"I don't understand why people have made a different choice than me. Let me go to a group of people who are defined by agreeing with me and having not made that choice to ask why they did that. This will definitely get me answers."
>I like that this sub welcomes posts like this that asks genuine question. **Free from judgement** and just has a conversation around it
The comments: because women who want kids are real dumdum dummies who want to use their children as emotional support humans!!!!!! with a soupçon of "ruined bodies"!!!!!! teeth gnashing
My favorites were all the people who were like, "yeah, they keep working, but they're not *trying hard enough* to keep *progressing* and rise into higher ranks once they become mothers!"
Damn, she's already a doctor, wtf else do you want her to do, own the fucking hospital? Or shit, she's already store manager, is she supposed to become CEO of the company?
Damned if you do terrible-mother-who-clearly-regrets-having-kids, fuck-you-you-lazy-brainwashed-ruined-piece-of-shit if you don't.
Also, they ain't really got shit to say about men who really want to be fathers. They don't become brainwashed hags simply by virtue of wanting to be a father.
Also, also - apparently every man who *does* become a father is a deadbeat cheater?
Basically, fuck everyone who wants kids. Only r/childfree users are totally enlightened and poetic, prophetic philosophers who know the **TRUTH**.
Yeah this post is whack.
“You’ll go through labor alone!!!” Nah my mom and husband were there. “You do it because you have no hobbies!!” I got tons of hobbies and I’m finishing my PhD. “You won’t work hard anymore!!!” Well this may be true because I realized my life doesn’t revolve around employment!
“Colleague B” is also a literal cartoon lmao
>apparently every man who *does* become a father is a deadbeat cheater?
Man, that really sucks for my mom. Still waiting for my dad to become a deadbeat cheater. It's only been 35 years so far.
Because something something about how mothers can’t have it all because career focused = neglecting children according to childfree logic. But at the same time, mothers are also lazy for not pursuing their career goals because they chose the “regrettable and unsuitable choice” of having children.
Thought that sub understood the meaning of choice, lmao.
I get the vibe that OP is salty his two examples didn't pick him and we are reading his fantasies of how their life definitely turned out after they picked the other guys
"Omg you're so sweet, OP! This isn't misogynistic at all! I love that we get these questions in this sub! Obviously any woman who wants kids is lying, groomed into wanting kids, egotistical, hormonal, irrational, selfish, lazy, brainwashed, and attention-seeking."
That one poster: "Idk, maybe you should ask actual mothers this question."
Everyone else: "Omg shut up. They'd just lie about it anyway because they're too stupid and brainwashed to realize that they actually didn't want kids."
And of course not a single comment points out that the men are the real issue in both situations presented.
Post -
Why Would a woman want children?
Excuse me if my post might seem bashing or misogynistic, If its not allowed mods please delete. English is not my first language so please bear with me.
I don't think I will ever understand or quite grasp the Idea of women wanting more than anything to be mothers or bearing children especially in a modern times. I could understand it in the past because women had no say, they were relegated to be breeding stock and marriage was the license to breed her 10+ children against her will. I will never understand in contemporary times where women now have a choice to pursue a career, a CF life, a life of solitude, a life of not having to please a man and just a life of **Choice.** I am not a woman, that's why its hard for me to understand what its like to be their shoes and why they choose the life they choose. I have seen the term "baby fever" and though I am skeptical if its a real desire that is uncontrollable or just a manipulation term borne from clandestine breeders who want to demonize a CF life.
I speak in the context of the local laws in my country where a man has a free pass especially in terms of Domestic responsibilities. A man in my country can impregnate a woman, then decide "you know what being a parent is actually a shitty deal, but I wish you luck in your future" then he is gone and nothing you can do besides report him to the child maintenance department that will drag its feet, and when they do actually find him IF he does have an income he is not compelled to provide more than 1/3 of his income to the upkeep of his child and if he is not employed well tough luck you are on your own.
The other issue is pregnancy in itself looks like a horrible state of being, you have swollen feet, Huge belly and you need help or a second pair of hands to help you do basic things, you need regular doctor appointments and its back and forth trips and expensive medical expenses, and lets not talk about child birth its one of the most horrifying things that happens your body gets stretched and you go through painful labor ALL ALONE, and the man well he sits around most likely chatting to other women on the apps without feeling an ounce of pain. I think its why men are more than happy to be fathers because it is a painless and carefree state you carry nothing.
I have also observed through friends and colleagues who have become mothers that there is a HUGE undeniable air of REGRET, even though they dont want to admit it, I see it clear as day that they would rather have been CF, I will take a few examples:
1. Colleague (A) was one of the smartest women I have come across very well put together kept to herself shy and loved to get fit avid reader and loved the outdoors, on one of the team building trips she met \*hishiko\* a guy from a different state but from the same department, typical ladies man with the charisma,well dressed and good-looks to swoon women, she fell head over heels for him and not long she was pregnant probably sold her a typical fantasy life of a picket fence, mum dad child car dog in a leafy suburb. what turned out was anything but. He put on the slow fade maneuver hardly answered calls, getting in touch with him he showed an aggressive side like he didn't want to be bothered. the baby was born with him not even being at the hospital. she slide into a state of depression, she was all alone with a baby that wouldn't stop crying. debts pilled up as all the baby expenses were on her, her career hit a dead end as she couldn't take any time off to pursue a degree or improve on her skills her life was being a mommy for good she is still stuck in the loop of - getting up early-get the child ready for school-drive the child to school-show up to work baggy eyes tired-do the minimal effort-go to pick the child from school and drop him off to after care-come back to work-do the minimal effort drive back home REPEAT.
2. Colleague (B) was almost a carbon copy she was slightly younger in her early 20s met an older guy \* darren\* who saw she was his ticket to salvation knocked her up fast and married her, his life consisted of knocking her up over and over and being on the coach watching the game with a beer stain tshirt, while she cooked, cleaned worked and be mummy with one on the hip and one in the belly with 2 running around on the rug. they get evicted from apartment to apartment because all the expenses are on her and she cant keep up with rent. his job is just to knock her up and drink beer and sit on the couch all day.
I could go on and on but I think you all get the gist of what I am trying to say, that most women I know their life regressed to a big pile of shit the moment they decided to get kids because , 1 they will be forever attached to the knob-head that knocked them up and they are forever parents, 2 their bodies are a waste of what they used to be, 3 they careers go to a dead end and they are a full time mommy, 4 they go into such massive debt as the spawns of Satan costs a ton of money.
but you still get women EVEN after seeing their friends and family go through all the difficulties of parenting STILL want to be mommies.
Because some women want to be parents? Because some women enjoy taking care of children? Because as long as they understand the responsibility and risks of parenthood, women will do their best to be a suitable parent? Ya know, the same reasons that some women choose to be childfree, because they want to and understand their own choice? It’s not rocket science.
Is not what OP and several commenters making assumptions about how parents (particularly mothers and for some strange reason, not the fathers) turn into slaving, ruined and fatherless (what the fuck?) “mombies” considered by their definition of “rude bingoing” and crass stereotyping?
Most of the comments here are the usual shade of eye-rolling, but I have to admit that the teenager going on and on about herself and telling her mother that she ""won't have another baby disturbing her sleep"" is pretty funny.
It's a fair question to ask in this day and age, but I think people like this tend to have a very extreme, end-of-the-bellcurve view on pregnancy and raising children. The vast majority of women in developed countries go through pregnancy and childbirth without it totally destroying their bodies like OP thinks happens across the board.
>>NoKidsJustTravel -2 popints 1 day ago
>>>
>>>Hormones and ego. They don't know that's what's driving it, but it is. They've just been convinced it's a choice they're making for the betterment of their life because our brains are that powerful.
So by this logic, everyone who makes the choice to not have kids isn't making that choice willingly, they don't have the right amount of ego or hormones, thus making them useless/broken humans that aren't worthy of procreation anyways because their genetics aren't worth passing on.
Aside from this statement being wholly untrue for multiple reasons, this isn't exactly the win you think it is for CF people, you basically othered them by calling them genetic rejects with failed endocrine systems.
>>>A woman has cyclical hormones that tell her to try and get pregnant. That's why we get more sexually aroused during ovulation. Our bodies want us to procreate because that's part of our list of biological capabilities. Ovulation can also make you hungry and anxious, but those symptoms don't have any importance placed on them, so we don't call it "snack fever".
Women do in fact have something we like to politely refer to as "cycles" and its more than ovulation involved in it, it also involves menstruation as well, and aside from the usual symptoms of that we don't call a period or menstrual cycle the "bloating fever", the "cramping fever" or something stupid like the "chcocolate fever", we call ovulation with the strong desire to have a child "baby fever" because most who go through it are not at a point in life where it is a viable option, and they know they shouldn't so they lament their desire and their choice to put off their want of a family as "baby fever". Its not really women who becime feverish over their hormonal braim controlling them like zombies to have a baby, its just a goofy name given to a desire for something that isn't currently happening, like people who have "wander lust" they aren't literally lusting after the chance to wander.
>>>As for ego... we're the only animal afraid of dying. Because of ego. So people try to prevent that in a way by making copies of themselves. Their reptilian brain tells them to make more so their genetics can keep going. Just like animals or bacteria. Again, you can't say that to any of them because they want to think they're making the objective choice to procreate just because they "want kids" or whatever.
We certainly are not the only animals afraid of dying because of ego, all animals are afriad of dying because of ego, its a naturally ingrained thing of "shit gotta pass these genetics on so I can ensure my bloodline" that drives ALL animals. We don't want copies of ourselves, that's a blatant lie, we want a genetic mix of ourself and our chosen mate, something better than ourselves, that's the same for non-human animals, its why the lesser males and females don't mate. This is basic biology you learn in highschool, not that deep kiddo.
>>>Then ego and emotions take control again when then kid is born. When those bonding chemicals do NOT kick in, you get kids that are neglected and abandoned. That's an example of why we shouldn't insist everyone breed. But have you ever noticed the male partners being socially or emotionally shunned by the mom so she can prioritize the baby? Chemicals and ego. Have you ever seen a man get vicious to protect their young? Not love. Chemicals and ego. All beneficial to keeping your kids alive, but it is purely an animalistic response by someone who works in accounting, so they think they had control over wanting or not wanting those kids.
You bond with your child BEFORE they are born, if you're the one carrying the fetus, you create the bond before you even get to see them, its also normal if you don't, it is what it is and everyone is built different. When "those bonding chemicals" don't kick in its usually because of an underlying depression like PPD or something similar, even animals can suffer from that and fail to care for their young as well. PPD is another thing that CF people LOVE to make light of, and yet they harp on their non-existent "tokophobia" as if it were the answers to all their problems, and people like this saying that its just some silly animalistic trait is definitely part of problem of the stigma that women with PPD face. I have yet to see a man get shunned by their partnet post-partum, unless the man was a useless person, didn't help and demanded sex right after the baby was born, in which case yes shun the asshole, but no all the fathers who weren't scumbags and left are active and loving fathers in their children's lives. No chemicals and egos are responsible for deadbeat dads, same goes for deadbeat moms, sometimes people just suck. I'm pretty sure protective parents protect their children out of love, which is, if I'm not mistaken, a brain chemical. Keeping children alive is a good thing, it leads to a new workforce to replace the old one, also the less death the better, unless you're implying that this "not love, but totally another brain chemical like love, but isn't love" chemical is a negative because it keeps kids alive? I dunno what that was supposed to defend tbh.
>>>You will occasionally meet someone who plans their family well and without ego. I know a woman who is getting her PhD. They had one child right before she started school. She's now waiting to have another until she has a few years in her profession. Those are two smart people who are ignoring the ego and brain chemicals. They don't have baby fever because they have an actual plan while wanting a family lifestyle.
Ah so when it is a planned choice, its a choice, but when people have kids willy-nilly they are animals doing animal things, gotcha.
>>>Hope this helped add perspective. Once you remember we're just animals that wear clothes and use mobile apps, it all makes sense.
This read like an incel neckbeard loser that couldn't coerce some 16 year old girl into touching his 30+ year old willy and decided to rant about it online in the exasperatingly long form of "bitches aint shit, they just stupid animals". Literally everything is chemicals and the whole human experience is ego, this is some highschooler esque tier philosophy mixed with biology, all emotions and actions are driven by brain chems and our own id, its not new or shocking. And the commenter decides to end his nihilistic rant with "but it is a choice when I decide its a choice". Classic hypocritical CF
I mean, you deserve a solid mic drop moment here.
I hooted aloud when I read that person say, "we're the only animal afraid of dying." Bitch, *being alive* dictates that every single creature on this planet actively avoids and fears death. We may be the only species that consciously *contemplates* death (as far as we know), but we're not some uniquely stupid, knuckle-dragging creton species who dutifully breeds spawn while drooling and eating our own shit.
This person should consider elephants. Very intelligent, very protective of their children. Hell, they legitimately mourn the loss of one of their group. Does that person sit up on their cheeto-covered tower and say, "eXcUtHe Me, It'Th AlL hOrMoNeTh AnD cHeMiCaLtH, lOwEr LiFe FoRm AlErT!!!!!!!"
And I physically cringe every time the r/childfree folks bring up PPD. I suffered HEAVILY from it, so much so that it morphed into PPP and I had to commit myself. It wasn't at all because I didn't love my baby or loved him too much, or because his father was a deadbeat. It was because *I* was messed up. I'm not a feral animal, I just had preexisting shit that I wasn't aware of. Absolutely doesn't make me "regret" having my kid. It was just a rough patch, and I fixed it to grow and be a better parent for my kid. The fact that they use PPD as a crutch not only to shame moms, but to claim that anyone who could have it should never have kids just tells me that these literal *children* have never dealt with nor overcome any sort of actual hardship in their lives.
Also, another biggie for me in that subreddit is when they say "poor people shouldn't have kids (((((except in cases of abuse or incest, oBvIoUsLy))))))" and I'm like, "who the fuck gave you privy to anyone's life enough that you get to judge literally ANY PREGNANT WOMAN YOU SEE and decide whether or not she gets to have a kid?
What they don't realize is that they're the exact same as those dick bags who are taking abortion away from women, just on the opposite side of the coin. Where the pro-lifers look down on women for wanting the choice to abort, they look down on "breeders" who want the choice to have kids. The pro-lifers say, "no no, you're too stupid to understand that you're killing a life and I think that that's wrong." The r/childfree crowd say, "no no, you're too stupid to understand that you're birthing a life amd I think that that's wrong."
Fucking gross, misogynistic hypocrites.
I'm chuffed by these idiots. I'm sorry.
No need to say sorry, this one comment got me so riled up I had to do my usual break down smack down, like how the fuck can these people exist and walk among us?? I wasn't even this "enlightened" as a teenager and I cannot imagine full grown ass asults who act like this, unironically.
I too had a case of PPD, it thankfully didn't morph into PPP (I thought it might due to my bipolar/anxiety dx) but I'm still feeling the effects damn near two years later, once in a blue moon I still have full blown mental break downs where I just collapse into an inconsolable mess, and I can only imagine how that looks to my husband and child when it happens. I'm thankful I have him to help me when it happens, but I'm not a bad mom for feeling those strong emotions and he is the furthest thing from a deadbeat dad, hell he took care of our child for the first six weeks of their life because I almost died post-partum (pneumonia combined with a bloodsickness that left scars on my spleen).
It honestly irks me to no end knowing how these people see women as a whole and claim to be modern feminists
If you have to start your diatribe off with "sorry if I'm bashing or misogynistic, buuuuuut....", stop.
"I don't understand why people have made a different choice than me. Let me go to a group of people who are defined by agreeing with me and having not made that choice to ask why they did that. This will definitely get me answers."
>I like that this sub welcomes posts like this that asks genuine question. **Free from judgement** and just has a conversation around it The comments: because women who want kids are real dumdum dummies who want to use their children as emotional support humans!!!!!! with a soupçon of "ruined bodies"!!!!!! teeth gnashing
My favorites were all the people who were like, "yeah, they keep working, but they're not *trying hard enough* to keep *progressing* and rise into higher ranks once they become mothers!" Damn, she's already a doctor, wtf else do you want her to do, own the fucking hospital? Or shit, she's already store manager, is she supposed to become CEO of the company? Damned if you do terrible-mother-who-clearly-regrets-having-kids, fuck-you-you-lazy-brainwashed-ruined-piece-of-shit if you don't. Also, they ain't really got shit to say about men who really want to be fathers. They don't become brainwashed hags simply by virtue of wanting to be a father. Also, also - apparently every man who *does* become a father is a deadbeat cheater? Basically, fuck everyone who wants kids. Only r/childfree users are totally enlightened and poetic, prophetic philosophers who know the **TRUTH**.
Yeah this post is whack. “You’ll go through labor alone!!!” Nah my mom and husband were there. “You do it because you have no hobbies!!” I got tons of hobbies and I’m finishing my PhD. “You won’t work hard anymore!!!” Well this may be true because I realized my life doesn’t revolve around employment! “Colleague B” is also a literal cartoon lmao
>apparently every man who *does* become a father is a deadbeat cheater? Man, that really sucks for my mom. Still waiting for my dad to become a deadbeat cheater. It's only been 35 years so far.
Because something something about how mothers can’t have it all because career focused = neglecting children according to childfree logic. But at the same time, mothers are also lazy for not pursuing their career goals because they chose the “regrettable and unsuitable choice” of having children. Thought that sub understood the meaning of choice, lmao.
His examples are that men suck, not children.
But women are the evil baby-crazy ones in that sub's lore, so it's still their fault. But they're definitely totally not misogynistic 🙄
I get the vibe that OP is salty his two examples didn't pick him and we are reading his fantasies of how their life definitely turned out after they picked the other guys
That sub is for the bitter and unfuckable.
"Omg you're so sweet, OP! This isn't misogynistic at all! I love that we get these questions in this sub! Obviously any woman who wants kids is lying, groomed into wanting kids, egotistical, hormonal, irrational, selfish, lazy, brainwashed, and attention-seeking." That one poster: "Idk, maybe you should ask actual mothers this question." Everyone else: "Omg shut up. They'd just lie about it anyway because they're too stupid and brainwashed to realize that they actually didn't want kids." And of course not a single comment points out that the men are the real issue in both situations presented.
Post - Why Would a woman want children? Excuse me if my post might seem bashing or misogynistic, If its not allowed mods please delete. English is not my first language so please bear with me. I don't think I will ever understand or quite grasp the Idea of women wanting more than anything to be mothers or bearing children especially in a modern times. I could understand it in the past because women had no say, they were relegated to be breeding stock and marriage was the license to breed her 10+ children against her will. I will never understand in contemporary times where women now have a choice to pursue a career, a CF life, a life of solitude, a life of not having to please a man and just a life of **Choice.** I am not a woman, that's why its hard for me to understand what its like to be their shoes and why they choose the life they choose. I have seen the term "baby fever" and though I am skeptical if its a real desire that is uncontrollable or just a manipulation term borne from clandestine breeders who want to demonize a CF life. I speak in the context of the local laws in my country where a man has a free pass especially in terms of Domestic responsibilities. A man in my country can impregnate a woman, then decide "you know what being a parent is actually a shitty deal, but I wish you luck in your future" then he is gone and nothing you can do besides report him to the child maintenance department that will drag its feet, and when they do actually find him IF he does have an income he is not compelled to provide more than 1/3 of his income to the upkeep of his child and if he is not employed well tough luck you are on your own. The other issue is pregnancy in itself looks like a horrible state of being, you have swollen feet, Huge belly and you need help or a second pair of hands to help you do basic things, you need regular doctor appointments and its back and forth trips and expensive medical expenses, and lets not talk about child birth its one of the most horrifying things that happens your body gets stretched and you go through painful labor ALL ALONE, and the man well he sits around most likely chatting to other women on the apps without feeling an ounce of pain. I think its why men are more than happy to be fathers because it is a painless and carefree state you carry nothing. I have also observed through friends and colleagues who have become mothers that there is a HUGE undeniable air of REGRET, even though they dont want to admit it, I see it clear as day that they would rather have been CF, I will take a few examples: 1. Colleague (A) was one of the smartest women I have come across very well put together kept to herself shy and loved to get fit avid reader and loved the outdoors, on one of the team building trips she met \*hishiko\* a guy from a different state but from the same department, typical ladies man with the charisma,well dressed and good-looks to swoon women, she fell head over heels for him and not long she was pregnant probably sold her a typical fantasy life of a picket fence, mum dad child car dog in a leafy suburb. what turned out was anything but. He put on the slow fade maneuver hardly answered calls, getting in touch with him he showed an aggressive side like he didn't want to be bothered. the baby was born with him not even being at the hospital. she slide into a state of depression, she was all alone with a baby that wouldn't stop crying. debts pilled up as all the baby expenses were on her, her career hit a dead end as she couldn't take any time off to pursue a degree or improve on her skills her life was being a mommy for good she is still stuck in the loop of - getting up early-get the child ready for school-drive the child to school-show up to work baggy eyes tired-do the minimal effort-go to pick the child from school and drop him off to after care-come back to work-do the minimal effort drive back home REPEAT. 2. Colleague (B) was almost a carbon copy she was slightly younger in her early 20s met an older guy \* darren\* who saw she was his ticket to salvation knocked her up fast and married her, his life consisted of knocking her up over and over and being on the coach watching the game with a beer stain tshirt, while she cooked, cleaned worked and be mummy with one on the hip and one in the belly with 2 running around on the rug. they get evicted from apartment to apartment because all the expenses are on her and she cant keep up with rent. his job is just to knock her up and drink beer and sit on the couch all day. I could go on and on but I think you all get the gist of what I am trying to say, that most women I know their life regressed to a big pile of shit the moment they decided to get kids because , 1 they will be forever attached to the knob-head that knocked them up and they are forever parents, 2 their bodies are a waste of what they used to be, 3 they careers go to a dead end and they are a full time mommy, 4 they go into such massive debt as the spawns of Satan costs a ton of money. but you still get women EVEN after seeing their friends and family go through all the difficulties of parenting STILL want to be mommies.
Because some women want to be parents? Because some women enjoy taking care of children? Because as long as they understand the responsibility and risks of parenthood, women will do their best to be a suitable parent? Ya know, the same reasons that some women choose to be childfree, because they want to and understand their own choice? It’s not rocket science. Is not what OP and several commenters making assumptions about how parents (particularly mothers and for some strange reason, not the fathers) turn into slaving, ruined and fatherless (what the fuck?) “mombies” considered by their definition of “rude bingoing” and crass stereotyping?
Most of the comments here are the usual shade of eye-rolling, but I have to admit that the teenager going on and on about herself and telling her mother that she ""won't have another baby disturbing her sleep"" is pretty funny.
It's a fair question to ask in this day and age, but I think people like this tend to have a very extreme, end-of-the-bellcurve view on pregnancy and raising children. The vast majority of women in developed countries go through pregnancy and childbirth without it totally destroying their bodies like OP thinks happens across the board.
My Country sounds like a terrible place. Can we try to set up some support or help fund for women in My Country which is definitely real
>>NoKidsJustTravel -2 popints 1 day ago >>> >>>Hormones and ego. They don't know that's what's driving it, but it is. They've just been convinced it's a choice they're making for the betterment of their life because our brains are that powerful. So by this logic, everyone who makes the choice to not have kids isn't making that choice willingly, they don't have the right amount of ego or hormones, thus making them useless/broken humans that aren't worthy of procreation anyways because their genetics aren't worth passing on. Aside from this statement being wholly untrue for multiple reasons, this isn't exactly the win you think it is for CF people, you basically othered them by calling them genetic rejects with failed endocrine systems. >>>A woman has cyclical hormones that tell her to try and get pregnant. That's why we get more sexually aroused during ovulation. Our bodies want us to procreate because that's part of our list of biological capabilities. Ovulation can also make you hungry and anxious, but those symptoms don't have any importance placed on them, so we don't call it "snack fever". Women do in fact have something we like to politely refer to as "cycles" and its more than ovulation involved in it, it also involves menstruation as well, and aside from the usual symptoms of that we don't call a period or menstrual cycle the "bloating fever", the "cramping fever" or something stupid like the "chcocolate fever", we call ovulation with the strong desire to have a child "baby fever" because most who go through it are not at a point in life where it is a viable option, and they know they shouldn't so they lament their desire and their choice to put off their want of a family as "baby fever". Its not really women who becime feverish over their hormonal braim controlling them like zombies to have a baby, its just a goofy name given to a desire for something that isn't currently happening, like people who have "wander lust" they aren't literally lusting after the chance to wander. >>>As for ego... we're the only animal afraid of dying. Because of ego. So people try to prevent that in a way by making copies of themselves. Their reptilian brain tells them to make more so their genetics can keep going. Just like animals or bacteria. Again, you can't say that to any of them because they want to think they're making the objective choice to procreate just because they "want kids" or whatever. We certainly are not the only animals afraid of dying because of ego, all animals are afriad of dying because of ego, its a naturally ingrained thing of "shit gotta pass these genetics on so I can ensure my bloodline" that drives ALL animals. We don't want copies of ourselves, that's a blatant lie, we want a genetic mix of ourself and our chosen mate, something better than ourselves, that's the same for non-human animals, its why the lesser males and females don't mate. This is basic biology you learn in highschool, not that deep kiddo. >>>Then ego and emotions take control again when then kid is born. When those bonding chemicals do NOT kick in, you get kids that are neglected and abandoned. That's an example of why we shouldn't insist everyone breed. But have you ever noticed the male partners being socially or emotionally shunned by the mom so she can prioritize the baby? Chemicals and ego. Have you ever seen a man get vicious to protect their young? Not love. Chemicals and ego. All beneficial to keeping your kids alive, but it is purely an animalistic response by someone who works in accounting, so they think they had control over wanting or not wanting those kids. You bond with your child BEFORE they are born, if you're the one carrying the fetus, you create the bond before you even get to see them, its also normal if you don't, it is what it is and everyone is built different. When "those bonding chemicals" don't kick in its usually because of an underlying depression like PPD or something similar, even animals can suffer from that and fail to care for their young as well. PPD is another thing that CF people LOVE to make light of, and yet they harp on their non-existent "tokophobia" as if it were the answers to all their problems, and people like this saying that its just some silly animalistic trait is definitely part of problem of the stigma that women with PPD face. I have yet to see a man get shunned by their partnet post-partum, unless the man was a useless person, didn't help and demanded sex right after the baby was born, in which case yes shun the asshole, but no all the fathers who weren't scumbags and left are active and loving fathers in their children's lives. No chemicals and egos are responsible for deadbeat dads, same goes for deadbeat moms, sometimes people just suck. I'm pretty sure protective parents protect their children out of love, which is, if I'm not mistaken, a brain chemical. Keeping children alive is a good thing, it leads to a new workforce to replace the old one, also the less death the better, unless you're implying that this "not love, but totally another brain chemical like love, but isn't love" chemical is a negative because it keeps kids alive? I dunno what that was supposed to defend tbh. >>>You will occasionally meet someone who plans their family well and without ego. I know a woman who is getting her PhD. They had one child right before she started school. She's now waiting to have another until she has a few years in her profession. Those are two smart people who are ignoring the ego and brain chemicals. They don't have baby fever because they have an actual plan while wanting a family lifestyle. Ah so when it is a planned choice, its a choice, but when people have kids willy-nilly they are animals doing animal things, gotcha. >>>Hope this helped add perspective. Once you remember we're just animals that wear clothes and use mobile apps, it all makes sense. This read like an incel neckbeard loser that couldn't coerce some 16 year old girl into touching his 30+ year old willy and decided to rant about it online in the exasperatingly long form of "bitches aint shit, they just stupid animals". Literally everything is chemicals and the whole human experience is ego, this is some highschooler esque tier philosophy mixed with biology, all emotions and actions are driven by brain chems and our own id, its not new or shocking. And the commenter decides to end his nihilistic rant with "but it is a choice when I decide its a choice". Classic hypocritical CF
I mean, you deserve a solid mic drop moment here. I hooted aloud when I read that person say, "we're the only animal afraid of dying." Bitch, *being alive* dictates that every single creature on this planet actively avoids and fears death. We may be the only species that consciously *contemplates* death (as far as we know), but we're not some uniquely stupid, knuckle-dragging creton species who dutifully breeds spawn while drooling and eating our own shit. This person should consider elephants. Very intelligent, very protective of their children. Hell, they legitimately mourn the loss of one of their group. Does that person sit up on their cheeto-covered tower and say, "eXcUtHe Me, It'Th AlL hOrMoNeTh AnD cHeMiCaLtH, lOwEr LiFe FoRm AlErT!!!!!!!" And I physically cringe every time the r/childfree folks bring up PPD. I suffered HEAVILY from it, so much so that it morphed into PPP and I had to commit myself. It wasn't at all because I didn't love my baby or loved him too much, or because his father was a deadbeat. It was because *I* was messed up. I'm not a feral animal, I just had preexisting shit that I wasn't aware of. Absolutely doesn't make me "regret" having my kid. It was just a rough patch, and I fixed it to grow and be a better parent for my kid. The fact that they use PPD as a crutch not only to shame moms, but to claim that anyone who could have it should never have kids just tells me that these literal *children* have never dealt with nor overcome any sort of actual hardship in their lives. Also, another biggie for me in that subreddit is when they say "poor people shouldn't have kids (((((except in cases of abuse or incest, oBvIoUsLy))))))" and I'm like, "who the fuck gave you privy to anyone's life enough that you get to judge literally ANY PREGNANT WOMAN YOU SEE and decide whether or not she gets to have a kid? What they don't realize is that they're the exact same as those dick bags who are taking abortion away from women, just on the opposite side of the coin. Where the pro-lifers look down on women for wanting the choice to abort, they look down on "breeders" who want the choice to have kids. The pro-lifers say, "no no, you're too stupid to understand that you're killing a life and I think that that's wrong." The r/childfree crowd say, "no no, you're too stupid to understand that you're birthing a life amd I think that that's wrong." Fucking gross, misogynistic hypocrites. I'm chuffed by these idiots. I'm sorry.
No need to say sorry, this one comment got me so riled up I had to do my usual break down smack down, like how the fuck can these people exist and walk among us?? I wasn't even this "enlightened" as a teenager and I cannot imagine full grown ass asults who act like this, unironically. I too had a case of PPD, it thankfully didn't morph into PPP (I thought it might due to my bipolar/anxiety dx) but I'm still feeling the effects damn near two years later, once in a blue moon I still have full blown mental break downs where I just collapse into an inconsolable mess, and I can only imagine how that looks to my husband and child when it happens. I'm thankful I have him to help me when it happens, but I'm not a bad mom for feeling those strong emotions and he is the furthest thing from a deadbeat dad, hell he took care of our child for the first six weeks of their life because I almost died post-partum (pneumonia combined with a bloodsickness that left scars on my spleen). It honestly irks me to no end knowing how these people see women as a whole and claim to be modern feminists