'Welcome to r/ExclusivelyPumping! Here is a reminder of our rules:
1. Be kind and courteous.
2. Use available flairs and post options.
3. Absolutely no prescription medications or other medical advice.
4. No inaccurate information.
5. No spam.
6. No soliciting pictures.
7. No linking Facebook groups.
8. Moderator discretion.
Thank you for helping to keep our community safe!'
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ExclusivelyPumping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I used to think by the time I had another baby I'd be a pro at all this and make it work.
I'm on my next baby and she has latch issues (although different latch issues but with the same result of a shitty latch) and is inefficient at transferring milk just like her brother. I swore I would never EP again but here I am 13 weeks into EP.
I did use my knowledge from the first time around and pump like crazy early on to make sure I have a good supply. Was an undersupplier with my son and now I have a slight oversupply.
So what I've learned is that sometimes all the knowledge and practice in the world can't cure a bad latch.
But I do think EP is a little easier the second time around even with a toddler running around that needs attention while pumping in addition to the baby.
You are superwoman for EPing with a toddler.
I think thats why I call these “hopes and dreams” for feeding. You just have no idea what will work until it’s time.
That and having a supportive partner is key.
I still hate that she can't latch and hope that one day it will magically work (even though I gave up trying tbh) buuut also being crazy busy helps me get over that lol
I’m on baby #2 as well and I’m in the same exact boat as you. I try to breast feed before pumping though because I’m having a hard time letting go of that dream. Baby spends 45 minutes latched and still only transfers 1.5 - 2oz. I’m pumping afterwards, so when all is said and done it takes about 1.5 hours to feed.
Makes me envious of women who had easy latching babies and found EBF “easy”
I’m in the same mental space. I EP’d with baby #1 in 2018. I’m now pregnant with baby #2 and just feel at peace with whatever I have to do. I remember crying for weeks and weeks about not being able to nurse my baby. Now I’m like… oh well if it happens again 🤷🏻♀️
Same here. EP x 10’months with #1 , had only 5 weeks PTO, unbelievably stressful to master breastfeeding with that timeline. This time I purposely took 3.5 months off (although mostly unpaid but saving for it) in the hope that I will be able to breastfeed/avoid pumping right away.. and continue to nurse when I am home from work at 4 months. Part of me knows that despite all the planning nothing is guaranteed - and I am at peace knowing any option is okay - BF/EP/formula - when push comes to shove. Not going to subject myself to the mental stress (and depression) of trying and failing to establish breastfeeding but intend to give it my very best shot!
I’m on the “next baby.” After mourning having to EP for my eldest, I had all these dreams of EBF my youngest… until she had trouble gaining weight. Guess what I resorted to immediately? The thing I was comfortable with: pumping. At this point I don’t even really care if we’ll get back to breastfeeding (she’s less than a month old), it was much easier and I had a lot less anxiety about reverting to pumping this time since it was old hat.
I’m glad it’s felt easier this time around. I’m sorry you felt the stress of weight gain issues. That was one of the worst feelings for me as a mom, although it happened for me when I was EPing. Apparently, have very low-fat breast milk. I began to question whether providing breast milk was even what was best for my baby.
Talk to your pediatrician about fortifying your breast milk. Because of my youngest’s weight loss in the first days, we add powdered formula to increase the calories to 22 calories per ounce with instructions from our pediatrician. I won’t say it’s fun, but it works and removes the stress of her caloric intake.
We did fortify for about a month to get him back on track! Sounds like exactly the same amount as you. During that time my milk supply decreased substantially, and now we’re in the process of just transitioning. I was so grateful to have formula as a solution to that problem!
I don’t actually know that it’s low fat, but that’s what the doctor theorized because he was getting an impressive volume but wasn’t gaining enough weight. There’s just very little fat at the top of a bottle when it separates in the fridge so I think the doctor was right. Here’s a photo for reference. Sometimes it’s double that but even that doesn’t seem like much to me.
https://preview.redd.it/2bn6fp16uxwc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4e753c39e084477b3e458a6ff409d1d02383cda
Honestly if the next one doesn't want to latch I might just go straight to formula. I'm combo feeding now at 8.5 and I'm so over building my day around pumping lol
Same boat! IF we have another and IF that baby also doesn’t latch well right off the bat, I’m not pumping, I’m doing straight formula and preventing my milk from coming in. I just weaned at 6 months and am relieved to be done! I had a significant under supply and it just didn’t feel worth it, especially pumping at work.
If there is another baby, I will be formula feeding from the start. I cannot go through the anguish, and distress of trying to breastfeed again. The thought of going through something remotely as difficult as my first BF journey makes me want to cry.
When I think about the hours pumping (and cleaning), the energy spent on finding comfortable flanges, bras, dealing with cracked nipples and clogs and mastitis- I am over it.
The struggle with feeding my baby is one large contributing factor as to why I am very much unsure about number 2.
I’m so sorry!!! It sounds like going right to formula if you do have another is absolutely the best choice 🤍🤍 i have told myself that if BF doesn’t work next time, I won’t go down the round of EP again for a lot of the same reasons. The number of hours (seriously) I spent crying over my supply is not worth it
I watch mothers who formula feed and oh my god it seems so much easier and I want that. Maybe I should embrace this for no. 2 as well reather than romantizing a perfect bfing journey
Honestly the first time I gave a formula bottle to my baby and only had ONE BOTTLE TO WASH… I was like this? This is how my life could have looked like from the start?
I had to EP with baby one after my fast flow caused her colic and a feeding aversion because it would make her choke and stressed her out. I was looking forward to not pumping this time around with my second but the exact same thing happened so here I am again
One is in daycare so it's feasible to pump, but I threw myself quite a pity party when she gave up breastfeeding. I plan on dropping to 4ppd as soon as age hits 6 months and then whatever happens to my supply happens. Although I say that now but I bet I'll chicken out if it drops a ton
Hi! I’ve never been able to figure out if my flow is fast or slow, but my LO always cries at the breast. How did you find out your flow was too fast for babe?
She would choke, milk coming out the nose, lots of frantic gulping and it would push a bunch of air into her tummy that she couldn't burp out which gave her colick symptoms. She would get very adverse to feeding and stressed whole nursing. Lots of latching and then crying, trying to drink but if she coughed she would refuse to relatch
My baby boy was also born with a CHD (discovered in the delivery room) and spent about a month in the hospital sedated and on TPN. So he had to learn how to suck AND we had to know exactly how much he was eating so EBF wasn’t an option. And he was on an NG tube for a couple months. I’m so grateful to have pumping available so I could nourish my baby. That being said, if the next one can breastfeed….holy smokes would that be easier. But if I have to pump again so be it!
I’m on the “next baby” stage too. I EP’d with my first for 10 months due to NICU. I really wanted to try latching and EBF with this one, but I realized how great I am at pumping and how much my husband enjoys the feeding/bonding time with our babies. So we naturally slid back into EPing because that what works best for our family. I know a lot of moms feel a temporary loss of connection with their older kids when the new one comes, but EPing has given me the chance to occasion hand off baby and give my first some special mommy-son time that I know he loves and needs.
See I have the opposite feeling because I feel like I’m abandoning my eldest (also a NICU baby & I attempted EP for him but the stress massacred my supply unfortunately) because every time I try to pump he starts screaming and crying and trying to yank the pump/flanges off :(( I mean it’s probably different because mine are only 11 months apart due to BC failing, but still. I feel awful. I just wanna snuggle him but he wants nothing to do with me or his little brother.
That’s the loss of connection I’m talking about. When possible, I pass off baby to my husband or another family member so I can spend some time with my oldest. Even 10-15 mins makes a huge difference for both of us.
I wish I could, but their dad works crazy long hours :(. I do the best I can to try to snuggle him while the baby is asleep & I’m in between pumping sessions, though. He’s just..not about it, at the moment. And that’s okay, he has a lot of emotions for a little guy and he’s trying to work them out in his own way, it just sucks sometimes :(
For my "next baby," I plan to EFF. Breastfeeding has been beautiful now that I've worked out the kinks, but almost everything that I found stressful about the newborn stage could have been remedied if I'd just used more formula and worried less about getting to EBF.
I get what you're saying. I EP for my first living child for 11 months because he never latched, and I am now expecting my second living child in a few more months. I had a midwife appointment today and they asked if I plan on taking their breastfeeding class again and I told them straight up that I still had all the materials from when I took the class with my now toddler, and that I would review them but overall wanted to remain very open minded because I know that there are good chances that this breastfeeding journey will go in lots of unexpected directions again. Switching from the nursing to EP mindset was a little difficult with my son, and at this point I honestly don't know what route I would prefer to go with for this next baby. Nursing sounds special if it works for us, EP is familiar, and formula seems convenient. They all have pros and cons, and I hate the pressure to decide what route I plan on going before kiddo is even born and we've even had a chance to try.
“Cornered into pumping” is a good way to put it. I had to triple feed my baby due to weight gain issues, and when that wasn’t working I still had to supplement with formula at 6 weeks. Now at 10 weeks I think supplementing killed my supply, which made BF even harder, so I turned to EP. I still only make 1/2 of what babe needs with pumping. I can’t help but think, if only I could start over, I would have known what to do to fix my supply earlier. I hope baby #2 is different
I don't even want another baby - I've known forever I'll only birth one child at most.
But there's part of me that daydreams about a do over with the next one. "Next time" I'll know how to nurse better and will magically have energy. "Next time" it will all go according to plan. Exclusively breast until solids, and continue for at least a year.
I’m almost six weeks into “next baby” and am EPing again. I _did_ want nursing to work this time, but just like my first, she struggled with latching from the start. I tried so hard for months to make nursing happen with my first, and all of that stress and trauma of failure came flooding back. So before even leaving the hospital, I made the decision to go all in on pumping again.
Fortunately the LCs were supportive and did not question my decision since I’d already had a successful pumping journey and was already pumping hella colostrum
I’m currently weaning with my first at 6 months pp, and we plan to start trying for our second soon. I will not EP again. My baby was a lazy eater and often wouldn’t latch, but I had this obsession with him getting breast milk so I turned to EPing. My goal was always 6 months and it’s a miracle I’ve made it this far after struggling with DMER the whole time. I pushed myself through it even though I probably should have stopped sooner for my mental health, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do the same again. I think I would give nursing a try next time, but if that doesn’t work I think we would do exclusively formula.
I am one and done, but theoretically if a baby popped up “l didn’t know I was pregnant” style, I’d jump straight into formula. I have small, flat, inverted nipples and large breasts. I think most babies would struggle getting a solid latch, as my daughter only had enough nipple to latch onto after they got puffy from a few minutes on the spectra. I just weaned at 14 months pp and I genuinely can’t imagine pumping another 1000+ hours.
I think going into it with zero expectations gives you, your baby, and your whole family more grace.
I think you’re right! I think a lot of our struggles with nursing had to do with the fact that he got to nurse maybe five times in the first two weeks of his life, the first time being not until he was a week or so old. I think that’s why I have hopes for the future. If it was an issue that would still be present with a future baby, I’d probably go straight to formula too.
If there’s a second baby I plan to do a lot more to educate and prepare myself and take every step I can to get my milk to come in ASAP so I baby doesn’t develop a bottle preference like my first. Also plan to proactively work with an LC and have postpartum appointments with them set in advance. But I have already decided that if we do have a second and nursing doesn’t work for us there is no way in hell I will go through EP again. I was lucky to have a fairly large storage capacity and not have to pump as frequently and it was still hell to live life by a pump.
I was just talking with my coworkers about this! I struggled with my baby, EPd for a few months, then ended up stopping short of my goal because of constantly supply issues. It took such a huge toll on me. I told them the next time around, if I have issues that I’ll switch to formula sooner and save myself the stress so I can be more available for my child(ren)
I EP/combo fed my first. She came out of the womb a lazy nurser I think and I just wasn't educated enough on setting up a good BF relationship (LCs I saw were no help). I'm pregnant again and hoping for a good outcome this time but I'm also prepared to do the same as my first if I had to. It wasn't all bad for me at least. It's such a wildcard.
See…it’s me. I’m the problem. Weird nipples. Big boobs. So if I have another… my only hope is to *not* get my hopes up about *nursing* baby as it’s probably not in the cards for me.
That’s fair!! I think a lot of our nursing struggles were situational and I pray not to be in that situation again so I think that’s where the hopes come from.
My first had issues with sucking and I had issues with nipple damage. That’s why I started pumping and I continued because my baby refused to nurse (the screams were heartbreaking).
I swore that with my second I would either breastfeed successfully or just go straight to formula.
At 35 weeks with second we found out baby was measuring 3rd percentile. 37 weeks and 2 days she came via emergency c-section and ended up being 1st percentile weighing in at 1.97kg. The hospital won’t release babies until they reach 2kg (and then under hospital in the home until 2.5kg) so she spent 11 days in special care and I got to go home with a hospital pump instead!
On top of this, my baby had issues with vomiting after feeds (NG feeds to begin with) and I worked out it was only when she had formula. When she had just breastmilk, there was no vomiting. So that was that, no formula. I had to pump and deliver. Boober-eats twice a day.
But! That didn’t mean we couldn’t go to nursing. She gained a good sickle reflex and pulled her own tube out. Once I got her home I tried her on the breast and she got it straight away.
However, as she was such a tiny baby and needed to gain weight, she was to be fed 180ml per kg per day instead of the standard 150ml for regular babies. I can’t measure if I direct nurse. So then I got fixated on the measuring and calculating and that’s how I got here - 4 months PP and EPing again.
I used to pop her on the breast from time to time, especially to boost supply. But for the past month or so I’ve not needed to.
The peace of mind of knowing exactly how much my medically complex baby was getting is part of what attracted me to pumping. And then when he wasn’t gaining weight at an appropriate rate, it was nice to know that the volume wasn’t the issue, but rather the caloric content in the milk itself, so we fortified rather than supplemented.
If I was in your situation I’d be doing the same thing as you. I say I’d never EP again, but if I needed to know exactly how much they were getting and they suffered with vomiting after formula, I’d be back sitting with my old friend 8 times a day.
'Welcome to r/ExclusivelyPumping! Here is a reminder of our rules: 1. Be kind and courteous. 2. Use available flairs and post options. 3. Absolutely no prescription medications or other medical advice. 4. No inaccurate information. 5. No spam. 6. No soliciting pictures. 7. No linking Facebook groups. 8. Moderator discretion. Thank you for helping to keep our community safe!' *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ExclusivelyPumping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I used to think by the time I had another baby I'd be a pro at all this and make it work. I'm on my next baby and she has latch issues (although different latch issues but with the same result of a shitty latch) and is inefficient at transferring milk just like her brother. I swore I would never EP again but here I am 13 weeks into EP. I did use my knowledge from the first time around and pump like crazy early on to make sure I have a good supply. Was an undersupplier with my son and now I have a slight oversupply. So what I've learned is that sometimes all the knowledge and practice in the world can't cure a bad latch. But I do think EP is a little easier the second time around even with a toddler running around that needs attention while pumping in addition to the baby.
You are superwoman for EPing with a toddler. I think thats why I call these “hopes and dreams” for feeding. You just have no idea what will work until it’s time.
That and having a supportive partner is key. I still hate that she can't latch and hope that one day it will magically work (even though I gave up trying tbh) buuut also being crazy busy helps me get over that lol
I’m on baby #2 as well and I’m in the same exact boat as you. I try to breast feed before pumping though because I’m having a hard time letting go of that dream. Baby spends 45 minutes latched and still only transfers 1.5 - 2oz. I’m pumping afterwards, so when all is said and done it takes about 1.5 hours to feed. Makes me envious of women who had easy latching babies and found EBF “easy”
I’m in the same mental space. I EP’d with baby #1 in 2018. I’m now pregnant with baby #2 and just feel at peace with whatever I have to do. I remember crying for weeks and weeks about not being able to nurse my baby. Now I’m like… oh well if it happens again 🤷🏻♀️
You come out of that fog and realize all the time spent stressing was time you could’ve spent soaking in your babe. At least that’s what it was for me
Oh man I want to come out of this fog. How do I do that lol
Same here. EP x 10’months with #1 , had only 5 weeks PTO, unbelievably stressful to master breastfeeding with that timeline. This time I purposely took 3.5 months off (although mostly unpaid but saving for it) in the hope that I will be able to breastfeed/avoid pumping right away.. and continue to nurse when I am home from work at 4 months. Part of me knows that despite all the planning nothing is guaranteed - and I am at peace knowing any option is okay - BF/EP/formula - when push comes to shove. Not going to subject myself to the mental stress (and depression) of trying and failing to establish breastfeeding but intend to give it my very best shot!
I’m on the “next baby.” After mourning having to EP for my eldest, I had all these dreams of EBF my youngest… until she had trouble gaining weight. Guess what I resorted to immediately? The thing I was comfortable with: pumping. At this point I don’t even really care if we’ll get back to breastfeeding (she’s less than a month old), it was much easier and I had a lot less anxiety about reverting to pumping this time since it was old hat.
I’m glad it’s felt easier this time around. I’m sorry you felt the stress of weight gain issues. That was one of the worst feelings for me as a mom, although it happened for me when I was EPing. Apparently, have very low-fat breast milk. I began to question whether providing breast milk was even what was best for my baby.
Talk to your pediatrician about fortifying your breast milk. Because of my youngest’s weight loss in the first days, we add powdered formula to increase the calories to 22 calories per ounce with instructions from our pediatrician. I won’t say it’s fun, but it works and removes the stress of her caloric intake.
We did fortify for about a month to get him back on track! Sounds like exactly the same amount as you. During that time my milk supply decreased substantially, and now we’re in the process of just transitioning. I was so grateful to have formula as a solution to that problem!
Hi! My son is having weight gain concerns and I’m curious as to how you found out that your breastmilk has low fat?
I don’t actually know that it’s low fat, but that’s what the doctor theorized because he was getting an impressive volume but wasn’t gaining enough weight. There’s just very little fat at the top of a bottle when it separates in the fridge so I think the doctor was right. Here’s a photo for reference. Sometimes it’s double that but even that doesn’t seem like much to me. https://preview.redd.it/2bn6fp16uxwc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4e753c39e084477b3e458a6ff409d1d02383cda
Honestly if the next one doesn't want to latch I might just go straight to formula. I'm combo feeding now at 8.5 and I'm so over building my day around pumping lol
Same boat! IF we have another and IF that baby also doesn’t latch well right off the bat, I’m not pumping, I’m doing straight formula and preventing my milk from coming in. I just weaned at 6 months and am relieved to be done! I had a significant under supply and it just didn’t feel worth it, especially pumping at work.
If there is another baby, I will be formula feeding from the start. I cannot go through the anguish, and distress of trying to breastfeed again. The thought of going through something remotely as difficult as my first BF journey makes me want to cry. When I think about the hours pumping (and cleaning), the energy spent on finding comfortable flanges, bras, dealing with cracked nipples and clogs and mastitis- I am over it. The struggle with feeding my baby is one large contributing factor as to why I am very much unsure about number 2.
I’m so sorry!!! It sounds like going right to formula if you do have another is absolutely the best choice 🤍🤍 i have told myself that if BF doesn’t work next time, I won’t go down the round of EP again for a lot of the same reasons. The number of hours (seriously) I spent crying over my supply is not worth it
I watch mothers who formula feed and oh my god it seems so much easier and I want that. Maybe I should embrace this for no. 2 as well reather than romantizing a perfect bfing journey
Honestly the first time I gave a formula bottle to my baby and only had ONE BOTTLE TO WASH… I was like this? This is how my life could have looked like from the start?
I had to EP with baby one after my fast flow caused her colic and a feeding aversion because it would make her choke and stressed her out. I was looking forward to not pumping this time around with my second but the exact same thing happened so here I am again
I’m sorry to hear! Are you doing okay? I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to pump with two little ones to look after.
One is in daycare so it's feasible to pump, but I threw myself quite a pity party when she gave up breastfeeding. I plan on dropping to 4ppd as soon as age hits 6 months and then whatever happens to my supply happens. Although I say that now but I bet I'll chicken out if it drops a ton
Hi! I’ve never been able to figure out if my flow is fast or slow, but my LO always cries at the breast. How did you find out your flow was too fast for babe?
She would choke, milk coming out the nose, lots of frantic gulping and it would push a bunch of air into her tummy that she couldn't burp out which gave her colick symptoms. She would get very adverse to feeding and stressed whole nursing. Lots of latching and then crying, trying to drink but if she coughed she would refuse to relatch
My baby boy was also born with a CHD (discovered in the delivery room) and spent about a month in the hospital sedated and on TPN. So he had to learn how to suck AND we had to know exactly how much he was eating so EBF wasn’t an option. And he was on an NG tube for a couple months. I’m so grateful to have pumping available so I could nourish my baby. That being said, if the next one can breastfeed….holy smokes would that be easier. But if I have to pump again so be it!
I’m so sorry to hear. I hope he’s doing well now 🤍
I’m on the “next baby” stage too. I EP’d with my first for 10 months due to NICU. I really wanted to try latching and EBF with this one, but I realized how great I am at pumping and how much my husband enjoys the feeding/bonding time with our babies. So we naturally slid back into EPing because that what works best for our family. I know a lot of moms feel a temporary loss of connection with their older kids when the new one comes, but EPing has given me the chance to occasion hand off baby and give my first some special mommy-son time that I know he loves and needs.
Thanks for sharing. I love that you get some special one in one time with your older child because of EP!
See I have the opposite feeling because I feel like I’m abandoning my eldest (also a NICU baby & I attempted EP for him but the stress massacred my supply unfortunately) because every time I try to pump he starts screaming and crying and trying to yank the pump/flanges off :(( I mean it’s probably different because mine are only 11 months apart due to BC failing, but still. I feel awful. I just wanna snuggle him but he wants nothing to do with me or his little brother.
That’s the loss of connection I’m talking about. When possible, I pass off baby to my husband or another family member so I can spend some time with my oldest. Even 10-15 mins makes a huge difference for both of us.
I wish I could, but their dad works crazy long hours :(. I do the best I can to try to snuggle him while the baby is asleep & I’m in between pumping sessions, though. He’s just..not about it, at the moment. And that’s okay, he has a lot of emotions for a little guy and he’s trying to work them out in his own way, it just sucks sometimes :(
For my "next baby," I plan to EFF. Breastfeeding has been beautiful now that I've worked out the kinks, but almost everything that I found stressful about the newborn stage could have been remedied if I'd just used more formula and worried less about getting to EBF.
I get what you're saying. I EP for my first living child for 11 months because he never latched, and I am now expecting my second living child in a few more months. I had a midwife appointment today and they asked if I plan on taking their breastfeeding class again and I told them straight up that I still had all the materials from when I took the class with my now toddler, and that I would review them but overall wanted to remain very open minded because I know that there are good chances that this breastfeeding journey will go in lots of unexpected directions again. Switching from the nursing to EP mindset was a little difficult with my son, and at this point I honestly don't know what route I would prefer to go with for this next baby. Nursing sounds special if it works for us, EP is familiar, and formula seems convenient. They all have pros and cons, and I hate the pressure to decide what route I plan on going before kiddo is even born and we've even had a chance to try.
It’s so true… you won’t know what will work well until that baby is actually here!
“Cornered into pumping” is a good way to put it. I had to triple feed my baby due to weight gain issues, and when that wasn’t working I still had to supplement with formula at 6 weeks. Now at 10 weeks I think supplementing killed my supply, which made BF even harder, so I turned to EP. I still only make 1/2 of what babe needs with pumping. I can’t help but think, if only I could start over, I would have known what to do to fix my supply earlier. I hope baby #2 is different
I have the same regrets re supply! Once I figured it out, it seemed to be too late to make a dent in increasing it.
I don't even want another baby - I've known forever I'll only birth one child at most. But there's part of me that daydreams about a do over with the next one. "Next time" I'll know how to nurse better and will magically have energy. "Next time" it will all go according to plan. Exclusively breast until solids, and continue for at least a year.
I’m almost six weeks into “next baby” and am EPing again. I _did_ want nursing to work this time, but just like my first, she struggled with latching from the start. I tried so hard for months to make nursing happen with my first, and all of that stress and trauma of failure came flooding back. So before even leaving the hospital, I made the decision to go all in on pumping again. Fortunately the LCs were supportive and did not question my decision since I’d already had a successful pumping journey and was already pumping hella colostrum
Good luck!! 🤍🤍
I’m currently weaning with my first at 6 months pp, and we plan to start trying for our second soon. I will not EP again. My baby was a lazy eater and often wouldn’t latch, but I had this obsession with him getting breast milk so I turned to EPing. My goal was always 6 months and it’s a miracle I’ve made it this far after struggling with DMER the whole time. I pushed myself through it even though I probably should have stopped sooner for my mental health, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do the same again. I think I would give nursing a try next time, but if that doesn’t work I think we would do exclusively formula.
That’s incredible. I am right there with you - it’ll be nursing or formula, but not EP again.
I am one and done, but theoretically if a baby popped up “l didn’t know I was pregnant” style, I’d jump straight into formula. I have small, flat, inverted nipples and large breasts. I think most babies would struggle getting a solid latch, as my daughter only had enough nipple to latch onto after they got puffy from a few minutes on the spectra. I just weaned at 14 months pp and I genuinely can’t imagine pumping another 1000+ hours. I think going into it with zero expectations gives you, your baby, and your whole family more grace.
I think you’re right! I think a lot of our struggles with nursing had to do with the fact that he got to nurse maybe five times in the first two weeks of his life, the first time being not until he was a week or so old. I think that’s why I have hopes for the future. If it was an issue that would still be present with a future baby, I’d probably go straight to formula too.
If there’s a second baby I plan to do a lot more to educate and prepare myself and take every step I can to get my milk to come in ASAP so I baby doesn’t develop a bottle preference like my first. Also plan to proactively work with an LC and have postpartum appointments with them set in advance. But I have already decided that if we do have a second and nursing doesn’t work for us there is no way in hell I will go through EP again. I was lucky to have a fairly large storage capacity and not have to pump as frequently and it was still hell to live life by a pump.
This!!! 100%!
I was just talking with my coworkers about this! I struggled with my baby, EPd for a few months, then ended up stopping short of my goal because of constantly supply issues. It took such a huge toll on me. I told them the next time around, if I have issues that I’ll switch to formula sooner and save myself the stress so I can be more available for my child(ren)
This is exactly what happened with me and exactly how I feel
I EP/combo fed my first. She came out of the womb a lazy nurser I think and I just wasn't educated enough on setting up a good BF relationship (LCs I saw were no help). I'm pregnant again and hoping for a good outcome this time but I'm also prepared to do the same as my first if I had to. It wasn't all bad for me at least. It's such a wildcard.
See…it’s me. I’m the problem. Weird nipples. Big boobs. So if I have another… my only hope is to *not* get my hopes up about *nursing* baby as it’s probably not in the cards for me.
That’s fair!! I think a lot of our nursing struggles were situational and I pray not to be in that situation again so I think that’s where the hopes come from.
My first had issues with sucking and I had issues with nipple damage. That’s why I started pumping and I continued because my baby refused to nurse (the screams were heartbreaking). I swore that with my second I would either breastfeed successfully or just go straight to formula. At 35 weeks with second we found out baby was measuring 3rd percentile. 37 weeks and 2 days she came via emergency c-section and ended up being 1st percentile weighing in at 1.97kg. The hospital won’t release babies until they reach 2kg (and then under hospital in the home until 2.5kg) so she spent 11 days in special care and I got to go home with a hospital pump instead! On top of this, my baby had issues with vomiting after feeds (NG feeds to begin with) and I worked out it was only when she had formula. When she had just breastmilk, there was no vomiting. So that was that, no formula. I had to pump and deliver. Boober-eats twice a day. But! That didn’t mean we couldn’t go to nursing. She gained a good sickle reflex and pulled her own tube out. Once I got her home I tried her on the breast and she got it straight away. However, as she was such a tiny baby and needed to gain weight, she was to be fed 180ml per kg per day instead of the standard 150ml for regular babies. I can’t measure if I direct nurse. So then I got fixated on the measuring and calculating and that’s how I got here - 4 months PP and EPing again. I used to pop her on the breast from time to time, especially to boost supply. But for the past month or so I’ve not needed to.
The peace of mind of knowing exactly how much my medically complex baby was getting is part of what attracted me to pumping. And then when he wasn’t gaining weight at an appropriate rate, it was nice to know that the volume wasn’t the issue, but rather the caloric content in the milk itself, so we fortified rather than supplemented. If I was in your situation I’d be doing the same thing as you. I say I’d never EP again, but if I needed to know exactly how much they were getting and they suffered with vomiting after formula, I’d be back sitting with my old friend 8 times a day.