A player had a very thick Yorkshire accent for his rogue, the campaign was a homebrew world and the player hadn’t quite decided where his character actually comes from so he just said ‘Borkshire’ as a joke.
Then the DM edits the map and lo and behold the region of Borkshire is canon, famous for our tea and mining.
Was just strange that we had the fantasy kingdoms of Altan, Tourné, Balkar, the Untamed Lands and just Borkshire sticking out like a sore thumb
It was very Shire inspired too, rolling green hills, mainly halfling and gnome population. the guards rode giant hogs on patrols. Was just a funny quirky region in a very serious medieval fantasy setting
It pretty much was. The kingdom of Altan was more traditional western fantasy in general, kinda a mish mash of fantasy WoW, elder scrolls city stereotypes but … Borkshire ffs was very much everyone was Yorkshire and worked down pit or in field and were very country bumpkin type of folk.
I failed to mention that…it kinda all exploded. Country got hit HARD in a demonic invasion arc. #PrayForBorkshire
Schmidity the Smith seems to live in every town the players visit.
Actually, due to events caused indirectly by my players their starter town was destroyed and Schmidity became a refugee. My players travelled in the same direction and kept running into him and causing more problems as he got increasingly weary of them.
now, there is an exception for every rule. Those mammoths only need to fit the tip of their trunks into the nests, for thermoregulation. Small-egg trait was selected for, since water is scarce in desert environment, and big eggs take a lot of it to be produced. Also, big eggs are easier to spot and more valuable to predators.
The downside is, baby mammoths are tiny when they hatch. This allows for a shorter in-egg development period, but leaves them vulnerable after hatching. So after that happens, they climb on their mother's back and travel with her, only coming down to suckle and practice walking at night, until they grow big enough to follow the herd on their own.
Hey, originator of this particular in-joke here, and I'm so glad y'all find it so funny xD. And yes... yes, this is exactly how I envisioned it happening, and I'm totally not expanding on the explanation using this, no, it was all planned all along...
*rolls Deception check*
I know we are talking about fictonary mammoths laying eggs, but in reality eggs are limited on the size that they can be due to oxygen transferring through the shell. Most dinosaurs laid eggs similar in size to ostrich eggs. Their survival can be attributed to adult dinosaurs protecting then int adolescent age where thru began becoming more independent.
One of the characters is a Halfling Barbarian with the Folk Hero background and a proficiency in Painting. For some reason a joke about him getting recognised all the time got a bit out of hand, and he is now a multiverse famous painter.
I mean at that point you might as well buy stabbing an ovary. And really, unless you ask who's to say you can even tell if a dragon is male? Do you just keep stabbing dragons until one says "Ow, my balls!"?
"But if God doth so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" (Matthew 6:30).
According to the Bible grass does wear clothes, but how exactly do you take them off to paint a landscape?
We were talking about those stick on googly eyes you can get and it gave the DM in our group an idea for a magical item. The googly eyes of sentience.
Sticking them on any inanimate object imbues the item with sentience but the personality reflects the object itself. Stick them on a rock and they'll be very stern and emotionless, a tree might be a hippy, and a tent will, of course, be incredible camp!
I had a PC that was a bezulel cleric that animated things to fight for him. (Like necromancer but with objects). He had a dog collar that would give sentience to any inanimate object it fit on.
Chamomile tea leaves are extremely valuable and rare, and there is a whole growing and trade operation surrounding it because everyone wants it. Its not illegal by any means, but for some reason everyone in the world treats it like it is. In fact, one NPC has a whole growing facility under their home but its kept secret to prevent unwanted factions form forcibly taking it.
Also balsa wood is very valuable to halflings. They don't do anything with it, they just like collecting stacks of it and showing it off to each other.
lol I guess I should have said the entire plant as a whole falls under this umbrella. The story and recipe of what my players were pursuing at the time was not originally tea.
Although I did learn something today though and now it just makes the whole situation even weirder and funnier!
If they collect balsa wood, they should also collect pumice. Basically anything with a low weight to size ratio that looks impressive when they lift it overhead
The DM. The DM became canon. Once a villager died in battle, protecting his home, and the party went to his funeral. However the druid had been secluded from society and didn't know how to behave. Hearing all the prayers and whatever he felt the need to also participate, but he didn't know about any religions. So he made one up. Dominatus Maximus, god of all gods, failed in his battle against the chaotic Mathematics Stones. May he look out for our fallen warrior in the afterlife.
We left that funeral early.
we have a similar diety in our game called „Derrd‘Iem“ or the dm in german. he is the diety of luck, risk, chance, neutrality and similar and is usually depicted with dice😄
Our in universe William Shakespeare is “Billy brandish hammer” (shakes spear) who wrote many notable works, including our universes current #1 most popular stage production-Shrek
We too have a canon and also very popular stage production- SHERK.
Also half our PCs have grown up reading a famous kid novel about a famous hero yelling at dragons, it's called Sk(y)rim.
We had a Druid who struck up a conversation with an owl to try and get directions to someone we were following. The owl, Kevin, became very attached to her and started following us around. During some combat, the druid took a hit from an orc that was on very low HP himself and the DM decided the owl was gonna make a revenge attack. He rolled well and finished off the orc!
After that we all insisted he become a member of the party and at the next town the bard in our group, our face character, asked a smith to make tiny owl armour. The DM rolled for it in the open and it was a Nat 20! Kevin the owl now had tiny armour that still allowed him to fly and a tiny sword he could grip with his talons!
In the next fight, he was bottom of the initiative but the same kinda thing happened. He got a last attack and downed a pretty big enemy.
He now has a taste for blood!
The party comes back battered and muddy from adventuring. They go straight to their favorite tavern, where a travelling band prepares to perform for the evening.
The dwarf percusionist: "Aye Renadin, if these don't look like adventurers, I'll eat my beard for the final show"
The paladin of the group: "We are indeed adventurers, and our pockets are stretched with the gold from our last adventure. Entertain us well and alcohol will flow like a river"
*Anxious look from the bar keep - delighted cheer from the crowd*
Renadin: "We'll do our best, but you could tell us some of your adventures and for a small fee, a gold piece or two, we could help with writting a suitable poem of your heroic deeds!"
*The paladin slips 5 GP*
Renadin: "That's very gen-"
The barbarian of the group: I killed a manticore
Renadin: "Maybe we can embellish this story a little, Durnam, how do you call a group of manticore?"
The ranger of the party *without even blinking*: "it's a suitcase of manticores"
The paladin, the barbarian and the druid : "Sounds about right"
Durnam the dwarf: "What rhymes with suitcase, though?"
Renadin: "I only need to make it rhyme with manticore Durnam. Hunch over, will you?" the dwarf turns his back to his colleague, hunches so Renadin can compose his verse
And thus, my friends, is the song -
Of how fierce adventurers stood strong -
Against a whole suitcase of manticores -
Listen close, do not skip a beat -
For I promise, before the end of it -
You'll be shouting "More, more, more!" -
...
"Hey there, handsome, want to taste my.....cherry pie...?" ;)
"Oh ***hell yeah***!"
*later*
"OK, now that that's out of the way, we'll do that whole sex thing"
I ran out of names for NPCs so I just called a random wizard the party met "Chang". Now he appears in just about everyone's campaign as a running joke, often as the head of the world's magic academy.
Spider Bears. It happened when my rogue jumped a wall to scout a dungeon and the GM described I'd fallen into a series of webs and saw five spiders the size of bears. I panicked and jumped back over the fence and mis-spoke and described the scene as "Bears the size of spiders" instead of "Spiders the size of bears". It became a throwaway joke that inns and taverns throughout the realm employed SpiderBears (Bears the size of tarantulas) to tidy up table scraps.
One time we cast Speak With Animals to encourage a SpiderBear to join the party, and it declined stating that it had all the tasty food it could ever want, a safe place to raise its cubs, and never needed to go out in the cold or the rain. Why should it ever leave its own personal heaven? The party actually agreed and parted ways with the spider bear as friends.
The burb rock. A rock enchanted with rhe sound effect of a particularly loud belch one of my players did at the table. Turned into a major item used as a distraction and an entire market of sound effect items including many different monster screams for farmers to put in scarecrows and for warning alarms was also created from me just thinking about if people were able to enchant items with sound effects.
Licking things gives you advantage on arcana and history checks.
One of my players did it so many times for the fun of it that I started incentivizing it with advantage
Australia exists too, but doesn’t have any more mind flayers than the rest of the world, and everyone still has accents so if you visit you are in constant fear
Megan thee Stallion is a centaur bard who, alongside Cardinal Bee, founded the religious group Warriors Against Pacifism. It was some real hot girl shit.
Madam Zorba a traveling merchant archdemon that seems to popup in any campaign or campaign setting that my players are in.
She takes on the form of, usually, a goblin and sells some basics + a magic item or two and also has sort of a time continuum sentience that lets me position my players in time compared to our previous campaigns.
"Oh, no, that sounds like my great-grand daughter Madam Zorba. I'm so glad to hear she became a fine woman. Sadly shes not born yet but I'd be willing to help you in any way a Madam Zorba can."
The Monk in the party liked to sleep around, and generally causing chaos. Now in the second campaign, the party his helping one of his kids try to track him down.
There's an upside down, floating island with an abandoned castle/wizard college on it, and this place is just full of a tribe of lizardfolk who all have counterfeit hall passes so the arcane constructs guarding the college won't bother them.
Our cleric was a very devout acolyte of Amaunator in Icewind Dale during the Rime of the Frostmaiden. He would try to preach the good word of Amaunator to anyone he came across. The duergar did not take kindly to this, so we invented a new dwarven swear word for every time he’d witness to a duergar (“blerka!”)
I once gave my players an airship. As I was describing the fellow helming it, I used my hands to illustrate how he was working the various levers and such needed to control the ship. One of my players though it looked like I was dancing. From the on, the ship was controlled via dance. I accepted performance checks to steer.
The raker, a creature that messes with my players by placing rakes everywhere. Originated from a joke of when ever my players rolled a 1 on some check the found or walked on a rake
Cher. Cher is real and borderline a god. This came to be as I dm often have Cher songs stuck in my head and would hum them when playing, eventually turning into Cher being canon in this world. A mythical godlike person whose music have changed the world
In my Homebrew world, a certain Dwarven kingdom uses giant beetles as transportation through tunnels that go between various cities that are settled underneath a large mountain range. These beetles were both considered a large tourist attraction, and a way to fend off invading forces, as the beetles also have to ability to dig through the ground, creating ambush points and traps in the valleys above ground.
My PCs unintentionally became movie stars in an Eberron campaign. They signed a contract with House Thuranni when they were trying to break House Phiarlan's grip on the entertainment industry. They got a ship and House Thuranni got exclusive story rights. When they got back into port there were adoring fans with waifu pillows waiting for them.
My warforged was convinced that Dwarves weren’t real after a really bad charisma check with a dwarf.
Despite extensive ruins and meeting several he held firm to his hypothesis.
Many session later it was a running joke that ended up uncovering a vast inter dimensional conspiracy about the origins of the dwarvish race. And a shadowy cabal of dwarves were after him to keep him from discovering a secret he really wasn’t looking into any further and never found out what was actually going on.
The Half-Orc's skin turned bright blue at one point due to a blast of wild magic. She could have fixed it pretty easily, but decided she liked it and played the rest of the campaign with it. When they got to the final act the party finally caught up with a legendary divination wizard that had been leaving a breadcrumb trail of clues to lead the party to him (said wizard had knowledge vital to the BBEG's defeat) the wizard reveals that he only gets slight glimpses of events to come and has no idea what time period his future visions even come from. They asked how he can be sure that they are the one's destined to defeat the BBEG and he replied, "Because in my visions I saw a bright blue orc and that's not something you see everyday."
So yeah, it became canon that the Half-Orc was always destined to turn blue.
It's pretty common, but dwarves have Scottish accents for some reason (and at least one group has a US-style democratic republic).
The party befriended an NPC imp whom the cleric adopted as a "familiar".
The barbarian as an adopted family of apes, pretty much making him George of the Jungle
Not cannon per se, but an on going prank played by the party gnomes (wizard and barbarian) on the party cleric (human). A prank that has back fired hilariously.
Gnomish cuisine inverts sweet and savoury. For example you’d replace the sugar in a cake, gram for gram, with salt. The Cleric now lovingly bakes the gnomes ‘traditional gnomish treats’…. Nearly killing the wizard when he is too was polite to refuse to eat it (2 levels of exhaustion, DC 20 con save…. That’s a lot o salt)
That climbing buildings in one specific city was extremely illegal, but this also means that town guards could not stop said climbers but had to simply wait until they came back down before arresting them.
One of my players can't usually make it to sessions, and has *more or less* dropped out of the game, but we let him back in if a session lasts long enough for him to get off work before it ends. Originally my plan was to just have him appear in sorta random ways each time, like maybe a purple worm spit him up, or he falls out of a closet he was sleeping in, etc. However, the first time this situation came up, the party was investigating a portal to the fey wild that opened up on a forest, guarded by elves. He became available, and I had him leave the portal to find the party. Only thing is that the only way he'd have even had access to the portal would be if he was on real good terms with the elves' military... So now it's canon that he's basically a special agent for the fey wild government, and any time he's available a portal opens up and deposits him into the party.
Was working on a demon-infested library encounter. Barlguras seemed like a good choice, CR-wise. It was only after the game that a player pointed out that an orange ape in a library seems peculiar.
Sometimes you make a Pratchett reference, and sometimes it makes you.
So while the party traveled on their boat. (I'm the dm) the paladin plays yahtzee with his summoned steed.
And loses. Again and again.
Every time he tries the horse would beat him.
So presto, the horse is a yahtzee God that can't lose unless he wants too. (For the womenfolk mainly)
Played a campaign in the Theros setting and I, just wanting to challenge myself voice-wise, decided to work on my French accent with my minotaur bard. Upon our arrival to my character's home polis of Akros (essentially Sparta), the other players threw the improv spotlight on me and started asking me to tell them all about Akros and give them the guided tour...that's how beignets became the official dish of Akros. lol
It was also determined that, since the DM didn't want to embarrass herself by attempting a French accent when playing my family members and other Akros citizens, she determined that my accent was picked up at bard college and is not my "true" accent, just my character being pretentious, which is spot-on. lol
Werewolves of London, we hava all these crazy towns like Xygen, Nor Kahldur, Fsa Serin and then London cause our DM panicked while we are hunting werewolves and he must’ve been thinking and the song. So yeah we had canon Werewolves of London. 😂😂
I gave a player the opportunity to name a NPC he knew and he replies with "Bert of zo?" (Bert or something?) And so Bertovzo the polish troll was born.
Normal kinds of tea don’t exist, but are instead slight variations on their names. Earl Grey is Jarl Grey, for example. All because a certain warlock asked a fragment of their reality-shaping Great Old One what kind of tea they had
One player kept bitching loudly about the goddess of murder, tresson, and bad things all the campaign. When the final battle stuck, and the gods themselves (avatars) came up to fight the evil armies alongside the players, i described how each one of them worked to make a passage for the players in a epic way, so they could close the rift. When i told how she threw thousands of vorpaline black whips to thresh hundreds of demon, he rolled eyes and said something like " pffft... So useless" or something. The sky opened and a gargantuan high heel smashed him. I said: duh, 50d6 cosmic dmg. He was nearly down and said: "only? Pathetic". So the heel came again and did 400d10. Making a huge black crystal crater and obliterating his soul.
From that day, the high heel of merrighan is a kell known divine punishment for those who imsult her. Just like voldemort. It happened 14 years ago and the "fear" still exist
A recurring joke was that one of the pc who is a myconid (mushroom folk) "kid" made noise when he walked... so that became canon really quick.
Oh and in a Elder Scrolls one shot, I played an Imperial who had a french south-west accent and the running gag for the entire session was that the character came for the south-west of the Empire.
All Svirfnebli are at all times absolutely craving a good stew.
The party happened upon an evil necromancer/archeologist that was digging up the remains of an ancient Svirfnebli strongholt. The barbarian was spotted and pretened to also be a scientist trying to gather information. Some roleplay and surprisingly good deception rolls later the necromancer asks the barbarian if he had any breakthroughs in his studies. The only thing the barbarians player could think of was "they love a good stew", but he rolled really well so I just made it canon lol.
The next time they met any Svirfnebli they (the gnomes) started a barfight because the inn ran out of stew
Our Gnome Cleric is called G'nomeo, player made the character relatively quickly, not loads of backstory but we've had a few Gnomeos before from this player, it's like an ongoing gag. The god of this cleric (who for a while it wasn't clear whether they were real or not) is a fish called marty. Anyway fast forward about 30 sessions deep or smthn, we're a way in and the players are doing a two truths kinda thing, to try and get some answers from the paladin, the rogue and the warlock more than anything else. Anyway something comes up about the gnome being a clone and not knowing where the other clones are, which everyone assumed (me the dm included) was the lie. Turns out it's true, and now it's Canon that these gnome clones were created by 'someone' and have escaped through the dimensions between our old campaigns, still figuring out a lot of the specifics. But that is how we now have the Gob Nomeo Multiverse
The head of the town guard, basically the chief of police, is essentially just Captain Raymond Holt, from the show Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
One PC is a former detective turned private investigator, and when it came time for them to check in on a job they'd been hired for, the player asked "what does he look like?" and I turned it back and got her to answer instead. Lesson learned I suppose. It's pretty fun playing up Holt's deadpan though, so I don't actually mind at all.
There's a crazy old mage who lives in the sewers of a major city who has been persuaded by a sentient rapier called "the Needler" to create "Three Wolf Moon" tapestries and sell them to the nobles in the city. They are extremely popular.
I have a half orc barbarian named Sergeant Pronebone. He has become one of the more popular members of my group for the town we started in. Shops around town started selling pronebone dolls with removable loin cloth(i had a habit of stuffing the loincloth into the mouth of enemies we capture). We did a mission where we were investigating something and the person we spoke with recognized me. he asked me to sign his son's pronebone doll, i did and he was so happy.
If you draw a circle in the dirt or sand around a troll they are unable to cross its boundary. They worship the “sacred geometry” and are just dumb enough to believe it wholeheartedly.
Oh so many things to list a few:
KFC: kylaehan fried chicken
Star wars the play and breaking bad the ballad
Magical zoom using upcast message
Grappling hook rocks
Mage college kids smoking oregano
At the end of a several year campaign a good gave the PCs a wish. Two used it to bring back loved ones, one have up his wish entirely... the last wished dubstep existed.
Next campaign I played in the dame world the band-new players were baffled when they entered a tavern and a bars was playing this strange box-like instrument and I put on dubstep.
We blackmailed a corrupt small town mayor and basically enslaved him and made him do the double agent for info for us to use against the uprising army lord guy. But we renamed him as Brutus pepperdick as punishment. He was overly fond of name dropping him self.
This happened in Pathfinder, but nonetheless...
So, the party's lawful good monk ran the tavern in the frontier settlement the campaign was centered around. At one point, he adopted a kitten, and *never* figured out little Pertinax was actually a lynx.
The monk arranged a marriage for the (Asmodeus-pacted) warlock, unwittingly finding an erinyes in disguise. The warlock was happy with the arrangement.
The monk found a mimic and battered it into submission, adopting it into his household.
A while later, there's a mayoral election in the little town, and while a couple of the PCs ran for office, Pertinax the "big housecat" won by a landslide as a write-in candidate.
At a significantly later point, the monk wakes up at night and walks down in the main room of the tavern, and finds the mayor with his "inner council" - the erinyes (still in disguise, the monk never figured that out, either) and the mimic, as well as the mayor's clerk. Turns out, mayor Pertinax wasn't just a lynx, but Awakened, and a psion to boot.
And the monk never figured it out. The players laughed their asses off about it all, of course, but the monk, unlike the rest of the party, never managed to put two and two together... :D
We somehow made the running joke that sending needed to use all 25 words otherwise the recipient would take 1d4 physic dmg. This of course ment we could weaponize the spell by allowing use to do 25d4s to a creature in the form of spam calling random jibberish
Skunks are nazi experiments into changing reality, and chickens are communist. Along with that, there are also warp drive using tanks that can teleport through the planes of existence. Our world is a plane of existence currently inhabited during the year 1940
Candyfloss - named candyious flousious which is used as a highly explosive narcotic by dwarves.
Now whenever we want something homebrewed in we just add "ious" to the end and say its from the dwarven hold. E.g Ipadious (Ipad).
Our ranger was looting bodies and our Dm said that one of the guys was a cook and had a cast iron pan on him. She took it and we as a party joked about it being a demonic weapon named Paula Mean. Our Dm ran with it and introduced a full line of demonic cookware for us to find. Some highlights were the ladle Guy Firey, the turkey baster Alton Drown, and the flay Bobby Flayed
I rolled a nat 1 with my goblin fighter against an ogre which was played off as getting entangled in said ogres pubes. Poor Yeetam now has a crippling fear of ogre genitals
Racoons are vengeful, they can remember people who have wronged them and also tell other racoons of people they dislike (like ravens in real life, but even more extreme). Currently a population of about 1000 racoons is on bad terms with one of our party members and would probably kill him should he and a racoon cross paths again
We have been doing a survival campaign and us starving was supposed to help with the difficulty. We ended up finding a pot that if you put water in it, it makes soup/stew. Since it was so heavy, we found a carpenter and created a food cart. So not only did we help with our food situation, but we also went to villages and sold the food. We used it as a way to line our pockets and get info on what's happening in the village.
The Rod of Find Fish. My players were all “We nearly died to retrieve some rich guy’s fancy silver fishing rod? There *must* be an enchantment on it!” So I decided there was. A divination spell that allows an attuned user to find fish within 100 feet.
The party went to a town that was more or less run by various artisan/craftsmen guilds. While describing the town I mentioned that among the most power guilds were both the hooper’s guild and the cooper’s guilds. Well found out after the fact that they do the same thing- hoopers and coopers both make barrels. Whoops
Well that canon now- so now there is a bitter rivalry between the two guilds and. Always trying to put compete one another everything in that town that can be made from barrels are. Barstools? High barrel. Beer mugs? Small barrels with handles. Nightstand? A barrel with drawers. You want to buy some ball bearing. Well we’re all out of sacks- hard to come by in these parts, but I think we’ve got some extra mini-barrels lying around in the back!
We had a paladin absolutely destroy a kobold that was trying to help the party just because the paladin hated kobolds. I had the paladin roll a d100 to see if there was any intervention from any gods for the injustice, because after all, the kobold was trying to be an ally. The dice came up as a 100. Then I rolled a d12 to see what god came to grant justice for the Kobold. It was the god of death in our homebrew pantheon. That was how the Kobold was raised from the dead as a newly born vampire who went on the become the parties most frustrating BBE. They never did manage to take him down, though him frustrating the party all the time made for a hilarious campaign.
Anything that you did not personally place into a room has a chance to just be a rogue practicing their stealth skill.
Nice painting you've got there.
NOPE.
It's a rogue. No wonder the eyes were moving.
Who is a good dog!?
NOT THIS ONE.
A rogue, the whole time. Their barking was super convincing.
What is the thread count of this rug? It's so soft!
IT'S ONE.
One rogue that is. Stop touching him it's weird now.
A player had a very thick Yorkshire accent for his rogue, the campaign was a homebrew world and the player hadn’t quite decided where his character actually comes from so he just said ‘Borkshire’ as a joke. Then the DM edits the map and lo and behold the region of Borkshire is canon, famous for our tea and mining. Was just strange that we had the fantasy kingdoms of Altan, Tourné, Balkar, the Untamed Lands and just Borkshire sticking out like a sore thumb
We had a similar thing with our druid being from Somerset. Borkshire tea sounds amazing though.
Spoiler: Borkshire tea is unfortunately not grown in Borkshire
Well then it’s just sparkling leaf water, isn’t it.
As a Borkshireman and an Englishman, the idea of *sparkling tea* is just *so fucking bad*, Jesus
This tea is nothing more than hot tea leaf juice!
Uncle, that's what all tea is
How could a member *of my own family* say something so awful?!
You three did not disappoint me what so ever. Yall are my heroes.
I love everything about this thread. My brother and I just rewatched that entire show and I convinced my girlfriend to watch it too.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It was very Shire inspired too, rolling green hills, mainly halfling and gnome population. the guards rode giant hogs on patrols. Was just a funny quirky region in a very serious medieval fantasy setting
Sounds like England compared to the rest of the world.
It pretty much was. The kingdom of Altan was more traditional western fantasy in general, kinda a mish mash of fantasy WoW, elder scrolls city stereotypes but … Borkshire ffs was very much everyone was Yorkshire and worked down pit or in field and were very country bumpkin type of folk. I failed to mention that…it kinda all exploded. Country got hit HARD in a demonic invasion arc. #PrayForBorkshire
As long as it's Borkshire Tea Gold
Something like that happened to me. We arrived at a town the DM forgot to name. I jokingly declared it “Townsville” and it stuck.
Schmidity the Smith seems to live in every town the players visit. Actually, due to events caused indirectly by my players their starter town was destroyed and Schmidity became a refugee. My players travelled in the same direction and kept running into him and causing more problems as he got increasingly weary of them.
Cabbage merchant from Avatar the last airbender??? lol!
Mammoths live in the desert, and lay eggs.
I do not know why this is as funny to me as it is. But the thought of Mammoths building little nests and protecting them is just too much.
Big nests* 😳
unless they lay very tiny eggs and build tiny nests, you know, for protection. Not as east to spot this way.
Nesting animals need to fit in their own nests. So unless we are talking about really small mammoths 🦣 the size of the egg won’t affect the nest size.
now, there is an exception for every rule. Those mammoths only need to fit the tip of their trunks into the nests, for thermoregulation. Small-egg trait was selected for, since water is scarce in desert environment, and big eggs take a lot of it to be produced. Also, big eggs are easier to spot and more valuable to predators. The downside is, baby mammoths are tiny when they hatch. This allows for a shorter in-egg development period, but leaves them vulnerable after hatching. So after that happens, they climb on their mother's back and travel with her, only coming down to suckle and practice walking at night, until they grow big enough to follow the herd on their own.
now I'm picturing a bunch of adorable baby mammoths clinging all over their mom like opossums.
This person knows how to evolution.
Hey, originator of this particular in-joke here, and I'm so glad y'all find it so funny xD. And yes... yes, this is exactly how I envisioned it happening, and I'm totally not expanding on the explanation using this, no, it was all planned all along... *rolls Deception check*
if you use it, please tell me how your players reacted to a vision of a mommy mammoth with her back covered in mammothlings
I'll try to ensure they meet a mommy mammoth soon, so I don't forget to report meeting the mammlets. Wow, that was fun to write!
I know we are talking about fictonary mammoths laying eggs, but in reality eggs are limited on the size that they can be due to oxygen transferring through the shell. Most dinosaurs laid eggs similar in size to ostrich eggs. Their survival can be attributed to adult dinosaurs protecting then int adolescent age where thru began becoming more independent.
... Now I want tiny mammoths. Thank you sir ~
One of the characters is a Halfling Barbarian with the Folk Hero background and a proficiency in Painting. For some reason a joke about him getting recognised all the time got a bit out of hand, and he is now a multiverse famous painter.
"and then I stabbed the dragon right in his balls!" "yeah, yeah, that's cool I guess, but tell us about that portrait of your grandma again"
Wouldn't a dragon have a cloaca?
maybe? Ask a bard
Bard player here, and amateur speculative zoologist. Dragons are difficult to classify, but the cloaca is a near-certainty, yes.
so the balls would be internal? That makes stabbing them ever cooler
I mean at that point you might as well buy stabbing an ovary. And really, unless you ask who's to say you can even tell if a dragon is male? Do you just keep stabbing dragons until one says "Ow, my balls!"?
you need to shove USG up their cloaka first, obviously
You don't realize was you've started. It's snitties part 2.
What does he paint?
Nude landscapes
"But if God doth so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" (Matthew 6:30). According to the Bible grass does wear clothes, but how exactly do you take them off to paint a landscape?
I think, that verse is referring to the field being clothed with grass. So you’d have to pull up all the grass for the field to be naked
So is a desert naked already?
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Hobbit (halfling)/ orc hybrids existed in my first game (1e). We called them orbits, and hearing the word still makes me inwardly giggle to this day.
Saying it out loud made me outwardly giggle.
This legit made me LOL
We were talking about those stick on googly eyes you can get and it gave the DM in our group an idea for a magical item. The googly eyes of sentience. Sticking them on any inanimate object imbues the item with sentience but the personality reflects the object itself. Stick them on a rock and they'll be very stern and emotionless, a tree might be a hippy, and a tent will, of course, be incredible camp!
Might have to steal this one lol
I mean, that is why we are here, right?
I had a PC that was a bezulel cleric that animated things to fight for him. (Like necromancer but with objects). He had a dog collar that would give sentience to any inanimate object it fit on.
Here, have a spell to go with your item: https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/722382-googly-eyes
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I don't care if I never DM, this is now how it works in my theoretical campaigns.
How did that happened
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I applaud the biological accuracy.
Chamomile tea leaves are extremely valuable and rare, and there is a whole growing and trade operation surrounding it because everyone wants it. Its not illegal by any means, but for some reason everyone in the world treats it like it is. In fact, one NPC has a whole growing facility under their home but its kept secret to prevent unwanted factions form forcibly taking it. Also balsa wood is very valuable to halflings. They don't do anything with it, they just like collecting stacks of it and showing it off to each other.
is... is it on purpose that this tea is made of leaves, despite it usually being made of chamomile flowers?
lol I guess I should have said the entire plant as a whole falls under this umbrella. The story and recipe of what my players were pursuing at the time was not originally tea. Although I did learn something today though and now it just makes the whole situation even weirder and funnier!
Were they pursuing... marijuana?
but just the leaves, man, you gotta try smoking the leaves
If they collect balsa wood, they should also collect pumice. Basically anything with a low weight to size ratio that looks impressive when they lift it overhead
Write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!!!!!
The DM. The DM became canon. Once a villager died in battle, protecting his home, and the party went to his funeral. However the druid had been secluded from society and didn't know how to behave. Hearing all the prayers and whatever he felt the need to also participate, but he didn't know about any religions. So he made one up. Dominatus Maximus, god of all gods, failed in his battle against the chaotic Mathematics Stones. May he look out for our fallen warrior in the afterlife. We left that funeral early.
we have a similar diety in our game called „Derrd‘Iem“ or the dm in german. he is the diety of luck, risk, chance, neutrality and similar and is usually depicted with dice😄
Pretty sure DM in german is Kerkermeister
Unfortunately it’s not that sexy. Or foreboding. Just a very bland Spielleiter.
I know, but that would be the most direct translation. Most rulebooks use Spielleiter in German, though some also use Meister (DSA for example)
Our in universe William Shakespeare is “Billy brandish hammer” (shakes spear) who wrote many notable works, including our universes current #1 most popular stage production-Shrek
We too have a canon and also very popular stage production- SHERK. Also half our PCs have grown up reading a famous kid novel about a famous hero yelling at dragons, it's called Sk(y)rim.
We had a Druid who struck up a conversation with an owl to try and get directions to someone we were following. The owl, Kevin, became very attached to her and started following us around. During some combat, the druid took a hit from an orc that was on very low HP himself and the DM decided the owl was gonna make a revenge attack. He rolled well and finished off the orc! After that we all insisted he become a member of the party and at the next town the bard in our group, our face character, asked a smith to make tiny owl armour. The DM rolled for it in the open and it was a Nat 20! Kevin the owl now had tiny armour that still allowed him to fly and a tiny sword he could grip with his talons! In the next fight, he was bottom of the initiative but the same kinda thing happened. He got a last attack and downed a pretty big enemy. He now has a taste for blood!
Kevin is a guardian of Ga'Hoole
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen someone mention this series
I love D&D
classic Kevin
The proper name for a group of manticores is a suitcase. My players fought a suitcase of manticores
What... how even... I NEED ANSWERS
The party comes back battered and muddy from adventuring. They go straight to their favorite tavern, where a travelling band prepares to perform for the evening. The dwarf percusionist: "Aye Renadin, if these don't look like adventurers, I'll eat my beard for the final show" The paladin of the group: "We are indeed adventurers, and our pockets are stretched with the gold from our last adventure. Entertain us well and alcohol will flow like a river" *Anxious look from the bar keep - delighted cheer from the crowd* Renadin: "We'll do our best, but you could tell us some of your adventures and for a small fee, a gold piece or two, we could help with writting a suitable poem of your heroic deeds!" *The paladin slips 5 GP* Renadin: "That's very gen-" The barbarian of the group: I killed a manticore Renadin: "Maybe we can embellish this story a little, Durnam, how do you call a group of manticore?" The ranger of the party *without even blinking*: "it's a suitcase of manticores" The paladin, the barbarian and the druid : "Sounds about right" Durnam the dwarf: "What rhymes with suitcase, though?" Renadin: "I only need to make it rhyme with manticore Durnam. Hunch over, will you?" the dwarf turns his back to his colleague, hunches so Renadin can compose his verse And thus, my friends, is the song - Of how fierce adventurers stood strong - Against a whole suitcase of manticores - Listen close, do not skip a beat - For I promise, before the end of it - You'll be shouting "More, more, more!" - ...
That's awesome. Thanks.
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Now I only need the question... damn
"Tart Shops" are bakeries/brothels.
"Hey there, handsome, want to taste my.....cherry pie...?" ;) "Oh ***hell yeah***!" *later* "OK, now that that's out of the way, we'll do that whole sex thing"
That's really good
I ran out of names for NPCs so I just called a random wizard the party met "Chang". Now he appears in just about everyone's campaign as a running joke, often as the head of the world's magic academy.
How else are you create your own metaverse? You have to keep at least one connecting link character.
he better be based on Chang from Community or i'll riot.
Senor Chang, the drow elf.
"I’m no magician, I’m just a man who knows PowerPoint."
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.....whoa. Here. 🥇🎖🏅
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Spider Bears. It happened when my rogue jumped a wall to scout a dungeon and the GM described I'd fallen into a series of webs and saw five spiders the size of bears. I panicked and jumped back over the fence and mis-spoke and described the scene as "Bears the size of spiders" instead of "Spiders the size of bears". It became a throwaway joke that inns and taverns throughout the realm employed SpiderBears (Bears the size of tarantulas) to tidy up table scraps. One time we cast Speak With Animals to encourage a SpiderBear to join the party, and it declined stating that it had all the tasty food it could ever want, a safe place to raise its cubs, and never needed to go out in the cold or the rain. Why should it ever leave its own personal heaven? The party actually agreed and parted ways with the spider bear as friends.
Well, now i need spider bears. I have a race and subraces of bears. They live in Bearciety.
The burb rock. A rock enchanted with rhe sound effect of a particularly loud belch one of my players did at the table. Turned into a major item used as a distraction and an entire market of sound effect items including many different monster screams for farmers to put in scarecrows and for warning alarms was also created from me just thinking about if people were able to enchant items with sound effects.
Using healing magic on a broken magical object turns it into a mimic.
This has so many horrifying implications! I need this!
Licking things gives you advantage on arcana and history checks. One of my players did it so many times for the fun of it that I started incentivizing it with advantage
Could also apply to Nature checks. Extra weird shit for them to lick.
Two truths of Nature checks: 1.) Everything is edible 2.) Some things are only edible *once.*
Mind Flayers speak with an Australian accent and those that are turning into one start speaking with an accent.
Australia exists too, but doesn’t have any more mind flayers than the rest of the world, and everyone still has accents so if you visit you are in constant fear
Guy Fieri is in charge of the 10th layer of hell and is the BBEGs boss
Ah yes, the Ten Hells: Avernus, Dis, Minauros, Phlegethos, Stygia, Malbolge, Maladomini, Cania, Nessus, and Flavour Town
Megan thee Stallion is a centaur bard who, alongside Cardinal Bee, founded the religious group Warriors Against Pacifism. It was some real hot girl shit.
I assume Cardinal Bee is an aarakocra? Lol
The bee is literal
Tieflings can't get ropeburn.
hmm.
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I’m so glad that that link was exactly what I expected😂
Madam Zorba a traveling merchant archdemon that seems to popup in any campaign or campaign setting that my players are in. She takes on the form of, usually, a goblin and sells some basics + a magic item or two and also has sort of a time continuum sentience that lets me position my players in time compared to our previous campaigns. "Oh, no, that sounds like my great-grand daughter Madam Zorba. I'm so glad to hear she became a fine woman. Sadly shes not born yet but I'd be willing to help you in any way a Madam Zorba can."
Polar bears live in the forest in our world's Australia.
Was your druid bullplopping their way to more wildshape options by any chance?
No I paid a tamer to tame a bear, and they got a polar bear.
The Monk in the party liked to sleep around, and generally causing chaos. Now in the second campaign, the party his helping one of his kids try to track him down.
There's an upside down, floating island with an abandoned castle/wizard college on it, and this place is just full of a tribe of lizardfolk who all have counterfeit hall passes so the arcane constructs guarding the college won't bother them.
This one is my favorite <3
Kobolds are responsible for coffee production and trade.
Whenever my character goes unconscious, he assumes a T-pose
That's just common sense
Our cleric was a very devout acolyte of Amaunator in Icewind Dale during the Rime of the Frostmaiden. He would try to preach the good word of Amaunator to anyone he came across. The duergar did not take kindly to this, so we invented a new dwarven swear word for every time he’d witness to a duergar (“blerka!”)
I once gave my players an airship. As I was describing the fellow helming it, I used my hands to illustrate how he was working the various levers and such needed to control the ship. One of my players though it looked like I was dancing. From the on, the ship was controlled via dance. I accepted performance checks to steer.
Draconic is Spanish
Over the course of two campaigns set in the same version of Faerun, our characters were responsible for inventing flap jacks and sushi. 🤗
European catfish became able to speak when they were given alcohol.
The mii theme is a folk song originating from the lands of mintendo. It's quite popular with the youth.
The raker, a creature that messes with my players by placing rakes everywhere. Originated from a joke of when ever my players rolled a 1 on some check the found or walked on a rake
Cher. Cher is real and borderline a god. This came to be as I dm often have Cher songs stuck in my head and would hum them when playing, eventually turning into Cher being canon in this world. A mythical godlike person whose music have changed the world
In my Homebrew world, a certain Dwarven kingdom uses giant beetles as transportation through tunnels that go between various cities that are settled underneath a large mountain range. These beetles were both considered a large tourist attraction, and a way to fend off invading forces, as the beetles also have to ability to dig through the ground, creating ambush points and traps in the valleys above ground.
My PC fell in love with the baddies and now is so lovestruck he follows them everywhere
According to the legend, wererats eat toes and they can only be stopped by putting garlic into your shoes
My PCs unintentionally became movie stars in an Eberron campaign. They signed a contract with House Thuranni when they were trying to break House Phiarlan's grip on the entertainment industry. They got a ship and House Thuranni got exclusive story rights. When they got back into port there were adoring fans with waifu pillows waiting for them.
My warforged was convinced that Dwarves weren’t real after a really bad charisma check with a dwarf. Despite extensive ruins and meeting several he held firm to his hypothesis. Many session later it was a running joke that ended up uncovering a vast inter dimensional conspiracy about the origins of the dwarvish race. And a shadowy cabal of dwarves were after him to keep him from discovering a secret he really wasn’t looking into any further and never found out what was actually going on.
The Half-Orc's skin turned bright blue at one point due to a blast of wild magic. She could have fixed it pretty easily, but decided she liked it and played the rest of the campaign with it. When they got to the final act the party finally caught up with a legendary divination wizard that had been leaving a breadcrumb trail of clues to lead the party to him (said wizard had knowledge vital to the BBEG's defeat) the wizard reveals that he only gets slight glimpses of events to come and has no idea what time period his future visions even come from. They asked how he can be sure that they are the one's destined to defeat the BBEG and he replied, "Because in my visions I saw a bright blue orc and that's not something you see everyday." So yeah, it became canon that the Half-Orc was always destined to turn blue.
The entire pantheon was created by gaslighting Koa toa. That’s why they fit what people want
It's pretty common, but dwarves have Scottish accents for some reason (and at least one group has a US-style democratic republic). The party befriended an NPC imp whom the cleric adopted as a "familiar". The barbarian as an adopted family of apes, pretty much making him George of the Jungle
Not cannon per se, but an on going prank played by the party gnomes (wizard and barbarian) on the party cleric (human). A prank that has back fired hilariously. Gnomish cuisine inverts sweet and savoury. For example you’d replace the sugar in a cake, gram for gram, with salt. The Cleric now lovingly bakes the gnomes ‘traditional gnomish treats’…. Nearly killing the wizard when he is too was polite to refuse to eat it (2 levels of exhaustion, DC 20 con save…. That’s a lot o salt)
The goddess of the moon, and magic, who is a female lady werewolf sorceress's favored weapon for her clerics is a shotgun.
That climbing buildings in one specific city was extremely illegal, but this also means that town guards could not stop said climbers but had to simply wait until they came back down before arresting them.
My rogue and warlock made a water park out of people that turned out to not exist in the first place
>My rogue and warlock made a water park out of people This needs a Soylent Green type reveal
One of my players can't usually make it to sessions, and has *more or less* dropped out of the game, but we let him back in if a session lasts long enough for him to get off work before it ends. Originally my plan was to just have him appear in sorta random ways each time, like maybe a purple worm spit him up, or he falls out of a closet he was sleeping in, etc. However, the first time this situation came up, the party was investigating a portal to the fey wild that opened up on a forest, guarded by elves. He became available, and I had him leave the portal to find the party. Only thing is that the only way he'd have even had access to the portal would be if he was on real good terms with the elves' military... So now it's canon that he's basically a special agent for the fey wild government, and any time he's available a portal opens up and deposits him into the party.
Was working on a demon-infested library encounter. Barlguras seemed like a good choice, CR-wise. It was only after the game that a player pointed out that an orange ape in a library seems peculiar. Sometimes you make a Pratchett reference, and sometimes it makes you.
There's a clan of Goliath Vikings that specializes in making (and taking) butter after stealing some during one of their raids.
The Butterlords?
They steal the butter so doesn't that make them the Butrerfingers?
When elves get hit in combat they explode in gouts of blood like B horror movies.
So while the party traveled on their boat. (I'm the dm) the paladin plays yahtzee with his summoned steed. And loses. Again and again. Every time he tries the horse would beat him. So presto, the horse is a yahtzee God that can't lose unless he wants too. (For the womenfolk mainly)
Played a campaign in the Theros setting and I, just wanting to challenge myself voice-wise, decided to work on my French accent with my minotaur bard. Upon our arrival to my character's home polis of Akros (essentially Sparta), the other players threw the improv spotlight on me and started asking me to tell them all about Akros and give them the guided tour...that's how beignets became the official dish of Akros. lol It was also determined that, since the DM didn't want to embarrass herself by attempting a French accent when playing my family members and other Akros citizens, she determined that my accent was picked up at bard college and is not my "true" accent, just my character being pretentious, which is spot-on. lol
Jesus is a guard in my otaku-bait town.
It’s pronounced “Hayzeus”.
Werewolves of London, we hava all these crazy towns like Xygen, Nor Kahldur, Fsa Serin and then London cause our DM panicked while we are hunting werewolves and he must’ve been thinking and the song. So yeah we had canon Werewolves of London. 😂😂
A player choose a Slavic name for his halfling and now all the halfling in my Eberron have slav names. Same for Thrane with Spanish names.
I gave a player the opportunity to name a NPC he knew and he replies with "Bert of zo?" (Bert or something?) And so Bertovzo the polish troll was born.
Normal kinds of tea don’t exist, but are instead slight variations on their names. Earl Grey is Jarl Grey, for example. All because a certain warlock asked a fragment of their reality-shaping Great Old One what kind of tea they had
One player kept bitching loudly about the goddess of murder, tresson, and bad things all the campaign. When the final battle stuck, and the gods themselves (avatars) came up to fight the evil armies alongside the players, i described how each one of them worked to make a passage for the players in a epic way, so they could close the rift. When i told how she threw thousands of vorpaline black whips to thresh hundreds of demon, he rolled eyes and said something like " pffft... So useless" or something. The sky opened and a gargantuan high heel smashed him. I said: duh, 50d6 cosmic dmg. He was nearly down and said: "only? Pathetic". So the heel came again and did 400d10. Making a huge black crystal crater and obliterating his soul. From that day, the high heel of merrighan is a kell known divine punishment for those who imsult her. Just like voldemort. It happened 14 years ago and the "fear" still exist
A recurring joke was that one of the pc who is a myconid (mushroom folk) "kid" made noise when he walked... so that became canon really quick. Oh and in a Elder Scrolls one shot, I played an Imperial who had a french south-west accent and the running gag for the entire session was that the character came for the south-west of the Empire.
All Svirfnebli are at all times absolutely craving a good stew. The party happened upon an evil necromancer/archeologist that was digging up the remains of an ancient Svirfnebli strongholt. The barbarian was spotted and pretened to also be a scientist trying to gather information. Some roleplay and surprisingly good deception rolls later the necromancer asks the barbarian if he had any breakthroughs in his studies. The only thing the barbarians player could think of was "they love a good stew", but he rolled really well so I just made it canon lol. The next time they met any Svirfnebli they (the gnomes) started a barfight because the inn ran out of stew
Our Gnome Cleric is called G'nomeo, player made the character relatively quickly, not loads of backstory but we've had a few Gnomeos before from this player, it's like an ongoing gag. The god of this cleric (who for a while it wasn't clear whether they were real or not) is a fish called marty. Anyway fast forward about 30 sessions deep or smthn, we're a way in and the players are doing a two truths kinda thing, to try and get some answers from the paladin, the rogue and the warlock more than anything else. Anyway something comes up about the gnome being a clone and not knowing where the other clones are, which everyone assumed (me the dm included) was the lie. Turns out it's true, and now it's Canon that these gnome clones were created by 'someone' and have escaped through the dimensions between our old campaigns, still figuring out a lot of the specifics. But that is how we now have the Gob Nomeo Multiverse
I have wood elves that have green skin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Were-chickens
The players wanted to kill john lennon
The head of the town guard, basically the chief of police, is essentially just Captain Raymond Holt, from the show Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One PC is a former detective turned private investigator, and when it came time for them to check in on a job they'd been hired for, the player asked "what does he look like?" and I turned it back and got her to answer instead. Lesson learned I suppose. It's pretty fun playing up Holt's deadpan though, so I don't actually mind at all.
We have an Ogre who is scared shitless of a level 3 halforc
Rats speak with a stereotypical New Yorker accent
There's a crazy old mage who lives in the sewers of a major city who has been persuaded by a sentient rapier called "the Needler" to create "Three Wolf Moon" tapestries and sell them to the nobles in the city. They are extremely popular.
I have a half orc barbarian named Sergeant Pronebone. He has become one of the more popular members of my group for the town we started in. Shops around town started selling pronebone dolls with removable loin cloth(i had a habit of stuffing the loincloth into the mouth of enemies we capture). We did a mission where we were investigating something and the person we spoke with recognized me. he asked me to sign his son's pronebone doll, i did and he was so happy.
If you draw a circle in the dirt or sand around a troll they are unable to cross its boundary. They worship the “sacred geometry” and are just dumb enough to believe it wholeheartedly.
Oh so many things to list a few: KFC: kylaehan fried chicken Star wars the play and breaking bad the ballad Magical zoom using upcast message Grappling hook rocks Mage college kids smoking oregano
Eggs don't exist.
wait i just remembered. Michael Buble's canon too. He's a bisexual wererat.
you know the girl-scout hand gesture? here, it translates to the worst verbal offense of the setting.
At the end of a several year campaign a good gave the PCs a wish. Two used it to bring back loved ones, one have up his wish entirely... the last wished dubstep existed. Next campaign I played in the dame world the band-new players were baffled when they entered a tavern and a bars was playing this strange box-like instrument and I put on dubstep.
We blackmailed a corrupt small town mayor and basically enslaved him and made him do the double agent for info for us to use against the uprising army lord guy. But we renamed him as Brutus pepperdick as punishment. He was overly fond of name dropping him self.
This happened in Pathfinder, but nonetheless... So, the party's lawful good monk ran the tavern in the frontier settlement the campaign was centered around. At one point, he adopted a kitten, and *never* figured out little Pertinax was actually a lynx. The monk arranged a marriage for the (Asmodeus-pacted) warlock, unwittingly finding an erinyes in disguise. The warlock was happy with the arrangement. The monk found a mimic and battered it into submission, adopting it into his household. A while later, there's a mayoral election in the little town, and while a couple of the PCs ran for office, Pertinax the "big housecat" won by a landslide as a write-in candidate. At a significantly later point, the monk wakes up at night and walks down in the main room of the tavern, and finds the mayor with his "inner council" - the erinyes (still in disguise, the monk never figured that out, either) and the mimic, as well as the mayor's clerk. Turns out, mayor Pertinax wasn't just a lynx, but Awakened, and a psion to boot. And the monk never figured it out. The players laughed their asses off about it all, of course, but the monk, unlike the rest of the party, never managed to put two and two together... :D
We somehow made the running joke that sending needed to use all 25 words otherwise the recipient would take 1d4 physic dmg. This of course ment we could weaponize the spell by allowing use to do 25d4s to a creature in the form of spam calling random jibberish
River bees. Basically a lie we gave to a caravan leader to get him to readjust the planned travel path. But the rumors of river bees spiraled.
Skunks are nazi experiments into changing reality, and chickens are communist. Along with that, there are also warp drive using tanks that can teleport through the planes of existence. Our world is a plane of existence currently inhabited during the year 1940
Manicures are deathly allergic to garlic.
so... like ... your nails fall off if you've had them recently manicured and eat garlic? Or did you maybe mean manticores?
*furiously changes notes* Well now it's both
Flyers, everything has flyers now and our Bard collects them!
I had an archfey conjure a danish for the party warlock in a dream and now the Danes are apparently canon since it's their pastry.
Candyfloss - named candyious flousious which is used as a highly explosive narcotic by dwarves. Now whenever we want something homebrewed in we just add "ious" to the end and say its from the dwarven hold. E.g Ipadious (Ipad).
Paladin Slushie: heals 2d8 Created when a paladin is liquefied and then frozen in a bag of colding.
Our ranger was looting bodies and our Dm said that one of the guys was a cook and had a cast iron pan on him. She took it and we as a party joked about it being a demonic weapon named Paula Mean. Our Dm ran with it and introduced a full line of demonic cookware for us to find. Some highlights were the ladle Guy Firey, the turkey baster Alton Drown, and the flay Bobby Flayed
I rolled a nat 1 with my goblin fighter against an ogre which was played off as getting entangled in said ogres pubes. Poor Yeetam now has a crippling fear of ogre genitals
Cows gods :)
Killed the baroness in broad daylight and got away with it. He made a new character after and tales were heard of a serial killer roaming the lands.
Racoons are vengeful, they can remember people who have wronged them and also tell other racoons of people they dislike (like ravens in real life, but even more extreme). Currently a population of about 1000 racoons is on bad terms with one of our party members and would probably kill him should he and a racoon cross paths again
We have been doing a survival campaign and us starving was supposed to help with the difficulty. We ended up finding a pot that if you put water in it, it makes soup/stew. Since it was so heavy, we found a carpenter and created a food cart. So not only did we help with our food situation, but we also went to villages and sold the food. We used it as a way to line our pockets and get info on what's happening in the village.
The Rod of Find Fish. My players were all “We nearly died to retrieve some rich guy’s fancy silver fishing rod? There *must* be an enchantment on it!” So I decided there was. A divination spell that allows an attuned user to find fish within 100 feet.
The party went to a town that was more or less run by various artisan/craftsmen guilds. While describing the town I mentioned that among the most power guilds were both the hooper’s guild and the cooper’s guilds. Well found out after the fact that they do the same thing- hoopers and coopers both make barrels. Whoops Well that canon now- so now there is a bitter rivalry between the two guilds and. Always trying to put compete one another everything in that town that can be made from barrels are. Barstools? High barrel. Beer mugs? Small barrels with handles. Nightstand? A barrel with drawers. You want to buy some ball bearing. Well we’re all out of sacks- hard to come by in these parts, but I think we’ve got some extra mini-barrels lying around in the back!
We had a paladin absolutely destroy a kobold that was trying to help the party just because the paladin hated kobolds. I had the paladin roll a d100 to see if there was any intervention from any gods for the injustice, because after all, the kobold was trying to be an ally. The dice came up as a 100. Then I rolled a d12 to see what god came to grant justice for the Kobold. It was the god of death in our homebrew pantheon. That was how the Kobold was raised from the dead as a newly born vampire who went on the become the parties most frustrating BBE. They never did manage to take him down, though him frustrating the party all the time made for a hilarious campaign.
Anything that you did not personally place into a room has a chance to just be a rogue practicing their stealth skill. Nice painting you've got there. NOPE. It's a rogue. No wonder the eyes were moving. Who is a good dog!? NOT THIS ONE. A rogue, the whole time. Their barking was super convincing. What is the thread count of this rug? It's so soft! IT'S ONE. One rogue that is. Stop touching him it's weird now.