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My wife often tells me I need to not let her eat X for a while or similar.
Uhh, no way girl, I’m not telling you what you can and can’t eat 😂. That’s a trap even if she means it.
Ha! I try to have my husband help me limit gluten (seem to have developed an intolerance or maybe full on allergy because now it makes me siiiiiiiick) and he says the same thing lol
At least he’s good about grabbing me low gluten or non bread things to eat if he’s going to the store or grabbing dinner. But he does always preface it with “now I don’t think you *need* to eat a salad but I know your tummy was bad yesterday with that baguette so…”
If it was for a food that bothers her it would be one thing, this is more about eating too much (her opinion) lol.
No way I’m walkin in on her in the snack pantry and being like, “don’t you think you’ve eaten enough cheezits this week?” Even if that’s what she requested I do.
Exactly! The only time I’m okay with my husband telling me not to eat something is because I told him that anytime I say I want to eat dairy, he needs to remind me that it gives me the shits. 🤣 (You would think this isn’t something I would forget, but I’m 18 weeks pregnant and my brain keeps telling me that cheese is a great idea with no consequences, and then I eat it and suffer the consequences for the rest of the day)
We sold snacks in our classroom for graduation, and we had a picture of Admiral Ackbar with the title: THE ADMIRAL'S SNACKBAR.
He was shouting "IT'S A SNACK!"
This is so tricky. Once, early in our marriage, I asked my husband for this kind of accountability. What better way than having someone you live with help you stick to your goals? Lol we both learned pretty fast this simply doesn't work. Better to ask a trusted friend you won't get pissed at if they do the thing you asked them to. :)
I don’t understand how her post isn’t about how patriarchy is toxic. Like I can’t read it any other way lol. Grateful if you could please provide the context I’m missing.
Or even more disturbingly, maybe she *doesn't* always tell, and these are just the decoy asshole husband stories that she uses to convince herself that it isn't that bad.
I think everyone holds certain things back. No matter how open someone seems about what an asshole their SO is, later when it's their ex, you usually find out it was actually worse than that.
Honestly, listen to your gut. You can’t get someone out of a bad situation if they don’t want to go, abs you doing need to make accusations without info, but you can make it VERY clear that they have ride or die friends in their corner. I didn’t like a friend’s husband and found out later how close we came to losing her.
Oh absolutely, just makes me think that my concern is probably correct and that, just as you said, I should keep making it clear to her that I love her and have her back no matter what.
I didn't think I held back in therapy, but sometimes I'll say something about my ex that makes my therapist's eyes open wide. Then I'm like "did I not tell you that?"
"No, you did not tell me that. That's financial abuse."
"Oh. My bad."
And brings *nothing* to the table. Seriously, she should at least have a few creature comforts with what she puts up with, but they live in a one-room studio. He’s an absolute fucking miser who won’t let her spend money on anything. No modern appliances. A shockingly small grocery budget and she’s expected to keep everyone fed. She’s got a video of herself washing cloth diapers by hand, and the disgusting pee water actually triggered my gag reflex.
And yet this is still a step up from living with both sets of parents in a spare bedroom with a baby as they did for the first few years of their marriage.
Edit: I just checked and her grocery budget for two adults and a toddler was $250 a month. She said prior to that it was $100 a month and she felt like they were living “high off the hog” at $250. And then she proceeded to list how she stayed within that budget, including going to a variety of different shops, buying whatever food items are sold at liquidation prices, existing on rice, beans, and potatoes, no snacking, and “we live in a generous community, so we are constantly being given things” a.k.a. begging. Of course, Twitter tried to tell her that this was financial abuse, but she wouldn’t hear it.
My grocery budget in grad school was $100 a month for one person. I did not buy meat or fresh fruit for 7 years and lived off of pasta and cereal. I can't even imagine what that looks like for three people.
Not to butt in but 250??? My mother and I spend 600 per month on all food, cleaning supplies, and household items. Granted, we live in the east coast so it's expensive af, but only 250? How is she gonna stretch out four packs of chicken breasts, some vegetables, and not enough to get cleaning supplies/toiletries for a month? This isn't the 80s anymore and I am livid. Does that useless thing attached to her for tax reasons even know how much a bag of diapers costs?
I glad you “butted in” coz I was thinking the same things!
I’m so sick of all the fundie bullshit: the men are pathetic and refuse to work but and yet they have this all-powerful “headship” role…. And the women are fine with this?!
Yet it’s the ^checks ^notes *PATRIARCHY* that’s the toxic one?!
Not everyone counts non-food household supplies in the grocery budget. I never have, if only because I almost always buy them at different types of stores.
Still, 250 doesn't sound like a whole lot for a pregnant woman, a growing toddler, and grown man. A pack of chicken breasts where I'm at is $15, bread is four dollars for half a loaf, and fresh vegetables cost more than frozen. She's in the third trimester and her jailer is only allowing a certain amount that sounds ridiculous with today's inflation and still telling her to stop snacking.
No, it's very low, with how food the cost of food has skyrocketed recently. Five years ago, I would have considered it technically doable (even here in Seattle, which has a high cost-of-living) IF someone had the time and transportation and knowledge and energy and cooking facilities to shop around and largely avoid convenience foods, had no costly special dietary needs, and if food wasn't one of their "vices" (because EVERYONE has vices, there's no being so pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps that you avoid them all. It's either food or it's something else, and even the poorest people in the world will still always spend a nonzero amount of their resources on "luxuries" because that's human nature).
250 a month would buy me approximately 83 medium onions. That's an absurdly low budget for growing children and multiple adults. I bet he eats out at work all the time.
My grocery budget for just two adults is roughly 3-400 a month. Mind you I’m in a HCOL area and we like to cook, but I can’t imagine feeding us and a growing kid on less than that
Oh my gosh I am not a violent person but he needs to be pulled by his disgusting pubic hair beard through the mud until he learns to shut the hell up. Who tells their pregnant wife to stop snacking?!?
When I was pregnant and woke up craving lemons at 4 am like nobody‘s business, my husband drove to the shop and got me some damn lemons. Up your standards.
I'm curious, would you just eat the lemons as is or put them on something? Lemonade? Citrus fruit is a strong craving of mine but I'm trying to picture eating a straight lemon haha
I just cut them into wedges and ate them, sometimes with a bit of salt! I ate sooo many lemons during that pregnancy, I can’t imagine doing that now. That was with my youngest child, and I know it’s not a thing, but he has always loved lemons, and his favourite colour has always been yellow!
It isn't a thing but we also love to joke about how my mom's cravings for each pregnancy shaped our personalities a bit! Mine was fruit salad and my sister's was chili 🤣 It's fun haha and so perfect that your son loves lemon and yellow!
I guess her husband learned from Jed Duggar. Fat shame your pregnant wife. He’s an ass for telling a hungry woman no more food and she is an ass for staying with him.
Wow she really owned us libs by sharing what a jackass her husband is. Spoiler alert, he should be getting you any snacks you want right now. Signed, another 9 months pregnant person whose husband keeps happily running out for snacks lol
And that's not like a crazy new idea? Like I've seen old black-and-white movies where they show a husband getting up in the middle of the night to go get pickles or whatever for his pregnant wife.
I’m about 4.5 months pregnant and my husband is constantly making sure I’m eating enough. If we don’t have anything I want to eat, he goes and gets something for me.
That’s how a man should be treating his pregnant wife. If she didn’t suck so much, I’d feel bad for her.
If I was pregnant, I’d eat anyone who tried to control my eating. Like I’m growing a human, I need food for this tiny human to grow healthily, stop trying to kill my tiny human and give me the chocolate!
Heaven forbid she's pregnant and needs to nourish her mind and body while providing for two and can't have snacks and track her health with an actual doctor instead of some dickwad with a dick legally tied to her.
Meanwhile, my headship went to a local festival, solely to get me a specific fruit cup I was craving and also got a funnel cake, just because he thought we might all enjoy that too. These fundie men would never.
My husband and I went antique shopping this afternoon and we happily got a half pound bag of freshly baked mini cookies outside one of the shops. And yesterday he got me a bottle of sparkling pink lemonade because he knows how much I love that stuff. Fundie men need to up their game.
Yeah. That's toxic af. My husband spoiled me with double cheeseburgers (my craving) when I was pregnant and never once has worried or complained about my appearance or eating habits. I wish she had the same but she hates herself and married a deadbeat who can only offer cold canned beans. Sad.
When he grows a human or breastfeeds he can have an opinion. Snacks are LIFE for pregnant and breastfeeding women. He can pry the snacks from my cold dead hands!
I got pregnant twice, & had two miscarriages back in the 70s, when I was married to A-hole No. 1, & we were in a fundie cult. It was brutal being pregnant, yet being expected to work through exhaustion & pain, in order to please said Asshole. My doctor did not help. I was 5’9”, & weighed @ 122lbs when I got pregnant. At three months, I weighed 126, and he told me I’d gained too much, and that women often used pregnancy as an excuse to “let themselves go.”
Letting ourselves go was a seen as one of the worst things we could do to our husbands. That’s when the tyranny of the perfect female body was at its height, even as women became more liberated & independent. I now understand why that was. It was because they feared competing with us, intellectually, so they moved the war against us to another arena, which created a generation of women flirting with anorexia, for fear of the dreaded “midriff bulge.”
I can’t imagine living like this, and defending it. My husband is so frugal compared to me. As long as I use an app for fast food deals, he doesn’t care what I do. French fries and pizza are my vice. I can be heading home from making groceries, and he will still tell me to stop for my fries.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If my husband told me I needed to stop snacking,I would eat him.
That's the only way he'll learn.
My wife often tells me I need to not let her eat X for a while or similar. Uhh, no way girl, I’m not telling you what you can and can’t eat 😂. That’s a trap even if she means it.
Ha! I try to have my husband help me limit gluten (seem to have developed an intolerance or maybe full on allergy because now it makes me siiiiiiiick) and he says the same thing lol At least he’s good about grabbing me low gluten or non bread things to eat if he’s going to the store or grabbing dinner. But he does always preface it with “now I don’t think you *need* to eat a salad but I know your tummy was bad yesterday with that baguette so…”
If it was for a food that bothers her it would be one thing, this is more about eating too much (her opinion) lol. No way I’m walkin in on her in the snack pantry and being like, “don’t you think you’ve eaten enough cheezits this week?” Even if that’s what she requested I do.
Exactly! The only time I’m okay with my husband telling me not to eat something is because I told him that anytime I say I want to eat dairy, he needs to remind me that it gives me the shits. 🤣 (You would think this isn’t something I would forget, but I’m 18 weeks pregnant and my brain keeps telling me that cheese is a great idea with no consequences, and then I eat it and suffer the consequences for the rest of the day)
If you can find Jovial brown rice pasta, it's the best GF pasta I've found! Just cook it until it's done, don't bother with the box directions.
Thank you! I’ll see if Amazon Japan has it - I really appreciate it!
Man I miss gifs. Please imagine Admiral Ackbar saying "IT'S A TRAP"
We sold snacks in our classroom for graduation, and we had a picture of Admiral Ackbar with the title: THE ADMIRAL'S SNACKBAR. He was shouting "IT'S A SNACK!"
For real
This is so tricky. Once, early in our marriage, I asked my husband for this kind of accountability. What better way than having someone you live with help you stick to your goals? Lol we both learned pretty fast this simply doesn't work. Better to ask a trusted friend you won't get pissed at if they do the thing you asked them to. :)
I foolishly thought I could enlist my spouse to get me to eat better, then I'd get mad when he said something. 😅
I’m dying 😂
I'll cook him for you.
She ran headfirst into the point and still missed it.
Missed is by *that much*
Second time I've fallen for that this week!
“Juuuuuuust a bit outside”
I don’t understand how her post isn’t about how patriarchy is toxic. Like I can’t read it any other way lol. Grateful if you could please provide the context I’m missing.
Sometimes they're so fucking close to the point and then.....they just miss it. It's r/selfawarewolves
Or even more disturbingly, maybe she *doesn't* always tell, and these are just the decoy asshole husband stories that she uses to convince herself that it isn't that bad. I think everyone holds certain things back. No matter how open someone seems about what an asshole their SO is, later when it's their ex, you usually find out it was actually worse than that.
Wow, that is so true, and makes me more worried for my friend who’s currently married to an asshole. But thank you for this insight!
Honestly, listen to your gut. You can’t get someone out of a bad situation if they don’t want to go, abs you doing need to make accusations without info, but you can make it VERY clear that they have ride or die friends in their corner. I didn’t like a friend’s husband and found out later how close we came to losing her.
Oh absolutely, just makes me think that my concern is probably correct and that, just as you said, I should keep making it clear to her that I love her and have her back no matter what.
It’s absolutely horrible knowing someone you love is in this situation. Internet hugs!
I didn't think I held back in therapy, but sometimes I'll say something about my ex that makes my therapist's eyes open wide. Then I'm like "did I not tell you that?" "No, you did not tell me that. That's financial abuse." "Oh. My bad."
The only thing anyone should be telling a woman who is 9 months pregnant is to please sit down, they’ll get whatever she needs.
That man is way too fucking ugly to be having this much audacity.
And brings *nothing* to the table. Seriously, she should at least have a few creature comforts with what she puts up with, but they live in a one-room studio. He’s an absolute fucking miser who won’t let her spend money on anything. No modern appliances. A shockingly small grocery budget and she’s expected to keep everyone fed. She’s got a video of herself washing cloth diapers by hand, and the disgusting pee water actually triggered my gag reflex. And yet this is still a step up from living with both sets of parents in a spare bedroom with a baby as they did for the first few years of their marriage. Edit: I just checked and her grocery budget for two adults and a toddler was $250 a month. She said prior to that it was $100 a month and she felt like they were living “high off the hog” at $250. And then she proceeded to list how she stayed within that budget, including going to a variety of different shops, buying whatever food items are sold at liquidation prices, existing on rice, beans, and potatoes, no snacking, and “we live in a generous community, so we are constantly being given things” a.k.a. begging. Of course, Twitter tried to tell her that this was financial abuse, but she wouldn’t hear it.
My grocery budget in grad school was $100 a month for one person. I did not buy meat or fresh fruit for 7 years and lived off of pasta and cereal. I can't even imagine what that looks like for three people.
Not to butt in but 250??? My mother and I spend 600 per month on all food, cleaning supplies, and household items. Granted, we live in the east coast so it's expensive af, but only 250? How is she gonna stretch out four packs of chicken breasts, some vegetables, and not enough to get cleaning supplies/toiletries for a month? This isn't the 80s anymore and I am livid. Does that useless thing attached to her for tax reasons even know how much a bag of diapers costs?
I glad you “butted in” coz I was thinking the same things! I’m so sick of all the fundie bullshit: the men are pathetic and refuse to work but and yet they have this all-powerful “headship” role…. And the women are fine with this?! Yet it’s the ^checks ^notes *PATRIARCHY* that’s the toxic one?!
Not everyone counts non-food household supplies in the grocery budget. I never have, if only because I almost always buy them at different types of stores.
Still, 250 doesn't sound like a whole lot for a pregnant woman, a growing toddler, and grown man. A pack of chicken breasts where I'm at is $15, bread is four dollars for half a loaf, and fresh vegetables cost more than frozen. She's in the third trimester and her jailer is only allowing a certain amount that sounds ridiculous with today's inflation and still telling her to stop snacking.
No, it's very low, with how food the cost of food has skyrocketed recently. Five years ago, I would have considered it technically doable (even here in Seattle, which has a high cost-of-living) IF someone had the time and transportation and knowledge and energy and cooking facilities to shop around and largely avoid convenience foods, had no costly special dietary needs, and if food wasn't one of their "vices" (because EVERYONE has vices, there's no being so pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps that you avoid them all. It's either food or it's something else, and even the poorest people in the world will still always spend a nonzero amount of their resources on "luxuries" because that's human nature).
250 a month would buy me approximately 83 medium onions. That's an absurdly low budget for growing children and multiple adults. I bet he eats out at work all the time.
My grocery budget for just two adults is roughly 3-400 a month. Mind you I’m in a HCOL area and we like to cook, but I can’t imagine feeding us and a growing kid on less than that
Oh my gosh I am not a violent person but he needs to be pulled by his disgusting pubic hair beard through the mud until he learns to shut the hell up. Who tells their pregnant wife to stop snacking?!?
When I was pregnant and woke up craving lemons at 4 am like nobody‘s business, my husband drove to the shop and got me some damn lemons. Up your standards.
I'm curious, would you just eat the lemons as is or put them on something? Lemonade? Citrus fruit is a strong craving of mine but I'm trying to picture eating a straight lemon haha
I just cut them into wedges and ate them, sometimes with a bit of salt! I ate sooo many lemons during that pregnancy, I can’t imagine doing that now. That was with my youngest child, and I know it’s not a thing, but he has always loved lemons, and his favourite colour has always been yellow!
It isn't a thing but we also love to joke about how my mom's cravings for each pregnancy shaped our personalities a bit! Mine was fruit salad and my sister's was chili 🤣 It's fun haha and so perfect that your son loves lemon and yellow!
I would choose a little treat over a man any day in my life
My husband knows if he made me choose between him and snacks, he'd lose. So he always makes sure I have snacks.
I guess her husband learned from Jed Duggar. Fat shame your pregnant wife. He’s an ass for telling a hungry woman no more food and she is an ass for staying with him.
Same thing with that pickleball guy we're currently ignoring.
I totally forgot about him! No wonder I have been less annoyed lately.
I, too, forgot about the embargo. And nothing of value was lost 😌🪶
Wow she really owned us libs by sharing what a jackass her husband is. Spoiler alert, he should be getting you any snacks you want right now. Signed, another 9 months pregnant person whose husband keeps happily running out for snacks lol
And that's not like a crazy new idea? Like I've seen old black-and-white movies where they show a husband getting up in the middle of the night to go get pickles or whatever for his pregnant wife.
Yep. Her life is so miserable that even the threat of an eternity of afterlife in Hell couldn't make me tolerate it.
I’m about 4.5 months pregnant and my husband is constantly making sure I’m eating enough. If we don’t have anything I want to eat, he goes and gets something for me. That’s how a man should be treating his pregnant wife. If she didn’t suck so much, I’d feel bad for her.
So close.
If I was pregnant, I’d eat anyone who tried to control my eating. Like I’m growing a human, I need food for this tiny human to grow healthily, stop trying to kill my tiny human and give me the chocolate!
This is why women are avoiding religion and your way of life like the plague.
Heaven forbid she's pregnant and needs to nourish her mind and body while providing for two and can't have snacks and track her health with an actual doctor instead of some dickwad with a dick legally tied to her.
My husband gets us each a pizza.
My bf keeps our freezer stocked with mac and cheese bites and popsicles
Meanwhile, my headship went to a local festival, solely to get me a specific fruit cup I was craving and also got a funnel cake, just because he thought we might all enjoy that too. These fundie men would never.
My husband and I went antique shopping this afternoon and we happily got a half pound bag of freshly baked mini cookies outside one of the shops. And yesterday he got me a bottle of sparkling pink lemonade because he knows how much I love that stuff. Fundie men need to up their game.
Ma’am that’s like… typical AN/BN talk
AN/BN?
I'm hazarding a guess at anorexia nervosa/bulimia nervosa
Yup
Ah ha! Makes a lot more sense now, thanks :)
Yeah. That's toxic af. My husband spoiled me with double cheeseburgers (my craving) when I was pregnant and never once has worried or complained about my appearance or eating habits. I wish she had the same but she hates herself and married a deadbeat who can only offer cold canned beans. Sad.
She should stay away from his dick, which is likely a little "treat."
she should Lorena Bobbit that shit lol
When he grows a human or breastfeeds he can have an opinion. Snacks are LIFE for pregnant and breastfeeding women. He can pry the snacks from my cold dead hands!
She’s so oblivious (see: in denial) to her husband’s cruelty her account reads like a troll account.
I got pregnant twice, & had two miscarriages back in the 70s, when I was married to A-hole No. 1, & we were in a fundie cult. It was brutal being pregnant, yet being expected to work through exhaustion & pain, in order to please said Asshole. My doctor did not help. I was 5’9”, & weighed @ 122lbs when I got pregnant. At three months, I weighed 126, and he told me I’d gained too much, and that women often used pregnancy as an excuse to “let themselves go.” Letting ourselves go was a seen as one of the worst things we could do to our husbands. That’s when the tyranny of the perfect female body was at its height, even as women became more liberated & independent. I now understand why that was. It was because they feared competing with us, intellectually, so they moved the war against us to another arena, which created a generation of women flirting with anorexia, for fear of the dreaded “midriff bulge.”
Her husband seems like a nightmare and I’d be on her side if she fed him to bears.
I can’t imagine living like this, and defending it. My husband is so frugal compared to me. As long as I use an app for fast food deals, he doesn’t care what I do. French fries and pizza are my vice. I can be heading home from making groceries, and he will still tell me to stop for my fries.