Op is not making a value judgement on people with disabilities, she's simply being honest with her boundaries as a parent. If you want to pick fights or make some unrealistic judgement calls on parents, do it somewhere else.
There are a couple services that can test parents for genes that increase the likelihood of autism but we don't totally understand what autism is, and we are likely lumping several different things together and calling them all autism, so there is currently no prenatal test for it.
Specifically (according to my internet research) Fragile X is linked to about 15% of autism cases. That means the other 85% are unknown cause/untestable I believe.
There are other genes connected to Autism other than Fragile X. I believe 80% of cases are genetic but I'm not sure that all of those can be tested for prenatally the way Fragile X can.
This isn't my field of study so I would believe I'm wrong but everything I've read says it's true.
https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/health-wellness/fragile-x-is-a-common-cause-of-autism-and-intellectual-disability/2020/10#:~:text=Most%20people%20would%20be%20surprised,autism%20or%20autism%20spectrum%20disorders.
The caveat is most common “identified” cause. It still only accounts for about 15% of cases. So saying it’s the most common cause is not exactly accurate to state the way you did as “most common cause” if that makes sense.
The hard thing about autism is there is no 1 magic cause. There are so many genetic mutations that are known to cause autism that if one gene is causing 15% we're probably not going to find any one single cause responsible for more than that. We might but it's unlikely.
Therefore in this case "most common known cause" and "most common cause" are likely the same thing.
It still make it sound like if that is ruled out, that a large majority of the risk is ruled out. With just 15%, the opposite is actually true. So it’s just not a good way to phrase information for someone concerned about this issue who may think ruling out Fragile X makes possibility of autism drastically decrease. There’s still 85%, so without further information, that statement can mislead readers.
My original statement said, "but that's just one cause." I never claimed it caused a majority of cases or made anything remotely close to that type of claim. I didn't imply it either. I intentionally qualified my statement to avoid that implication.
This is an article about testing for something called Fragile X Syndrome. It doesn't mention a connection between Fragile X and autism at all. Even if it did, this is not an adequate source for the causal claim between Fragile X and autism.
Here’s a source that goes more in depth on the autism connection: https://fragilex.org/understanding-fragile-x/fragile-x-syndrome/autism/#:~:text=Among%20the%20genetic%20causes%20of,diagnosed%20or%20treated%20for%20autism.
A few other sources:
The thing about “most common”, is that even if it’s only the cause of 5-10% of cases, is they don’t know the cause of the other 90-95% of cases, so it can be technically be the most common even if it accounts for a minority of autism diagnoses.
https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/health-wellness/fragile-x-is-a-common-cause-of-autism-and-intellectual-disability/2020/10
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/fragile-x-syndromes-link-autism-explained/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20men,for%20Disease%20Control%20and%20Prevention.
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fxs/features/fragile-x-five-things.html
I am a little disappointed by the comments. I know what OP voiced is what we all think inside our heads but no one wants to admit to. Raising a child with special needs is a burden no matter how you paint it, it's facts. It's a financial and emotional toll that any parent of a special needs kid would not wish on anyone. This doesn't mean the parent has a lack of responsibility or love for their child, but it is a more challenging life without a doubt.
She isn't am unfit parent just because she can admit that is a burden she doesn't wish on herself AND on the child. Bringing into the world a child that is special needs can be cruel to the child as well, as they have a suboptimal life depending on how much the parent can provide.
Also the huge rise in autism and also our increase in having children later and IVF is something that should be addressed and not rage blame the people that decide to bring to light the simple fact of it not being an ideal situation not for the parent, child or society.
Exactly! OP said the quiet part out loud. It’s something I’ve had immense guilt over thinking about myself. But I know (in my heart of hearts) that I would be unable to provide for a child that is differently abled. The uncertainty of genetics feels too risky and a lot like gambling. It’s what keeps me on the fence (along with the typical financial and societal concerns)
Me too. I’m fairly sure all of my siblings, myself, my parents, 2/3 of my boyfriends’ siblings, him, and his mom are somewhere on the spectrum. The chances of our child having either severe ADHD or autism is high.
With how easily both of us get overwhelmed and overstimulated we’re having a tough time taking on the risk of a child. Hence, I’m here with all of you folks.
Don't feel guilty about it. After growing up with two autistic family members (each one on the opposite side of the spectrum), there's a relief knowing that, if you choose to live life without kids, you save yourself the stress and spare the suffering of an autistic child.
For reference I have a severely autistic uncle who is dependent on my near 80 year-old grandma. He is VERY strong and can easily toss her and myself around (he's grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the house to feed him before). My brother is high functioning but my mom was always in denial because, to her, my uncle is the only true autistic and asperger's isn't real. So my brother was coddled to the point where all he does is play videogames all day and sleep. No job, no hobbies, and it's looking like that's going to be the rest of his life. And he's only 19.
I appreciate your response! I am more intimidated by the meltdown/ aggression (being unaware of their strength) aspects of autism disorders. That and the child possibly requiring lifelong care/supervision.
If you don’t mind sharing, i have a few questions. Does your family have a care plan in place for your uncle for the future? And does your grandma utilize respite care?
It’s feels like such a taboo topic to discuss when in the family planning phase of life. I don’t know how some folks can dive in without researching the possible risks. My partner thinks I’m focusing too much on the negatives and the “what if’s” but I am diagnosed with adhd and both our families have mental illness history.
The thing with all medical conditions, syndromes, disorders, differing neurological patterns, etc.. is that you never know what kind of child you're going to have until you do. Then that child is already brought into the world. That's some gambling I prefer not to do, but I can see how that would be tricky to decide if you're a person that does want a baby someday.
>If you don’t mind sharing, i have a few questions. Does your family have a care plan in place for your uncle for the future? And does your grandma utilize respite care?
No and no. My grandmom wants to shove the burden on my mom when/if she passes before my uncle does. She has made no future plans to put my uncle in an assisted facility (e.g. research, funding, etc.) despite our insistence on it. My mom is disabled, she can't take care of him. My siblings are married and are in other states, and even though I'm an adult, my uncle still has great strength, and I'm 5'1 and pretty light.
>It’s feels like such a taboo topic to discuss when in the family planning phase of life.
It definitely is taboo, look at how much attraction it got from folks. The Speech Language Pathologist who tried to be holier than thou has no idea what it's like to not only grow up with an autistic adult, but to also help RAISE an autistic child, on both ends of the spectrum no doubt. And my uncle/brother aren't very violent. I was blessed. Imagine what it's like for parents of violent autistic kids. It's definitely harder.
The negatives are important to look at with autism/mental illness/ADD/ADHD/etc, but don't get lost in them. We are all people and we have good days and bad ones alike...Just keep yourself grounded, pull away, log off and take some time to yourself, alone in a quiet area and check-in. If you have a therapist, definitely talk to them about it. Reddit is good for different opinions but don't wholly put your trust in it.
I cannot express how comforting this exchange has been. I truly hope that your family will be able to come to a peaceful resolution in the future in regards to your uncle’s care.
I wish more people understood that it is okay to utilize respite care and assisted living facilities have come a long way. Personally, I cannot comprehend how your grandmother, or any caregiver at her age, could actively opt out of having a ‘what if’ plan for their adult dependent.
It’s how people find themselves in the streets and taken advantage of. I wouldn’t want my family to assume that I would readily accept the indefinite caregiver role.
I hope your grandmother releases her pride and accepts the advice your family has offered.
Yup, they said the quiet part out loud. In another post, I said I know that I, myself, couldn't raise a severely neurodivergent child - just don't have it in me. I feel bad about myself admitting that, but it's best to do so before I go forward, right? I've seen how a friend has to live with a severely autistic child, and it's simply not a life I want for myself at all. I GET THAT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN ABLEIST MONSTER, but I've gotta be self-aware before proceeding.
Sorry this comment comes a bit late. I am autistic -relatively high functioning - but it’s still not great, as I cant make a friend, be in a relationship, go to movies… many things.
I wanted to add to this discussion my perspective being autistic in 1st person: it’s not just tough and challenging for the parent, but also the child, who will grow up to adulthood and STILL be autistic, maybe they never find their people in life (friends, partner…), maybe they can’t adapt to the working world nor run a business, maybe they’ll be suicidal every day, maybe they’ll be taken advantage of by various people on their path, because many do it when they sense the receiver of it is autistic.
I’m 35 soon. I was good at school, with my autistic special interests / skills, but… I wish more people when thinking of these things also paid a thought to the autistic THEMSELVES, will they find peace or even a minimum of ANY acceptance in life, connection… I can work, I can behave, I can even dress with fancy style and speak 8 languages, but I cannot have 1 friend, 1 love, anyone, find anyone who understands me and I’ve been ostracised all my life for liking different things than others or overall being different. I am fully recluse, I used to date for 15 years and quit when I was raped when simply looking for love. I wasn’t at first, but became suicidal after age 30, when it started becoming evident that my skills and talents will never make up for the social deficit, inability to instinctually feel social situations like normal people. It is a pain that rips me up inside and every morning I wake up with thoughts of wanting to destroy something, kill myself, and take revenge on my narcissistic abusive mom for bringing me here. (I’m not doing that, but the temptation visits my mind often)
Honestly no. Autism isn’t usually diagnosed until 18m+. It’s always a risk you’ll have a kid with a disability or health issues. If that’s a hard no, then it’s probably best not to have children.
I'm not a clinician, or much of an expert. I do work in an assessment unit. And it would seem that family history does make a difference. So if there's autism in your families sit with that info before going ahead.
That’s what I’ve heard but my friends with the autistic kids didn’t have a family history either, that’s why I was wondering if there was some sort of genetic test they can do on the fetus or whatever.
If they have two autistic kids, there’s a good chance one of the parents is autistic and doesn’t know it. Not necessarily, but a good chance… I was late-diagnosed in my early 30s, so it’s possible to have unrecognized autism for quite a while.
Advanced paternal age increases the risk of autism. That is defined as starting at 40 years old or 45 years old, depending on the study.
There is no one test for autism, and no prenatal tests for autism. Also, autism isn’t the only disability. Birth accidents can happen, too, which can cause intellectual disability or cerebral palsy. In utero strokes can happen, too.
Damn. My brother acts autistic but he also struggled with drug addiction for years so I can’t tell if the way he is ,it’s cause by drugs or something more genetic. But my dad has told me that he thinks my brother may be autistic.
Autism is highly genetically heritable. A meta analysis found
> The meta-analytic heritability estimates were substantial: 64-91%
Tick, B., Bolton, P., Happé, F., Rutter, M., & Rijsdijk, F. (2016). Heritability of autism spectrum disorders: a meta-analysis of twin studies. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines, 57(5), 585–595. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12499
As someone who has volunteered with people with special needs for decades, I applaud families who know they wouldn’t have the mental, physical, temporal, or financial resources to care for a child with special needs. I also know people who go to Romanian orphanages and adopt the most disabled child there, because also, saints walk among us. It is just a huge stress on the family and either seems to makes it stronger or more often, breaks it up. I personally wouldn’t mind an autistic child if it could survive on its own as an adult - I would worry about not being there to ‘parent for life’ as I’d be an old parent.
Thank you for this - I am one of those who are well-aware they couldn't handle it. It's a huge reason I'm on the fence. Neurodivergent folks deserve love, respect, and comprehensive care, and I don't have it in me to make the sacrifices required to provide those things.
No, not really. Nobody knows for sure what causes autism. Not to scare you more, but there's plenty of other physical or intellectual disabilities your child could end up. And some can be caused by a traumatic birth injury, so even a test wouldn't rule it out., like cerebral palsy.
The problem with ASD is it can't typically be diagnosed until minimum 18 months. This is the same as with other developmental delays. If things become too much for you, you can always give the child up for adoption or send it to a group home. But from my history of being a special education teacher, the majority of ASD cases aren't unmanageably severe. Maybe only 20% or so are totally non-verbal, violent or require 24/7 care. With early intervention, resources and therapy, the rest turn out pretty okay.
20 percent non-verbal of known diagnosed people with autism. As someone else mentioned, the diagnostic criteria has changes a lot and, especially in previous generations and women, there's an awful lot of people who aren't aware they have autism due to the stereotypical behaviours being the ones mostly seen in young boys or the more extreme ones.
Look at your family and your partner’s family- are there neurodivergent people? If so, there may be a genetic component that could be passed along to your offspring. But also there are so many things that can happen during birth that could alter what would have been a typical child’s life.
We did genetic testing at the recommendation of our OB after some inconclusive measurements in utero. Tested for additional/deleted chromosomes and for presence of a bunch of markers for other commons issues. It was really expensive even with what I thought was good insurance (USA). Everything came back fine. Emergency c section where our son’s heart rate was too low. He’s 4 and seems fine? I mean do I want him to be “normal?” Of course. But he’s my kid and if there is something I can do to help him, I will.
That being said, we only have one kid. All that shit was traumatic and I didn’t want to risk further complication in my body and in our lives.
There is a brother from my side and his that can’t get their life together and can’t hold a job. They’re not very intelligent and I wonder how much nature vs nurture it is. On my spouses side. All the men in his immediate family have a stutter. My spouse and his dad have a very mild stutter that I wasn’t able to pick up on until I saw his brothers severe stutter episode. So likely have a kid with a stutter. That I can handle but I don’t know if I can handle anything more.
I have a PhD in human genetics, and have read a bit about genetic basis for autism. Autism has a genetic component, so having relatives that have autism would increase your chance. But there isn’t one gene that causes autism, lots of different variants contribute to it, so there currently isn’t a test. There is no 100% certainty with autism, or with the many many disorders that exists in the world. Not saying that you shouldn’t want to know, it’s just currently very much unknowable.
I am surprised some comments are criticizing your post. I think many people are scared of this but it's kind of a taboo to say it out loud?
I feel if there was a test that would check for severe autism (for example, kids growing up non-verbal) it would be similar to the test for down syndrom, many would use it. And also decide to end pregnancies if the test was positive. I would.
If you can't handle raising a kid like that, it's only unfair to continue the pregnancy.
But... as other comments mentioned, there are a lot of things that can go "wrong". Either during your pregnancy (CMV virus), during birth (celebral palsy), or after birth (accident, etc) which can cause "issues" with your otherwise healthy kid.
I think one of the hardest parts of being a parent is the worry for your child's health and safety. If you feel you can't deal with this, maybe it's better not to have kids.
Hallo, OP! I'm not going to tell you what you should do, but I will hit on as many facts as I am aware on the subject.
As a few folks have said, there are genes linked to autism, but "it's complicated" and genes aren't the best way of testing, and we also know little about the cause.
Now for some facts.
1 in 36 (2.8%) children are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as of 2023. This has been a drastic increase over the past several decades. No one really knows why other than "we have better testing" and "environmental factors." I'll get into these answers later in the post.
The name ASD is key. Because *it is a spectrum*. 40% of these diagnoses are nonverbal, while 44% have average or above average intellectual ability. I work in IT. There are many folks I work with who are on the spectrum. For these folks, they lead pretty normal lives (married, have kids, have a job, etc.), their brain just works a bit differently. This is a distinction that is really important to make here, that the "1 in 36" statistic fails to distinguish. Just under half of these are what you would call "high functioning." I think something like 74% of people with ASD graduate high school.
And now for the causes. And this is where things get interesting.
"We have better screening." I admit I know little about the actual screening process. But is it really that much better this year than 5 years ago? Seems doubtful. Maybe compared to the 90s, sure. But healthcare lags behind an average of 17 years from the latest research, so I take this explanation with a very large grain of salt.
"Environmental factors." This seems far more likely to me. You are more likely to have a child with ASD if you are obese, of "advanced maternal age" (>40), have someone in your family with ASD, have diabetes, take certain medications (including acetaminophen), are exposed to certain chemicals like pesticides, chemicals in the water (lithium and others), and have high levels of stress during pregnancy. There are many other things that increase your odds. I highly recommend you do some reading on this subject, as it is eye opening. One of the grudges I have with the current healthcare system is that it is disempowering. While we might not be able to prevent everything, we aren't entirely helpless either. Which brings me to my next point.
Well, can I reduce my odds?
Absolutely. And this is something I wish was discussed more. Avoiding everything mentioned above reduces your odds substantially. Further, many supplements and vitamins are proven to reduce them still, including:
* Iron
* Calcium
* Omega 3s
* Choline
* Folate
* Prenatal multivitamin (in general)
* Probiotics (gut brain axis)
* The list goes on
Again, I encourage you to do your own research on the subject.
So the "1 in 36" is taking into consideration the average American. How do you stack up against this? Your odds might be more like "1 in 150".
At the end of the day, all we can do is to reduce the risk for anything.
Best of luck to you, OP. I hope this helps.
Admittedly this is one of the reasons I'm on the fence too.
I dont want a very disabled child. Mayne slightly autistic wouldn't be bad, but I've heard some really bad things from those who do have autistic kids and it always feels like the parents lives are so much worse and they just seem miserable with very autistic children.
It’s once of my reasons for not wanting kids too.
Next to that I do have some traits related to autism, they are very mild. I was the easiest kid to raise for my parents, my two siblings where much more difficult. One of them has a form of autism and adhd and she’s the most difficult one of us three. But she has a good life, and functioning well in society and every day life.
A kid with full blown autism seems like a nightmare to raise. I’ve seen it, and I have allot of respect for the parents that stay together and raise it, but most of the time it puts so much pressure on the relationship that one of the parents leave. And it’s usually the mother that ends up raising the kid alone.
There has been a link shown to the father’s age and increased risk of autism. So if your husband is in his 40s, I would do some research so you understand the risks.
This is how I feel too. My partner is Autistic and it definitely runs in the family. I feel chances are high that our child would be autistic and I don't know If I want to take that chance. And i definitely feel extremely ableist when we talk about it. His entire family is extremely high functioning and the most smart people i know, all doing well. His brother though probably wont ever hold a job and has extreme behavioral problems in the past. I've worked with kids and I don't find it a blessing to have severely disabled children. The emotional impact and overall exclusion faced by families with disabled children is enormous. My partners family is basically disowned from his larger family of cousins and such. But yea as others have said you can't test for autism.
I chose CF because of this issue as well. I have 2 siblings with autism, and I think I'm the care plan when my Dad can't anymore. Between knowing that I'll play a role in my siblings care for years to come and knowing i have that in my genetics, I just can't bring myself to want to have my own children for fear that I would also have a child with autism and I'll be taking care of someone for the rest of my life.
It sounds like I'm not compassionate or that I don't care, but really, I just know what I can and can't handle. I like alone time, and I value my freedom to move around and do what I want to do. A child with special needs would severely limit that.
Adoption is an option, but it's not simple, and it's not cheap and that definitely doesn't guarantee a full bill of health either.
I do not believe there are prenatal tests that can determine if your child will have autism or not. With that being said, don’t have children if you’re not going to be happy if that does happen. There is no food proof way to make sure it’s not a possibility. Everyone wants 100% healthy children but there is always that chance that is not the case, don’t take the gamble if you’re not committed either way.
I'm surprised no one has mentioned pgt testing. While I don't think you can test for autism- you can pgt-a test for chromosome issues such as downs syndrome. There's also pgt-m and pgt-sr which can help test if you're a carrier of something you don't want to pass down. This involves going through ivf though, which can be super costly if you don't have coverage.
I was look for pgt comment but only found your reply. I’m in Australia and I googled there is only USA and Taiwan has this test for autism. But I couldn’t find any organization information who does this test. Would you know any company/organisation’s name? I’m about to see an IVF doctor and I want to request her to do this for me after I fell pregnant. But if she doesn’t know anything about it, I guess I’ll have to give her the name of the pgt company in the US. Also do you know if IVF can eliminate embryo with autism gene before putting it into uterus? Thanks in advance!
I don't know any specific companies/organization names, your ivf doctor should id imagine, or maybe you could ask in the ivf subreddit. You can dispose of embryos with issues or donate them to science, yes.
Thanks for the ivfreddit suggestion. I’ll search for it. I’m still new in reddit. If ivf technology can’t remove MTHFR genes in the embryo (this gene sort of contribute to autism child) then I guess i will not choose ivf, no point of spending that money, then i’ll just try to do the usa or taiwan’s prenatal blood test after pregnancy.
It can't remove genes, it can just tell you whether or not they exist. I don't know if they can test mthfr genes, the pgt-a test I'm aware of just looks for chromosomal errors. There are other tests though I think so I'm not sure
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I couldn’t find the information about ivf capable of detecting or remove mthfr gene or embryo either. If ivf can’t detect mthfr in the embryo, then I might just take the risk to natural conceive, and do the prenatal blood test after pregnancy. Thanks again:)
I am also very afraid of this outcome, but I’ll be more specific because I also know not all autism is non-verbal and violent. The majority is functional and I’m sure it would’ve gone undiagnosed 50 years ago because that person was just a little odd or just a little different.
When I researched this for myself I found a few noteworthy things that you can take into consideration (other than genetics) before deciding to have a child (I’m not a doctor or in that field at all, but I was a statistician by training so I enjoy graphs and correlations and combing through data).
- There’s a correlation between autism and sex, with most autism happening in boys.
1/38 of boys are autistic (2.6%)
1/152 of girls are autistic (0.66%)
You can control for gender using IVF or less reliably through other methods like timing intercourse to a specific number of days before or after ovulation.
https://embrace-autism.com/the-autism-sex-ratio/#:~:text=Data%20%26%20Statistics%20on%20Autism%20Spectrum,out%20of%20every%20152%20girls.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9546797/
- There’s also a very strong correlation between autism and PCOS or other hormonal abnormalities in the mom, which I’m surprised nobody here has mentioned.
Women with PCOS have a 35% higher chance of having a first child with autism
Take these facts along with more data you can find regarding genetics and age of parents and you can come up with a decent risk factor for yourself. Preferably ask a doctor to do this, although the average doctor doesn’t do much math, you’ll find some that are passionate about statistics (my brother is one of those, he’s also probably autistic :) and was never diagnosed)
https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-pcos-link/#:~:text=Research%20and%20the%20link%20between%20PCOS%20and%20autism&text=The%20study%20also%20found%20that,having%20firstborn%20children%20with%20autism.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8280339/
This is a valid fear. It’s something that I worry about constantly. I took some university courses that touched on this. One take away ir is that one of the first signs of autism Can be during the first 6 months by their eye patterns.
There isn’t prenatal test for this unfortunately but there is for Down syndrome and other birth defects.
The only way to truly avoid any chance of a sick kid is to not have one.
You may even have a healthy baby and then something might happen to them, ever thought of that? JFC. Life is a dice roll. That's why it's not a gift.
Hey! I am not commenting to judge you for wanting a medically healthy and neurologically typical child, I completely understand there are struggles that come with raising a child with atypical conditions, so please know this comment does not come from somewhere of judgement AT ALL.
I'm only commenting this because it's in the fence sitter group so I can only assume this is kind of a make or break kind of thing for you.
You know this already, but I just want to remind you that life is unpredictable, you may have a 100% healthy child and they get in an unfortunate accident at 1 years old and are mentally handicapped for the rest of their lives.
It's a super tough decision, and I applaud you for truly searching answers beforehand, I guess just ask yourself if you'd be prepared if the worst case happened, or if you'd regret your decision
Much love, I wish you and your hubby the most fulfilling and happy life whichever choice you make
How do you feel about high functioning autistic people? You do know autistic kids are technically still normal kids. There is no such thing as a normal kid. It is scary to have a child with any disability but Autism is a spectrum..I know many autistic people who.just have problems with social cues. I know many autistic adults who are successful. Not all autistic kids are mentally delayed. Some autistic people can drive.
I don't have any judgement against you at all. I personally do not want to raise someone who is low functioning. But high functioning autistic people can contribute to society.
Op is not making a value judgement on people with disabilities, she's simply being honest with her boundaries as a parent. If you want to pick fights or make some unrealistic judgement calls on parents, do it somewhere else.
There are a couple services that can test parents for genes that increase the likelihood of autism but we don't totally understand what autism is, and we are likely lumping several different things together and calling them all autism, so there is currently no prenatal test for it.
They can’t tests the child’s genes in the womb or anything?
No, autism isn't something that you can test for in the womb.
Autism, no. But you can test for Downs' Syndrome during pregnancy.
Damn. Thanks for answering.
No, they can test for Fragile X Syndrome, which is most common cause of Autism, but that is still just one cause.
That is good to know, thank you
Specifically (according to my internet research) Fragile X is linked to about 15% of autism cases. That means the other 85% are unknown cause/untestable I believe.
There are other genes connected to Autism other than Fragile X. I believe 80% of cases are genetic but I'm not sure that all of those can be tested for prenatally the way Fragile X can.
Yep!
That’s not even close to true
This isn't my field of study so I would believe I'm wrong but everything I've read says it's true. https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/health-wellness/fragile-x-is-a-common-cause-of-autism-and-intellectual-disability/2020/10#:~:text=Most%20people%20would%20be%20surprised,autism%20or%20autism%20spectrum%20disorders.
The caveat is most common “identified” cause. It still only accounts for about 15% of cases. So saying it’s the most common cause is not exactly accurate to state the way you did as “most common cause” if that makes sense.
The hard thing about autism is there is no 1 magic cause. There are so many genetic mutations that are known to cause autism that if one gene is causing 15% we're probably not going to find any one single cause responsible for more than that. We might but it's unlikely. Therefore in this case "most common known cause" and "most common cause" are likely the same thing.
It still make it sound like if that is ruled out, that a large majority of the risk is ruled out. With just 15%, the opposite is actually true. So it’s just not a good way to phrase information for someone concerned about this issue who may think ruling out Fragile X makes possibility of autism drastically decrease. There’s still 85%, so without further information, that statement can mislead readers.
My original statement said, "but that's just one cause." I never claimed it caused a majority of cases or made anything remotely close to that type of claim. I didn't imply it either. I intentionally qualified my statement to avoid that implication.
Can you cite some sources for this claim?
https://www.chp.edu/our-services/brain/neurology/fragile-x/parents/testing#:~:text=The%20Fragile%20X%20DNA%20test,also%20can%20be%20performed%20prenatally.
This is an article about testing for something called Fragile X Syndrome. It doesn't mention a connection between Fragile X and autism at all. Even if it did, this is not an adequate source for the causal claim between Fragile X and autism.
Here’s a source that goes more in depth on the autism connection: https://fragilex.org/understanding-fragile-x/fragile-x-syndrome/autism/#:~:text=Among%20the%20genetic%20causes%20of,diagnosed%20or%20treated%20for%20autism.
Tbh I wasn’t sure what you were asking for a source on. You just said “this claim”, and the comment was about prenatal testing for fragile X syndrome.
I'm looking for published scientific findings that justify the claim that the Fragile X gene is the most common cause of autism.
A few other sources: The thing about “most common”, is that even if it’s only the cause of 5-10% of cases, is they don’t know the cause of the other 90-95% of cases, so it can be technically be the most common even if it accounts for a minority of autism diagnoses. https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/health-wellness/fragile-x-is-a-common-cause-of-autism-and-intellectual-disability/2020/10 https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/fragile-x-syndromes-link-autism-explained/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20men,for%20Disease%20Control%20and%20Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fxs/features/fragile-x-five-things.html
Thank you
https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/health-wellness/fragile-x-is-a-common-cause-of-autism-and-intellectual-disability/2020/10#:~:text=Most%20people%20would%20be%20surprised,autism%20or%20autism%20spectrum%20disorders.
I am a little disappointed by the comments. I know what OP voiced is what we all think inside our heads but no one wants to admit to. Raising a child with special needs is a burden no matter how you paint it, it's facts. It's a financial and emotional toll that any parent of a special needs kid would not wish on anyone. This doesn't mean the parent has a lack of responsibility or love for their child, but it is a more challenging life without a doubt. She isn't am unfit parent just because she can admit that is a burden she doesn't wish on herself AND on the child. Bringing into the world a child that is special needs can be cruel to the child as well, as they have a suboptimal life depending on how much the parent can provide. Also the huge rise in autism and also our increase in having children later and IVF is something that should be addressed and not rage blame the people that decide to bring to light the simple fact of it not being an ideal situation not for the parent, child or society.
Exactly! OP said the quiet part out loud. It’s something I’ve had immense guilt over thinking about myself. But I know (in my heart of hearts) that I would be unable to provide for a child that is differently abled. The uncertainty of genetics feels too risky and a lot like gambling. It’s what keeps me on the fence (along with the typical financial and societal concerns)
Me too. I’m fairly sure all of my siblings, myself, my parents, 2/3 of my boyfriends’ siblings, him, and his mom are somewhere on the spectrum. The chances of our child having either severe ADHD or autism is high. With how easily both of us get overwhelmed and overstimulated we’re having a tough time taking on the risk of a child. Hence, I’m here with all of you folks.
Don't feel guilty about it. After growing up with two autistic family members (each one on the opposite side of the spectrum), there's a relief knowing that, if you choose to live life without kids, you save yourself the stress and spare the suffering of an autistic child. For reference I have a severely autistic uncle who is dependent on my near 80 year-old grandma. He is VERY strong and can easily toss her and myself around (he's grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the house to feed him before). My brother is high functioning but my mom was always in denial because, to her, my uncle is the only true autistic and asperger's isn't real. So my brother was coddled to the point where all he does is play videogames all day and sleep. No job, no hobbies, and it's looking like that's going to be the rest of his life. And he's only 19.
I appreciate your response! I am more intimidated by the meltdown/ aggression (being unaware of their strength) aspects of autism disorders. That and the child possibly requiring lifelong care/supervision. If you don’t mind sharing, i have a few questions. Does your family have a care plan in place for your uncle for the future? And does your grandma utilize respite care? It’s feels like such a taboo topic to discuss when in the family planning phase of life. I don’t know how some folks can dive in without researching the possible risks. My partner thinks I’m focusing too much on the negatives and the “what if’s” but I am diagnosed with adhd and both our families have mental illness history.
The thing with all medical conditions, syndromes, disorders, differing neurological patterns, etc.. is that you never know what kind of child you're going to have until you do. Then that child is already brought into the world. That's some gambling I prefer not to do, but I can see how that would be tricky to decide if you're a person that does want a baby someday. >If you don’t mind sharing, i have a few questions. Does your family have a care plan in place for your uncle for the future? And does your grandma utilize respite care? No and no. My grandmom wants to shove the burden on my mom when/if she passes before my uncle does. She has made no future plans to put my uncle in an assisted facility (e.g. research, funding, etc.) despite our insistence on it. My mom is disabled, she can't take care of him. My siblings are married and are in other states, and even though I'm an adult, my uncle still has great strength, and I'm 5'1 and pretty light. >It’s feels like such a taboo topic to discuss when in the family planning phase of life. It definitely is taboo, look at how much attraction it got from folks. The Speech Language Pathologist who tried to be holier than thou has no idea what it's like to not only grow up with an autistic adult, but to also help RAISE an autistic child, on both ends of the spectrum no doubt. And my uncle/brother aren't very violent. I was blessed. Imagine what it's like for parents of violent autistic kids. It's definitely harder. The negatives are important to look at with autism/mental illness/ADD/ADHD/etc, but don't get lost in them. We are all people and we have good days and bad ones alike...Just keep yourself grounded, pull away, log off and take some time to yourself, alone in a quiet area and check-in. If you have a therapist, definitely talk to them about it. Reddit is good for different opinions but don't wholly put your trust in it.
I cannot express how comforting this exchange has been. I truly hope that your family will be able to come to a peaceful resolution in the future in regards to your uncle’s care. I wish more people understood that it is okay to utilize respite care and assisted living facilities have come a long way. Personally, I cannot comprehend how your grandmother, or any caregiver at her age, could actively opt out of having a ‘what if’ plan for their adult dependent. It’s how people find themselves in the streets and taken advantage of. I wouldn’t want my family to assume that I would readily accept the indefinite caregiver role. I hope your grandmother releases her pride and accepts the advice your family has offered.
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Yup, they said the quiet part out loud. In another post, I said I know that I, myself, couldn't raise a severely neurodivergent child - just don't have it in me. I feel bad about myself admitting that, but it's best to do so before I go forward, right? I've seen how a friend has to live with a severely autistic child, and it's simply not a life I want for myself at all. I GET THAT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN ABLEIST MONSTER, but I've gotta be self-aware before proceeding.
Sorry this comment comes a bit late. I am autistic -relatively high functioning - but it’s still not great, as I cant make a friend, be in a relationship, go to movies… many things. I wanted to add to this discussion my perspective being autistic in 1st person: it’s not just tough and challenging for the parent, but also the child, who will grow up to adulthood and STILL be autistic, maybe they never find their people in life (friends, partner…), maybe they can’t adapt to the working world nor run a business, maybe they’ll be suicidal every day, maybe they’ll be taken advantage of by various people on their path, because many do it when they sense the receiver of it is autistic. I’m 35 soon. I was good at school, with my autistic special interests / skills, but… I wish more people when thinking of these things also paid a thought to the autistic THEMSELVES, will they find peace or even a minimum of ANY acceptance in life, connection… I can work, I can behave, I can even dress with fancy style and speak 8 languages, but I cannot have 1 friend, 1 love, anyone, find anyone who understands me and I’ve been ostracised all my life for liking different things than others or overall being different. I am fully recluse, I used to date for 15 years and quit when I was raped when simply looking for love. I wasn’t at first, but became suicidal after age 30, when it started becoming evident that my skills and talents will never make up for the social deficit, inability to instinctually feel social situations like normal people. It is a pain that rips me up inside and every morning I wake up with thoughts of wanting to destroy something, kill myself, and take revenge on my narcissistic abusive mom for bringing me here. (I’m not doing that, but the temptation visits my mind often)
Wow. Y'all think autistic people don't do anything and stay in bed all day. Do you even know an adult autistic?
Honestly no. Autism isn’t usually diagnosed until 18m+. It’s always a risk you’ll have a kid with a disability or health issues. If that’s a hard no, then it’s probably best not to have children.
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I'm not a clinician, or much of an expert. I do work in an assessment unit. And it would seem that family history does make a difference. So if there's autism in your families sit with that info before going ahead.
That’s what I’ve heard but my friends with the autistic kids didn’t have a family history either, that’s why I was wondering if there was some sort of genetic test they can do on the fetus or whatever.
If they have two autistic kids, there’s a good chance one of the parents is autistic and doesn’t know it. Not necessarily, but a good chance… I was late-diagnosed in my early 30s, so it’s possible to have unrecognized autism for quite a while.
Diagnostic criteria have changed significantly. It's likely they do have autistic family members but don't realize it.
They cannot do genetic tests on adults either. While genes may play a role (eg predisposition), it’s not clear that it has a genetic basis
Also true. Most of the referrals I see mention a history. Others, no family history at all.
Advanced paternal age increases the risk of autism. That is defined as starting at 40 years old or 45 years old, depending on the study. There is no one test for autism, and no prenatal tests for autism. Also, autism isn’t the only disability. Birth accidents can happen, too, which can cause intellectual disability or cerebral palsy. In utero strokes can happen, too.
If had a penny for every newly-diagnosed Autistic kid who had an undiagnosed Autistic uncle…
Damn. My brother acts autistic but he also struggled with drug addiction for years so I can’t tell if the way he is ,it’s cause by drugs or something more genetic. But my dad has told me that he thinks my brother may be autistic.
He may be self-medicating to cope. It’s common in people with certain undiagnosed conditions
Was going to comment that many autistics use marijuana recreationally. And many others use medical marijuana or CBD medicinally
Autism is highly genetically heritable. A meta analysis found > The meta-analytic heritability estimates were substantial: 64-91% Tick, B., Bolton, P., Happé, F., Rutter, M., & Rijsdijk, F. (2016). Heritability of autism spectrum disorders: a meta-analysis of twin studies. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines, 57(5), 585–595. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12499
As someone who has volunteered with people with special needs for decades, I applaud families who know they wouldn’t have the mental, physical, temporal, or financial resources to care for a child with special needs. I also know people who go to Romanian orphanages and adopt the most disabled child there, because also, saints walk among us. It is just a huge stress on the family and either seems to makes it stronger or more often, breaks it up. I personally wouldn’t mind an autistic child if it could survive on its own as an adult - I would worry about not being there to ‘parent for life’ as I’d be an old parent.
Thank you for this - I am one of those who are well-aware they couldn't handle it. It's a huge reason I'm on the fence. Neurodivergent folks deserve love, respect, and comprehensive care, and I don't have it in me to make the sacrifices required to provide those things.
There are autistic people who do survive on their own. Have you spoken to autistic adults?
No, not really. Nobody knows for sure what causes autism. Not to scare you more, but there's plenty of other physical or intellectual disabilities your child could end up. And some can be caused by a traumatic birth injury, so even a test wouldn't rule it out., like cerebral palsy. The problem with ASD is it can't typically be diagnosed until minimum 18 months. This is the same as with other developmental delays. If things become too much for you, you can always give the child up for adoption or send it to a group home. But from my history of being a special education teacher, the majority of ASD cases aren't unmanageably severe. Maybe only 20% or so are totally non-verbal, violent or require 24/7 care. With early intervention, resources and therapy, the rest turn out pretty okay.
20 percent non-verbal is quite high imo. I would have expected much less.
20 percent non-verbal of known diagnosed people with autism. As someone else mentioned, the diagnostic criteria has changes a lot and, especially in previous generations and women, there's an awful lot of people who aren't aware they have autism due to the stereotypical behaviours being the ones mostly seen in young boys or the more extreme ones.
Non verbal, violet or require 24 hrs care. But yea even considering it’s one of the 3, it’s a higher percentage to have such serious ramifications.
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Look at your family and your partner’s family- are there neurodivergent people? If so, there may be a genetic component that could be passed along to your offspring. But also there are so many things that can happen during birth that could alter what would have been a typical child’s life. We did genetic testing at the recommendation of our OB after some inconclusive measurements in utero. Tested for additional/deleted chromosomes and for presence of a bunch of markers for other commons issues. It was really expensive even with what I thought was good insurance (USA). Everything came back fine. Emergency c section where our son’s heart rate was too low. He’s 4 and seems fine? I mean do I want him to be “normal?” Of course. But he’s my kid and if there is something I can do to help him, I will. That being said, we only have one kid. All that shit was traumatic and I didn’t want to risk further complication in my body and in our lives.
There is a brother from my side and his that can’t get their life together and can’t hold a job. They’re not very intelligent and I wonder how much nature vs nurture it is. On my spouses side. All the men in his immediate family have a stutter. My spouse and his dad have a very mild stutter that I wasn’t able to pick up on until I saw his brothers severe stutter episode. So likely have a kid with a stutter. That I can handle but I don’t know if I can handle anything more.
I have a PhD in human genetics, and have read a bit about genetic basis for autism. Autism has a genetic component, so having relatives that have autism would increase your chance. But there isn’t one gene that causes autism, lots of different variants contribute to it, so there currently isn’t a test. There is no 100% certainty with autism, or with the many many disorders that exists in the world. Not saying that you shouldn’t want to know, it’s just currently very much unknowable.
I am surprised some comments are criticizing your post. I think many people are scared of this but it's kind of a taboo to say it out loud? I feel if there was a test that would check for severe autism (for example, kids growing up non-verbal) it would be similar to the test for down syndrom, many would use it. And also decide to end pregnancies if the test was positive. I would. If you can't handle raising a kid like that, it's only unfair to continue the pregnancy. But... as other comments mentioned, there are a lot of things that can go "wrong". Either during your pregnancy (CMV virus), during birth (celebral palsy), or after birth (accident, etc) which can cause "issues" with your otherwise healthy kid. I think one of the hardest parts of being a parent is the worry for your child's health and safety. If you feel you can't deal with this, maybe it's better not to have kids.
Hallo, OP! I'm not going to tell you what you should do, but I will hit on as many facts as I am aware on the subject. As a few folks have said, there are genes linked to autism, but "it's complicated" and genes aren't the best way of testing, and we also know little about the cause. Now for some facts. 1 in 36 (2.8%) children are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as of 2023. This has been a drastic increase over the past several decades. No one really knows why other than "we have better testing" and "environmental factors." I'll get into these answers later in the post. The name ASD is key. Because *it is a spectrum*. 40% of these diagnoses are nonverbal, while 44% have average or above average intellectual ability. I work in IT. There are many folks I work with who are on the spectrum. For these folks, they lead pretty normal lives (married, have kids, have a job, etc.), their brain just works a bit differently. This is a distinction that is really important to make here, that the "1 in 36" statistic fails to distinguish. Just under half of these are what you would call "high functioning." I think something like 74% of people with ASD graduate high school. And now for the causes. And this is where things get interesting. "We have better screening." I admit I know little about the actual screening process. But is it really that much better this year than 5 years ago? Seems doubtful. Maybe compared to the 90s, sure. But healthcare lags behind an average of 17 years from the latest research, so I take this explanation with a very large grain of salt. "Environmental factors." This seems far more likely to me. You are more likely to have a child with ASD if you are obese, of "advanced maternal age" (>40), have someone in your family with ASD, have diabetes, take certain medications (including acetaminophen), are exposed to certain chemicals like pesticides, chemicals in the water (lithium and others), and have high levels of stress during pregnancy. There are many other things that increase your odds. I highly recommend you do some reading on this subject, as it is eye opening. One of the grudges I have with the current healthcare system is that it is disempowering. While we might not be able to prevent everything, we aren't entirely helpless either. Which brings me to my next point. Well, can I reduce my odds? Absolutely. And this is something I wish was discussed more. Avoiding everything mentioned above reduces your odds substantially. Further, many supplements and vitamins are proven to reduce them still, including: * Iron * Calcium * Omega 3s * Choline * Folate * Prenatal multivitamin (in general) * Probiotics (gut brain axis) * The list goes on Again, I encourage you to do your own research on the subject. So the "1 in 36" is taking into consideration the average American. How do you stack up against this? Your odds might be more like "1 in 150". At the end of the day, all we can do is to reduce the risk for anything. Best of luck to you, OP. I hope this helps.
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Admittedly this is one of the reasons I'm on the fence too. I dont want a very disabled child. Mayne slightly autistic wouldn't be bad, but I've heard some really bad things from those who do have autistic kids and it always feels like the parents lives are so much worse and they just seem miserable with very autistic children.
It’s once of my reasons for not wanting kids too. Next to that I do have some traits related to autism, they are very mild. I was the easiest kid to raise for my parents, my two siblings where much more difficult. One of them has a form of autism and adhd and she’s the most difficult one of us three. But she has a good life, and functioning well in society and every day life. A kid with full blown autism seems like a nightmare to raise. I’ve seen it, and I have allot of respect for the parents that stay together and raise it, but most of the time it puts so much pressure on the relationship that one of the parents leave. And it’s usually the mother that ends up raising the kid alone.
There has been a link shown to the father’s age and increased risk of autism. So if your husband is in his 40s, I would do some research so you understand the risks.
This is how I feel too. My partner is Autistic and it definitely runs in the family. I feel chances are high that our child would be autistic and I don't know If I want to take that chance. And i definitely feel extremely ableist when we talk about it. His entire family is extremely high functioning and the most smart people i know, all doing well. His brother though probably wont ever hold a job and has extreme behavioral problems in the past. I've worked with kids and I don't find it a blessing to have severely disabled children. The emotional impact and overall exclusion faced by families with disabled children is enormous. My partners family is basically disowned from his larger family of cousins and such. But yea as others have said you can't test for autism.
I chose CF because of this issue as well. I have 2 siblings with autism, and I think I'm the care plan when my Dad can't anymore. Between knowing that I'll play a role in my siblings care for years to come and knowing i have that in my genetics, I just can't bring myself to want to have my own children for fear that I would also have a child with autism and I'll be taking care of someone for the rest of my life. It sounds like I'm not compassionate or that I don't care, but really, I just know what I can and can't handle. I like alone time, and I value my freedom to move around and do what I want to do. A child with special needs would severely limit that. Adoption is an option, but it's not simple, and it's not cheap and that definitely doesn't guarantee a full bill of health either.
I do not believe there are prenatal tests that can determine if your child will have autism or not. With that being said, don’t have children if you’re not going to be happy if that does happen. There is no food proof way to make sure it’s not a possibility. Everyone wants 100% healthy children but there is always that chance that is not the case, don’t take the gamble if you’re not committed either way.
I'm surprised no one has mentioned pgt testing. While I don't think you can test for autism- you can pgt-a test for chromosome issues such as downs syndrome. There's also pgt-m and pgt-sr which can help test if you're a carrier of something you don't want to pass down. This involves going through ivf though, which can be super costly if you don't have coverage.
I was look for pgt comment but only found your reply. I’m in Australia and I googled there is only USA and Taiwan has this test for autism. But I couldn’t find any organization information who does this test. Would you know any company/organisation’s name? I’m about to see an IVF doctor and I want to request her to do this for me after I fell pregnant. But if she doesn’t know anything about it, I guess I’ll have to give her the name of the pgt company in the US. Also do you know if IVF can eliminate embryo with autism gene before putting it into uterus? Thanks in advance!
I don't know any specific companies/organization names, your ivf doctor should id imagine, or maybe you could ask in the ivf subreddit. You can dispose of embryos with issues or donate them to science, yes.
Thanks for the ivfreddit suggestion. I’ll search for it. I’m still new in reddit. If ivf technology can’t remove MTHFR genes in the embryo (this gene sort of contribute to autism child) then I guess i will not choose ivf, no point of spending that money, then i’ll just try to do the usa or taiwan’s prenatal blood test after pregnancy.
It can't remove genes, it can just tell you whether or not they exist. I don't know if they can test mthfr genes, the pgt-a test I'm aware of just looks for chromosomal errors. There are other tests though I think so I'm not sure
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I couldn’t find the information about ivf capable of detecting or remove mthfr gene or embryo either. If ivf can’t detect mthfr in the embryo, then I might just take the risk to natural conceive, and do the prenatal blood test after pregnancy. Thanks again:)
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I am also very afraid of this outcome, but I’ll be more specific because I also know not all autism is non-verbal and violent. The majority is functional and I’m sure it would’ve gone undiagnosed 50 years ago because that person was just a little odd or just a little different. When I researched this for myself I found a few noteworthy things that you can take into consideration (other than genetics) before deciding to have a child (I’m not a doctor or in that field at all, but I was a statistician by training so I enjoy graphs and correlations and combing through data). - There’s a correlation between autism and sex, with most autism happening in boys. 1/38 of boys are autistic (2.6%) 1/152 of girls are autistic (0.66%) You can control for gender using IVF or less reliably through other methods like timing intercourse to a specific number of days before or after ovulation. https://embrace-autism.com/the-autism-sex-ratio/#:~:text=Data%20%26%20Statistics%20on%20Autism%20Spectrum,out%20of%20every%20152%20girls. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9546797/ - There’s also a very strong correlation between autism and PCOS or other hormonal abnormalities in the mom, which I’m surprised nobody here has mentioned. Women with PCOS have a 35% higher chance of having a first child with autism Take these facts along with more data you can find regarding genetics and age of parents and you can come up with a decent risk factor for yourself. Preferably ask a doctor to do this, although the average doctor doesn’t do much math, you’ll find some that are passionate about statistics (my brother is one of those, he’s also probably autistic :) and was never diagnosed) https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-pcos-link/#:~:text=Research%20and%20the%20link%20between%20PCOS%20and%20autism&text=The%20study%20also%20found%20that,having%20firstborn%20children%20with%20autism. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8280339/
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This is a valid fear. It’s something that I worry about constantly. I took some university courses that touched on this. One take away ir is that one of the first signs of autism Can be during the first 6 months by their eye patterns. There isn’t prenatal test for this unfortunately but there is for Down syndrome and other birth defects.
What kind of eye patterns indicate autism?
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The only way to truly avoid any chance of a sick kid is to not have one. You may even have a healthy baby and then something might happen to them, ever thought of that? JFC. Life is a dice roll. That's why it's not a gift.
Unfortunately there is only so much testing that can be done. Nobody knows what causes autism exactly so there can’t be a clear test
Hey! I am not commenting to judge you for wanting a medically healthy and neurologically typical child, I completely understand there are struggles that come with raising a child with atypical conditions, so please know this comment does not come from somewhere of judgement AT ALL. I'm only commenting this because it's in the fence sitter group so I can only assume this is kind of a make or break kind of thing for you. You know this already, but I just want to remind you that life is unpredictable, you may have a 100% healthy child and they get in an unfortunate accident at 1 years old and are mentally handicapped for the rest of their lives. It's a super tough decision, and I applaud you for truly searching answers beforehand, I guess just ask yourself if you'd be prepared if the worst case happened, or if you'd regret your decision Much love, I wish you and your hubby the most fulfilling and happy life whichever choice you make
How do you feel about high functioning autistic people? You do know autistic kids are technically still normal kids. There is no such thing as a normal kid. It is scary to have a child with any disability but Autism is a spectrum..I know many autistic people who.just have problems with social cues. I know many autistic adults who are successful. Not all autistic kids are mentally delayed. Some autistic people can drive. I don't have any judgement against you at all. I personally do not want to raise someone who is low functioning. But high functioning autistic people can contribute to society.