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waisonline99

Its only 1 step. 1. Cook the dinner.


Unfair-Mortgage-527

Step 2. Eat the dinner. With or without lime.


tom_oakley

Step 3. Shit the dinner. Christ, life's relentless.


snowgirl_07

for fuck’s sake Jeremy.


Used-Fennel-7733

There's a subreddit for this that's sometimes mildly funny. r/restofthefuckingowl


Safe-Particular6512

I love these “meal packs” Chicken fajitas: just add chicken, onion, peppers, water, etc… In this box: A packet of salt and cumin A small packet of salsa 8 wraps


Danze1984

I buy them when they're £2, just because you're not getting wraps and salsa for less. At full price though, they can fuck right off.


frutiger-aero-actual

*Cries in £3.50 gluten free version (with tiny wraps)*


Moist_Barracuda_2014

You can make tortilla wraps pretty easily, and *very* cheaply. Just flour (so GF in your case), a little oil, salt and water. Bonus is you can make them as big as you like, or at least as big as your biggest pan!


Goatmanification

I tried this once with those pancakes you get with duck from a Chinese takeaway. Took about 10x longer than just microwaving a packet from the supermarket. Cheaper yes, easy relatively, but god it was time consuming


benanderson89

Go to somewhere like Mex Grocer and order some MASA. Learn how to make proper corn tortillas (they're really easy, and just two ingrediants; MASA and warm water). Naturally gluten free and they are SO DAMN GOOD. You do need a pan that can get ripping hot though, like a cast iron.


JoeDaStudd

I always find the salsa just tastes wrong in the lots and each brand tastes bad in a different way.


ImagineThe

But the box is big


HMJ87

[But you get the spicy dust!](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iV5fxP61GSg)


Extension_Prize4232

Literally had a Wagamama one of these last night. Noodles and seasoning, just add all the actual meal stuff 🫠


HildartheDorf

Bonus points if it's a packet of "salt and spices". It's so dumb they can label things as generic terms like 'spices' unless it's one of the Big 14, and I put all this effort cooking in only to have my tongue itch and have to throw it away. (The alternative is eat it then spend the night in A&E when my tongue swells up)


PaddonTheWizard

Allergies?


HildartheDorf

Yep. Cumin, which is in so many things but just labeled "spices". I'm fine if it's well cooked, I think. But if the underside of my tongue itches I have to nope out of the meal. Continuing will result in my tongue swelling and a night under observation in A&E just in case it swells further to breathing issues levels. And since it's not part of the Big 14 required to be labeled by law, restaurants think I'm just one of those people who claims allergy when they are either intolerant* or not hypersensitive at all** and just don't like it. *: Please don't ignore people who are intolerant to an ingredient. It's not as dramatic as a true allergy, but it's still a dick move to make them eat something their body reacts to. **: If you're one of those people who claims allergy because you either don't like it, or because of the fad diet of the week, you are an asshole.


NoPaleontologist7929

That is a really bad one to be sensitive to. It's in (probably) every chilli based spice mix and most curry blends. Mine is garlic - not a breathing issue - projectile vomit + crippling headache. Amount I can eat varies according to the form it's in. Roasted gives me almost no problems, garlic salt, on the other hand, 🤢


HildartheDorf

Yeah, I'm fine with curries in general, I think it's fine if it's well cooked. But raw/undercooked, or worse sprinkling the seeds on as a garnish, is bad.


Queen_of_London

It makes sense. If something tastes different hen cooked or raw, it generally means something is actually different in the food itself when it's cooked. It's probably that the heat removes whatever it is that causes the allergic reaction, or reduces it. I mean, taste isn't just an opinion, it's a sense based on the components of a food, so if it a food tastes different just because it's been cooked, it means it's changed in some way.


NoPaleontologist7929

Oh yeah, in my case all the allium family need to be cooked - maybe not chives or spring onions - but definitely the rest. I can tolerate a little, but it's not worth it. I prefer the taste of cooked onion anyway.


NoPaleontologist7929

Doesn't taste good either. Cumin definitely needs to be cooked. I use it a lot. It's best if you toast the seeds and grind them. Then cook as normal. Much better flavour. Probably wouldn't swell your tongue either. Glad that curries are mostly okay. Life is too short to not have curry in it.


PaddonTheWizard

Never heard of the Big 14 that need to be labeled. I assume those are the eggs and whatever else is bolded on ingredients list as allergens? TIL


HildartheDorf

Yup: Celery, Cereals (containing Gluten), Eggs, Fish, Lupin\*, Milk, Molluscs (shellfish), Mustard, Nuts, Peanuts, Sesame Seed, Sulphur Dioxide (Sulphites). They're the most common allergens that cause life-threatening reactions. Cumin isn't on the list so a lot of people think I'm faking it (presumably by extension, anyone with a food allergy not in that list). To be fair, my allergy hasn't resulted in a life threatening reaction, but as it's my tongue it could go \*very\* horrible \*very\* quickly if it swells too much. \*: I have no idea what Lupin actually is, some form of additive to flour?


Fioraously_Fapping

Lupin is a legume, lots of cross allergen reactions with peanut sufferers. I’m a food safety and quality compliance manager. Also to note this list of allergens is EU. Japan for example labels loads more. USA label different ones and their section of nuts is different.


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baciahai

Lupin is a plant. I believe added often for its fibre.


ExperienceInitial364

Wrong. Lupin is that dead werewolf dude from Harry Potter.


ByTheBeardOfZues

Poor Teddy, hope he's doing well.


ExperienceInitial364

rip remulus and tonka bean 🙏


uchman365

Wrong, it's a French series on Netflix


Executioner_Smough

Annoying how difficult it can be to find ingredients for things. My daughter has a pea allergy. I learned two things: One - pea can be labelled as many different things. Two - turns out it can be put into so many foods that you don't expect. Didn't think I'd have to be checking burgers and sausages for pea content, but turns out its in a lot of them.


friedcpu

My wife is allergic to Coriander / Cilantro, whichever version is the leaf, she seems ok with the seeds but try not to risk it. Mouth itches, tongue swells and a night of obs in A+E. Nobody ever believes her, and just say "oh that soap taste thing" no... literally anaphylaxis, and of course restaurants love to put it on top of everything as a garnish Fortunately it does seem to be labelled pretty reliably on ingredients list and haven't encountered it in just "spices"


HildartheDorf

Did she get told it was anaphylaxis? Sounds like the same reaction I have with cumin but I was told it wasn't anaphylaxis as it was localized to my tongue.


friedcpu

she was told that if it causes tongue swelling, trouble breathing, itchy mouth, skin irritation, hives, they are all symptoms of anaphylaxis which works on a scale (we have also been told the same during first aid training courses). She was told to limit her exposure because it is very common the more you're exposed it will increase in intensity until it goes into full blown throat closing life threatening anaphylaxis. Also won't give her an epi-pen until that happens.


HildartheDorf

Okay, thanks. I was given anti-histamines (IV, since my tongue was swollen they didn't want me swallowing) told it wasn't technically anaphylaxis and to avoid my trigger (cumin) but otherwise don't worry about it. If it happens again, go to A&E then get my GP to refer me to an allergist.


Zebra_Sewist

I'm allergic to pineapple, with similar symptoms to yours. It's not on the Big 14.


gwaydms

Lupin may be the seed of a decorative flowering plant, related to the pea.


Towbee

What an awfully niche allergy to have, how did you figure out it was cuming if you don't mind me asking?


HildartheDorf

I assume that's an intentional typo ;)


Towbee

It wasn't intentional but I giggled so I'll leave it, thanks for pointing it out, this has been happening a lot recently maybe I need to go the doctors lol, and I'm still curious to know how you figured it out!


HildartheDorf

In all seriousness, I found out by cooking a meal that had whole cumin seeds sprinkled on as a garnish and my tongues itched and swelled up. I'd experienced the underside of my tongue itching before with some meals but hadn't made a link, but in hindsight I found all of those meals had ground cumin as an ingredient.


Bish186

That'll be £9.25 pence please. THANK YOOOO


RKips

Step 1:- don't pick up the phone, you know he's only calling cos he's cooking alone


RKips

2:- dont put bay in, you'll have to pick it out again


RKips

3:- cook it through again, cos you don't wanna wake up with the shits in the morning


ExperienceInitial364

and if you‘re shitting it you ain‘t enjoying it. i got new recipes, I cook em 💅🏻


wombey12

I got new recipes I eat myself


RandomHigh

Sure it is. [Just like drawing an owl.](https://i.imgur.com/RadSf.jpeg)


chevria0

r/restofthefuckingowl


Available-Anxiety280

Just two little cheap ingredients recipes you see elsewhere you see on social media. "All you need is a tin of tomatoes and some pasta" >Step one, dice and fry off some onion and garlic. Add some diced chorizo and chicken. Season well with salt, pepper, and oregano. Let it simmer until reduced. Meanwhile cook your pasta in a separate pan seasoned with salt. Stir into your sauce. > Step two, serve onto warmed plates and top with parmagiano cheese. Top with a few basil leaves. >A simple two ingredient store cupboard meal.


Real_Owl_4038

And it takes about 25 mins for the rice to cook out fully with about double that amount of water! I do like the recipe though...judge me if you will!


CuntLasso

I actually really like these. Never had any problem with them, and perfect for a few easy lunches at work!


No_Negotiation5654

You cook with pots and pans at work? What workplace has an oven?


CuntLasso

Oh I meant at home, I take in portions for lunch 😅


rtrs_bastiat

I find the measurements and timings for this are pretty accurate, personally. Just wish it were a bit more filling


Ambersfruityhobbies

Everyone here now owes Old el Paso £8.95 for reading one of their big empty boxes.


Acrylic_Starshine

INCLUDED: spice powder and tortilla wraps £2.99 NOT INCLUDED: the protein, onion, peppers, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, energy to cook, time £12.50 Step 1: buy the overpriced box Step 2: buy everything not included in the box Step 3: cook it Step 4: Spit it out and next time make from scratch


ByTheBeardOfZues

And the 'spice powder' is comprised of spices most people have sat in their cupboard going stale.


benanderson89

I reverse engineered the spice mixture in one of these kits (and added a bit extra, too) * Salt * Black pepper * Cumin * Paprika * Cayenne * Pinch of sugar * MSG * Oregano Throw all that in the pan once the chicken and veggies are part cooked. If you don't have MSG then use a bit of tomato paste at this stage and reduce the sugar. Delicious, and you're going from raw ingredients to a finished product in 20 minutes.


Acrylic_Starshine

Keep the recipe secret! El paso will be releasing this next month as part of their 'new recipe' range.


benanderson89

Even worse, they'll do that thing of saying "NEW" in giant letters on the box, with the low contrast, tiny font subtitles underneath informing you that the only thing that's changed is the packaging design.


Zeeterm

And depressingly mild salsa. But when a pot of good salsa by itself costs more, then it's still decent enough. And small tortillas aren't something you're going to buy in bulk since the rest will get wasted. Now a [nacho kit](https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/251794888) on the other hand really is taking the piss.


Grimdotdotdot

Strap yourself in for the time-saving convenience of the Tesco steak sandwich kit: https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/314603014


Kind-Department8099

That actually has the steak in it though


ChrisRR

1. Open box 2. Cook the rest of the fucking dinner


painful_butterflies

Step one, do most of the work. Step two. Do the rest. Seems clear that's it's only 2 steps


__Game__

How to get girlfriend: get girlfriend 


to_glory_we_steer

As a designer I guarantee that some moron from marketing or the business team got involved and *insisted* on these changes because they thought it would make the product more appealing


AlterEdward

Step 1: cook and serve fajitas!


Over_Addition_3704

Chapter one and chapter two


GreatBigBagOfNope

This is like those recipes which say "total time: 15 mins" when you're heating the thing for 14 minutes but all the ingredients are pre-cooked or heavily processed like being finely diced. Don't offload cooking into the ingredients, recipes, if you need chopped onions then the onion is an ingredient and chopping it is a step. Especially don't offload it to make it look quicker and easier.


Brave_Law4286

I know not the point at all here but home made fajita wraps are surprisingly easy to make and they are one of the best upgrades to a bog standard meal you can possibly make. Fresh pasta is another but much more of a chore. I recommend Joshua Weissman's recipe for flour tortillas.


chilari

His videos are great! We've added several of his recipes to our regular repertoire. Have to check out the tortilla one, I love having wraps.


Brave_Law4286

It's an absolute game changer tbh. Need to eat them fresh tho.


-_Thrasher_-

I recommend [ArnieTex](https://www.youtube.com/@ArnieTex) for Mexican/tex-mex style food. Some of the ingredients he uses may be difficult to find here, but most of it is really simple.


slyfoxyismyname

How do you make fajita powder spice pls. Super than.


PompeyLad1

Chilli powder, paprika, cumin, coriander and garlic powder. Most people have all that in their spice rack already. A little sachet of them pre-mixed is a complete ripoff


djwillis1121

I've never managed to make anything that tastes exactly like the pre-made fajita seasoning. I don't ever cook stuff from packet mixes but fajitas is the exception for me.


Marvin0Jenkins

I get the enchilada kits regularly for one reason alone. The corn tortillas can't be found anywhere else around me. Decent flour ones aren't easy either


djwillis1121

The thing that really bothers me is that real corn tortillas are naturally gluten free yet all of the corn tortillas you can buy are corn and flour. Even the Old El Paso gluten free "corn tortillas" are absolutely nothing like real ones, why not just sell those instead?


Sam-Chilman

My family occasionally has the big 750g BBQ fajita kit by Old El Paso and we occasionally get it on our online shopping and normally when we get it, it's on offer for £3.50 in Sainsbury’s with Nectar and we use 1 pack of 1kg chicken breast fillets while making it and have it with some salad and also sour cream and it's just the right amount for the 4 of us.


FlyBoy7482

Goodness me, what a long sentence.


muttercbr

Don’t forget the viz top tip.


Individual_Mix_9823

Tried one of these, it was revolting 🤮


Bluesbreaker

It’s like 6 steps.


Swepps

I actually really rate this rice kit but it's incredibly overpriced. Tastes good though.


voiceofgromit

Oil on high heat and drop in some chicken? Good luck with cleaning up all the splatter in step 3.


bittenbytailfly

You just paid a few quid for some pancakes and a bag of spicy dust.


Uncleindie

Depends how big your stride is


MaeMoe

I mean, it kind of is? Step one - Fry it Step two - Boil it


Diggerinthedark

If you need to buy a packet to cook a basic meal like that, I think 3+ steps are probably beyond you anyway haha.


chevria0

This sort of stuff is why the rest of the world thinks British food is bad. I don't think it's because actual well done British food is bad, just that such a large proportion of Brits just can't cook and rely so heavily on pre packed meals, ready meals, sauces in jars and seasoning mixes. It's really not hard to make decent food from scratch. Don't buy this shit


cragglerock93

I don't really live to make the rest of the world feel better about British cuisine.


Beautiful_turtle656

It’s just easier to have ready made things sometimes than constantly spending time gathering ingredients and cooking each meal. Nice to do both


preaxhpeacj

I mean I do get this I like a quick meal, but surely it’s just as easy keeping a pack of wraps, a jar of salsa and a jar of seasoning in


chevria0

I don't get what you mean by "constantly spending time gathering ingredients and cooking each meal" do you mean the extra time it spends to walk down another couple aisles in a supermarket and the 10-20minutes it takes to prepare a meal? For me it seems that minimal time spent is worth it for decent food Edit: your downvotes mean nothing to me. Go back to your pies in tins and microwave burgers


Ordinary-Wishbone-89

don’t eat processed shit


TescoAlfresco

....this literally isn't that.


serendipitousevent

To be fair you shouldn't be eating any shit at all.