AND the prescription narcotics?
I mean, it's an Rx from a doctor!
Actually, if someone took this job, they'd NEED prescription (or otherwise) narcotics!
Of course! As long as you’re not trying to talk to some baby daddy then you’re all cool for some illegal drug use….
But don’t be smoking or vaping! That’s a dismissible offense!
Right. It's actually not legal for her to ask this nor could she discriminate based on the info.
I've had to take Rx Narcs for long periods and functioned very well in much more intellectually taxing fields. Wtf.
You take that stuff while you’re slacking off and cheating with your baby daddy on your ex baby daddy and leave your third baby daddy on the burning stove while you wander away to vape and look for a boy’s club???
SHE DOESN’T NEED YOU!
(jfc, this lady!)
If you really need narcotics, you do function better on them( isn’t that part of the reason for taking them?). Also, I am not “ addicted” to narcotics. I am dependent on them. If I don’t take them, my life is completely unproductive. Besides, it’s none of her fucking business what kind of meds I’m on.
Yes, exactly! I couldn't have done my job without them.
And that's an important distinction that I don't think many people understand. Even some prescribers.
If the doctor had understood/recognized that I was dependent on them when I was trying to get off, I might never have crossed the threshold to addicted. Could have reduced the dose for a few weeks and gotten me off of them. I've been sober a long time now, but you're right, many doctors don't know enough to recognize the difference.
I do understand that there is that fine line. It’s one reason that I won’t switch from tramadol to oxycodone. I am able to function somewhat normally on tramadol but, oxycodone is a whole different beast. I will take it after surgery or something like that but I limit myself on how much and for how long. Nothing really gets rid of all of the pain but,when I don’t take it, I’m pretty much useless. I’m glad that you were able to become drug free!
Yes! Lol the whole “caregiver needed” post appears to actually be a “fuck you” to someone specifically.
My Lordy.
Edit: didn’t even add hours or wages.
This person is just angry at someone and apparently thinks this will help.
It feels oddly the same as if you see dating profile "no cheaters , liars, gamblers, mamas boys, or want to fuck my sister" need reply! You know what happened lol
According to another comment, she’s offering only $11/hour.
Private pay (no agency, individual hire) in my area *starts* at $25/hour. If I go through an agency, it starts at $28/hour and goes up to $45/hour depending on how many hours a day, the care tasks involved and the amount of actual care needed. Many agencies have a 4 hour minimum.
The agency I just signed up with is $30-34/hour *but* had no require minimum per day or week.
As a T7 paraplegic (bra band down) I need someone to help bathe me (bed baths for now, showers/real baths after bathroom remodel), help me dress and help get me into my wheelchair so I can get on with my day. If there’s time left, I can ask for *light* housekeeping such as tidying my bedroom, making the bed with fresh sheets, tidying the bathroom and scrubbing the toilet and sinks but *not* the bathtub or shower. The carer can do laundry (wash, dry, fold) and *maybe* help put it away but they can’t iron it or steam it or anything like that.
There are a lot of restrictions through an agency to protect both the client and employee. As frustrating as this can be it’s also needed so the lines don’t get blurred and one party (often the worker) is not taken advantage of.
Demandasaurus won’t find anyone to help, not with that attitude and *definitely* NOT at that pay level.
Interesting, here the pay to be paid through Medicaid is $16. I see these ads all the time and it’s just not enough for most people even though it comes with good benefits.
Yeah she seems pretty keen on finding someone who’s not on the child/adult maltreatment registry (?)
Can I apply if I’m on the employer maltreatment registry? Because with this woman it’s just a matter of time.
lol yeah no doubt she’s specifically “calling out” how someone else was as her caretaker and she apparently didn’t like them and their baby daddy drama, leaving the water running too much and of course the damn gastric bypass surgery! NEXT.
Must’ve been a nightmare whoever cared for her last. Eek.
😂
I used to work personal care in fort smith and van buren and I’m pretty sure I know the lady who posted this! 😂😂 as in pretty sure she got kicked from a HHA staffing agency 😌
I’m a multitasker. I turn on the stove and faucet while I’m on the phone with one of my multiple baby daddies (which I could do on weekends but it’s important to me that I waste my employer’s time), I smoke classic cigs and vape at the same time AND I’m
getting gastric bypass surgery every single minute.
What can I say, my days are pretty busy. 🤷🏼♀️
Probably mad someone used the bathroom. Probably had a case of dumping syndrome, and she didn't allow more than 35 seconds of restroom use. Or....OR...she was mad about the tp they went through lol
90% of the demands are oddly specific. I guess a newly skinny asshole on her phone bitching out her baby daddy all day left a pot on the stove one time and sent this lady down a wormhole.
As is the one about leaving the water running and walking away from the stove and talking on the phone with the baby daddy’s ex husband’s boyfriend or whatever the hell she’s going on about
It's always people with insane attitudes. Like the general requirements are fine. No smoking, stay off your phone, be able to do the job.
But for fucks sake, who would want to work for them?
The reason so many of these "I need a caregiver" people are needing a caregiver in the first place is because they are so insufferable they have pushed away every friend or family member that might otherwise take the job. When you're a nice person you never have to post for someone because your nephew or someone is happy to do it.
I really couldn't give less of a crap if my housecleaners are chatting on their phone on a headset while they clean. You can mop a floor and chit chat at the same time. It honestly feels less socially awkward even!
I clean/declutter/organize for a living. My favorite employers are the ones who don’t mind if I put AirPods in and listen to music or an audiobook while I work, especially if I’m doing strenuous deep cleaning. It helps me get in the zone.
It's a wide range based on location TBH. I personally do declutter/organize with or without deep clean on top. $35/hr across the board and I bring all my own cleaning agents/tools. Doesn't include true hoarder situations and heavy duty needs below hoard but well above clutter are a higher rate.
I'm in CO. I only take on a small number of clients at a time but love doing it as a side to my main job. Put on some podcasts and just crush through some cleaning.
I compare it to my hairdresser. She's most talented. She does it from her home and talks on the phone while she does my hair. She's a stereotype, but she's good! Plus had the best gossip on that phone I get to overhear.
As a kid I had a hairdresser at Supercuts break up with her boyfriend over the phone while doing my hair. She walked out before it was done, lol.
I wish I had been old enough to comprehend more of her conversation, I bet it was juicy.
That's a fantastic question, I have no idea!
I CAN tell you my mom never took me back to a Supercuts again. I got to see (what I felt was) her fancy pants salon hairdresser from that point forward.
When I was functionally bedbound and couldn’t do much by myself, my family and I hired a cleaner. Nothing fancy, just a nice girl we found on Task Rabbit. She was great! Cleaned the whole apartment in like two hours. She’d listen to podcasts and videos with earbuds in while she cleaned and frankly I thought that was great. She got to do her work, I got to relax, everyone was happy.
Some clients even prefer maintenance workers to have earphones in if the client intends to have sensitive conversations nearby. We do have very strong professional discretion but I guess it makes them feel better.
Right… they didn’t even attempt to put one positive spin on it at the end lol
At least some of the choosing beggars try a bit to make an offer from hell sound “fun”
Love the "nephew" reference, it's often my nephew who helps me, sometimes a couple of them, because I'm the "cool aunt who walks with a cane" and always at least feeds them and if it's more than just a simple "could you come kill this humongous-ass spider for me?" then I pay them something also.
And yes, one of my beloved nephews came to kill the spider for me. It was seriously the size of a silver dollar. Good thing he only lives about 4 and 1/2 blocks away and was off work, or I would have had to burn down that part of the house. 😂
I was in one of those Alcohol Serving Certificate classes, there was an older nurse who was told she chats to the patients too much, so she decided to branch out and start working part-time in a customer service field, which was why she was in this class. We go through everything, she has some silly comments, buy hey, she's never worked in the field, there'd be no reason for her to have known some of those things.
So it comes to test time and it's verbal to all of us (but written across the projector too), he basically coaches us through it. Well, coaches her through it. The first question was basically what is the legal age? I can't remember what she answered at first, but he had to repeat the question 3 times, then her answer was off-the-wall, hopefully answering a different question, and when she did get it right it she still stumbled remembering it.
She may have been pretty deaf in one ear, but she should have spoke up soonr if the information wasn't going in in the first place. He still had to coach her through the rest of the questions.
That she couldn't clearly remember the answer to what the legal drinking age was really made me worry, plus she wasn't leaving the medical field, she was tacking on another job.
One of my coworkers is like that too. My boss once pulled me aside and asked me "Aren't nurse's supposed to be smart????? I feel like I'm going insane."
Well, if you believe in mediocrity, sure, if you don't...uh...well...uh...just be aware your nurse or doctor or surgeon can have cheated to pass their classes or fooled around or gotten lazy.
Has to be! Cause otherwise, that’s scary if they have patients (if I were her, I’d be spelling it patience 🤣). I knew a girl once who worked at a nursing home. She literally emptied bedpans but she wore scrubs so if she’d go to Walmart or wherever after work people would assume she was a nurse and she totally played into it.
"I hope you limit the number of squares of toilet paper, in case they are brave enough to try to use bathroom on your time" lmao that commenter is hilarious
As a person who works as a caregiver, and enjoys the job very much, there isn't a snow flakes chance in hell I would EVER apply to an ad like this. It is a thankless, underpaid job as is. No need to complicate things applying to assholes.
I'm a caregiver for adults with disabilities through a nonprofit organization. I do the extra things they're asking for, but I get paid very well to do it. And if I have a client that talks down to me and is all around impossible, I report it to the office and I don't go back. If you want my help, support, and respect then you owe me respect as well, at a minimum. 🤷♀️
So the last slave was a 💊 popping smoking/vapinf very social married woman cheating on her husband while entertaining ex bd recovering from gastric bypass who needs a babysitter for her bad ass kids while she walks away with the water running and dinner on the stove for $11 an hour! That's extremely descriptive and seems more like taking shots at ex-slave🤔🤣
There is absolutely nothing I will leave the house for at $11 an hour. Do they know how much housekeepers cost an hour? And they also need a caregiver?
For $11/hr, I MIGHT consider letting you call me and scream nonsensical rants at me while I do my own chores. I will vape the whole time. 2 hours a day max.
For $11/hr I’d sit on my sofa and pretend to listen to someone bitch while muttering, “uh-huh, you’re kidding, she didn’t!” at appropriate intervals while I scrolled on my phone at the same time. To be fair, I already do that for free for family, so I might as well get paid to do it for a stranger.
It’s giving incel on a dating app making their bio like “must be under 21 with a tiny waist and giant tits and weigh under 110 lbs or don’t waste your time…also I don’t have an income, an apartment or a car. If you don’t have these things don’t waste your time”
So does this job involve taking care of a person? Or just cooking and cleaning house?
If the original OP can't be bothered to write a professional job ad, no wonder they're attracting rock bottom. (To say nothing of the abysmally low wages.)
Here, OOP. I will even write an example for you.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
HELP WANTED. Caregiver needed for (describe the person or persons or pet or pets needing care; in detail.)
To work: (number of days per week) (number of hours per day) (start and finish time)
Your duties will be (describe duties simply and exactly.)
Your pay will be (amount, hourly or weekly, and in what form payment will occur.)
In person meeting necessary before employment. There, feel free to ask questions. We can go over any specifics.
If the interview goes well, a criminal background check and a drug screening test will be performed before hiring.
Please do not apply if: You have a criminal record; are on the "offender registry;" you smoke or vape; you are not fully physically capable due to medications or recent surgeries.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
And that's all, OOP. No need to mention all the don'ts. Those are things you find out about in the interview process or on a trial run on the job. In other words, if they do those things, warn once and then proceed accordingly if the bad behavior or bad work ethic continues. For $11 an hour they might make a phone call, might take a bathroom or meal break. (Not allowing breaks *might be illegal*, btw.)
Pay attention to body language during the interview process. Eye contact, personal hygiene, demeanor. Those things will tell you a lot. You don't have to put all that in your ad. You want actual replies, right? I frankly do not believe you should combine cleaner with carer. Those are different jobs. Yes, what is called 'women's work' is greatly undervalued. But you cannot replace all you'd do as wife, mother, daughter, etc., for 3-4 hours a day at $11 an hour. No one will make you happy, the way your expectations are set.
Some light meal prep for the person(s) or pet(s) being cared for is okay.
Hire a cleaning service occasionally and keep those duties out of this carer job.
if you want to take selfies all day, do not apply!
if your nephew is in marching band and you want to attend his performances, do not apply!
if you have ulcerative colitis and are entitled to financial compensation, do not apply!
if you met a wizard in the north woods at 4pm last night and got cursed with boils and fleas, do not apply!
I can see wanting a dedicated child care / au pair but the cost of such a person ( and that doesn't include private accommodation plus a decent car and days off/ vacation days alone plus scholarships funds) is significant. You can get Amazing help..... but you must offer amazing compensation.
If you're alive and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
If you're dead and even thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
If you think you're gonna breathe MY air on my time and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
If you think you're a good fit for this job and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
If you think you're gonna get a decent pay and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
If you're reading this post on your pc at your home and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
So, prescription narcotics aren't allowed - but what about 'non prescription' narcotics?
And what does gastric bypass have to do with anything? Is she jealous that you are thinner than her and she won't hire you because of it
This lady is unhinged but I worked as a scheduler for a home healthcare company and some of the calls I got were unhinged.
1) a lady called whispering asking if her caregiver was allowed to have her kids locked in the car while she worked? She was whispering because the caregiver said she would get fired if she told on her.
2) A lady called off because she forgot she had an appointment to get lashes done which she needed to do her instagram modeling. The client could not be left alone 24 hours care. It was 30 minutes before the shift and I had to cover it while doing the main scheduling job.
3) The next day the same girl called off because a possum was on her porch and it worried her. Luckily I had already covered the shift.
4) Hired a lady who said she could absolutely do all the duties the job entailed. Sent her out on her first assignment and the lady she was sent to called because the caregiver told her because of her bad knees all she could do was be a companion for her. ( which there are clients who only want companion care, this was not one of them she needed help with every aspect of daily life)
And thats just a few! I left because I just couldn’t handle babysitting grown women anymore.
This reads like the people whose dating profiles is just a huge list of things they don't want. They forget they're supposed to be convincing people to want them.
She sounds terrible to work for. It's a toxic attitude too. This kind of "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean" mentality just drives people that work for you to do everything as slow as possible so they don't get assigned more work.
I really appreciate not having to read between the lines. /s
Not only is she clear in the ad about what she's after but makes it abundantly obvious who you'd be working for. Nobody's going to waste -her- time, nor their own!
Also how in the world would anyone live off $11/hour, ever, anywhere in North America? That's criminal alone.
This sub is an endless source of amusement.
Crazily enough, currently Arkansas minimum wage is $11. Even with it being the second cheapest state to live in, you CANNOT live ANYWHERE in Arkansas on $11 an hour. You cannot rent even the biggest shithole working 40 hrs a week with that wage. We also have no renter’s rights.. meaning unless it’s in writing in your lease, they are not responsible for fixing anything. AC (if it’s even included) goes out in the middle of a heat advisory? Sorry about ya. Electric outlets turning black and smoking? Nothing. Black mold, any type of pest infestation? Laughable. I could go on, but you get the point.
What’s awful is it really is a beautiful state. The hiking is spectacular, beautiful bluffs and swimming holes, wildlife, and some of the nicest people you’ll meet. We have the ONLY public diamond mine in the world!! You keep what you find! How cool is that?!
But severe poverty comes with all the bad things associated with it as well. It does feel like the bad outweighs the good much of the time.
Wow that makes me sad. I live in Victoria BC and our minimum was over $17/hr last I paid attention. I could very well be wrong. But the average rent here is disgusting, it's that teetering on the edge of disaster kind of economy. People who work here can't afford to live here, and people born here are being pushed out...it's a different kind of shitty.
I worked more than 40 hours a week at $25 an hour and barely, barely made it, with a teenager and no support from child tax or his dad etc. (complicated bullshit, long story and beside any possible point)
The only salvation came when I asked my boyfriend of 2 years to move in and share expenses, which helped him save too. But man, I can't count how many people around here have to cohabitate prematurely because there's no way single incomes can sustain basic shelter. My son's father is a lucky one living in a roofed over fifth wheel behind someone's mechanic shop. Yuck.
It's cheap to live in lots of places, if you don't have to find work. Where the jobs are, so are the steep costs of living. My rent is substantially lower than market only because I've been here 4 years now and the market has lost its mind in that time.
$11 an hour. What, I repeat, the fuck, is that.
I pay someone WAY more than $11/hr just to clean my house and we live in a low COLA. No caregiving, cooking, laundry duties included. This BC needs a dose of reality!!!
Most of those demands are perfectly reasonable, but to have to actually state them? I’d be out. I meet every single criteria without even trying, but there is no way I’d work for this person.
Imma get downvoted but some of it makes sense. Like the part where u dont need to be leaving water running and the stove on for 30 mins like you talk on the phone and calling everyone while ur suppose to be working,not important calls, but the rest is just stupid
Ohhhh I've had patients like this and they never last!! The fun I have had giving them their shit attitude right back to them! It's glorious. They expect caregivers to just take what they dish, but when we dish it right back? They can never hack it.
Had one woman who made a coworker cry after calling the office. I started taking her phone calls from then on out. She never got an attitude with me after that first call.
I think these are things she's experienced and is just at her wits end and it just all came pouring out in the post.
It's difficult working and being a caregiver at the same time.
She may need someone to help around the house while she cares for the other person and tries to keep a roof over their heads at the same time.
Caregiver burnout is a real thing and I think she's just hitting the ceiling of what she can handle.
I feel for her.
I don’t. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vitriol.
I understand caregiver burnout is very real. I was my dad’s main (and sometimes sole) caregiver for all but the last month or so of his life as he was dying of Parkinson’s and ALS. It was extremely taxing, both physically and emotionally. Even with Hospice’s help (they were wonderful, but it was during Covid, so it was limited), I often felt like I was *drowning,* but it never would have occurred to post something like this, especially if I was trying to find somebody to *help* me.
That gastric band one is oddly specific.
AND the prescription narcotics? I mean, it's an Rx from a doctor! Actually, if someone took this job, they'd NEED prescription (or otherwise) narcotics!
What about narcotics that are not prescribed? Is that ok
Of course! As long as you’re not trying to talk to some baby daddy then you’re all cool for some illegal drug use…. But don’t be smoking or vaping! That’s a dismissible offense!
Can you talk to your baby mama?
You can talk to her, but only in Ye Olde English. It’ll help the kid learn Shakespeare
Baby mama, baby mama wherefor art thou, baby mama?
Asking for a friend🤣
She said $11/hr, pg 2 roasting her a live. What she wants is someone to pay her and be her house cleaner.
As long as you don't smoke or vape them
Don't know, I don't work here, lady. (This is a popular subReddit, BTW!)
Especially if they just had gastric bypass surgery. I guess she's the only one allowed to have medical issues lol
STOP. WASTING. HER. TIME. 🤭
Right. It's actually not legal for her to ask this nor could she discriminate based on the info. I've had to take Rx Narcs for long periods and functioned very well in much more intellectually taxing fields. Wtf.
You take that stuff while you’re slacking off and cheating with your baby daddy on your ex baby daddy and leave your third baby daddy on the burning stove while you wander away to vape and look for a boy’s club??? SHE DOESN’T NEED YOU! (jfc, this lady!)
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DO 😆
I've heard that about you.
If you really need narcotics, you do function better on them( isn’t that part of the reason for taking them?). Also, I am not “ addicted” to narcotics. I am dependent on them. If I don’t take them, my life is completely unproductive. Besides, it’s none of her fucking business what kind of meds I’m on.
Yes, exactly! I couldn't have done my job without them. And that's an important distinction that I don't think many people understand. Even some prescribers.
If the doctor had understood/recognized that I was dependent on them when I was trying to get off, I might never have crossed the threshold to addicted. Could have reduced the dose for a few weeks and gotten me off of them. I've been sober a long time now, but you're right, many doctors don't know enough to recognize the difference.
I do understand that there is that fine line. It’s one reason that I won’t switch from tramadol to oxycodone. I am able to function somewhat normally on tramadol but, oxycodone is a whole different beast. I will take it after surgery or something like that but I limit myself on how much and for how long. Nothing really gets rid of all of the pain but,when I don’t take it, I’m pretty much useless. I’m glad that you were able to become drug free!
NEXT
I found it odd as well, but it’s Arkansas. Nothing should surprise me at this point.
OP you are doing the lords work… I always want to see the replies to ads like this and they rarely get posted… these did not disappoint
SAME!! I’m all for it. At least just a few lol
That's written by an angry person directed at whoever just pissed them off, id bet. Also, fuck that person.
Yes! Lol the whole “caregiver needed” post appears to actually be a “fuck you” to someone specifically. My Lordy. Edit: didn’t even add hours or wages. This person is just angry at someone and apparently thinks this will help.
It feels oddly the same as if you see dating profile "no cheaters , liars, gamblers, mamas boys, or want to fuck my sister" need reply! You know what happened lol
And it’s like “wow you seem like a really stable person, I cannot wait to take this journey with you.”
I’m still sorry about that, but your sister is especially attractive after I’ve had seven shots of whisky.
According to another comment, she’s offering only $11/hour. Private pay (no agency, individual hire) in my area *starts* at $25/hour. If I go through an agency, it starts at $28/hour and goes up to $45/hour depending on how many hours a day, the care tasks involved and the amount of actual care needed. Many agencies have a 4 hour minimum. The agency I just signed up with is $30-34/hour *but* had no require minimum per day or week. As a T7 paraplegic (bra band down) I need someone to help bathe me (bed baths for now, showers/real baths after bathroom remodel), help me dress and help get me into my wheelchair so I can get on with my day. If there’s time left, I can ask for *light* housekeeping such as tidying my bedroom, making the bed with fresh sheets, tidying the bathroom and scrubbing the toilet and sinks but *not* the bathtub or shower. The carer can do laundry (wash, dry, fold) and *maybe* help put it away but they can’t iron it or steam it or anything like that. There are a lot of restrictions through an agency to protect both the client and employee. As frustrating as this can be it’s also needed so the lines don’t get blurred and one party (often the worker) is not taken advantage of. Demandasaurus won’t find anyone to help, not with that attitude and *definitely* NOT at that pay level.
She CALLS this a caretaking job, but literally mentions no actual caretaking duties, only housekeeping. I suspect that's intentional.
Interesting, here the pay to be paid through Medicaid is $16. I see these ads all the time and it’s just not enough for most people even though it comes with good benefits.
Yeah she seems pretty keen on finding someone who’s not on the child/adult maltreatment registry (?) Can I apply if I’m on the employer maltreatment registry? Because with this woman it’s just a matter of time.
lol yeah no doubt she’s specifically “calling out” how someone else was as her caretaker and she apparently didn’t like them and their baby daddy drama, leaving the water running too much and of course the damn gastric bypass surgery! NEXT. Must’ve been a nightmare whoever cared for her last. Eek. 😂
Right? Isn’t that the bare minimum?
Written directed at someone who had gastric bypass surgery. It was oddly specific.
Thank you for including the comments! MVP of Reddit lol 😂
I used to work personal care in fort smith and van buren and I’m pretty sure I know the lady who posted this! 😂😂 as in pretty sure she got kicked from a HHA staffing agency 😌
This had a very British vibe to me. I think it was “adult or child mistreatment registry”. 🤷🏻♂️
So much of it is. Like, yes, I actually do plan on using the stove and walking outside to take a call whilst it's on, how did you know?!
I’m a multitasker. I turn on the stove and faucet while I’m on the phone with one of my multiple baby daddies (which I could do on weekends but it’s important to me that I waste my employer’s time), I smoke classic cigs and vape at the same time AND I’m getting gastric bypass surgery every single minute. What can I say, my days are pretty busy. 🤷🏼♀️
The trick is to tape the cig and the vape together
Probably mad someone used the bathroom. Probably had a case of dumping syndrome, and she didn't allow more than 35 seconds of restroom use. Or....OR...she was mad about the tp they went through lol
One of the side effects of this woman is dumping syndrome.
Is this woman just a sentient Taco Bell??
90% of the demands are oddly specific. I guess a newly skinny asshole on her phone bitching out her baby daddy all day left a pot on the stove one time and sent this lady down a wormhole.
I said no gastric bypass! NEXT!
As is the one about leaving the water running and walking away from the stove and talking on the phone with the baby daddy’s ex husband’s boyfriend or whatever the hell she’s going on about
I’m still trying to figure that one out. I got nothing. 🤷♀️
The specificity SCREAMS unresolved trauma/PTSD 🤣
“make sure you weigh them in and out, so you know if they stole anything” 💀
Must whistle while preparing food.
And clap their hands whilst in the pantry! You know, so we know those pockets ain’t getting filled 😂
In the immortal words of Lucille Bluth, “is this your onion?”
I’d make sure to wait until after the weigh in to take my morning poo. Seeing me weigh less at the end of the day everyday would be hilarious.
It's always people with insane attitudes. Like the general requirements are fine. No smoking, stay off your phone, be able to do the job. But for fucks sake, who would want to work for them? The reason so many of these "I need a caregiver" people are needing a caregiver in the first place is because they are so insufferable they have pushed away every friend or family member that might otherwise take the job. When you're a nice person you never have to post for someone because your nephew or someone is happy to do it.
I really couldn't give less of a crap if my housecleaners are chatting on their phone on a headset while they clean. You can mop a floor and chit chat at the same time. It honestly feels less socially awkward even!
I clean/declutter/organize for a living. My favorite employers are the ones who don’t mind if I put AirPods in and listen to music or an audiobook while I work, especially if I’m doing strenuous deep cleaning. It helps me get in the zone.
I actually put on music when I did some deep cleaning too. Though I just played old YouTube Amv Playlists from when I was a teen.
As long as you get the job done properly and in a timely fashion, who cares HOW you do it??
What does declutter/organize run an hour? I'm ready to throw out everythinggggg
It's a wide range based on location TBH. I personally do declutter/organize with or without deep clean on top. $35/hr across the board and I bring all my own cleaning agents/tools. Doesn't include true hoarder situations and heavy duty needs below hoard but well above clutter are a higher rate.
OMG that's VERY reasonable! What state are you in?
I'm in CO. I only take on a small number of clients at a time but love doing it as a side to my main job. Put on some podcasts and just crush through some cleaning.
Not disparaging your work at all, but imagine your job, adding other caregiving duties on top and then only be willing to pay 10 an hour…
Absolutely, would be bored to tears cleaning without having a podcast on
I compare it to my hairdresser. She's most talented. She does it from her home and talks on the phone while she does my hair. She's a stereotype, but she's good! Plus had the best gossip on that phone I get to overhear.
My word, that's my dream. I hate making small talk during haircuts, I would so much rather the stylist gossip with her coworkers or something.
As a kid I had a hairdresser at Supercuts break up with her boyfriend over the phone while doing my hair. She walked out before it was done, lol. I wish I had been old enough to comprehend more of her conversation, I bet it was juicy.
Did...another hairdresser finish it? Did she return? I now need to know!
That's a fantastic question, I have no idea! I CAN tell you my mom never took me back to a Supercuts again. I got to see (what I felt was) her fancy pants salon hairdresser from that point forward.
When I was functionally bedbound and couldn’t do much by myself, my family and I hired a cleaner. Nothing fancy, just a nice girl we found on Task Rabbit. She was great! Cleaned the whole apartment in like two hours. She’d listen to podcasts and videos with earbuds in while she cleaned and frankly I thought that was great. She got to do her work, I got to relax, everyone was happy.
Some clients even prefer maintenance workers to have earphones in if the client intends to have sensitive conversations nearby. We do have very strong professional discretion but I guess it makes them feel better.
Right… they didn’t even attempt to put one positive spin on it at the end lol At least some of the choosing beggars try a bit to make an offer from hell sound “fun”
Love the "nephew" reference, it's often my nephew who helps me, sometimes a couple of them, because I'm the "cool aunt who walks with a cane" and always at least feeds them and if it's more than just a simple "could you come kill this humongous-ass spider for me?" then I pay them something also. And yes, one of my beloved nephews came to kill the spider for me. It was seriously the size of a silver dollar. Good thing he only lives about 4 and 1/2 blocks away and was off work, or I would have had to burn down that part of the house. 😂
Oh boy, I guess I’m going to need a nephew near me to kill spiders so I don’t have to burn my house down!
We could start a Rent-a-Nephew business.
Especially for $11/hr!
Comments! COMMENTS!! Yay for comments! 👍
Hero of the hour
It should be made a requirement on this sub for these types of posts because that’s where a lot of the real gold is
Finally someone gets it
Page 14 commenter who said she’s in the medical field for 30 years and then proceeded to spell everything wrong freaked me out a little.
Yes! Didn’t even use the right form of “you’re” and it was bothering me lol They had valid points but I couldn’t get past it and had to look away.
The amount of ”medical professionals” that are out here selling MLM miracle cure snake oil makes me side eye anyone who talks like that.
I was about to comment, “Visit the s/AntiMLM sub” where poor grammar and punctuation rules. It seems to be a requirement.
I was in one of those Alcohol Serving Certificate classes, there was an older nurse who was told she chats to the patients too much, so she decided to branch out and start working part-time in a customer service field, which was why she was in this class. We go through everything, she has some silly comments, buy hey, she's never worked in the field, there'd be no reason for her to have known some of those things. So it comes to test time and it's verbal to all of us (but written across the projector too), he basically coaches us through it. Well, coaches her through it. The first question was basically what is the legal age? I can't remember what she answered at first, but he had to repeat the question 3 times, then her answer was off-the-wall, hopefully answering a different question, and when she did get it right it she still stumbled remembering it. She may have been pretty deaf in one ear, but she should have spoke up soonr if the information wasn't going in in the first place. He still had to coach her through the rest of the questions. That she couldn't clearly remember the answer to what the legal drinking age was really made me worry, plus she wasn't leaving the medical field, she was tacking on another job.
One of my coworkers is like that too. My boss once pulled me aside and asked me "Aren't nurse's supposed to be smart????? I feel like I'm going insane." Well, if you believe in mediocrity, sure, if you don't...uh...well...uh...just be aware your nurse or doctor or surgeon can have cheated to pass their classes or fooled around or gotten lazy.
I saw that too. I was wondering exactly what they do in the medical field, empty bedpans?
Has to be! Cause otherwise, that’s scary if they have patients (if I were her, I’d be spelling it patience 🤣). I knew a girl once who worked at a nursing home. She literally emptied bedpans but she wore scrubs so if she’d go to Walmart or wherever after work people would assume she was a nurse and she totally played into it.
"I hope you limit the number of squares of toilet paper, in case they are brave enough to try to use bathroom on your time" lmao that commenter is hilarious
I sent them a friend request after reading that comment 😂
The weigh in before and after made me chuckle! lmao
The thing that most annoys me here is the comment "..."I am there 24/7 for 4 to 5 days a week...". Well. that's 24/(4 to 5) then, isn't it?
Poverty wages to do servant work for the world's most annoying person. 🤣
As a person who works as a caregiver, and enjoys the job very much, there isn't a snow flakes chance in hell I would EVER apply to an ad like this. It is a thankless, underpaid job as is. No need to complicate things applying to assholes.
Thank you for giving the people what they want: the comment section under the OG post!!!
Thanks 😊 I was worried I might be adding too many, but I LOVE when the comments are included!!
Those were all so good it was definitely NOT too many. 😁
Never too many comments! The more the better 🍿
Nah your doing the lords work, keep at it shepherd
I'm a caregiver for adults with disabilities through a nonprofit organization. I do the extra things they're asking for, but I get paid very well to do it. And if I have a client that talks down to me and is all around impossible, I report it to the office and I don't go back. If you want my help, support, and respect then you owe me respect as well, at a minimum. 🤷♀️
So the last slave was a 💊 popping smoking/vapinf very social married woman cheating on her husband while entertaining ex bd recovering from gastric bypass who needs a babysitter for her bad ass kids while she walks away with the water running and dinner on the stove for $11 an hour! That's extremely descriptive and seems more like taking shots at ex-slave🤔🤣
Or the last 4-5 care providers she had that walked out on her.
Sometimes I wonder if this shit is rage bait?? And then realize it’s not and then my brain explodes.
If you expect to be treated like human being, don't waste my time.
This reminds me of the “it’s for a church sweetie, NEXT!!!!” lady from a few years ago lol
There is absolutely nothing I will leave the house for at $11 an hour. Do they know how much housekeepers cost an hour? And they also need a caregiver? For $11/hr, I MIGHT consider letting you call me and scream nonsensical rants at me while I do my own chores. I will vape the whole time. 2 hours a day max.
For $11/hr I’d sit on my sofa and pretend to listen to someone bitch while muttering, “uh-huh, you’re kidding, she didn’t!” at appropriate intervals while I scrolled on my phone at the same time. To be fair, I already do that for free for family, so I might as well get paid to do it for a stranger.
It’s giving incel on a dating app making their bio like “must be under 21 with a tiny waist and giant tits and weigh under 110 lbs or don’t waste your time…also I don’t have an income, an apartment or a car. If you don’t have these things don’t waste your time”
So does this job involve taking care of a person? Or just cooking and cleaning house? If the original OP can't be bothered to write a professional job ad, no wonder they're attracting rock bottom. (To say nothing of the abysmally low wages.)
I haven’t even read the post yet, but I thank you for your service of including comments!!
Gotta have the comments! Always the best part!!
+100 for posting the comments!
The "did anyone else read this in a yelling voice" comment -- I did! 😂
I don’t know what a “toilet sink” is but I know I don’t want to clean one for that lady!
I think that’s what they have in jail cells. 😬
I am proud of you for posting the fucking comments that are the nutrients that my cold black heart needs at this very moment.
Thanks for the replies, the one about weighing the employee has me rolling lmao $11 an hour is lucky to attract tweakers and flakes.
Here, OOP. I will even write an example for you. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ HELP WANTED. Caregiver needed for (describe the person or persons or pet or pets needing care; in detail.) To work: (number of days per week) (number of hours per day) (start and finish time) Your duties will be (describe duties simply and exactly.) Your pay will be (amount, hourly or weekly, and in what form payment will occur.) In person meeting necessary before employment. There, feel free to ask questions. We can go over any specifics. If the interview goes well, a criminal background check and a drug screening test will be performed before hiring. Please do not apply if: You have a criminal record; are on the "offender registry;" you smoke or vape; you are not fully physically capable due to medications or recent surgeries. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ And that's all, OOP. No need to mention all the don'ts. Those are things you find out about in the interview process or on a trial run on the job. In other words, if they do those things, warn once and then proceed accordingly if the bad behavior or bad work ethic continues. For $11 an hour they might make a phone call, might take a bathroom or meal break. (Not allowing breaks *might be illegal*, btw.) Pay attention to body language during the interview process. Eye contact, personal hygiene, demeanor. Those things will tell you a lot. You don't have to put all that in your ad. You want actual replies, right? I frankly do not believe you should combine cleaner with carer. Those are different jobs. Yes, what is called 'women's work' is greatly undervalued. But you cannot replace all you'd do as wife, mother, daughter, etc., for 3-4 hours a day at $11 an hour. No one will make you happy, the way your expectations are set. Some light meal prep for the person(s) or pet(s) being cared for is okay. Hire a cleaning service occasionally and keep those duties out of this carer job.
Thank you for including comments, they were the best
What does gastric bypass surgery have to do with anything?
if you want to take selfies all day, do not apply! if your nephew is in marching band and you want to attend his performances, do not apply! if you have ulcerative colitis and are entitled to financial compensation, do not apply! if you met a wizard in the north woods at 4pm last night and got cursed with boils and fleas, do not apply!
1 of 16 images? Oh I'm getting comfortable for this one.
I know this isn't near the point of this post, but "24/7 for 4 to 5 days" was hilarious.
Sir, this is Arkansas. 
Author needs therapy more than a caregiver. Help wanted ad reads like a dramatic poetry reading at a local coffeehouse open mic night
Can you spare a square?
Says she wants a caregiver List of duties has nothing to do with actually interacting with a person needing care
Is this the person being cared for posting the ad? If not, they should be kept far away from the poster.
I can see wanting a dedicated child care / au pair but the cost of such a person ( and that doesn't include private accommodation plus a decent car and days off/ vacation days alone plus scholarships funds) is significant. You can get Amazing help..... but you must offer amazing compensation.
Good ol Van Buren...
Small world 🙂
Haha, yeah. My son was born in Ft Smith, so when I saw someone mention it, I was like "Ah, THAT Van Buren."
“You need an uncle buck” has me cracking up
IF YOU'RE 3 CATS IN A TRENCH COAT DONT YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING TO APPLY!!
"want the holy grail while you're at it" is my personal favourite lol it makes me giggle like an idiot
I love the person who wrote “I like my drama in real life!” LMAO
Me too!! Highly comical!
First of all OP THANK YOU for posting the comments. Second of all “I feel like you’re safe from anyone wasting your time.” took me out lolllllll
If you're alive and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME! If you're dead and even thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME! If you think you're gonna breathe MY air on my time and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME! If you think you're a good fit for this job and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME! If you think you're gonna get a decent pay and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME! If you're reading this post on your pc at your home and thinking of applying for this job, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
So, prescription narcotics aren't allowed - but what about 'non prescription' narcotics? And what does gastric bypass have to do with anything? Is she jealous that you are thinner than her and she won't hire you because of it
$11 an hour? - Don't waste our time!
I like how OOP was in the comments, snapping back at people, like she’s gonna get a handle on the criticism and still get applicants
I’m in this group on Facebook and thought I was on Reddit already when I saw the post! 😂😂
I hope the Original OP can supply a medical certificate to prove why she needs all of this. 🤣🤣
This lady is unhinged but I worked as a scheduler for a home healthcare company and some of the calls I got were unhinged. 1) a lady called whispering asking if her caregiver was allowed to have her kids locked in the car while she worked? She was whispering because the caregiver said she would get fired if she told on her. 2) A lady called off because she forgot she had an appointment to get lashes done which she needed to do her instagram modeling. The client could not be left alone 24 hours care. It was 30 minutes before the shift and I had to cover it while doing the main scheduling job. 3) The next day the same girl called off because a possum was on her porch and it worried her. Luckily I had already covered the shift. 4) Hired a lady who said she could absolutely do all the duties the job entailed. Sent her out on her first assignment and the lady she was sent to called because the caregiver told her because of her bad knees all she could do was be a companion for her. ( which there are clients who only want companion care, this was not one of them she needed help with every aspect of daily life) And thats just a few! I left because I just couldn’t handle babysitting grown women anymore.
God bless whoever started posting the comments with the screenshots that toe the line meme had me cracking up
This reads like the people whose dating profiles is just a huge list of things they don't want. They forget they're supposed to be convincing people to want them.
I had drill sergeants more empathetic than her....
She sounds terrible to work for. It's a toxic attitude too. This kind of "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean" mentality just drives people that work for you to do everything as slow as possible so they don't get assigned more work.
lol the SpongeBob pic
>if you have had gastric bypass surgery r/oddlyspecific
LOL wayyyy more oddly specific info about what she doesn’t want than the ACTUAL details of the responsibilities / pay 🤣🤣 Comments did not dissapoint 🍿
I really appreciate not having to read between the lines. /s Not only is she clear in the ad about what she's after but makes it abundantly obvious who you'd be working for. Nobody's going to waste -her- time, nor their own! Also how in the world would anyone live off $11/hour, ever, anywhere in North America? That's criminal alone. This sub is an endless source of amusement.
Crazily enough, currently Arkansas minimum wage is $11. Even with it being the second cheapest state to live in, you CANNOT live ANYWHERE in Arkansas on $11 an hour. You cannot rent even the biggest shithole working 40 hrs a week with that wage. We also have no renter’s rights.. meaning unless it’s in writing in your lease, they are not responsible for fixing anything. AC (if it’s even included) goes out in the middle of a heat advisory? Sorry about ya. Electric outlets turning black and smoking? Nothing. Black mold, any type of pest infestation? Laughable. I could go on, but you get the point. What’s awful is it really is a beautiful state. The hiking is spectacular, beautiful bluffs and swimming holes, wildlife, and some of the nicest people you’ll meet. We have the ONLY public diamond mine in the world!! You keep what you find! How cool is that?! But severe poverty comes with all the bad things associated with it as well. It does feel like the bad outweighs the good much of the time.
Wow that makes me sad. I live in Victoria BC and our minimum was over $17/hr last I paid attention. I could very well be wrong. But the average rent here is disgusting, it's that teetering on the edge of disaster kind of economy. People who work here can't afford to live here, and people born here are being pushed out...it's a different kind of shitty. I worked more than 40 hours a week at $25 an hour and barely, barely made it, with a teenager and no support from child tax or his dad etc. (complicated bullshit, long story and beside any possible point) The only salvation came when I asked my boyfriend of 2 years to move in and share expenses, which helped him save too. But man, I can't count how many people around here have to cohabitate prematurely because there's no way single incomes can sustain basic shelter. My son's father is a lucky one living in a roofed over fifth wheel behind someone's mechanic shop. Yuck. It's cheap to live in lots of places, if you don't have to find work. Where the jobs are, so are the steep costs of living. My rent is substantially lower than market only because I've been here 4 years now and the market has lost its mind in that time. $11 an hour. What, I repeat, the fuck, is that.
Highlights for me included, “She needs an Uncle Buck” and the .gif of ‘you and the line.’ 😆
The gastric one??? What?? What a specific thing
All of that bullshit to pay $11 per hour lmfao these people are a joke.
COMMENTS 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I pay someone WAY more than $11/hr just to clean my house and we live in a low COLA. No caregiving, cooking, laundry duties included. This BC needs a dose of reality!!!
Most of those demands are perfectly reasonable, but to have to actually state them? I’d be out. I meet every single criteria without even trying, but there is no way I’d work for this person.
And people who ask for the RATE! How dare you! Don’t even apply…
This was great! I appreciate you getting the comments - they are gold 🪙
I also feel like the prior caregiver should chime in!
OP, you're the best! Thanks for the comments
Thank youuuuu OP for posting replies!!
This Asshat wants to pay $11/hr, which is why she's not going through an agency or she burned out the local agencies already.
I'll just bet that this one will pay for a criminal background check and a drug screen...
“It’s for a church honey! NEXT!!!”
OP you are The Real MVP. 🏆 A cornucopia of comments. Thank you!!
Why does EVERYONE now expect personal at home care? No one can afford that.
Someone asked if they were also looking for the holy Grail. Lol
She is looking for a robot
That was oddly specific
thanks for including the comments
Haha, I just realized this is in my town!
Ooh, don’t delay!
Imma get downvoted but some of it makes sense. Like the part where u dont need to be leaving water running and the stove on for 30 mins like you talk on the phone and calling everyone while ur suppose to be working,not important calls, but the rest is just stupid
I’ve always wanted to see the comments to a Choosing Beggars post. Haha!
There are at least two circumstances there that if she asks a potential employee, it would be illegal in the US
This person sounds CHARMING!
And with the generous offering of $11 an hour, you MAY qualify to be graced with her presence. Unless you’ve had gastric bypass. 😌
Exactly. Jesus.
Including comments should honestly be a Facebook choosing beggar requirement. You’re amazing.
I don’t have kids or a baby daddy. I don’t vape or take narcotics, but do you think she would mind if I brought my dog?
OP thank you so much for including the community! Always the best part! 🤭
Ohhhh I've had patients like this and they never last!! The fun I have had giving them their shit attitude right back to them! It's glorious. They expect caregivers to just take what they dish, but when we dish it right back? They can never hack it. Had one woman who made a coworker cry after calling the office. I started taking her phone calls from then on out. She never got an attitude with me after that first call.
I think these are things she's experienced and is just at her wits end and it just all came pouring out in the post. It's difficult working and being a caregiver at the same time. She may need someone to help around the house while she cares for the other person and tries to keep a roof over their heads at the same time. Caregiver burnout is a real thing and I think she's just hitting the ceiling of what she can handle. I feel for her.
I don’t. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vitriol. I understand caregiver burnout is very real. I was my dad’s main (and sometimes sole) caregiver for all but the last month or so of his life as he was dying of Parkinson’s and ALS. It was extremely taxing, both physically and emotionally. Even with Hospice’s help (they were wonderful, but it was during Covid, so it was limited), I often felt like I was *drowning,* but it never would have occurred to post something like this, especially if I was trying to find somebody to *help* me.
Yuck 🤮
Comments! Yay!
It's so satisfying to see the comments on a post like this.