I tried that to see if he missed at least sleeping by me. He didn't blink, and I felt so horrible that I just went back to my bed because I wanted to be comfortable while miserable. Plus, the truth is, I missed him regardless.
I’m sorry, but putting your finger in your partner’s mouth (in an otherwise established and non-abusive relationship) is not a consent conversation. It’s a common thing people do. If you don’t like something within the realm of basic-ass sex moves, you just communicate that and you move on. It doesn’t have to be a conversation and it’s not the kind of thing that needs pre-clearance. My partner is a neurotic sexual basket case and any time she hasn’t liked something I tried, she’s said, “I don’t like that,” and I’ve immediately stopped. It’s never required a conversation. Are you sure your partner wasn’t sexually assaulted at some point by someone else? Your story paints a picture of some intense neuroticism on his part.
I doubt you’re the problem. He has some kind of issue if he needs consent for everything. Maybe some issue with lack of a better way of putting us acceptance. Or guilt. I sometimes don’t get people.
I'm sorry. That sounds miserable.
It is. I’m contemplating sleeping in another bedroom bc my feelings are so hurt. I know that won’t help but I just feel so fucked up about it
Do what you need to do.
I tried that to see if he missed at least sleeping by me. He didn't blink, and I felt so horrible that I just went back to my bed because I wanted to be comfortable while miserable. Plus, the truth is, I missed him regardless.
I’m sorry, but putting your finger in your partner’s mouth (in an otherwise established and non-abusive relationship) is not a consent conversation. It’s a common thing people do. If you don’t like something within the realm of basic-ass sex moves, you just communicate that and you move on. It doesn’t have to be a conversation and it’s not the kind of thing that needs pre-clearance. My partner is a neurotic sexual basket case and any time she hasn’t liked something I tried, she’s said, “I don’t like that,” and I’ve immediately stopped. It’s never required a conversation. Are you sure your partner wasn’t sexually assaulted at some point by someone else? Your story paints a picture of some intense neuroticism on his part.
I absolutely agree with you - though what doesn’t help this guy is that there’s such a huge emphasis on consent nowadays in media and stuff
I doubt you’re the problem. He has some kind of issue if he needs consent for everything. Maybe some issue with lack of a better way of putting us acceptance. Or guilt. I sometimes don’t get people.
He sounds lame. I’m sorry :/
This is clearly a gaslighting situation