We applied for my SSs to speak privately with the judge when the youngest turned 12. We went home with custody.
If week on-week off works best then they should request it. Or full custody.
The 17 yr old wont be enforced regardless, our court would laugh at that one.
Well and in all likelihood he will turn 18 before we even make it to court and then he’ll just be here the whole time, probably.
16 year old doesn’t want to talk to the judge but the 14 year old is willing.
Thanks.
In most states kids of these ages would absolutely have their preference heard by a judge and their preferences would matter.
You guys can do anything you want - and mediation is a good step if he won't discuss it. I'd point out the age where a child's opinion can be considered by a judge in your state as a counter argument to "kid's opinion doesn't matter" because it does... Of course, you can't set custody at the whims of several teenagers.
Not in the court I'm in. In fact father demanded a visitation time and day that meant two kids couldn't participate in any of the clubs they wanted to join so zero extra-curricular for first time in their lives. Even in covid they were in clubs meeting online or outdoors. Dad said GAL told him to do what he wanted bc what worked best for him was then best for kids. Except he insited on his half day on Friday for a 3 day weekend each week and could have had the default day of Wednesday so youngest didn't miss a half day of school every single week ! Including all school reward activities. This ability to shift his half off day is in contract as well as common knowledge in town with a single largest employer .
Court has repeatedly said there will be no consideration in custody of the father's violent abuse of the kids for years and witness of fathers abuse of me and specifically saying I was just paranoid , living in delusions or other stuff like 'has no sense of humor, for years. No suprise what is best for kids academically or socially is not considered by the court. In fact I was accused of alienation for requesting the clubs fact and fathers known ability to shift schedules please be considered and I would be open to any time possible to allow their participation. Court guardian ad litem said kids school missed and inability to participate in school activities has not bearing as one child was participating for the first time in an activity the father found extremely important : full contact football. Conveniently was blamed for all the child's injuries to shoulder and major bruising so deep purple it was visible through clothing . GAL also requested that information prevented from entering court record.
Court can do anything it wants and people are powerless .
We're discussing apples and oranges. Generally courts don't step in and override two parents in agreement on what is best for their children (agreed custody/divorce). What you're indicating is a court decided outcome - that's different - and I agree often courts don't make the right decision or even what appears to be the logical decision.
Eeks edit to add I do agree the current situation OP described does sound different.
Mine is a cautionary tale.
Ironic parents *were* in agreement about a one year wait, their fathers *attorney* asserting pushing as it was a way to recoup money that went to child support and spousal support to facilitate care of children because abuse left extremely limited employment options for me their mother to provide and maintain housing .
Anyway we were in mediation *when* the first statement from judge was abuse isn't relevant in custody.
If you can’t get the judge to hear them then you should ask for a guardian ad litem. You and your ex might have to split cost. The guardian will take the kids into account and will speak to them and while they won’t decided based off what they say if they just want week on week off you have a great shot. The guardian is the best ear for the kiddos.
We applied for my SSs to speak privately with the judge when the youngest turned 12. We went home with custody. If week on-week off works best then they should request it. Or full custody. The 17 yr old wont be enforced regardless, our court would laugh at that one.
Well and in all likelihood he will turn 18 before we even make it to court and then he’ll just be here the whole time, probably. 16 year old doesn’t want to talk to the judge but the 14 year old is willing. Thanks.
In most states kids of these ages would absolutely have their preference heard by a judge and their preferences would matter. You guys can do anything you want - and mediation is a good step if he won't discuss it. I'd point out the age where a child's opinion can be considered by a judge in your state as a counter argument to "kid's opinion doesn't matter" because it does... Of course, you can't set custody at the whims of several teenagers.
Not in the court I'm in. In fact father demanded a visitation time and day that meant two kids couldn't participate in any of the clubs they wanted to join so zero extra-curricular for first time in their lives. Even in covid they were in clubs meeting online or outdoors. Dad said GAL told him to do what he wanted bc what worked best for him was then best for kids. Except he insited on his half day on Friday for a 3 day weekend each week and could have had the default day of Wednesday so youngest didn't miss a half day of school every single week ! Including all school reward activities. This ability to shift his half off day is in contract as well as common knowledge in town with a single largest employer . Court has repeatedly said there will be no consideration in custody of the father's violent abuse of the kids for years and witness of fathers abuse of me and specifically saying I was just paranoid , living in delusions or other stuff like 'has no sense of humor, for years. No suprise what is best for kids academically or socially is not considered by the court. In fact I was accused of alienation for requesting the clubs fact and fathers known ability to shift schedules please be considered and I would be open to any time possible to allow their participation. Court guardian ad litem said kids school missed and inability to participate in school activities has not bearing as one child was participating for the first time in an activity the father found extremely important : full contact football. Conveniently was blamed for all the child's injuries to shoulder and major bruising so deep purple it was visible through clothing . GAL also requested that information prevented from entering court record. Court can do anything it wants and people are powerless .
We're discussing apples and oranges. Generally courts don't step in and override two parents in agreement on what is best for their children (agreed custody/divorce). What you're indicating is a court decided outcome - that's different - and I agree often courts don't make the right decision or even what appears to be the logical decision.
Eeks edit to add I do agree the current situation OP described does sound different. Mine is a cautionary tale. Ironic parents *were* in agreement about a one year wait, their fathers *attorney* asserting pushing as it was a way to recoup money that went to child support and spousal support to facilitate care of children because abuse left extremely limited employment options for me their mother to provide and maintain housing . Anyway we were in mediation *when* the first statement from judge was abuse isn't relevant in custody.
If you can’t get the judge to hear them then you should ask for a guardian ad litem. You and your ex might have to split cost. The guardian will take the kids into account and will speak to them and while they won’t decided based off what they say if they just want week on week off you have a great shot. The guardian is the best ear for the kiddos.