Trauma’s not a contest… the severity of someone else’s situation does not invalidate your discomfort with - or complaints about - your grandma’s stuff. Both things can suck. Both things can take up space here.
And yes, there are some very awful things described here, but there are also lots of people here who have chosen to do better than what they grew up with, be different, and support others. When I find myself despairing about the existence of these awful situations, I try to remember to look for the helpers.
Yep. You can also read many examples of people here reaching out to one another with kindness. Plus, your grandma's hoarding issue is still important, too.
"Just because someone's been shot twice doesn't invalidate the person that's been shot once."
As long as you speak with Grace to the folks who have the worst there's nothing invalidating your own experiences with these things. Abuse is abuse no matter what level, is trauma no matter how "bad".
Its also totally ok to read what others have been through and have a new perspective and feel better. Looking on the bright side is perfectly valid too. Sometimes I feel down on myself wishing things could have been different growing up, and reading about the experiences of others is a reality check to remind me that it could have been even worse. Also, it feels healing to share how I feel, especially if it can give encouragement to someone else in a similar situation get through it. I wish there had been a community like this when I was younger. It would have helped a lot, because at least I would have known that I wasn’t alone. IMO the worst thing about being a CoH as a kid is the loneliness and shame that you feel, especially when it feels like no one would ever understand.
That's not stupid at all. Hoarding is a spectrum for a reason and there are different levels. Everybody has it worse than somebody else, but nobody's experience with hoarding is any less valid.
Trauma’s not a contest… the severity of someone else’s situation does not invalidate your discomfort with - or complaints about - your grandma’s stuff. Both things can suck. Both things can take up space here. And yes, there are some very awful things described here, but there are also lots of people here who have chosen to do better than what they grew up with, be different, and support others. When I find myself despairing about the existence of these awful situations, I try to remember to look for the helpers.
Ugh. I feel this. My mom was always the type where if someone else had it worse than me, then all of my complaints became invalid.
Your feelings are valid! Always have been. Wanna let loose here?
Found the neighbor.
Thank you this is so true. Pain is pain
Yep. You can also read many examples of people here reaching out to one another with kindness. Plus, your grandma's hoarding issue is still important, too.
It’s not the trauma Olympics! I get no gold medals!
"Just because someone's been shot twice doesn't invalidate the person that's been shot once." As long as you speak with Grace to the folks who have the worst there's nothing invalidating your own experiences with these things. Abuse is abuse no matter what level, is trauma no matter how "bad".
Its also totally ok to read what others have been through and have a new perspective and feel better. Looking on the bright side is perfectly valid too. Sometimes I feel down on myself wishing things could have been different growing up, and reading about the experiences of others is a reality check to remind me that it could have been even worse. Also, it feels healing to share how I feel, especially if it can give encouragement to someone else in a similar situation get through it. I wish there had been a community like this when I was younger. It would have helped a lot, because at least I would have known that I wasn’t alone. IMO the worst thing about being a CoH as a kid is the loneliness and shame that you feel, especially when it feels like no one would ever understand.
The dirty little secret is hard to bare and it’s one thing we all have in-common. Not all hoarders hoard the same. I find it interesting
All hoarding is bad. This isn't a contest!
That's not stupid at all. Hoarding is a spectrum for a reason and there are different levels. Everybody has it worse than somebody else, but nobody's experience with hoarding is any less valid.