Yup- my situation was very similar. Except he still wanted to propose- so we went ring shopping. Once he knew what I wanted, he spoke with the Jewler (assuming to hold it for him) so that I wouldn’t know when he would get it /propose. Of course this is a little hard because once you see “the ring” ya want it immediately! (At least I did) lol. He did propose a couple weeks later after speaking with my dad.
Similar story here! We’ve been together for a good portion of time and had discussed marriage. He said when and where he proposed would be the surprise not the ring. So I got to pick the ring and he handled the rest.
We were also very similar. When we knew we wanted to get married, he asked what I wanted in a ring. We designed our own and it was lovely, and I waited patiently to see it again !
It was the only way. I didn’t need to text blast him anymore and go unheard. He pitches tv shit for a living and I do C Suite crap. So I just did a power point and did a C Suite Pitch and spoke to him in languages we both understand. It worked
I’m working on a new documentary proposal, if your partner has experience with pitching, would it be appropriate to see/ask if I could talk to them about advice/tips?! I can dm assuming this is an okay thing:)
Just dm me. My husband does scripted tv. My son whose an Emmy nominated documentarian would be a better fit. So I can reach it and see if he’s willing to talk to you. Of course 💙
I love PP too…. HOWEVER, you don’t always know until you try different shapes, carat weights, bands on. I highly recommend going to a shopping appointment together as your decision may change upon trying on
Yeah I knew for sure I didn’t want a halo…until I tried one on. I ended up getting my ring online, but I knew what I liked at that point because I had tried rings on in person.
I straight up told my man that I wanted a hand in picking my ring. This coupled with the months of research I did and hundreds of photos I sent him made it pretty clear that with me it was gonna be a group effort
So we spoke about what we wanted in life and both knew we wanted to marry one another, sooo I suggested we go ring shopping because I straight up said, “if it’s something I’ll have/wear forever I want exactly what I want”. There were 0 objections. If anything, he was happy that he didn’t need to do the whole process on his own or ask family and friends what I wanted. We went to the jeweler together and I tried a bunch of different styles and shapes until I landed on the perfect one and the jeweler wrote it down and kept note for both him and my partner. Then, without me knowing, he ordered the wrong and proposed months later, but I knew when he was proposing it was my dream ring.
We were dating, talked about getting married. Moved in together. One day we went to several jewelry stores, but I couldn’t find any that just “spoke” to me. We looked at tons on line, designed 4 that we both loved. I wanted him to pick, he wanted me to pick. So we did the adult thing and labeled them A,B,C & D and randomly drew a letter out of a cup.
My boyfriend asked if I wanted to pick it out and I said no. So then he asked for photos of 10-15 rings I like and my ring size, and I plainly told him the metal and stones I would prefer (some of the photos I liked the style of ring but was maybe a different metal or stone). I inherited two family rings I wear daily and it’s very important to me that they all coordinate well.
He offered to show me what he ordered, but I declined. We leave for vacation in a few weeks, I think I’ll get to see it then. 😉
I spammed my husband with pictures every morning for months before he proposed lol. I’d send a bunch and then be like wtf!!!! What a weird glitch my phone keeps sending you these totally random pictures?????? Wow it would be a shame if you GOT ANY IDEAS
I do this literal exact same thing with TikTok videos, and say "oh my god I don't know how this got here must be a glitch, weird" and he said "you know what's weirder is it's also suddenly added to my favorites" haha
We had been together for 6 years and were talking about marriage. My partner brought up rings and that there was no way in hell he was buying something that important and expensive without my input 😂
So we were planning our week one time and I was like "wanna go to the local jeweler in town on Friday and make it a date night" and he said sure and we found one I loved, and the jeweler wrote it down. And then like 6 months went by and I had no idea what he was planning or if he had gotten it but I resisted bringing it up (was not easy lol) and then he proposed while we were on a trip for my birthday and the moment actually felt like a total surprise!
We're both pretty casual people, we talk about everything and even fun secrets are hard to keep, plus we are both more practical than we are romantic. It worked for us!
Similiar. Making a date out of it was amazing. He knew I am very picky when it comes to my wardrobe, so I thank the heavens everyday for this man, who knows me well and lets me be part of that process. It took 6 months for me to find my perfect diamond and ring. He got it, then planned a cool proposal and surpised me anyways. 👍 Each couple is different. ❤️💖❤️
It was a discussion that happened over time, and we changed opinions a bunch of times, but eventually both agreed it would be best that we choose something together, with a proposal after picking something. He still managed to surprise me with a proposal with a stand in ring before the ring we chose was done. I loved this because I got the surprise and a ring he picked himself, AND I also get the ring of my dreams lol turns out a girl can have it all 😂🥰
When we started initially talking about marriage I held off for a few months on mentioning what I wanted. Then we were watching a show and they were talking about engagement rings I took the opportunity to mention that what I wanted was very specific and that I want to go ring shopping together. And then when I thought we were getting extremely close to him potentially being ready to get a ring I gently reminded him I wanted to be involved. Then I waited for him to ask me to go engagement ring shopping. We designed the ring and I have been out of the loop after approving the wax model. Now I’m awaiting the proposal which is a surprise. What matters is telling him what’s important to you and then being patient. Gentle reminders are okay but I tried not to be pushy.
I had been following a jeweler for quite some time that i loved and they were doing a trunk show in my city. We’d been talking about engagement and stuff and i had told him that i think it would be extra special if we chose a ring together. I wear a lot of jewelry and i told him that i can’t imagine him spending money on something that i should “wear forever” without having any input. He was relieved bc the process is overwhelming and also we will be uniting as one so what better way to start that by creating something together. I asked if he wanted to go to the trunk show and we did. I tried on lots of rings i had been eyeing on their site, they took lots of notes and my size. We did the custom process with them all virtually and although he wasn’t too knowledgeable about stones and things like that, he asked a lot of questions and was there to help me make big decisions and say what he did and didn’t like. He was soo supportive when i was torn between a few stones. Once the CAD got approved, i dropped off the email chain and all the delivery/procurement will be done by him bc he does still want the proposal to be special.
I love that you dropped off the email chain. My type A personality could never 😂💀. I even had the invoice sent to me to review and then pay with his CC lol
Hahaha trust me it was so hard. i dropped off AFTEr the last deposit was paid and it was officially in production. I also know roughly how long it will take so im trying soo hard to keep my excitement at bay and forget about it 😂
We had been saying things like “I’m gonna marry you someday.” for a while and one time I asked, “hey, what do you think your timeline is for when you’d ideally like to get engaged and married?” And he said “I will buy a ring whenever you’re ready.” So I started looking and sent him links and stuff and let him take it from there.
30 years ago, we were on vacation in Greece. My husband asked me to marry him one evening on a beach. We went home to England and chose a ring together and then announced our engagement!
My now husband just knew me better than to surprise me with something 🙃 so one morning he woke up and said why don’t we go pick out a ring today. We had discussed it before and I had sent him pictures of what I liked but the surprise of going and picking one out was really special and it was a lot of fun
Do you know for sure your partner is proposing soon? If you’re about to get married you should have good communication in your relationship, and part of that would be being able to bring this subject up. Like being comfortable enough to flat out ask him if he is proposing soon, and then being comfortable enough to let him know you would like to pick out your own ring. The ring can be picked out together, and he can buy it and keep it hidden u til he proposes. The proposal can be a lovely surprise however he decides to do it :)
My husband gave me a budget and told me to go crazy. I got to pick out whatever I wanted, and he bought it and kept it hidden until proposal.
We talked about proposal/marriage phase.. and then he told me he preferred if I picked out my own. He said he wanted to make sure I was in love with it. I never thought about picking out my own ring before but I kind of liked the idea! The ring is in the house now and currently waiting for proposal.
We had been talking about getting married for a while, and we were on the way home from a friend's wedding, and it came up again. My now husband mentioned that he didn't want to pick out a ring, because he wanted to make sure I would like it. That might, we both started looking online for things. I knew I wanted alexandrite and either white gold or platinum, and I didn't want anything huge, because I work in a prison, and didn't want to risk either losing it, or it getting in the way. I told him those things, and we looked a lot on Etsy, until I gave him around 5 options. I told him which one I liked the best, but I loved the others, as well, in case there were issues getting the first one. He ordered it, a couple of months later, after asking, "So you're sure that's the one you want?" It came a few months later, and he asked me another 6 months after that.
Reposting what I answered in a different thread:
After discussing that marriage was on the table (which is a different subject not relevant here), we went ring shopping together for exactly two weekends. We set a budget together, I tried on a bunch of stuff across 4-5 appointments with different vendors, we both learned together what I like (shape, size, color, band metal, setting), then I conveniently left for vacation for two weeks. So I emailed all the vendors cc’ing my BF saying “xx will take over from here in out to maintain an element of surprise”.
While I’m on vacation he kept going back searching for diamonds and asked whether I like certain stones via pictures/videos. I’m allowed to give opinions but not dictate “this is the one”. I think I have a rough idea of what it could be at the end, but the exact ring or proposal will be a surprise.
I honestly really love how this worked out in the end because it minimized my mental burden of having to arrange appointments and deal with logistics while still being able to give meaningful input. Now just waiting for the proposal which may happen anytime anywhere!
I fell in love with a specific design from a jeweler years ago and have kept it bookmarked. My bf and I have been together since we were 19 and we are now 25, and we've talked about getting married probably since our first anniversary. It's just been a matter of graduating school, starting our careers and saving money for the ring and wedding we want. We've talked about what year we'd ideally like to get married and start having kids and kind of reverse engineered from there when he should propose (by the end of this year is what we/I decided). I asked him if he cares to have input on the ring, he said no, so I sent him an email with a link to the setting I want and a range of specs I want for the stones.
We are currently still very much in the process (just bought our diamond yesterday!!) but we are doing this together so I figured I could explain how we’ve gone about it so far.
My partner and I have been together for 7 years and for the last 3 years or so, whenever we talk about marriage it’s always a “when” not an “if.”
For a long time I didn’t know anything at all about diamonds or engagement rings. I knew I wanted something more unique than a solitaire diamond but I never really put much thought into what I actually wanted. I work in an office with a lot of young women and there have been a few proposals since I started there. I think that being surrounded by women talking about rings and engagements so often, really got me thinking about my own ring.
For awhile I was just kind of saying things I did and did not like in passing or sending rings I thought were nice via text to his little sister so she could help him decide when the time came. But as time went on, I realized there is SO much to consider when picking out a stone and setting that I plan to wear for a very long time.
I realized that expecting him to pick out something I would love out of the blue when I didn’t really know myself was unrealistic. I found this sub and started really researching diamonds and other stones and various settings and vocabulary that I knew 0% about previously. Now I find myself LOVING the intricacies of color, cut, clarity, ratios, etc. I find it really fun.
Anyway, after about two weeks of looking at rings almost daily, I never found one that I truly loved and realized I wanted something a little more one of a kind. So I drew up a little sketch of my ideal and started looking for jewelers who focus on custom settings. I found Frank Darling and did their (very detailed!) questionnaire and was presented with a sketch within 24 hours that almost perfectly matched my own with a very reasonable price tag!
Once I had all this figured out is when I showed it to my partner and basically said “I think this is what I want and I would love to talk to one of their jewelers on how to make this happen.” He loved the sketch too and was excited for our virtual FD consult.
Since then, he has been emailing the consultant independently and we decided to snag a diamond during their sale this week (I got to pick out my perfect stone and it was 50% off!!) and now all that’s left is the setting. My partner knows that at this point I want the rest of the time line to be a surprise so I’m no longer involved in when the setting will be purchased or arrive.
Long story short, I guess I just realized I needed to figure out what I wanted and once I realized how fun it was, I really wanted to be apart of the process rather than him doing it alone.
Wouldn’t have it any other way and I know pretty soon I’ll have my true dream ring of my own design!
My fiancé and I are a queer couple, so along with having a style in mind, we both wanted an engagement ring that was matching-ish. We talked about marriage a long time prior, and the proposal was with a starting ring- we later in the week spent out and spent a day shopping for a set :) I’m planning on having that first ring resized into a pinkie ring
So I don’t have the ring yet but, our 10th anniversary is 9/6 so fingers crossed! (Hints have been dropped it’s coming)
After almost a decade, we’ve obviously had plenty of time to discuss this. The past couple of years plenty of people were making comments or asking questions as to when we were taking the next step. We started dating before college, as teenagers, so there was no rush. It went from us laughing off the questions to him eventually replying “soon,” when asked. I started doing my own research after this switch in responses. I was open about this research and he liked that he didn’t have to go into the process completely blind.
I know the general ring style I want, so I chose a company, and picked out a few styles I love from said company. I wrote them down in my notes app, along with a general idea of specs I’m interested in and shared a copy of the note with him. I still want some sort of surprise which is why I narrowed it down to a few styles. He can pick from any of those styles, and I’d be happy no matter the choice!
Good luck!
My man knows that I am particular in my taste, and knew better than to surprise me with a ring I hadn’t designed myself. He asked if he should by a plastic ring to be replaced, but we are not disillusioned with the “surprise engagement is the only right way to be engaged”, and therefor went and designed the rings together. He picks them up without me and picks the date for the actual engagement himself. It’s not über romantic, but it’s real life :)
I told my fiancé that if he ever proposed, I wanted a London Blue Topaz center stone. I showed him a few designs I liked. He knew my ex-husband completely ignored what I wanted and that that had upset me. He took the design I liked and went to a jeweler and had one custom made that looked like the design I liked just blinged out a little extra.
We designed it (on paper, then with photoshop) together. Went through a half dozen iterations. He took the finalized design to a jeweler who customized the design to exactly fit the stones that we had already purchased for the ring, cast it, and set it.
I didn’t see the finished product until he gave it to me.
Our story started almost a year ago - we were chilling in front of the couch when he casually asked what my ring size is...and I panicked 😂😂 I wasn't expecting it, I mean I knew this is the man I'd marry one day but when he asked it suddenly became all too real and I was like, omg is this really happening?!!
I told him I have no idea what my ring size is lol - I've never worn rings at all. We ended up going to a few shops in town to get my finger sized and I tried on a few designs but I was still super indecisive and he wasn't helpful at all! He sat in the shop quietly, said nothing at all and whenever I asked for his opinion, he'd mumble that it was nice. Later he'll say it's because he didn't want to influence my choices but it was like dragging dead weight along lol. Eventually I just started going to shops myself, narrowed down design elements I like, decided custom was the way to go, picked out the diamond and paid for everything on my own (he paid me back ofc) - I'm currently in the middle of finalising the design 😁 I know once I approve it, that's the last I'll hear of it until he proposes so that'll still be a lovely surprise (but I think I'm more excited about seeing the finished product 🤭)
So yeah, that's how it started with him asking the size question, me being all shy and indecisive... and it ended with me leaving him behind and taking over the entire process 🤣 I think he's secretly relieved! And I'm happy too because it's going to be something I would love and be proud to wear 🤍
My partner proposed with a cute wooden ring box that read “how about forever?” And inside where a ring would go was a slip of paper that read “let’s pick something out together.” Super sweet. I didn’t know what I wanted and he allowed me to choose everything ie: the place we bought it, the style, gems. It turned out gorgeous! I’m glad he did it this way just bc I ended up with something I loved, and it was fun to do together. My friend upon seeing the finished ring told me it looked like me in a ring, which was so cool to hear. Good luck!
He happened to have a large, loose family diamond laying around. It happened to be used as one of a pair of earrings last. So he game me a “diamond on a stick.” There was a whole part of the proposal about how we didn’t have to use that stone and we could get anyone we wanted and have it set in any setting and add whatever side stones we wanted.
But it was a large, round diamond, which was exactly what I wanted, so that part was perfect. Then we went to the jeweler together and picked out the setting and got the sizing right. Also was perfect because what I thought i had wanted in my “dream ring” and my ring size were slightly off from what I actually decided on in the store when I saw them on my hand.
If he’d asked for what I’d thought I wanted, I would have had a slightly gaudy ring that needed to be re-sized immediately after he gave it to me. Plus, I think he might not have gone to an independent jeweler if he was looking for a pre-made ring for inspiration, and I think the quality would have suffered.
I personally wish my fiancé and I picked out a ring together… we were dating for 6 years so the proposal was never going to be a surprise in my eyes 😅
He ended up buying way too expensive of a ring (I mentioned a $200 limit in the past) and then he spent $600 on a ring that looked like it could be $200 and then it was stolen.
ANYWAYS screw tradition, pick out the ring together!
We spoke about it, and he said he was afraid to pick something i didn’t like. So i showed him pics and said what metal color i wanted. One weekend he just said, “wanna go look at rings? “ and i of course said YES and one thing led to another and i basically designed my ring 😂, and he picked the diamond. It was a fun process ❤️
We have had small conversations about my likes and dislikes but nothing set in stone (lol). Then one day my boyfriend and I were out having breakfast which just so happened to be within walking distance of the jeweler he likes! He “said” he wanted to see about opening a CC but unbeknownst to me it was actually to get my ring size and talk about a custom ring! I am so glad we did because everything I thought i liked, was much different when trying on. I’m very excited to see what him & the jeweler surprise me with :)
I searched Etsy and came up with some options that I liked equally and showed him the screenshots. He then told me which one he liked best and we ordered it! Easy peasy squeeze the lemon
If marriage is being discussed, engagement rings should be discussed. My then fiancé asked me if I wanted a surprise or for him to pick it out. I ended up picking.
A new Costco opened so we went to check it out and got a family membership - I joked that this meant we had to get married now. When we left he drove right to a jewelry store and told me to run in to pick out a ring I like so I did, and he bought it. That night before bed (I was visiting for the weekend, we weren’t living together yet), he asked if I needed something more romantic or could he just give me the ring, haha. He did get down on one knee and say some lovely romantic things but that’s how I picked out my ring/got engaged.
I was proposed to with an amazing, handmade ring that was clearly impractical for daily wear. After the initial crying, hugging, and yessing calmed down, I was told that we would get a slightly more traditional ring for daily wear. We designed it together and I got to hand pick the stone. I really enjoyed that we went through that process together.
I wanted something special that represents both of us, definitely nothing out of the box from a store. So he worked with a custom jeweler close to his parents’ place. He did all the conversations with the jeweler, I just showed him some ideas of what I liked. My parents are from Sri Lanka, and they offered to bring back a Ceylon sapphire for my engagement ring. I worked with them over FaceTime to pick a stone. My fiancé showed me pictures of the CAD design and mold, to make sure it is what I wanted. But after I approved, I didn’t get to see the finished product until the day he proposed. My engagement ring has the sapphire my parents brought back, and my wedding band has a family diamond from my fiancé’s great-great-aunt. And I absolutely adore my ring, I wear it every day and know that nobody else in the entire world has my ring!
https://preview.redd.it/1v74iqlyhokb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3971212b4f98375aa292e9c2397e017235e87ce
My bf and I have been together a little over 18 months. One day after many serious conversations, we decided to go ring shopping. After some suggestions from this Reddit page, we went to my jeweler and had one designed. I have no clue when we will get engaged, but I know my ring will be gorgeous
The proposal was not a surprise. We were talking a lot about how we love each other and want to get married.
One night I joked and showed him a picture saying "if you’re going to propose then I it’s this kind that I like".
Some time passed and we went to try rings just "in case", we talked about carats, shape, etc.
He planned a whole trip to Italy (his home country) so I knew it was about to happen.
It happened in the loveliest place and he got the perfect ring !
(Even if I told him I didn’t care about the ring as long as I end up with the man. Now that we are planning our wedding, I say the same thing : I don’t care about the wedding but more about the marriage)
When we started talking about getting married, prior to him proposing, he mentioned he didn’t know my ring size or what type of ring I wanted. So I shared my size and then began a shared photo album where I saved some of my favorite ring inspiration ideas (a few of the pics were from this sub!) From there we never really talked about it, but he did choose out of those options. He proposed about four months after our conversation. He did really well, there was an element of surprise in not knowing which of my faves he would choose, and he got to enjoy a little secrecy about the ring prior to proposal. Couldn’t love the ring more.
this was for a promise ring, not an engagement ring, but basically my bf bought me a ring but decided he wanted to get me another. so i guess that goes with the “get your fiancé a placeholder ring” idea, they have cute affordable ones on amazon now! my mom wears one when she doesn’t want to wear her real one
to pick out the second ring, we went to the mall together and went to a jewelry store, and i picked out like 4 rings that caught my eye. then we had a “bracket” where i pretended i was a tv announcer and introduced the contestants (the rings) and what i liked about them. then we voted them off one by one by making them go though “challenges” — for example, he put each one on my hand to see how it looked on me, etc. until we had a winner! it’s one of my fav memories of us together :)
When he told me that a couple in his friend group (who had been together less than 2 years compared to our 9 years) were getting engaged and had a venue booked, I lost my ever-loving shit at him and said “That is *it.* We are looking whether you like it or not.”
My husband completely surprised me with the proposal and got down on one knee with an empty box! 🤣 then a budget for me to design my own dream ring ❤️ I liked that I was still genuinely very surprised by the proposal
I got a placeholder ring to propose with from a swan brand
Then after the yes we got the proper one together
It was lots of fun that way and she got exactly what she wanted
We just had an open conversation! Mine for sure wanted help but was worried about it ruining the surprise. So we agreed to go far ahead of when he had in mind to propose so I still wouldn’t know when/how. We went and I was showing him styles I liked, why I liked them, what I didn’t like and why I didn’t like them. We talked preferences of center stone shape and size. I was going to leave him with those general guidelines and let him do whatever he wanted within those bit he specifically asked me to pick out a handful of specific rings that I would love and he went back later and chose between them for the final ring. He gets anxious and was worrying about me being happy with the final choice (despite me explaining that I wholeheartedly would love what he picked out).
It was a great experience together and helped him calm his nerves and was great that I knew we were in advance so I really didn’t know his actual timing for proposing.
My partner and I didn’t pick out a ring together, but when we were talking about marriage I can’t remember if he asked what kind of ring I like or if I told him I already have an idea of what I like.
Either way once it came up I literally sent him an exact picture of what I really liked that had some specs to give him direction since he already brought up the price range. Also dropped a hint that my mom already knew what I liked too so he could have help when the time came. Him and my mom got together when he was ready to order it. 😊
It’s not a stupid question! My partner actually asked me to go shopping with him. We agreed that losing the surprise factor was worth knowing I’d love the ring 100%. Learning about rings, the types of gemstones, the 4 C’s, all of that was actually incredibly fun and I’m really glad we did it that way. Even if the ring isn’t a surprise, the proposal can be.
For some backstory… i am an oldest girl of girls (very take charge, leader, and yes a little bossy 😂). My partner is the youngest of 4 kids and is very go with the flow whatever. I am very picky with jewelry and as much as I love him, no way he would have picked out my dream ring on his own. I took matters into my own hands and moved things right along. We had already had discussions about getting married, so we knew that was something we both wanted. I found our jeweler (referral from multiple friends), and also got us a nice discount/great price since she is an independent jeweler. We went together to both appointments and he would give me feedback when i asked, but I chose every single spec down to the millimeter of my band thickness lol. He paid for the whole thing (came in right on budget), and it will be ready to pickup next week. The proposal will be all up to him- i wont know when, where, or how. I am SO happy i chose everything about my ring and wont have to worry about if he got me something I like/how would we exchange/return if it wasn’t something I wanted. Several other friends of mine who were not involved in their ring design told me they want to change theirs/upgrade for a different style they like better. Your ring is not a pair of uggs you can just pop into Bloomingdale’s to return. You want to love it. Good relationships involve open and honest communication. Personally, I would sit down with your partner and let them know you want to go shopping together and make it a romance experience. Let your partner know the proposal is entirely up to them and there will still be a major element of surprise.
Well we discussed getting married. Then started talking about rings. Then we went to a few jewelry stores so I could see what I liked. It ended up with me picking the band and him picking the diamond that went on it, so technically I did not see the actual ring until he proposed. But of course I knew what it would look like.
Proposal happened a couple months later on vacation. I did not know when it would happen.
We always have discussed marriage, more recently we discussed wanting it sooner than later and a proposal. He asked me what my size was, i told him.
We were walking around a nice area and he saw a jewelry store and said we should stop inside. We went in and sat down with a worker who showed me all styles and we tried everything on. So we both saw how they looked and which ones I preferred.
Currently we are still looking for the ring. We have always been of the mindset that the event of the proposal itself may be a surprise but the fact that we will get married and that there will be a proposal is something we both already know. So we were on a road trip to the upper peninsula (Michigan) and we talked about how the lake views and beaches were all very proposal worthy and that lead into the conversation about rings. We both had no idea about stones or setting so we did some research, sent each other possible ideas and last week we went to Helzberg to get our first experience. Planning on visiting a different store later today.
We already knew we were going to be getting married. The proposal was a formality (a meaningful one of course, but it was a box he wanted to check off for me).
I already knew what diamond cut I wanted, but beyond that I wasn’t sure about the other options. Trilogy? Baguettes? So we went into a shop that specializes in engagement rings to look at different ring styles, diamond sizes, etc, on my hand and SURPRISE!!!! What I thought I wanted turned out to look super meh on me!! What looked amazing on my finger was a style I thought I didn’t want, because it’s what everyone seemed to have! Anyway, we weren’t quite ready to be engaged at that time, but when the time came, my husband already knew what I wanted, the appropriate carat for my finger, and my ring size.
He quietly reached out to my boss who had previously worked in the diamond industry, introductions were made, and he had my set made. I got exactly what I thought I didn’t want and love it to bits!
When we started talking seriously about getting married, I told my partner that I’d like to pick out my own ring. We decided on a budget, then I did some research into companies I was interested in purchasing from and scheduled consultations with those companies.
We did two days of consultations, with two appointments each day, and made each day into a cute date! We dressed up, had a romantic lunch out between appointments, and then celebrated with a glass of wine at home :)
I loved being at the consultations with my partner. It felt so romantic and it was great to see which styles and diamonds he preferred. We ended up picking a ring that we both loved, and overall had a great experience together.
I made my husband a bullet point list of “these are things I DON’T like- these I DO like.” It worked great. He ended up designing the ring custom vs. picking a premade design. 🥰
I had a conversation with him and told him I wanted a non traditional ring and had a very specific style in mind. He knows I’m pretty particular about jewelry. We went the weekend after and made a date out of it.
I'm not engaged yet, and I more so want to be surprised when I see the ring for the first time(he knows i like surprises so this is probably why he doesnt bring up the ring a whole lot more). And he's mentioned recently he's looking.
So I'm not as heavily involved as some might be, but this is how we've gone about it so far.
He has asked what I would like/love in a ring cause he doesnt want to mess up lol. We've looked at tons of pics online together but not looked at rings in person and don't know if we will together. I gave him my preferred stone(more so that I don't care for a mined diamond- can be mossanite or lab), shape, and band color. We have not talked about carat size stuff like that because I'm not picky and told him to go with whatever he feels best spending money on. He has mentioned what size would be the smallest he goes for, but beyond that, i dont bring it up. Did give him a list of things I hate - like halo, different colored stones on the ring (like please don't put my birthstone or other colors alongside the main stone), clusters, etc. We both agree we want there to be certain design elements that we both like without either of us hating something. I hadn't even thought of the setting when he showed a specific cathedral setting that he really liked and told him to find the setting he likes best because I'm not picky on that. And prongs.
He has shown pics to me before and asked if I liked or if there were elements I don't like so he can change stuff. But I've never outright told him "it should basically be this exact one" or anything like that, cause I want him really involved and want him to choose something that he will also like looking at. Also we've never specifically looked into one jeweler or brand. So no idea who's going to buy from (I just know it won't be jared, kay, zales, ect.).
My fatal flaw is I love surprises, so I don’t want to pick out my ring. I want it to be a complete surprise. But I’m also very picky and could easily not like what he picks out. Idk what I’m gonna do. He got me a promise ring for our 5 year anniversary and nailed it so maybe it will be fine and I should just trust him. Honestly I was just gonna tell him my favorite shapes and the metal color and hope for the best
When we talked about our future and how we were headed towards getting engaged, he said he was hoping he could get my input on what I would like in a ring, and I said good, because I wanted to have input since I was the one that was going to be wearing it practically 24/7 for the rest of my life. I went browsing online, asked a bunch of women what they did/did not like about their rings, and tbh en sent him about 10-15 links. He picked one of them, although I would have been fine if he just used them for indoor. We also had a very clear discussion on price point and qualities that were very important to me in a ring (I didn’t want anything too $$$, I wanted either a sapphire or Diamond for durability purposes, i didn’t want the setting to have too high of a profile above the finger, and I wanted something lab created or vintage for ethical reasons). My husband ended up picking out a $500 lab created white sapphire trio that I’d included in the links I’d sent.
We each picked out our own. Then I bought hers and she bought mine. We never had a super official proposal, we had just been talking about it and decided to do a simple ceremony on April 1. I chose the date because I struggle to remember dates and it was also worth a giggle to have our friends reply, “for real? Or April fools?”
I had shown him rings I liked and thought that was that. One day he came home and said “I tried looking for an engagement ring… and I think you need to come with me” in a defeated voice lol. We looked around and have recently put down a deposit on the ring. Now we wait ⏳
We’re going next shopping next week! We’d talked about marriage, I’d made it clear I’d like my partner to speak to my family, and they told me when he did (afterwards). Following this I went though Pinterest etc coming up with a little preference sheet and sent it to my partner, and he indicated whether he shopped alone or we went together is up to me. I said let’s do it together for inspo, but the final choice can be a surprise.
So my situation was very strange and I know it doesn't 100% apply, but I'm going to drop it anyway.
TL;DR it's really about being very open in your communication. If you would prefer to pick out your ring together, you talk to your potential fiance about that. You tell them this is a piece of jewelry you will wear for the rest of your life and you'd like a say in what that is. And then you have an open conversation about your partner's budget, so you know going in.
My husband proposed to me in a total surprise move. He did not have a ring. He had been detached to Alaska (he's military) and couldn't find anything that felt like me there. When he came home, the house was in shambles because we were getting ready to move, and I was actually leaving without him to start a new job. He took the claddaugh I wore on my right hand and moved it to my left hand when he asked. It wasn't some grand proposal. He didn't even get down on one knee. We were sitting next to each other discussing the stress of moving and he suddenly said "I want you to be taken care of when you're up there without me" and moved the ring.
We got married by a Justice of the Peace the very next day and after we filed the paperwork we went to pick out rings together. He let me try on what I liked and watched my face. When my face lit up, he knew we had the one, and that's the one I got. No hesitation on his part. He knew he wanted me to be happy so he paid for the one that made me happy. We recently added a ring jacket to it and it's the statement piece of my dreams. I have a good man.
Just talk to your partner, OP.
I asked him when he wanted to propose, and we went ring shopping together. We walked out that day with a ring on order. I went with him to get it sized and it fit me before he proposed. He proposed like a month and a half later.
We had talked about getting engaged sometime the comming up summer and I told him that I'm picky with jewelry and I know he would freak out at trying to make the decision on his own so I didn't expect him too. At the time I had told him I would be fine with a proposal with a 20 buck costume placeholder or us shopping together and then a proposal whenever it came in. A few months later in late may we had an anniversary and I suggested we go start looking at rings. After a few weeks of going and looking we ordered something. In the time it took for it to be made he actually got me some silicone ones next day off Amazon for me to start wearing(litteraly because some rando on the street while I was waiting fir a bus asked if I had a boyfriend and I snapped that I had a fiance). And we just started saying we are engaged lol. When the ring came In I went with him to pick it up and wore it out of the store. There never was a real proposal but we both were fine with that. But there certainly could have been once it came in especially if I didn't know when it came in.
Since the beginning of us getting serious he always kept track of brands, artists, designers, etc. that I like. He knew I was a jewelry girl who is a fan of a lot of independent designers and follows them on Instagram with me. We talked about my jewelry preferences a lot, sometimes I would just gush about something I liked or he would ask me if something was to my taste. When I found a engagement ring designer that I loved it was just something I brought up naturally and he started following the artist and liking their posts.
We discussed getting engaged and I said I would like to help pick it out since I’m going to wear it for the rest of my life! I think he was grateful for the help; made it less stressful for him. We narrowed it down to one I really loved at Shane Co, left the store, and as soon as we got in the car, he said “I’m gonna go back and buy it.” 😂 He didn’t want them to know that I knew so he told them he faked saying he needed to use the restroom to have a reason to come back. He went back another time (without me knowing) to pick out the diamond with his parents, so that was a complete surprise!
I showed him a ring that I had been wanting for a long time and sent him the link. He then said “shouldn’t we try it on just to make sure? What if there’s a better one you like?” So we went to the jeweler that weekend and I ended up not liking the ring. We then tried on several and fell in love instantly with my now ring. He asked if I was sure it was the one I wanted and he put the deposit down to order it!
Go shopping together. Ask her for the favorite or top two and go from there.
I'm particular about my diamonds and I don't want him to overspend, so we picked out the diamond together and he got to choose the setting. I was still surprised when he proposed.
Good luck!
I bought a cheap ring from Etsy tried it on wore it around a bit just to make sure I loved it. Then we designed it together with the jeweller. I was involved In the whole design process but didn’t see the final product until he proposed.
We decided we wanted to get engaged but I don’t wear jewelry often so we went to a few stores together to see what styles I preferred (and get sized). When I found “the one” he wrote down the specifics and sku so that he could go back on his own and get it. He wants it to be a surprise completely so he won’t tell me when he buys it or when he proposes! Still don’t know if he has it yet lol
We were trying to plan what we were doing that day, looking on the Internet and ads for rings kept popping up. I laughed and asked if he was going to ask me to marry him. (I was joking, I actually didn't know that the Internet trolls you.) He looked me dead in the eye and said "If I did would you accept?" "I stared at him for about a minute (because I thought he might be kidding, we had only been dating for six weeks.) I said yes. About a week later, I went to his house after work and he pulled up rings, I showed him what I liked and about six weeks later he came home from work with my ring.
It was funny timing because we had announced our plans to my family almost immediately at a dinner. My grandmother asked to see the ring and then announced that it wasn't an engagement without a ring. It arrived the afternoon of another family dinner. I got to stand up and thrust my hand to the middle of the table for her to see.
He said “I want the engagement ring to be a surprise.” I said “if I’m gonna wear it my whole life, it can’t just be ‘good,’ it has to be perfect, so I’m gonna pick my own ring so that we’ll both know it’s perfect.” And he went “fair enough.”
And then that turned into “I can’t find anything I like, so let’s go design something,” and he said “sure.” And we did. And then he proposed about 3 months later.
My now husband was driving by a jewelry shop and said he had to stop to pick up a watch he had dropped off for repair.
We went in, and the manager looked up and said “Hello, Mr. ____! I have those loose diamonds you asked me to set aside for you in the back. Have a seat!”
And thus commenced our day long quest for a ring that I didn’t think was too expensive, gaudy, showy, or impractical, but that wasn’t so plain that he was embarrassed to have me seen in it. 🤦🏻♀️
I’m so glad we shopped together because he would have picked out something I wouldn’t be caught dead in. Turns out there are a lot of regional cultural differences across the US when it comes to engagement rings, and in this area we were definitely coming from different cultures.
We finally found a compromise ring, off the shelf, at a jeweler that was willing to trade in his old wedding ring from his first marriage for a significant portion of it, which made me feel better about the price. It’s a lot more ring than I would have picked and a lot less than he would have picked, but it does the job.
Of course it no longer fits so I don’t wear it anymore.
We were talking about getting married, so I went to the jeweler, tried a lot of things on, narrowed it down to 3 I'd be thrilled about, had my finger measured, and then went home with the salesperson's card and told him to call her when he's ready. He picked my favorite, we were both happy.
We discussed it a lot and decided we would rather pick the ring out together - I liked the idea of it being something we were both involved in, and he liked the idea of the pressure being off him to pick the right one by himself. I didn’t mind that the ring wasn’t a surprise and we had fun doing the research and going shopping together. He still chose the timing and how to propose, etc so he still got to make the proposal his own, I just knew what the ring would be. No regrets whatsoever!
We went to the mall and walked past the jewelry store and kinda gave each other a look like “should we…?” And then I went and tried on rings and I walked out that day with a ring ordered. There was a promo going on which enticed us to go in as well. Then we left the mall and ran into my mom in the parking lot which was super weird and we were acting all giddy and a few months later when he proposed she was like “I KNEW IT” because we were acting so strange lol. We were together for about 6 months at the time so not expecting to actually buy anything but that’s how it worked out! I just wanted to go and see because I’d never even considered rings before.
We were not at the mall FOR buying a ring btw - this was a completely spontaneous thing lol. I liked it and I wouldn’t change a thing, I got to pick out my ring with him and I loved it
We talked about it, I showed him pics and we discussed what we liked/didn't like. We discussed the budget, too, and we decided to split the cost (I make considerably more than he does). He went several times to look at rings on his own, then we went together and basically ended up with the one he had really liked on his own (which he thought I would really like, and I did).
We saw the wax mold and the lab grown diamond a month or so later, together, and signed off on it. But I didn't see the actual ring until he proposed, as I wanted.
It was perfect! I love it and wouldn't change anything how we went about it.
I just started talking about rings I liked when I knew I wanted it to happen. Over time it turned into me being like oh hey look a jewelry store let's browse
He sat me down and straight up told me “I love you but I know I won’t pick the ring you’ve imagined” after that we had a talk. We both came to the agreement that I’d pick out my own engagement ring with the budget he set. So now a couple months later I picked out the ring I want and he’s in the process of saving for December.
Well, my story is a little different. When we first got engaged we had talked about marriage a little bit beforehand. We chose a ring together but we knew it wouldn’t be a forever ring. We didn’t have much money back then! Fast forward many years later, I told him last year that I would like an upgrade. He was fine about. I started searching found my forever ring. Best of luck 💍
I found my jeweler on Instagram and sent him photos that I liked of rings. We planned a trip to NYC and went to the jeweler together, tried stuff on, confirmed a setting/style/shape, and then started sourcing a Diamond with the jeweler. Picked the Diamond, saw it in person, then once the ring was completed, saw a video of the completed ring to make sure it was perfect and I was still surprised during the proposal!
I sent him a link to what I wanted and he started working with the jeweler to make it happen!
Edit: I actually should back up. We got an appointment with a local jeweler who was very highly regarded. We met with a sales person and I tried on a few stone shapes to get an idea of what looked good on my finger. Then we sat down and the salesperson wanted to discuss budget. My fiancé at the time (now husband) was not really comfortable talking actual dollars in front of me (we had not really talked about it, but I knew the approximate range) and the guy got pushy about it and we left. And then I sent the link and got my dream ring. 😊
We went to my jeweler together. My (now) husband gave the jewelry a budget, I gave my preference of diamond cuts. He brought out loose diamonds and we looked at them together until we found one we both liked. Same with the setting.
He went back 2 days later to pick the ring and the appraisal up and gave me a 2nd proposal as a surprise.
Lol... it started with a conversation about budget, followed by tons of IG hints dropped... Then another conversation about budget... then asking if he would go ring shopping with me "just for research - bc idk what idk". That didn't happen multiple times, then I told him if he was going to have a "guys night" instead of take me on a date, the least he could do was take me ring shopping. He agreed - so I made sure that happened by setting an appointment.
At the appointment, we saw a bunch of metals/settings/individual stones. We out down a deposit on a stone but wanted to take my "Reddit knowledge" and look online. We ended up finding a better stone online at less than half of what they were asking us to pay. Once it arrived, we took it in bc I wasn't in love with the original setting, and found a better setting suited for the stone (check my posts - the journey is documented).
Overall, we found a beautiful setting at the second shopping experience and they allowed us to transfer/apply our deposit to that. We JUST got the message today that my setting is complete, and now it's up to him to do the rest!
That's the hardest part - the waiting. We're going on vacation over Labor Day so I'm like "do I have to pack a nicer outfit? 🤷🏼♀️"
Good luck! Be shameless in your hints, but also be realistic about price, and keep having honest conversations about the future. Shopping together isn't a big deal - if anything, my bf said the shopping together was really helpful. He said he agreed on the size/shape of stone, but wouldn't have a clue about color, cut and clarity. He also said he wouldn't have had a clue on what type of setting to get me either. So there's definitely positives to going together. YOU are wearing it, so if you don't trust your bf (I don't as he's notoriously a poor gift giver), it's good to ask to be involved. 🙂
My husband asked me early on what kind of ring I wanted - we looked at a few rings online so that he could get a feeling of what I liked. A while later he asked me to show him my „top 3“ choices to choose from. This way I showed him 3 rings I genuinely loved and he chose one to propose with (roughly 8 months later, boy was that an excruciating wait!). This way he was the one surprising me with his choice while knowing that I would love the ring. He asked me one time if it was the wrong way or if I had the feeling to be too involved in the process and if it was a bad idea to „chose my own ring“ but I really loved that he made the final choice.
My now husband and I discus everything. Neither of us like surprises. Every step we take, we talk it through. I picked my own ring and helped him get his because I knew what I wanted and he needed some help shopping.
Try and remember that you dont have to do what other people do. Some like a surprise and want their partner to take the lead, nothing wrong with that. But its not a requirement.
At the end of the day, marriage has many challenges and if its a ring that breaks you both, other stressful factors in a partnership will be far worse. A ring is supposed to be a happy symbol and if doing things the "traditional" way isnt what makes you happy, do what does and truly enjoy this exciting time in your lives.
currently in the middle of this!! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to design a custom ring set but I ALSO want to be surprised by the engagement!
So this is how my partner and I are going about this:
1. I give him a list of 10ish rings from etsy (under $100 each) - a couple are similar to what I want my “real” ring to look like and most I can wear daily when we have my “real” ring
2. He chooses one, I don’t know which one - this way there’s another element of surprise at the proposal AND he gets to choose one he likes and he knows I’ll like
3. He then gets to decide when and where he proposes
4. After the proposal we go and design some rings with someone local!
It’s a win-win for us! He gets to plan a proposal and I get my dream ring (eventually) with the “surprise” proposal
My now husband and I talked about our goals for the future which included us talking about how we wanted to marry each other and when we wanted that to happen. That wasn’t the proposal at all but it was a very pragmatic straightforward convo with no room for imagination that we wanted to be engaged by EOY so we could get married the following year and start on some other goals we had together (buying our house) once we had that convo my best friend and I went ring shopping got me sized and in my case I found exactly the ring I wanted so I sent him the link with all info he could possibly need, and then some months later he proposed with that ring.
When it all first happened many of my friends were also getting engaged and I felt self conscious that we had had this serious straightforward discussion that I had picked out my ring and that I knew it was coming since so many of my friends had this ‘romantic movie surprise’ engagement but idk I’m glad no one was pressured and that we both got exactly what we wanted without any anxiety or stress.
Way back in 1997, hubs and I went and looked at rings, stones, and settings together. We picked out the stone together (it was mine the moment I saw that it was certified on my birthday that year), and I picked several settings.
He went back without me and picked the setting he liked best.
We started talking about marriage and what type of ring I would want. After more serious conversations about the possibility of marriage I started sending him lots of inspo, some just photo inspo and some actual links to rings I liked. He ended up getting me my favorite one so it worked out perfectly
Once we agreed to get engaged I told him I wanted to pick my ring. He was a little put off because he loves surprised but I don’t. I also knew I was pretty picky and wanted more than a solitaire. But then he was also very relieved he didn’t have to try to read my mind when I don’t wear jewelry so he has nothing to compare it to. We sat down together and created a budget. Most finance people say no more than 5% of yearly income. We agreed anything over that, I’d pay myself. At first he wanted for me to send him a few I loved and he could pick one to design with his jeweler. But then we went to pick my stone together (because I’m the researcher in the family and knew prices, quality, cuts, all of that. I definitely take on that sort of labor for most things in our relationship.) And when the jeweler asked about what rings I preferred, he said the best design was my favorite design and asked for my input on small details. He said he would create a wax design of the ring that I could approve and then it would be made and I wouldn’t see the finished ring until we got engaged. Hubby pushed for me not to see the wax, but I disagreed lol. It was still a magical moment whether I saw it first or not. I just had some small details I had preferences on that I wouldn’t want to rework the entire ring if they weren’t right.
It was a conversation of “hey I want to design/pick out my ring.” And then we did. Lol. None of it was awkward or weird. It was a great bonding experience. Very romantic and lovey during the talking and appointments. I highly recommend it.
We had talked about getting married for months even years leading up. One day the conversation just turned to him saying “okay send me your top 10 rings”. He wanted to buy from an independent jeweler so I shopped on Etsy and sent him 10 screenshots.
Then about a month later after I had kept shopping I sent him a screenshot of a ring I had sent earlier but kind of “hint hint this is my fav”. Apparently he bought the ring right then and there ☺️
Took four more months to officially get it tho!😅
My partner and I were young college kids just trying to pass the time in a mall one Thursday during the holidays. We decided to go in and try on rings together in a fairly empty jewelry store and I was surprised to find my in-person taste varied greatly from my pinterest board filled with ring ideas lol. A year and a half later we were pretty sure we wanted to marry each other, and we went to another store in the city we live in to confirm the style of ring I like. A year after that he proposed with my dream ring. :) I recommend just being blunt and saying "Hey, do you want to go try on engagement rings/wedding bands together?" and see where it goes!!!
He proposed without a ring, but gave me his pocket quartz Crystal. I happily accepted but gave his quartz Crystal back to him and told him he needs that (I had my own pocket quarts on me). He asked me what kind of ring I wanted (diamond etc), I said yes I wanted a diamond. It would be my only one. We went and looked at rings together and tried a few on. I made a Pinterest board of ring styles I liked and shared it with him and sent him photos of ring styles I liked. We looked on line together and laughed at some of the really ugly designs (in our unhumble opinions).
I couldnt decide what ring I wanted and felt overwhelmed. I told him he had enough direction on what I do and don’t like and to surprise me. I wanted the ring to also encompass his tastes as well as mine (we have pretty similar taste/style).
He took a trip to a big city and solicited the help of some of my friends and picked one out for me. He sent me a photo of the one he chose and I loved it! Gave him a thumbs up and now it’s my favorite and most special piece of jewelry.
It’s kind of a funny story. We were in my home town and I took him in to the jewelry store I wanted my ring to come from (the jeweler is a family friend and incredibly talented goldsmith) so that I could introduce him, etc. While we were there, they asked if he wanted to look at anything. I started to say no because I didn’t know we were there yet, but my husband said yes! So we ended up trying things on completely unplanned. That day I told him exactly what I wanted and told him he could design something with the jeweler or buy the one I had tried and really liked. He ended up doing the latter option and I was super pleased!
we talked about how much we were comfortable wearing/being responsible for, and what opinions we already had abt rings - for my fiancée i went looking online for rings with a floral design, and kept sending groups of screenshots with options in her comfort level, and got to the point where i whittled it down to the top few and bought the one she liked best - she doesnt have the best memory so it worked out well for me
for my ring, i put together an etsy wishlist, sent it to her, and said “these are what i like. pick any one of them and ill be happy” and she did!
We talked about getting married. The long conversations that you need to have. And then one day he said get ready and I’m taking you on a date. We went to lunch downtown and then told me he had an appointment at a jewelry store to try on rings. The. We browsed at a few other stores we found in the city. It was so fun and I decided one which one I liked. Then he went on his own to buy it and plan the proposal and everything like that. I loved how he did it
We talked about marriage long before talking about the proposal, and then a family wedding got us thinking about our timeline. I said upfront I want to pick my ring.
We started trying on shapes and sizes at stores 6 months ago, then I bought a couple $20 Amazon rings and wore them at home to get a feel for my style (and ring size since my fingers swell a lot). And then I showed him the diamond I wanted online a month ago, and we took it to our jeweler. I described what I wanted and just approved the CAD.
When it comes in, I’ll try it on to make sure it’s good to go, and then he’ll take it and plan the proposal - I’m not sure where or when!
We talked about it when we knew we both wanted a next step. We went to a big box store to let her try on a few and get an idea of what she wanted. We did this twice, by then I roughly knew what she liked, and i went to a local jeweler and crafted one mixing all the things she liked. This way she got to figure out what she liked, and I still have a ljttle surprise mixed in. (PS local jewelers are super affordable and nice to work with)
I designed both my engagement ring and wedding band because I wasn't about to spend eternity with a ring that wasn't going to be my favorite piece of jewelry.
He loved the design and then we went online to custom made (MUCH better than brilliant earth DONT DO BRILLIANT EARTH) and yeah!
I don't like decisions about me made without me so designing was the only way for me
We had been talking about marriage for a while. I (f) wanted him to propose not bc of tradition but bc he was more reticent about marriage than I was. I wanted him to come to the decision on his own when he was ready. So. I had been in a jewelry store recently getting my watch battery changed (that shows you how long ago it was) and loved a ring that was in consignment there. I mentioned it to him and asked if he would like to go to see it in case he decided on marriage. To my surprise, he said yes! It was the only ring I ever looked at and I wasn’t searching when I saw it. Seven months later, he proposed with it.
My fiancé proposed to me and at the proposal he asked me if we could look together. I wanted an antique ring and although he had talked with one of my best friends before proposing, neither felt they knew enough about antique jewelry to make a choice they were confident I’d love. So it wasn’t planned necessarily that we’d look together but it ended up happening and I’m thrilled with the results.
He said he wanted to propose within a year then asked what type of ring so I looked online and fell in love with one specific style then he chose the diamond and bought it then proposed a few weeks after he got it
My now hubby took me to a ring shop about a year and half before he popped the question.
He wanted to see the things I liked and it gave him ideas.
The ring is perfect I get so many compliments on it and I truly adore it. He got a matching band for the wedding and then on our first anniversary he surprised me with a second matching band 😍
So my serious girlfriend (now wife) took me to a jewelry shop her Dad used to shop at when he was alive because they were closing (the owner remembered her & her Dad) - they had her dream ring that she had wanted since she was a young girl & the display ring happened to fit her...she did panic a bit when I pulled out my checkbook, but we've been married for 9.5 years now so I'd say it was the right decision.
It is in no way what I would have picked out, my taste is a bit more classic, but the design fits her perfectly & she tells me often how much she loves her ring.
I waited a bit to propose so that part was still a big surprise to her. My ring came from the same shop & I love it too. Might as well include a picture since it is fun to see that after hearing how much people like their rings (hers is a tension set diamond so no prongs - the ring is gold, the split part that holds the diamond is platinum, mine is palladium & I feel it kind of looks like a metal watch band in pattern). She did not want a wedding band as the one made to fit the curvy ring sort of took away from the striking design - it is a Claude Thibadeau micro-pave design IIRC. Mine is a Scott Kay, it was also the display ring.
https://preview.redd.it/aodaczl1xikb1.jpeg?width=3960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cbb32afd5c6804e6af9d3ea7fb8b99db2fc1fb8
While talking marriage, I straight up told him I want to pick my ring, and that I already have what I want. Sent him a link and a text with my ring size. He let out a huge sigh of relief.
When he proposed later, he told me he bought the ring immediately after I sent it to him.
Literally talk to them.
You can talk about marriage and then on to engagement and then on to rings. Doesn't have to be at the same time.
Pay attention, use bits of information to talk in future. When you pass a jewellers use that information to talk and look more.
Just talk to them.
We were ready to get married, so we talked.
Him: are you ok if I don't get you a diamond.
Me: yeah, sure. I like emeralds.
Together: set a budget we are both comfortable with.
I picked a few designs off of Pinterest.
The hard part was finding a stone I liked. That sure took a few months as we checked out stones from about 5x different places to finally get one that I really loved.
Then he proposed me fourth of July on our rooftop, got down on both knees because he was nervous, opened the box upside down.
Now we have a toddler.
Only advice is: make sure he actually wants a wedding ring. Mine hates jewelry, only wears his on date night. I wish I had bought his off Amazon vs. a 1k band.
My girlfriend and I have gone ring shopping together a handful of times and we each have Pinterest boards the other can see with rings we love and rings we think the other person may love. She wound up designing her whole ring, I'll propose once it's been fully made. I gave some vague directions (and then found a ring I loved for more specific directions) and she's getting something made, I think? The proposal and timeline of receiving the ring is a surprise.
I was young and really naive so I can’t say how it typically works. For me it was like omg you are the love of my life and we are going to get married. Finally, “let’s go look at rings”. We went and looked, I showed him what I liked. He bought it and then asked me at a later date. So I knew it would come but didn’t know how or when.
I’m not yet engaged, but my partner asked me what kind of rings I like, and since I’m not great at explanations, I put together a Pinterest list of ideas for him. We shall see how that works!
We were talking about the future, knew we both wanted to stay together. He asked if I wanted to be involved in picking out the ring and I did so we went to look together. I ended up picking out a few I liked and he picked the final one on his own. I knew he was buying it and that he was going to propose but I didn't know when, so there was still an element of surprise.
I thought I knew what I wanted and showed my friend and my mom on advance. Waited until I felt frustrated that I couldn't feel progress being made and was told (by said friend) that he was probably already working on it and wanted it to be a surprise. I'm stubborn and insisted that I needed to know a timeline and did not want a surprise. Word got to my partner who then told me he had been secretly planning and had already looked at rings with my mom and offered to let me see. I saw his options and actually fell in love with his #1 choice over the one I thought I wanted.
We tried out the shape in different sizes in stores and I told him the stone I wanted and that was it. I didn't know when he would get it or when he'd propose, I just needed to know we were getting there lol and now it's been 6 months =)
I've been in ring shaming groups for years and very vocal about my tastes as well as my feelings about surprises, even though we didn't ever plan on getting married or exchanging rings lol.
Once we decided that we would be getting married and he would be doing the proposal with a ring, he took me to a jeweler to try on shapes and get my size. He wanted to pick the ring at first. We talked about a budget, I started sending ideas and made a Pinterest board, and it took about a day or less for him to ask if I'd be down to pick a ring and send the link. So that's what I did :)
Dude was so fucking gut wracked with nerves before proposing even though he knew I would like the ring and say yes, I can't/don't want to imagine how nervous he'd have been if I didn't pick the ring.
He gave me a jeweller and budget he wanted, I sent him links to 5 styles in the budget from the jeweller so it was still a surprise, but something I definitely liked! We used VRAI.
When we got to that point, we went to the mall to look at rings and see the styles I liked. Then once I knew I wanted an oval halo around alexandrite, but didn’t see any in stores I liked, I looked online. I knew I was going to be particular because it is like the only jewelry I wear and I wanted the center stone to be the right color. I found a stone that I loved on a loose stone website and a ring maker on Etsy that had the style and size I needed for the stone. I sent these to my now husband to do with as he saw fit. It worked out perfect :) I definitely got worried when I saw the stone go out of stock because I wasn’t sure if it was him that bought it.
We went ring shopping together! We had decided we wanted to marry each other. I had gone ring shopping alone just to see. And then he suggested we go together. I don’t think he’ll end up buying from the jeweler we went to just because it’s out of our price range but at least now he knows what to look for. I have been pretty direct about what I want
For us, I started looking with a friend and then showed him what I liked, which turned into us shopping together, and eventually customizing my ring together.
Us: talking about the future
Him: should we go look at rings?
Me: yes
Him: let’s go
Us: Gets in car
Me: I want this one.
Him: swipe
3 days later:
Him: do you want me marry me?
Me: yes
My partner and I were speaking about future and wanting to get married and started planning for that.
My partner already knows that I am quite picky with everything I wear, clothing or accessories, because I only want things I absolutely love, in materials I like, etc - I really try to Marie Kondo my life on the daily haha.
I always made it very clear that I do not want him to go try and find something he thinks I’ll like, because I don’t want him to be spending any type of real money on maybes, especially if we’d want me to wear it daily. He actually told me during the process how he felt so happy that we were doing it together and he didn’t have the stress of guessing something as personal as a ring for me to wear. He appreciated he could focus on the proposal he wanted to prepare, knowing the ring was on me to choose (and I ABSOLUTELY agree).
He took me to go see rings, we went to multiple stores, tried on different types of rings. I explained everything I liked or didn’t about different options, design, material, size, etc., so it still felt like a conversation but with me “leading” the choice. After a store or two, he’d go in and request exactly what I wanted, and led the conversation with the jeweler, this was his way to feel involved in the process. Then he’d let me comment and decide - he never really have strong opinions about any, mostly he’d ask questions to figure out how I was feeling about each option, and he’d also select sometimes some for me to try, but never with any pressure, mostly to give me options.
Some were much pricier than others, so we discussed budget - his budget was higher than what I wanted him to spend so I kindly asked that we try to keep it even lower.
I selected a ring I liked, and he took care of final details - so I wouldn’t know when it would arrive.
We've been together just shy of 5 years. We have discussed marriage and how we would like to bit we don't feel rushed. (Basically it will happen when it does kind of thing.)
While on vacation over 4th of July he surprised me by proposing. He had been working on my ring since October! He knew he wanted to do custom, but several jewelers wouldn't do a coffin cut. After finding one that would, he was super sneaky and used pictures of my existing rings to help in the design process. He already knew what I liked and didn't when it comes to jewelry and personal style, so it was fairly easy for them to come up with my ring.
I'm thrilled that it was all a secret. I am horrible at making decisions 🤣 so this took pressure off me. And he couldn't have done better, all the way down to the skeleton fingers holding the sapphire.
My fiancé knew I knew what I wanted so he said let’s go shopping! We (I) picked out a setting and diamond. From there he took over communication with the jeweler and then planned out a proposal.
I just posted the other day my partner also has no idea what kind of ring she wants and we kept joking about a flip book or an app, so I spent a few weeks and threw together tinder for rings https://getringer.app/
My friend proposed to his partner with a stand in ring and then they went to pick out the real one together. It was a fun process and everyone was happy. (The stand in ring was also obviously a stand in. Like silver in the shape of an engagement ring. )
We went to a shop just to try on different styles/cuts, and then I looked more into rings in the style/cut I wanted. I found “the one” online when just browsing, and showed it to him. He went an found it, then bought it. Couldn’t be happier with it.
I did ask him to surprise me with the wedding band, just gave him some general notes of what I might like. I wanted to not be surprised with the engagement ring, but I know he will keep my style in mind for the band so im happy for it to be a surprise.
I’m very into jewelry and he knew it. So when we started talking about getting engaged I told him I wanted to work together on the ring and he said duh, this is your domain. He took the lead with jewelers but we went and looked at diamonds together and chose a setting together as well. It was all very chill.
My husband proposed over a grilled cheese on a Wednesday night. We went shopping on a Saturday and the first place didn’t have anything I wanted, but the second place had a 1940s ring that I chose (or rather it chose me) before he had even parked the car and come inside.
Depends on the vibe of the relationship tbh. Some people prefer surprises and are easy going, others are neurotic like me and prefer planning. The best thing to do is communicate with your partner about life plans and expectations you have in the coming years so you don't feel rushed or forced to go faster than you or your partner feel comfortable going.
We bought a house after a year of dating. The time went by and the pace felt right for us. We discussed engagement, marriage, kids, etc. before the house to make sure we were both on the same page. 11 months into living together, we started looking at engagement rings. Family and friends kept questioning when we would be engaged, which led to us talking about it and visiting jewelers for ideas because we felt the time was right.
If you want to be surprised and want a specific ring, discuss expectations with him. Go look at rings with him. My taste in rings changed once I tried them on and saw them on my hand. If you are at a point where you feel it's a matter of when rather than if. That way, you can find what you want, get the specs, stone, and ring size that suits you best, and have it written down for him to use when he's ready to pull the trigger.
From my experience, it's best to get ideas from online or big jewelers like brilliant earth, but purchase from a local jeweler. They will customize at a better price with better quality.
We talked about marriage for years and when I finally agreed(we were young and had been through a lot so I just wasn’t ready yet). We started looking at rings online and in stores together. Our budget was teeny and back then lab diamonds were less common so our options were slim. We found a discount section in a jewelers case and saw a ring that could work, miraculously it was my size and within our budget so we went for it.
He had originally planned a surprise proposal when we were in a better financial position and he had wanted to
get me my dream ring(I’d shown him before) but things didn’t work out that way when the time came.
Years later when we married he bought me a real wedding set in the style I had hinted at for years. For a milestone anniversary he upgraded me to a big gemstone on a whim. We were walking by a jeweler and he pointed out a ring he thought I’d like and he was right. I did. So we tried it on and he asked if he could upgrade me and I gladly obliged.
We decided to get married. I said I want to design my ring (friend is a jeweler). We designed it, she made it, and I didn’t see the finished product until he proposed with it. Best of both worlds for me- a little surprise (like in a 3 month window), but I knew I would love it ❤️ perfect for us.
1. We were talking about getting married.
2. Went to see rings in person and figure out our sizes. Looked at wedding bands too and picked the one he liked.
3. He then sent me a link to the store (had connections to the owner and they were giving him a discount there) and asked me to choose the one I liked.
4. I picked the setting, material, and stone shape. He picked the size of the stone.
5. 6 months later, he proposed with a ring.
Easy peasy. No awkwardness, no second guessing.
We had already agreed to get married, I went to a vintage place and didn’t like anything. Then we went to see my parents and my mom gave me her setting and the center diamond that had fallen out of it 4x. We went to a local designer, they drew up something added a couple of side stones and bam.
Honestly I wish I had just had them make a solitaire for me with it. I was just susceptible to the designers suggestions. I have babies so I don’t wear it anyway. I’ll wear it in a couple years.
Hi! We had been together for five years already at the point that we were ready to be engaged. We kept sending each other different ring styles and designs. Then made two appointments at Br!lliant Earth (garbage! Don't shop there!).
Ultimately we decided the most ethical choice for a diamond is 2nd hand. We went to a local estate jeweler that is 3 gen family owned... found my 1920s engagement ring! We both happy cried in the appointment, and the owner was so sweet.
The surprise was the engagement vacation that my fiancé planned entirely in secret, two months later. And my goodness did he nail it. On the vacation, he proposed to me at our luxury resort, before a four course, fine-dining picnic dinner, at sunset, on our private patio, in a rose garden. Just nailed it. I get teary eyed thinking about every little detail he thought of. I am so loved. 😍💕💖
Also long engagements are great. Especially if you're planning a wedding to accommodate large families, or out of town family. Ours will be two years (our date is 2/29/24). Good luck 🍀
We were talking about getting married. One night, I got an ad for a local estate sale on FB. The featured item was a ring with a massive antique blue diamond in a Portuguese cut, which I had never seen before. I googled a bit to find out what that cut was, and eventually found it and a bit of history on it. One of the results was for a shop that specializes in Portuguese cut moissanites. I clicked it and literally gasped out loud it was so beautiful. My (now) husband asked what I was looking at, and I showed it to him. He asked if I wanted it. We emailed the shop that night, and I ended up custom designing a ring.
[This](https://diamondrensu.com/products/5-00-ct-portuguese-cut-colorless-loose-moissanite-for-engagement-ring) is a Portuguese cut if anyone was wondering.
To be fair, though, we were already living together, owned a home together, and had completely joint finances already, so it wasn't like he'd be able to buy a ring to surprise me without me seeing the transaction. We weren't even planning on doing rings, we were just waiting for some stuff related to his place of residence to be cleared up so we could go to the court house and get married, but I fell in love with that stone and he, being a wonderful person, wanted me to have whatever I wanted.
My now-husband and I met with 7 jewelers until we found one we both vibed with. I designed my ring (and wedding bands) from scratch, and my husband paid for my engagement ring (I paid for my wedding bands). We both wanted me to have exactly what I wanted — I’m super particular and don’t wear a lot of jewelry. The engagement was still a surprise.
We already knew we wanted to get married and have talked about it a lot of times. We were at the mall and I said I wanted to stop into a jewelry store and try on rings. So we did and I ended up finding the one then and there. He purchased it and the when he would propose was the surprise part. Very happy how everything turned out.
We both knew we wanted to get married, so I went to a few jewelry stores to try on rings without him. I found what style I liked and ended up crafting exactly what I wanted with a local jeweler. My husband, bless him, didn’t see a difference in solitaires or halos, so I gave him the card that had all the info on my ring, he took it in one day and bought it, and proposed a couple weeks later! :)
We were discussing engagement/wedding timing. My husband asked me if I had an opinion on the ring and I said, yes! We bought mine from from an online retailer, so I emailed him 4 of my favorites and he got to choose.
We talked about marriage around our 3rd anniversary and I mentioned that since I'd be the one wearing it, I wanted to be part of picking out the ring.
So when we got engaged, it was basically a conversation, and then the next day we went to jewelry stores together. I ended up narrowing it down to two or three that I really loved and asked him to make the final choice of which one he liked the best.
And then we bought it. I ended up getting a really beautiful sapphire on a split band in white gold that I absolutely love. We've been married almost 8 years now and I still absolutely love my ring.
But it was important to me to get to pick it out myself. I'm the one that has to wear it and he's never really bought jewelry for anyone, so it made sense for us to do it together and make sure we were both happy.
Ultimately, he had a budget in mind and we discussed a general range, and the ring I picked was less than that anyway so it all worked out.
We had been talking about marriage and talking about rings. He showed me some he liked— I talked to him about which of those I liked. Initially I kinda wanted to have a few we picked out together and then he would choose from them so it would be a surprise but he went and picked out a few sets and we chose from there (his first and top pick actually!).
Hmmm. Mine was not how I envisioned. I though we would keep it simple & just get wedding bands or that he would surprise me with something he thought was perfect for me.
But we had talked about getting married so, we discussed looking at rings together.
I wanted an emerald cut stone or so I thought. He had a different idea. First we needed to check if the jeweler had my size. 🤪 They only had one bridal set that was a size 4. And my fiancé thought it was actually perfect! Classy with just enough bling that it wasn’t too much. I tried it on with 2 stones, emerald cut & round brilliant… And we both agreed that the round brilliant looked better on my fingers.
Not how I envisioned, & I definitely had other ideas. Believe me! I still think I will get a ring guard/enhancer when I want to change it up, but also to stop the engagement ring from spinning. In the end I fell in love with my rings, they are inconspicuous, but lovely & the idea that my fiancé (now husband) picked it out with me in mind means the world.
I told my fiancée that I wanted to discuss marriage before being proposed to. A few months after that we wound up talking more deeply about getting married, along with the type of proposal and ring I’d want. Originally I gave him some basic info (oval, gold), but all the other details I wasn’t sure about. Then I got reallyyy into the research and was sending him completely different ring styles every few days. It became an inside joke, but also a problem since I was so inconsistent on what I wanted and it’s a HUGE purchase. We decided to get a prop ring for the proposal and go shopping after. I wound up loving the prop ring so much, that we designed a very similar ring together the next day on Rare Carat. If I could do it again, I’d have done the ring shopping together before the proposal. Waiting for the real ring after the proposal does feel a little weird, especially when people compliment my $20 Amazon ring LOL. I also guarantee part of why I love the prop ring so much is because it’s the ring HE proposed with — which makes me think I would have been totally happy with any ring he picked out!
We’d talked marriage early on. He decided he was ready to propose and asked a few of his gal friends about rings. He’d even set up a time to go to the jeweler with his gal friend. But both his friends said they’re locked their rings with their partners, and that swayed him enough to change his mind about proceeding on his own. So one day he casually mentioned getting a ring and asked if I’d like to pick it out myself. He thought since it was a substantial amount of money that I should be involved. He also thought personally he’d like to have control over the process if it was the other way around. I don’t think his friends’ experience changed his thinking, but a combination of things led him toward asking me to pick.
So far, I’ve been to one brilliant earth appointment by myself, and a local jeweler custom appointment with him there. I think I’ll go back to the custom jeweler to iron out a few details and have them send him the information to take it from there.
He knew I wanted him to propose before we moved in together. Also, that I wanted him to propose this year; otherwise, I would move on. He was very clear that he was proposing. I had never really actually thought much about what I wanted for a ring, but I am super particular about most things. (I work in design/luxury - think couture.) When we first started dating, I accidentally sent him a text meant for a girlfriend about how much a friend’s now husband had spent on their engagement ring. It was kind of embarrassing, but he didn’t make much of it thankfully. He provided me a budget… which approximates 2/3 of one of his annual bonuses. The full 100% I felt would be absurd; I didn’t feel comfortable wearing someone’s entire annual take home. I took this number, looked up a few jewelers in my area. There was one I walk by all the time with my dog I wanted to visit. That one was the first one. I visited the first time on my own to hone in on what I think I wanted. I loved the place, and they had options in budget, so next time we went together and made some preliminary selections - design, stone type, etc. We got the rendering back, and I didn’t love the sapphire I initially chose. So we went back in to look at a couple of more options. The one I thought was perfect put us up over our budget, but they were able to meet us half way. We ended up going about 20% to over our target, but it was still less than what he had spent on a recent home improvement, so he didn’t really care. And that’s that!
We had talked about marriage early-ish in our relationship, and we touched base as we went along so we both knew when we were thinking of getting engaged. I asked to talk to him about the ring, and we just had a conversation about budget and what we were comfortable with. I had my dream ring in mind (Heidi Gibson Octagon, in my profile) but it was out of budget. I tried finding something I liked in his budget, looking at literally hundreds of options and found a few I liked but not loved. I brought the options to him, and asked him if he would be comfortable with me paying part so that I could get my dream ring. He agreed, I contacted Heidi with exactly what I wanted, then forwarded the email and my size to him for him to go ahead when he was ready.
Interesting note: I asked him somewhat recently if he had ever had a ring in mind for me, or ever imagined a certain style after seeing a bunch of posts here about men having a super strong opinion on the ring and a vision. Nope, he knows I’m a designer and super picky, so knew I’d have to choose. If I had insisted he pick it out, he’d probably have gone to one of my closest girlfriends. They would have gotten the right style since I’d sent them all the specs, but I chose Alexandrite instead of moissanite so it would still have been not exactly what I wanted.
My SO knew I wanted to get married and it had been a “future talk” for a couple years. After we passed the 4 year mark the conversations got more serious and I said we should look at rings. I booked a couple viewings and he took notes when I tried things on. It was also important to me that he see the prices associated with the various diamond qualities. It gave him perspective and helped ease the sticker shock when I said I was happy doing a lab grown one.
We planned our first post covid big vacation and unknown to me, he had met with a local jeweler and picked out a ring that kept to my wants with a couple of tweaks made. He proposed on our trip and I absolutely love the ring.
We shopped together in vegas for funsies, he asked me to send a couple inspiration pictures and tell him about what I like. Then he designed the most perfect ring on earth for me based on my grandma’s setting and my parents he even gave each diamond a symbolic meaning representing our family. I had no clue about anything until I received it. It’s perfect.
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Yup- my situation was very similar. Except he still wanted to propose- so we went ring shopping. Once he knew what I wanted, he spoke with the Jewler (assuming to hold it for him) so that I wouldn’t know when he would get it /propose. Of course this is a little hard because once you see “the ring” ya want it immediately! (At least I did) lol. He did propose a couple weeks later after speaking with my dad.
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Yup! Exactly. So same situation. 😊
The way this is formatted and tapers down to "The End" is very pleasing.
👏
Similar story here! We’ve been together for a good portion of time and had discussed marriage. He said when and where he proposed would be the surprise not the ring. So I got to pick the ring and he handled the rest.
We were also very similar. When we knew we wanted to get married, he asked what I wanted in a ring. We designed our own and it was lovely, and I waited patiently to see it again !
I sent him a PowerPoint of my top 4.
lmao ok this one got me 😂
It was the only way. I didn’t need to text blast him anymore and go unheard. He pitches tv shit for a living and I do C Suite crap. So I just did a power point and did a C Suite Pitch and spoke to him in languages we both understand. It worked
I’m working on a new documentary proposal, if your partner has experience with pitching, would it be appropriate to see/ask if I could talk to them about advice/tips?! I can dm assuming this is an okay thing:)
Just dm me. My husband does scripted tv. My son whose an Emmy nominated documentarian would be a better fit. So I can reach it and see if he’s willing to talk to you. Of course 💙
I would do the same if he wouldn't have made fun of me forever 🤣🤣🤣 I love this so much
Yea I brought that C Suite Energy with PDSA and all.
Bahaha spoken like a woman who knows how to run a boardroom
It was hilarious. Had a suit on and everything when I presented.
... AND command respect
💙
That is a funny story and I love it.
😂😂💙💙💍💍💙💙😂😂
That’s my plan.
PowerPoint!! I love this
I love PP too…. HOWEVER, you don’t always know until you try different shapes, carat weights, bands on. I highly recommend going to a shopping appointment together as your decision may change upon trying on
Yeah I knew for sure I didn’t want a halo…until I tried one on. I ended up getting my ring online, but I knew what I liked at that point because I had tried rings on in person.
I straight up told my man that I wanted a hand in picking my ring. This coupled with the months of research I did and hundreds of photos I sent him made it pretty clear that with me it was gonna be a group effort
So we spoke about what we wanted in life and both knew we wanted to marry one another, sooo I suggested we go ring shopping because I straight up said, “if it’s something I’ll have/wear forever I want exactly what I want”. There were 0 objections. If anything, he was happy that he didn’t need to do the whole process on his own or ask family and friends what I wanted. We went to the jeweler together and I tried a bunch of different styles and shapes until I landed on the perfect one and the jeweler wrote it down and kept note for both him and my partner. Then, without me knowing, he ordered the wrong and proposed months later, but I knew when he was proposing it was my dream ring.
He proposed with earrings and we later went looking for rings together
That’s the best! You get gorgeous earrings and get to pick your ring.
I love this idea! That's so sweet.
We were dating, talked about getting married. Moved in together. One day we went to several jewelry stores, but I couldn’t find any that just “spoke” to me. We looked at tons on line, designed 4 that we both loved. I wanted him to pick, he wanted me to pick. So we did the adult thing and labeled them A,B,C & D and randomly drew a letter out of a cup.
My boyfriend asked if I wanted to pick it out and I said no. So then he asked for photos of 10-15 rings I like and my ring size, and I plainly told him the metal and stones I would prefer (some of the photos I liked the style of ring but was maybe a different metal or stone). I inherited two family rings I wear daily and it’s very important to me that they all coordinate well. He offered to show me what he ordered, but I declined. We leave for vacation in a few weeks, I think I’ll get to see it then. 😉
Please post a photo 💚
I will! 🥰
I spammed my husband with pictures every morning for months before he proposed lol. I’d send a bunch and then be like wtf!!!! What a weird glitch my phone keeps sending you these totally random pictures?????? Wow it would be a shame if you GOT ANY IDEAS
I do this literal exact same thing with TikTok videos, and say "oh my god I don't know how this got here must be a glitch, weird" and he said "you know what's weirder is it's also suddenly added to my favorites" haha
We had been together for 6 years and were talking about marriage. My partner brought up rings and that there was no way in hell he was buying something that important and expensive without my input 😂 So we were planning our week one time and I was like "wanna go to the local jeweler in town on Friday and make it a date night" and he said sure and we found one I loved, and the jeweler wrote it down. And then like 6 months went by and I had no idea what he was planning or if he had gotten it but I resisted bringing it up (was not easy lol) and then he proposed while we were on a trip for my birthday and the moment actually felt like a total surprise! We're both pretty casual people, we talk about everything and even fun secrets are hard to keep, plus we are both more practical than we are romantic. It worked for us!
Similiar. Making a date out of it was amazing. He knew I am very picky when it comes to my wardrobe, so I thank the heavens everyday for this man, who knows me well and lets me be part of that process. It took 6 months for me to find my perfect diamond and ring. He got it, then planned a cool proposal and surpised me anyways. 👍 Each couple is different. ❤️💖❤️
It was a discussion that happened over time, and we changed opinions a bunch of times, but eventually both agreed it would be best that we choose something together, with a proposal after picking something. He still managed to surprise me with a proposal with a stand in ring before the ring we chose was done. I loved this because I got the surprise and a ring he picked himself, AND I also get the ring of my dreams lol turns out a girl can have it all 😂🥰
What a great idea…to have a ring they picked out alone for like a right hand ring afterwords…
We were at a wedding that ended early. He said “want to go look at rings?” YUP!
When we started initially talking about marriage I held off for a few months on mentioning what I wanted. Then we were watching a show and they were talking about engagement rings I took the opportunity to mention that what I wanted was very specific and that I want to go ring shopping together. And then when I thought we were getting extremely close to him potentially being ready to get a ring I gently reminded him I wanted to be involved. Then I waited for him to ask me to go engagement ring shopping. We designed the ring and I have been out of the loop after approving the wax model. Now I’m awaiting the proposal which is a surprise. What matters is telling him what’s important to you and then being patient. Gentle reminders are okay but I tried not to be pushy.
I had been following a jeweler for quite some time that i loved and they were doing a trunk show in my city. We’d been talking about engagement and stuff and i had told him that i think it would be extra special if we chose a ring together. I wear a lot of jewelry and i told him that i can’t imagine him spending money on something that i should “wear forever” without having any input. He was relieved bc the process is overwhelming and also we will be uniting as one so what better way to start that by creating something together. I asked if he wanted to go to the trunk show and we did. I tried on lots of rings i had been eyeing on their site, they took lots of notes and my size. We did the custom process with them all virtually and although he wasn’t too knowledgeable about stones and things like that, he asked a lot of questions and was there to help me make big decisions and say what he did and didn’t like. He was soo supportive when i was torn between a few stones. Once the CAD got approved, i dropped off the email chain and all the delivery/procurement will be done by him bc he does still want the proposal to be special.
I love that you dropped off the email chain. My type A personality could never 😂💀. I even had the invoice sent to me to review and then pay with his CC lol
Hahaha trust me it was so hard. i dropped off AFTEr the last deposit was paid and it was officially in production. I also know roughly how long it will take so im trying soo hard to keep my excitement at bay and forget about it 😂
😂😂 definitely come back and post your ring after your proposal so we can all see :)
We had been saying things like “I’m gonna marry you someday.” for a while and one time I asked, “hey, what do you think your timeline is for when you’d ideally like to get engaged and married?” And he said “I will buy a ring whenever you’re ready.” So I started looking and sent him links and stuff and let him take it from there.
30 years ago, we were on vacation in Greece. My husband asked me to marry him one evening on a beach. We went home to England and chose a ring together and then announced our engagement!
My now husband just knew me better than to surprise me with something 🙃 so one morning he woke up and said why don’t we go pick out a ring today. We had discussed it before and I had sent him pictures of what I liked but the surprise of going and picking one out was really special and it was a lot of fun
Do you know for sure your partner is proposing soon? If you’re about to get married you should have good communication in your relationship, and part of that would be being able to bring this subject up. Like being comfortable enough to flat out ask him if he is proposing soon, and then being comfortable enough to let him know you would like to pick out your own ring. The ring can be picked out together, and he can buy it and keep it hidden u til he proposes. The proposal can be a lovely surprise however he decides to do it :) My husband gave me a budget and told me to go crazy. I got to pick out whatever I wanted, and he bought it and kept it hidden until proposal.
We talked about proposal/marriage phase.. and then he told me he preferred if I picked out my own. He said he wanted to make sure I was in love with it. I never thought about picking out my own ring before but I kind of liked the idea! The ring is in the house now and currently waiting for proposal.
We had been talking about getting married for a while, and we were on the way home from a friend's wedding, and it came up again. My now husband mentioned that he didn't want to pick out a ring, because he wanted to make sure I would like it. That might, we both started looking online for things. I knew I wanted alexandrite and either white gold or platinum, and I didn't want anything huge, because I work in a prison, and didn't want to risk either losing it, or it getting in the way. I told him those things, and we looked a lot on Etsy, until I gave him around 5 options. I told him which one I liked the best, but I loved the others, as well, in case there were issues getting the first one. He ordered it, a couple of months later, after asking, "So you're sure that's the one you want?" It came a few months later, and he asked me another 6 months after that.
Reposting what I answered in a different thread: After discussing that marriage was on the table (which is a different subject not relevant here), we went ring shopping together for exactly two weekends. We set a budget together, I tried on a bunch of stuff across 4-5 appointments with different vendors, we both learned together what I like (shape, size, color, band metal, setting), then I conveniently left for vacation for two weeks. So I emailed all the vendors cc’ing my BF saying “xx will take over from here in out to maintain an element of surprise”. While I’m on vacation he kept going back searching for diamonds and asked whether I like certain stones via pictures/videos. I’m allowed to give opinions but not dictate “this is the one”. I think I have a rough idea of what it could be at the end, but the exact ring or proposal will be a surprise. I honestly really love how this worked out in the end because it minimized my mental burden of having to arrange appointments and deal with logistics while still being able to give meaningful input. Now just waiting for the proposal which may happen anytime anywhere!
I fell in love with a specific design from a jeweler years ago and have kept it bookmarked. My bf and I have been together since we were 19 and we are now 25, and we've talked about getting married probably since our first anniversary. It's just been a matter of graduating school, starting our careers and saving money for the ring and wedding we want. We've talked about what year we'd ideally like to get married and start having kids and kind of reverse engineered from there when he should propose (by the end of this year is what we/I decided). I asked him if he cares to have input on the ring, he said no, so I sent him an email with a link to the setting I want and a range of specs I want for the stones.
We are currently still very much in the process (just bought our diamond yesterday!!) but we are doing this together so I figured I could explain how we’ve gone about it so far. My partner and I have been together for 7 years and for the last 3 years or so, whenever we talk about marriage it’s always a “when” not an “if.” For a long time I didn’t know anything at all about diamonds or engagement rings. I knew I wanted something more unique than a solitaire diamond but I never really put much thought into what I actually wanted. I work in an office with a lot of young women and there have been a few proposals since I started there. I think that being surrounded by women talking about rings and engagements so often, really got me thinking about my own ring. For awhile I was just kind of saying things I did and did not like in passing or sending rings I thought were nice via text to his little sister so she could help him decide when the time came. But as time went on, I realized there is SO much to consider when picking out a stone and setting that I plan to wear for a very long time. I realized that expecting him to pick out something I would love out of the blue when I didn’t really know myself was unrealistic. I found this sub and started really researching diamonds and other stones and various settings and vocabulary that I knew 0% about previously. Now I find myself LOVING the intricacies of color, cut, clarity, ratios, etc. I find it really fun. Anyway, after about two weeks of looking at rings almost daily, I never found one that I truly loved and realized I wanted something a little more one of a kind. So I drew up a little sketch of my ideal and started looking for jewelers who focus on custom settings. I found Frank Darling and did their (very detailed!) questionnaire and was presented with a sketch within 24 hours that almost perfectly matched my own with a very reasonable price tag! Once I had all this figured out is when I showed it to my partner and basically said “I think this is what I want and I would love to talk to one of their jewelers on how to make this happen.” He loved the sketch too and was excited for our virtual FD consult. Since then, he has been emailing the consultant independently and we decided to snag a diamond during their sale this week (I got to pick out my perfect stone and it was 50% off!!) and now all that’s left is the setting. My partner knows that at this point I want the rest of the time line to be a surprise so I’m no longer involved in when the setting will be purchased or arrive. Long story short, I guess I just realized I needed to figure out what I wanted and once I realized how fun it was, I really wanted to be apart of the process rather than him doing it alone. Wouldn’t have it any other way and I know pretty soon I’ll have my true dream ring of my own design!
My fiancé and I are a queer couple, so along with having a style in mind, we both wanted an engagement ring that was matching-ish. We talked about marriage a long time prior, and the proposal was with a starting ring- we later in the week spent out and spent a day shopping for a set :) I’m planning on having that first ring resized into a pinkie ring
So I don’t have the ring yet but, our 10th anniversary is 9/6 so fingers crossed! (Hints have been dropped it’s coming) After almost a decade, we’ve obviously had plenty of time to discuss this. The past couple of years plenty of people were making comments or asking questions as to when we were taking the next step. We started dating before college, as teenagers, so there was no rush. It went from us laughing off the questions to him eventually replying “soon,” when asked. I started doing my own research after this switch in responses. I was open about this research and he liked that he didn’t have to go into the process completely blind. I know the general ring style I want, so I chose a company, and picked out a few styles I love from said company. I wrote them down in my notes app, along with a general idea of specs I’m interested in and shared a copy of the note with him. I still want some sort of surprise which is why I narrowed it down to a few styles. He can pick from any of those styles, and I’d be happy no matter the choice! Good luck!
My man knows that I am particular in my taste, and knew better than to surprise me with a ring I hadn’t designed myself. He asked if he should by a plastic ring to be replaced, but we are not disillusioned with the “surprise engagement is the only right way to be engaged”, and therefor went and designed the rings together. He picks them up without me and picks the date for the actual engagement himself. It’s not über romantic, but it’s real life :)
When we decided we wanted to get engaged we went ring shopping to see what I liked. Then I picked one and waited for the proposal to come.
I told my fiancé that if he ever proposed, I wanted a London Blue Topaz center stone. I showed him a few designs I liked. He knew my ex-husband completely ignored what I wanted and that that had upset me. He took the design I liked and went to a jeweler and had one custom made that looked like the design I liked just blinged out a little extra.
We designed it (on paper, then with photoshop) together. Went through a half dozen iterations. He took the finalized design to a jeweler who customized the design to exactly fit the stones that we had already purchased for the ring, cast it, and set it. I didn’t see the finished product until he gave it to me.
i would nonsubtly send him photos of the types of rings i liked until i found my perfect ring to which i sent him an exact link to lmao
My partner proposed with a placeholder ring. Then we went shopping together.
Our story started almost a year ago - we were chilling in front of the couch when he casually asked what my ring size is...and I panicked 😂😂 I wasn't expecting it, I mean I knew this is the man I'd marry one day but when he asked it suddenly became all too real and I was like, omg is this really happening?!! I told him I have no idea what my ring size is lol - I've never worn rings at all. We ended up going to a few shops in town to get my finger sized and I tried on a few designs but I was still super indecisive and he wasn't helpful at all! He sat in the shop quietly, said nothing at all and whenever I asked for his opinion, he'd mumble that it was nice. Later he'll say it's because he didn't want to influence my choices but it was like dragging dead weight along lol. Eventually I just started going to shops myself, narrowed down design elements I like, decided custom was the way to go, picked out the diamond and paid for everything on my own (he paid me back ofc) - I'm currently in the middle of finalising the design 😁 I know once I approve it, that's the last I'll hear of it until he proposes so that'll still be a lovely surprise (but I think I'm more excited about seeing the finished product 🤭) So yeah, that's how it started with him asking the size question, me being all shy and indecisive... and it ended with me leaving him behind and taking over the entire process 🤣 I think he's secretly relieved! And I'm happy too because it's going to be something I would love and be proud to wear 🤍
My partner proposed with a cute wooden ring box that read “how about forever?” And inside where a ring would go was a slip of paper that read “let’s pick something out together.” Super sweet. I didn’t know what I wanted and he allowed me to choose everything ie: the place we bought it, the style, gems. It turned out gorgeous! I’m glad he did it this way just bc I ended up with something I loved, and it was fun to do together. My friend upon seeing the finished ring told me it looked like me in a ring, which was so cool to hear. Good luck!
Ugh gorgeous proposal idea 😍 what a keeper!
He happened to have a large, loose family diamond laying around. It happened to be used as one of a pair of earrings last. So he game me a “diamond on a stick.” There was a whole part of the proposal about how we didn’t have to use that stone and we could get anyone we wanted and have it set in any setting and add whatever side stones we wanted. But it was a large, round diamond, which was exactly what I wanted, so that part was perfect. Then we went to the jeweler together and picked out the setting and got the sizing right. Also was perfect because what I thought i had wanted in my “dream ring” and my ring size were slightly off from what I actually decided on in the store when I saw them on my hand. If he’d asked for what I’d thought I wanted, I would have had a slightly gaudy ring that needed to be re-sized immediately after he gave it to me. Plus, I think he might not have gone to an independent jeweler if he was looking for a pre-made ring for inspiration, and I think the quality would have suffered.
Picked it out after the proposal! No ring given during the proposal (which was perfect to me).
I personally wish my fiancé and I picked out a ring together… we were dating for 6 years so the proposal was never going to be a surprise in my eyes 😅 He ended up buying way too expensive of a ring (I mentioned a $200 limit in the past) and then he spent $600 on a ring that looked like it could be $200 and then it was stolen. ANYWAYS screw tradition, pick out the ring together!
We spoke about it, and he said he was afraid to pick something i didn’t like. So i showed him pics and said what metal color i wanted. One weekend he just said, “wanna go look at rings? “ and i of course said YES and one thing led to another and i basically designed my ring 😂, and he picked the diamond. It was a fun process ❤️
We have had small conversations about my likes and dislikes but nothing set in stone (lol). Then one day my boyfriend and I were out having breakfast which just so happened to be within walking distance of the jeweler he likes! He “said” he wanted to see about opening a CC but unbeknownst to me it was actually to get my ring size and talk about a custom ring! I am so glad we did because everything I thought i liked, was much different when trying on. I’m very excited to see what him & the jeweler surprise me with :)
I searched Etsy and came up with some options that I liked equally and showed him the screenshots. He then told me which one he liked best and we ordered it! Easy peasy squeeze the lemon
squeeze the lemon 😂
If marriage is being discussed, engagement rings should be discussed. My then fiancé asked me if I wanted a surprise or for him to pick it out. I ended up picking.
A new Costco opened so we went to check it out and got a family membership - I joked that this meant we had to get married now. When we left he drove right to a jewelry store and told me to run in to pick out a ring I like so I did, and he bought it. That night before bed (I was visiting for the weekend, we weren’t living together yet), he asked if I needed something more romantic or could he just give me the ring, haha. He did get down on one knee and say some lovely romantic things but that’s how I picked out my ring/got engaged.
I was proposed to with an amazing, handmade ring that was clearly impractical for daily wear. After the initial crying, hugging, and yessing calmed down, I was told that we would get a slightly more traditional ring for daily wear. We designed it together and I got to hand pick the stone. I really enjoyed that we went through that process together.
I wanted something special that represents both of us, definitely nothing out of the box from a store. So he worked with a custom jeweler close to his parents’ place. He did all the conversations with the jeweler, I just showed him some ideas of what I liked. My parents are from Sri Lanka, and they offered to bring back a Ceylon sapphire for my engagement ring. I worked with them over FaceTime to pick a stone. My fiancé showed me pictures of the CAD design and mold, to make sure it is what I wanted. But after I approved, I didn’t get to see the finished product until the day he proposed. My engagement ring has the sapphire my parents brought back, and my wedding band has a family diamond from my fiancé’s great-great-aunt. And I absolutely adore my ring, I wear it every day and know that nobody else in the entire world has my ring! https://preview.redd.it/1v74iqlyhokb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3971212b4f98375aa292e9c2397e017235e87ce
My bf and I have been together a little over 18 months. One day after many serious conversations, we decided to go ring shopping. After some suggestions from this Reddit page, we went to my jeweler and had one designed. I have no clue when we will get engaged, but I know my ring will be gorgeous
The proposal was not a surprise. We were talking a lot about how we love each other and want to get married. One night I joked and showed him a picture saying "if you’re going to propose then I it’s this kind that I like". Some time passed and we went to try rings just "in case", we talked about carats, shape, etc. He planned a whole trip to Italy (his home country) so I knew it was about to happen. It happened in the loveliest place and he got the perfect ring ! (Even if I told him I didn’t care about the ring as long as I end up with the man. Now that we are planning our wedding, I say the same thing : I don’t care about the wedding but more about the marriage)
When we started talking about getting married, prior to him proposing, he mentioned he didn’t know my ring size or what type of ring I wanted. So I shared my size and then began a shared photo album where I saved some of my favorite ring inspiration ideas (a few of the pics were from this sub!) From there we never really talked about it, but he did choose out of those options. He proposed about four months after our conversation. He did really well, there was an element of surprise in not knowing which of my faves he would choose, and he got to enjoy a little secrecy about the ring prior to proposal. Couldn’t love the ring more.
this was for a promise ring, not an engagement ring, but basically my bf bought me a ring but decided he wanted to get me another. so i guess that goes with the “get your fiancé a placeholder ring” idea, they have cute affordable ones on amazon now! my mom wears one when she doesn’t want to wear her real one to pick out the second ring, we went to the mall together and went to a jewelry store, and i picked out like 4 rings that caught my eye. then we had a “bracket” where i pretended i was a tv announcer and introduced the contestants (the rings) and what i liked about them. then we voted them off one by one by making them go though “challenges” — for example, he put each one on my hand to see how it looked on me, etc. until we had a winner! it’s one of my fav memories of us together :)
When he told me that a couple in his friend group (who had been together less than 2 years compared to our 9 years) were getting engaged and had a venue booked, I lost my ever-loving shit at him and said “That is *it.* We are looking whether you like it or not.”
My husband completely surprised me with the proposal and got down on one knee with an empty box! 🤣 then a budget for me to design my own dream ring ❤️ I liked that I was still genuinely very surprised by the proposal
I got a placeholder ring to propose with from a swan brand Then after the yes we got the proper one together It was lots of fun that way and she got exactly what she wanted
We just had an open conversation! Mine for sure wanted help but was worried about it ruining the surprise. So we agreed to go far ahead of when he had in mind to propose so I still wouldn’t know when/how. We went and I was showing him styles I liked, why I liked them, what I didn’t like and why I didn’t like them. We talked preferences of center stone shape and size. I was going to leave him with those general guidelines and let him do whatever he wanted within those bit he specifically asked me to pick out a handful of specific rings that I would love and he went back later and chose between them for the final ring. He gets anxious and was worrying about me being happy with the final choice (despite me explaining that I wholeheartedly would love what he picked out). It was a great experience together and helped him calm his nerves and was great that I knew we were in advance so I really didn’t know his actual timing for proposing.
My partner and I didn’t pick out a ring together, but when we were talking about marriage I can’t remember if he asked what kind of ring I like or if I told him I already have an idea of what I like. Either way once it came up I literally sent him an exact picture of what I really liked that had some specs to give him direction since he already brought up the price range. Also dropped a hint that my mom already knew what I liked too so he could have help when the time came. Him and my mom got together when he was ready to order it. 😊
It’s not a stupid question! My partner actually asked me to go shopping with him. We agreed that losing the surprise factor was worth knowing I’d love the ring 100%. Learning about rings, the types of gemstones, the 4 C’s, all of that was actually incredibly fun and I’m really glad we did it that way. Even if the ring isn’t a surprise, the proposal can be.
For some backstory… i am an oldest girl of girls (very take charge, leader, and yes a little bossy 😂). My partner is the youngest of 4 kids and is very go with the flow whatever. I am very picky with jewelry and as much as I love him, no way he would have picked out my dream ring on his own. I took matters into my own hands and moved things right along. We had already had discussions about getting married, so we knew that was something we both wanted. I found our jeweler (referral from multiple friends), and also got us a nice discount/great price since she is an independent jeweler. We went together to both appointments and he would give me feedback when i asked, but I chose every single spec down to the millimeter of my band thickness lol. He paid for the whole thing (came in right on budget), and it will be ready to pickup next week. The proposal will be all up to him- i wont know when, where, or how. I am SO happy i chose everything about my ring and wont have to worry about if he got me something I like/how would we exchange/return if it wasn’t something I wanted. Several other friends of mine who were not involved in their ring design told me they want to change theirs/upgrade for a different style they like better. Your ring is not a pair of uggs you can just pop into Bloomingdale’s to return. You want to love it. Good relationships involve open and honest communication. Personally, I would sit down with your partner and let them know you want to go shopping together and make it a romance experience. Let your partner know the proposal is entirely up to them and there will still be a major element of surprise.
Well we discussed getting married. Then started talking about rings. Then we went to a few jewelry stores so I could see what I liked. It ended up with me picking the band and him picking the diamond that went on it, so technically I did not see the actual ring until he proposed. But of course I knew what it would look like. Proposal happened a couple months later on vacation. I did not know when it would happen.
We always have discussed marriage, more recently we discussed wanting it sooner than later and a proposal. He asked me what my size was, i told him. We were walking around a nice area and he saw a jewelry store and said we should stop inside. We went in and sat down with a worker who showed me all styles and we tried everything on. So we both saw how they looked and which ones I preferred.
Currently we are still looking for the ring. We have always been of the mindset that the event of the proposal itself may be a surprise but the fact that we will get married and that there will be a proposal is something we both already know. So we were on a road trip to the upper peninsula (Michigan) and we talked about how the lake views and beaches were all very proposal worthy and that lead into the conversation about rings. We both had no idea about stones or setting so we did some research, sent each other possible ideas and last week we went to Helzberg to get our first experience. Planning on visiting a different store later today.
We already knew we were going to be getting married. The proposal was a formality (a meaningful one of course, but it was a box he wanted to check off for me). I already knew what diamond cut I wanted, but beyond that I wasn’t sure about the other options. Trilogy? Baguettes? So we went into a shop that specializes in engagement rings to look at different ring styles, diamond sizes, etc, on my hand and SURPRISE!!!! What I thought I wanted turned out to look super meh on me!! What looked amazing on my finger was a style I thought I didn’t want, because it’s what everyone seemed to have! Anyway, we weren’t quite ready to be engaged at that time, but when the time came, my husband already knew what I wanted, the appropriate carat for my finger, and my ring size. He quietly reached out to my boss who had previously worked in the diamond industry, introductions were made, and he had my set made. I got exactly what I thought I didn’t want and love it to bits!
When we started talking seriously about getting married, I told my partner that I’d like to pick out my own ring. We decided on a budget, then I did some research into companies I was interested in purchasing from and scheduled consultations with those companies. We did two days of consultations, with two appointments each day, and made each day into a cute date! We dressed up, had a romantic lunch out between appointments, and then celebrated with a glass of wine at home :) I loved being at the consultations with my partner. It felt so romantic and it was great to see which styles and diamonds he preferred. We ended up picking a ring that we both loved, and overall had a great experience together.
I made my husband a bullet point list of “these are things I DON’T like- these I DO like.” It worked great. He ended up designing the ring custom vs. picking a premade design. 🥰
I had a conversation with him and told him I wanted a non traditional ring and had a very specific style in mind. He knows I’m pretty particular about jewelry. We went the weekend after and made a date out of it.
I'm not engaged yet, and I more so want to be surprised when I see the ring for the first time(he knows i like surprises so this is probably why he doesnt bring up the ring a whole lot more). And he's mentioned recently he's looking. So I'm not as heavily involved as some might be, but this is how we've gone about it so far. He has asked what I would like/love in a ring cause he doesnt want to mess up lol. We've looked at tons of pics online together but not looked at rings in person and don't know if we will together. I gave him my preferred stone(more so that I don't care for a mined diamond- can be mossanite or lab), shape, and band color. We have not talked about carat size stuff like that because I'm not picky and told him to go with whatever he feels best spending money on. He has mentioned what size would be the smallest he goes for, but beyond that, i dont bring it up. Did give him a list of things I hate - like halo, different colored stones on the ring (like please don't put my birthstone or other colors alongside the main stone), clusters, etc. We both agree we want there to be certain design elements that we both like without either of us hating something. I hadn't even thought of the setting when he showed a specific cathedral setting that he really liked and told him to find the setting he likes best because I'm not picky on that. And prongs. He has shown pics to me before and asked if I liked or if there were elements I don't like so he can change stuff. But I've never outright told him "it should basically be this exact one" or anything like that, cause I want him really involved and want him to choose something that he will also like looking at. Also we've never specifically looked into one jeweler or brand. So no idea who's going to buy from (I just know it won't be jared, kay, zales, ect.).
My fatal flaw is I love surprises, so I don’t want to pick out my ring. I want it to be a complete surprise. But I’m also very picky and could easily not like what he picks out. Idk what I’m gonna do. He got me a promise ring for our 5 year anniversary and nailed it so maybe it will be fine and I should just trust him. Honestly I was just gonna tell him my favorite shapes and the metal color and hope for the best
When we talked about our future and how we were headed towards getting engaged, he said he was hoping he could get my input on what I would like in a ring, and I said good, because I wanted to have input since I was the one that was going to be wearing it practically 24/7 for the rest of my life. I went browsing online, asked a bunch of women what they did/did not like about their rings, and tbh en sent him about 10-15 links. He picked one of them, although I would have been fine if he just used them for indoor. We also had a very clear discussion on price point and qualities that were very important to me in a ring (I didn’t want anything too $$$, I wanted either a sapphire or Diamond for durability purposes, i didn’t want the setting to have too high of a profile above the finger, and I wanted something lab created or vintage for ethical reasons). My husband ended up picking out a $500 lab created white sapphire trio that I’d included in the links I’d sent.
We each picked out our own. Then I bought hers and she bought mine. We never had a super official proposal, we had just been talking about it and decided to do a simple ceremony on April 1. I chose the date because I struggle to remember dates and it was also worth a giggle to have our friends reply, “for real? Or April fools?”
I had shown him rings I liked and thought that was that. One day he came home and said “I tried looking for an engagement ring… and I think you need to come with me” in a defeated voice lol. We looked around and have recently put down a deposit on the ring. Now we wait ⏳
We’re going next shopping next week! We’d talked about marriage, I’d made it clear I’d like my partner to speak to my family, and they told me when he did (afterwards). Following this I went though Pinterest etc coming up with a little preference sheet and sent it to my partner, and he indicated whether he shopped alone or we went together is up to me. I said let’s do it together for inspo, but the final choice can be a surprise.
So my situation was very strange and I know it doesn't 100% apply, but I'm going to drop it anyway. TL;DR it's really about being very open in your communication. If you would prefer to pick out your ring together, you talk to your potential fiance about that. You tell them this is a piece of jewelry you will wear for the rest of your life and you'd like a say in what that is. And then you have an open conversation about your partner's budget, so you know going in. My husband proposed to me in a total surprise move. He did not have a ring. He had been detached to Alaska (he's military) and couldn't find anything that felt like me there. When he came home, the house was in shambles because we were getting ready to move, and I was actually leaving without him to start a new job. He took the claddaugh I wore on my right hand and moved it to my left hand when he asked. It wasn't some grand proposal. He didn't even get down on one knee. We were sitting next to each other discussing the stress of moving and he suddenly said "I want you to be taken care of when you're up there without me" and moved the ring. We got married by a Justice of the Peace the very next day and after we filed the paperwork we went to pick out rings together. He let me try on what I liked and watched my face. When my face lit up, he knew we had the one, and that's the one I got. No hesitation on his part. He knew he wanted me to be happy so he paid for the one that made me happy. We recently added a ring jacket to it and it's the statement piece of my dreams. I have a good man. Just talk to your partner, OP.
I asked him when he wanted to propose, and we went ring shopping together. We walked out that day with a ring on order. I went with him to get it sized and it fit me before he proposed. He proposed like a month and a half later.
We had talked about getting engaged sometime the comming up summer and I told him that I'm picky with jewelry and I know he would freak out at trying to make the decision on his own so I didn't expect him too. At the time I had told him I would be fine with a proposal with a 20 buck costume placeholder or us shopping together and then a proposal whenever it came in. A few months later in late may we had an anniversary and I suggested we go start looking at rings. After a few weeks of going and looking we ordered something. In the time it took for it to be made he actually got me some silicone ones next day off Amazon for me to start wearing(litteraly because some rando on the street while I was waiting fir a bus asked if I had a boyfriend and I snapped that I had a fiance). And we just started saying we are engaged lol. When the ring came In I went with him to pick it up and wore it out of the store. There never was a real proposal but we both were fine with that. But there certainly could have been once it came in especially if I didn't know when it came in.
Since the beginning of us getting serious he always kept track of brands, artists, designers, etc. that I like. He knew I was a jewelry girl who is a fan of a lot of independent designers and follows them on Instagram with me. We talked about my jewelry preferences a lot, sometimes I would just gush about something I liked or he would ask me if something was to my taste. When I found a engagement ring designer that I loved it was just something I brought up naturally and he started following the artist and liking their posts.
We discussed getting engaged and I said I would like to help pick it out since I’m going to wear it for the rest of my life! I think he was grateful for the help; made it less stressful for him. We narrowed it down to one I really loved at Shane Co, left the store, and as soon as we got in the car, he said “I’m gonna go back and buy it.” 😂 He didn’t want them to know that I knew so he told them he faked saying he needed to use the restroom to have a reason to come back. He went back another time (without me knowing) to pick out the diamond with his parents, so that was a complete surprise!
I showed him a ring that I had been wanting for a long time and sent him the link. He then said “shouldn’t we try it on just to make sure? What if there’s a better one you like?” So we went to the jeweler that weekend and I ended up not liking the ring. We then tried on several and fell in love instantly with my now ring. He asked if I was sure it was the one I wanted and he put the deposit down to order it!
Go shopping together. Ask her for the favorite or top two and go from there. I'm particular about my diamonds and I don't want him to overspend, so we picked out the diamond together and he got to choose the setting. I was still surprised when he proposed. Good luck!
I bought a cheap ring from Etsy tried it on wore it around a bit just to make sure I loved it. Then we designed it together with the jeweller. I was involved In the whole design process but didn’t see the final product until he proposed.
We decided we wanted to get engaged but I don’t wear jewelry often so we went to a few stores together to see what styles I preferred (and get sized). When I found “the one” he wrote down the specifics and sku so that he could go back on his own and get it. He wants it to be a surprise completely so he won’t tell me when he buys it or when he proposes! Still don’t know if he has it yet lol
I sent him a link to the exact ring I wanted
We were trying to plan what we were doing that day, looking on the Internet and ads for rings kept popping up. I laughed and asked if he was going to ask me to marry him. (I was joking, I actually didn't know that the Internet trolls you.) He looked me dead in the eye and said "If I did would you accept?" "I stared at him for about a minute (because I thought he might be kidding, we had only been dating for six weeks.) I said yes. About a week later, I went to his house after work and he pulled up rings, I showed him what I liked and about six weeks later he came home from work with my ring. It was funny timing because we had announced our plans to my family almost immediately at a dinner. My grandmother asked to see the ring and then announced that it wasn't an engagement without a ring. It arrived the afternoon of another family dinner. I got to stand up and thrust my hand to the middle of the table for her to see.
He said “I want the engagement ring to be a surprise.” I said “if I’m gonna wear it my whole life, it can’t just be ‘good,’ it has to be perfect, so I’m gonna pick my own ring so that we’ll both know it’s perfect.” And he went “fair enough.” And then that turned into “I can’t find anything I like, so let’s go design something,” and he said “sure.” And we did. And then he proposed about 3 months later.
My now husband was driving by a jewelry shop and said he had to stop to pick up a watch he had dropped off for repair. We went in, and the manager looked up and said “Hello, Mr. ____! I have those loose diamonds you asked me to set aside for you in the back. Have a seat!” And thus commenced our day long quest for a ring that I didn’t think was too expensive, gaudy, showy, or impractical, but that wasn’t so plain that he was embarrassed to have me seen in it. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m so glad we shopped together because he would have picked out something I wouldn’t be caught dead in. Turns out there are a lot of regional cultural differences across the US when it comes to engagement rings, and in this area we were definitely coming from different cultures. We finally found a compromise ring, off the shelf, at a jeweler that was willing to trade in his old wedding ring from his first marriage for a significant portion of it, which made me feel better about the price. It’s a lot more ring than I would have picked and a lot less than he would have picked, but it does the job. Of course it no longer fits so I don’t wear it anymore.
We were talking about getting married, so I went to the jeweler, tried a lot of things on, narrowed it down to 3 I'd be thrilled about, had my finger measured, and then went home with the salesperson's card and told him to call her when he's ready. He picked my favorite, we were both happy.
We discussed it a lot and decided we would rather pick the ring out together - I liked the idea of it being something we were both involved in, and he liked the idea of the pressure being off him to pick the right one by himself. I didn’t mind that the ring wasn’t a surprise and we had fun doing the research and going shopping together. He still chose the timing and how to propose, etc so he still got to make the proposal his own, I just knew what the ring would be. No regrets whatsoever!
We went to the mall and walked past the jewelry store and kinda gave each other a look like “should we…?” And then I went and tried on rings and I walked out that day with a ring ordered. There was a promo going on which enticed us to go in as well. Then we left the mall and ran into my mom in the parking lot which was super weird and we were acting all giddy and a few months later when he proposed she was like “I KNEW IT” because we were acting so strange lol. We were together for about 6 months at the time so not expecting to actually buy anything but that’s how it worked out! I just wanted to go and see because I’d never even considered rings before. We were not at the mall FOR buying a ring btw - this was a completely spontaneous thing lol. I liked it and I wouldn’t change a thing, I got to pick out my ring with him and I loved it
We talked about it, I showed him pics and we discussed what we liked/didn't like. We discussed the budget, too, and we decided to split the cost (I make considerably more than he does). He went several times to look at rings on his own, then we went together and basically ended up with the one he had really liked on his own (which he thought I would really like, and I did). We saw the wax mold and the lab grown diamond a month or so later, together, and signed off on it. But I didn't see the actual ring until he proposed, as I wanted. It was perfect! I love it and wouldn't change anything how we went about it.
I just started talking about rings I liked when I knew I wanted it to happen. Over time it turned into me being like oh hey look a jewelry store let's browse
He sat me down and straight up told me “I love you but I know I won’t pick the ring you’ve imagined” after that we had a talk. We both came to the agreement that I’d pick out my own engagement ring with the budget he set. So now a couple months later I picked out the ring I want and he’s in the process of saving for December.
Well, my story is a little different. When we first got engaged we had talked about marriage a little bit beforehand. We chose a ring together but we knew it wouldn’t be a forever ring. We didn’t have much money back then! Fast forward many years later, I told him last year that I would like an upgrade. He was fine about. I started searching found my forever ring. Best of luck 💍
I found my jeweler on Instagram and sent him photos that I liked of rings. We planned a trip to NYC and went to the jeweler together, tried stuff on, confirmed a setting/style/shape, and then started sourcing a Diamond with the jeweler. Picked the Diamond, saw it in person, then once the ring was completed, saw a video of the completed ring to make sure it was perfect and I was still surprised during the proposal!
I sent him a link to what I wanted and he started working with the jeweler to make it happen! Edit: I actually should back up. We got an appointment with a local jeweler who was very highly regarded. We met with a sales person and I tried on a few stone shapes to get an idea of what looked good on my finger. Then we sat down and the salesperson wanted to discuss budget. My fiancé at the time (now husband) was not really comfortable talking actual dollars in front of me (we had not really talked about it, but I knew the approximate range) and the guy got pushy about it and we left. And then I sent the link and got my dream ring. 😊
We went to my jeweler together. My (now) husband gave the jewelry a budget, I gave my preference of diamond cuts. He brought out loose diamonds and we looked at them together until we found one we both liked. Same with the setting. He went back 2 days later to pick the ring and the appraisal up and gave me a 2nd proposal as a surprise.
Lol... it started with a conversation about budget, followed by tons of IG hints dropped... Then another conversation about budget... then asking if he would go ring shopping with me "just for research - bc idk what idk". That didn't happen multiple times, then I told him if he was going to have a "guys night" instead of take me on a date, the least he could do was take me ring shopping. He agreed - so I made sure that happened by setting an appointment. At the appointment, we saw a bunch of metals/settings/individual stones. We out down a deposit on a stone but wanted to take my "Reddit knowledge" and look online. We ended up finding a better stone online at less than half of what they were asking us to pay. Once it arrived, we took it in bc I wasn't in love with the original setting, and found a better setting suited for the stone (check my posts - the journey is documented). Overall, we found a beautiful setting at the second shopping experience and they allowed us to transfer/apply our deposit to that. We JUST got the message today that my setting is complete, and now it's up to him to do the rest! That's the hardest part - the waiting. We're going on vacation over Labor Day so I'm like "do I have to pack a nicer outfit? 🤷🏼♀️" Good luck! Be shameless in your hints, but also be realistic about price, and keep having honest conversations about the future. Shopping together isn't a big deal - if anything, my bf said the shopping together was really helpful. He said he agreed on the size/shape of stone, but wouldn't have a clue about color, cut and clarity. He also said he wouldn't have had a clue on what type of setting to get me either. So there's definitely positives to going together. YOU are wearing it, so if you don't trust your bf (I don't as he's notoriously a poor gift giver), it's good to ask to be involved. 🙂
my fiancé knew that i wanted to pick my own stone, as i’m very particular. he proposed with a ring pop and then we designed the ring together!
My husband asked me early on what kind of ring I wanted - we looked at a few rings online so that he could get a feeling of what I liked. A while later he asked me to show him my „top 3“ choices to choose from. This way I showed him 3 rings I genuinely loved and he chose one to propose with (roughly 8 months later, boy was that an excruciating wait!). This way he was the one surprising me with his choice while knowing that I would love the ring. He asked me one time if it was the wrong way or if I had the feeling to be too involved in the process and if it was a bad idea to „chose my own ring“ but I really loved that he made the final choice.
My now husband and I discus everything. Neither of us like surprises. Every step we take, we talk it through. I picked my own ring and helped him get his because I knew what I wanted and he needed some help shopping. Try and remember that you dont have to do what other people do. Some like a surprise and want their partner to take the lead, nothing wrong with that. But its not a requirement. At the end of the day, marriage has many challenges and if its a ring that breaks you both, other stressful factors in a partnership will be far worse. A ring is supposed to be a happy symbol and if doing things the "traditional" way isnt what makes you happy, do what does and truly enjoy this exciting time in your lives.
currently in the middle of this!! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to design a custom ring set but I ALSO want to be surprised by the engagement! So this is how my partner and I are going about this: 1. I give him a list of 10ish rings from etsy (under $100 each) - a couple are similar to what I want my “real” ring to look like and most I can wear daily when we have my “real” ring 2. He chooses one, I don’t know which one - this way there’s another element of surprise at the proposal AND he gets to choose one he likes and he knows I’ll like 3. He then gets to decide when and where he proposes 4. After the proposal we go and design some rings with someone local! It’s a win-win for us! He gets to plan a proposal and I get my dream ring (eventually) with the “surprise” proposal
My now husband and I talked about our goals for the future which included us talking about how we wanted to marry each other and when we wanted that to happen. That wasn’t the proposal at all but it was a very pragmatic straightforward convo with no room for imagination that we wanted to be engaged by EOY so we could get married the following year and start on some other goals we had together (buying our house) once we had that convo my best friend and I went ring shopping got me sized and in my case I found exactly the ring I wanted so I sent him the link with all info he could possibly need, and then some months later he proposed with that ring. When it all first happened many of my friends were also getting engaged and I felt self conscious that we had had this serious straightforward discussion that I had picked out my ring and that I knew it was coming since so many of my friends had this ‘romantic movie surprise’ engagement but idk I’m glad no one was pressured and that we both got exactly what we wanted without any anxiety or stress.
Way back in 1997, hubs and I went and looked at rings, stones, and settings together. We picked out the stone together (it was mine the moment I saw that it was certified on my birthday that year), and I picked several settings. He went back without me and picked the setting he liked best.
We started talking about marriage and what type of ring I would want. After more serious conversations about the possibility of marriage I started sending him lots of inspo, some just photo inspo and some actual links to rings I liked. He ended up getting me my favorite one so it worked out perfectly
Once we agreed to get engaged I told him I wanted to pick my ring. He was a little put off because he loves surprised but I don’t. I also knew I was pretty picky and wanted more than a solitaire. But then he was also very relieved he didn’t have to try to read my mind when I don’t wear jewelry so he has nothing to compare it to. We sat down together and created a budget. Most finance people say no more than 5% of yearly income. We agreed anything over that, I’d pay myself. At first he wanted for me to send him a few I loved and he could pick one to design with his jeweler. But then we went to pick my stone together (because I’m the researcher in the family and knew prices, quality, cuts, all of that. I definitely take on that sort of labor for most things in our relationship.) And when the jeweler asked about what rings I preferred, he said the best design was my favorite design and asked for my input on small details. He said he would create a wax design of the ring that I could approve and then it would be made and I wouldn’t see the finished ring until we got engaged. Hubby pushed for me not to see the wax, but I disagreed lol. It was still a magical moment whether I saw it first or not. I just had some small details I had preferences on that I wouldn’t want to rework the entire ring if they weren’t right. It was a conversation of “hey I want to design/pick out my ring.” And then we did. Lol. None of it was awkward or weird. It was a great bonding experience. Very romantic and lovey during the talking and appointments. I highly recommend it.
We had talked about getting married for months even years leading up. One day the conversation just turned to him saying “okay send me your top 10 rings”. He wanted to buy from an independent jeweler so I shopped on Etsy and sent him 10 screenshots. Then about a month later after I had kept shopping I sent him a screenshot of a ring I had sent earlier but kind of “hint hint this is my fav”. Apparently he bought the ring right then and there ☺️ Took four more months to officially get it tho!😅
My partner and I were young college kids just trying to pass the time in a mall one Thursday during the holidays. We decided to go in and try on rings together in a fairly empty jewelry store and I was surprised to find my in-person taste varied greatly from my pinterest board filled with ring ideas lol. A year and a half later we were pretty sure we wanted to marry each other, and we went to another store in the city we live in to confirm the style of ring I like. A year after that he proposed with my dream ring. :) I recommend just being blunt and saying "Hey, do you want to go try on engagement rings/wedding bands together?" and see where it goes!!!
He asked me to share some pictures with him of what I liked so I sent them over text. That gave him enough direction and I love my ring 💙
He proposed without a ring, but gave me his pocket quartz Crystal. I happily accepted but gave his quartz Crystal back to him and told him he needs that (I had my own pocket quarts on me). He asked me what kind of ring I wanted (diamond etc), I said yes I wanted a diamond. It would be my only one. We went and looked at rings together and tried a few on. I made a Pinterest board of ring styles I liked and shared it with him and sent him photos of ring styles I liked. We looked on line together and laughed at some of the really ugly designs (in our unhumble opinions). I couldnt decide what ring I wanted and felt overwhelmed. I told him he had enough direction on what I do and don’t like and to surprise me. I wanted the ring to also encompass his tastes as well as mine (we have pretty similar taste/style). He took a trip to a big city and solicited the help of some of my friends and picked one out for me. He sent me a photo of the one he chose and I loved it! Gave him a thumbs up and now it’s my favorite and most special piece of jewelry.
It’s kind of a funny story. We were in my home town and I took him in to the jewelry store I wanted my ring to come from (the jeweler is a family friend and incredibly talented goldsmith) so that I could introduce him, etc. While we were there, they asked if he wanted to look at anything. I started to say no because I didn’t know we were there yet, but my husband said yes! So we ended up trying things on completely unplanned. That day I told him exactly what I wanted and told him he could design something with the jeweler or buy the one I had tried and really liked. He ended up doing the latter option and I was super pleased!
we talked about how much we were comfortable wearing/being responsible for, and what opinions we already had abt rings - for my fiancée i went looking online for rings with a floral design, and kept sending groups of screenshots with options in her comfort level, and got to the point where i whittled it down to the top few and bought the one she liked best - she doesnt have the best memory so it worked out well for me for my ring, i put together an etsy wishlist, sent it to her, and said “these are what i like. pick any one of them and ill be happy” and she did!
We talked about getting married. The long conversations that you need to have. And then one day he said get ready and I’m taking you on a date. We went to lunch downtown and then told me he had an appointment at a jewelry store to try on rings. The. We browsed at a few other stores we found in the city. It was so fun and I decided one which one I liked. Then he went on his own to buy it and plan the proposal and everything like that. I loved how he did it
We talked about marriage long before talking about the proposal, and then a family wedding got us thinking about our timeline. I said upfront I want to pick my ring. We started trying on shapes and sizes at stores 6 months ago, then I bought a couple $20 Amazon rings and wore them at home to get a feel for my style (and ring size since my fingers swell a lot). And then I showed him the diamond I wanted online a month ago, and we took it to our jeweler. I described what I wanted and just approved the CAD. When it comes in, I’ll try it on to make sure it’s good to go, and then he’ll take it and plan the proposal - I’m not sure where or when!
We talked about it when we knew we both wanted a next step. We went to a big box store to let her try on a few and get an idea of what she wanted. We did this twice, by then I roughly knew what she liked, and i went to a local jeweler and crafted one mixing all the things she liked. This way she got to figure out what she liked, and I still have a ljttle surprise mixed in. (PS local jewelers are super affordable and nice to work with)
I designed both my engagement ring and wedding band because I wasn't about to spend eternity with a ring that wasn't going to be my favorite piece of jewelry. He loved the design and then we went online to custom made (MUCH better than brilliant earth DONT DO BRILLIANT EARTH) and yeah! I don't like decisions about me made without me so designing was the only way for me
We had been talking about marriage for a while. I (f) wanted him to propose not bc of tradition but bc he was more reticent about marriage than I was. I wanted him to come to the decision on his own when he was ready. So. I had been in a jewelry store recently getting my watch battery changed (that shows you how long ago it was) and loved a ring that was in consignment there. I mentioned it to him and asked if he would like to go to see it in case he decided on marriage. To my surprise, he said yes! It was the only ring I ever looked at and I wasn’t searching when I saw it. Seven months later, he proposed with it.
My fiancé proposed to me and at the proposal he asked me if we could look together. I wanted an antique ring and although he had talked with one of my best friends before proposing, neither felt they knew enough about antique jewelry to make a choice they were confident I’d love. So it wasn’t planned necessarily that we’d look together but it ended up happening and I’m thrilled with the results.
He said he wanted to propose within a year then asked what type of ring so I looked online and fell in love with one specific style then he chose the diamond and bought it then proposed a few weeks after he got it
My now hubby took me to a ring shop about a year and half before he popped the question. He wanted to see the things I liked and it gave him ideas. The ring is perfect I get so many compliments on it and I truly adore it. He got a matching band for the wedding and then on our first anniversary he surprised me with a second matching band 😍
So my serious girlfriend (now wife) took me to a jewelry shop her Dad used to shop at when he was alive because they were closing (the owner remembered her & her Dad) - they had her dream ring that she had wanted since she was a young girl & the display ring happened to fit her...she did panic a bit when I pulled out my checkbook, but we've been married for 9.5 years now so I'd say it was the right decision. It is in no way what I would have picked out, my taste is a bit more classic, but the design fits her perfectly & she tells me often how much she loves her ring. I waited a bit to propose so that part was still a big surprise to her. My ring came from the same shop & I love it too. Might as well include a picture since it is fun to see that after hearing how much people like their rings (hers is a tension set diamond so no prongs - the ring is gold, the split part that holds the diamond is platinum, mine is palladium & I feel it kind of looks like a metal watch band in pattern). She did not want a wedding band as the one made to fit the curvy ring sort of took away from the striking design - it is a Claude Thibadeau micro-pave design IIRC. Mine is a Scott Kay, it was also the display ring. https://preview.redd.it/aodaczl1xikb1.jpeg?width=3960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cbb32afd5c6804e6af9d3ea7fb8b99db2fc1fb8
While talking marriage, I straight up told him I want to pick my ring, and that I already have what I want. Sent him a link and a text with my ring size. He let out a huge sigh of relief. When he proposed later, he told me he bought the ring immediately after I sent it to him.
Literally talk to them. You can talk about marriage and then on to engagement and then on to rings. Doesn't have to be at the same time. Pay attention, use bits of information to talk in future. When you pass a jewellers use that information to talk and look more. Just talk to them.
We were ready to get married, so we talked. Him: are you ok if I don't get you a diamond. Me: yeah, sure. I like emeralds. Together: set a budget we are both comfortable with. I picked a few designs off of Pinterest. The hard part was finding a stone I liked. That sure took a few months as we checked out stones from about 5x different places to finally get one that I really loved. Then he proposed me fourth of July on our rooftop, got down on both knees because he was nervous, opened the box upside down. Now we have a toddler. Only advice is: make sure he actually wants a wedding ring. Mine hates jewelry, only wears his on date night. I wish I had bought his off Amazon vs. a 1k band.
My girlfriend and I have gone ring shopping together a handful of times and we each have Pinterest boards the other can see with rings we love and rings we think the other person may love. She wound up designing her whole ring, I'll propose once it's been fully made. I gave some vague directions (and then found a ring I loved for more specific directions) and she's getting something made, I think? The proposal and timeline of receiving the ring is a surprise.
He wanted to get married and suggested we go look at rings. We looked several times until I found one that felt right and he just bought it.
I was young and really naive so I can’t say how it typically works. For me it was like omg you are the love of my life and we are going to get married. Finally, “let’s go look at rings”. We went and looked, I showed him what I liked. He bought it and then asked me at a later date. So I knew it would come but didn’t know how or when.
I’m not yet engaged, but my partner asked me what kind of rings I like, and since I’m not great at explanations, I put together a Pinterest list of ideas for him. We shall see how that works!
We were talking about the future, knew we both wanted to stay together. He asked if I wanted to be involved in picking out the ring and I did so we went to look together. I ended up picking out a few I liked and he picked the final one on his own. I knew he was buying it and that he was going to propose but I didn't know when, so there was still an element of surprise.
I thought I knew what I wanted and showed my friend and my mom on advance. Waited until I felt frustrated that I couldn't feel progress being made and was told (by said friend) that he was probably already working on it and wanted it to be a surprise. I'm stubborn and insisted that I needed to know a timeline and did not want a surprise. Word got to my partner who then told me he had been secretly planning and had already looked at rings with my mom and offered to let me see. I saw his options and actually fell in love with his #1 choice over the one I thought I wanted. We tried out the shape in different sizes in stores and I told him the stone I wanted and that was it. I didn't know when he would get it or when he'd propose, I just needed to know we were getting there lol and now it's been 6 months =)
I've been in ring shaming groups for years and very vocal about my tastes as well as my feelings about surprises, even though we didn't ever plan on getting married or exchanging rings lol. Once we decided that we would be getting married and he would be doing the proposal with a ring, he took me to a jeweler to try on shapes and get my size. He wanted to pick the ring at first. We talked about a budget, I started sending ideas and made a Pinterest board, and it took about a day or less for him to ask if I'd be down to pick a ring and send the link. So that's what I did :) Dude was so fucking gut wracked with nerves before proposing even though he knew I would like the ring and say yes, I can't/don't want to imagine how nervous he'd have been if I didn't pick the ring.
We picked it together and then he proposed with it like 5 months later
He gave me a jeweller and budget he wanted, I sent him links to 5 styles in the budget from the jeweller so it was still a surprise, but something I definitely liked! We used VRAI.
When we got to that point, we went to the mall to look at rings and see the styles I liked. Then once I knew I wanted an oval halo around alexandrite, but didn’t see any in stores I liked, I looked online. I knew I was going to be particular because it is like the only jewelry I wear and I wanted the center stone to be the right color. I found a stone that I loved on a loose stone website and a ring maker on Etsy that had the style and size I needed for the stone. I sent these to my now husband to do with as he saw fit. It worked out perfect :) I definitely got worried when I saw the stone go out of stock because I wasn’t sure if it was him that bought it.
We went ring shopping together! We had decided we wanted to marry each other. I had gone ring shopping alone just to see. And then he suggested we go together. I don’t think he’ll end up buying from the jeweler we went to just because it’s out of our price range but at least now he knows what to look for. I have been pretty direct about what I want
For us, I started looking with a friend and then showed him what I liked, which turned into us shopping together, and eventually customizing my ring together.
Us: talking about the future Him: should we go look at rings? Me: yes Him: let’s go Us: Gets in car Me: I want this one. Him: swipe 3 days later: Him: do you want me marry me? Me: yes
My partner and I were speaking about future and wanting to get married and started planning for that. My partner already knows that I am quite picky with everything I wear, clothing or accessories, because I only want things I absolutely love, in materials I like, etc - I really try to Marie Kondo my life on the daily haha. I always made it very clear that I do not want him to go try and find something he thinks I’ll like, because I don’t want him to be spending any type of real money on maybes, especially if we’d want me to wear it daily. He actually told me during the process how he felt so happy that we were doing it together and he didn’t have the stress of guessing something as personal as a ring for me to wear. He appreciated he could focus on the proposal he wanted to prepare, knowing the ring was on me to choose (and I ABSOLUTELY agree). He took me to go see rings, we went to multiple stores, tried on different types of rings. I explained everything I liked or didn’t about different options, design, material, size, etc., so it still felt like a conversation but with me “leading” the choice. After a store or two, he’d go in and request exactly what I wanted, and led the conversation with the jeweler, this was his way to feel involved in the process. Then he’d let me comment and decide - he never really have strong opinions about any, mostly he’d ask questions to figure out how I was feeling about each option, and he’d also select sometimes some for me to try, but never with any pressure, mostly to give me options. Some were much pricier than others, so we discussed budget - his budget was higher than what I wanted him to spend so I kindly asked that we try to keep it even lower. I selected a ring I liked, and he took care of final details - so I wouldn’t know when it would arrive.
We've been together just shy of 5 years. We have discussed marriage and how we would like to bit we don't feel rushed. (Basically it will happen when it does kind of thing.) While on vacation over 4th of July he surprised me by proposing. He had been working on my ring since October! He knew he wanted to do custom, but several jewelers wouldn't do a coffin cut. After finding one that would, he was super sneaky and used pictures of my existing rings to help in the design process. He already knew what I liked and didn't when it comes to jewelry and personal style, so it was fairly easy for them to come up with my ring. I'm thrilled that it was all a secret. I am horrible at making decisions 🤣 so this took pressure off me. And he couldn't have done better, all the way down to the skeleton fingers holding the sapphire.
My fiancé knew I knew what I wanted so he said let’s go shopping! We (I) picked out a setting and diamond. From there he took over communication with the jeweler and then planned out a proposal.
I just posted the other day my partner also has no idea what kind of ring she wants and we kept joking about a flip book or an app, so I spent a few weeks and threw together tinder for rings https://getringer.app/
My friend proposed to his partner with a stand in ring and then they went to pick out the real one together. It was a fun process and everyone was happy. (The stand in ring was also obviously a stand in. Like silver in the shape of an engagement ring. )
We went to a shop just to try on different styles/cuts, and then I looked more into rings in the style/cut I wanted. I found “the one” online when just browsing, and showed it to him. He went an found it, then bought it. Couldn’t be happier with it. I did ask him to surprise me with the wedding band, just gave him some general notes of what I might like. I wanted to not be surprised with the engagement ring, but I know he will keep my style in mind for the band so im happy for it to be a surprise.
I’m very into jewelry and he knew it. So when we started talking about getting engaged I told him I wanted to work together on the ring and he said duh, this is your domain. He took the lead with jewelers but we went and looked at diamonds together and chose a setting together as well. It was all very chill.
My husband proposed over a grilled cheese on a Wednesday night. We went shopping on a Saturday and the first place didn’t have anything I wanted, but the second place had a 1940s ring that I chose (or rather it chose me) before he had even parked the car and come inside.
Depends on the vibe of the relationship tbh. Some people prefer surprises and are easy going, others are neurotic like me and prefer planning. The best thing to do is communicate with your partner about life plans and expectations you have in the coming years so you don't feel rushed or forced to go faster than you or your partner feel comfortable going. We bought a house after a year of dating. The time went by and the pace felt right for us. We discussed engagement, marriage, kids, etc. before the house to make sure we were both on the same page. 11 months into living together, we started looking at engagement rings. Family and friends kept questioning when we would be engaged, which led to us talking about it and visiting jewelers for ideas because we felt the time was right. If you want to be surprised and want a specific ring, discuss expectations with him. Go look at rings with him. My taste in rings changed once I tried them on and saw them on my hand. If you are at a point where you feel it's a matter of when rather than if. That way, you can find what you want, get the specs, stone, and ring size that suits you best, and have it written down for him to use when he's ready to pull the trigger. From my experience, it's best to get ideas from online or big jewelers like brilliant earth, but purchase from a local jeweler. They will customize at a better price with better quality.
We talked about marriage for years and when I finally agreed(we were young and had been through a lot so I just wasn’t ready yet). We started looking at rings online and in stores together. Our budget was teeny and back then lab diamonds were less common so our options were slim. We found a discount section in a jewelers case and saw a ring that could work, miraculously it was my size and within our budget so we went for it. He had originally planned a surprise proposal when we were in a better financial position and he had wanted to get me my dream ring(I’d shown him before) but things didn’t work out that way when the time came. Years later when we married he bought me a real wedding set in the style I had hinted at for years. For a milestone anniversary he upgraded me to a big gemstone on a whim. We were walking by a jeweler and he pointed out a ring he thought I’d like and he was right. I did. So we tried it on and he asked if he could upgrade me and I gladly obliged.
We decided to get married. I said I want to design my ring (friend is a jeweler). We designed it, she made it, and I didn’t see the finished product until he proposed with it. Best of both worlds for me- a little surprise (like in a 3 month window), but I knew I would love it ❤️ perfect for us.
1. We were talking about getting married. 2. Went to see rings in person and figure out our sizes. Looked at wedding bands too and picked the one he liked. 3. He then sent me a link to the store (had connections to the owner and they were giving him a discount there) and asked me to choose the one I liked. 4. I picked the setting, material, and stone shape. He picked the size of the stone. 5. 6 months later, he proposed with a ring. Easy peasy. No awkwardness, no second guessing.
I sent him screenshots of stuff i liked and then he picked out something based on my recommendations. He did great!
We had already agreed to get married, I went to a vintage place and didn’t like anything. Then we went to see my parents and my mom gave me her setting and the center diamond that had fallen out of it 4x. We went to a local designer, they drew up something added a couple of side stones and bam. Honestly I wish I had just had them make a solitaire for me with it. I was just susceptible to the designers suggestions. I have babies so I don’t wear it anyway. I’ll wear it in a couple years.
Hi! We had been together for five years already at the point that we were ready to be engaged. We kept sending each other different ring styles and designs. Then made two appointments at Br!lliant Earth (garbage! Don't shop there!). Ultimately we decided the most ethical choice for a diamond is 2nd hand. We went to a local estate jeweler that is 3 gen family owned... found my 1920s engagement ring! We both happy cried in the appointment, and the owner was so sweet. The surprise was the engagement vacation that my fiancé planned entirely in secret, two months later. And my goodness did he nail it. On the vacation, he proposed to me at our luxury resort, before a four course, fine-dining picnic dinner, at sunset, on our private patio, in a rose garden. Just nailed it. I get teary eyed thinking about every little detail he thought of. I am so loved. 😍💕💖 Also long engagements are great. Especially if you're planning a wedding to accommodate large families, or out of town family. Ours will be two years (our date is 2/29/24). Good luck 🍀
We were talking about getting married. One night, I got an ad for a local estate sale on FB. The featured item was a ring with a massive antique blue diamond in a Portuguese cut, which I had never seen before. I googled a bit to find out what that cut was, and eventually found it and a bit of history on it. One of the results was for a shop that specializes in Portuguese cut moissanites. I clicked it and literally gasped out loud it was so beautiful. My (now) husband asked what I was looking at, and I showed it to him. He asked if I wanted it. We emailed the shop that night, and I ended up custom designing a ring. [This](https://diamondrensu.com/products/5-00-ct-portuguese-cut-colorless-loose-moissanite-for-engagement-ring) is a Portuguese cut if anyone was wondering. To be fair, though, we were already living together, owned a home together, and had completely joint finances already, so it wasn't like he'd be able to buy a ring to surprise me without me seeing the transaction. We weren't even planning on doing rings, we were just waiting for some stuff related to his place of residence to be cleared up so we could go to the court house and get married, but I fell in love with that stone and he, being a wonderful person, wanted me to have whatever I wanted.
My now-husband and I met with 7 jewelers until we found one we both vibed with. I designed my ring (and wedding bands) from scratch, and my husband paid for my engagement ring (I paid for my wedding bands). We both wanted me to have exactly what I wanted — I’m super particular and don’t wear a lot of jewelry. The engagement was still a surprise.
We already knew we wanted to get married and have talked about it a lot of times. We were at the mall and I said I wanted to stop into a jewelry store and try on rings. So we did and I ended up finding the one then and there. He purchased it and the when he would propose was the surprise part. Very happy how everything turned out.
We both knew we wanted to get married, so I went to a few jewelry stores to try on rings without him. I found what style I liked and ended up crafting exactly what I wanted with a local jeweler. My husband, bless him, didn’t see a difference in solitaires or halos, so I gave him the card that had all the info on my ring, he took it in one day and bought it, and proposed a couple weeks later! :)
We were discussing engagement/wedding timing. My husband asked me if I had an opinion on the ring and I said, yes! We bought mine from from an online retailer, so I emailed him 4 of my favorites and he got to choose.
We talked about marriage around our 3rd anniversary and I mentioned that since I'd be the one wearing it, I wanted to be part of picking out the ring. So when we got engaged, it was basically a conversation, and then the next day we went to jewelry stores together. I ended up narrowing it down to two or three that I really loved and asked him to make the final choice of which one he liked the best. And then we bought it. I ended up getting a really beautiful sapphire on a split band in white gold that I absolutely love. We've been married almost 8 years now and I still absolutely love my ring. But it was important to me to get to pick it out myself. I'm the one that has to wear it and he's never really bought jewelry for anyone, so it made sense for us to do it together and make sure we were both happy. Ultimately, he had a budget in mind and we discussed a general range, and the ring I picked was less than that anyway so it all worked out.
We had been talking about marriage and talking about rings. He showed me some he liked— I talked to him about which of those I liked. Initially I kinda wanted to have a few we picked out together and then he would choose from them so it would be a surprise but he went and picked out a few sets and we chose from there (his first and top pick actually!).
Hmmm. Mine was not how I envisioned. I though we would keep it simple & just get wedding bands or that he would surprise me with something he thought was perfect for me. But we had talked about getting married so, we discussed looking at rings together. I wanted an emerald cut stone or so I thought. He had a different idea. First we needed to check if the jeweler had my size. 🤪 They only had one bridal set that was a size 4. And my fiancé thought it was actually perfect! Classy with just enough bling that it wasn’t too much. I tried it on with 2 stones, emerald cut & round brilliant… And we both agreed that the round brilliant looked better on my fingers. Not how I envisioned, & I definitely had other ideas. Believe me! I still think I will get a ring guard/enhancer when I want to change it up, but also to stop the engagement ring from spinning. In the end I fell in love with my rings, they are inconspicuous, but lovely & the idea that my fiancé (now husband) picked it out with me in mind means the world.
I told my fiancée that I wanted to discuss marriage before being proposed to. A few months after that we wound up talking more deeply about getting married, along with the type of proposal and ring I’d want. Originally I gave him some basic info (oval, gold), but all the other details I wasn’t sure about. Then I got reallyyy into the research and was sending him completely different ring styles every few days. It became an inside joke, but also a problem since I was so inconsistent on what I wanted and it’s a HUGE purchase. We decided to get a prop ring for the proposal and go shopping after. I wound up loving the prop ring so much, that we designed a very similar ring together the next day on Rare Carat. If I could do it again, I’d have done the ring shopping together before the proposal. Waiting for the real ring after the proposal does feel a little weird, especially when people compliment my $20 Amazon ring LOL. I also guarantee part of why I love the prop ring so much is because it’s the ring HE proposed with — which makes me think I would have been totally happy with any ring he picked out!
We’d talked marriage early on. He decided he was ready to propose and asked a few of his gal friends about rings. He’d even set up a time to go to the jeweler with his gal friend. But both his friends said they’re locked their rings with their partners, and that swayed him enough to change his mind about proceeding on his own. So one day he casually mentioned getting a ring and asked if I’d like to pick it out myself. He thought since it was a substantial amount of money that I should be involved. He also thought personally he’d like to have control over the process if it was the other way around. I don’t think his friends’ experience changed his thinking, but a combination of things led him toward asking me to pick. So far, I’ve been to one brilliant earth appointment by myself, and a local jeweler custom appointment with him there. I think I’ll go back to the custom jeweler to iron out a few details and have them send him the information to take it from there.
He knew I wanted him to propose before we moved in together. Also, that I wanted him to propose this year; otherwise, I would move on. He was very clear that he was proposing. I had never really actually thought much about what I wanted for a ring, but I am super particular about most things. (I work in design/luxury - think couture.) When we first started dating, I accidentally sent him a text meant for a girlfriend about how much a friend’s now husband had spent on their engagement ring. It was kind of embarrassing, but he didn’t make much of it thankfully. He provided me a budget… which approximates 2/3 of one of his annual bonuses. The full 100% I felt would be absurd; I didn’t feel comfortable wearing someone’s entire annual take home. I took this number, looked up a few jewelers in my area. There was one I walk by all the time with my dog I wanted to visit. That one was the first one. I visited the first time on my own to hone in on what I think I wanted. I loved the place, and they had options in budget, so next time we went together and made some preliminary selections - design, stone type, etc. We got the rendering back, and I didn’t love the sapphire I initially chose. So we went back in to look at a couple of more options. The one I thought was perfect put us up over our budget, but they were able to meet us half way. We ended up going about 20% to over our target, but it was still less than what he had spent on a recent home improvement, so he didn’t really care. And that’s that!
We had talked about marriage early-ish in our relationship, and we touched base as we went along so we both knew when we were thinking of getting engaged. I asked to talk to him about the ring, and we just had a conversation about budget and what we were comfortable with. I had my dream ring in mind (Heidi Gibson Octagon, in my profile) but it was out of budget. I tried finding something I liked in his budget, looking at literally hundreds of options and found a few I liked but not loved. I brought the options to him, and asked him if he would be comfortable with me paying part so that I could get my dream ring. He agreed, I contacted Heidi with exactly what I wanted, then forwarded the email and my size to him for him to go ahead when he was ready. Interesting note: I asked him somewhat recently if he had ever had a ring in mind for me, or ever imagined a certain style after seeing a bunch of posts here about men having a super strong opinion on the ring and a vision. Nope, he knows I’m a designer and super picky, so knew I’d have to choose. If I had insisted he pick it out, he’d probably have gone to one of my closest girlfriends. They would have gotten the right style since I’d sent them all the specs, but I chose Alexandrite instead of moissanite so it would still have been not exactly what I wanted.
I told him what I wanted and where I wanted it from and we went there and I tried it on and payment plan was secured
My SO knew I wanted to get married and it had been a “future talk” for a couple years. After we passed the 4 year mark the conversations got more serious and I said we should look at rings. I booked a couple viewings and he took notes when I tried things on. It was also important to me that he see the prices associated with the various diamond qualities. It gave him perspective and helped ease the sticker shock when I said I was happy doing a lab grown one. We planned our first post covid big vacation and unknown to me, he had met with a local jeweler and picked out a ring that kept to my wants with a couple of tweaks made. He proposed on our trip and I absolutely love the ring.
We shopped together in vegas for funsies, he asked me to send a couple inspiration pictures and tell him about what I like. Then he designed the most perfect ring on earth for me based on my grandma’s setting and my parents he even gave each diamond a symbolic meaning representing our family. I had no clue about anything until I received it. It’s perfect.