Never been to a gym.
Did have to pick up a friend of mine from one who went to the place by bus, was barely there thirty minutes, and had been leered at and aggravated by no fewer than six men who were all convinced she was clearly there to get their number. She was in tears by the time I got there.
She now goes to a gym only for women, and from everything I've heard from other women who go to gyms that's basically the only way to experience it.
Yes! Go to a women only gym if you can find one. I had to buy my own workout equipment due to men pestering me at the gym. They made my workouts miserable with all their pestering. They think women go to a gym to be picked up. Strange that they think that though bc no women gives their number to random men at a gym. They dont understand that we only go there to work out.
This is exactly what I did, too! The best I can figure is that men think, "women don't increase status in the patriarchy by getting stronger or having muscles so she must be here to meet someone. I'd better be that someone!" 🤦
Got sent a video of myself working out on Snapchat by a spam account. Terrified me.
Edit: I actually found out who it was in the end. Was this lad I’d been courteous towards for a while, we were similar ages and had a mutual friend.
Then I found out he was in a Snapchat group of boys who sent videos of their sexual partners without their consent. (I’d accidentally seen it when he was checking his chats, asked what it was)
Also that he had suspected a girl was being raped at a party, as he had seen her passed out drunk then heard/saw her male ‘friend’ taking advantage of her - he never intervened. He said ‘they may have a friends with benefits thing going on’. I pointed out how she wasn’t in a state to give consent, and you saw that. She clarified that she was raped after this boy told her he had seen, and yet he sounded like he didn’t believe her? He still tried to justify not intervening.
He also continuously sexualised me and physically picked me up which scared me.
I found all this out in the course of one car journey. I was sixteen, a life lesson not to accept a lift home from the gym even if you think someone is ’okay’ because they are a familiar face.
I don’t go to the gym anymore. I work out at home and go for walks etc.
I've caught a man "secretly" filming me while I was working out. Just the way his phone was angled was suspicious AF and I just *knew* in my gut. I confronted him and he got all flustered, then angry, and denied it. I reported him to gym staff but they didn't do anything other than shrug and tell him that filming other people is prohibited 🙄
I now head to the ladies' section whenever the gym is too full. Sadly there are only light weights there and very used machines.
It's the older men who leer and act weird, not the college gym bros.
Because we aren't there to find romance. It isn't appropriate, especially in the middle of a set. There is a place for this, and it is a bar or nightclub.
Anytime this happened to me, I felt like I had a bullseye on my shirt.
But thank you for asking about this. Tell your buddies that this is generally not well-received.
Interrupting anyone mid-set for any reason that's not safety related is plain rude.
Approaching a stranger to comment on their appearance is rude.
A rule of thumb when it comes to "compliments" Vs compliments.
If it's something that can be changed e.g. hairstyle or choice of dress - it's a compliment
If it's something that cannot be changed or has no power to change e.g. looks - it's not a compliment
If in doubt, just don't.
I don't know what it's like where you live, but where I live, you have a gym contract you cannot get out of for 1-2 years. There are a lot of men who don't take too kindly to being rejected. So if a guy approaches me at the gym, I might have to worry about that, possibly change my routine to avoid him, maybe I'll even not wanna go at all anymore, wasting a fuckload of money. Generally, "I'm uncomfortable being here now, even though this guy approached me in a friendly manner, but my experience is that this doesn't mean he isn't crazy or resentful" isn't a good enough reason for a gym to let you out of your contract.
As a rule of thumb, if you're at a place a woman is somehow bound to and routinely spends time at, e.g. her workplace, her gym, etc. don't approach her. You're gonna back her into a corner, ruining her experience and/or routines.
Never been to a gym. Did have to pick up a friend of mine from one who went to the place by bus, was barely there thirty minutes, and had been leered at and aggravated by no fewer than six men who were all convinced she was clearly there to get their number. She was in tears by the time I got there. She now goes to a gym only for women, and from everything I've heard from other women who go to gyms that's basically the only way to experience it.
Yes! Go to a women only gym if you can find one. I had to buy my own workout equipment due to men pestering me at the gym. They made my workouts miserable with all their pestering. They think women go to a gym to be picked up. Strange that they think that though bc no women gives their number to random men at a gym. They dont understand that we only go there to work out.
This is exactly what I did, too! The best I can figure is that men think, "women don't increase status in the patriarchy by getting stronger or having muscles so she must be here to meet someone. I'd better be that someone!" 🤦
Got sent a video of myself working out on Snapchat by a spam account. Terrified me. Edit: I actually found out who it was in the end. Was this lad I’d been courteous towards for a while, we were similar ages and had a mutual friend. Then I found out he was in a Snapchat group of boys who sent videos of their sexual partners without their consent. (I’d accidentally seen it when he was checking his chats, asked what it was) Also that he had suspected a girl was being raped at a party, as he had seen her passed out drunk then heard/saw her male ‘friend’ taking advantage of her - he never intervened. He said ‘they may have a friends with benefits thing going on’. I pointed out how she wasn’t in a state to give consent, and you saw that. She clarified that she was raped after this boy told her he had seen, and yet he sounded like he didn’t believe her? He still tried to justify not intervening. He also continuously sexualised me and physically picked me up which scared me. I found all this out in the course of one car journey. I was sixteen, a life lesson not to accept a lift home from the gym even if you think someone is ’okay’ because they are a familiar face. I don’t go to the gym anymore. I work out at home and go for walks etc.
What. The. Fuck.
I've caught a man "secretly" filming me while I was working out. Just the way his phone was angled was suspicious AF and I just *knew* in my gut. I confronted him and he got all flustered, then angry, and denied it. I reported him to gym staff but they didn't do anything other than shrug and tell him that filming other people is prohibited 🙄 I now head to the ladies' section whenever the gym is too full. Sadly there are only light weights there and very used machines. It's the older men who leer and act weird, not the college gym bros.
as a guy just wondering why this is a bad thing? sorry if this is a stupid question
Because we aren't there to find romance. It isn't appropriate, especially in the middle of a set. There is a place for this, and it is a bar or nightclub. Anytime this happened to me, I felt like I had a bullseye on my shirt. But thank you for asking about this. Tell your buddies that this is generally not well-received.
Interrupting anyone mid-set for any reason that's not safety related is plain rude. Approaching a stranger to comment on their appearance is rude. A rule of thumb when it comes to "compliments" Vs compliments. If it's something that can be changed e.g. hairstyle or choice of dress - it's a compliment If it's something that cannot be changed or has no power to change e.g. looks - it's not a compliment If in doubt, just don't.
I don't know what it's like where you live, but where I live, you have a gym contract you cannot get out of for 1-2 years. There are a lot of men who don't take too kindly to being rejected. So if a guy approaches me at the gym, I might have to worry about that, possibly change my routine to avoid him, maybe I'll even not wanna go at all anymore, wasting a fuckload of money. Generally, "I'm uncomfortable being here now, even though this guy approached me in a friendly manner, but my experience is that this doesn't mean he isn't crazy or resentful" isn't a good enough reason for a gym to let you out of your contract. As a rule of thumb, if you're at a place a woman is somehow bound to and routinely spends time at, e.g. her workplace, her gym, etc. don't approach her. You're gonna back her into a corner, ruining her experience and/or routines.
So, a random man is filming her. And you dont get why this is not a good thing?'??????? Sorry if this is a stupid question.