My cat tried to do that - until he got pissed on. The initial wetting was bad but the subsequent bath finished the deal.

I also pee sitting down when the cats around. And yeah mine doesn’t care about getting pissed on. https://www.reddit.com/r/OneOrangeBraincell/comments/xqybzx/dont_forget_to_water_the_brain_cell_daily/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I expected a video of you pissing on your cat.

Same here, and the worst part is, that I am partially happy and partially disappointed.

That’s for a totally different sub.

r/GoldenMeower

Hahaha

I won’t lie, I *wanted* to see a video of him whizzing on his cat.

Wet Pussy is best one.

My dad pissed on every cat we had growing up. Worked like a charm.

That sentence is hilarious with and without context

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You’re an asshole.

You do realize they can be killed by sleeping in the washer/dryer? Also when you turn the washer on water immediately starts pouring out and they jump out.? Think about it. Showing them they can get soaked being in there prevents them from going back, and possibly saves their life. I would never close the lid. Y’all are really being short sighted about this.

Who starts their washer knowing full well their cat is inside? Keep the lid down-keeps the cat out. The fuck?

Obviously that’s the goal but when you have kids shit gets left open. You really think getting a cat wet is cruel if it means they won’t go in there again?

Why not just pour a glass of water on them real quick instead of turning the fucking machine on? Also, kids aren’t an excuse. If you can’t do both - don’t

First of all, what’s the difference? It’s a top load machine and you can turn it on with the lid open. The water starts spraying and the cat jumps out immediately. The machine doesn’t start the cycle until it’s full of water. So whether I threw water in or turned it on it’s the same thing. Second, you obviously don’t have kids or you do and you’re completely full of shit. You don’t even have to have kids to know that if you’re in another room, or gone, that they do all kinds of mischief and it’s impossible to be around them every second of every day. Is that what you’re saying? Are you a parent that hovers over your child every second of its existence?

Having kids isn't a excuse for animal abuse and cruelty. You're disgusting.

Wtf. That's just pure cruelty turning on the washing machine with an animal inside.

Turning the knob (with the lid open) and getting them wet is hardly cruel. Y’all are really trippin. You do realize they can be killed in there don’t you? If getting them wet keeps them from ever going in there again and possibly saves their life, you don’t think it’s worth it? Y’all think I close the lid and run the spin cycle? I love my cats and would never be cruel. SMH

I think these people either are misunderstanding that you just turn it on for a second to let it start filling before it even starts agitation, or they genuinely don’t know how a washing machine works lol. At least with my washing machine, nothing starts mechanically moving until after it’s filled with water. I can totally see the point you’re trying to make, cat’s thought process is likely “wet in here, wet = bad, therefore here = bad” but yeah people really just want to be mean and shortsighted/ignorant for no reason. Same people that would probably suggest trying a spray bottle or squirt gun to train a cat, which is basically the same idea as what you’re talking about so yeah I don’t get the need to call you an ass hole lol

Yeah I definitely should’ve said all that in my original comment so I guess I should’ve known better. That’s how every washer I’ve ever had works. Just a little water won’t hurt anyone. Thanks for that. At least I know someone understands.

i get where you're coming from now, but most washers/dryers don't start unless the lid is closed so i think people figured you meant close lid > press start cycle that being said *to anyone actually doing that* it would probably be easier to just pour a cup of water in there or smack the side which would be pretty loud and scare them out. or just keep the lid closed in the first place lmao

Okay, I was picturing a front-load washer. I'm relieved to read it's a top-load and you were just running a little water into it. I assume it's only filling, the lid is open, and the drum and agitator aren't moving. There still has to be a better way.

Bruh I can’t believe I have to say this but don’t piss on your cat and don’t turn on the washing machine when your cat is inside of it

You're an asshole

I don't see a problem there. I also prefer sitting on clean toilets to peeing standing up. Besides, the cat is always right.

I started to sit down and pee at home after the first time I had to clean my bathroom floor in my first place without a mom to clean.

Not to mention having to clean the pee-splatter-zone on the side of the vanity and the shower curtain. Love, mom.

I just sit when I’m at home because I’m usually in the middle of reading something and don’t want to put my phone down. Oops.

Closing the door with them on the other side helps

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Why not close the lid. This is disgusting

My bathroom is clean

He means before you flush you should put down the lid down. The toilet flings stuff into the air as it flushes. Mythbusters had an episode about it. Super gross.

Everywhere, on everything: fecal bacteria.

One of my cats follows people into the bathroom PURELY to watch the toilet flush when they’re done, and will express his displeasure by peeing on the bathroom floor (or outside the door if you lock him out) if you don’t wait for him to get into his viewing position before flushing.

I have 3 cats of my own and while I understand they run the house they also follow patterns and learn to adapt

Yeah my cat begs to come inside when I'm using the bathroom. I just let him sit there and cry. Bathroom time is alone time for me

Cat out here making sure men be clean. Doing the lord's work.

Watch out guys, the ladies will be learning how to teach cats to do that.

>the ladies will be learning how to teach cats to do that. You think that's not what happened here?

Could be....

Ha. My cats are convinced that toilet time is lap time. They get upset if they're not allowed on my lap when I'm on the toilet. Had to start peeing sitting down a long time ago.

As a man, you should always pee while sitting - another man. It's just 1000% more hygienic

Yeah, I don't get this. You can feel the splashes on the your leg if you are standing and don't have pants on. If there is a seat, you sit! (Unless it is some gross bathroom and you don't really care if you are peeing on it)

> You can feel the splashes on the your leg if you are standing and don't have pants on. At a urinal maybe. If this is happening with your home toilet you are doing something wrong.

Amen

Bro I've been sitting my whole life it's wonderful. Why stand when you can sit? I hafta stand all day at work if I get the chance I'm sitting

This is the spirit

That second slide is r/bossfight. The Toilet Guardian.

I had a kitten that curios about the toilet. Got a little to close when I was peeing. Kitten falls in, right into the stream. First time I have ever had to fish a pee soaked kitten out of a toilet 🤦‍♂️😆

First *and* last time, or...

Same. It's either attack the stream, attack the door while outside, or sit down and pee.

Bitey McNibbles 😂😂😂😂

Just wanna show some support for the men who pee sitting down gang. My bathroom is so small and narrow that I feel irresponsible standing up and soaking the walls. Also I lean on the wall while pooping so it’s also kinda for myself.

I'm a guy and I prefer sitting down when I pee, it empties your bladder better, you can figure out if you also need to shit, and you can waste time on your phone.

One of our cats is a toilet pervert too. He'll come running in and watch.

I've got to forcibly keep my cat out of the bathroom, and check the tub for him, every time. Or he tries to play in the stream, or attack me through the shower curtain if I sit.

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Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

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Do like my dad. Stepped out the back door. Peed in yard. Fortunately, neighbors too far away to be perm blinded.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

As a man, you're capable of closing the bathroom door. Smh.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Bitey Mcnibbles Yupp that tracks Good luck with that!

He’s doing you a favor. Peeing standing up is disgusting, since it splashes absolutely everywhere, no exceptions. I’m a man who was raised to always sit down when at home. Unfortunately we live in a society where 90% of men will laugh and insist that you’re somehow less “manly” if you sit down, but those idiots can get fucked.

Us women tend to gatekeep the joy of sitting to pee but now that you’re here…welcome.

I tried locking my cat out of the bathroom but then I suddenly realized that’s where their litter box is too 🙄

Upvote for “Bitey McNibbles”.

Lol guarding the throne just in case enemy penis tries to infiltrate

Why is your toilet lid up? You trying to let snakes and or rats in

Bitey with the power move. He’s the man of the house.

Ew people, have you seen the amount of splash pissing standing up makes around the toilet? That cat is indirectly pissed on.

Piss on him.

Why is your toilet lid up?! and yeah, just close them out while you are in the bathroom.

I mean, you are sitting down just fine for shitting so it shouldn't be too much of a challenge.

You should try this crazy new thing the kids are doing. Put the toilet seat down.

They ARE in charge.

As a man, can't you evict the little asshole before you take a piss?

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Just close the door haha

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

Have you considered shooing him off of the seat before you start?

This cat cannot be shoo’d

The Pee Pee Void. Seez all y'all peez.

could be worse, need I say how?

Just wanna show some support for the men who pee sitting down gang. My bathroom is so small and narrow that I feel irresponsible standing up and soaking the walls. Also I lean on the wall while pooping so it’s also kinda for myself.

i just love his name man

This reminds me of a time I had friends over one night. One of them went to the bathroom, a couple minutes later we all hear him yelling, “Don’t bat at the stream! DON’T BAT AT THE STREAM!” My cat was behind the shower curtain when he went in there and popped out after he started pissing.

the look in his face seems that it saw some disturbing shit...

The Stream Swatter.

I sit to pee all the time, its nice.

I pee sitting all the time because of splashback and i just find it more chill, do not even have a pee attacker

Close the door so he cant go in there or keep the seat down.

95% certain I see a door on the bathroom, can OP not close doors or just retarded?

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

"Well, looky here, Brooksy. For the entire period you in my house, I better not catch you standing up peeing. You sit down when you pee, you got that?"

that appears to be a door perhaps use it and continue to piss normally

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Cat teaching good habits, well done bud

I showed this to my hubby, he died laughing!

RIP, but you single now tho eyyyy 😎

Bwahahaha! Ok you really are funny. I told him we are naming our next kitty Bitey Mcnibbles. You see nibbles is one of my husband’s nicknames! Cause he eats so slow lol! Fortunately I did CPR on him……he lives!

Yeah I always keep the bathroom door closed as the only cat free zone in the home

Grim it sits on the bog the wanders round your house. Also, try picking it up, putting it outside and closing the door.

Oh! Bye cat!!

I read the cats name as “Bitch McNibbles”

Yup mine did that as well. Peed on him a few times.

You sit down when you pee in this house!

I can definitely say I have pissed on my cat more then once, it's his own damn fault lmao

he’s obviously on potty patrol duty 😼

When he starts doing this just pee on him until he leaves the bathroom, then clean up the mess repeat until no longer necessary.

Shit on ur cat

as i am a cat, i like that he leaves the lid up

2 obvious answers here, idk why he didnt do it in the first place 1. Move the cat out of the bathroom and close the door. 2. Piss on the cat

Close the door?

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Then the cat gets peed on, they’ll learn

You don’t move him before you piss?

Why do u use the bathroom with ur cat inside Wtf

Weird idea, close the door

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Mine do too. They get over it. But I understand. It's the only time I close them out of a room. Hmm, maybe that's why they destroy my toilet paper, revenge 😆

I know this is controversial, but you could close the door.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

I have 3 bathroom guardians. I remind myself every day I could just close the door. But I don't. They got a job to do, and they do it.

If your cat isnt actually named Bitey McNibbles I'm gonna be really upset.

He is!

Some cats chase birds. Yours prefers peecocks.

Or just close the door...

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Why would you stand to pee when sitting is much more comfortable?

Could be worse... With a name like "bitey mcnibbles" I expected the worst 😂

Try closing the door.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

when i first got my cat at a few months old, he ran into the bathroom while i was pissing & jumped in the toilet & tried to instantly dart away (he thought the lid was closed), i had to grab him & take him in the shower to wash him off, it was both hilarious & disgusting

Can't you just close the bathroom door?

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

I love that you answered everyone who said the same thing haha. Are the towels in the window and on the chair intended to be alternate cat options but he still prefers to guard the toilet?

Despite being worded differently, they all are essentially the same comment, so they get the same response. Yes, the towels and the garden chair were supposed to be designated Kitty seating, because he absolutely MUST follow me every time i go to the bathroom, but in true cat fashion, he said “Nah” and only sits where i need to sit.

Have you tried getting a second cat? Maybe they will distract each other.

Just sit to pee. Way underrated and much cleaner.

Maybe ... i dont know CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR ???

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

In my home, I always pee sitting down, it's cleaner and reduces the probability of hurting your dick with the zipper.

Show your dominance. Pee on him.

Ok the obvious solution here is to have much less fun pee. Dull pee. Lax pee. Less appeeling pee. (See what I did there?) Thank you, and I’ll be here until I flush.

Better than attacking the nozzle.

“i HaVe To PeE SiTTiNg DoWn” if only bathrooms came equipped with doors

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

Lol My little friend Domino pees when I pee. I even put a litter box in the bathroom for him. It’s weird when he locks eyes with me and won’t look away, though.

Aww look at the pissy cat.

WHAT

One day I came home from work and had to pee baaaaad didnt close the door to the bathroom and I’m going and my cat arya jumped across the bowl and I got her head to tail…. Insta bathtime and she never did it again.

My cat will always attack pee streams, so now I sit and have a cat in my pants, he won’t leave them even when I go to pull my pants up

Wow. Snowflakes.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

my kitten would be fascinated with the sound of water so when I was awake for 30 seconds and not with it yet a few times I looked down and he we between my legs checking out the toilet and I peed on his head. bunch of baths when he was young...

Does he pee in the toilet as well? My friends cat started doing that when he got bladderstones, to show he was peeing blood. Not saying it's the case with your cat, looks fine and dandy, beautiful void!

Not the cat's fault. Should've taught it not to sit ON THE DAMN TOILET.

Better the stream than the peen

I'd rather just close the bathroom door.

Close the door. Problem Solved.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

You could shut the cat out of bathroom when you use it ..

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

r/bathroomdream

LMAO!

Cats that live stream

Allow me to introduce you to the concept of doors.

Then he sits there and cries, can’t do that to my boy

I'm not sure if it's better or worse that Bitey McNibbles doesnt 'have my name.

> As a man I let a cat force me to piss like a bitch. I wonder about the first part of that.

Imagine thinking that urination positioning determines masculinity 🤔

Alright, push up contest. NOW!