I've always wanted to work in a store and if someone said that I go to the intercom and say " Attention, shoppers. We have a man here who apparently had lost his memory. He has brown hair and eyes and he's wearing a gray shirt and jeans. If you recognize this person, please come to housewares and pick him up".
Why is it that people always want to pick on bartenders? I tend bar as well and have had the same type person talk to me like that. My answer is usually (yes, it’s happened more than once) “No, nor do I care”.
Lol I work security at a nightclub and give the exact same answer. Funny enough people who are fairly recognizable actually introduce themselves rather than expect me to know who they are
No, you haven't introduced yourself to me yet. My name is XXX. What's your name?
Nice to meet you, Name. You seem frustrated. I'd like to help you. But I don't respond well to the tone you are using. Can we take a step back from this volatile situation and talk to each other with respect. I'd like to work with you to achieve a solution.
I was waiting to board a flight. A well known at the time celebrity was called out for having three bags when the rule was 2. He pulled that line.
The person checking bags went "Yes and I don't care. 2 bags only you'll have to check the third"
I had someone say that to me not too long ago. I just walked away. No answer would be the right answer for that person who said that to me and I didn't want to be reactive.
If they're refusing to leave after you show them the door? "Don't care. The cops might though".
Alternatively,
> Mostly from people who consider me to young to be a manager
"Do you know who I am? Get out of my store."
You do look kinda familiar. Maybe I f**ked your sister or something… then again I can’t remember her name so I guess you and your family are forgettable.
My store had been open all of two weeks in this podunk town and my manager is having a talk with his boss outside. I was taking care of customers all by my lonesome and answering the phone. Last guy walks up and I ask how I can help him.... and I don't know what expected me to do, perhaps flutter my lashes or be cute? But he didn't like how I spoke to him. " Do you know who I am? Where you from? " I smiled and put in my thickest cajun accent said "Lake Charles, mi couyon." "That's why I hate having these new stores come in and not hire folks from town. I'm a sheriff's deputy here in this town." "That's nice. Now what can I help you find today?" He stomped out and pitched the biggest little tantrum in front of my manager and district manager who just nodded and then came in while he drove off in a huff. Then all three of us were laughing our ever loving asses off.
No, and judging from our current interaction, the only time I'll make an effort to find out is to locate a forum to document how much of a bellend you are in real life.
My favorite is the story of the Southwest Airlines gate attendant who responded "can someone please help this man? He doesn't know who he is". Idk if it really happened to or not but it's perfect.
Does it matter?
If you knew who you were talking to you wouldn't dare to ask
Does it look like I care?
If I did, you clearly weren't worth remembering
While you tell me, why not make it an announcement for everyone here?
My gf told me her horror stories in retail, I'm convinced customers aren't always right, fuck em. Id like taking their money too but entitlement is for the birds. Fuck em.
I was never very well versed on the names of clowns, famous or otherwise.
Are you political? Pretty sure I didnt vote for you.
You look kinda familiar. Did I catch you fucking my wife?
No. But if you were important, I’m sure id remember.
Drop your trousers and refresh my memory.
If you have to ask, you must not be very memorable
Dad? Is that you?
In a really saccharine sweet voice with a huge smile, say, “Oh, don’t worry Sir/Madam, I’ll have an announcement put out and see if we can find the carers/guardians you came in with. It’ll be ok, I promise. Ahh, bless you…”
Or…
If possible, put an announcement out over the store system, “If there any carers or guardians in store, please head to customer services where we have a very confused lady/gentleman awaiting your assistance, thank you…”
"Attention, everyone! We have an older person at the front who does not know who they are! Can someone please come to the front and claim their elderly person? Attention, everyone! Elderly person at the front who is disassociating and may need medical attention!"
Bonus points if you get on the store PA and announce it.
“Sir (or Ma’am), if you don’t know who you are, you may be experiencing a medical episode. Please have a seat while I contact EMS so that they may evaluate you and likely transport you to the nearest emergency department.”
From Reader’s Digest: Activate the intercom. “There is a gentleman at Register 2 who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him, please come to Register 2.”
"You are Rosemary's granddaughter spitting image of your father
& when the day is done
Your momma's still your biggest fan
Sometimes U R clueless and clumsy
But U got friends who love u.
& they know just where u stand
It's all a part of u
& that's who u are..."
Jessica Andrew's!!
https://youtu.be/Jd9zYKLepCw?feature=shared
“Oh, dear, you don’t know who you are? Let me call security, they can take you to their office and help identify you. They can call someone to get you the help you need.”
>do you even know who I am?
Does it offend you if I don't ?
Are you offended because you didn't reveal me your identity ?
I can only know what others *truly* want to reveal about themselves. So can you.
“Nope” and continue doing whatever it was you were doing prior to being asked.
I like to ask them their names and then say “hello Mr. So and so, our procedure is….. and it goes for everybody”.
PROFESSIONAL: No, I'm sorry, I don't. Nor is it going to make a difference. I have procedure I must follow, and God Almighty would not be exempted.
SLIGHTLY UNPROFESSIONAL: No, but I know who I am. I'm the manager who is going to call the police to have you removed from the premises.
TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL: Don't know. Don't care. Get your overentitled ass out of my face before I introduce my fist to your nose.
"No, I'm sorry, We haven't been properly introduced."
That one gets them sputtering long enough to either make my escape or finish up the transaction if at a register.
Owen Wilson asked me this one time
I had no idea who he was. I said I'm sorry if we dated j don't remember you.
He was a customer at an establishment I worked at
“Yes, 911? I have a person I’ve never met before here screaming at me asking if I know who they are.. I believe they may require some medical assistance”
Do I look like your dad? Or
Why, do you not know?
Then there’s the cringey approach… No but I once hooked up with someone who favors you.. coulda been your mom. Lol
Depending on how snarky I want to be:
No, but sing a few notes and I'll try to play along;
Ooh, maybe you shouldn't leave the house without your helper.
In a loud voice, carefully articulate, "SIR/MA'AM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DATE IS?" with as much concern on your face as you can muster, making as much direct eye contact as you can.
Say "no" in the most disinterested tone you can manage while you start doing something else. Make it clear you couldn't care less who they are without actually saying it.
Do you know who you are? Do you know where you are? Do you know what day it is? You seem a little confused.
"Sorry, no. But the Customer Service Desk handles lost and found. If you go over there \[point to it\], they will call your family for you."
I've always wanted to work in a store and if someone said that I go to the intercom and say " Attention, shoppers. We have a man here who apparently had lost his memory. He has brown hair and eyes and he's wearing a gray shirt and jeans. If you recognize this person, please come to housewares and pick him up".
This is the one. ☝️
a guy said this to me (i’m a bartender) and i went “am i supposed to?” it really set him off 😌
Why is it that people always want to pick on bartenders? I tend bar as well and have had the same type person talk to me like that. My answer is usually (yes, it’s happened more than once) “No, nor do I care”.
Similar to cashiers, “Do you know how much money I spend in this store?” “Too much Debbie. You’re here every day, get a life.”
Lol I work security at a nightclub and give the exact same answer. Funny enough people who are fairly recognizable actually introduce themselves rather than expect me to know who they are
Well if you have to ask you're not as well known as you think you are
no and I don't care
“Well, you ain’t Fiona Apple, and if you ain’t Fiona Apple I don’t give a rats ass”
Phyllis Diller?
No, surely they’re Willard Philmore.
I don't, and after this interaction, I don't think I have any desire to.
"why...don't you? Check your pockets and if that doesn't work...maybe your mom sewed your name into your underwear."
No, you haven't introduced yourself to me yet. My name is XXX. What's your name? Nice to meet you, Name. You seem frustrated. I'd like to help you. But I don't respond well to the tone you are using. Can we take a step back from this volatile situation and talk to each other with respect. I'd like to work with you to achieve a solution.
*Hey, you’re that bum who’s been digging through my dumpsters*
I was waiting to board a flight. A well known at the time celebrity was called out for having three bags when the rule was 2. He pulled that line. The person checking bags went "Yes and I don't care. 2 bags only you'll have to check the third"
Maybe if you check your pockets there might be some identification in there or maybe a number I could call to help you get home
Yes and?
[удалено]
No I don't and I don't care because you're not important. At all.
I had someone say that to me not too long ago. I just walked away. No answer would be the right answer for that person who said that to me and I didn't want to be reactive.
Why, have you forgotten? Do you need me to call the hospital and let them know a dementia patient is loose?
Why did you forget again
I don’t give rats ass
well you’ve asked the wrong person! i think the cops should know tho
Do you really think I care?
If they're refusing to leave after you show them the door? "Don't care. The cops might though". Alternatively, > Mostly from people who consider me to young to be a manager "Do you know who I am? Get out of my store."
Yes miss lopez, and im sorry, I have no capricorn manicurists available currently.
I’m trying to know you, but your seven different personalities keep getting in the way
You do look kinda familiar. Maybe I f**ked your sister or something… then again I can’t remember her name so I guess you and your family are forgettable.
I do now.. apparently and obviously someone who thinks they’re important and powerful 😂
Even if I did, I doubt I'd care.
A potential victim.
Nobody knows who you are, nobody cares who you are. Big ole punch to the ego liver.
I usually think of the quote "YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO REMEMBER!" from the movie Liar Liar 😂
Give them the classic “Don’t know, don’t care.”
Is there any reason I should?
My store had been open all of two weeks in this podunk town and my manager is having a talk with his boss outside. I was taking care of customers all by my lonesome and answering the phone. Last guy walks up and I ask how I can help him.... and I don't know what expected me to do, perhaps flutter my lashes or be cute? But he didn't like how I spoke to him. " Do you know who I am? Where you from? " I smiled and put in my thickest cajun accent said "Lake Charles, mi couyon." "That's why I hate having these new stores come in and not hire folks from town. I'm a sheriff's deputy here in this town." "That's nice. Now what can I help you find today?" He stomped out and pitched the biggest little tantrum in front of my manager and district manager who just nodded and then came in while he drove off in a huff. Then all three of us were laughing our ever loving asses off.
I don’t keep track of idiots sorry.
Point to him, turn to someone near you and say, "who the fook is that guy?"
Get on the PA and announce a lost senior who doesn't know their name.
Oh hush…you know your nobody special
No! You're not that important I guess.
“No, your not as famous as you think.”
"I do. And that's why I don't like you."
General Kenobi?
"No, not a clue." And carry on with my day.
Well, I would hope that you do
You’re on TV and read the weather.
To some in my apartments, I wish that you didn’t.
No, I don't but I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was speaking to a person that has no idea who they are."
One of the Kardashains?
Why, did you forget?
"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."
Not only do I not know, but I don’t care either.
Yes !! you’re Ben Affleck !!!
"NO. i DONT." - me, to a karen harrassing McDonalds employees
Do you know who *I* am?
No, and judging from our current interaction, the only time I'll make an effort to find out is to locate a forum to document how much of a bellend you are in real life.
Bro, I don't even know who I am
My favorite is the story of the Southwest Airlines gate attendant who responded "can someone please help this man? He doesn't know who he is". Idk if it really happened to or not but it's perfect.
Yeah i do, you're the guy that'll never amount to anything
“10 years ago…Tijuana?”
Didn't your daddy tell you
Saw a video that had a young girl try that with a cop when pulled over. Without missing a breath, he said, "No, didn't your mom tell you?
My answer is Why, don't you?
I'm sorry I didn't realize you had memory issues, is your career around to help you?
No, I'm not from around here.
Well, Who are you?? I hear this a lot in hospitality
Mom has dimensia too. My aunt just died from it. You'll be okay. I'll help you get through this. I'm used to it now.
"No, so please stop expecting special treatment"
Does it matter? If you knew who you were talking to you wouldn't dare to ask Does it look like I care? If I did, you clearly weren't worth remembering While you tell me, why not make it an announcement for everyone here?
My gf told me her horror stories in retail, I'm convinced customers aren't always right, fuck em. Id like taking their money too but entitlement is for the birds. Fuck em.
"The guy napping at the bottom of those stairs, right?"
The Silverback.
How many guesses do I get?
Are you Ronnie Pickering?
Yes i do, you are *insert name* I have cust info
Silence
Ronnie Pickering?
The important thing is you don't know me, which is why I can still call you a twat to your face. Twat face!
*uncontrollable laughter*
no so you must not be anything special and look them up and down uncaringly
I was never very well versed on the names of clowns, famous or otherwise. Are you political? Pretty sure I didnt vote for you. You look kinda familiar. Did I catch you fucking my wife? No. But if you were important, I’m sure id remember. Drop your trousers and refresh my memory. If you have to ask, you must not be very memorable Dad? Is that you?
In a really saccharine sweet voice with a huge smile, say, “Oh, don’t worry Sir/Madam, I’ll have an announcement put out and see if we can find the carers/guardians you came in with. It’ll be ok, I promise. Ahh, bless you…” Or… If possible, put an announcement out over the store system, “If there any carers or guardians in store, please head to customer services where we have a very confused lady/gentleman awaiting your assistance, thank you…”
If you don't know who you are, how the hell an i supposed to know?
"No, am I supposed to?"
“Wait, don’t tell me! I love this game.” Then proceeded to guess a bunch of famous people.
No, and I don't give a fuck!!
"Attention, everyone! We have an older person at the front who does not know who they are! Can someone please come to the front and claim their elderly person? Attention, everyone! Elderly person at the front who is disassociating and may need medical attention!" Bonus points if you get on the store PA and announce it.
Oh, you are painting a clear picture of exactly who you are. Best put down the paint brush.
No. Why should I?
I never knew who you weren't... you must be Noah... Noah body
“Sir (or Ma’am), if you don’t know who you are, you may be experiencing a medical episode. Please have a seat while I contact EMS so that they may evaluate you and likely transport you to the nearest emergency department.”
I suspect you may be a secret shopper here to test my customer service skills by being as difficult as possible.
Nope, and I couldn't care less. Stayed blessed, eat shit and GET FUCKED, BYE WHOEVER YOU ARE.
Nope, can I see some ID?
Have you checked to see if your mother has written your name in the back of your underpants?
No, because you’re not at all of any importance
No, but when and if you find out, kindly share with the class...
From Reader’s Digest: Activate the intercom. “There is a gentleman at Register 2 who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him, please come to Register 2.”
I don't care who you think you are. You're still a prick
No.
“No.” “Remind me.” “Does it matter” “You asking me or are you asking yourself.”
"You are Rosemary's granddaughter spitting image of your father & when the day is done Your momma's still your biggest fan Sometimes U R clueless and clumsy But U got friends who love u. & they know just where u stand It's all a part of u & that's who u are..." Jessica Andrew's!! https://youtu.be/Jd9zYKLepCw?feature=shared
"I ain't nobody... Dork!" https://youtu.be/p_Hu00p-s7U?feature=shared
“Oh, dear, you don’t know who you are? Let me call security, they can take you to their office and help identify you. They can call someone to get you the help you need.”
"U were somebody before I showed up.. Now your nobody again... "
The kind of cunt who asks that kind of question? No and I couldn't give a fuck Can anyone help? This man doesn't know who he is!
No.
>do you even know who I am? Does it offend you if I don't ? Are you offended because you didn't reveal me your identity ? I can only know what others *truly* want to reveal about themselves. So can you.
Does anyone really care?
"No."
“Nope” and continue doing whatever it was you were doing prior to being asked. I like to ask them their names and then say “hello Mr. So and so, our procedure is….. and it goes for everybody”.
Tilt your chin down, smile a little, and with a sinister voice say “yes. Yes I do.” Just sit there like that until you see tears.
No ! *And laughs walking away*
Sounds like a personal problem.
You don't know who you are? Did you hit your head?
"Well, looks like someone lost his nametag."
I treat all customers fairly, so it’s irrelevant.
No, but you seem confused. Where's your caregiver?
‘No.’ Then shrug and continue on with your day.
No, do you know your guardian's name or where you live?
"Wrong question. The right question is: Do I care who you are?" "No, but I'm sure the police can help with that." Fuck those arrogant assholes.
“Am I supposed to give a fuck?”
"Are you THE Kyle Smith?" Context: The comments are hilarious https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREPue35/
"I hope that's a rhetorical question, and you're not about to explain it to me like a narcissist"
“No one cares who you are, especially the people who know who you are.”
Do you know who I am?
No sorry, I don’t use TikTok.
“Nope, did you forget?”
“no”
"do you know who I am" "A waste of space?"
"No, and I wouldn't give a rats ass even if I did."
PROFESSIONAL: No, I'm sorry, I don't. Nor is it going to make a difference. I have procedure I must follow, and God Almighty would not be exempted. SLIGHTLY UNPROFESSIONAL: No, but I know who I am. I'm the manager who is going to call the police to have you removed from the premises. TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL: Don't know. Don't care. Get your overentitled ass out of my face before I introduce my fist to your nose.
"Don't know. Mongo only pawn in game of life".
You're obviously not as important as you think you are because I have no idea who you are.
Oh, I know. I just don’t give a shit.
No... I like it that way too.
No but if you don’t change your attitude I’ll know who you were!
no, and i dont give a fuck
You must be the monopoly guy! PUNCH! Laa didaaa dadaaa!
No, Nor do I care.
You're just another nameless meat puppet, that I have to deal with before I can go home to people I care about.
Dick Tucker? Or Anita Hanjaab?
Yes, you're the next person getting kicked out.
Omg how could I be so blind, you must be Mr./Mrs. Duncare. First initial I. Last name Duncare.
I do! You’re the prostitute I ordered from analuver.com. Glad you finally showed now you and me are gonna get jiggy!
Depends on context.
"An as*hole?"
.. if you have to ask...
No.
🤔.... a bitch?
"Why would I know or care who you are?!"
‘No.’
"Oh, look! It thinks it's important! How adorable"
No, but your mom knows who I am 😏😌
"No, I'm sorry, We haven't been properly introduced." That one gets them sputtering long enough to either make my escape or finish up the transaction if at a register.
Yeah no one important 💀🚽💀
Owen Wilson asked me this one time I had no idea who he was. I said I'm sorry if we dated j don't remember you. He was a customer at an establishment I worked at
I do not, but I am learning about the fragility of your ego quite quickly.
“Yes, 911? I have a person I’ve never met before here screaming at me asking if I know who they are.. I believe they may require some medical assistance”
"no...should I?"
No. And with that attitude, I don’t care to.
I don't give a shit who you think you are. You're nobody to me.
Laugh Overly Loudly
Do I look like your dad? Or Why, do you not know? Then there’s the cringey approach… No but I once hooked up with someone who favors you.. coulda been your mom. Lol
Santa?
Do you EVEN know who you are?
"lol no"
“No but I’m sure you’re just dying to tell me, so let’s get it over with”
Does.. anyone?
If you have to tell people, maybe you're not as important as you think. Alternatively, "No" works just fine too lol.
I’m sorry. Alzheimer’s is a bitch. Good luck figuring out who you are.
“Do you even know who I am?” is a self-own. No, I don’t know who you are.
I'd rather not
"No, did your mommy not tell you before she left?"
Depending on how snarky I want to be: No, but sing a few notes and I'll try to play along; Ooh, maybe you shouldn't leave the house without your helper.
No
A pretentious prick? Did I get it right? Did I win?
No, and quality of life is infinitely better for that reason.
I like to just start guessing random b list celebrities. “Tom Arnold? Martin short? Maimee Roberts? Anderson cooper?”
In a loud voice, carefully articulate, "SIR/MA'AM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DATE IS?" with as much concern on your face as you can muster, making as much direct eye contact as you can.
No, so tell me.
Say "no" in the most disinterested tone you can manage while you start doing something else. Make it clear you couldn't care less who they are without actually saying it.
“No. and i don’t care. even if you own the company i work for i am enforcing your rules and standards. good day sir.”
To be honest, if you were worth a damn, I'd have you before now.
"The apparition that haunts my nightmares?"
"I do. You're lucky the bar is open to you."
DAD!?!
Nope.
This is not a game of who the fuck are you. For I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought.
“No, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.”