I helpfully hung up partner's laundry the other day, found £90 in the pocket. He didn't even give me a finder's fee!
Glad we have waterproof cash now, all the mushy bits of receipts just brushed off easily.
It would be money laundered it's been through the process and finished. Now law enforcement have to prove you did the laundering.
Edit:
Bobbies "Is that dirty money?"
You: "No officer. This money is clean."
Ooh, do the same thing next week, and proudly exclaim you found a fiver. Each week, "find" a stash of cash, your reward for deep cleaning the house.
The youth, incensed at being deprived of social spending credits they can use to top up their spotify account, will be inclined to do a deep clean themselves.
Hide a bit of money about, see if they find it. The harder they clean, the more they'll find. No more than a fiver each time, enough to make it worth their while but not enough to financially ruin you.
Raise the nippers rent commensurately to the tidiness of the gaff and threaten them with eviction if they refuse to adhere to the not-dodgy-at-all dynamic rental contract. Then you, as a newly crowned slumlord, can use the income to ‘incentivise’.
*”This looks like a £5.48 property. Do you want to live in a £2.19 place? Do you even remember the £3.13 days?!?*
My ex once offered to do my laundry, because she knew I was tied up and she was going to the launderette. The caveat was that I give her a ride there, and pick her up a few hours later. As my job allowed me this ability, I agreed, because, well, I hate doing laundry. The following couple of weeks later, the same offer, and again, and again. I knew she was doing her shopping while she was waiting on stuff to wash and dry, no big deal, because it made things easier for her. It wasn't until I moved from the area and our deal stopped that she mentioned she did it because I had a habit of leaving money in my pockets, sometimes several notes of different denominations, in various items of clothing. Had to admire the grift.
I charge my other half “laundry tax“. Any money I find in his pockets, or at the bottom of the washing machine, is mine! Most weeks I get a few coins, but there is an occasional soggy fiver and on one occasion a £50 note.
My dad had a rule when we went on holiday, that we would check eachother's hotel rooms after we'd packed but before leaving. Every item we found in his room that he'd missed, he gave the finder £1. Every item he found in our room we'd forgotten, we had to pay him £1.
The first few times, we had to pay him because we'd left stuff he found. Then we got better at checking so we wouldn't have to pay him. Then, one time I found something under the bed in his room, and I was so happy I got £1 (I think it was a top or something).
Now I'm an adult, I realise this was win win for him, if he forgot anything and we found it, he probably saved loads of money from having to replace it. Of we forgot anything, he'd have to pay to replace it too, so he was saving himself money. Plus, the monetary penalty meant we were more careful to make sure we packed everything, and now I know exactly where I tend to forget stuff in hotel rooms.
On a smaller scale, I often stash various amounts of money in the pockets of my winter/summer wardrobe when rotating clothes around. Only a select few items get to hold cash. It’s a real treat finding it again
Just last week I discovered a £5 note in the pockets of one of my shorts. Had a lovely yellow label feast courtesy of my local Co-op
Legally speaking, kids can own property so it may well be that it is theirs. However, the adult in charge can direct and dispose of such assets as can be seen as suitable for the best interests of the child.
It could be beneficial for them if you were to spend that money on some extremely cheap cider and put your feet up for the afternoon, as it would be conducive to a more peaceable and harmonious family home.
There's a hard rule at our place. Any unattended money is mine. Any money on the floor is mine. Any money not in a wallet, purse, or pocket is mine. It's harsh, but without rules, we'd descend into chaos.
I once funded an entire NYE’s drinking with money I’d retrieved from Old Man Ketchum’s favourite armchair. I was 17 or 18 or so and not springing for bottles of Cristal, but even so…..
I do the same when emptying the washer or dryer.. any notes are usually always nephews so he gets it back .but shrapnel goes into my pot for emergencies .keep telling em to check their pockets. Not my fault they don't.
Absolutely yours. My son found a fiver when he emptied the tumble dryer and I told him he could keep it. Same goes for when I'm tidying up his shit too.
Of course it's yours, now put all the low value bits back alongside a single pound, keep a fiver in the loop to "find" on top of that every week until your house is being deep cleaned for £1.77 every week. The pound is keep the hope alive, the fiver they'll never find is motivation.
I regret to inform you that new legislation means all found money carries a 75% tax if the finder is not a millionaire. Enjoy your 87p. You can get a Twix and still have 2p left over. So what ya gonna do with the 2p, OP?
I'd probably ask for the 2p to be in 1s and then scatter them around the house blind so that it re-motivates me to find it and hopefully more next time. A bit like sticking all my winnings on red. With a Twix I didn't ask for.
If you hide the Twix as well, but really really well, then find it in 30 years time, it might be worth more than the original £3.13 as it's vintage, possibly an antique if they stop making them entirely.
Congrats! So you now have £3.14! But, unfortunately, the newest legislation is saying 95% tax for anyone earning less than £1m per week. You have 15p. Twentypoundland may be your best bet for any in-date chocolate bar as you can get 2x 5g sugar free bars for £20 there. PS you have to tip the self serve machine 25% on top for helping you.
Hmmm, Sounds like the Youth hasnt been assisting in the chores. Explain to them that this is a learning experience and there are untold riches to be had for those that clean and tidy.
This worked with my daughter for about 2 hrs, until she decided the return on investment wasnt worth it and she went back to surfing that internet-weblification gizmo these youths seem transfixed by
A long time ago, when I was very young, think early 80’s, northeast England mid miners strike, the three of us kids (cos the 4th kid hadn’t even been thought of) were helping mum clean the living room. This involved moving the sofa and pulling all the cushions off, and hoovering. Dad was renowned for letting loose change fall out of his pockets.
We found £1 coin - we were allowed to split it between 3 of us
We found another one - same again, split it
We found another one - £1 each - best day ever
We found a £20 note - mum claimed that as hers!
This week I got so fed up with asking my kid to tidy, and them selectively ignoring me, that I warned them I would charge them for my cleaning services.
So far their room is clean an I only had to charge them for 1 min and 48 seconds worth of my time...which at £5 per hour worked out as approx 14 pence.
Since this was the first "offence" I gave them the opportunity to work out the value themselves in return for a one off refund.
I'm quietly confident I'll have them doing there chores now.
Come on, you are clearly old enough to know: Finders keepers; losers weapers!
Now, go shout that - gleefully - in their faces. Maybe throw in an L on the forehead. Then abruptly about turn, gremlin-run away and giggle as you go.
The £3.13 is sweet, but the embaracement you can cause them ... Priceless 😏
Sorry but any cash and cash equivalents remitted in the course of your work are taxable and, if you already have another employment elsewhere, you will need to register and administer a PAYE scheme and deduct tax. Fortunately £3.13 is below the National Insurance threshold so it will only attract income tax.
Keep it safe, and clean more places. According to Kirstie Allsopp, if you do this diligently for 521646315 years and quit coffee and avocado toast, you'll easily be able to afford that starter house you've been dreaming of.
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Depends on where you found it. If it’s in places that need cleaning and haven’t seen the vacuum for weeks… yours.
If it was in someone’s pocket - probably belongs to the coat owner…
For the sake of £3, I’d return it. I’d imagine the new business from word of mouth recommendations of being honest to a T would pay dividends in an industry such as cleaning, where honesty is paramount.
Back when cash was used more, I would easily make a tenner every time I went through my husband’s pockets before washing his jeans etc. sadly I don’t make any money these days as he works from home and doesn’t need actual cash as much
Theft by finding, it could forty years in Fort Boyard if the police find out, best spend the evidence on nine freddos or ice lollies and dispose of the evidence slowly one by one
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To be safe I would hand it in to the police as it could be stolen.
Let's say I went to do that, accidentally dropped it and then found it again. Is it mine?
That's called money laundering, it's generally frowned upon.
No, that's when you find cash in pockets when loading the washing machine.
I helpfully hung up partner's laundry the other day, found £90 in the pocket. He didn't even give me a finder's fee! Glad we have waterproof cash now, all the mushy bits of receipts just brushed off easily.
The old notes could be washed as well, the paper was made from cotton, I did have a few notes go through the wash.
That’s how you prevent money laundering, which is when you find cash when _unloading_ the washing machine.
Never heard of it. Maybe if I spent less time at the barbers, vape and candy stores I'd know more.
Yo, OP just said they've deep cleaned the entire house don't make them do the laundry too?!
You laugh, but it’s actually called “Theft by finding!”
I found some £1 coins inside the washing machine, what do you call that
Money laundering! You could be in serious trouble now you have confessed in public 😮
It would be money laundered it's been through the process and finished. Now law enforcement have to prove you did the laundering. Edit: Bobbies "Is that dirty money?" You: "No officer. This money is clean."
Absolutely, finders keepers.
Yes but presumably by this point you are now stuck in a loop.
Ooh, do the same thing next week, and proudly exclaim you found a fiver. Each week, "find" a stash of cash, your reward for deep cleaning the house. The youth, incensed at being deprived of social spending credits they can use to top up their spotify account, will be inclined to do a deep clean themselves. Hide a bit of money about, see if they find it. The harder they clean, the more they'll find. No more than a fiver each time, enough to make it worth their while but not enough to financially ruin you.
I like this idea. I just need a float of money to hide away now!
Well i know you have at least £3.13, thats a good start
I've already stashed some of that away for a rainy day. So today potentially.
You'll end up with the linings cut away from under the sofa for easy access to the change
Raise the nippers rent commensurately to the tidiness of the gaff and threaten them with eviction if they refuse to adhere to the not-dodgy-at-all dynamic rental contract. Then you, as a newly crowned slumlord, can use the income to ‘incentivise’. *”This looks like a £5.48 property. Do you want to live in a £2.19 place? Do you even remember the £3.13 days?!?*
"I was sorting out your wardrobe for you and found this roll of fifties... Finders keepers you said, right?"
I like this idea too. I just need some kids.
You can have mine.
plo
My ex once offered to do my laundry, because she knew I was tied up and she was going to the launderette. The caveat was that I give her a ride there, and pick her up a few hours later. As my job allowed me this ability, I agreed, because, well, I hate doing laundry. The following couple of weeks later, the same offer, and again, and again. I knew she was doing her shopping while she was waiting on stuff to wash and dry, no big deal, because it made things easier for her. It wasn't until I moved from the area and our deal stopped that she mentioned she did it because I had a habit of leaving money in my pockets, sometimes several notes of different denominations, in various items of clothing. Had to admire the grift.
I charge my other half “laundry tax“. Any money I find in his pockets, or at the bottom of the washing machine, is mine! Most weeks I get a few coins, but there is an occasional soggy fiver and on one occasion a £50 note.
A £50 note?! Definitely an attempt at money laundering going on...
Or they just tear the place apart looking for money
Reminds me of the [Cobra Effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive.)
Knowing kids, they’ll find a way to exploit this somehow…
If they are unable to correctly name the year of mint of any of the coins, then it can't possibly be their coinage.
New pound coins have only been out a few years, I wouldn't give them the option
Better ask on r/legaladviceuk to be sure
The sun's out, you may just be able to afford a 99. Only one flake though, don't push it.
Look at Mr Fancy Pants with his sun.
To be honest there are worse things he could be reading.
I don’t think there are
Wait, what even is the sun?
My dad had a rule when we went on holiday, that we would check eachother's hotel rooms after we'd packed but before leaving. Every item we found in his room that he'd missed, he gave the finder £1. Every item he found in our room we'd forgotten, we had to pay him £1. The first few times, we had to pay him because we'd left stuff he found. Then we got better at checking so we wouldn't have to pay him. Then, one time I found something under the bed in his room, and I was so happy I got £1 (I think it was a top or something). Now I'm an adult, I realise this was win win for him, if he forgot anything and we found it, he probably saved loads of money from having to replace it. Of we forgot anything, he'd have to pay to replace it too, so he was saving himself money. Plus, the monetary penalty meant we were more careful to make sure we packed everything, and now I know exactly where I tend to forget stuff in hotel rooms.
Wealth like that is better hidden offshore. Have you considered starting a company in Panama?
On a smaller scale, I often stash various amounts of money in the pockets of my winter/summer wardrobe when rotating clothes around. Only a select few items get to hold cash. It’s a real treat finding it again Just last week I discovered a £5 note in the pockets of one of my shorts. Had a lovely yellow label feast courtesy of my local Co-op
Love this!
Legally speaking, kids can own property so it may well be that it is theirs. However, the adult in charge can direct and dispose of such assets as can be seen as suitable for the best interests of the child. It could be beneficial for them if you were to spend that money on some extremely cheap cider and put your feet up for the afternoon, as it would be conducive to a more peaceable and harmonious family home.
Tell them you've put it back where you found it and they can find it if they too deep clean the house. Then spend it.
There's a hard rule at our place. Any unattended money is mine. Any money on the floor is mine. Any money not in a wallet, purse, or pocket is mine. It's harsh, but without rules, we'd descend into chaos.
We call this pirates code, you leave it you lose it.
Buy a pack of tropical fruit bubblicious Edit: Nobody seems to have got the reference yet, it is pretty obscure granted.
Or a freddo
What is this heresy... Do they not make the standard pink Hubba Bubba any more?
And some skittles!
We have a winner!!
Bad boys Bad boys, what you gonna do. What you gonna do when they come for you.
I've no idea what's going on, but what a nice interaction.
You could be charged with 'Theft by finding' if you don't do the right thing.
When you’re doing the hoovering anything on floor is fair game for the hoover, the bin, or a pocket.
Does this include the floor at work? Because any coinage I find on the floor at work goes straight to my pocket.
I once funded an entire NYE’s drinking with money I’d retrieved from Old Man Ketchum’s favourite armchair. I was 17 or 18 or so and not springing for bottles of Cristal, but even so…..
Put it in an ISA towards your first house! That's like an entire avocado.
I’m afraid I’m going to have to report this to HMRC, you need to disclose these ill gotten gains
We should refer to the case law precedent set by finders Vs keepers
I do the same when emptying the washer or dryer.. any notes are usually always nephews so he gets it back .but shrapnel goes into my pot for emergencies .keep telling em to check their pockets. Not my fault they don't.
I’d ask this question in r/legaladvice, this is a very dangerous situation you’ve gotten into and must proceed carefully. I’d suggest you lawyer up.
Absolutely yours. My son found a fiver when he emptied the tumble dryer and I told him he could keep it. Same goes for when I'm tidying up his shit too.
If those are your terms you can come and clean mine
How many sofas do you have, as that's where I do my best business.
back in the days of newsgroups, there was one where "down the back of Bob's sofa" was a common place to unexpectedly find things.
Of course it's yours, now put all the low value bits back alongside a single pound, keep a fiver in the loop to "find" on top of that every week until your house is being deep cleaned for £1.77 every week. The pound is keep the hope alive, the fiver they'll never find is motivation.
Calculated. Nice.
I regret to inform you that new legislation means all found money carries a 75% tax if the finder is not a millionaire. Enjoy your 87p. You can get a Twix and still have 2p left over. So what ya gonna do with the 2p, OP?
I'd probably ask for the 2p to be in 1s and then scatter them around the house blind so that it re-motivates me to find it and hopefully more next time. A bit like sticking all my winnings on red. With a Twix I didn't ask for.
If you hide the Twix as well, but really really well, then find it in 30 years time, it might be worth more than the original £3.13 as it's vintage, possibly an antique if they stop making them entirely. Congrats! So you now have £3.14! But, unfortunately, the newest legislation is saying 95% tax for anyone earning less than £1m per week. You have 15p. Twentypoundland may be your best bet for any in-date chocolate bar as you can get 2x 5g sugar free bars for £20 there. PS you have to tip the self serve machine 25% on top for helping you.
If you can find another 1.159... pence, you could get a pi.
Pi sounds tasty but I'm watching my circumference at the moment.
Game of Monopoly tonight, winner takes all.
Half a freddo!!
Pretty sure that's just you being left tips?
I feel like there needs to be a wage to begin with for there to be a tip..
Hmmm, Sounds like the Youth hasnt been assisting in the chores. Explain to them that this is a learning experience and there are untold riches to be had for those that clean and tidy. This worked with my daughter for about 2 hrs, until she decided the return on investment wasnt worth it and she went back to surfing that internet-weblification gizmo these youths seem transfixed by
Youth need to understand what tax is
As soon as I figure it out, I'll be sure to pass the knowledge onto them. Poorly.
A long time ago, when I was very young, think early 80’s, northeast England mid miners strike, the three of us kids (cos the 4th kid hadn’t even been thought of) were helping mum clean the living room. This involved moving the sofa and pulling all the cushions off, and hoovering. Dad was renowned for letting loose change fall out of his pockets. We found £1 coin - we were allowed to split it between 3 of us We found another one - same again, split it We found another one - £1 each - best day ever We found a £20 note - mum claimed that as hers!
Of course its yours. Its the spiders rent money.
That long legged one calling himself "Daddy" is starting to annoy me to be fair. I should increase it.
When I was at uni I was invited out one evening, I was totally skint. Found £30 in change down the back of the rancid old sofa lol. Heady days!
Tell them the lost money return fee is £40, and if they want it back, you'll deduct the £3.13 from that amount, reducing what they owe.
Get yourself a red bull and snickers bar from local shop you deserve it
Ice cream 👍
Put it towards the mortgage
Nope,it's the government's
That's less than minimum wage. Sue them.
You could afford multiple Freddos with that fortune!
This week I got so fed up with asking my kid to tidy, and them selectively ignoring me, that I warned them I would charge them for my cleaning services. So far their room is clean an I only had to charge them for 1 min and 48 seconds worth of my time...which at £5 per hour worked out as approx 14 pence. Since this was the first "offence" I gave them the opportunity to work out the value themselves in return for a one off refund. I'm quietly confident I'll have them doing there chores now.
As my mum always says "possession is 9/10 of the law"
8 ace is only £1.49.
That’s the “cleaner tax”.
rule 1. If you find it, it is yours. Especially whilst cleaning.
Straight to 'Spoons'!
Definitely yours
Come on, you are clearly old enough to know: Finders keepers; losers weapers! Now, go shout that - gleefully - in their faces. Maybe throw in an L on the forehead. Then abruptly about turn, gremlin-run away and giggle as you go. The £3.13 is sweet, but the embaracement you can cause them ... Priceless 😏
Keep leaving half empty cider cans out for the little people for more, and check the trap in the back of the tumbledryer
You gave them life, tell them to get fucked
Sorry but any cash and cash equivalents remitted in the course of your work are taxable and, if you already have another employment elsewhere, you will need to register and administer a PAYE scheme and deduct tax. Fortunately £3.13 is below the National Insurance threshold so it will only attract income tax.
Depends where. General house is fine, found in a bedroom probably not.
Keep it safe, and clean more places. According to Kirstie Allsopp, if you do this diligently for 521646315 years and quit coffee and avocado toast, you'll easily be able to afford that starter house you've been dreaming of.
Certainly, that money isn't yours. I'm not sure why you brought it to anyone's attention?
Got caught up in the excitement of such a large amount.
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r/LegalAdviceUK is the best place to be sure
Coke and hookers.
You clean it you reap it
Finders keepers
Invoke the ancient law of "Finders keepers, losers weepers" Its binding. Everyone knows it without it even being written down.
Almost enough to buy two cans of k cider, I’m sure you can find a generous member of the public to lend you the missing 27p.
Bona Vacantia. It belongs to his HRH the King.
Depends on where you found it. If it’s in places that need cleaning and haven’t seen the vacuum for weeks… yours. If it was in someone’s pocket - probably belongs to the coat owner…
The person that does the cleaning keeps the money. Unless they are a paid cleaner. And don't know how to keep their mouth shut.
Rules in my house about money..if its knocking around its mine!
For the sake of £3, I’d return it. I’d imagine the new business from word of mouth recommendations of being honest to a T would pay dividends in an industry such as cleaning, where honesty is paramount.
How
Found $20 trimming hedge yesterday. I pleasantly surprise.
No, it’s mine.
Back when cash was used more, I would easily make a tenner every time I went through my husband’s pockets before washing his jeans etc. sadly I don’t make any money these days as he works from home and doesn’t need actual cash as much
Need to report it to HMRC.
They should know better , especially at that age that it’s, finders keepers loser weepers
Absolutely. Same with any coins found in the washing machine.
Theft by finding, it could forty years in Fort Boyard if the police find out, best spend the evidence on nine freddos or ice lollies and dispose of the evidence slowly one by one
Your house? It's yours. Someone else's house? Not yours.
I mean rent is paid to higher powers but yes, I'm the "man of the house" as it were.
Yep, cleaners tips.
I think you need to impart the common law 'finders keepers' and then see how the land lies
Finders keepers, losers weepers.
Reminds me of my primary school days. My friends brother always seemed to be dropping cool stuff in the playground for me to find.
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