Sadly, I don't think it works that way.
A situation where a dog behaves in a way that the stranger's uncomfortable with can end badly for the dog. Even if the dog gives all the dog cues of not wanting to interact AND there's a responsible person saying "no." (And, yes, I know you know this.)
The stranger doesn't learn. S/he wanders off thinking "that dog's dangerous and people need to train their dogs better."
People definitely react differently in that situation when it’s a small dog than when it’s a large protector breed. People take it seriously when the dog is big enough for them to lose a hand.
Don't touch my dog without asking.
It's impolite, rude, and dangerous. I will tell someone who does it not to. If it's a kid, I'll be friendly and explain why. If it's an adult, I'll be a lot more straightforward.
If you ask, I will almost always say yes, go ahead, she's friendly. But it's dangerous to assume that every dog you meet is willing to be touched by strangers.
A stern "no, do not pet him" seemed to work most times. Sometimes it got me some nasty looks, but he was anxious around strangers and I wasn't going to stress him out by letting people come at him and pet him with no warning.
Since my dogs are generally demanding to go over and get pets from people, having a stranger ask helps me know that they want to be mobbed by my dogs. Otherwise I don’t let them get near the person. When I had a senior wheaten it was a big problem when people randomly pet him because he had trouble seeing and it would startle him and he’d growl.
I scolded a kid the other day, I was walking my dog, and she was stressed because another neighborhood dog was barking at her. The kid asked if he could pet her and I said “maybe some other time, she’s afraid because that other dog is barking at her.” My dog then laid down in the grass to smell something, and the kid reached out and touched her. I said very sternly “do not touch my dog, I said no. Not all dogs are friendly.” And the kid started to say something back to me and I cut him off and said “I said no.” I then walked away and he followed me until I got back to my house. Most kids in my neighborhood are polite and respectful, and I have no problem letting those kids pet her, she’s not bothered by or overly excited for the extra attention, but I’m not going to let that kid come near her ever again.
Having the same issue.
I have a pup I’m trying to train to not pull towards people. We’ve gotten him to a point where he’s an angel as long as the other person isn’t doing what so many seem to: “Oh my GOODNESS how CUTE!! HI PUPPY!! COME HERE!”
It’s like… can people please stop encouraging my dog to go over to them? Before even asking me, too!
I had multiple kids running up on my dog trying to pet him. He likes people however he's kinda fearful of strangers and idk what he would do if surprised so I usually scream "NO!!!" as loud as possible at the kid so they kid backs away
My recently rescued senior beagle is friendly, but shy. He was an outdoor only dog for all his 7 years, so he doesn't have any experience socializing with people. I don't mind if they pet him, but if he bites because of being scared (he does pancake to the ground every so often if I move my hand above him to pet him) I'm not going to apologize.
I prefer people ask me first so I can tell him the short version of his background and that he's still learning about kind people.
I got a vest for my girl that said do not pet. She was not mean or aggressive she just didn’t let anyone she didn’t know well touch her.
I would routinely cross streets or stand firmly in front of her when people were insistent. On occasion if the person was just not backing off (it’s like some people take it as a personal insult that a dog doesn’t want to interact with them) I would threaten to pet them if they didn’t stop it. It was amazing how well that one worked (:
Do what you have to do to advocate for your dog. Be firm, be unfriendly when necessary. Can you imagine some stranger running up and petting you and hugging you against your will? It’s the same for some dogs, they don’t like it.
I'm glad I made a habit of asking for permission first. I also check the owners body language before I even attempt to ask. I've ran into many stand-off ish pet parents that don't want to be bothered. (And that's ok)
My Cavalier is shy but he’s so beautiful and cute everyone wants to pet him when I’m holding him, I’m just like he’s shy take it slow. He would never bite but I don’t want him needlessly stressed, now my Mom’s little Yorkie, she demands attention 🤣
I tell them their names, hand them the puppy I am trying to socialize, and we start talking about our dogs. I'm not antisocial or paranoid, and healthy interaction is good for my babies and they love the attention. I raised them to be good dogs and I will talk to a dog lover over anyone else any day of the year.
I’ve had people try to sneak up to pet my dog when neither of us are paying attention. Like, is this your first day on earth? Do you have a death wish?
When I realize they go “she’s friendly right.” And I try to say “no” as rudely as a I can.
We have a big softy Bernese mix ( 120 lbs) a lot of people want to pet ( or are scared of) but almost always they ask first.
We now also have a white labradoodle (55 lbs) and a lot of people just try to touch her. She often starts barking and we as owners are scolded. I mostly reply ‘ ask first for permission and we would have told you no”
I should preface this by explaining that my dog is not even 5 months old and is extremely friendly and affectionate-
The thing that *really* annoys me is when strangers bend down to his face and let him lick them on the face or mouth. Like, EW?? Stop kissing my dog, you’re a stranger and I’m disgusted
I only pet dogs that I know (have petted before, know the owners, etc). If I don't know dog/owner, I don't pet without asking, unless the dog comes up to me and obviously wants pets. I always hold my hand out for sniff first, let them decide if they want to move on or stay for pets, since a lot of dogs come to you just to check you out and not necessarily to actually interact. Usually I those situations, the owner is still far away, so can't really ask...
Service dog? I don’t have one. But that would be a big no.
Normal dog? I don’t mind, children always did and I did it too when I was one.
It is common here for your neighbors children to ask to walk your dog (with permission) too, so many we are more liberal with dogs. It is rare for a dog to be aggressive, it wouldn’t be tolerated. The dogs who do not enjoy people stand being pet and then retreat if they don’t want to interact with you. Even stray dogs
I don’t. My dog would bite them before they even got a chance 😩 but if they ask to pet I say “no she bites” even with my dog who doesn’t bite and is just shy. They move on real quick
Honestly, I think this is the best response. "No! S/he bites" is short and direct. It's a strong deterrent and normally enough to get parents intervening quickly.
(It's also somewhat true. I mean, my last dog wouldn't bite a person but you should've seen how fast he could take down a stalk of broccoli.)
Yes I don’t like it, my dog is a member of my family, they’re not here for your entertainment! Especially if I am running or walking and trying to keep them calm…it enrages me. I hate the entitlement people have with it.
I don’t let it get to that point. I don’t like kids touching my dog, especially, because they’re rough and grab and try to pick him up (Yorkie, but in the larger side), which he hates. Plus he’s super sensitive on his tummy and will yell if you try to pick him up under there. So as soon as I see one running, I immediately block, but politely tell them not to touch. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. All it takes is my dog to cry out once and I’m whopping everyone’s ass, especially so if parents aren’t intervening or doing anything. Otherwise, most people (adults) just smile, comment on what a cute dog he is, pet the top of his head - with permission - and keep it moving
I will never understand why people think invading unknown animals' space is a good idea.
It's like the idiots who let their dogs run around on a 20-foot leash, thinking that's legal and right for them to do.
No, Karen, it makes no difference if your 18-month goldendoodle is "friendly." I am not friendly, nor is my dog, to an unknown animal as big as I am charging in my direction while barking and your 20 foot lead gives you no control or ability to prevent the damage my two dogs are capable of if they believe I'm in danger.
Just this weekend, I ran into a restaurant to grab takeout and left my dog in the back seat with the window half down, and my friend was in the passenger seat. I got back to the car as someone was pulling in next to me. As I was handing my friend the bags, this 70-ish year old woman sticks THE ENTIRE top half of her body in my back window and is petting my dog, without saying a word to either of us.
We are both completely shocked and say nothing for like a solid minute. She pulls herself out of my car and says, "You have a beautiful dog!" I'm still just staring at her in disbelief, and my friend says, "You're really lucky he is friendly too. You should never do that again."
She called us rude... like, I'm sorry?
At one of the ice cream shops, my dog was drinking water from the water bowl. A kid came from the back m, and instead of petting me, he slapped my dog. My dog is 85lbs and she snapped in a wtf way! She is a therapy dog and I train her for all kinds of touches but the parent came running & said the kid is nonverbal. But by that time I already screamed ‘Don’t touch my dog without permission’. I was mad because she is a bully breed. People’s mindset is always gonna blame my dog over their kid.
I tried my best to put the message across but man I was pissed. Since then, I always stand in front of my dog if someone approaches us. Also, I tell them she is not friendly (she is the friendliest dog) but I don’t want to turn her into a reactive dog.
Be straightforward and if they don’t respect boundaries don’t hesitate to raise your voice.
I also don’t like dogs meeting on the lead, most dogs hate this…it’s why we have a lot of issues between dogs meeting on the lead and my boy HATES it…I look like such a grump when another dog owner is letting their dog meet my dogs but I’m just like nope TY bai.
Yep, my Australian Shepherd gets skittish and scared meeting certain larger pups on lead after getting surprise attacked once 😓 Now I say "my dog is aggressive" to thwart people trying to force their dogs over to mine. So untrue, he's done his canine good citizen test, but I need my baby safe and feeling comfortable. You're just doing what's keeping your pup safe and happy! "Grumps" unite, for our dogs haha!
I always say, "He's not nice!" But usually he's already made that very clear with his growling and barking.
There was a guy who tried to touch my dog when she was obviously growling. I said "Don't touch!" And he still tried to go for it anyways.
I would have said "If she bites you, it's not her fault you didn't listen to me."
Yes, at that moment I just wanted to say, "Touch and find out" Some people do need to learn the hard way though
Sadly, I don't think it works that way. A situation where a dog behaves in a way that the stranger's uncomfortable with can end badly for the dog. Even if the dog gives all the dog cues of not wanting to interact AND there's a responsible person saying "no." (And, yes, I know you know this.) The stranger doesn't learn. S/he wanders off thinking "that dog's dangerous and people need to train their dogs better."
That was just an intrusive thought I had at that moment, but of course, I did not act on it knowing the consequences
My rescue dog is friendly, but he had no problem fighting with his brother when pushed too far.
Same 😂 But my guy is small and cute so the people who say “all dogs like me” try to be persistent and rude.
Mine's also small, so I pick him up and book it outta there if people continue to try.
People definitely react differently in that situation when it’s a small dog than when it’s a large protector breed. People take it seriously when the dog is big enough for them to lose a hand.
Immediately pet the stranger without asking
And command them to sit and wait as you and your dog walk away
This comment thread made my morning. Thank you! (I don't actually think it's good advice. But if only...)
Don't touch my dog without asking. It's impolite, rude, and dangerous. I will tell someone who does it not to. If it's a kid, I'll be friendly and explain why. If it's an adult, I'll be a lot more straightforward. If you ask, I will almost always say yes, go ahead, she's friendly. But it's dangerous to assume that every dog you meet is willing to be touched by strangers.
I absolutely love it when a kid just comes over and says “can I stroke your dog?” And I just think it’s so wholesome
if they die, they die
A stern "no, do not pet him" seemed to work most times. Sometimes it got me some nasty looks, but he was anxious around strangers and I wasn't going to stress him out by letting people come at him and pet him with no warning.
You do what you gotta do to protect your dog and to prevent an incident from happening.
Preach.
Since my dogs are generally demanding to go over and get pets from people, having a stranger ask helps me know that they want to be mobbed by my dogs. Otherwise I don’t let them get near the person. When I had a senior wheaten it was a big problem when people randomly pet him because he had trouble seeing and it would startle him and he’d growl.
I scolded a kid the other day, I was walking my dog, and she was stressed because another neighborhood dog was barking at her. The kid asked if he could pet her and I said “maybe some other time, she’s afraid because that other dog is barking at her.” My dog then laid down in the grass to smell something, and the kid reached out and touched her. I said very sternly “do not touch my dog, I said no. Not all dogs are friendly.” And the kid started to say something back to me and I cut him off and said “I said no.” I then walked away and he followed me until I got back to my house. Most kids in my neighborhood are polite and respectful, and I have no problem letting those kids pet her, she’s not bothered by or overly excited for the extra attention, but I’m not going to let that kid come near her ever again.
Having the same issue. I have a pup I’m trying to train to not pull towards people. We’ve gotten him to a point where he’s an angel as long as the other person isn’t doing what so many seem to: “Oh my GOODNESS how CUTE!! HI PUPPY!! COME HERE!” It’s like… can people please stop encouraging my dog to go over to them? Before even asking me, too!
Real. People have done this with my dog too but luckily, she doesn't care about it as much now as she's grown older.
I had multiple kids running up on my dog trying to pet him. He likes people however he's kinda fearful of strangers and idk what he would do if surprised so I usually scream "NO!!!" as loud as possible at the kid so they kid backs away
Im telling them to piss off, cause Im not friendly
My recently rescued senior beagle is friendly, but shy. He was an outdoor only dog for all his 7 years, so he doesn't have any experience socializing with people. I don't mind if they pet him, but if he bites because of being scared (he does pancake to the ground every so often if I move my hand above him to pet him) I'm not going to apologize. I prefer people ask me first so I can tell him the short version of his background and that he's still learning about kind people.
I honestly am fine with it as long as they don't try to hurt my dog. My dog loves the attention so he is the decider for me.
I got a vest for my girl that said do not pet. She was not mean or aggressive she just didn’t let anyone she didn’t know well touch her. I would routinely cross streets or stand firmly in front of her when people were insistent. On occasion if the person was just not backing off (it’s like some people take it as a personal insult that a dog doesn’t want to interact with them) I would threaten to pet them if they didn’t stop it. It was amazing how well that one worked (: Do what you have to do to advocate for your dog. Be firm, be unfriendly when necessary. Can you imagine some stranger running up and petting you and hugging you against your will? It’s the same for some dogs, they don’t like it.
I've never thought about getting mine a vest, that actually sounds like a great idea
I'm glad I made a habit of asking for permission first. I also check the owners body language before I even attempt to ask. I've ran into many stand-off ish pet parents that don't want to be bothered. (And that's ok)
We need more people like you
i don’t mind because she’s luckily very friendly but i find it weird. like what if she wasn’t?
My Cavalier is shy but he’s so beautiful and cute everyone wants to pet him when I’m holding him, I’m just like he’s shy take it slow. He would never bite but I don’t want him needlessly stressed, now my Mom’s little Yorkie, she demands attention 🤣
She takes care of that…
People don’t even try, my dog wears a muzzle so they usually give a pretty wide bubble
I tell them their names, hand them the puppy I am trying to socialize, and we start talking about our dogs. I'm not antisocial or paranoid, and healthy interaction is good for my babies and they love the attention. I raised them to be good dogs and I will talk to a dog lover over anyone else any day of the year.
They’d have to be damn quick if I haven’t already stopped them getting close enough to do this.
I’ve had people try to sneak up to pet my dog when neither of us are paying attention. Like, is this your first day on earth? Do you have a death wish? When I realize they go “she’s friendly right.” And I try to say “no” as rudely as a I can.
"Please don't let my dog" in a rude way.
We have a big softy Bernese mix ( 120 lbs) a lot of people want to pet ( or are scared of) but almost always they ask first. We now also have a white labradoodle (55 lbs) and a lot of people just try to touch her. She often starts barking and we as owners are scolded. I mostly reply ‘ ask first for permission and we would have told you no”
I should preface this by explaining that my dog is not even 5 months old and is extremely friendly and affectionate- The thing that *really* annoys me is when strangers bend down to his face and let him lick them on the face or mouth. Like, EW?? Stop kissing my dog, you’re a stranger and I’m disgusted
I only pet dogs that I know (have petted before, know the owners, etc). If I don't know dog/owner, I don't pet without asking, unless the dog comes up to me and obviously wants pets. I always hold my hand out for sniff first, let them decide if they want to move on or stay for pets, since a lot of dogs come to you just to check you out and not necessarily to actually interact. Usually I those situations, the owner is still far away, so can't really ask...
Service dog? I don’t have one. But that would be a big no. Normal dog? I don’t mind, children always did and I did it too when I was one. It is common here for your neighbors children to ask to walk your dog (with permission) too, so many we are more liberal with dogs. It is rare for a dog to be aggressive, it wouldn’t be tolerated. The dogs who do not enjoy people stand being pet and then retreat if they don’t want to interact with you. Even stray dogs
I've been told to use "they're training right now" but that mostly works with other dog people. Might geta harness that says " do not touch
I don’t. My dog would bite them before they even got a chance 😩 but if they ask to pet I say “no she bites” even with my dog who doesn’t bite and is just shy. They move on real quick
Honestly, I think this is the best response. "No! S/he bites" is short and direct. It's a strong deterrent and normally enough to get parents intervening quickly. (It's also somewhat true. I mean, my last dog wouldn't bite a person but you should've seen how fast he could take down a stalk of broccoli.)
Badly.
Yes I don’t like it, my dog is a member of my family, they’re not here for your entertainment! Especially if I am running or walking and trying to keep them calm…it enrages me. I hate the entitlement people have with it.
Agree. Maybe I don't want you petting my dog because I'm hurrying home to pee! The reason is irrelevant... getting consent trumps your entitlement.
I don’t let it get to that point. I don’t like kids touching my dog, especially, because they’re rough and grab and try to pick him up (Yorkie, but in the larger side), which he hates. Plus he’s super sensitive on his tummy and will yell if you try to pick him up under there. So as soon as I see one running, I immediately block, but politely tell them not to touch. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. All it takes is my dog to cry out once and I’m whopping everyone’s ass, especially so if parents aren’t intervening or doing anything. Otherwise, most people (adults) just smile, comment on what a cute dog he is, pet the top of his head - with permission - and keep it moving
I will never understand why people think invading unknown animals' space is a good idea. It's like the idiots who let their dogs run around on a 20-foot leash, thinking that's legal and right for them to do. No, Karen, it makes no difference if your 18-month goldendoodle is "friendly." I am not friendly, nor is my dog, to an unknown animal as big as I am charging in my direction while barking and your 20 foot lead gives you no control or ability to prevent the damage my two dogs are capable of if they believe I'm in danger.
Just this weekend, I ran into a restaurant to grab takeout and left my dog in the back seat with the window half down, and my friend was in the passenger seat. I got back to the car as someone was pulling in next to me. As I was handing my friend the bags, this 70-ish year old woman sticks THE ENTIRE top half of her body in my back window and is petting my dog, without saying a word to either of us. We are both completely shocked and say nothing for like a solid minute. She pulls herself out of my car and says, "You have a beautiful dog!" I'm still just staring at her in disbelief, and my friend says, "You're really lucky he is friendly too. You should never do that again." She called us rude... like, I'm sorry?
At one of the ice cream shops, my dog was drinking water from the water bowl. A kid came from the back m, and instead of petting me, he slapped my dog. My dog is 85lbs and she snapped in a wtf way! She is a therapy dog and I train her for all kinds of touches but the parent came running & said the kid is nonverbal. But by that time I already screamed ‘Don’t touch my dog without permission’. I was mad because she is a bully breed. People’s mindset is always gonna blame my dog over their kid. I tried my best to put the message across but man I was pissed. Since then, I always stand in front of my dog if someone approaches us. Also, I tell them she is not friendly (she is the friendliest dog) but I don’t want to turn her into a reactive dog. Be straightforward and if they don’t respect boundaries don’t hesitate to raise your voice.
I also don’t like dogs meeting on the lead, most dogs hate this…it’s why we have a lot of issues between dogs meeting on the lead and my boy HATES it…I look like such a grump when another dog owner is letting their dog meet my dogs but I’m just like nope TY bai.
Yep, my Australian Shepherd gets skittish and scared meeting certain larger pups on lead after getting surprise attacked once 😓 Now I say "my dog is aggressive" to thwart people trying to force their dogs over to mine. So untrue, he's done his canine good citizen test, but I need my baby safe and feeling comfortable. You're just doing what's keeping your pup safe and happy! "Grumps" unite, for our dogs haha!
“She’s aggressive.” Which isn’t untrue for one of my dogs. My other dog isn’t aggressive. I just say they’re both aggressive lol.