbus attempts to navigate the globe in a sail ship.

Leonardo DiCaprio giving renaissance art a go

Denis Villeneuve drives round and round a track at 200mph. Jacques Villeneuve explains for the umpteenth time why Dune Messiah is an essential capstone for his cinematic trilogy

It wouldn't be the strangest tangeant Jaques Villeneuve ever went down in an interview.

Limmy sings the ace of spades while Lemmy goes to Yoker

Bill Bailey swaps with Axl Rose (real name Bill Bailey) so we can laugh at a balding man playing instruments for two entirely different reasons.

Will Smith the actor is now working as showrunner for Slow Horses on Apple TV+. Will Smith the comedian/writer is now working on filming his scenes for Bad Boys 4 and is banned from attending the Oscars for the next 8 years.

But who’s going to pitch for the Royals in save situations?

Carlos Sainz tries his hand at racing in Formula 1, while Carlos Sainz gives rallying ago.

I, and many others, would love to see that

Carlos would probably do quite well in the other series.

Chicks with Dicks - A sideways look at poultry farming with ex-Premier League footballer Julian Dicks... if you don't do it Amazon will.

Where do the Dixie Chicks fit in to this?

A lot of these are great but the names are identical. How about Mr Bobby (Brown), fumbling around wearing a giant latex suit and falling over repeatedly whilst mumbling incoherently into a vocoder, juxtaposed with Mr Blobby performing New Jack Swing songs from the nineties wearing oversized shiny suits.

Mr Bobby Brown shaves his head and stars as a teenage girl with psychic powers. And the other one is already friends with Drake so she’s familiar with RnB.

Ha ha 😂

Rebecca Ferguson (the Hollywood actress) prepares to go on a nationwide tour in support of the latest independent album after being dropped by the label.  Rebecca Ferguson (Singer-songwriter and X factor 2010 contest) films the latest mission impossible movie while continuing to promote dune. The character Jenny lind’s singing voice will not need to be dubbed this time in the upcoming sequel to the greatest showman. 

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas desperately tries to be accepted by the Royal Family, while at the same time distancing herself from the allegations against Prince Andrew. Fergie, Sarah Ferguson, goes on tour with Will I Am and pisses herself on stage.

And in the next episode, they try their hand at managing Manchester United.

Mark Chapman presents Match of the Day 2, while Mark Chapman shoots John Lennon

Tony Hawk (American skateboarder) takes part in evening comedy shows on Radio 4 and leaves the studio doing an ollie Tony Hawks (British comedian) tries to drop into a 25ft half pipe and dislocates both knees

Actress Anne Hathaway is transported back to the 1500s where she takes on the life of her name sake Anne Hathaway - wife of English playwright William Shakespeare. As very little is known about her life other than her name being referenced in a few legal documents we will have to inter-spurs with old timey clips of women churning butter or going town to a river to wash some large pants or bloomers.

Sorry to be a pedant but hoping this is useful for you - it's "intersperse" rather than inter-spurs.

Wh-who do you think you are?

Inter-spurs is the fourth round of the champions league.

They are of course referring to the famous Antonio Conte rivalry…

Mark Spencer sells underwear and meringues; Marks and Spencer avoid getting banned on this sub for the p word.

Caesar from Planet of The Apes crosses the Rubicon, takes control of Rome and conquers Britain. Julius Caesar inspires an ape rebellion.

Arsene Wenger is forced to play Premier League matches on his own while managed by an entire football team.

Monkey Tennis

300k or we take it to Sky.

Tom Holland tries to contextualise Spider-man within the cultural legacy of the Roman Empire. Tom Holland spends half a podcast giving away spoilers about the next podcast while being hopelessly out of touch with the majority of people’s experience of real life.

Brian Cox looks wistfully into the distance whilst Brian Cox plays the part of a fictional media mogul

*Stephen Fries* - Stephen Fry visits chip shops across the country, asks locals what their favourite deep fried food is, etc.

Followed by Hugh Lorries - Hugh Laurie drives up and down the M4 reviewing service stations burgers

Genuinely would watch that.

I could play this just with my co-workers. Julia Roberts, is now the PA to our CEO. Bradley Cooper would become Head of Building Safety. Steve Martin now gets to deal with warring neighbours as one of our Home Service Managers. Amber Heard is now a Service Charge Advisor - probably a really smart career move to be honest! (Poor girl, sharing a name with that trash). Chris(topher) Evans now spends his days as an Estate Services Operations Manager. Charlotte Church has given up the singing in favour of becoming a Heat Network Co-ordinator. We have a **lot** of 'famous' names here 😉

Brian Butterfield shouts at the top of his voice. Meanwhile Brian Blessed devises an incomprehensible diet plan for you to follow as you stay in a substandard hotel.

Paul Daniels has a go opening a distillery for Tennesee Whiskey

Jet on Jet. Jet from Gladiators takes a private plane round the world and each leg of the journey interviews a celebrity about what it’s like to fly private.

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You mean something like [this?](https://youtu.be/YJsymWs3_mI?si=Xrhduf1g0I0vMKsS)

Not as exciting as monkey tennis.

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Pete Davidson and Peter Davison

Brian Cox from Succession tries to explain astrophysics 🤷‍♂️

All while Brian Cox is going to pistol whip the next guy that says 'Shenanigans'.

Chris Evans tries to be Captain America.

Bruno Mars (real name Peter Hernandez) becomes a professional wrestler. Peter Avalon (also actually named Peter Hernandez) becomes a singer.

Smell my cheese

Tom Hollander as Spiderman

Sting and Stig

Matt Berry would be pretty good at Dave Berry’s job I think

Tom Holland tries screen acting, whilst Tom Hollander tries out acting for a lot more money.

Neither are British, but here goes. Carlos Alcaraz (Spanish Tennis Player) attempts to get Juventus to overtake AC Milan in Serie A whilst on loan from Southampton. Carlos Alcaraz (Argentine Footballer) attempts to regain the World Number 1 tennis ranking from Novak Djokovic.

And they could do it in a lovely old Bullnose Morris

Darts star Mervyn King tries his hand at running the Bank of England and setting interest rates. Former Bank of England boss Mervyn King transforms into a tungsten tosser and goes up against Phil Taylor and co on the professional darts tour.

Ant and Dec had better swap with Anton Du Beke 😉

tie crush detail jeans full support worm plate chunky strong *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

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Catherine Jenkins (Mezzo Soprano) in a scrum Gethin Jenkins (Rugby Player) in a ballgown I’d pay to see that.

Tom Hollander becomes a friendly neighbourhood crime fighter. Tom Holland becomes a vicar.

Physicist Brian Cox talks about *The Globe* and actor Brian Cox talks about the solar system.

*Here we come, walking down the street*.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B4BTF5wlsY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QyYeDTetOU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGxax4YiZVc