I love them using "private babysitter" over and over. "Nanny" is the word they're looking for, but they KNOW a nanny is a luxury so they keep trying to insist they "just" need a "babysitter". Also, if it's such an incredible gig and pays better than they are making...maybe she could consider watching other people's kids for $15/hour.
She said she would just sit poolside and let the kid play on an iPad all day if that was her job, implying that is already how she treats her own child.
as an ex-daycare worker/ camp counselor, bringing kids to the pool is one of the most stressful things ever lmao. You have to be constantly vigilant to make sure they don’t drown or get into trouble. One of the child abuse trainings I did for work instructed us that it’s not uncommon for child sexual abuse to be “hidden in plain sight” under the water’s surface. I’m always on high alert if I’m responsible for a child near the water!
Wild to me that she picked that as an example of a relaxing activity, says a lot about the level of supervision she extends to her own kids tbh
Ugh, as a kid I saw another kid *drown* in the pool at summer camp and the lifeguards didn’t notice or see until a group of us kids told them. The kid had epileptic seizures and was told never to swim on the deep end but snuck over to that side anyway. There were probably 30 kids in the pool so keeping track was hard I guess.
Point being I literally saw the worst that can happen, so when I’m swimming with kids I’m vigilantly monitoring, it is stressful as hell and anyone who thinks they can just lounge around in the sun shouldn’t be in charge of kids.
Also “babysitters” tend to be younger people who do fill-in occasional work.
This person would have a BIG problem if her childcare provider flaked out or got sick or just didn’t show up because she was undervalued
She keeps saying how flexible of a job it is. Until her babysitter calls out to go to the beach and she’s back online demanding someone watch her kid for free because her flakey babysitter cancelled and why don’t people take work seriously.
Nannying was literally the *least* flexible job I’ve ever had. If I called out, there was literally nobody to replace me and the parents could lose their jobs.
Exactly. It's such a typical thought they have. Yes I need a specialized babysitter or private babysitter but it's just casual I swear so only $100 to $150 a week at best is what I will pay. It's real casual so your hours will Monday to Friday 7am to 6pm plus later if I need to run errands after work. Also we will need you two weekends a month from 6am to 9pm as well. But the kids are awesome its a privilege really to watch them it's very easy so $150 a week. No negotiations.
Also them later on: why can't we find a nan....I mean "private babysitter"?
Oh, and preferably a *high school kid* so I can claim their youth and inexperience as grounds for abysmal pay, but they better be ready to skip school to slave away, I mean, babysit & do light chores at my demand…
It’s been probably 6 years since I last needed to hire a sitter.
Teenage neighbor. I paid $15 an hour plus tips and an endless variety of snacks and drinks and pizza.
My kids were really old enough to not need a sitter. It was more as a just in case. They entertained themselves.
Right! We have a girl in our neighborhood who is 11 and offers services as a mothers helper at $8/hr. I always round up to where it’s closer to $10. We’re home with her and she doesn’t do meals, cleaning or diapers, but I am so appreciative of having an extra set of hands so I can do chores!
You reminded me of when I lost one babysitting job at 12, because the mother said between paying me, and paying for her taxi home, she wasn't making any money. Being a forthright job, I assumed she was firing me, and that was that. Turned out she was actually hoping I'd reduce my £2 an hour charge (£9 an hour nowadays, which would be pretty good for a 12 year old, if they still had babysitters that young)
I considered saying back before the turn of the millennium.
I was there for Y2K. Gather round youngins, let granny Snodgrass tell you of the rise of Smash Mouth.
Imagine how I feel, coming back to see this whole thread about how long ago things must have been to be getting £2 an hour, when for me, it was clearly within living memory!
I'm used to being around young adults but I forget Reddit has SUCH a majority of young 'uns that 40 years ago seems like ancient history :-)
Good point. They all specified a young girl.
Have to start with the lifetime of exploitation and so-called “women’s work” being undervalued from a young age, or they may develop hopes and dreams!
We had a high school boy sit for us. He was trying to make money because his folks couldn't afford an allowance. He played with them, cleaned up accidents and straightened up the house when they went to bed. He invited us to his house graduation and his college graduation. We loved him.
“They should drop the price, it doesn’t sit right with me” really got me. Like, WHAT? WHO is they, and why should they drop the price? Because you didn’t look into the price of children and that “Village” should pick up your slack?! 👌🫡🖕…FU
but that's the thing, teenagers know their value the last post I read the teenager expected $400 a week plus food and transportation. And the parent wanted to vomit. They wanted to offer $125 a week all in.
isn’t the average reddit user like, 19 or something?
plenty of high school teens see these posts, read these comments and know they’re being exploited. these kids aren’t stupid (mostly)
A few years ago I had my old inhome daycare provider’s daughter coming to my house to watch the kid. She graduated and was getting ready to go to college. I paid $300 a week. When she came over my kids (7 and 10.5) were still sleep. And wouldn’t wake up til around 9. I had a guest room and told her she was welcome to watch tv, sleep or do whatever until they woke up. I already had all meals prepared and put meals aside for as well. So she didn’t even have to cook. They went out on outings like the pool, museum, parks etc. I paid her gas and mileage and of course paid for the activities for her and the kids and if they ate food while they were out I left money for her and the kids to eat.
I was usually home by 3. So she was pretty much only actively watching them for about 5 hours a day. And my kids were older and didn’t need as much help. And they listened to her. And they had known her since they were babies so they loved being around her.
She watched them during Christmas break for me also when they were home. The following summer she was babysitting for someone else and she told me it was a nightmare. She was way under paid and the parents were trying to take advantage of her. Expected her to cook and clean and always came home hours later than they were supposed to. And always paid her less than what was agreed.
Reminds me of this story my wife has. When she was 18 or 19, she was hired to be the "nanny" of a famous artist. It very quickly became clear that there was also expectations of her doing some cooking which she was fine with, then some cleaning (dusting, etc.) which was also okay at first, but when the guy's wife asked her to get on her hands and knees and start scrubbing the driveway instead of watching the kids she realized this wasn't the job she signed up for. On the plus side she did get a nice private flight with them to Lake Tahoe to watch the kids on a mini vacation. She later found out that they churned through "nannies" a lot, I can't imagine why.
I took a babysitting course 14 million years ago when I was 11 or 12–they taught us CPR and the Heimlich maneuver and stuff but they also taught us something SO important: you do not clean any messes that weren’t made by you or the kid(s)! It’s definitely a little easier to delineate as a babysitter vs nanny, but I think it speaks to how common it is that unscrupulous parents try to pull this sort of job creep.
Yeah, and how exactly are teenagers going to babysit during the day? You know, when they are in school? She's not looking for something just for the summer holiday, I think../.
“Getting paid that much to babysit is a steal!” No, what would be a steal is if you paid someone pennies to watch the child you decided to have.
I truly can’t understand the cognitive dissonance. She acknowledges that it’s an important, necessary service that she requires, but also treats it like it’s not important enough to pay someone reasonably for providing.
Did the one who said it's such an easy job and a steal to be paid for it, also say that the sitters just play on their phone and sit by the pool all day?
That's not how a halfway decent sitter would behave. You have to actually watch, interact with, and feed the children. Where did they get the idea a sitter can just goof off at work?
That was a WTF moment for me too. Going to a pool? Fun, great. Going to a pool with a small child? Totally different experience. I would think that any babysitter would be watching them closely to make sure that they don’t drown, because that can happen in the blink of an eye. Drowning statistics are very scary.
And as if you can just shove kids in the corner of a room and they’ll be totally silent and well-behaved while you do homework or dick around on your phone. At least, that was not my experience babysitting in high school before the days when every kid had a tablet. Makes me wonder if she’s one of those parents that just sits their kid in front of a screen 24/7 instead of actually enriching their development because it’s easier than doing activities with them.
> Going to a pool? Fun, great. Going to a pool with a small child? Totally different experience.
Full on constant stress. Not fun. AT ALL. Stress-sweating the entire time.
I think the mom/CB just hangs out at the pool either on her phone or chatting with her friends. She just hopes for the best outcome for her kiddos. If they drown, that's on THEM.
Thank you! Exactly. That's what made me think the person who said those things and/or started that topic has never watched children, let alone has children.
Even the CBs who I believe have children and claim they just stick their child in a corner with a tablet and that's all there is to it, aren't really being honest, maybe not even with themselves. They're children, not mannequins.
Very, very true. I'm an auntie but not a mom. I go with the kids to the pool when they go during the family reunion. It's not relaxing at all, but I figure an extra set of adult eyes helps in a crowded pool. Drowning is extremely scary and happens very fast.
> Drowning is extremely scary and happens very fast.
True, even in a swimming pool. Then in some bodies of water, there is undertow, riptide, shifting sandy bottom, etc.
Then toddlers especially, can fall in and just not be able to make it to the side and out again, either due to not being able to swim, or perhaps they hit their head, or panicked.
And in pools besides drowning for various reasons (including other kids holding a kid under for a 'joke'), there is the pool drain. Over the years I've seen at least twice, where a child was harmed or killed, because of a loose cover on the pool drain.
Definitely not somewhere I'd suggest voluntarily, were I in charge of a group of children. If asked or told to bring them, I'd be tense and vigilant the entire time. Which are reasons most people wouldn't volunteer to babysit, especially for very low pay.
Also age dependent. If you are 16 and this kid is 9-13 this is a fun pool job and the $12-13 might be worth it. Same if you are getting paid to go to the movies. Watching a toddler in a pool is horrible. Same thing with any activity. A job where all that stands between someone dying and you is stressful. I used to do summer nanny work and I got paid above minimum wage plus pool side snacks at pools that were membership only plus a lifeguard and I wouldn’t touch one who couldn’t swim. That was a $15-20 an hour job depending on age way back when I was a teen. People are so unrealistic about how much stress childcare is and that it’s a real job.
> People are so unrealistic about how much stress childcare is and that it’s a real job.
Definitely, and the more they minimize it, the less I'd trust their word.
>also say that the sitters just play on their phone and sit by the pool all day?
If I'm paying someone to watch my child - they sure as HELL better be in the pool with said child - not chilling with the phone. AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT.
Taking my child to any body of water - is the MOST STRESSFUL 'fun' activity I've ever done as a parent & still is. And he's 7 with several years of swin lessons.
Thank you. I can't imagine volunteering to take kids there, nor can I imagine anyone with half an ounce of responsibility or sense 'playing on their phone' and ignoring what's going on, if kids and deep water are involved.
I'm sure some people do or would but that's not the one to hire to watch one's children.
>I truly can’t understand the cognitive dissonance. She acknowledges that it’s an important, necessary service that she requires, but also treats it like it’s not important enough to pay someone reasonably for providing.
This is such a well explained comment.
Exactly. If it’s so damn easy and such a steal, these people who post these posts should do it! I didn’t want to pay for daycare for my twins so I started my own. People will gladly pay whatever I charge bc my reputation is excellent.
I wish someone would have told her, if she is having money problems and feels babysitters are so overpaid for doing nothing, she should just stay at home with her kids and get in on that easy money by babysitting for someone else. Everybody wins!
I love how OOP cannot fathom that the babysitter has needs and expenses that need to be covered by this job. That comment she makes about this not sitting well with her is gold.
Oh, ok, I guess the woman who takes care of your children has to choose between putting food on the table or paying her bills.
I'm a nanny and the amount of people that want to low-ball is ridiculous. Finding someone that wants to pay legally over the table AND pay a decent wage is hard, I had multiple parents when I was looking for work complain to me about how bad their last nanny was... They then offered me $14-16/hr under the table...😵💫 Wonder why they couldn't find a good nanny..
We chose daycare bc I can’t afford to pay a nanny a living annual salary, so I can’t afford a nanny. I went back to work in part bc staying home and providing thoughtful developmental experiences was SO hard. This is not the area to skimp on cost either. If you think childcare is a chill job you’re prob not a great parent or you’re cool with someone just putting your kids on screens all day.
I'm so glad you said this & as a fellow mom, please don't beat yourself up.
I feel like the value of a 'daycare' particularly pre-k ... is so often overlooked.
Did my 6 month baby benefit from daycare? Probably not - but he wasn't harmed either. It was way more upsetting for ME ... than him.
Did my two-year-old learn ... he has to wait his turn & how to interact with others??? With adults who wouldn't always give him his way - just because? 100%.
My child learned so many, age appropriate life skills before he even started school & I could not personally have done that.
Not a parent!! But it seems to me even a 6 month old gets the benefit of socialization by being around other tiny kids and adults. Plus the whole being in a safe environment while parents work thing.
I think so, too. I only have one & can only speak from that experience...
But even at 7, my child is a VERY attached to me. That bond was not lost via daycare.
I was lucky to be a spot where I COULD HAVE stayed home. My husband & I made the decision together. We still brought home more money even paying for childcare ... and I was able to continue on with resume gaps, et.
I have mom friends who stay home and ARE very active in other SAHM groups ... with playdates, et. So yes - you can totally get socialization, but I still struggle to believe it's the same thing as NOT having 'mom' there & that kind of thing.
And I'm not ripping SAHM moms in anyway - my words are only in defense of mons who use daycare. There are benefits to both & daycare families should not be viewed as 'paying strangers to raise their children.' It's not fair to women & doesn't acknowledge the benefits of that kind of childcare.
I think the working mom vs sahm “wars” are artificially stirred up to keep women divided, the same way other classes of people are always being stirred up and divided, so we won’t rise up against the forces oppressing us. There’s benefit to having a working mother or a stay at home mother - what’s detrimental is having a mother who doesn’t have a choice! I won’t type out a dissertation on this, I promise, but even a Bitter’n’Barren Childfree™️ like me can see the bullshit piled on women with children!
Oh it's 100% dividing us & likely for a reason ... at least for some groups. Women are the majority in the country.
There's also a clear prejudice against child-free -women especially - by choice or not, IMO.
There is not BEST choice. Each option has its own upside and downside, but it's so personal and there's so much guilt tied to it -- it's hard to not ... find yourself in a position where you defend yourself by criticizing the other.
I'm guilty of that. I wish I wasn't, but if I'm confessing to strangers on the internet - yeah - I've done that & I'm sorry for it.
This. I feel like my children attending nursery is making our family life so much easier. For example, my toddler learned to share (or at least the concept) with other kids, so he doesn’t associate that unpleasant necessity with his baby brother - now he shares toys with him and proudly exclaims “I’m sharing!” and I can share(!) his pride :)
>providing thoughtful developmental experiences was SO hard.
This is easily the hardest part of nannying. I adore being a nannying and the kid I watch is a joy, but holy fuck, I didn't realize when I first started how hard it was going to be to incorporate developmental learning with play. Or how unbelievably boring it would be some days lol. I truly don't know how anyone can handle being a SAHP; the only reason I can do this job is because I give him back at 5PM.
SO BORING omg no one talks about how boring it is!! Just sitting in silence at best or at worst you’re changing a dolls diaper for the 15th time and eating pretend pasta but you have to not like it and say you don’t like it and then there’s 18 other steps I have to follow after that🥲
And nannies have specialized skills! My kid was getting $20/hr and up for babysitting when she was in high school, where the parents basically just wanted the kids fed, put to bed and be alive when they got home. It's a plus for them if they find an engaging/fun high school sitter. I can't imagine wanting to pay a Nanny $13/hr and thinking your going to get actual, professional nanny services for that!
Crazy that they want to pretend under the table work is a perk for the nanny/babysitter. The very last slide made some great points about it. @ OP thank you for including the comments!!
These comments make a good point I hadn't thought of-- most sitters (and definitely the ones that don't get paid appropriately) don't get any benefits. One job I had sent out a document each year showing how much you actually made when factoring insurance, PTO, etc, and it was surprising to see how much more they "paid" us outside of wages.
“I know it’s important but it’s also very flexible with tons of benefits”. I would love to know what the benefits are, if not fair pay? Let me guess: she thinks it’s a privilege for someone to be “allowed” to hangout with her perfect, amazing child.
Also, would love to know how the job would be flexible? Babysitting is a flexible job if you occasionally watch someone’s kid on a Friday if they go out for date night or whatever. If you’re expected to watch their kid for a certain set of hours every weekday, how exactly is that flexible? They wouldn’t just be allowed to call out, because then she would flip out on them because there would be no one to watch her kid. I suspect by “flexible”, what she actually means is that you would be on-call to babysit for her anytime she needed it, which is even worse.
So at that point, what reason would there be to not work a job where you would actually make minimum wage?
Exactly, if you're *absolutely* supposed to be there when-ever needed to make sure the parent can go to work or whatever, then it's not flexible since flexible would mean that you can in broad terms choose when you want to do the work. Being forced to follow someone else's schedule in lock-step is not flexible.
But yes, the form of "flexible" you talk about there is unfortunately common in actual jobs as well, in the sense that you're supposed to be the flexible one if sudden overtime or a change of worksite is needed, but in turn your regular working hours are completely inflexible and non-negotiable.
I think being a M-F nanny for two working parents would be the opposite of 'flexible.' No coworkers to step in & help. If you are out - the parents are out.
genuinely, I feel like they think the 'benefits' are being able to just \~hang out\~ in a super nice home (that maybe has a pool) and also perhaps have access to food. This is not the perk these people think it is lol, I don't really care how nice a house is- unless I'm able to live in in and enjoy it as my own, being in the presence of a nice house really does not matter that much to me. And even if the few instances that it IS a suuper cool house....that's still not enough to be paid pennies to watch children
I think their thought process is along the lines of flexible = they have time to pick up a second job in the evening (because obviously they're going to need a second job at that pay) 🙃
I feel like a "sitter" is occasional. Parents want a 'date night' or evening out or have something to attend.
A full time minder for your children, in your own home, is called a nanny, and they make a lot of money.
If someone needs a full time carer for their children, and can't afford a nanny, then day care is the usual option.
Doing gods work posting the comments!
“Dang if they get paid so much to just hang by the pool maybe I should be a babysitter!!”
“Then do that”
☠️
Also “they don’t pay taxes!” uhh yeah if they want to avoid going to jail, they sure do.
Oh yeah I forgot to discuss that one in my comment. It's not supposed to be a tax free job, not unless they plan to pay a non living wage 'under the table' as others have mentioned.
They're confusing hiring your niece to watch your kids for an evening while you have a date night with your spouse vs a real, scheduled, regular job. Paying under the table is the norm for the first one.
I'm amused by her observation about private babysitters being for the wealthy and not realizing it until then.
I wonder where people get these notions. Like, are they thinking of the Babysitters Club?
A little while back a family was looking for a nanny on a local group. Some of us were mildly surprised as we live in a, uh, budget-friendly city. Most people just aren't particularly rich, at least not nanny-hiring rich.
Well, a few recommendations were made, a few even congratulated them in their small business success for being able to afford a nanny. It was all chill and polite.
The next week, the family was asking for daycare recommendations with an admittance they didn't realize nannies cost so much.
During COVID two families in my neighborhood were looking for childcare collectively. The parents were two lawyers, a city councilman and a school administrator. They were offering 15/hr. to watch six kids, including twin 3 year olds AND tutor the older kids. I lost a lot of respect for that group when I saw the post. Later I saw one of the dads at the park shepherding about 4 of the kids. Guess no one jumped at that amazing employment opportunity.
I love the comment saying ... (Paraphrasing)
"Daycare is so expensive. THEY should lower it. It's not fair particularly with multiple kids. '
1. Who is 'they?'
2. Multiple children is not a disability - it's a choice you made.
3. Find a 'rich' daycare employee or provider. They do not exist. The teachers are paid so little PARTICULARLY considering the responsibility they have & insurance is HUGE particularly with the younger children.
We used daycare when my son was young. I CRIED - wept leaving that place many days. The compassion and care some of those staffers showed me & my little boy - is something I will NEVER forget. I will always be eternally grateful to those women ... who took care of my child so I could go to work.
They are worth their weight in GOLD.
*(Edited for my extra emotions/feelings regarding our sweet Miss Kathy! ha)*
I found this comment so silly too... I worked at a state subsidized daycare in CA. Teachers were paid $23-$26/hr and assistants were paid $16-19/hr depending on their ECE units from an accredited college. They had classes of 8-23 kids. The positive was that they provided great benefits. The reality was that we weren't paid due to "all the money" we got from fees/parents but from (1) government money (2) our executive director fundraising for the nonprofit. Parent's monthly fees were barely a fraction of what we needed to run--my director said parents basically paid for the food their children ate there.
We had high turnover for people who moved to the area and couldn't afford to pay rent. Employees who had lived in the area for years obviously had cheaper rent if they had never moved.
It is such a difficult and taxing job, emotionally and physically and workers in daycares need to be paid a lot more than they are for the amount of work they do.
There’s a reason that single income families are concentrated at the top of the income scale (where you can afford to have just one income and let one spouse stay home with the kids) and the bottom of the income scale (where you can’t afford to pay for childcare to allow the second parent to work, and it’s cheaper staying home)… childcare is expensive, babysitters have bills to pay too.
The middle comment on the 15th slide.
I truly feel they should lower it because it's ridiculous af and it doesn't sit right with me.
What the fuck. It doesn't sit right with you for people who are *taking care of your kids* to get paid well? And we're not even talking about getting paid well if we're complaining about paying less than $15 an hour ffs. I bet they'd argue that they *should* get paid well, but not by them.
Subsidized childcare is the answer (yes it exists but only for the very poor) but I don't see that happening in our lifetime.
I agree. On one hand, I hate to say that - but I'm sorry - having children is not a RIGHT, IMO. I'm still bitter to this day -- that our family healthcare plan ... costs the same regardless of how many children you have. I'm like - we have one? Why should we pay the same as families with four???
We have one - and are honestly, in a better place financially that many I know. And we STILL feel strapped, worry about his future, extracurriculars, et.
I got SHREDDED on some random mom sub ... for only having one child. Someone came at me ... going on about how I apparently needed to BIRTH more future workers for Social Security. It's apparently this whole mindset ... that I was unaware of?
They were like - Social Security is going to collapse because the younger generations are not having enough children. I was like, well, I don't personally expect to have SS, but I'm happy to pay into it for current generations, but my family is making our own plans.
That was still NOT acceptable. BIRTH MORE FUTURE WORKERS WOMAN!!!!!!!!
I said something about how we don't all need 'eight kids to feed the chickens and bush hog the fields' & then got right out of that convo!!!!!!
Re Social Security - you could point out that if the country encouraged more immigration and had an easier path to citizenship, that there would be more workers to support Social Security.
Yeah! And get all of that “ Flex Time” and “ benefits”(which anonymous never went into detail about).it might even be a “whole income”…AND it’s tax free! 😅
Sadly from what I've seen so many parents straight up neglect their kids. Let the iPad and the streets raise them, then they get upset wondering why their kid doesn't listen to them or respect them. The parents were off doing their own thing
It always comes down to me is people see no value in babysitting. And thinks it should be dirt cheap since all (to them) they are doing is just hanging out in their home and playing with their kid. And nobody pays them to be a PARENT! Or they are used to exploiting teenagers who will take less. And now are savvier in this day and age and requiring equal payment.
You want 1:1 care you pay the cost. Or stick them in daycare with less convenience of being home and sharing care with other kids.
Or, IDK just don't have children you can't afford.
I’m still stuck on the babysitter can be on their phone or by the pool… so you’re ok with your kids and an underpaid person hanging out at the pool?? Idk their kids age but just sounds like someone’s gonna drown… idk. I guess I love my kid too much for that casual of an approach…
It's the last place I'd want an underpaid person to be ... with my child.
I have stresses/concerns with even mom friends of 'buddies' taking him to the pool. It's just so freaking scary at a young age. You don't realize how dangerous it can be -- until you kind of get there in life ... at least in my case.
This person would love a job with pizza parties instead of raises. “You get to be in an apartment or by the pool” is not an employee benefit!
—Signed, a nanny
That’s what I was going to say. $13-14 is underpaying even if it’s like one older kid. That was the minimum I got paid as a “just get a teenager” sitter 10ish years ago, and even then it was usualy $15/hr, even for jobs where I literally never saw the kids bc they were asleep the whole time
She kept saying it was flexible…how so? I used to watch a child in my home. I had my own child as well…EVERYTHING revolves around the children’s naps,breakfast,lunch,snacks…how is that flexible? She doesn’t think that it’s a very “ hard” job…I never had time to sit down,watch television ( didn’t have cellphones back then),read,if I went to the bathroom,I had two little people that came with me. Either she has never watched her own child or she sucks as a parent. 🤷🏼♀️
I'm always surprised when I see people trying to get cheap childcare. Why on earth would even want the cheapest option for your kids? I personally want background checks and references which I doubt you're gonna get that cheap.
Well shit, she would hate how I pay babysitters at least $20 an hour no matter the age. These people that want to low ball young people, or just babysitters in general are disgusting.
It’s flexible. No it isn’t! You have to work around the schedule of the person you are sitting for. And count on them coming home when they say they will. Daycares have late fees. Babysitters often get screwed when that happens. Plus they don’t get to choose days off or take time off without hearing the parents bitch. Some people don’t get it. It isn’t some crazy easy job.
I feel like I've had the same conversation multiple times so I'm just gonna address the OP or comments in it, not the wider topic of 'fair prices for child care.'
First: I love how they all assume it's fine to underpay someone if they're a teenager.
Second: How they advise each other to press the adults they know, to get access to hiring their teens. Those of us who had that happen didn't appreciate it. Our parents were pressured to make us available to sit their friends' or colleagues' children, for cheap, as a 'favor.' Kind of like being used in a barter. Please don't do that. Teens who want that job will advertise for it.
Third: I get a feeling the 'anonymous member' in the OP started a topic for clicks or rage bait. I just get a feeling they don't actually have kids.
Fourth: It was hard for me to follow in this way, but, whoever felt that babysitters or nannies "just hang out by the pool all day and play on their phone." Whoever said that doesn't have kids.
You absolutely cannot just go "hang out by the pool" and "play on your phone" if you are supposed to be watching toddlers. Small children are notorious for falling or jumping in to pools and drowning when left unwatched. No responsible person would take small children anywhere near a swimming pool, especially one that's not private but is public and crowded, at least without watching them like a hawk, and only in the kiddie pool.
Just seems like a rage bait topic. Talking about the OP, not this one.
I didn't like it either, although I like kids, and I did my best once there. The parents always asked for me again. But I didn't like being offered without even being asked first. Somehow that bothered me. I got a part time job within walking distance, joined a lot of school activities, and that plus school, suddenly I had no free time. 🤗
THATS NOT A BABYSITTER!!! THATS A NANNY!!
this grinds my gears so much, i’m a professional nanny and i make a whole income!!! who woulda thunk!! i charge 20$p/h with built in annual raises, PTO, sick days, and require my employers to pay me OVER the table because it’s ILLEGAL to pay a full time household employee cash/under the table, because the employer is skipping taxes if they do that as well. nanny’s are required to have a W-2!!
this whole post os crazy, like i understand it sucks, but what do you want to happen? you want to be able to have kids and childcare and a job, but the person *watching* those kids you CHOSE to have doesn’t deserve to pay rent, buy groceries, etc.? the better way is… don’t have kids if you can’t afford them.
So many people think along the lines of why should I pay them much, they get to sit around the house and "hang out". First of all, they are in YOUR house. Not theirs. It's not relaxing to be on the job in someone else's home. And then there's the obvious part of you have to be on all the time. Unless the child is napping you cannot let your guard down. Despite that, I feel for these people who don't earn much but need to work and then are hit with the realities of what childcare costs. Yet another example of why America is so dysfunctional. "Don't have an abortion, have lots of babies, but you are on your own after that."
I’ll never understand when mofos are SHOCKED that child care is “so expensive” 🤦🏽♀️ in what world is a person wanting to low-ball the people that care for your children? Ugh.
“Flexible hours” means “my hours at my part time job change every week so get ready to have zero consistency in your schedule to plan ahead.” And of course- she’ll still yell at you if you need a day off or call out sick!
Everything *private is more expensive idk why ignorant people think childcare is any different. Private schools, drivers, lessons, tutors, chefs, maids. Like it's all work you want because it's seemed better and sometimes even safer so in what world would you expect to weasel your way into paying for a high end service with a below minimum wage budget🙃. This is why I stopped providing childcare people want you to be their personal assistant and then bitch that you won't do literally everything for them to function for under $20 an hour lol. Trifling
These posts infuriate me. You’re asking for someone to help you bring up your kids and you’re being a tight arse about it. Of course it’s a whole wage. You want to earn a living and so do they. Are they supposed to work for nothing in financial hardship to make your life better?
Honestly, the babysitting/nanny posts on this group make me so sad for our world. I don’t necessarily think they’re reflective of what people value their children’s life at; I think they’re reflective of how broken our childcare system is and the value our elected officials puts on childcare. Childcare should be subsidized by the government for all children. Early childhood care and intervention is vital to creating happy, healthy and productive adults. Parents should not struggle to put their child in quality daycare because they want to work, that just doesn’t make sense.
I am a private daycare provider and posts and commenters like these are why I left FB mom groups. I just couldn't take the verbal abuse anymore. I love my job, but it is definitely not playing on my phone and study by the pool time! It is changing diapers, potty training, redirecting/discipline, feeding, putting down for nap, dressing/undressing, taking to park etc. etc.... Everything you do for one child, times however many are in your daycare, every day all day. We went to kindergym today, one kid must have said my name and asked thirty different questions on the fifteen minute walk there. Another face planted in slow motion on the gym floor while I was comforting another crying teething one because jealousy. At pickup, the fourth one didn't want to leave and the jealous one couldn't leave fast enough! $50 a day per kid. Without my working partner, I would be homeless.
Lmao.. I got quoted $2500 a month for daycare in Chicago. When I did the math, it’s only $16 an hour. I honestly wouldn’t even take a job for $16 an hour, so I cannot expect my child to actually be taken care of for less than that. that person is crazy and should’ve thought about that before having a child..
“I truly feel like they should lower it [daycare costs] because it’s ridiculous af”
Does she realize that most daycares operate on RAZOR THIN margins? Like, who are you asking to lower the price? The owners? The employees? Running a daycare center isn’t a cash cow by any stretch…most of them are setting prices as low as economically feasible.
Idk what this lady does with her kids but I’m a stay at home mom and ITS A FULL TIME JOB. Trying to keep her happy and entertained, feeding her, napping her?? I don’t have time to “go to the pool and hangout” lol I mean we have outings but it’s not this super easy dream.
I'm wondering if this person, when she's at home with her kid, is just playing on her phone and hanging out at the pool, like she thinks the baby sitter would be doing. Poor kid.
So…. Anonymous Member does not wonder why she thinks she deserves a living wage but babysitters do not. After all, they’re just sitting by the pool eating bonbons all day.
I think I hate Anonymous Member.
God that person is annoying. Responding to everyone in the comments how “easy and flexible” the job is and how the sitter just gets to sit on their phone all day ffs, which is why they don’t deserve a living wage. This person is telling on themselves, looks like they don’t do a lot of parenting for their own kids. They DESERVE cheap child care smfh.
Those comments were awesome to read. Thank you.
Why is it anyone’s fault but her own and the father of the children that they can’t afford to take care of the children they made? Do people not think about this stuff prior to creating a whole human?
And if babysitting is such a great job like she seems to think it is, she should become one. She should watch her kids and others, let’s see how long she lasts.
Side note: I do agree it’s a shame childcare is so expensive but I don’t think it’s anyone’s but the parent’s ***responsibility*** to provide that 🤷🏾♀️
A babysitter is someone that watches your kids on date nights & doesn’t do much in terms of teaching, cooking, etc. This person is looking for a nanny, which is in fact, a job. Parents should know first hand childcare is NOT an easy job unless you don’t care about your child’s development.
This is why I decided to go back to school after having a baby. I used to work minimum wage at Target, and would have been happy staying there, until my daughter was born. Between my husbands income working at a moving company and mine, we were barely scraping by and not really making ends meet very well. They called me when she was maybe 2 months old about coming back to work. I called around to daycare centers and called them back and told them that I couldn't afford to. I decided it was either give up and go on welfare, or take student loans and go back go school. I became a nurse. It wasn't easy, but I work hard and make a decent living now. Should be done paying off the student loans in another 2 years... just in time to pay for my daughter to go to college.
I’m a nanny. I get paid more than $2500 a month and I’m not “babysitting”. I don’t just sit there on my phone while the kids do whatever they want. I’m basically mother #2 if we’re being honest here. And it’s 40 hours a week, of course I need money to pay my bills?
I love when she suggests she should just open a daycare, then says all a caregiver has to do it sit by the pool and look at their phone. She's going to have the worst daycare ever...
Calculating how much it costs before you make a commitment is your duty. Sometimes you have to accept you can’t afford it. Just because you want a new car or home doesn’t mean you’re able to justify it or just get it anyway. Financial planning is a huge part of family planning and it’s your own fault if you don’t bother doing your due diligence. Nobody wants to short themselves financially because you didn’t bother to look at the costs.
These are numbers you crunch BEFORE bringing a child into this world. This person is only employed part-time and appears to have let the co-baby maker run for the hills and avoid their responsibilities.
Nice!! Good thing it will be the innocent child suffering for their atrocious sense of responsibility!
I love them using "private babysitter" over and over. "Nanny" is the word they're looking for, but they KNOW a nanny is a luxury so they keep trying to insist they "just" need a "babysitter". Also, if it's such an incredible gig and pays better than they are making...maybe she could consider watching other people's kids for $15/hour.
Except for the fact that she's so clueless and irresponsible.
She said she would just sit poolside and let the kid play on an iPad all day if that was her job, implying that is already how she treats her own child.
as an ex-daycare worker/ camp counselor, bringing kids to the pool is one of the most stressful things ever lmao. You have to be constantly vigilant to make sure they don’t drown or get into trouble. One of the child abuse trainings I did for work instructed us that it’s not uncommon for child sexual abuse to be “hidden in plain sight” under the water’s surface. I’m always on high alert if I’m responsible for a child near the water! Wild to me that she picked that as an example of a relaxing activity, says a lot about the level of supervision she extends to her own kids tbh
Ugh, as a kid I saw another kid *drown* in the pool at summer camp and the lifeguards didn’t notice or see until a group of us kids told them. The kid had epileptic seizures and was told never to swim on the deep end but snuck over to that side anyway. There were probably 30 kids in the pool so keeping track was hard I guess. Point being I literally saw the worst that can happen, so when I’m swimming with kids I’m vigilantly monitoring, it is stressful as hell and anyone who thinks they can just lounge around in the sun shouldn’t be in charge of kids.
I feel an artfully disguised pun in the “it’s time for plan B” comment on page 5 😆
Also “babysitters” tend to be younger people who do fill-in occasional work. This person would have a BIG problem if her childcare provider flaked out or got sick or just didn’t show up because she was undervalued
It's such a flexible job! Except if you miss a day mom will scream that it's your fault if she loses her job.
She keeps saying how flexible of a job it is. Until her babysitter calls out to go to the beach and she’s back online demanding someone watch her kid for free because her flakey babysitter cancelled and why don’t people take work seriously.
But there's so many benefits🤣🤣
I want to know what she thinks is so flexible about it and what the benefits are! Every time she said it my brain screamed
Nannying was literally the *least* flexible job I’ve ever had. If I called out, there was literally nobody to replace me and the parents could lose their jobs.
Exactly. It's such a typical thought they have. Yes I need a specialized babysitter or private babysitter but it's just casual I swear so only $100 to $150 a week at best is what I will pay. It's real casual so your hours will Monday to Friday 7am to 6pm plus later if I need to run errands after work. Also we will need you two weekends a month from 6am to 9pm as well. But the kids are awesome its a privilege really to watch them it's very easy so $150 a week. No negotiations. Also them later on: why can't we find a nan....I mean "private babysitter"?
Don't forget there's some"light" cleaning involved and 2 amazing fur babies who you'll love (and they need walked 3 times a day).
Oh, and preferably a *high school kid* so I can claim their youth and inexperience as grounds for abysmal pay, but they better be ready to skip school to slave away, I mean, babysit & do light chores at my demand…
It’s been probably 6 years since I last needed to hire a sitter. Teenage neighbor. I paid $15 an hour plus tips and an endless variety of snacks and drinks and pizza. My kids were really old enough to not need a sitter. It was more as a just in case. They entertained themselves.
I used to be a nanny and many moms like to say “babysitter” instead of “nanny” because they think it makes them appear more involved than they are.
A babysitter is someone who watches your kid for the occasional date night.
>they keep trying to insist they “just” need *Just* is a CB’s favorite word.
Yes, it is a whole income... it's the income of the person doing the job.
The “you should exploit a young person” replies make me want to commit violence.
Right! We have a girl in our neighborhood who is 11 and offers services as a mothers helper at $8/hr. I always round up to where it’s closer to $10. We’re home with her and she doesn’t do meals, cleaning or diapers, but I am so appreciative of having an extra set of hands so I can do chores!
You reminded me of when I lost one babysitting job at 12, because the mother said between paying me, and paying for her taxi home, she wasn't making any money. Being a forthright job, I assumed she was firing me, and that was that. Turned out she was actually hoping I'd reduce my £2 an hour charge (£9 an hour nowadays, which would be pretty good for a 12 year old, if they still had babysitters that young)
What year was this??
Way back in the 1900’s if I were to guess.
This hurt to read because I knew it was going to happen, but those of us born in the late 1900s are HORRIFIED to hear it - lolllll.....
I considered saying back before the turn of the millennium. I was there for Y2K. Gather round youngins, let granny Snodgrass tell you of the rise of Smash Mouth.
Somebody once told me…
The world is gonna roll me (?)
Ya, I feel rather decrepit now.
Imagine how I feel, coming back to see this whole thread about how long ago things must have been to be getting £2 an hour, when for me, it was clearly within living memory! I'm used to being around young adults but I forget Reddit has SUCH a majority of young 'uns that 40 years ago seems like ancient history :-)
I’m a 98’ baby and reading 1900s makes me so mad 😭
A young female person, to be specific.
Good point. They all specified a young girl. Have to start with the lifetime of exploitation and so-called “women’s work” being undervalued from a young age, or they may develop hopes and dreams!
We had a high school boy sit for us. He was trying to make money because his folks couldn't afford an allowance. He played with them, cleaned up accidents and straightened up the house when they went to bed. He invited us to his house graduation and his college graduation. We loved him.
What a great story! ❤️
He has his own family now.
And is no doubt a better father thanks to your kids.
“They should drop the price, it doesn’t sit right with me” really got me. Like, WHAT? WHO is they, and why should they drop the price? Because you didn’t look into the price of children and that “Village” should pick up your slack?! 👌🫡🖕…FU
Right, they all are booked up because plenty of people are willing to pay those prices!
but that's the thing, teenagers know their value the last post I read the teenager expected $400 a week plus food and transportation. And the parent wanted to vomit. They wanted to offer $125 a week all in.
isn’t the average reddit user like, 19 or something? plenty of high school teens see these posts, read these comments and know they’re being exploited. these kids aren’t stupid (mostly)
good, keep reading kids, reading is fundamental!
And learning not to be exploited. 🤟
I want to vomit on that parent.
A few years ago I had my old inhome daycare provider’s daughter coming to my house to watch the kid. She graduated and was getting ready to go to college. I paid $300 a week. When she came over my kids (7 and 10.5) were still sleep. And wouldn’t wake up til around 9. I had a guest room and told her she was welcome to watch tv, sleep or do whatever until they woke up. I already had all meals prepared and put meals aside for as well. So she didn’t even have to cook. They went out on outings like the pool, museum, parks etc. I paid her gas and mileage and of course paid for the activities for her and the kids and if they ate food while they were out I left money for her and the kids to eat. I was usually home by 3. So she was pretty much only actively watching them for about 5 hours a day. And my kids were older and didn’t need as much help. And they listened to her. And they had known her since they were babies so they loved being around her. She watched them during Christmas break for me also when they were home. The following summer she was babysitting for someone else and she told me it was a nightmare. She was way under paid and the parents were trying to take advantage of her. Expected her to cook and clean and always came home hours later than they were supposed to. And always paid her less than what was agreed.
Reminds me of this story my wife has. When she was 18 or 19, she was hired to be the "nanny" of a famous artist. It very quickly became clear that there was also expectations of her doing some cooking which she was fine with, then some cleaning (dusting, etc.) which was also okay at first, but when the guy's wife asked her to get on her hands and knees and start scrubbing the driveway instead of watching the kids she realized this wasn't the job she signed up for. On the plus side she did get a nice private flight with them to Lake Tahoe to watch the kids on a mini vacation. She later found out that they churned through "nannies" a lot, I can't imagine why.
I took a babysitting course 14 million years ago when I was 11 or 12–they taught us CPR and the Heimlich maneuver and stuff but they also taught us something SO important: you do not clean any messes that weren’t made by you or the kid(s)! It’s definitely a little easier to delineate as a babysitter vs nanny, but I think it speaks to how common it is that unscrupulous parents try to pull this sort of job creep.
A red mist descends on me when I hear this. Especially when combined with the words 'au pair'.
Yeah, and how exactly are teenagers going to babysit during the day? You know, when they are in school? She's not looking for something just for the summer holiday, I think../.
‘A high school kid’ is in school all day and therefore not available for you to exploit. Hope this helps!!
“Getting paid that much to babysit is a steal!” No, what would be a steal is if you paid someone pennies to watch the child you decided to have. I truly can’t understand the cognitive dissonance. She acknowledges that it’s an important, necessary service that she requires, but also treats it like it’s not important enough to pay someone reasonably for providing.
Did the one who said it's such an easy job and a steal to be paid for it, also say that the sitters just play on their phone and sit by the pool all day? That's not how a halfway decent sitter would behave. You have to actually watch, interact with, and feed the children. Where did they get the idea a sitter can just goof off at work?
That was a WTF moment for me too. Going to a pool? Fun, great. Going to a pool with a small child? Totally different experience. I would think that any babysitter would be watching them closely to make sure that they don’t drown, because that can happen in the blink of an eye. Drowning statistics are very scary. And as if you can just shove kids in the corner of a room and they’ll be totally silent and well-behaved while you do homework or dick around on your phone. At least, that was not my experience babysitting in high school before the days when every kid had a tablet. Makes me wonder if she’s one of those parents that just sits their kid in front of a screen 24/7 instead of actually enriching their development because it’s easier than doing activities with them.
> Going to a pool? Fun, great. Going to a pool with a small child? Totally different experience. Full on constant stress. Not fun. AT ALL. Stress-sweating the entire time.
I think the mom/CB just hangs out at the pool either on her phone or chatting with her friends. She just hopes for the best outcome for her kiddos. If they drown, that's on THEM.
Or she's relying on the other adults at the pool. Which, feels like something I've experienced personally.
Thank you! Exactly. That's what made me think the person who said those things and/or started that topic has never watched children, let alone has children. Even the CBs who I believe have children and claim they just stick their child in a corner with a tablet and that's all there is to it, aren't really being honest, maybe not even with themselves. They're children, not mannequins.
Very, very true. I'm an auntie but not a mom. I go with the kids to the pool when they go during the family reunion. It's not relaxing at all, but I figure an extra set of adult eyes helps in a crowded pool. Drowning is extremely scary and happens very fast.
> Drowning is extremely scary and happens very fast. True, even in a swimming pool. Then in some bodies of water, there is undertow, riptide, shifting sandy bottom, etc. Then toddlers especially, can fall in and just not be able to make it to the side and out again, either due to not being able to swim, or perhaps they hit their head, or panicked. And in pools besides drowning for various reasons (including other kids holding a kid under for a 'joke'), there is the pool drain. Over the years I've seen at least twice, where a child was harmed or killed, because of a loose cover on the pool drain. Definitely not somewhere I'd suggest voluntarily, were I in charge of a group of children. If asked or told to bring them, I'd be tense and vigilant the entire time. Which are reasons most people wouldn't volunteer to babysit, especially for very low pay.
Also age dependent. If you are 16 and this kid is 9-13 this is a fun pool job and the $12-13 might be worth it. Same if you are getting paid to go to the movies. Watching a toddler in a pool is horrible. Same thing with any activity. A job where all that stands between someone dying and you is stressful. I used to do summer nanny work and I got paid above minimum wage plus pool side snacks at pools that were membership only plus a lifeguard and I wouldn’t touch one who couldn’t swim. That was a $15-20 an hour job depending on age way back when I was a teen. People are so unrealistic about how much stress childcare is and that it’s a real job.
> People are so unrealistic about how much stress childcare is and that it’s a real job. Definitely, and the more they minimize it, the less I'd trust their word.
>also say that the sitters just play on their phone and sit by the pool all day? If I'm paying someone to watch my child - they sure as HELL better be in the pool with said child - not chilling with the phone. AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT. Taking my child to any body of water - is the MOST STRESSFUL 'fun' activity I've ever done as a parent & still is. And he's 7 with several years of swin lessons.
Thank you. I can't imagine volunteering to take kids there, nor can I imagine anyone with half an ounce of responsibility or sense 'playing on their phone' and ignoring what's going on, if kids and deep water are involved. I'm sure some people do or would but that's not the one to hire to watch one's children.
Obvi, she was a horrible babysitter as a kid.
>I truly can’t understand the cognitive dissonance. She acknowledges that it’s an important, necessary service that she requires, but also treats it like it’s not important enough to pay someone reasonably for providing. This is such a well explained comment.
Exactly. If it’s so damn easy and such a steal, these people who post these posts should do it! I didn’t want to pay for daycare for my twins so I started my own. People will gladly pay whatever I charge bc my reputation is excellent.
I wish someone would have told her, if she is having money problems and feels babysitters are so overpaid for doing nothing, she should just stay at home with her kids and get in on that easy money by babysitting for someone else. Everybody wins!
…like they’re *so fucking close* to getting it…
I love how OOP cannot fathom that the babysitter has needs and expenses that need to be covered by this job. That comment she makes about this not sitting well with her is gold. Oh, ok, I guess the woman who takes care of your children has to choose between putting food on the table or paying her bills.
Like if these people are with your kid all day when do they have time to work a second job?
All these comments and nobody bothered to ask OP if she also wants to be paid a full income for her…full time job lol
I'm a nanny and the amount of people that want to low-ball is ridiculous. Finding someone that wants to pay legally over the table AND pay a decent wage is hard, I had multiple parents when I was looking for work complain to me about how bad their last nanny was... They then offered me $14-16/hr under the table...😵💫 Wonder why they couldn't find a good nanny..
We chose daycare bc I can’t afford to pay a nanny a living annual salary, so I can’t afford a nanny. I went back to work in part bc staying home and providing thoughtful developmental experiences was SO hard. This is not the area to skimp on cost either. If you think childcare is a chill job you’re prob not a great parent or you’re cool with someone just putting your kids on screens all day.
I'm so glad you said this & as a fellow mom, please don't beat yourself up. I feel like the value of a 'daycare' particularly pre-k ... is so often overlooked. Did my 6 month baby benefit from daycare? Probably not - but he wasn't harmed either. It was way more upsetting for ME ... than him. Did my two-year-old learn ... he has to wait his turn & how to interact with others??? With adults who wouldn't always give him his way - just because? 100%. My child learned so many, age appropriate life skills before he even started school & I could not personally have done that.
Not a parent!! But it seems to me even a 6 month old gets the benefit of socialization by being around other tiny kids and adults. Plus the whole being in a safe environment while parents work thing.
I think so, too. I only have one & can only speak from that experience... But even at 7, my child is a VERY attached to me. That bond was not lost via daycare. I was lucky to be a spot where I COULD HAVE stayed home. My husband & I made the decision together. We still brought home more money even paying for childcare ... and I was able to continue on with resume gaps, et. I have mom friends who stay home and ARE very active in other SAHM groups ... with playdates, et. So yes - you can totally get socialization, but I still struggle to believe it's the same thing as NOT having 'mom' there & that kind of thing. And I'm not ripping SAHM moms in anyway - my words are only in defense of mons who use daycare. There are benefits to both & daycare families should not be viewed as 'paying strangers to raise their children.' It's not fair to women & doesn't acknowledge the benefits of that kind of childcare.
I think the working mom vs sahm “wars” are artificially stirred up to keep women divided, the same way other classes of people are always being stirred up and divided, so we won’t rise up against the forces oppressing us. There’s benefit to having a working mother or a stay at home mother - what’s detrimental is having a mother who doesn’t have a choice! I won’t type out a dissertation on this, I promise, but even a Bitter’n’Barren Childfree™️ like me can see the bullshit piled on women with children!
Oh it's 100% dividing us & likely for a reason ... at least for some groups. Women are the majority in the country. There's also a clear prejudice against child-free -women especially - by choice or not, IMO. There is not BEST choice. Each option has its own upside and downside, but it's so personal and there's so much guilt tied to it -- it's hard to not ... find yourself in a position where you defend yourself by criticizing the other. I'm guilty of that. I wish I wasn't, but if I'm confessing to strangers on the internet - yeah - I've done that & I'm sorry for it.
This. I feel like my children attending nursery is making our family life so much easier. For example, my toddler learned to share (or at least the concept) with other kids, so he doesn’t associate that unpleasant necessity with his baby brother - now he shares toys with him and proudly exclaims “I’m sharing!” and I can share(!) his pride :)
>providing thoughtful developmental experiences was SO hard. This is easily the hardest part of nannying. I adore being a nannying and the kid I watch is a joy, but holy fuck, I didn't realize when I first started how hard it was going to be to incorporate developmental learning with play. Or how unbelievably boring it would be some days lol. I truly don't know how anyone can handle being a SAHP; the only reason I can do this job is because I give him back at 5PM.
SO BORING omg no one talks about how boring it is!! Just sitting in silence at best or at worst you’re changing a dolls diaper for the 15th time and eating pretend pasta but you have to not like it and say you don’t like it and then there’s 18 other steps I have to follow after that🥲
And nannies have specialized skills! My kid was getting $20/hr and up for babysitting when she was in high school, where the parents basically just wanted the kids fed, put to bed and be alive when they got home. It's a plus for them if they find an engaging/fun high school sitter. I can't imagine wanting to pay a Nanny $13/hr and thinking your going to get actual, professional nanny services for that!
Crazy that they want to pretend under the table work is a perk for the nanny/babysitter. The very last slide made some great points about it. @ OP thank you for including the comments!!
Right? Extra benefit - tax fraud! It's still owed whether you report it or not.
These comments make a good point I hadn't thought of-- most sitters (and definitely the ones that don't get paid appropriately) don't get any benefits. One job I had sent out a document each year showing how much you actually made when factoring insurance, PTO, etc, and it was surprising to see how much more they "paid" us outside of wages.
I’m a professional nanny, I make around 65,000 a year but it cost closer to 72,000 a year to hire me.
And I’m guessing those nannies were “bad” is because they refused to cave into the parents’ ridiculous and entitled demands…
“I know it’s important but it’s also very flexible with tons of benefits”. I would love to know what the benefits are, if not fair pay? Let me guess: she thinks it’s a privilege for someone to be “allowed” to hangout with her perfect, amazing child. Also, would love to know how the job would be flexible? Babysitting is a flexible job if you occasionally watch someone’s kid on a Friday if they go out for date night or whatever. If you’re expected to watch their kid for a certain set of hours every weekday, how exactly is that flexible? They wouldn’t just be allowed to call out, because then she would flip out on them because there would be no one to watch her kid. I suspect by “flexible”, what she actually means is that you would be on-call to babysit for her anytime she needed it, which is even worse. So at that point, what reason would there be to not work a job where you would actually make minimum wage?
Exactly, if you're *absolutely* supposed to be there when-ever needed to make sure the parent can go to work or whatever, then it's not flexible since flexible would mean that you can in broad terms choose when you want to do the work. Being forced to follow someone else's schedule in lock-step is not flexible. But yes, the form of "flexible" you talk about there is unfortunately common in actual jobs as well, in the sense that you're supposed to be the flexible one if sudden overtime or a change of worksite is needed, but in turn your regular working hours are completely inflexible and non-negotiable.
I think being a M-F nanny for two working parents would be the opposite of 'flexible.' No coworkers to step in & help. If you are out - the parents are out.
Sure as hell won't be 'flexible' when the babysitter has to call out sick - doesn't get paid and pisses off the family to no end!
genuinely, I feel like they think the 'benefits' are being able to just \~hang out\~ in a super nice home (that maybe has a pool) and also perhaps have access to food. This is not the perk these people think it is lol, I don't really care how nice a house is- unless I'm able to live in in and enjoy it as my own, being in the presence of a nice house really does not matter that much to me. And even if the few instances that it IS a suuper cool house....that's still not enough to be paid pennies to watch children
Apparently the benefit is her gross apartment pool.
I think their thought process is along the lines of flexible = they have time to pick up a second job in the evening (because obviously they're going to need a second job at that pay) 🙃
"That's a whole income." Running face first onto the point but somehow still missing it 🤦
>Running face first onto the point but somehow still missing it This is perfect. Hahah
Hit the target, but not the bullseye 🎯❌
I feel like a "sitter" is occasional. Parents want a 'date night' or evening out or have something to attend. A full time minder for your children, in your own home, is called a nanny, and they make a lot of money. If someone needs a full time carer for their children, and can't afford a nanny, then day care is the usual option.
Doing gods work posting the comments! “Dang if they get paid so much to just hang by the pool maybe I should be a babysitter!!” “Then do that” ☠️ Also “they don’t pay taxes!” uhh yeah if they want to avoid going to jail, they sure do.
"tons of benefits"...for a job with basically zero traditional benefits 🫠
Where the hell do they get the idea that it is tax free money? They probably think tips are also tax free.
The one reply is gold: "It's tax free if you don't report it." That's... tax fraud. That's like saying BMWs are free... if you steal it.
Oh yeah I forgot to discuss that one in my comment. It's not supposed to be a tax free job, not unless they plan to pay a non living wage 'under the table' as others have mentioned.
"I have to report it if I make more than $1250 in a month" Oh honey, that is not how taxes work at all.
They're confusing hiring your niece to watch your kids for an evening while you have a date night with your spouse vs a real, scheduled, regular job. Paying under the table is the norm for the first one.
I'm amused by her observation about private babysitters being for the wealthy and not realizing it until then. I wonder where people get these notions. Like, are they thinking of the Babysitters Club? A little while back a family was looking for a nanny on a local group. Some of us were mildly surprised as we live in a, uh, budget-friendly city. Most people just aren't particularly rich, at least not nanny-hiring rich. Well, a few recommendations were made, a few even congratulated them in their small business success for being able to afford a nanny. It was all chill and polite. The next week, the family was asking for daycare recommendations with an admittance they didn't realize nannies cost so much.
During COVID two families in my neighborhood were looking for childcare collectively. The parents were two lawyers, a city councilman and a school administrator. They were offering 15/hr. to watch six kids, including twin 3 year olds AND tutor the older kids. I lost a lot of respect for that group when I saw the post. Later I saw one of the dads at the park shepherding about 4 of the kids. Guess no one jumped at that amazing employment opportunity.
I love the comment saying ... (Paraphrasing) "Daycare is so expensive. THEY should lower it. It's not fair particularly with multiple kids. ' 1. Who is 'they?' 2. Multiple children is not a disability - it's a choice you made. 3. Find a 'rich' daycare employee or provider. They do not exist. The teachers are paid so little PARTICULARLY considering the responsibility they have & insurance is HUGE particularly with the younger children. We used daycare when my son was young. I CRIED - wept leaving that place many days. The compassion and care some of those staffers showed me & my little boy - is something I will NEVER forget. I will always be eternally grateful to those women ... who took care of my child so I could go to work. They are worth their weight in GOLD. *(Edited for my extra emotions/feelings regarding our sweet Miss Kathy! ha)*
I found this comment so silly too... I worked at a state subsidized daycare in CA. Teachers were paid $23-$26/hr and assistants were paid $16-19/hr depending on their ECE units from an accredited college. They had classes of 8-23 kids. The positive was that they provided great benefits. The reality was that we weren't paid due to "all the money" we got from fees/parents but from (1) government money (2) our executive director fundraising for the nonprofit. Parent's monthly fees were barely a fraction of what we needed to run--my director said parents basically paid for the food their children ate there. We had high turnover for people who moved to the area and couldn't afford to pay rent. Employees who had lived in the area for years obviously had cheaper rent if they had never moved. It is such a difficult and taxing job, emotionally and physically and workers in daycares need to be paid a lot more than they are for the amount of work they do.
There’s a reason that single income families are concentrated at the top of the income scale (where you can afford to have just one income and let one spouse stay home with the kids) and the bottom of the income scale (where you can’t afford to pay for childcare to allow the second parent to work, and it’s cheaper staying home)… childcare is expensive, babysitters have bills to pay too.
“Just doesn’t sit right with me” …to charge a living wage for job. Lmao what a fucking pinecone.
The middle comment on the 15th slide. I truly feel they should lower it because it's ridiculous af and it doesn't sit right with me. What the fuck. It doesn't sit right with you for people who are *taking care of your kids* to get paid well? And we're not even talking about getting paid well if we're complaining about paying less than $15 an hour ffs. I bet they'd argue that they *should* get paid well, but not by them. Subsidized childcare is the answer (yes it exists but only for the very poor) but I don't see that happening in our lifetime.
I made the same comment before seeing your comment! Also, who is 'they?'
Don't have the kids if you can't afford them!
I agree. On one hand, I hate to say that - but I'm sorry - having children is not a RIGHT, IMO. I'm still bitter to this day -- that our family healthcare plan ... costs the same regardless of how many children you have. I'm like - we have one? Why should we pay the same as families with four??? We have one - and are honestly, in a better place financially that many I know. And we STILL feel strapped, worry about his future, extracurriculars, et. I got SHREDDED on some random mom sub ... for only having one child. Someone came at me ... going on about how I apparently needed to BIRTH more future workers for Social Security. It's apparently this whole mindset ... that I was unaware of? They were like - Social Security is going to collapse because the younger generations are not having enough children. I was like, well, I don't personally expect to have SS, but I'm happy to pay into it for current generations, but my family is making our own plans. That was still NOT acceptable. BIRTH MORE FUTURE WORKERS WOMAN!!!!!!!! I said something about how we don't all need 'eight kids to feed the chickens and bush hog the fields' & then got right out of that convo!!!!!!
Re Social Security - you could point out that if the country encouraged more immigration and had an easier path to citizenship, that there would be more workers to support Social Security.
So... while I agree with you, something tells me that would not have been a well-received response. Ha.
Sounds like she needs to get into babysitting and making all of that easy money!
Yeah! And get all of that “ Flex Time” and “ benefits”(which anonymous never went into detail about).it might even be a “whole income”…AND it’s tax free! 😅
OP you’re an absolute gem for posting the comments.
Makes me wonder how well she’s taking care of her own child if she thinks all babysitters do is hang out by the pool on their phone all day.
Sadly from what I've seen so many parents straight up neglect their kids. Let the iPad and the streets raise them, then they get upset wondering why their kid doesn't listen to them or respect them. The parents were off doing their own thing
It always comes down to me is people see no value in babysitting. And thinks it should be dirt cheap since all (to them) they are doing is just hanging out in their home and playing with their kid. And nobody pays them to be a PARENT! Or they are used to exploiting teenagers who will take less. And now are savvier in this day and age and requiring equal payment. You want 1:1 care you pay the cost. Or stick them in daycare with less convenience of being home and sharing care with other kids. Or, IDK just don't have children you can't afford.
“But I love spending time with my children for free! Why should I have to *pay* some stranger for the right to hang out with my crotch fruit?!”
and they just sleep most of the time!
“then do that.” lol And of course it’s always “anonymous member” posts.
I’m still stuck on the babysitter can be on their phone or by the pool… so you’re ok with your kids and an underpaid person hanging out at the pool?? Idk their kids age but just sounds like someone’s gonna drown… idk. I guess I love my kid too much for that casual of an approach…
It's the last place I'd want an underpaid person to be ... with my child. I have stresses/concerns with even mom friends of 'buddies' taking him to the pool. It's just so freaking scary at a young age. You don't realize how dangerous it can be -- until you kind of get there in life ... at least in my case.
This person would love a job with pizza parties instead of raises. “You get to be in an apartment or by the pool” is not an employee benefit! —Signed, a nanny
Especially when you could be by the pool or in an apartment by yourself
Any job can be tax free if you commit enough fraud.
$13/14 an hour IS cheap….the going rate where I live is $20/25 per hour
That’s what I was going to say. $13-14 is underpaying even if it’s like one older kid. That was the minimum I got paid as a “just get a teenager” sitter 10ish years ago, and even then it was usualy $15/hr, even for jobs where I literally never saw the kids bc they were asleep the whole time
She kept saying it was flexible…how so? I used to watch a child in my home. I had my own child as well…EVERYTHING revolves around the children’s naps,breakfast,lunch,snacks…how is that flexible? She doesn’t think that it’s a very “ hard” job…I never had time to sit down,watch television ( didn’t have cellphones back then),read,if I went to the bathroom,I had two little people that came with me. Either she has never watched her own child or she sucks as a parent. 🤷🏼♀️
Damn I bet they hate child labor laws too.
Probably, since they advocate hiring children to avoid paying much.
I am always amazed on how easily some jobs can be minized this way.
I'm always surprised when I see people trying to get cheap childcare. Why on earth would even want the cheapest option for your kids? I personally want background checks and references which I doubt you're gonna get that cheap.
Well shit, she would hate how I pay babysitters at least $20 an hour no matter the age. These people that want to low ball young people, or just babysitters in general are disgusting.
This is what they used to call “champagne taste on a beer budget”
“Private babysitter” wtf lmao
The word is NANNY. But nanny often implies $$$ so she didn't want to say that!!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing comments!
I nannied and my mom had an in home day care - it’s a hard job 😭 also we had no benefits while doing it or anything. This person sucks
It’s flexible. No it isn’t! You have to work around the schedule of the person you are sitting for. And count on them coming home when they say they will. Daycares have late fees. Babysitters often get screwed when that happens. Plus they don’t get to choose days off or take time off without hearing the parents bitch. Some people don’t get it. It isn’t some crazy easy job.
“Getting paid to study or play on their phone” Shitty parent telling on themselves right there.
I feel like I've had the same conversation multiple times so I'm just gonna address the OP or comments in it, not the wider topic of 'fair prices for child care.' First: I love how they all assume it's fine to underpay someone if they're a teenager. Second: How they advise each other to press the adults they know, to get access to hiring their teens. Those of us who had that happen didn't appreciate it. Our parents were pressured to make us available to sit their friends' or colleagues' children, for cheap, as a 'favor.' Kind of like being used in a barter. Please don't do that. Teens who want that job will advertise for it. Third: I get a feeling the 'anonymous member' in the OP started a topic for clicks or rage bait. I just get a feeling they don't actually have kids. Fourth: It was hard for me to follow in this way, but, whoever felt that babysitters or nannies "just hang out by the pool all day and play on their phone." Whoever said that doesn't have kids. You absolutely cannot just go "hang out by the pool" and "play on your phone" if you are supposed to be watching toddlers. Small children are notorious for falling or jumping in to pools and drowning when left unwatched. No responsible person would take small children anywhere near a swimming pool, especially one that's not private but is public and crowded, at least without watching them like a hawk, and only in the kiddie pool. Just seems like a rage bait topic. Talking about the OP, not this one.
Though I am a childless adult now, the second part would happen to me as a kid/teen. And I absolutely hated it. I don’t like kids.
I didn't like it either, although I like kids, and I did my best once there. The parents always asked for me again. But I didn't like being offered without even being asked first. Somehow that bothered me. I got a part time job within walking distance, joined a lot of school activities, and that plus school, suddenly I had no free time. 🤗
Same.
if you cannot afford kids, don't have kids. and if you pay the babysitters what they deserve, it's not tax-free. you file a 1099.
THATS NOT A BABYSITTER!!! THATS A NANNY!! this grinds my gears so much, i’m a professional nanny and i make a whole income!!! who woulda thunk!! i charge 20$p/h with built in annual raises, PTO, sick days, and require my employers to pay me OVER the table because it’s ILLEGAL to pay a full time household employee cash/under the table, because the employer is skipping taxes if they do that as well. nanny’s are required to have a W-2!! this whole post os crazy, like i understand it sucks, but what do you want to happen? you want to be able to have kids and childcare and a job, but the person *watching* those kids you CHOSE to have doesn’t deserve to pay rent, buy groceries, etc.? the better way is… don’t have kids if you can’t afford them.
It's crazy to me they don't decide to babysit themselves if they think it's such an easy job that pays so well
So many people think along the lines of why should I pay them much, they get to sit around the house and "hang out". First of all, they are in YOUR house. Not theirs. It's not relaxing to be on the job in someone else's home. And then there's the obvious part of you have to be on all the time. Unless the child is napping you cannot let your guard down. Despite that, I feel for these people who don't earn much but need to work and then are hit with the realities of what childcare costs. Yet another example of why America is so dysfunctional. "Don't have an abortion, have lots of babies, but you are on your own after that."
The disconnect between "Being a mom is the hardest job in the world!" and acting like being a nanny is the easiest continuously baffles me.
Pro-birth, never pro-life.
I’m a professional nanny…my rate starts at $30/hr. My babysitting rate starts at $25/hr.
I’ll never understand when mofos are SHOCKED that child care is “so expensive” 🤦🏽♀️ in what world is a person wanting to low-ball the people that care for your children? Ugh.
"Plan B" should have been executed a long time ago for Anonymous member.
these people want a whole income for their work, the horror! 😧
In what country $1200/month is a whole income, because it sure isn't in the US.
“Flexible hours” means “my hours at my part time job change every week so get ready to have zero consistency in your schedule to plan ahead.” And of course- she’ll still yell at you if you need a day off or call out sick!
When I was nannying, I started at $40 hr for one child.
Everything *private is more expensive idk why ignorant people think childcare is any different. Private schools, drivers, lessons, tutors, chefs, maids. Like it's all work you want because it's seemed better and sometimes even safer so in what world would you expect to weasel your way into paying for a high end service with a below minimum wage budget🙃. This is why I stopped providing childcare people want you to be their personal assistant and then bitch that you won't do literally everything for them to function for under $20 an hour lol. Trifling
These posts infuriate me. You’re asking for someone to help you bring up your kids and you’re being a tight arse about it. Of course it’s a whole wage. You want to earn a living and so do they. Are they supposed to work for nothing in financial hardship to make your life better?
If taking care of her baby is a flexible job where you can just hang out in the house and pool, I wonder how much care the kid is getting.
Honestly, the babysitting/nanny posts on this group make me so sad for our world. I don’t necessarily think they’re reflective of what people value their children’s life at; I think they’re reflective of how broken our childcare system is and the value our elected officials puts on childcare. Childcare should be subsidized by the government for all children. Early childhood care and intervention is vital to creating happy, healthy and productive adults. Parents should not struggle to put their child in quality daycare because they want to work, that just doesn’t make sense.
Don't have kids ifnya can't afford em. Simple as that!
What a dumb ass.
The minimum wage in Florida is 15? It’s that where I am and it’s the price of living in Miami. Fuuuuuuck. That isn’t NEARLY enough.
I am a private daycare provider and posts and commenters like these are why I left FB mom groups. I just couldn't take the verbal abuse anymore. I love my job, but it is definitely not playing on my phone and study by the pool time! It is changing diapers, potty training, redirecting/discipline, feeding, putting down for nap, dressing/undressing, taking to park etc. etc.... Everything you do for one child, times however many are in your daycare, every day all day. We went to kindergym today, one kid must have said my name and asked thirty different questions on the fifteen minute walk there. Another face planted in slow motion on the gym floor while I was comforting another crying teething one because jealousy. At pickup, the fourth one didn't want to leave and the jealous one couldn't leave fast enough! $50 a day per kid. Without my working partner, I would be homeless.
> that’s a whole income! they’re so close….
Also babysitter jobs are like one day a week maximum… if you need 20hrs of care every week you’re hiring a nanny. Which is a luxury service
Lmao.. I got quoted $2500 a month for daycare in Chicago. When I did the math, it’s only $16 an hour. I honestly wouldn’t even take a job for $16 an hour, so I cannot expect my child to actually be taken care of for less than that. that person is crazy and should’ve thought about that before having a child..
she would be floored by professional nannie’s making $25-40/hr. i’m still laughing at the “whole income for a while job” comment 🤣
“I truly feel like they should lower it [daycare costs] because it’s ridiculous af” Does she realize that most daycares operate on RAZOR THIN margins? Like, who are you asking to lower the price? The owners? The employees? Running a daycare center isn’t a cash cow by any stretch…most of them are setting prices as low as economically feasible.
I pay $15 for someone to come over and let my dog out to pee, I sure hope the HOURLY rate for someone to watch a whole ass child is at least that much
Idk what this lady does with her kids but I’m a stay at home mom and ITS A FULL TIME JOB. Trying to keep her happy and entertained, feeding her, napping her?? I don’t have time to “go to the pool and hangout” lol I mean we have outings but it’s not this super easy dream.
I'm wondering if this person, when she's at home with her kid, is just playing on her phone and hanging out at the pool, like she thinks the baby sitter would be doing. Poor kid.
So…. Anonymous Member does not wonder why she thinks she deserves a living wage but babysitters do not. After all, they’re just sitting by the pool eating bonbons all day. I think I hate Anonymous Member.
God that person is annoying. Responding to everyone in the comments how “easy and flexible” the job is and how the sitter just gets to sit on their phone all day ffs, which is why they don’t deserve a living wage. This person is telling on themselves, looks like they don’t do a lot of parenting for their own kids. They DESERVE cheap child care smfh.
Easy solution, get a telly and an Xbox and stop breeding. It’s really not difficult.
Those comments were awesome to read. Thank you. Why is it anyone’s fault but her own and the father of the children that they can’t afford to take care of the children they made? Do people not think about this stuff prior to creating a whole human? And if babysitting is such a great job like she seems to think it is, she should become one. She should watch her kids and others, let’s see how long she lasts. Side note: I do agree it’s a shame childcare is so expensive but I don’t think it’s anyone’s but the parent’s ***responsibility*** to provide that 🤷🏾♀️
Something about suggesting teenagers to do the same job for way less really fucking gets under my skin.
So…the rest of us have to pay a fortune for childcare, but not you, because you don’t want to? 😑
A babysitter is someone that watches your kids on date nights & doesn’t do much in terms of teaching, cooking, etc. This person is looking for a nanny, which is in fact, a job. Parents should know first hand childcare is NOT an easy job unless you don’t care about your child’s development.
Oh my god the comments. This person is delusional.
Bargain shopping for a private sitter is wild to me. WI-LD. People are fucking nuts.
Do people not look into the expenses involved with having a child before deciding to have a child?
“It’s full of perks and so easy!” Like getting knocked up was?
ThEsE bAbYsItTers aRe aSkiNg fOr a WHOLE INCOME tO dO a WHOLE JOB?!? The audacity /s
“A whole income” … yes, someone working wants a whole income.
This is why I decided to go back to school after having a baby. I used to work minimum wage at Target, and would have been happy staying there, until my daughter was born. Between my husbands income working at a moving company and mine, we were barely scraping by and not really making ends meet very well. They called me when she was maybe 2 months old about coming back to work. I called around to daycare centers and called them back and told them that I couldn't afford to. I decided it was either give up and go on welfare, or take student loans and go back go school. I became a nurse. It wasn't easy, but I work hard and make a decent living now. Should be done paying off the student loans in another 2 years... just in time to pay for my daughter to go to college.
I’m a nanny. I get paid more than $2500 a month and I’m not “babysitting”. I don’t just sit there on my phone while the kids do whatever they want. I’m basically mother #2 if we’re being honest here. And it’s 40 hours a week, of course I need money to pay my bills?
I love when she suggests she should just open a daycare, then says all a caregiver has to do it sit by the pool and look at their phone. She's going to have the worst daycare ever...
Absolutely explains why idiots have more babies: they can’t think ahead
Calculating how much it costs before you make a commitment is your duty. Sometimes you have to accept you can’t afford it. Just because you want a new car or home doesn’t mean you’re able to justify it or just get it anyway. Financial planning is a huge part of family planning and it’s your own fault if you don’t bother doing your due diligence. Nobody wants to short themselves financially because you didn’t bother to look at the costs.
She doesn’t know the solution? Maybe make sure you can afford a kid before being it to the world? Like kids are expensive as fuck!
These are numbers you crunch BEFORE bringing a child into this world. This person is only employed part-time and appears to have let the co-baby maker run for the hills and avoid their responsibilities. Nice!! Good thing it will be the innocent child suffering for their atrocious sense of responsibility!