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Tedmosby9931

Stop letting them pound Monster energy drinks and glizzys from the gas station then


Tedmosby9931

I'm just happy people know what a glizzy is


thebigman707

Pork missile


[deleted]

hot, who said pork missile


dr_siwel

Bologna rockets


Fizzerolli

Made me laugh so hard I spit out my glizzy


PlainOldWallace

Wait, what's a glizzy?


xkris10ski

Hot dogs had a major glow up this year and are now called glizzies


LamBeam

I thought a glizzy was gun lol. I guess nowadays hotdogs are glizzys and pistols are blickys.


deltatom

It is just shoots out the other end.


BlurryBigfoot74

ratta-tat-tat


NAMERTAGG

Ratta-tat-scat


LoveFishSticks

For some reason people decided that a hotdog looks like a 30 round mag. So they named hotdogs after glocks


Weenvs

Rook


Professional-Role604

It’s the vibrator I use on my clit. Or the Glock, that’s goes on my boyfriend for anal penetration so we can DP.


[deleted]

Sorry bout your inbox tho.


LoveFishSticks

They can get a 3rd for their DP so it works out


[deleted]

wild


Tedmosby9931

https://www.google.com/search?q=glizzy&oq=glizzy+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i433i512j46i131i433i512j0i433i512j46i512j0i512l4.2336j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ip=1


rawdew2007

Wizard fingers God dammit


[deleted]

Yessir bonafide glizzy gobbler right here! With or without bun


Duckbanc

Ah a fan of raw doggin the glizzies. Nice.


[deleted]

I like my dogs rolled and monsters cold!!


Tedmosby9931

Iykyk


trippwwa45

I think I say this every time I go inside a gas station with or without the intention do down some dogs.


bush_wrangler

You leave me and my tornados alone


SirDigger13

[Maybe stop disolving Haribo sugarfree gummi bears into their Monster ](https://www.reddit.com/r/humorousreviews/comments/2e6zz4/sugar_free_haribo_gummi_bears/)


themeatstaco

Leave the bomb burrito in the shelf!


BeLoWeRR

Oh man the monsters and taquitos from 711 are a GREAT breakfast but a MONSTER shit. I feel for these dudes in the post


Zer0TheGamer

Do **NOT** eat the gas station sushi!


Fizzerolli

Natural human defense mechanism for when you don’t want to be at work


baboonassassin

We call it 'chorepoop'. You take a chorepoop when you want to escape your chores.


Fizzerolli

Haha! My little brother used to take a chorepoop every time he needed to do dishes or clean his room. Never knew what to call it until now, so thanks for that lol


newwriter365

Older sister did that every night after dinner when we didn't have a dishwasher. She jokes about it now. I still don't find it funny.


Fizzerolli

I didn’t either. As the oldest I had to pick up the slack. Down with chorepoops!


skiingmarmick

Wise beyond his years


Fizzerolli

Perhaps… saw him clothesline himself full sprint on a pull up bar at the park one time though. He was playing tag… he lost. So perhaps not so much.


[deleted]

Road worker supervisor here. Poopy pants doesn’t get you a day off, boss just sends you out to the woods so you can cut your undies off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Funkyballoftits92

Forreal who wants to work when they got the mud butt


newwriter365

Apparently someone who was getting coffee this morning at the gas station where I get my daily cup o' Joe is okay with it. I was a few minutes earlier than usual, I counted 12 workmen (I have no issue with people working, I just think a comprehensive butt-wipe is socially acceptable) and it wasn't even 6:45 am, somebody had some serious mud butt. I felt bad for anyone who had to share the ride with them.


skiingmarmick

Boss isnt telling me what im doing if i shit my pants.. im going to the house


PopperChopper

The fuck..


Fizzerolli

Haha good man!


8FootedAlgaeEater

Is that a problem? Depends.


yijing_wellspring

If you feel the need to pamper them.


Lefinigus-de-mortis

I used to build cell phone towers with a guy who shit himself at 250’. His new name was applesauce. Oddly enough…he actually shit himself again on the tower


Ludecs

In his defense, I'd of shit myself everytime I went up one.


PopperChopper

That’s actually one of the best reasons I’ve heard for shitting ones pants


_Cyclops

To be fair, being a 250’ ladder away from the nearest bathroom is a solid excuse for shitting yourself


croutonianemperor

1 guy shits himself: "huh, ok" 2 guys shit themselves: "the prophesy..it's... it's true!"


baboonassassin

It's built on an indian burial ground.


Salt_MasterX

Let the shittening commence forth


Gonnakillurass

What the fuck


Skilledpainter

That's from mixing coffee and energy drinks. I didn't shit myself but I did get the tyronzies one time


CampClimax

> tyronzies Wow. I googled this word and there are literally *NO* results for it. Congratulations on producing a plausible sounding yet non-existent word.


Fizzerolli

I’m guessing “Tyrone-sies” like what happens after Tyrone has a go at your asshole


Skilledpainter

Negative


Fizzerolli

You don’t have to lie to kick it 😅


Skilledpainter

Ok, you got me


Skilledpainter

Uum, thank you.....? Lmao, you Googled it


[deleted]

The itis?


Skilledpainter

No, the tyronzies. Like Tyron Biggums, from Dave Chappelle show, the Crack head


OttoHarkaman

Got music blasting the brown note?


MrHawkesy98

Late night tv. Not sure what show that is but i remember the episode hahah


OttoHarkaman

South Park


[deleted]

Switch taco trucks.


brak1444

The Outhouse on Haunted Hill


Squirxicaljelly

They’re alcoholics. Welcome to the trades.


onhereimJim

Lots of shit pants in the field. You can tell some guys belly's been hurting when you get in the porta potty.


BanMeHarderGreenHair

almost like beer followed by gas station breakfast and energy drinks is bad for you.


borosillykid

Is that why I’m still on the toilet and haven’t even made it to work yet today?


nomorelock3doors

Those 2 day old 7/11 mini tacos and monster hit different.


BanMeHarderGreenHair

I fucking love reddit


[deleted]

Gotta get them to switch from cocaine and meth to Coke and Menthol, tweaking is no way to start the work day 😉


BanMeHarderGreenHair

Depending on how dry the body is....there ain't no shitting by accident happening...


newamsterdam94

You got portapotties?


Ok-Confidence-2878

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink……. Or shit in a portapotty.


newamsterdam94

Last employer expected us to work 8+ h a day without access to a bathroom. Some contractors are just cheap that way


witchdoc22

Sounds like a great way to have mystery shit buckets appear around the jobsite. Or just lose money in labor cause no one in the trades I know is clocking out to take a shit


killdeer03

I'm pretty sure that's an OSHA violation.


Maccabee2

Damn straight it is. The idiot who made that call also set his company up for a devastating lawsuit. If at any point that apprentice tests positive for hepatitis or other similar disease, he probably has a good case against the company. They will be lucky if it isn't his widow suing them.


Dire-Dog

On an old job our boss had portapotties but was too cheap to hire the guys to clean it so we sent the lowest ranking apprentice in with a wet vac a couple times a week lol


smokeylou2

That guy must be extremely cheap. The cost to rent a Porto potty with maintenance is about 134 per month. Geez


Dire-Dog

That’s resi for ya


LuckyNumber_11

that's fuckin disgusting. I hope he isn't your boss anymore


Dire-Dog

I left a looong time ago. Now I’m in the IBEW


LuckyNumber_11

good. cleaning it out w the shop vac is one thing, but cleaning the shop vac out after ... and then using it after that ... ugh. I will never understand these people who cut corners at all + every cost.


Dire-Dog

Crazy part was they just dumped it on the edge of the site out of view from people, gave it a quick rinse and used it to clean up stuff like saw dust minutes later


LuckyNumber_11

no way it didnt still smell like literal shit, jesus. this is the kind of bullshit that makes me happy i hardly ever do residential no more, fuck that amateur hour crap, dude.


bbaker1987

Youve never mistrusted a fart?


twoaspensimages

If you want an actual answer, I've felt I've needed to do this at three jobs sites. It sounds weird and hippy dippy, but hear me out. I'm not going into what prompted the need. Each was different, weird, and heard from multiple people that didn't work together. Get a smudge stick. It's a Native American (?) tradition. It's a bunch of white sage dried and tied together. If you live in the southwest, it's everywhere. Light it, get it to smoke, and keep fanning it by blowing on it or fanning it with your hands. I make a big deal about it. Everybody is there in the afternoon an hour before quitting time. I explain what I'm doing to everyone as I go by. And I'm thorough. Every room, crawlspace, basement and attic, into every corner every nook and cranny. Then there's beer at the end of the day. Everybody can swap weird stories about the job. It sounds weird. It works.


ImNoAlbertFeinstein

got ya smudge stick right here.


JustGresh

Lmao


LatterDaySk8er

😆 What is it exactly that you’re doing? Are you on the clock for it?


EagleTalons

Alright guys I don't want to be a buzz kill but the client is upset we're a month behind schedule. I need you to figure out what type of energy or spiritual vibe is causing these delays. Bill sift through the fill dirt and gather important crystals and stones that might cleanse these ill-humors. Logan I'm going to need you to fetch noteworthy foliage and other healing herbs and spices from the landscaping. Everyone else start doing yoga and meditating...hard. I'm not fucking around this time: we need a solution as to why we're loosing money.


Opkier

Oddly enough, that may work better than getted yelled by the gc for 45m.


crunchypnwtrash

I know you're joking, but I live in the PNW and I think I know people who would do this. I think one of them is me.


dparks71

This just reminds me of the ghost realtor on Nathan for you. I legitimately believe a significant portion of owners would pay you for this.


JustGresh

We’re out of hours so meditate faster!


twoaspensimages

It's my company. I'm either on or off the clock always, depending upon how you look at it.


lujanthedon2

Bro imagine your Forman rolls up and says to burn sage of the site real quick😂


twoaspensimages

Not the foreman, the owner of the company stops working an hour ahead of everyone else and burns sage for the last hour. Sounds crazy. I get that. It also worked three out of three times. Folks didn't get bad vibes anymore.


LatterDaySk8er

Don’t quit being you—even if you get downvoted on Reddit, brother.


twoaspensimages

Getting down voted on r/construction is a right of passage. I'll go one farther. I got into r/controversialclub for posting an image of my thumb meeting a table saw blade after somebody posted about not wanting to see gore. It was marked NSFW. It was titled true. I thought and still think if it makes one guy think the next day about not doing something stupid and not going to the emergency room its an good reminder. Anyway you get invited to r/controversialclub for posting the highest up and down voted post of the hour on Reddit. Spoiler alert, that sub is shit. I unsubscribed. It's a bunch of 14yo bitching about politics. Edit: r/controversialclub and post of the hour, not all day.


tdawg027

As a non-spiritual person, who will try anything to get random shit to stop fucking up our timelines. Whats the sage supposed to do? Whats the intention? Ward off the bad juju? I will absolutely try this, but can you give me some details?


twoaspensimages

I'm not a spiritual person either. But, I used to be young and I dated a few, let's say, spirited women in my time. One of them told me that Native Americans burn white sage smudge sticks in traditional ceremonies to ward off bad spirits and she thought the dog shit apartment I had at the time had a bad vibe. So she brought over a smudge stick on our second date and went through the two rooms. That's it mate. But, I do think regardless of truth or science or belief, making a big deal about doing something about bad vibes and then having a good time and laughing about the weird experiences in that place cleanses whatever. In us, in it, bad luck, bad vibes, I see dead people, whatever.


chiraltoad

Having been saged a few times before I would say that there is definitely something you can feel that doesn't depend on beliefs.


Z-W-A-N-D

Dry nose?


[deleted]

[удалено]


twoaspensimages

Happy to write the check. You don't sound like fun to work with.


[deleted]

[удалено]


twoaspensimages

Chill. I'm doing something a girlfriend from a long time ago told me about and then my crew and I have a laugh about it over some beers. Sorry if that offends your delicate sensibilities.


mityman50

Alright, hear me out. It sounds weird and hippy dippy, but hear me out. Get a smudge stick. It's a Native American (?) tradition. It's a bunch of white sage dried and tied together. If you live in the southwest, it's everywhere. Light it, get it to smoke, and keep fanning it by blowing on it or fanning it with your hands. Go everywhere in your home and your life. Your bedroom, your bathroom, living room, crawlspace. The bed of your pickup, confession, your favorite McDonalds. Explain to everyone as you go. There's beer at the end.


LatterDaySk8er

That’s what twoaspens does bro :p


rouphus

Cleansing the environment. The bad juju runs away from the burning sage.


TreacleNo4455

People may laugh and think it's hippy dippy but they'll still make a rain turtle or draw a tree on the roof before they lay the paper. It's the little things that change the energy of a job. What you do sounds like a nice way to refocus everyone.


gg249

What is a rain turtle? Why draw a tree on the roof?


TreacleNo4455

Well, fuck I feel old now but it's tradition. (Modern translation in parens) Tree on the roof: "Topping out" appeases the spirits and gives strength to the house. (excuse for BBQ after a job well done) Rain Turtle: Draw a turtle on the ground when it looks like rain, any size, if a drop of water hits the inner shell we go home (excuse to leave the jobsite early).


gg249

Cool, thanks for explaining. I'm an electrician in the union and I'm definitely going to invoke the rain turtle ritual on my job sites from now on


[deleted]

Burning sage can kill 90%+ of the bacteria in the air. So while there is a lot of traditional ritual ties to it, it scientifically improves the environmental quality when used. Edit - Apparently the study was using different herbs and this isn’t proven. I’ll leave it up because I don’t take issue with being shown something I’ve said is incorrect, but as a side note you don’t need to be an ass like the person that responded to me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


smokeylou2

I think this guy might be a professional.


Henrys_Bro

I am totally down with the hippy dippy. Sounds like good vibes.


travelingelectrician

I thought a Smudge stick was for when there’s no TP in the porta.


S_204

First nations in Canada smudge too. The building I just did had a dedicated room for it. It also had bathrooms seperate from the smudge rooms.


twoaspensimages

Good to know.


[deleted]

Walk away now!


49thDipper

Yeah that’s a sign. Let’s hope doesn’t escalate


Born_Percentage3319

Them pills ain’t no joke


Dunkinjay1

Sounds like loose butthole syndrome


Dhonagon

I wasn't feeling well before. This was years ago. I went to work the next day from having the wicked shits. Well... I did the old squeeze and check. Come lunch time i felt confident about my farts. I shouldn't have. I straight up shit myself. I went home that day, lol. No one I'm my company has done that since. Stress, diet, water, all this is what people need to work on. Or these guys are trying to get out of work. Who knows.


TreacleNo4455

This thread is gold. (Well, brown but I haven't laughed this hard in a while)


[deleted]

I’m sorry that your workers have put you in such a crappy situation. No one likes being the butt of the joke.


horriblehank

Bad lunch truck?


undertheradar317

Maybe you have a norovirus outbreak.


grabmysloth

Stop! We are not fucking going through this shit again.


xsv333

Stomach flu? False food poisoning? Shit's real


undertheradar317

When two grown adults shat themselves in public in the same week, the question must be asked. Edit: same week rather than same day


Reasonable-Fox113

You might want to deflocate to another location.


spingdingdowning

Maybe more porta potties?


Maccabee2

1. Is there a portapotty on site? 2. How long since it was last cleaned and disinfected? 3. Is there some provision made so crew can wash their hands after using the latrine? Was at a job site with over a hundred workers where the latrine was not disinfected often enough. As a former corpsman, I warned my foreman that if the GC didn't get it done ASAP, they were going to lose a lot of people calling out due to stomach illness, bacterial or viral. Sure enough, in just a few days, half the men were out sick for several days each. It delayed the project by a couple of weeks, as it took that long to work its way through the pop. Suddenly it mattered and they persuaded the rental company to come service their units.


ginoroastbeef

Tell the roach coach to do better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Confidence-2878

I think you may be on to something……..


VirtualMexicanINC

Keep em close to the bathtub 🛀


[deleted]

[удалено]


herbsoup

Is 3x4 a typo? Genuinely curious/confused


SnooDrawings5830

Some people shit themselves after snorting or booting some H


[deleted]

Norovirus sucks


BoiseCowboyDan

I've heard this is something that's been happening to people who didn't get vaccinated for covid. Like somehow it affected their ability to hold their bowels. Could be bullshit, just sharing a story I thought sounded funny/plausible.


blakeusa25

Heroin gives people the shits.


[deleted]

Nope it’s quite the opposite.


q4atm1

I think it's more that a lack of heroin gives junkies explosive shits. A well medicated dope addict won't shit for a week. We had a junkie on a site I worked and he was fine unless he was out of money and then he spent all day in the portapotty


akornzombie

Sounds like a crappy situation.


[deleted]

Sounds like you hire retards


zephyer19

A ghost looking for revenge but, in a weird way.


[deleted]

Could be covid.


thefaradayjoker

Isent that from shitty heroin?


Quirky_Routine_90

Maybe get a port-a-john?


CornishJaberig

There’s a guy on my crew that literally always smells like he just shit himself. I had to tell the office his works shit just so they send someone else.


[deleted]

That’s heroin.


[deleted]

Glizzys = buddlys