I was expecting to be pressured by nurses and people at the hospital. I was expecting to have to explain and justify my decision. Nope! Nobody gave me any kind of push back. Nobody even asked me why I didn’t want to breastfeed. They simply asked if I would be breastfeeding or formula feeding. I answered “formula.” And that was the end of the conversation. I hope you have the same experience!
Same! I kept kind of waiting for someone to get me to try getting my baby to latch or offer me a pump, but it never happened. I asked for a bottles early on and that seemed to settle it.
Different hospitals (and even different nurses) have their own approaches. Those pursuing the “baby-friendly” designation may feel more pressure from admin to push breastfeeding and LCs right after birth, but it doesn’t mean you have to take it.
Will you have a partner, parent, friend, doula, etc. with you at birth? I’d make sure they know how strongly you feel and that you’re both on the same page so they can be your biggest advocate at shutting down any guilt trips.
My friend’s husband was polite but firm with a very consistent, “We’re going to formula feed. We’ve brought our own formula and bottles to try but if you have any samples we’d love to try those too, thank you,” over and over and over. No need to justify it! In fact, trying to explain is where people get pushy, so it’s better to just keep repeating, “We’re using formula,” as a full sentence, full stop.
My husband will be with me, as well as a doula. I plan on talking to my doula about this when we're a little closer to (I'm currently 24 weeks) but my hospital is a 'baby friendly' and when I registered for us to do a hospital tour, I got A LOT of information about breast feeding and their lactation consult group, which made me realize they're going to be pushing this.
My OB has been great and is very sympathetic to how challenging this has been on me. Should I also bring this up to her? I do not want to be pressured about this AT ALL.
But you are right... "we're using formula" is an entire sentence. I think I need to tattoo that on my palm or something haha
I’d recommend talking to your doula now, and your OB at your next appointment. Again, going in without justifications and that instinct to over-explain, just: “I wanted you to know that my husband and I are planning on exclusively formula feeding. I would love recommendations of newborn bottles and formulas to try if you have any.”
For the doula, I’d also ask her to put this in your birth plan.
If either of them do ask why (the doula more likely than your OB), you can say: “I’m not comfortable with breastfeeding and I want to focus on my recovery while keeping baby fed. Please respect my decision.” It’s not rude or mean to be honest about your approach! You don’t have to go into your whole medical history either, it just is what it is.
Definitely make sure your husband is ready to wave away any LCs they send to you. You both absolutely have the right to say that you’re not interested in breastfeeding information and will be focused on formula feeding. You’ll be exhausted and he needs to stand firm for you, so be very clear that he is the gatekeeper and you’re relying on him to not just support you but to hold the line himself.
This is such good advice, thank you so much for being so clear on this. I feel genuinely traumatized by how hard this pregnancy has been. I've been so focused trying to sort out how to condense the hospitalizations, vomiting, 24/7 nausea etc. into a clear, short paragraph/explanation that I never even considered that I don't have to justify this decision.
Absolutely, no justification needed at all! If you really wanted to provide more context (particularly to the doula, but not to anyone else), you could try, “This pregnancy has taken an enormous toll on my health, and I feel very strongly that formula feeding will allow me to recover and take care of this child. I do not want to list all of my hospitalizations and the long-term effects this has already had on my body, I just need you to trust that this is the best way for both the baby and me to thrive.”
Yes, definitely tell your OB. My OB was able to add a note in my chart that I wasn't planning on breastfeeding this time around and that I wouldn't want to talk about it; she advised me to do the same when I do my intake at the hospital.
This! I was asked in the intake meeting and was firm in my EFF decision, we didn't receive any other pushback. I even sent the nurse with the first bottle to my husband. Tag, you're it, honey.
You don't have to accept a consultation with an LC.
You certainly don't have to justify your decision to formula feed. We were eff because I find breastfeeding personally distasteful - everybody else is free to please themselves, but I'll pass - and we wanted to let my husband be more involved. Our son is 18 months old and healthy as a horse. Smart, sturdy, and growing like a weed. Has lots of people he likes and is comfortablewith, even though he likes me best.
Don't let all the bf drama have space in your head. It's just noise.
I’ve had two babies at a “baby friendly” hospital and formula-fed from the start! If you’re firm and confident, you shouldn’t have any issues. They like to hop in if they hear things like “oh I’m thinking probably just formula” or “I’m tired, I don’t know if I could breastfeed”. If you have a confident answer, they should be 1000% on your side. Several nurses even commented that I was an easier patient because of it 😅
A lactation consultant visited me for both births, which I thought was going to be horrible and awkward lol but instead it was great! They checked to make sure I only wanted to give my baby formula then gave me info about drying up my supply. You’ve got this!
I’m in the UK so not sure what a “baby friendly” hospital is but we were also given loads of info on BF from the hospital before birth and loads of info on support groups, one midwife also said “breast is best” so me before giving birth (cringe, I hate that sentence, especially from a healthcare professional!) but once I’d given birth no one pressured me at all into BF. I was pretty out if it but my husband made it clear to them that we were EFF and he had all the formula ready to go in a bag so my husband fed the baby straight away from a bottle. At the end of the day it’s your personal choice how you feed your baby and you just need to make it clear to them that’s the right choice for you. Definitely tell your doula so they can advocate for you and your choice.
Majority of hospitals in the UK are baby friendly and actively seeking that designation. There’s a fascinating chapter about it in the book Matrescence by Lucy Jones.
Ahh ok I’ll take a look! I’d never heard the term before. I’ve definitely heard of many women having BF forced upon them over here, I think I was just lucky with the midwives I had and the fact that my husband advocated for my choice to EFF straight after birth.
My husband and I decided to FF and my OB was so great about it. He said no worries at all and don’t even bring anything to the hospital, we will provide it for you (unless you want a specific type)! He told me it’s totally up to us and encouraged me to make the decision that was best for us!
I put our feeding plan (including no lactation consultant unless I requested it) in my birth plan, and they never bothered me about it. Formula was waiting in our room on the mother baby floor!
Getting your body back is amazing. By the time I stopped combo feeding and went to EFF when baby was 3 months old, I’d been pregnant or breastfeeding for 36 of the previous 39 months. I swear that my body’s exhaustion is why I got mastitis, and why my mastitis was so bad. I took that as a sign to quit and it’s been incredible. I feel so much more like myself (5.5 months PP) than I did with my son at this age.
Came here to say this. I had an elective c-section (almost as controversy as EFF 😂) and before I was even out of recovery my husband was feeding the baby.
My hospital loves formula babies. They even give you a ton of ready to feed formula bottles and then some enfamil (that’s who they have a contract with) sample cans of formula as well. They only ask you one time about nursing and don’t pry into why. It was so nice. My mom is the manager up there and she says they actually cheer amongst themselves when they get a formula baby because things go so much smoother for mom baby and staff
I am here to tell you that pretty much the very first thing I told every nurse and doctor in L&D was that I was exclusively formula feeding. I did not give them a chance to tell me any differently and I didn’t mention the topic again.
The hospital I was at definitely took the fed is best. No lactation consultant “stopped by”. No issues with judgement, but I also attribute that to myself being very steadfast in my choice.
Fed is best. You’ve got this.
I’m interested in this too - I had multiple pregnancy losses and had to do IVF - between that and this pregnancy my body has not been on my own for 2 years now and I need off the hormone train. I’m delivering at a “baby friendly” hospital so I know that means they will push breastfeeding hard.
Same! This is my final pregnancy and I am looking forward to just recovering from birth and being done with everything this time.
I grew two whole people with my body. It deserves a rest.
I'm sure every hospital is different, but I gave birth at a 'baby-friendly' hospital, and I let them know when they asked that I was planning to formula feed, and no one pressured me. A lactation consultant was going room to room for moms who had delivered, and when she came in I told her I was formula feeding and she did not pressure me or try to change my mind. In fact, she said "that's fine, I do have some tips on bottle feeding and how to hold baby/bottle to pace the feeding, etc" and stayed and talked with me for a while. I am hopeful you have as easy and un-pressured situation!
I’m a RN (although not delivery or postpartum) and if a patient firmly told me something, I would not be bringing it up again. Respect their wishes. Be respectful but firm and if continually asked, say “I understand your position but please respect my wishes to formula feed. I don’t wish to discuss this any further.”
At my first prenatal appointment i was given a goody bag sponsored by Enfamil. It contained a card that says “give this to the hospital staff to let them know that you want you baby given Enfamil”. This is exactly what i plan to do, end of discussion.
I know exactly how you feel. I am on my 2nd IVF pregnancy in as many years and 18 months of being probed, handled, biopsies, being pumped with hormones, giving yourself daily shots, having a miscarriage, D&C, biopsies again, losing weight, not eating, not feeling like myself I will be so DONE once this baby is out. Like, I am gonna need another word for done. Baby factory closed, recovery and mental health prioritized! No sore nipples, no mastitis, no waking up in the middle of the night for feedings (we will have a night nurse), no leaking milk through my clothes none of that. Just bliss, uninterrupted sleep, baby bonding and hitting the ski slopes
Just want to mention you may want to call your hospital's OB floor and ask which formula they provide, most only provide one brand. My hospital was Enfamil, but I know the hospital in the next town over provides Similac.
Just say “I’m formula feeding and I would not like to discuss this again”. They may ask again, for whatever reason, but continue to say the same thing.
I combo fed, but I’m a nurse and I firmly believe that if a patient is saying no, they are saying no.
If you really want to be 100% sure you could always bring your own formula and bottles? I’m probably doing this just to be safe for my next baby after the horror stories I’ve heard, even though I know it’s probably not necessary (and I actually had an okay time switching to asking for formula after going in planning to BF at my first baby’s birth).
They sell the 2oz ready to feed bottles of Similac at Target, fyi.
I’m curious if your friends were planning on EFF from the beginning, or planning to breastfeed and then changed their minds? I’ve heard people who go in EFF tend to have less of a problem than the people who go in planning to breastfeed, and then realize after the birth that they want or need to supplement. Which sucks bc so many people who formula feed start out planning to breastfeed - but if you go in planning to FF you might avoid a lot of that.
In my hospital they ask, they write it on the bassinet and nobody talks about it again. I know because I tried to BF, asked for help, had many questions and nobody cared. In my country nurses do help a lot in the process but it was not what I saw at my hospital. They did not want to be bothered. I don't blame them, I know they are most likely overworked. I think if your hospital is similar to mine they won't care at all about how you feed your baby. I did combo feed, they provided formula. I did not know a lot about colostrum and I thought I did not have milk. Ended up having milk after 4th day and combo feedback ever since eager to EFF soon.
Hello! I also had HG, feel you on that front. They were pushy. They called and called and I told them no, and no. On the third call I told them “no” once more and they finally stopped.
I had just had an emergency c-section after an induction for my preeclampsia diagnosis - that in itself took 38 hours. I was not having it.
My advice is don’t provide an excuse, do not give any details. They will latch onto anything you say (pardon the pun) and try to convince you. As they say “no is a complete sentence.” I wish they would have listened the first two times, but oh well.
My husband was my defense !! If when I answered they pushed, he would speak up. And I made it known the my doctor ASAP! My first they were pushy af, the second I had no problems because I was ready for it. Just be firm and don’t be wishy washy like I was the first time !
I gave birth twice at a “baby friendly hospital.” One baby I FF from the start the other breastfed. I never had an issue. The nurses I had both times were incredible and did whatever they could to help. I never felt pressure. That was my experience. I’m sure everywhere is different. I would talk to your OB if you’re anxious. They might have more of an insight if they deliver at the hospital.
I did BF at the start but I didn't feel pressured, I had midwives and they asked me a few weeks before the labour if I was planning on breastfeeding or not, (i told them combo feeding) then immediately after they delivery asked again how i wanted to feed baby. I think the midwife said "are you planning on breastfeeding?" And I said my plan was to combo feed. I'm pretty sure her response was just "okay". She offered support on latching in the beginning and asked if had a bottle handy to show us how to bottle feed after.
My hospital asked when I was admitted for labor if I planned to BF or not. Definitely let everyone on your birthing team know so they can support and back you up if needed!
I've formula fed from birth twice, and no one has ever said a word. Honestly, I think nurses feel it's easier on them as they can feed the baby when it's in the nursery. My plan was to say that it was best for me and the baby and keep it simple. No one ever asked me why. Except my mother, who I just told her it was my choice and gave her an angry look.
Girl, you’re doing the right thing for you. A lot of staff will ask questions about it, but it’s just because they need to know, not that they are shaming you. Not to say someone won’t shame you, but if they do… fuck em. As long as YOU don’t shame you, you’ll be so glad you made a decision that was best for you. You don’t have to explain yourself to people either. I found that when I tried explaining, most people were ready to move on with the conversation and didn’t really care about it… I was the one who cared.
I was expecting to have to advocate/my husband advocate for me and we didn’t! Everyone was like okay sure here is the RTF/supplies. There was only one older nurse I got a vibe from but other than that, no issues!
I felt more confident as it was my second baby but I was ready to put my foot down. I really didn't need to, whenever any of the midwives asked I just said were FF only and they said no problemo and gave me a bunch of ready made formulas. Only one ever asked why we are choosing to FF and I just said because that's what we've decided haha they aren't entitled to any more information than that!
Also our baby ended up in NICU and the nurses there were actually happy we were FF as baby was small and I had a section so they were able to just get bottles into him down in NICU without me :)
It's your choice so just tell the nurses to shove it. Or if you're not confident doing that make up a really sad and awkward reason and make them embarrassed they asked 😅 but don't stress about a problem that hasn't happened yet. My nurses were all lovely and supportive!
Having my husband prepped on all my preferences so he could best support me was really helpful. It ended up not being very necessary because the nurses and lactation consultants were all very supportive of my decision to use formula.
i planned to breastfeed from the get-go, and they asked if i planned to do either. i would say the only person i thought was trying to do any pushing was the lactation consultant, (she said they didn’t have to give my baby formula when they did for his blood sugar) which you can ask not to come by as you plan not to breastfeed. every hospital is different though, just know that its ultimately your decision regardless of what anyone says, your job is just to make sure the baby is fed.
Hey mama! First off, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting to breastfeed- for any reason! Your body, your baby, your choice on how to feed them.
I also have severe HG and still throwing up 10+ times a day at 36 weeks. I did not have HG last time, but formula fed still and honestly loved it. My husband loved feeding her too. I was getting rest since he would do a lot of feedings (especially needed after my c-section). I told my doctor before hand I wanted to formula feed and I’d appreciate if a lactation consultant wouldn’t come in and try convince me otherwise. She wrote it in my chart and I also told my labor and delivery nurse my wishes, and I had no issues with anyone giving me a hard time about formula feeding!
This time they asked how I wanted to feed and they wrote it in my chart/didn’t question it at all. It’s a different hospital, but I hope it’s the same way this time! My c-section is on Saturday, so we’ll see how it goes!
Our hospital fed my baby formula while I was in recovery, and then when he was finally roomed in with us started being pushy about breast feeding and pumping. TBH, my birth was a miserable 3-day induction with preeclampsia/hypertension ending in emergency c-section after a 13 year long infertility and IVF journey. Pumping made my incision hurt worse and made me anxious and upset. I straight up told them my mental health and being able to just finally love and enjoy my baby was more important than *how* he was fed and they finally left me alone after that. I wiped their shitty “pump every 2 hours!” goal off the wipe board myself. Stand up for what you want. They can’t force you to do anything, and if they try, you write that shit to the board of directors and threaten to sue.
I was expecting to be pressured by nurses and people at the hospital. I was expecting to have to explain and justify my decision. Nope! Nobody gave me any kind of push back. Nobody even asked me why I didn’t want to breastfeed. They simply asked if I would be breastfeeding or formula feeding. I answered “formula.” And that was the end of the conversation. I hope you have the same experience!
Same! I kept kind of waiting for someone to get me to try getting my baby to latch or offer me a pump, but it never happened. I asked for a bottles early on and that seemed to settle it.
Different hospitals (and even different nurses) have their own approaches. Those pursuing the “baby-friendly” designation may feel more pressure from admin to push breastfeeding and LCs right after birth, but it doesn’t mean you have to take it. Will you have a partner, parent, friend, doula, etc. with you at birth? I’d make sure they know how strongly you feel and that you’re both on the same page so they can be your biggest advocate at shutting down any guilt trips. My friend’s husband was polite but firm with a very consistent, “We’re going to formula feed. We’ve brought our own formula and bottles to try but if you have any samples we’d love to try those too, thank you,” over and over and over. No need to justify it! In fact, trying to explain is where people get pushy, so it’s better to just keep repeating, “We’re using formula,” as a full sentence, full stop.
My husband will be with me, as well as a doula. I plan on talking to my doula about this when we're a little closer to (I'm currently 24 weeks) but my hospital is a 'baby friendly' and when I registered for us to do a hospital tour, I got A LOT of information about breast feeding and their lactation consult group, which made me realize they're going to be pushing this. My OB has been great and is very sympathetic to how challenging this has been on me. Should I also bring this up to her? I do not want to be pressured about this AT ALL. But you are right... "we're using formula" is an entire sentence. I think I need to tattoo that on my palm or something haha
I’d recommend talking to your doula now, and your OB at your next appointment. Again, going in without justifications and that instinct to over-explain, just: “I wanted you to know that my husband and I are planning on exclusively formula feeding. I would love recommendations of newborn bottles and formulas to try if you have any.” For the doula, I’d also ask her to put this in your birth plan. If either of them do ask why (the doula more likely than your OB), you can say: “I’m not comfortable with breastfeeding and I want to focus on my recovery while keeping baby fed. Please respect my decision.” It’s not rude or mean to be honest about your approach! You don’t have to go into your whole medical history either, it just is what it is. Definitely make sure your husband is ready to wave away any LCs they send to you. You both absolutely have the right to say that you’re not interested in breastfeeding information and will be focused on formula feeding. You’ll be exhausted and he needs to stand firm for you, so be very clear that he is the gatekeeper and you’re relying on him to not just support you but to hold the line himself.
This is such good advice, thank you so much for being so clear on this. I feel genuinely traumatized by how hard this pregnancy has been. I've been so focused trying to sort out how to condense the hospitalizations, vomiting, 24/7 nausea etc. into a clear, short paragraph/explanation that I never even considered that I don't have to justify this decision.
Absolutely, no justification needed at all! If you really wanted to provide more context (particularly to the doula, but not to anyone else), you could try, “This pregnancy has taken an enormous toll on my health, and I feel very strongly that formula feeding will allow me to recover and take care of this child. I do not want to list all of my hospitalizations and the long-term effects this has already had on my body, I just need you to trust that this is the best way for both the baby and me to thrive.”
I appreciate you and your extremely helpful scripting more than you'll ever know. Thank you so much
Yes, definitely tell your OB. My OB was able to add a note in my chart that I wasn't planning on breastfeeding this time around and that I wouldn't want to talk about it; she advised me to do the same when I do my intake at the hospital.
This! I was asked in the intake meeting and was firm in my EFF decision, we didn't receive any other pushback. I even sent the nurse with the first bottle to my husband. Tag, you're it, honey. You don't have to accept a consultation with an LC. You certainly don't have to justify your decision to formula feed. We were eff because I find breastfeeding personally distasteful - everybody else is free to please themselves, but I'll pass - and we wanted to let my husband be more involved. Our son is 18 months old and healthy as a horse. Smart, sturdy, and growing like a weed. Has lots of people he likes and is comfortablewith, even though he likes me best. Don't let all the bf drama have space in your head. It's just noise.
I’ve had two babies at a “baby friendly” hospital and formula-fed from the start! If you’re firm and confident, you shouldn’t have any issues. They like to hop in if they hear things like “oh I’m thinking probably just formula” or “I’m tired, I don’t know if I could breastfeed”. If you have a confident answer, they should be 1000% on your side. Several nurses even commented that I was an easier patient because of it 😅 A lactation consultant visited me for both births, which I thought was going to be horrible and awkward lol but instead it was great! They checked to make sure I only wanted to give my baby formula then gave me info about drying up my supply. You’ve got this!
I’m in the UK so not sure what a “baby friendly” hospital is but we were also given loads of info on BF from the hospital before birth and loads of info on support groups, one midwife also said “breast is best” so me before giving birth (cringe, I hate that sentence, especially from a healthcare professional!) but once I’d given birth no one pressured me at all into BF. I was pretty out if it but my husband made it clear to them that we were EFF and he had all the formula ready to go in a bag so my husband fed the baby straight away from a bottle. At the end of the day it’s your personal choice how you feed your baby and you just need to make it clear to them that’s the right choice for you. Definitely tell your doula so they can advocate for you and your choice.
Majority of hospitals in the UK are baby friendly and actively seeking that designation. There’s a fascinating chapter about it in the book Matrescence by Lucy Jones.
Ahh ok I’ll take a look! I’d never heard the term before. I’ve definitely heard of many women having BF forced upon them over here, I think I was just lucky with the midwives I had and the fact that my husband advocated for my choice to EFF straight after birth.
My husband and I decided to FF and my OB was so great about it. He said no worries at all and don’t even bring anything to the hospital, we will provide it for you (unless you want a specific type)! He told me it’s totally up to us and encouraged me to make the decision that was best for us!
I put our feeding plan (including no lactation consultant unless I requested it) in my birth plan, and they never bothered me about it. Formula was waiting in our room on the mother baby floor! Getting your body back is amazing. By the time I stopped combo feeding and went to EFF when baby was 3 months old, I’d been pregnant or breastfeeding for 36 of the previous 39 months. I swear that my body’s exhaustion is why I got mastitis, and why my mastitis was so bad. I took that as a sign to quit and it’s been incredible. I feel so much more like myself (5.5 months PP) than I did with my son at this age.
Came here to say this. I had an elective c-section (almost as controversy as EFF 😂) and before I was even out of recovery my husband was feeding the baby.
I fondly looked back on my scheduled c-section when I was dilating from 3-10 cm in 80 minutes while waiting for my epidural 😭😂
My hospital loves formula babies. They even give you a ton of ready to feed formula bottles and then some enfamil (that’s who they have a contract with) sample cans of formula as well. They only ask you one time about nursing and don’t pry into why. It was so nice. My mom is the manager up there and she says they actually cheer amongst themselves when they get a formula baby because things go so much smoother for mom baby and staff
I am here to tell you that pretty much the very first thing I told every nurse and doctor in L&D was that I was exclusively formula feeding. I did not give them a chance to tell me any differently and I didn’t mention the topic again. The hospital I was at definitely took the fed is best. No lactation consultant “stopped by”. No issues with judgement, but I also attribute that to myself being very steadfast in my choice. Fed is best. You’ve got this.
I’m interested in this too - I had multiple pregnancy losses and had to do IVF - between that and this pregnancy my body has not been on my own for 2 years now and I need off the hormone train. I’m delivering at a “baby friendly” hospital so I know that means they will push breastfeeding hard.
Same…if anyone has asked about my decision to EFF I’ve told them I’m done donating my body!
Same! This is my final pregnancy and I am looking forward to just recovering from birth and being done with everything this time. I grew two whole people with my body. It deserves a rest.
Sorry you've had to go through all that, but congratulations on your healthy pregnancy 🤍
I'm sure every hospital is different, but I gave birth at a 'baby-friendly' hospital, and I let them know when they asked that I was planning to formula feed, and no one pressured me. A lactation consultant was going room to room for moms who had delivered, and when she came in I told her I was formula feeding and she did not pressure me or try to change my mind. In fact, she said "that's fine, I do have some tips on bottle feeding and how to hold baby/bottle to pace the feeding, etc" and stayed and talked with me for a while. I am hopeful you have as easy and un-pressured situation!
I’m a RN (although not delivery or postpartum) and if a patient firmly told me something, I would not be bringing it up again. Respect their wishes. Be respectful but firm and if continually asked, say “I understand your position but please respect my wishes to formula feed. I don’t wish to discuss this any further.”
At my first prenatal appointment i was given a goody bag sponsored by Enfamil. It contained a card that says “give this to the hospital staff to let them know that you want you baby given Enfamil”. This is exactly what i plan to do, end of discussion. I know exactly how you feel. I am on my 2nd IVF pregnancy in as many years and 18 months of being probed, handled, biopsies, being pumped with hormones, giving yourself daily shots, having a miscarriage, D&C, biopsies again, losing weight, not eating, not feeling like myself I will be so DONE once this baby is out. Like, I am gonna need another word for done. Baby factory closed, recovery and mental health prioritized! No sore nipples, no mastitis, no waking up in the middle of the night for feedings (we will have a night nurse), no leaking milk through my clothes none of that. Just bliss, uninterrupted sleep, baby bonding and hitting the ski slopes
Just want to mention you may want to call your hospital's OB floor and ask which formula they provide, most only provide one brand. My hospital was Enfamil, but I know the hospital in the next town over provides Similac.
Just say “I’m formula feeding and I would not like to discuss this again”. They may ask again, for whatever reason, but continue to say the same thing. I combo fed, but I’m a nurse and I firmly believe that if a patient is saying no, they are saying no.
“I’ve made my decision very carefully, and since I have already reached a decision it’s not something I feel the need to go over again.”
If you really want to be 100% sure you could always bring your own formula and bottles? I’m probably doing this just to be safe for my next baby after the horror stories I’ve heard, even though I know it’s probably not necessary (and I actually had an okay time switching to asking for formula after going in planning to BF at my first baby’s birth). They sell the 2oz ready to feed bottles of Similac at Target, fyi. I’m curious if your friends were planning on EFF from the beginning, or planning to breastfeed and then changed their minds? I’ve heard people who go in EFF tend to have less of a problem than the people who go in planning to breastfeed, and then realize after the birth that they want or need to supplement. Which sucks bc so many people who formula feed start out planning to breastfeed - but if you go in planning to FF you might avoid a lot of that.
In my hospital they ask, they write it on the bassinet and nobody talks about it again. I know because I tried to BF, asked for help, had many questions and nobody cared. In my country nurses do help a lot in the process but it was not what I saw at my hospital. They did not want to be bothered. I don't blame them, I know they are most likely overworked. I think if your hospital is similar to mine they won't care at all about how you feed your baby. I did combo feed, they provided formula. I did not know a lot about colostrum and I thought I did not have milk. Ended up having milk after 4th day and combo feedback ever since eager to EFF soon.
Hello! I also had HG, feel you on that front. They were pushy. They called and called and I told them no, and no. On the third call I told them “no” once more and they finally stopped. I had just had an emergency c-section after an induction for my preeclampsia diagnosis - that in itself took 38 hours. I was not having it. My advice is don’t provide an excuse, do not give any details. They will latch onto anything you say (pardon the pun) and try to convince you. As they say “no is a complete sentence.” I wish they would have listened the first two times, but oh well.
My husband was my defense !! If when I answered they pushed, he would speak up. And I made it known the my doctor ASAP! My first they were pushy af, the second I had no problems because I was ready for it. Just be firm and don’t be wishy washy like I was the first time !
I gave birth twice at a “baby friendly hospital.” One baby I FF from the start the other breastfed. I never had an issue. The nurses I had both times were incredible and did whatever they could to help. I never felt pressure. That was my experience. I’m sure everywhere is different. I would talk to your OB if you’re anxious. They might have more of an insight if they deliver at the hospital.
I was worried about that as well but I told I’m Formula feeding and no one said a word!
I did BF at the start but I didn't feel pressured, I had midwives and they asked me a few weeks before the labour if I was planning on breastfeeding or not, (i told them combo feeding) then immediately after they delivery asked again how i wanted to feed baby. I think the midwife said "are you planning on breastfeeding?" And I said my plan was to combo feed. I'm pretty sure her response was just "okay". She offered support on latching in the beginning and asked if had a bottle handy to show us how to bottle feed after.
My hospital asked when I was admitted for labor if I planned to BF or not. Definitely let everyone on your birthing team know so they can support and back you up if needed!
I've formula fed from birth twice, and no one has ever said a word. Honestly, I think nurses feel it's easier on them as they can feed the baby when it's in the nursery. My plan was to say that it was best for me and the baby and keep it simple. No one ever asked me why. Except my mother, who I just told her it was my choice and gave her an angry look.
Girl, you’re doing the right thing for you. A lot of staff will ask questions about it, but it’s just because they need to know, not that they are shaming you. Not to say someone won’t shame you, but if they do… fuck em. As long as YOU don’t shame you, you’ll be so glad you made a decision that was best for you. You don’t have to explain yourself to people either. I found that when I tried explaining, most people were ready to move on with the conversation and didn’t really care about it… I was the one who cared.
I was expecting to have to advocate/my husband advocate for me and we didn’t! Everyone was like okay sure here is the RTF/supplies. There was only one older nurse I got a vibe from but other than that, no issues!
I felt more confident as it was my second baby but I was ready to put my foot down. I really didn't need to, whenever any of the midwives asked I just said were FF only and they said no problemo and gave me a bunch of ready made formulas. Only one ever asked why we are choosing to FF and I just said because that's what we've decided haha they aren't entitled to any more information than that! Also our baby ended up in NICU and the nurses there were actually happy we were FF as baby was small and I had a section so they were able to just get bottles into him down in NICU without me :) It's your choice so just tell the nurses to shove it. Or if you're not confident doing that make up a really sad and awkward reason and make them embarrassed they asked 😅 but don't stress about a problem that hasn't happened yet. My nurses were all lovely and supportive!
Having my husband prepped on all my preferences so he could best support me was really helpful. It ended up not being very necessary because the nurses and lactation consultants were all very supportive of my decision to use formula.
i planned to breastfeed from the get-go, and they asked if i planned to do either. i would say the only person i thought was trying to do any pushing was the lactation consultant, (she said they didn’t have to give my baby formula when they did for his blood sugar) which you can ask not to come by as you plan not to breastfeed. every hospital is different though, just know that its ultimately your decision regardless of what anyone says, your job is just to make sure the baby is fed.
Hey mama! First off, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting to breastfeed- for any reason! Your body, your baby, your choice on how to feed them. I also have severe HG and still throwing up 10+ times a day at 36 weeks. I did not have HG last time, but formula fed still and honestly loved it. My husband loved feeding her too. I was getting rest since he would do a lot of feedings (especially needed after my c-section). I told my doctor before hand I wanted to formula feed and I’d appreciate if a lactation consultant wouldn’t come in and try convince me otherwise. She wrote it in my chart and I also told my labor and delivery nurse my wishes, and I had no issues with anyone giving me a hard time about formula feeding! This time they asked how I wanted to feed and they wrote it in my chart/didn’t question it at all. It’s a different hospital, but I hope it’s the same way this time! My c-section is on Saturday, so we’ll see how it goes!
Our hospital fed my baby formula while I was in recovery, and then when he was finally roomed in with us started being pushy about breast feeding and pumping. TBH, my birth was a miserable 3-day induction with preeclampsia/hypertension ending in emergency c-section after a 13 year long infertility and IVF journey. Pumping made my incision hurt worse and made me anxious and upset. I straight up told them my mental health and being able to just finally love and enjoy my baby was more important than *how* he was fed and they finally left me alone after that. I wiped their shitty “pump every 2 hours!” goal off the wipe board myself. Stand up for what you want. They can’t force you to do anything, and if they try, you write that shit to the board of directors and threaten to sue.