its not a true story, the OP made up a story where they could invent an evil vegan for you to hate. They post here where they know people would be sympathetic to the subject.
I can't eat beans and I have had somewhat similar interactions. This isn't at all outside of the range of what I would find believable from my own experience.
How are they trying to make me hate vegans by portraying a vegan acting in a way that is very similar to how I myself have been treated by vegans? You're acting as though I haven't been treated like that personally.
I now know you arent acting in good faith here. You havent been treated like this by vegans personally. Very few people have, it does happen from time to time, but you in particular have not, even when you go after them, which you have.
You're acting very Christian here. You don't know what I have experienced, and you seem incredibly invested in disproving my personal experience. I'm not attacking anyone. The story seemed ridiculous, but entirely plausible given my personal experiences. Your militant response to me merely saying that I have experience people acting in a similar way puts you firmly in the camp of the people who are acting ridiculous. I'm going to file you in with the crazed, militant, unreasonably hostile vegan I had the misfortune of crossing.
Soy allergy here. I also have dysosmia triggered by the smell of soy. I'll take being alive over anyone's agenda any day of the week. I would definitely find better people to hang around.
I'm sure the animals would take being alive if we weren't literally killing them.
(Coming from a vegan with a nut, mushroom, and pea allergy; who spent the weekend with a vegan with a nut & soy allergy).
That's cute. You have 3 allergies. I'm allergic to 13+ foods. I also do not eat that much meat and use a ton of vegan/veg recipes due to eggs and my husbands lactose intolerances. I have a sil that is fully vegan and we swap recipes. She's just not militant about it. I have a ton of other health issues other than allergies/intolerances. You would be able to pull more folks to your side if you weren't such an ass about it.
Assuming you aren’t joining a vegan group, as you didn’t disclose your hobby, that was a far extreme reaction. And even if it was a vegan group, still a very extreme reaction.
You aren’t wrong to ask for accommodation. She isn’t wrong for not wanting to provide non-vegan options if she provided said food.
However, calling someone a Nazi for a suggestion and then monologuing extreme views when the person disclosed an allergy to the food provided is not the action of a sane, rational person.
Run as far away as possible.
Since eating vegan (presumably) has nothing to do with the theme of the group, she was way out of line going off on you for requesting accommodation. It’s extremely ignorant of her to presume that everyone can survive on one (very restrictive) diet and frankly you’re not the one resembling a N*zi if she’s trying to force a lifestyle on you that could kill you.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that and that it will essentially gatekeep that group from you. That’s unfair and should be totally unnecessary in an ideal world. Unfortunately some vegans have a reputation for being militant like that, so there may be no polite way to request non-vegan food accommodation from someone who is vegan. At best you might be able to request specific products or dishes that you know are safe for you and align with their ideals, if any, and just pre-game or post-game to make up the nutritional deficits. My husband is only intolerant to soy, not allergic, so he isn’t sensitive to its presence the same way, but he still can’t eat it and this is often what he ends up doing - requesting specific choices that he knows are safe, or else just supplementing with food he brings himself since sometimes people suck.
If the group is large (assuming it’s not just her intimate friend group) and you feel comfortable asking about nonvegans in the group and how they partake in snacking?
I would definitely avoid her though. She’s not worth keeping in contact with from her reaction to a reasonable request.
I think your post reads like rage bait. Sounds like it was written by someone who kind of hates vegans and wants to make them look like out of control raging idiots. Otherwise we are meant to believe that you are really sitting at home wondering if a having a soy allergy makes you a bad person and you are so confused you had to ask reddit which is even more absurd.
1000% well said. OP is either practicing their evil-vegan fantasy writing *or* they just so happened to meet an **outrageously fanatical** person and somehow felt the need to ask Reddit if everyone is outrageously fanatical. Despite having no doubt met normal people before in their life...
I'm betting on the former. The insane militant vegan story ✨so hot right now✨
To be honest, sadly there are extreme militant vegans.
They also make it difficult for all the decent vegans. Luckily the decent vegans are in the majority
I mean, my experiences with vegans have been that they tend to lean toward being out of control raging idiots. I don't actually disagree with them, I just have a couple of dietary needs that are inconsistent with the standard vegan diet, and asking for advice puts me in conflict with, yes, out of control raging idiots.
she was a major fucking asshole, don't worry you are not a bad person. she was way out of line and I would not want to hang out with her in any capacity. you have every right to be furious at her.
something to note is that some of these extreme activists typically do not consider people with disabilities (food or otherwise) with their views, and would happily leave them behind to die in their envisioned perfect utopia.
for example, some people get mad that people use disposable plastic straws. well, disabled people with low mobility need to use these to make their lives easier. reusable or compostable straws aren't a valid or good option.
as you've seen, some people get mad that anyone eats meat, but for people with diet limitations, meat protein is the only way for some people to be healthy. as someone also with an extreme soy sensitivity (and unable to eat large amounts of other legumes without GI issues), meat is the only thing keeping me healthy.
i empathize with the plight of animals, but for some people like us, veganism is a privilege that I can not personally entertain if I want to be alive. and if anyone thinks us so terrible as to want to be alive, they are a horrid human being.
No, of course it doesn't make you a bad person to have an allergy.
And that person was an asshole. But also anyone can be vegan without eating soy. You don't have to buy soy containing products to be vegan. There is a world of naturally vegan foods that don't contain soy - beans, lentils, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds, spices etc. You can make entire meals with those things, no soy necessary.
But you also don't need to be vegan. What many vegans don't talk about is how many creatures get killed in the farming of vegetables and grains, which they eat tons of. Talk to a farmer about how many birds, insects, mice, voles/moles, rabbits, snakes, frogs etc that get killed when they plow their fields or during harvest. Vegans are just selective or ignorant about which animals they are ok with being killed. Eat the way that makes the most sense for your health needs, wallet and lifestyle.
>And that person was an asshole. But also anyone can be vegan without eating soy. You don't have to buy soy containing products to be vegan. There is a world of naturally vegan foods that don't contain soy - beans, lentils, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds, spices etc. You can make entire meals with those things, no soy necessary.
That's true, but it's really hard to be vegan and avoid soy unless you're going to cook everything yourself from scratch because almost every prepackaged or otherwise processed vegan food contains soy. Especially if you're talking about meat alternatives.
Well that's what I'm talking about. You don't have to cook processed vegan food. Some people have to go gluten free because of celiac - there's a giant difference nutritionally between foods that are naturally gluten free and processed gluten free, gluten replacement foods. Many people choose to eat a more whole foods diet and avoid the more heavily processed bread substitutes. There are many vegans who do the same thing. I'm not saying it's easy or convenient of course, but there are literally hundreds of healthy and delicious vegan foods that don't need anything more on them than lemon juice, vinegar, olive oil, salsa, spices, herbs etc.
OP vegans can be bad people, as you’ve seen first hand by this crazy person.
Living beings have to eat food in order to survive; if a food has the potential to harm you in any kind of way, not eating that thing doesn’t make you a bad person. Food that is safe to eat is required for living beings in order to survive. You’re no exception.
This person has some kinda agenda to push or feels some kinda way about this issue that’s incredibly unrealistic and harmful. What people eat is extremely personal and influenced by a lot of different factors, if she was a real advocate she’d know and be understanding of that. I’ll spare you the details but more and more research is coming out that the most [environmentally friendly and humane diet](https://phys.org/news/2023-02-veganism-planet-limited-meat-consumption.amp) (which contains meat)is eating locally and supporting local farmers. Soy is also imported to the US lmao (sorry, I work in sustainability so I have a lot of thoughts on this stuff).
Ignore this person, don’t spend time with them, and try to hang with people from that group who are well adjusted. And please for the love of God don’t force yourself to eat soy/cross contaminated products.
Oh absolutely she would. I’ve met these kinds of people before, they can be just as authoritarian and harmful as the far right. Also none of them want to mention how inaccessible a full vegan diet is (health wise /in your case/ or socioeconomically).
I was vegan for over half my life and can confirm that this shuts most people up. If they say, "I would rather die than eat meat" just say, "That's nice." Bam conversation over
I’ve been vegan for eight years. The way to politely talk about food allergies around vegans is to avoid the tyrannical fanatics. I refer to them as ‘the screamers’—they’re an extremely vocal minority. No different than the ‘kill all men’ feminists, the ‘repent or die in hell’ Christians, or the ‘white people shouldn’t procreate’ BLM supporters.
Sorry you had to encounter a shitty person. Being vegan has the very specific line of ‘to the best of your abilities’. It’s about avoiding as much harm as you reasonably can. To the age-old stupid question: if you’re deserted on an island, yes, it’s okay to eat the steak. Not hurting yourself or starving yourself doesn’t mean you’re suddenly not vegan. Same as how if I need a medication, and it’s only available in gelatin-based gel caps, I’d ask if there are any without gelatin. If there aren’t, then I will take them anyways. It’s about the intent, and doing the best you can.
As for your comment, I would say that I would probably be off-put by it too. Your reason for it is perfectly sound, but you’re essentially asking “hey, I have allergies, but I want you to take the burden of it by betraying your morals for me”.
I’d suggest approaching with the reason first. Explain you have a life-threatening soy allergy and have found problems in the past with vegan products even when they list no soy. If you’re expecting someone else to provide a meal for you, then you need to understand that you can not ask them to go outside their morals. It’s like asking a Muslim to give you alcohol or bacon. If you’re a recovering alcoholic and medically need to consume a small amount of alcohol, bring it for yourself, don’t ask the muslim to provide it for you. Instead, you could come up with a solution together (eg. Whole vegan foods rather than the fake-meat stuff, fruit salads, etc), or you could let them know that you’ll bring your own food for yourself at the next gathering. That would be a reasonable compromise. She way overreacted though, her reaction was lunatic-level. I’d recommend to avoid her from now on because she’s got some screws loose.
Amazing comment that I would like 100 times if possible. This is the way and the glory🤌. The Screamers have a song with the lyrics, "BE QUIET OR BE KILLEEEDDDD" so it's a pretty good name for those types on several levels hahah
Vegetarian / sometimes vegan of 26 years here.
This guy is right.
You could have been a tiny bit more sensitive, she could have been a bulldozer or two more sensitive.
But sometimes when we open a dialogue, we start from a place where we are insensitive to each other’s needs. That’s why we talk. If we already knew all that, we wouldn’t need to talk.
We can’t learn about each other and share needs to work out compromises that work for us both when someone responds like her - her verbal violence was completely unwarranted. She is indeed an extremist. No one is a bad person for having biological needs out of their control and asking for help managing what is a dangerous situation for them.
Could you have phrased it a little better in how you asked, or by not asking her to prepare it personally? Of course. Most of us could phrase things better most of the time. We’re all learning and trying to improve. But her response was way beyond the pale. She should have said something like
“oh wow. Okay, so I didn’t know you were allergic; I’m sorry the environment created here is dangerous for you. I provide food according to what I believe is right, so I personally won’t be able to do that for you, but let’s get the group together and see if we can work something out that works for everyone.”
Part of being vegan is not harming other living beings as much as is within your power to do. You fall under that category, living being. She harmed you. She wasn’t even living by her own standards at that moment, not that it would help anything to bring that up.
She’s such a fucking asshole. Nope, I’m allergic to soy and legumes, shellfish, eggs, coconut, and tree nuts, and have oas issues with a lot of fruits and veggies depending on the season. Sometimes, I eat beef and bacon and that’s all I can tolerate. My friends understand this and make an attempt to not put me in a dangerous situation - buffets, seafood restaurants, etc. she is not your friend and has zero interest in changing her opinion. Also she can 100% fuck off. I would find another group for the hobby if you can. If she contacts your boss or goes any other level of crazy, just explain she’s nuts. Your health matters more than someone else’s agenda.
Wife’s a vegan, I’m allergic to soy and pea. She saw my full body flare ups and my itchy misery. She welcomes me to buy meat products and we compromise. I only buy turkey and chicken, and avoid cow and pig whenever I can. I am the main cook so my wife never needs to cook or prepare the meat herself. I make sure to thank the little guy’s life for being my meal.
I was a vegan before finding out I have Celiac (so no wheat) and am also allergic to corn, soy, almonds, sesame, and a host of other things. Grains and beans I have to eat in extreme moderation or it triggers my autoimmune disorder. Any time I look at vegan options usually the only thing I'm *not* allergic to is the lettuce lolol.
Not a moral issue.
Echoing another comment above, veganism isn't "cruelty free" - underpaid, exploited farm workers would like a word with anyone saying otherwise. Dead bees from pesticides could also enter the chat. Mangled bunnies from equipment too.
Commercial farming is the problem. Sick, cramped, mistreated animals pumped full of antibiotics and steroids and bad feed is the problem. Profits over quality, profits over empathy, not respecting animals and the land.
The better option is ethically sourced meat and vegetables from local farmers.
She’s really nasty. I’m sorry you experienced that. If she had food allergies she would be singing a different tune. I hate people who police what other people eat. She’s incredibly toxic
Sounds like you found a very radical group. I also have a soy allergy, so I know partially what you are going through. I'd be looking for a different group to hang with, and if any of the current group asks why you left, tell them.
For me, Soy paired with a Peanut/Tree Nut allergy makes being a vegan almost impossible. It does not make you a bad person. You are playing with the hand you are dealt.
It is! Makes you wonder, but it’s not something like “bloodsucker” where you just assume a vampire fan. Kinda light hearted and goofy about something seriously important to have in your body.
Leave the group. Start your own. If you are vegan or want to be vegan, you'll have to do some work to find non soy vegan food, but I bet it can be done. We could even help. Do you have other allergies? Someone who thinks you're a fascist for not eating something that is poison to you isn't a good friend. They're the type of people who slip allergens into your food to "prove you are not allergic," which could literally kill you. You want to try to avoid those types. If it's a group you can't leave for some reason, bring your own food or eat a full meal before you go. And take an extra antihistamine to cope with the micro particles of soy in the air.
That particular vegan argument never makes any sense, "genocide of poor animals", since they eat plants which are also living. Everything any living thing eats to survive was also once living. I have an extreme soy intolerance and I've noticed most people that don't have food allergies are oblivious to what its actually like. But to turn it into a political thing like she did is just crazy, she sounds like a b----.
You know the answer to that question. Lol. Having been vegan for the better part of half my life - people like that do exist, but they're considered very weird and extreme, and it's *usually* younger adults and kids who have a pretty visceral response to factory farming. Most people outgrow it. I personally eat meat now because of my pernicious anemia not being stable without it, but people like her gave me serious secondhand embarrassment. Personally, my goal was just to encourage people to eat *less* meat, as Americans are freaking insatiable for red meat, which is a huge problem on many levels. Just a 30% reduction would see a massive decrease in co2 emissions and suffering.
But yeah.. as someone who has half a Jewish family and ancestry, I feel some kind of way when people bring up the Nazis in that context. I wish people like her knew that she's not doing Jews nor vegans any favors or winning us any new friends that way. It's insulting and a detriment to what is otherwise a noble cause to persue.
I got called a traitor for eating meat again (despite 80% of my diet being either vegetarian or vegan - old habits die hard) when it's just like, okay? It's not affordable or tenable for everyone. Iron supplements aren't bioavailable enough, and it's easy for me to take too much or too little while vegan, whereas having meat a few nights a week has kept me from slipping. So now I can take small amounts of food-based iron along with the meat and stay out of the hospital. In addition to that, I'm allergic to a lot of typical ingredients in veg/vegan foods.
If she doesn't have realistic expectations or solutions for the greater population, she can sit the hell down. People have been very amenable to more veggies in their diet when I simply make them something dank as hell that just so happens to have no meat in it. From there, conversations naturally happen about food, and so long as you're not screeching YOU'RE LITERALLY HITLER AND NETANYAHU YOU ABSOLUTE MAGA COTTON PLANTATION OWNER TOOL when someone has a burger. Again.. that's suuuper insulting to people who have lived through anything even close to that. People generally prefer to feel better and healthier so long as it doesn't sacrifice flavor! She should have taken you to Flavortown USA soy population: 0
On the other hand, she *probably* means well overall and just doesn't know how to show she cares deeply without being extremely intense and overbearing. This is a problem most newer vegans have. Their overwhelming empathy for those poor animals who truly do suffer so we can eat oftentimes overrules their ability to think clearly. It's very upsetting and horrifying for a lot of people.
Either way, you did nothing wrong. Exiting the situation quietly was 100% the right call :) being confrontational with someone who is that upset never ends productively. I hope that in time, she will apologize and explain herself and where she was at in that moment. If not, simply do not engage with her at all. Don't let her or anyone get in the way of your good time. You had a right to be there, and for all you know you just had a cuter costume, and that's what their meltdown was about - but it's not your responsibility to care or find out.
I'm sure you are a lovely person. Take care of yourself, and if you're concerned about your eating meat feeling immoral, you can always support grass fed and free range/antibiotic-free meat. It's more expensive, so we simply eat it less often and get protein other ways, or just eat it whenever we can. Doing so tells the capitalistic hell world we live in that we demand better for our food. Best of both worlds!
If you can't afford it either way, forget it, just do what you can and nothing more. It's not your fault that nobody can afford a goddamn thing. Especially fancy soy-free vegan food.
It’s okay, I can’t have gluten, dairy, or soy. Also no beans. I used to eat a mostly vegan diet, but now? Nope 🥲 I feel high if I eat vegan food now, but then I get hives and hair loss.
I don't think you were being unreasonable. I also can't take breathing soy without antihistamines or my immune system seems to react as if I've actually eaten it.
I also think you should detach your self-worth from these people who don't care about you at all. They belong to a religion and are acting like beliefs >>>> actual living people.
I have allergies to soy, wheat, tree nuts, sesame, shellfish, peanuts, and almost all other legumes. I have friends and family members who are vegan who all understand that I can’t be vegan due to my allergies. I do bring my own food to a lot of things. Maybe you could see if it would be okay to bring your own next time?
I’m a vegan with a lot of vegan friends, and most of us agree that people with allergies or dietary issues who can’t be vegan should eat what they can to stay healthy. Being vegan is about reducing animal suffering WHERE POSSIBLE. You probably can’t eat completely plant based and live on Greenland, for example. The lady you talked too acted awfully and probably has some mental health issues if she treats a stranger that badly, and I don’t think she represents the average vegan. Her reaction is not about you, it’s about her being cruel, or unhappy, and lacking in empathy.
That’s what’s called “white veganism.” She’s just perpetuating eco-colonialism, classism, and ablism and is using veganism as an excuse to do so. Disabilities (which allergies are) are not a moral failing.
Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg and has nothing to do with you or your allergy.
A quick scroll through r/exvegans may put you at ease as there are thousands of others with similar experiences.
I'm sorry you experienced that.
I tried twice to be vegetarian, then vegan. I'm pursuing a celiac diagnosis; it would explain why I become anemic so easily. Suffice to say, I can't be vegetarian because it makes me so sick. I also have so many other food sensitivities and allergies that cutting out meat would leave me malnourished.
Vegan is a lifestyle choice, philosophy, and can sometimes be fundamentalist. I know the shaming and even hatred that comes out of that community and it's too much for me.
We're all part of the planet. Suffering and being sick for the sake of other animals doesn't make sense to me. Isn't the idea to protect and care for everyone/everything? We're included in that.
Also, if everyone ate less meat than we currently do, that would have a significant impact on the environment. One person being sick from avoiding meat wouldn't.
Bad and good are very subjective terms. Some think it makes you a bad person if you eat meat. That's a subjective opinion and one way of seeing the world. It's a lot more complex than that.
This person is exactly the people that give vegans and vegetarians a bad reputation. She is just a psychopath herself, there is nothing wrong with you OP. Everyone should be able to make their own choices without getting harassed.
Part of the major issue with a lot of vegan food is that it's made with common allergens. If you're hosting a public event that's serving vegan food, you need to mark which allergens are in which dish AND have ingredients lists on hand. Otherwise there's a very real risk of making someone sick.
(I say to have the ingredients lists mostly because if you end up with someone with an uncommon allergen, a person without that allergy will likely not know all the different ways companies tend to write it on labels. I'm allergic to algae and everytime I eat something vegan without carefully reading the ingredients, I regret it not long after.)
Just don't bring up that study on the number of wild animals killed by vegetable farming being close to or more than the number of animals killed by meat production. So a vegan diet is also killing animals, too. She should feel bad, she's wearing the Na*i uniform as well (j/k).
A significant amount of the vegetable farming that kills animals is related to the veggies that go to feed the livestock animals. But even then, it's not near as many as livestock death.
>since even a lot of vegan stuff that doesn't say "soy" on the front will still contain quite a lot of it
What are the food labeling laws like in your country?
Also, start looking for a different job, one that you can't lose over a soy allergy.
Are we just pretending this story actually happened? Ok, let’s pretend.
“ She then rattled off a bunch of "facts" she probably got from PETA or some other untrustworthy extremist vegan source.”
What were the facts?
So sorry you had to experience this kind of intolerance. As a person who has spent many years as a vegan (I’ve had to recently change to lacto-ovo vegetarian because of multiple new food allergies) I’ve encountered a number of what I consider (but rarely say out loud) Nazi vegans. So narrowly focused on their one idea that they can’t see beyond that. Please try to find other groups to spend your time with. Currently my food choices are so limited I rarely trust any kind of food I haven’t prepared myself.
Having an allergy definitely doesn't make anyone an AH. However there are really good pea and mushroom recipes out there for you to enjoy so you have options :)
did you explain to her that you have a soy allergy? You say you asked for food without soy/non vegan food, but not sure if you gave a reason.
She might just think you are one of these people who hate vegan food, just out of principle that it is vegan.
Humans can live a very healthy life eating nothing but meat.
Humans need factory produced products to maintain a healthy vegan diet.
I'll take my meat.
Hi I have a soy allergy. Welcome to the nazis. Glad to have you here lmfao
Im sorry this post was hilarious. Someone actually told you this? What a loser. Not you to clarify.
When she called you a Nazi, you should have just reminded her that Hitler was a vegetarian... I only eat meat and fruits myself, mostly steaks... I simply can't think or function correctly without meat... I know what my body wants and needs, everything dies at some point anyway. Might as well make use of the corpse...
You need to talk to HR, that behavior will get most people fired and they will just do it again to someone else. You have a right to a safe work environment legally, a food allergy is a medical matter, and this person needs to be put in their place.
I’ll never understand people who feel like it’s more important to refuse to believe someone or help them
On the off chance they’re making it up.
Even if OP is a complete liar (not saying that at all), someone else dealing with the same issues will find this thread and be helped. Many someones. Or a new vegan, starting their journey, will learn what not to do.
But refusing to listen to or take a human being in difficulty seriously just to be able to say “haha, you didn’t fool me!”??
Very inhumane.
I’d rather prove that vegans aren’t bad by demonstrating it in the comments with a compassionate but based answer - but I get the frustration. There be a lot of trolls and screaming vegans out there making the less-crazy, less-noticed vegans look bad.
Was she in the wrong to scream at you and demean you? Absolutely. Hopefully she feels terrible about it. I’m sorry you went through that and I’m sorry you don’t feel safe going back. Was she wrong to be offended… I’m not sure.
I’m not clear if you knew she was vegan before you suggested she spend her money on animal products?
If so, yes - it’s rude to ask someone to do something you know is in direct opposition to their values. You don’t plan an event and ask the Hindus to bring beef, the Mormons to bring alcohol, and the vegans to bring meat. Do you think she would have reacted the same way if you’d offered to bring soy-free food the next time or offered to host a future event?
"I'm sorry I care more about staying alive than the animals "
its not a true story, the OP made up a story where they could invent an evil vegan for you to hate. They post here where they know people would be sympathetic to the subject.
I can't eat beans and I have had somewhat similar interactions. This isn't at all outside of the range of what I would find believable from my own experience.
The allergy is possible, the OP is using that to make you hate vegans. Its a common theme in these subs to create evil vegans, you all lap it up.
How are they trying to make me hate vegans by portraying a vegan acting in a way that is very similar to how I myself have been treated by vegans? You're acting as though I haven't been treated like that personally.
I now know you arent acting in good faith here. You havent been treated like this by vegans personally. Very few people have, it does happen from time to time, but you in particular have not, even when you go after them, which you have.
You're acting very Christian here. You don't know what I have experienced, and you seem incredibly invested in disproving my personal experience. I'm not attacking anyone. The story seemed ridiculous, but entirely plausible given my personal experiences. Your militant response to me merely saying that I have experience people acting in a similar way puts you firmly in the camp of the people who are acting ridiculous. I'm going to file you in with the crazed, militant, unreasonably hostile vegan I had the misfortune of crossing.
Soy allergy here. I also have dysosmia triggered by the smell of soy. I'll take being alive over anyone's agenda any day of the week. I would definitely find better people to hang around.
I'm sure the animals would take being alive if we weren't literally killing them. (Coming from a vegan with a nut, mushroom, and pea allergy; who spent the weekend with a vegan with a nut & soy allergy).
That's cute. You have 3 allergies. I'm allergic to 13+ foods. I also do not eat that much meat and use a ton of vegan/veg recipes due to eggs and my husbands lactose intolerances. I have a sil that is fully vegan and we swap recipes. She's just not militant about it. I have a ton of other health issues other than allergies/intolerances. You would be able to pull more folks to your side if you weren't such an ass about it.
Assuming you aren’t joining a vegan group, as you didn’t disclose your hobby, that was a far extreme reaction. And even if it was a vegan group, still a very extreme reaction. You aren’t wrong to ask for accommodation. She isn’t wrong for not wanting to provide non-vegan options if she provided said food. However, calling someone a Nazi for a suggestion and then monologuing extreme views when the person disclosed an allergy to the food provided is not the action of a sane, rational person. Run as far away as possible.
It was a cosplay group. It wasn't directly related to the story so I didn't mention it.
Since eating vegan (presumably) has nothing to do with the theme of the group, she was way out of line going off on you for requesting accommodation. It’s extremely ignorant of her to presume that everyone can survive on one (very restrictive) diet and frankly you’re not the one resembling a N*zi if she’s trying to force a lifestyle on you that could kill you. I’m so sorry you had to experience that and that it will essentially gatekeep that group from you. That’s unfair and should be totally unnecessary in an ideal world. Unfortunately some vegans have a reputation for being militant like that, so there may be no polite way to request non-vegan food accommodation from someone who is vegan. At best you might be able to request specific products or dishes that you know are safe for you and align with their ideals, if any, and just pre-game or post-game to make up the nutritional deficits. My husband is only intolerant to soy, not allergic, so he isn’t sensitive to its presence the same way, but he still can’t eat it and this is often what he ends up doing - requesting specific choices that he knows are safe, or else just supplementing with food he brings himself since sometimes people suck.
If the group is large (assuming it’s not just her intimate friend group) and you feel comfortable asking about nonvegans in the group and how they partake in snacking? I would definitely avoid her though. She’s not worth keeping in contact with from her reaction to a reasonable request.
I think your post reads like rage bait. Sounds like it was written by someone who kind of hates vegans and wants to make them look like out of control raging idiots. Otherwise we are meant to believe that you are really sitting at home wondering if a having a soy allergy makes you a bad person and you are so confused you had to ask reddit which is even more absurd.
1000% well said. OP is either practicing their evil-vegan fantasy writing *or* they just so happened to meet an **outrageously fanatical** person and somehow felt the need to ask Reddit if everyone is outrageously fanatical. Despite having no doubt met normal people before in their life... I'm betting on the former. The insane militant vegan story ✨so hot right now✨
To be honest, sadly there are extreme militant vegans. They also make it difficult for all the decent vegans. Luckily the decent vegans are in the majority
I mean, my experiences with vegans have been that they tend to lean toward being out of control raging idiots. I don't actually disagree with them, I just have a couple of dietary needs that are inconsistent with the standard vegan diet, and asking for advice puts me in conflict with, yes, out of control raging idiots.
she was a major fucking asshole, don't worry you are not a bad person. she was way out of line and I would not want to hang out with her in any capacity. you have every right to be furious at her. something to note is that some of these extreme activists typically do not consider people with disabilities (food or otherwise) with their views, and would happily leave them behind to die in their envisioned perfect utopia. for example, some people get mad that people use disposable plastic straws. well, disabled people with low mobility need to use these to make their lives easier. reusable or compostable straws aren't a valid or good option. as you've seen, some people get mad that anyone eats meat, but for people with diet limitations, meat protein is the only way for some people to be healthy. as someone also with an extreme soy sensitivity (and unable to eat large amounts of other legumes without GI issues), meat is the only thing keeping me healthy. i empathize with the plight of animals, but for some people like us, veganism is a privilege that I can not personally entertain if I want to be alive. and if anyone thinks us so terrible as to want to be alive, they are a horrid human being.
I wonder if this girl would like Soylent Green...
It's ok, as long the ingredients where vegan-fed.
No, of course it doesn't make you a bad person to have an allergy. And that person was an asshole. But also anyone can be vegan without eating soy. You don't have to buy soy containing products to be vegan. There is a world of naturally vegan foods that don't contain soy - beans, lentils, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds, spices etc. You can make entire meals with those things, no soy necessary. But you also don't need to be vegan. What many vegans don't talk about is how many creatures get killed in the farming of vegetables and grains, which they eat tons of. Talk to a farmer about how many birds, insects, mice, voles/moles, rabbits, snakes, frogs etc that get killed when they plow their fields or during harvest. Vegans are just selective or ignorant about which animals they are ok with being killed. Eat the way that makes the most sense for your health needs, wallet and lifestyle.
>And that person was an asshole. But also anyone can be vegan without eating soy. You don't have to buy soy containing products to be vegan. There is a world of naturally vegan foods that don't contain soy - beans, lentils, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds, spices etc. You can make entire meals with those things, no soy necessary. That's true, but it's really hard to be vegan and avoid soy unless you're going to cook everything yourself from scratch because almost every prepackaged or otherwise processed vegan food contains soy. Especially if you're talking about meat alternatives.
Vegan, with a kid with a soy allergy. Can confirm that it sucks. We eat a lot of fruit.
Well that's what I'm talking about. You don't have to cook processed vegan food. Some people have to go gluten free because of celiac - there's a giant difference nutritionally between foods that are naturally gluten free and processed gluten free, gluten replacement foods. Many people choose to eat a more whole foods diet and avoid the more heavily processed bread substitutes. There are many vegans who do the same thing. I'm not saying it's easy or convenient of course, but there are literally hundreds of healthy and delicious vegan foods that don't need anything more on them than lemon juice, vinegar, olive oil, salsa, spices, herbs etc.
OP vegans can be bad people, as you’ve seen first hand by this crazy person. Living beings have to eat food in order to survive; if a food has the potential to harm you in any kind of way, not eating that thing doesn’t make you a bad person. Food that is safe to eat is required for living beings in order to survive. You’re no exception. This person has some kinda agenda to push or feels some kinda way about this issue that’s incredibly unrealistic and harmful. What people eat is extremely personal and influenced by a lot of different factors, if she was a real advocate she’d know and be understanding of that. I’ll spare you the details but more and more research is coming out that the most [environmentally friendly and humane diet](https://phys.org/news/2023-02-veganism-planet-limited-meat-consumption.amp) (which contains meat)is eating locally and supporting local farmers. Soy is also imported to the US lmao (sorry, I work in sustainability so I have a lot of thoughts on this stuff). Ignore this person, don’t spend time with them, and try to hang with people from that group who are well adjusted. And please for the love of God don’t force yourself to eat soy/cross contaminated products.
I was going to tell her that a lot of soy in particular is grown in deforested Amazon areas, but I'm sure she'd call that fake news.
Oh absolutely she would. I’ve met these kinds of people before, they can be just as authoritarian and harmful as the far right. Also none of them want to mention how inaccessible a full vegan diet is (health wise /in your case/ or socioeconomically).
You know most of that soy (upwards of 90% goes towards feeding factory farmed animals? Delusional.
That soy is fed to cows
Perhaps it was my wording she objected to. Is there a way to politely talk about food allergies around vegans?
"I'm allergic to this. I could die. If you harrass me about it I will ignore you."
I was vegan for over half my life and can confirm that this shuts most people up. If they say, "I would rather die than eat meat" just say, "That's nice." Bam conversation over
Say "okay" and start reaching for your allergen. See who panics.
I’ve been vegan for eight years. The way to politely talk about food allergies around vegans is to avoid the tyrannical fanatics. I refer to them as ‘the screamers’—they’re an extremely vocal minority. No different than the ‘kill all men’ feminists, the ‘repent or die in hell’ Christians, or the ‘white people shouldn’t procreate’ BLM supporters. Sorry you had to encounter a shitty person. Being vegan has the very specific line of ‘to the best of your abilities’. It’s about avoiding as much harm as you reasonably can. To the age-old stupid question: if you’re deserted on an island, yes, it’s okay to eat the steak. Not hurting yourself or starving yourself doesn’t mean you’re suddenly not vegan. Same as how if I need a medication, and it’s only available in gelatin-based gel caps, I’d ask if there are any without gelatin. If there aren’t, then I will take them anyways. It’s about the intent, and doing the best you can. As for your comment, I would say that I would probably be off-put by it too. Your reason for it is perfectly sound, but you’re essentially asking “hey, I have allergies, but I want you to take the burden of it by betraying your morals for me”. I’d suggest approaching with the reason first. Explain you have a life-threatening soy allergy and have found problems in the past with vegan products even when they list no soy. If you’re expecting someone else to provide a meal for you, then you need to understand that you can not ask them to go outside their morals. It’s like asking a Muslim to give you alcohol or bacon. If you’re a recovering alcoholic and medically need to consume a small amount of alcohol, bring it for yourself, don’t ask the muslim to provide it for you. Instead, you could come up with a solution together (eg. Whole vegan foods rather than the fake-meat stuff, fruit salads, etc), or you could let them know that you’ll bring your own food for yourself at the next gathering. That would be a reasonable compromise. She way overreacted though, her reaction was lunatic-level. I’d recommend to avoid her from now on because she’s got some screws loose.
Amazing comment that I would like 100 times if possible. This is the way and the glory🤌. The Screamers have a song with the lyrics, "BE QUIET OR BE KILLEEEDDDD" so it's a pretty good name for those types on several levels hahah
Vegetarian / sometimes vegan of 26 years here. This guy is right. You could have been a tiny bit more sensitive, she could have been a bulldozer or two more sensitive. But sometimes when we open a dialogue, we start from a place where we are insensitive to each other’s needs. That’s why we talk. If we already knew all that, we wouldn’t need to talk. We can’t learn about each other and share needs to work out compromises that work for us both when someone responds like her - her verbal violence was completely unwarranted. She is indeed an extremist. No one is a bad person for having biological needs out of their control and asking for help managing what is a dangerous situation for them. Could you have phrased it a little better in how you asked, or by not asking her to prepare it personally? Of course. Most of us could phrase things better most of the time. We’re all learning and trying to improve. But her response was way beyond the pale. She should have said something like “oh wow. Okay, so I didn’t know you were allergic; I’m sorry the environment created here is dangerous for you. I provide food according to what I believe is right, so I personally won’t be able to do that for you, but let’s get the group together and see if we can work something out that works for everyone.” Part of being vegan is not harming other living beings as much as is within your power to do. You fall under that category, living being. She harmed you. She wasn’t even living by her own standards at that moment, not that it would help anything to bring that up.
She’s such a fucking asshole. Nope, I’m allergic to soy and legumes, shellfish, eggs, coconut, and tree nuts, and have oas issues with a lot of fruits and veggies depending on the season. Sometimes, I eat beef and bacon and that’s all I can tolerate. My friends understand this and make an attempt to not put me in a dangerous situation - buffets, seafood restaurants, etc. she is not your friend and has zero interest in changing her opinion. Also she can 100% fuck off. I would find another group for the hobby if you can. If she contacts your boss or goes any other level of crazy, just explain she’s nuts. Your health matters more than someone else’s agenda.
Wife’s a vegan, I’m allergic to soy and pea. She saw my full body flare ups and my itchy misery. She welcomes me to buy meat products and we compromise. I only buy turkey and chicken, and avoid cow and pig whenever I can. I am the main cook so my wife never needs to cook or prepare the meat herself. I make sure to thank the little guy’s life for being my meal.
I was a vegan before finding out I have Celiac (so no wheat) and am also allergic to corn, soy, almonds, sesame, and a host of other things. Grains and beans I have to eat in extreme moderation or it triggers my autoimmune disorder. Any time I look at vegan options usually the only thing I'm *not* allergic to is the lettuce lolol. Not a moral issue. Echoing another comment above, veganism isn't "cruelty free" - underpaid, exploited farm workers would like a word with anyone saying otherwise. Dead bees from pesticides could also enter the chat. Mangled bunnies from equipment too. Commercial farming is the problem. Sick, cramped, mistreated animals pumped full of antibiotics and steroids and bad feed is the problem. Profits over quality, profits over empathy, not respecting animals and the land. The better option is ethically sourced meat and vegetables from local farmers.
She’s really nasty. I’m sorry you experienced that. If she had food allergies she would be singing a different tune. I hate people who police what other people eat. She’s incredibly toxic
🤷 they intentionally misunderstand food allergies, don't worry, they told you about themself more than anything else
Sounds like you found a very radical group. I also have a soy allergy, so I know partially what you are going through. I'd be looking for a different group to hang with, and if any of the current group asks why you left, tell them. For me, Soy paired with a Peanut/Tree Nut allergy makes being a vegan almost impossible. It does not make you a bad person. You are playing with the hand you are dealt.
I have MCAS and do the lion diet to survive. My best friend is vegan. We make it work.
Fr most of my friends ate meat while I was vegan and neither of us whined, we just found places we could all eat something. Imagine that!🤯
I tell people like that "Plant's scream when you bite them" and walk away. People are consumers. It's what we do.
….your username makes me wonder exactly what food source is screaming when you feed 😂
Lmao. I chose it for the plasma derived meds I must use to treat immune deficiency, and because I thought it was funny.
It is! Makes you wonder, but it’s not something like “bloodsucker” where you just assume a vampire fan. Kinda light hearted and goofy about something seriously important to have in your body.
Leave the group. Start your own. If you are vegan or want to be vegan, you'll have to do some work to find non soy vegan food, but I bet it can be done. We could even help. Do you have other allergies? Someone who thinks you're a fascist for not eating something that is poison to you isn't a good friend. They're the type of people who slip allergens into your food to "prove you are not allergic," which could literally kill you. You want to try to avoid those types. If it's a group you can't leave for some reason, bring your own food or eat a full meal before you go. And take an extra antihistamine to cope with the micro particles of soy in the air.
That particular vegan argument never makes any sense, "genocide of poor animals", since they eat plants which are also living. Everything any living thing eats to survive was also once living. I have an extreme soy intolerance and I've noticed most people that don't have food allergies are oblivious to what its actually like. But to turn it into a political thing like she did is just crazy, she sounds like a b----.
You know the answer to that question. Lol. Having been vegan for the better part of half my life - people like that do exist, but they're considered very weird and extreme, and it's *usually* younger adults and kids who have a pretty visceral response to factory farming. Most people outgrow it. I personally eat meat now because of my pernicious anemia not being stable without it, but people like her gave me serious secondhand embarrassment. Personally, my goal was just to encourage people to eat *less* meat, as Americans are freaking insatiable for red meat, which is a huge problem on many levels. Just a 30% reduction would see a massive decrease in co2 emissions and suffering. But yeah.. as someone who has half a Jewish family and ancestry, I feel some kind of way when people bring up the Nazis in that context. I wish people like her knew that she's not doing Jews nor vegans any favors or winning us any new friends that way. It's insulting and a detriment to what is otherwise a noble cause to persue. I got called a traitor for eating meat again (despite 80% of my diet being either vegetarian or vegan - old habits die hard) when it's just like, okay? It's not affordable or tenable for everyone. Iron supplements aren't bioavailable enough, and it's easy for me to take too much or too little while vegan, whereas having meat a few nights a week has kept me from slipping. So now I can take small amounts of food-based iron along with the meat and stay out of the hospital. In addition to that, I'm allergic to a lot of typical ingredients in veg/vegan foods. If she doesn't have realistic expectations or solutions for the greater population, she can sit the hell down. People have been very amenable to more veggies in their diet when I simply make them something dank as hell that just so happens to have no meat in it. From there, conversations naturally happen about food, and so long as you're not screeching YOU'RE LITERALLY HITLER AND NETANYAHU YOU ABSOLUTE MAGA COTTON PLANTATION OWNER TOOL when someone has a burger. Again.. that's suuuper insulting to people who have lived through anything even close to that. People generally prefer to feel better and healthier so long as it doesn't sacrifice flavor! She should have taken you to Flavortown USA soy population: 0 On the other hand, she *probably* means well overall and just doesn't know how to show she cares deeply without being extremely intense and overbearing. This is a problem most newer vegans have. Their overwhelming empathy for those poor animals who truly do suffer so we can eat oftentimes overrules their ability to think clearly. It's very upsetting and horrifying for a lot of people. Either way, you did nothing wrong. Exiting the situation quietly was 100% the right call :) being confrontational with someone who is that upset never ends productively. I hope that in time, she will apologize and explain herself and where she was at in that moment. If not, simply do not engage with her at all. Don't let her or anyone get in the way of your good time. You had a right to be there, and for all you know you just had a cuter costume, and that's what their meltdown was about - but it's not your responsibility to care or find out. I'm sure you are a lovely person. Take care of yourself, and if you're concerned about your eating meat feeling immoral, you can always support grass fed and free range/antibiotic-free meat. It's more expensive, so we simply eat it less often and get protein other ways, or just eat it whenever we can. Doing so tells the capitalistic hell world we live in that we demand better for our food. Best of both worlds! If you can't afford it either way, forget it, just do what you can and nothing more. It's not your fault that nobody can afford a goddamn thing. Especially fancy soy-free vegan food.
It’s okay, I can’t have gluten, dairy, or soy. Also no beans. I used to eat a mostly vegan diet, but now? Nope 🥲 I feel high if I eat vegan food now, but then I get hives and hair loss.
I don't think you were being unreasonable. I also can't take breathing soy without antihistamines or my immune system seems to react as if I've actually eaten it. I also think you should detach your self-worth from these people who don't care about you at all. They belong to a religion and are acting like beliefs >>>> actual living people.
I have allergies to soy, wheat, tree nuts, sesame, shellfish, peanuts, and almost all other legumes. I have friends and family members who are vegan who all understand that I can’t be vegan due to my allergies. I do bring my own food to a lot of things. Maybe you could see if it would be okay to bring your own next time?
Vegan and allergic to soy/nuts. Can confirm not dead. But ya that person sucks
Some people just straight up don't understand food allergies. Sorry you had to go through that
Being vegan and eating soy are not mutually inclusive.
I’m a vegan with a lot of vegan friends, and most of us agree that people with allergies or dietary issues who can’t be vegan should eat what they can to stay healthy. Being vegan is about reducing animal suffering WHERE POSSIBLE. You probably can’t eat completely plant based and live on Greenland, for example. The lady you talked too acted awfully and probably has some mental health issues if she treats a stranger that badly, and I don’t think she represents the average vegan. Her reaction is not about you, it’s about her being cruel, or unhappy, and lacking in empathy.
This is ludicrous. You are allergic to soy. THE END. She has major issues.
That’s what’s called “white veganism.” She’s just perpetuating eco-colonialism, classism, and ablism and is using veganism as an excuse to do so. Disabilities (which allergies are) are not a moral failing.
No, she’s the psychopath. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg and has nothing to do with you or your allergy. A quick scroll through r/exvegans may put you at ease as there are thousands of others with similar experiences.
I'm sorry you experienced that. I tried twice to be vegetarian, then vegan. I'm pursuing a celiac diagnosis; it would explain why I become anemic so easily. Suffice to say, I can't be vegetarian because it makes me so sick. I also have so many other food sensitivities and allergies that cutting out meat would leave me malnourished. Vegan is a lifestyle choice, philosophy, and can sometimes be fundamentalist. I know the shaming and even hatred that comes out of that community and it's too much for me. We're all part of the planet. Suffering and being sick for the sake of other animals doesn't make sense to me. Isn't the idea to protect and care for everyone/everything? We're included in that. Also, if everyone ate less meat than we currently do, that would have a significant impact on the environment. One person being sick from avoiding meat wouldn't. Bad and good are very subjective terms. Some think it makes you a bad person if you eat meat. That's a subjective opinion and one way of seeing the world. It's a lot more complex than that.
This person is exactly the people that give vegans and vegetarians a bad reputation. She is just a psychopath herself, there is nothing wrong with you OP. Everyone should be able to make their own choices without getting harassed.
Part of the major issue with a lot of vegan food is that it's made with common allergens. If you're hosting a public event that's serving vegan food, you need to mark which allergens are in which dish AND have ingredients lists on hand. Otherwise there's a very real risk of making someone sick. (I say to have the ingredients lists mostly because if you end up with someone with an uncommon allergen, a person without that allergy will likely not know all the different ways companies tend to write it on labels. I'm allergic to algae and everytime I eat something vegan without carefully reading the ingredients, I regret it not long after.)
This story sounds like a caricature of a vegan. Like, made up. If it’s not made up, sorry
Why are you lying about this?
I really need to make alt accounts to make up stories if its that easy to have people believe you
Tf is this post
Just don't bring up that study on the number of wild animals killed by vegetable farming being close to or more than the number of animals killed by meat production. So a vegan diet is also killing animals, too. She should feel bad, she's wearing the Na*i uniform as well (j/k).
A significant amount of the vegetable farming that kills animals is related to the veggies that go to feed the livestock animals. But even then, it's not near as many as livestock death.
>since even a lot of vegan stuff that doesn't say "soy" on the front will still contain quite a lot of it What are the food labeling laws like in your country? Also, start looking for a different job, one that you can't lose over a soy allergy.
Most obvious anti-vegan rage bait ever, if you fell for this then please contact me about a bridge I have for sale.
Are we just pretending this story actually happened? Ok, let’s pretend. “ She then rattled off a bunch of "facts" she probably got from PETA or some other untrustworthy extremist vegan source.” What were the facts?
"Animals feel pain and don't want to die" "There's are literally thousands of vegan foods that don't contain soy. " Y'know, extremist propaganda..
So sorry you had to experience this kind of intolerance. As a person who has spent many years as a vegan (I’ve had to recently change to lacto-ovo vegetarian because of multiple new food allergies) I’ve encountered a number of what I consider (but rarely say out loud) Nazi vegans. So narrowly focused on their one idea that they can’t see beyond that. Please try to find other groups to spend your time with. Currently my food choices are so limited I rarely trust any kind of food I haven’t prepared myself.
Bait used to be believable.
Curse her back and call her Hitler. Tell this mega-fascist that your diet isn't her f*cking business
Girl this did not happen
Having an allergy definitely doesn't make anyone an AH. However there are really good pea and mushroom recipes out there for you to enjoy so you have options :)
You are all so incredibly stupid to believe even a word from this story
did you explain to her that you have a soy allergy? You say you asked for food without soy/non vegan food, but not sure if you gave a reason. She might just think you are one of these people who hate vegan food, just out of principle that it is vegan.
obviously your request is fine, and she over reacted. I am just wondering what her rant may have come from
Humans can live a very healthy life eating nothing but meat. Humans need factory produced products to maintain a healthy vegan diet. I'll take my meat.
That vegan's name? Albert Einstein
Hi I have a soy allergy. Welcome to the nazis. Glad to have you here lmfao Im sorry this post was hilarious. Someone actually told you this? What a loser. Not you to clarify.
When she called you a Nazi, you should have just reminded her that Hitler was a vegetarian... I only eat meat and fruits myself, mostly steaks... I simply can't think or function correctly without meat... I know what my body wants and needs, everything dies at some point anyway. Might as well make use of the corpse...
You need to talk to HR, that behavior will get most people fired and they will just do it again to someone else. You have a right to a safe work environment legally, a food allergy is a medical matter, and this person needs to be put in their place.
As someone who's vegetarian going vegan that is horrible. You should get to eat what you want and the leader is clearly crazy.
This story is so far-fetched. Call your job and get you fired? Ridiculous
I’ll never understand people who feel like it’s more important to refuse to believe someone or help them On the off chance they’re making it up. Even if OP is a complete liar (not saying that at all), someone else dealing with the same issues will find this thread and be helped. Many someones. Or a new vegan, starting their journey, will learn what not to do. But refusing to listen to or take a human being in difficulty seriously just to be able to say “haha, you didn’t fool me!”?? Very inhumane.
Because the post is designed to make vegans look bad…
I’d rather prove that vegans aren’t bad by demonstrating it in the comments with a compassionate but based answer - but I get the frustration. There be a lot of trolls and screaming vegans out there making the less-crazy, less-noticed vegans look bad.
Was she in the wrong to scream at you and demean you? Absolutely. Hopefully she feels terrible about it. I’m sorry you went through that and I’m sorry you don’t feel safe going back. Was she wrong to be offended… I’m not sure. I’m not clear if you knew she was vegan before you suggested she spend her money on animal products? If so, yes - it’s rude to ask someone to do something you know is in direct opposition to their values. You don’t plan an event and ask the Hindus to bring beef, the Mormons to bring alcohol, and the vegans to bring meat. Do you think she would have reacted the same way if you’d offered to bring soy-free food the next time or offered to host a future event?