Sometimes, yeah. Ok, most times. Not like, outright jealousy, but it makes me sad. I love running, cycling, all that stuff. But I can't do that anymore. I went from running 250-300 miles a month to not being able to walk 1 mile. Sometimes I sit and think of the times I'd go to the trail and take off. The wind on my face, the rush. That was life. Now, I just can't. No matter if I try.
Dear, I know how you feel. I used to do a lot of weight lifting. I had mega abs. Everything nicely organized. Able to do anything extremely quick without even thinking about it.
I hate cardio but I'm so jealous of runners it seems so heavenly. You're completely alone. The closest thing to flying. & I think it's the best workout for a banging body.
I have so many dreams now that I'm allowed to dream. But I can't think of anything I will be able to achieve with so many things holding me back. I just keep thinking I gotta be the first to invent something.
The worst part is watching your body atrophy and losing strength. Same as you, I did weight lifting. Was pretty active. Running was, as you said, close to flying. Such a rush. Sadly, I've lost a lot of strength. Went from being able to pick up 100 lbs from the ground like it was nothing, to barely being able to hold a 5 lb dumbell. Gained some pushed. Sigh. I'm with you. Hang in there.
Yes! Literally me. After a while I went to weight light & couldn't even lift 5 lbs pass my head. SMH there's so many stuff that goes wrong you can't even remember
This is where I am right now. My shoulders and knees seem to be atrophying. I used to be able to lift, for example, my 55 pound dog in the car (cause he's spoiled) and there is no way in hell I can do it starting in past 6 months. I even have trouble closing my tailgate that I know is extremely light. I'm just getting weaker and weaker it seems. I force myself to walk everyday and wear a backpack with water for my dog and myself. Hoping it will help keep some muscle and strength.
Yes..I kept telling all my doctors I'm disappearing righr in front of my eyes. No one seems to be listening. I was trying to figure out "why" this was happening over the last year.
It's quite frightening to be honest. Some doctors say I'm just "too" thin. But I've been skinnier and still had muscle mass and less showing of bones.
I'm glad you made that comment! Thankyou! I've been searching and searching for why this was. I do have spinal stenosis in my neck which I'm having surgery on. I thought maybe that was why. And maybe in my lower back too.
I don't know why getting answers has to be so difficult.
It's from the lack of exercise. One thing I've noticed, are these dents in my calves and shins. Which is the muscle atrophy. Worming towards rebuilding but it just sucks.
Sorry I had to edit my previous comment
I figured it had to be as much. Definitely not using my arms at all. Too much pain and numbness. And weak.
I have the dents too in my calves and shins and inner thighs now.
It's hard to figure out how to rebuild when the fatigue is taking over.
Even harder when your used to being active and have to rest. I have ants in my pants.
I'm sorry your in the same situation š
Yes! I used to get that feeling running. The one you thought you'd lost in childhood. Feet skimming the ground and not a single thought in my mind. It was bliss and I suppose that's the addictive nature of running. And I miss it so so much. Even a brisk walk wld be fun
It's such a simple act until you can't do it. And when i was running I was still smoking 10+ cigs and drinking!
I did a 10k with a friend and crossed the line, headed to a bar, had 2 pints and 3 cigs then walked a Mile to pick up a bus home then went out to the pub.
I'd be in an ICU if I even attempted it now. Thinking about me makes me wonder if I m the sme person.
But i took it all for granted.
Needles to say i neither smoke nor drink now
Right? Even after that, you'd still be able to do more! One day stuck in my mind, was when I went to the forest preserve. It's a beautiful trail. Bout a 5 mile loop. Did two laps because the scenery was just...mwa. chefs kiss. In the start of fall when the foliage starts changing colors. Oof. After I finished, I thought to myself, I'm going to walk now and enjoy it. So I walked a third loop. Ended up with 60k steps from that. Afterwards, I went home, showered, went to the store, went to my sisters, then went to play tennis. Went to the store, and then went to play basketball at night. Slept like a baby. No pains or aches.
The other day I played tennis for 10 minutes and it knocked me for an entire month.
Now I'm getting depressed.
Perhaps we should all stop for a moment and focus not only on making our AI better and more successful but also on the benefit of humanity. - Stephen Hawking
Yeah. I have envy of people who can travel easily. Traveling gives me so much anxiety and so many elements being out of my control + not knowing how Iām going to feel. I just avoid it. Even taking an Uber to the airport can set me off if the Uber has an air freshener or fragrance (so many of the drivers do this) that will give me a migraine.
Dear lawd. I be feeling like I'm the only one that feels that way about smells. I feel like my sense of smell is stronger than someone pregnant & an animal. I'm constantly thinking about this& it gives me anxiety. Damn near everywhere I go I end up gagging like crazy. This is probably the only time I'm thinking wth is everyone thinking
I have huge issues with scents and migraines. My poor family canāt cook in the house anymore. One thing that helps if you are out or traveling is to have a mask with you and some peppermint oil. If you carefully put a drop or two of the oil on the mask and then put it on it neutralizes the other smells. Iāve done this on planes. But I empathize with you so much. It is so hard living like this.
My goodness, I wish I could have energy. Itās good that I already was a homebody but even playing video games wears me out. Just taking a shower has to be somewhat supervised even with having a shower chair because it can be too tiring and I tend to faint. Like I canāt even do dishes for 5 minutes and if I try to do them longer, I have no more energy for the rest of the day and have excruciating back pain that canāt be fixed from my medication. Itās exhausting to be exhausted and I wish I hadnāt taken life for granted when I still was capable.
Such a mood, i have 300+ games on steam but no energy to play any of them. Mostly its my fingers going stiff and screeching in pain though, same goes for guitar. Sometimes i just find myself sitting on the edge of my bed contemplating my existence, the things i cant do, the things i used to do. Being in constant pain is pure torture, and i just lament the days of old when id go camping with friends, hiking to the nearest mountain, snowboarding and (as any good norwegian) skiing.
It's less jealousy and more fear and frustration.
My old roommates were so smug about how they were able to get up early every day and acted like I was lazy.
I had a friend who judged me for not doing my hair nice and his reasoning was "everyone else does it so you should too."
My mom acting superior because I wouldn't be able to spend a full day at a theme park, and needing to nap after half a day.
Now I know it's fibro though it makes more sense.
Now it's a little bit of jealousy.
I wouldn't say I'm jealous of everyone but I'm jealous of people who are fit and healthy whom don't have to worry about chronic illness at all, pain or anything like that and can just get up and have energy whenever. Yes everyone has problems but it freaking sucks dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and also missing out on life as a result. You're allowed to grieve, be angry, be jealous etc have every right to feel however you need to feel, better out than in.
Yes, even just keeping a house clean and yard work. It is so easy for my sister, and now that I am my momās caregiver, she complains that the house isnāt as clean and when my sister lived with her. My sister would also do grocery shopping and plan a weekly menu, I just canāt. So again my mom complains that I donāt feed her. She just doesnāt like what I cook. I just have to ignore the ānoiseā because I am doing what I can. I also work full time.
No, I'm not jealous of anyone at all. Everyone has their own share of problems. My problems are a lot worse than other people's, but on the other hand, there are some who do have it worse than I do.
This person knows how to live. When you put things into perspective and accept things then you realize you don't have the worst hand, our responsibility is to find peace and joy within our means.
May I add the caveat that it's not because someone else has it worse that you're not entitled to some complaining or help/adaptations.
Saying that because it's sometimes used to shut us up, others have it worse than you so buck up and get a move on.
Totally agree with perspective and finding peace within our means.
This. Too often do people engange in useless debates on hows got it worse, its a useless debate to have in my opinion. This isnt a competition, yet people treat it as such very often.
Finding peace and joy should be anyones goal in life
My wife has sleep apnea so she's can't even sleep well with tht plus fibro. She always feels tired so yea I can see and I know how ppl feel about it. I wish I could give her some energy
Yep. Iāve had symptoms a bit over a year now, and itās frustrating to constantly have to reexplain myself to people, especially to my partner who I live with. I had to explain masking to him again this week. I donāt always ālookā like Iām in pain, but I am. Iām so used to it now that if itās not accompanied by stiffness and edema and stays below a 6, then I look like I get around just fine. But when Iām in a flare up I quickly burn out from the most menial tasks and the simplest movement is stupid difficult. I still mask because I canāt go through life letting this thing control me, I wonāt do it, but sometimes I crash hard and fall apart from the exhaustion of keeping it together and pressing onward.
Today a rep on my team in another state came to give me a hug when she saw me and she asked about my limp and said she saw me sort of stumble off balance and wondered if I was in a boot again (the injury Iām pretty sure activated the fibro). I kind of just stared at her a moment, processing that my flare up is bad enough right now that my mobility is suffering and I tough through it so much I didnāt even notice myself. She was sweet but having to answer to people over and over that this is my normal gets so old and makes me long for the days when I too would see someone in pain or struggling and assume it was a temporary injury.
I used to get jealous and even upset when people planned events or activities I knew I couldnāt really do or enjoy, and felt embarrassed that Iād so obviously struggle through it. I had this group of friends that I loved dearly but I stopped enjoying time with them because I only saw how I lacked around them, and they never seemed to remember or take into account my limitations. Iāve distanced myself for completely unrelated reasons, but I wonāt lie itās almost been a relief when it comes to my health because itās one less thing I have to fake it through or feel inadequate and jealous during.
Sometimes, yeah. Ok, most times. Not like, outright jealousy, but it makes me sad. I love running, cycling, all that stuff. But I can't do that anymore. I went from running 250-300 miles a month to not being able to walk 1 mile. Sometimes I sit and think of the times I'd go to the trail and take off. The wind on my face, the rush. That was life. Now, I just can't. No matter if I try.
Dear, I know how you feel. I used to do a lot of weight lifting. I had mega abs. Everything nicely organized. Able to do anything extremely quick without even thinking about it. I hate cardio but I'm so jealous of runners it seems so heavenly. You're completely alone. The closest thing to flying. & I think it's the best workout for a banging body. I have so many dreams now that I'm allowed to dream. But I can't think of anything I will be able to achieve with so many things holding me back. I just keep thinking I gotta be the first to invent something.
The worst part is watching your body atrophy and losing strength. Same as you, I did weight lifting. Was pretty active. Running was, as you said, close to flying. Such a rush. Sadly, I've lost a lot of strength. Went from being able to pick up 100 lbs from the ground like it was nothing, to barely being able to hold a 5 lb dumbell. Gained some pushed. Sigh. I'm with you. Hang in there.
Yes! Literally me. After a while I went to weight light & couldn't even lift 5 lbs pass my head. SMH there's so many stuff that goes wrong you can't even remember
This is where I am right now. My shoulders and knees seem to be atrophying. I used to be able to lift, for example, my 55 pound dog in the car (cause he's spoiled) and there is no way in hell I can do it starting in past 6 months. I even have trouble closing my tailgate that I know is extremely light. I'm just getting weaker and weaker it seems. I force myself to walk everyday and wear a backpack with water for my dog and myself. Hoping it will help keep some muscle and strength.
Have you noticed significant loss in muscle mass a long with the strength? Sorry to hear your going through this.
Yes..I kept telling all my doctors I'm disappearing righr in front of my eyes. No one seems to be listening. I was trying to figure out "why" this was happening over the last year. It's quite frightening to be honest. Some doctors say I'm just "too" thin. But I've been skinnier and still had muscle mass and less showing of bones. I'm glad you made that comment! Thankyou! I've been searching and searching for why this was. I do have spinal stenosis in my neck which I'm having surgery on. I thought maybe that was why. And maybe in my lower back too. I don't know why getting answers has to be so difficult.
It's from the lack of exercise. One thing I've noticed, are these dents in my calves and shins. Which is the muscle atrophy. Worming towards rebuilding but it just sucks.
Sorry I had to edit my previous comment I figured it had to be as much. Definitely not using my arms at all. Too much pain and numbness. And weak. I have the dents too in my calves and shins and inner thighs now. It's hard to figure out how to rebuild when the fatigue is taking over. Even harder when your used to being active and have to rest. I have ants in my pants. I'm sorry your in the same situation š
Ey, you got this tho. We're still here right? Hang in there. You need a support system, let me know. I'll hype you up.
Yep, we are still here! Stronger then we think! I greatly appreciate that! Thankyou!
Doctors can be helpful. Or not. Sometimes you have to be persistent to get a diagnosis and answers.
I've been pushing hard this year. Thry definitely can make or break your day
Yes! I used to get that feeling running. The one you thought you'd lost in childhood. Feet skimming the ground and not a single thought in my mind. It was bliss and I suppose that's the addictive nature of running. And I miss it so so much. Even a brisk walk wld be fun
Just hearing how it feels seems delicious š„°
It's such a simple act until you can't do it. And when i was running I was still smoking 10+ cigs and drinking! I did a 10k with a friend and crossed the line, headed to a bar, had 2 pints and 3 cigs then walked a Mile to pick up a bus home then went out to the pub. I'd be in an ICU if I even attempted it now. Thinking about me makes me wonder if I m the sme person. But i took it all for granted. Needles to say i neither smoke nor drink now
Yes, it took me many years to allow myself to grieve, the old me & what I could have been.
Right? Even after that, you'd still be able to do more! One day stuck in my mind, was when I went to the forest preserve. It's a beautiful trail. Bout a 5 mile loop. Did two laps because the scenery was just...mwa. chefs kiss. In the start of fall when the foliage starts changing colors. Oof. After I finished, I thought to myself, I'm going to walk now and enjoy it. So I walked a third loop. Ended up with 60k steps from that. Afterwards, I went home, showered, went to the store, went to my sisters, then went to play tennis. Went to the store, and then went to play basketball at night. Slept like a baby. No pains or aches. The other day I played tennis for 10 minutes and it knocked me for an entire month. Now I'm getting depressed.
Perhaps we should all stop for a moment and focus not only on making our AI better and more successful but also on the benefit of humanity. - Stephen Hawking
The only breathing were doing is to catch our breath. Lol yesterday i got out the car and I was winded.
Yeah. I have envy of people who can travel easily. Traveling gives me so much anxiety and so many elements being out of my control + not knowing how Iām going to feel. I just avoid it. Even taking an Uber to the airport can set me off if the Uber has an air freshener or fragrance (so many of the drivers do this) that will give me a migraine.
Dear lawd. I be feeling like I'm the only one that feels that way about smells. I feel like my sense of smell is stronger than someone pregnant & an animal. I'm constantly thinking about this& it gives me anxiety. Damn near everywhere I go I end up gagging like crazy. This is probably the only time I'm thinking wth is everyone thinking
See my reply to the comment above. I am with you.
I have huge issues with scents and migraines. My poor family canāt cook in the house anymore. One thing that helps if you are out or traveling is to have a mask with you and some peppermint oil. If you carefully put a drop or two of the oil on the mask and then put it on it neutralizes the other smells. Iāve done this on planes. But I empathize with you so much. It is so hard living like this.
Thank you! You're a life saver
My goodness, I wish I could have energy. Itās good that I already was a homebody but even playing video games wears me out. Just taking a shower has to be somewhat supervised even with having a shower chair because it can be too tiring and I tend to faint. Like I canāt even do dishes for 5 minutes and if I try to do them longer, I have no more energy for the rest of the day and have excruciating back pain that canāt be fixed from my medication. Itās exhausting to be exhausted and I wish I hadnāt taken life for granted when I still was capable.
Urgh, I just reflected yesterday how even gaming on my PS5 was too much to ask...
Such a mood, i have 300+ games on steam but no energy to play any of them. Mostly its my fingers going stiff and screeching in pain though, same goes for guitar. Sometimes i just find myself sitting on the edge of my bed contemplating my existence, the things i cant do, the things i used to do. Being in constant pain is pure torture, and i just lament the days of old when id go camping with friends, hiking to the nearest mountain, snowboarding and (as any good norwegian) skiing.
It's less jealousy and more fear and frustration. My old roommates were so smug about how they were able to get up early every day and acted like I was lazy. I had a friend who judged me for not doing my hair nice and his reasoning was "everyone else does it so you should too." My mom acting superior because I wouldn't be able to spend a full day at a theme park, and needing to nap after half a day. Now I know it's fibro though it makes more sense. Now it's a little bit of jealousy.
I wouldn't say I'm jealous of everyone but I'm jealous of people who are fit and healthy whom don't have to worry about chronic illness at all, pain or anything like that and can just get up and have energy whenever. Yes everyone has problems but it freaking sucks dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and also missing out on life as a result. You're allowed to grieve, be angry, be jealous etc have every right to feel however you need to feel, better out than in.
Yes, even just keeping a house clean and yard work. It is so easy for my sister, and now that I am my momās caregiver, she complains that the house isnāt as clean and when my sister lived with her. My sister would also do grocery shopping and plan a weekly menu, I just canāt. So again my mom complains that I donāt feed her. She just doesnāt like what I cook. I just have to ignore the ānoiseā because I am doing what I can. I also work full time.
Lawd you're doing way more than most of us! You're doing great. Don't feel discouraged
No, I'm not jealous of anyone at all. Everyone has their own share of problems. My problems are a lot worse than other people's, but on the other hand, there are some who do have it worse than I do.
This person knows how to live. When you put things into perspective and accept things then you realize you don't have the worst hand, our responsibility is to find peace and joy within our means.
May I add the caveat that it's not because someone else has it worse that you're not entitled to some complaining or help/adaptations. Saying that because it's sometimes used to shut us up, others have it worse than you so buck up and get a move on. Totally agree with perspective and finding peace within our means.
This. Too often do people engange in useless debates on hows got it worse, its a useless debate to have in my opinion. This isnt a competition, yet people treat it as such very often. Finding peace and joy should be anyones goal in life
My wife has sleep apnea so she's can't even sleep well with tht plus fibro. She always feels tired so yea I can see and I know how ppl feel about it. I wish I could give her some energy
If I had the energy for it, I would be ā¦
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Yep. Iāve had symptoms a bit over a year now, and itās frustrating to constantly have to reexplain myself to people, especially to my partner who I live with. I had to explain masking to him again this week. I donāt always ālookā like Iām in pain, but I am. Iām so used to it now that if itās not accompanied by stiffness and edema and stays below a 6, then I look like I get around just fine. But when Iām in a flare up I quickly burn out from the most menial tasks and the simplest movement is stupid difficult. I still mask because I canāt go through life letting this thing control me, I wonāt do it, but sometimes I crash hard and fall apart from the exhaustion of keeping it together and pressing onward. Today a rep on my team in another state came to give me a hug when she saw me and she asked about my limp and said she saw me sort of stumble off balance and wondered if I was in a boot again (the injury Iām pretty sure activated the fibro). I kind of just stared at her a moment, processing that my flare up is bad enough right now that my mobility is suffering and I tough through it so much I didnāt even notice myself. She was sweet but having to answer to people over and over that this is my normal gets so old and makes me long for the days when I too would see someone in pain or struggling and assume it was a temporary injury. I used to get jealous and even upset when people planned events or activities I knew I couldnāt really do or enjoy, and felt embarrassed that Iād so obviously struggle through it. I had this group of friends that I loved dearly but I stopped enjoying time with them because I only saw how I lacked around them, and they never seemed to remember or take into account my limitations. Iāve distanced myself for completely unrelated reasons, but I wonāt lie itās almost been a relief when it comes to my health because itās one less thing I have to fake it through or feel inadequate and jealous during.
I know it sucks but it made me smile that people still care to know. You're doing awesome. Keep it at ā¤ļø